It’s hard to believe that less than two years ago I was so consumed with parenting issues that I could hardly function. One of our children was displaying significant behaviour problems at school and my husband and I were constantly arguing over our differing parenting styles. We existed in survival mode, entrenched in a life that felt increasingly chaotic. The task of creating health and harmony in our family seemed insurmountable, yet I had a deep sense that there was a better way and I was willing to do the work to get there. While I resolved not to bring my kids up “the old way”, full of criticism, control and judgement, I also knew that I didn’t want to raise them to be entitled. I held a vision of a middle road, an approach that would allow my husband and me to unite and parent our kids in a way that felt intuitively right.

We finally hit rock bottom when it became clear that we had two choices: “fix” our kids’ behaviour by following mainstream advice or experiment with changing our own behaviour. I felt drawn to what Oprah-endorsed psychologist Dr Shefali Tsabary names “conscious parenting”, which advocates approaching parenting with awareness of your own triggers, reactions and behaviours. Together, my husband and I