A poem/ rap I made Please tell me if it makes sense or if it's good

I wrote this song, it’s supposed to be a rap song, and I wanted everyone’s opinion. If you want to read the rest there is a board called mine you can go to.

I was about 17 when I first heard this jam and was completely floored at its tempo and the rhymes. A true Pioneer of the genre.

This is my first verse 16 bars

Tupac- Keep Ya Head Up