Apparel, joke presents, or equipment are all off the table.

The struggling Ollie Pope was lbw sweeping, Joe Root was bowled on the back foot and Harry Brook missed a sweep, all off Sajid.

Mr Khalife told the interviewing police officer: “This particular document is all off my own head.”

They dropped five catches - all off opener Qiana Joseph - as West Indies produced a stunning run chase of 142 to reach the semi-finals at England's expense.

Like there’s some outside force or group or … something … that’s sent us all off course from the libertarian utopia we should’ve achieved by now.