The postman always rings twice – well, in this case, the courier always rings twice. I was sitting on my bed, laptop open, trying to resist another Netflix romcom, when the doorbell rang. I sat quietly hoping they’d go away.

They went away.

I knew by the loud music and the slide of a van door that it was a courier. I hadn’t ordered yet another random thing online, so I figured whatever it was would not be for me.

About an hour