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Typical News Stories

Typical news, typical science news, and typical news of the future (exclusive, quadratic).

TYPICAL NEWS STORIES TYPICAL NEWS Going South (women's news): He didn't know his wife was a Cancerian, now he wants a divorce. Bubbles in the East: Recent developments in science could make this new energy dream a reality. Northmen (jobs, taxes, politics): Protesters gathered outside Pratt & Whitney. They demanded a new pay raise as a result of changing work conditions. Military Industrial Complex (West): The new helicopter, expected from the company, working under a DARPA award, will have a deep impact on the nature of the battlefield and how war is fought. TYPICAL SCIENCE NEWS Deeper into the universe, at a higher resolution, with greater density, etc this new condition holds sway, attributed to the work of professor Nussenbaum. The new discovery, which is not fully understood, has deep implications for resolving neurotypical disorders. The effect on the freshwater plankton was traced to carborol X, which produced the distorted red coloration… Imagine the surprise, when we told him he has too many saponins… TYPICAL FUTURE NEWS Perpetual motion was invented. And everyone is still excited. Coppedge still has in his office one that is running. In case you didn’t know, Coppedge is still alive… Recently, Coppedge made a new discovery, that… (fill in innocuous detail). Time travel has dazzled for decades. Now it is time to see the surprising new benefits of (crazy time-travel adventure). This will doubtless reveal new facts and possibilities about the metaverse. People are still marvelling at the benefits of the new immortality (buzzword). People (did exciting activity). People are not completely sure of what is going on, but they remain confident that many new and great things will come in the future. Omni-Science Corp. has released its new module, and people are hyper-excited to try the possibility of (emotional-philosophical buzzword). Technical details. Coppedge, Nathan / SCSU 2017/01/03, p.
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