Speaking of things totally irrational and crazy and absurd, the Manchester City high-muck-a-muck, Roberto Mancini, has decided that since winning the league the atmosphere around their Carrington training ground is a touch too straight-laced, a bit too stuffy.

Alaskan settlers corrupted a powerful drink of the Hutsnuwu Indians into hooch, changed hiu muckamuck, the Chinook words meaning "plenty to eat," into a high-muck-a-muck, a "person of importance."

At this point we must present, with apologies, the agent of the Autocrat, the agent, the High-muck-a-muck of the Pacific Slope, with a salary of a hundred thousand a year and perks!