"I literally will never understand how someone can abandon their own child and continue living their life like that child doesn't exist. "

I am worth it, not was..

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Absent fathers. How many months of not speaking to your child? And two holidays missed now? And for what? Regret is a bitch...unfortunately you'll feel that soon enough. But most importantly, there is not a care about what you are doing to him. You'll have to live with that. And I'll continue to live picking up the pieces. Sucks for all, all around but most if all him of course. Selfishness....