The right-wing media personality Candace Owens wants to warn the conservative movement about horny bears. In fact, she’s been waiting for five years to relay a factoid she promises will unlock everything.

Strolling the stage at Orlando’s Rosen Shingle Creek Resort, Owens finally has her chance to address the true believers who have come to the annual Conservative Political Action Conference, or CPAC. And she’s going to seize that moment. Nature, she says, is not the pleasant place that the woke media elites down the road at Disney would have you believe.

“Male bears actually kill their cubs,” she tells the audience, which doesn’t quite know how to react. It’s just like humans, she adds. “When female bears give birth and are nursing their cubs, they cannot go into heat.” And here comes the really “weird” part, she announces: “If a nursing mother loses her cubs, the lactation will stop and she will once again become receptive to breeding. So male bears kill their cubs for sex. Really, that’s what it comes down to.”

Okay, it turns out, it’s not just like humans. But the point is that mama bears will fend off horny dads to protect their cubs. And that’s just what conservative women are doing. They are fending off the likes of Anthony Fauci, who wants to inject their kids with “never-ending doses” of COVID vaccines, who instruct parents to put “a filthy