DO-DO

(An Internal Voyage)

Rebeca de Vries

***

DODO

(An internal Voyage)

Rebeca de Vries

Edition by The Little French eBooks

Cover by Erica Diaz

Published by The Little French eBooks

Copyright 2015-Rebeca de Vries

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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"Every page of this story is dedicated with love and infinite tenderness to the existing inner child in every human, active or rebellious, asleep or waiting for an opportunity to bring their dreams to reality.

This is a magical journey into the world where everything is possible, beautiful and everlasting; just like a child would feel it and only seen with the eyes of the soul.

And in recognition to Rotocopi, my inner child, curious, funny, irreverent, and naughty. Thanks to her unconditional support, she has been a tireless warrior who have never let reality snatched my true dreams away and has defended my wings of freedom-my imagination-at every moment.

Thank you beloved children! Because without your feelings, there would not be an imagination to truly be, have and create.

May the light always guide your steps and love surround you.

I couldn’t sleep for several nights, I woke up in the early hours of the morning, when the city sleeps and the night is quiet. The peace of the night was occasionally pierced by the wailing of an ambulance or police siren -I learned to know the difference. Often, out of the silence, came an explosion properly of the sound of a bullet. My thoughts were full of anguish, and I thanked God for being protected at home. I seldom got up. I was careful not to stir too much in bed because my husband had a very light sleep, and, in a sense, I thought that I was becoming like him.

At the beginning, I didn’t pay much attention to missing sleep, since my awakenings lasted for only several minutes. However, as time went by, my anguish increased as my awakenings became more frequent; in order to pass time, I began to play with objects in the room. I would open my eyes, and could see nothing at first, so that I imagined them there; and, recalling from memory I knew their size, color and location. The most agreeable thing of all that is that I knew the reason for these were there, I can’t deny reviving good times through the photographs on the dressing table. And, it could seem reasonable that we wish to catch the magic of time.

As time went by, my nightly awakenings increased and so did the tiredness of my body. At first, I didn’t want to tell the others. I was sure that it would go away. I would use my will power to control this annoyance. I searched for new ways to end my sleepless nights. I drank herbal teas, I fed my brain with beautiful thoughts; but as I was beginning to get anxious, I paid attention to my health. Anyway, I was healthy. I thought of the problems that I could have as mother, wife, professional and house keeper. My problems were normal, nothing serious or difficult to solve. In fact, I consider myself a sufficiently strong willed person, in body and mind to be able to handle any situation, no matter how annoying it may seem. However, I was worried. Each night this feeling of searching increased. It wasn’t an acute discomfort, it was more like knowing that I had something to find.

Thus began a period of internal seeking. I was totally aware of being a human being involved in the daily pressures of living in a big city, I feared neurosis. However, this was not my problem. I tried the conventional methods to get some sleep: I counted sheep. This worked occasionally, until the night when I counted up to 999. The next day, I was exhausted! That wasn’t the solution either.

I remembered my bed time stories. I thought of making up a story, or of telling myself a beautiful story before I went to bed. The day went by, and my daily routine didn’t allow me to create stories. I wanted to write. I was enthusiastic with the idea. But, I couldn’t because it should be an early morning task.

When the night finally came, and I woke up, I thought a lot about what it would be. It would be a fairy tale -my childhood preference. As I spent all night, and didn’t find the theme that I wanted, so I fell asleep. I explored the stories and legends that I already knew, but I didn’t feel motivated. When I thought about horror stories, I spent an agitated night; but, truthfully, this was not for me. I admit that I'm still scared at my age. Anyway, I considered adventures, but this was no good either. It didn’t go with my personality. I’m too much of a city girl with no practical experience in that field. During the day, I thought about the idea of inventing a story. At times, I was surprised to realize I had been wandering, floating in the air, on office time. Finally I got it!

It would be a story of love, magic and illusion, where each person was a beautiful person, I mean beautiful internal and external, having wonderful qualities, living in a clean, healthy and fair place. In my thoughts, I considered it an ideal place, the kind one that every human is looking for –and it is discarded yet as impossible. But, that is what it would be.

I was enthusiastic with what I had achieved when it suddenly downed on me that the elements that I wanted to write about contrasted with those I wanted to get rid of. How could I write about love, without the existence of hate, of peace without war, of illusion and magic without true reality? How could I praise nobility without mentioning evil, good without bad, justice without injustice? Again, I found myself trapped in chaos and confusion. I looked for the solution to my problem. I wanted to make myself a gift with a beautiful story, without having big in comparison to small. It should be big all by itself.

As I was getting tired, my family told me that I had to go to a doctor. I didn’t share this idea. In fact, I hate swallowing pills, and I knew the solution that would be offered me: sleeping pills. As a matter of fact, I was afraid to take them. I didn’t wish to have artificial sleep.

The cure would have to come from me in