Wave after wave after wave of badly groomed men desperately in need of a shave and a bath fall to her bow, to her pistol, to her shotgun and her grenade-lobbing rifle, to her climbing ax.

In addition to being freshly married, he is short, tubby, badly groomed and drunk, brandishing a stubbed-out Montecristo cigar along with his hackneyed pickup lines.

"The princess resembles a badly groomed suburban young woman, her hands roughened at the kitchen sink, about to pick up a tray," wrote the Daily Mail.

"No, I do not think you are milord Quorn, my good fellow," he concluded, taking Lady Ormstork's view of the badly groomed object of his scrutiny.

Wrathfully she glanced at the poor old beasts, the bones sticking out of their wrinkled, badly groomed skin like those of a skeleton.