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| CLASSIC HABY STUPID WEATHER JOKES SET 3 |
51. What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
-Hang onto your leaves, this will be no ordinary breeze
52. What did the lightning bolt say to the old oak tree?
-Hang onto your bark, this will be no ordinary spark
53. What did the hail storm say to the roof?
-Hang onto your shingles, this will be no ordinary sprinkles
54. How do hurricane's see?
-With one eye
55. What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called?
-Hurricanes with cataracts
56. Why did the chicken cross the road?
-The storm threat always looks better on the other side
57. Why did the updraft get pulled over?
-It was speeding in a high shear zone
58. What do lightning bolts do when they laugh?
-They crack up
59. What is a hurricane's favorite pet?
-Anywhere from 1 to 5 cats
60. The Thunderstorm vs. The Farmer
There are two rival farmers in Iowa that are corn growers. Both farmers have a 500 acre plot of land next to each other. One farmer thought the other farmer got the most rain almost every time there was a rain chance. After one more day of a nice downpour on the neighbor's farm land and none on his, the farmer becomes extra furious. The farmer sues the thunderstorm that gave his neighbor water but not him for discrimination and neglect. They eventually have a court hearing to try to resolve the matter. The thunderstorm calmly explains that climatologically precipitation will even out between the two farmers. The disgruntled farmer however explains that on that particular day the thunderstorm cheated him out of water. After hearing the testimony, the judge rules that the thunderstorm is guilty and must give the farmer 4 additional inches of precipitation. The farmer walks out cheerfully while the thunderstorm is very puzzled. The thunderstorm goes out in the countryside and thinks about the ruling. Later that day the thunderstorm builds up the moisture to give the farmer his rain. The farmer sits out on his front porch with his hands folded behind his head and laughs at the developing and approaching thunderstorm. Seeing this, the thunderstorm convectively explodes. The thunderstorm pays the farmer back with 4 inches of golf ball size hail. After all the farmer's crops are decimated the farmer sues again but this time the judge does not punish the thunderstorm since the farmer got his water.
Moral of story: When the weather is not to your liking make sure to remember that it could be a whole lot worse. Don't complain too boldly when a very nearby place gets weather that you want because it will even out climatologically.
61. Why did the Aggie think the weatherman got the sunny forecast wrong?
-The Aggie drove through a car wash
Why did the Aggie call 911 in the car wash?
-The Aggie thought he saw the rotating car washer as a tornado
62. Zen Master: A thunderstorm is like the world. A thunderstorm has billions of raindrops just as the world has billions of people. All these individual raindrops like individual people will merge into one pool upon reaching the end destination.
63. What game do tornadoes like to play?
-Twister
64. How did the hail stone describe it's life?
-It really has a lot of ups and downs
65. How do rain drops marry?
-They coalesce
66. If humankind ever ventures to land on the sun, when should they do it?
-At night
67. What are some bad weather names for a race horse?
-Dissipation Stage, Horse Latitude, Calm Wind
68. Why do they call it the Tropic of Cancer?
-The sun angle is high enough to give you skin cancer in the summer
69. What did the Aggie who was hiking to the North Pole say in the summer?
-Damn, it has been a long day
What did the Aggie who was hiking to the North Pole say in the winter?
-Damn, it has been a long night
70. Why was the lightning grilled on the stove?
-To make heat lightning
71. What type of lightning likes to play sports?
-Ball lightning
72. What cloud is so lazy because it will not get up?
-Fog
73. What are some weather words that it might not be a good idea to name your dog?
-Frostbite, outgas, smog, mistral
74. How can you tell if a tornado is stupid?
-If it spins anti-cyclonically
75. THE DEPRESSED METEOROLOGIST
After being fired from his fifth meteorology job in two years, a very depressed Aggie meteorologist decides that he has come to the end of the road and it is time to end his life. He loves the weather so much though that he decides he wants to die from a weather disaster. He wants nothing more than to be a lightning, tornado or flash flood death statistic. For the first month he tries several times to get struck by lighting. He waves the golf club in the air and walks around the golf course and under trees. After several attempts at doing this he is unsuccessful. He then decides he will drive into a tornado. After driving around the Great Plains for a month he is unsuccessful at not only driving into a tornado but even seeing one. Next, he makes several attempts of swimming in a nearby creek so that he can drown in a flash flood. He is once again unsuccessful at dying. The depressed Aggie meteorologist now gets very angry with God. He pleads with God to get him off this earth through a weather disaster. While in his sleep one night God comes to him in a dream. God gives him a long lecture on the importance of living a full life on earth and that things will turn around for him if he finds some constructive weather education goals to pursue. God ends his lecture by stating, "I refuse to have you removed from the earth by a weather disaster but I am confused by why you went to the golf course on clear days, did your Great Plains tornado search in January, and swam in a dry creek bed on days it did not rain. Keep pursuing that dream of becoming a better forecaster and meteorologist and I will have a special place waiting for you in heaven."