I love someone. it's weird. for 18 years i never loved. never been loved, never needed it, never had it, stopped wanting  and wishing a long time ago. and then i met him. isnt that weird? "and then i met him." what, is this some kind of high school drama? but i did. and... he turned my life inside out, upside down. he changed everything for the better. and we loved. it wasnt easy. we took breaks. we fought. we were both terrified. but we loved. we loves plant. i watched his garden grow. i know their names. the species. i know- roughly- how to care for them, he taught me. i ask about them. i see their progress. i see his. 

we broke up. and it hurts. and even though we're both doing better now, it still hurts. i still love him. only him. always him. i make coffee so fucking strong the first time he tried it he had cramps so bad he couldnt move. he drinks it darker than me these days, i think. i wonder if he still uses the mug i got him.

i love space. i grieve hard. i look at the plants and ache. how dare this game punch me where it hurts. it's beautiful. amazing game.

sorry for the long comment. this game makes me feel things. 

my favourite colour is yellow.