User talk:Irishou
| This user is a student editor in UC_Berkeley/Global_Poverty_and_Practice_(Spring_2018) . |
Hello! Irishou (talk) 19:29, 24 January 2018 (UTC)
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Irishou, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:07, 25 January 2018 (UTC)
Peer Review Feedback, 3/15/18 (Nidhi)
[edit]- For Cervical Cancer section, define what VIA is before using the abbreviation.
- Decide whether Cervical Cancer should go under "reproductive and sexual health" or "nonreproductive health" headings
- Can add more sources on the technical aspects of VIA
- Elaborate more on successes of VIA in Thailand and other areas
- More explanation as to why VIA may be valuable for developing nations vs developed
- For Breast Cancer section, what are you comparing breast cancer fatality rates in Ghana to? — Preceding unsigned comment added by Nidhi97 (talk • contribs) 07:09, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
Peer Review Feedback From Divya
[edit]Hi Iris!
Great work on your articles so far, I really enjoyed reading your contributions. I think it would be helpful to explain what VIA is -- I myself am unfamiliar with this acronym, so explaining this / linking a relevant wikipedia article to it for further reading if the user chooses might be a good idea.
I definitely don't want to make assumptions and connect dots that don't mean to be connected in your article, but is the case fatality rate higher in developing countries because they are not able to get the diagnosis? Is this the root cause? If so, i think it will flow really well with your explanation about the one vs two visitations so I would go ahead and make that distinction.
For the supporting statistics, can you include them? It would be nice to be able to compare the statistics in your description with the ones already in the article. Also, I am not sure if you linked cryotherapy but I think it would be helpful -- if there is a wiki link on it, or describe the process briefly.
For Ghana’s “disorganized health infrastructure”, can you explain a bit about it? Or link a page to it? I think some sort of baseline as to what good or bad health infrastructure looks like would be helpful to the reader.
I also think it would be valuable to discuss the on boarding/adoption process of VIA in different governments? (especially in developing countries). I think feasibility is a huge concern probably between VIA and the current protocol, and showing how to simplify that would be nice!
Could you quantify the “accessibility in terms of procedures and resources required” —> what resources are required? I think the more specific the better!
For the breast cancer article, when you say similar environments/situations, this feels like a broad generalization. Could you be more specific regarding the actual conditions that could make the environment similar to Ghana's?
The lead says that poverty affects women’s health, but doesn’t talk about the room to optimize procedures or countries that are disproportionately affected, so this may be something to keep in mind when you are writing! I also like how you compared the programs in Thailand and Ghana, but perhaps countries that are closer in geographic location might be a good point of comparison too (or similar terrain or community infrastructure since your argument has a lot to do with access). Hope this is helpful! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Divyanekkanti (talk • contribs) 20:19, 9 April 2018 (UTC)