Those who have experienced body dysmorphia or disordered eating may relate to feeling utterly consumed to fix what you believe to be wrong with yourself. You may have developed hypervigilance too, constantly monitoring your reflection to seek out any perceivable imperfection.
You might constantly be hyper-aware of threats which could limit your adherence to new diets and regimes. And trapped in a self-centred world, you may believe others must judge you just as you judge yourself: a defective, unacceptable, imperfect creature. This all-consuming way of being is like a leech in all areas of your life, all the while casting a dark cloud over your world.