Her arms and legs are too long and muscular, and she plays too much of a slambang game of tennis to be glamorous…Even today, at 26, she is somewhat of a tomboy, hits a tennis ball harder than do most men.

While preparing viewers for the slambang climactic showdown of apes and men on the Golden Gate Bridge, which everyone has seen in the trailers and which is pretty amazing, director Rupert Wyatt summons thrills in more artful fashion: the image of trees silently shedding their leaves — before a hundred apes drop down from them to create havoc in a suburban neighborhood — or of the rampaging apes, when they invade a zoo, dismantling a large metal fence and using the pickets as spears.

Me and Lord Roberts have sized up this yere Kayser for what he be, a very bumptious, slambang, bold pirate, a Grab-all as must be put in his place by we.

Or--best guess--maybe the filmmakers are so lost in their slambang visual effects that they don't give a hoot about the movie's scariest implications.

The notion that a film's look and tone can be its subject is, well, foreign to Hollywood directors, for whom the basic elements are a propulsive story and some slambang special effects.