There is also of course the matter of Barbie being smooth down there, a point Gerwig makes explicit throughout the story.

“The main thing I worked on in the offseason that carried over today was being really smooth down the mound,” deGrom said of his 30-pitch outing, which featured 24 strikes.

Even weirder still is her vast collection of wigs, with which she will suddenly transform herself – with a pink Zandra Rhodes bob or a headful of orphan Annie curls – at moments of stress, the way the rest of us might smooth down our clothes before an important meeting.

My life is happiest when it has enough gloriously pointless distractions to smooth down its more strenuous parts.

“Jess, listen up. You could look so gorgeous if you wore something other than those old jeans and sweatshirts. I bet if you dressed a little nicer, and maybe used some Farewell Frizz Spray or something to smooth down your hair, an eighth-grader would invite you to the dance too.”