Table of Contents

The Feeling

Copyright © 2017 Clayten Tylor

Path of Conjugial Love (Diagram)

Dedication

Life-Path Analysis

Ten Spiritual Exercises

Acknowledgment

The Preface

Introduction: the Feeling

Human vs. the Divine Ego

The Word, is a Feeling

Separation Exercise #1

Chapter 1: The Darkness Within

The Love of Self

Sensual Love

Love & Honesty

Initial Light

Rational Silence

Fortune & Gain

Providence: Man's Tree

Silent Soul

Permission: Self-Love Exercise #2

Internal vs. External

Love of Darkness

Conscious Thought Exercise #3

Light as Food

Covenant of Love

Radiating as a Use

Revelation & Enlightenment

Love & Earth

Chapter 3: Sound of Love

Creative Love

Lower unites with the Higher

Resonating with Sound

Sound Pleasure

Glowing Light

The Balance

Uniting Polarities

The Creatress

Virgin Love Exercise #4

Sensual Love

Chapter 4: Love-Temptations

The Birth of Conscience

Motherly Essence

Attack against Love

Regeneration Begins

Immature Love

Abstinence Exercise #5

Heavenly Essence Exercise #6

Chapter 5: The Divine Ego

Divine Order

Conscious Love

Spiritual vs. Sensual Love

Silent Memory

Hereditary Mother

Self-Love Exercise #7

Fatherly Love

Brotherly Love

Chapter 6: The Divine Natural

Body as a Spiritual Church

Charity as a Spiritual Feeling

Our Body of Love

Radiating Love

Acting As If Exercise #8

Alternate vs. Mutual Love

Will & Understanding

Chapter 7: The Divine Feeling

Priestly Vow

Feeling Humility

Faithful Love

Power of an Image

Image as Spiritual Love

Ancient vs. Hereditary

Idolatrous Love

Ten Commandments

The Lord's Prayer

Chapter 8: The Celestial

Two-Way Communication

Celestial Ruby Sphere

False Self-Ability

Celestial Marriage

A Likeness is the Work of Love

Celestial Nakedness

Celestial Essence

Perception as a Feeling

Chapter 9: The Virgin Birth

Spiritual & Celestial Good

Back & Forth Affection

Up & Down Affection

Expanding Affection

Internal vs. External

Equilibrium Exercise #9

Heavenly Love

Chapter 10: The New Love

The New Essence

Truth Causes Fear

Being & Existence

Reaction & Reception

Peace is Union

Son of vs. Son of

Prayer vs. Praying Exercise #10

One Body

One Mind

Universal Love

The Oneness

Spirit vs. Soul

Ark of Love

Last Chance at Love

Polarity Order of Love

Living Your I Am

The Feeling

by

Clayten Tylor

Copyright © 2017 Clayten Tylor

The Feeling

All rights reserved.

Tenth Edition

ISBN 9781365978401

Standard Copyright License

A special thank you to the Swedenborg Foundation for their

generous approval to use their copyrighted material quoted in this book.

Path of Conjugial Love (Diagram)

Dedication

Dedicated to: Emanuel Swedenborg, (1688-1772) — My Savior.

I will admit that this book has far too many quotations from Swedenborg. Yet, the reason I used so many of his quotes was that I needed to prove what I was writing, was true. Often with subjects of spirituality, we like to take the spirit out of the word spiritual. My use of too many quotations is a way to bring the feeling of the spirits and the angels back into the words, spiritual, and celestial.

I like to smell while I breathe. Smelling while breathing opens the spiritual mind and stops the mind-chatter. We need a quiet mind to understand spiritual quotes. Sometimes, as an example, when my mind is quiet and I smell a beautiful perfume, I can feel as if an Angel just swept by me. I want to thank Swedenborg for that way of thinking. By thinking of life in this same way, makes it easy to read difficult subjects, or to come up with ideas and solutions not possible to imagine through the memory.

I like to think of the term spiritual, as being guided intuitively. Intelligence is an aspect of breathing; as is spirit, understanding, and wisdom. The most noticeable thing about death, is the loss of the breathing function. However, there is another breathing function. It is the spiritual breath that results from death. Yet, it is also by breathing deeply while reading something with a spiritual meaning.

The spiritual breath awakens as a rhythm between the in-breath and out-breath. The rhythm of the breathing affects our ability to discriminate and to understand difficult subjects. This book and Swedenborg's quotations, are a way to develop that spiritual breathing function, and to bring the discrimination to recognize a good idea, merely by the feeling of it. The next good idea, could be in our next in-breath.

We want to open the rational level of the mind that results from smelling while breathing-in the spiritual breath. We are trying to draw out the feeling of conjugial love already within us. Not only that, we just need a quiet mind to attract it. This is all I am going to say about the innocence of wisdom, the breathing function of Spirit, as truth, knowledge, and light. The rest of the book gets devoted to the Breath of the Soul, as beauty, charity, love, and goodness.

Life-Path Analysis

For: Emanuel Swedenborg — January 29, 1688

To understand someone, I like to start by undertaking a life-path analysis of their date-of-birth using Numerology. I will calculate one for Swedenborg, but I suggest that you follow along by doing one on your own birth-date. In this way you prove to yourself the spiritual guidance left behind like bread-crumbs along the Path of Return.

Emanuel Swedenborg was a Christian mystic and visionary of the spiritual world. He was born under the Sun-sign of Aquarius, in Stockholm, Sweden, on January 29, 1688, into a wealthy Lutheran family. His writings, particularly his concepts that heaven is a communion of souls, and that dreams contain spiritual guidance, are both significant keys to understanding our present new Age of Aquarius, which signifies the feeling of mutual-love on earth.

Swedenborg's birth-date adds-up and reduces to a single-digit destiny number eight. This is the most fortunate of nine possible life-paths, and can indicate wealth and genius. Indeed, Swedenborg did not ever need to worry about money. The number eight signifies good (A. R. 739).

During our early years, our life gets ruled by our month, of birth. In Swedenborg's case, his birth month is January, which corresponds to the number one, highlighting a pioneering period in his life. It was during this time that he studied geology, botany, zoology, and mechanical sciences. It was also when he wrote his scientific and technical works, which included his inventions and theories on physics and algebra.

Our middle years get ruled by our day of birth. Swedenborg's day of birth is the 29th, which reduces to the number >two, and bestows a socially diplomatic influence. During that time, he met Sweden’s King Charles XII (1682–1718) and his sister Ulrika Eleonora (1688–1741) who in 1719, ennobled his family, changing their name from Swedberg to Swedenborg.

This name change for the family was a life-altering influence, particularly for Emanuel Swedenborg. It changed the life-expression of his full name from 6 4 1, which indicate caring, but highly independent person, to a 3 9 3, signifying love and the desire to express it as a feeling. The number three in The Tarot, by Paul Foster Case is the Luminous Intelligence, to indicate the radiating aspect of the feeling of love.

In Numerology, we cannot begin to contribute to society in any meaningful way until after six cycles of nine, after the age of fifty-four. Until that point, we are too full-of-ourselves, overly self-centered. It was at that time when Swedenborg had his spiritual feelings awakened, He began to attune to an intuitive source within, the beginning of his visionary period that greatly influenced the world.

The latter part of our life gets ruled by our year of birth. Swedenborg's year of birth reduces to the number five, which imparts a willful influence. It is best expressed by traveling and trying new things. Spiritually, it signifies the power of the Will to-do-good. This is intriguing considering the number five signifies remains (5291); and they represent the feeling of love, as the means of communicating with heaven.

This book intends to follow the same spiritual path that Swedenborg took, through the realm of the affection of love. By developing our intuition, we too will arrive at the same goal, and to personally experience an influx of conjugial love.

Conjugial love, is a term Swedenborg uses to describe the Essential Love. It is through the direct experience of perceiving a spiritual influx of conjugial love flowing through our body that we are then able to communicate with heaven.

Essentially, this communication is not difficult if we think of the Divine as the feeling of conjugial love. A personal conjugial love experience is the verification of that feeling as a cognitive knowing. The sensation of knowing is the esoteric signal to the subconscious mind to begin the cellular transformation that will enable us to communicate with heaven.

The oft-misunderstood quote: a little knowledge is a dangerous thing holds an important secret: do not make the same mistake and pretend that you can perceive conjugial love without actually having the spiritual experience. When biblical Christians revealed their secrets, they were fed to the lions. It was because their oppressors could not feel the same depth of love as they did. By pretending that you can feel conjugial love when you cannot, tells your own subconscious mind to also just make-believe. Therefore, it does nothing, and you will forever be waiting for your own cellular transformation.

Sorrowfully, because of the sensation that falsity causes in our own body when we are dishonest with ourselves, we can never know the true feeling of conjugial love. The experience of conjugial love is through the spiritual feeling of innocence, void of the twisted sensations that falsity causes.

Swedenborg said that a new church arises. Yet, he also said that it would be a different church, based on the inner knowing. Consequently, the falsity will eventually burn itself out. It is the result of just pretending to be able to feel conjugial love. The entire battle of man against man was the result of hiding this knowledge of the spiritual feeling of conjugial love.

Therefore, I can see the New Church as being the true feeling of love, coming through the subconscious mind. This will enable each of us to feel a direct conjugial love experience for ourselves. Thereby, to truly feel mutual love for all of humanity.

This was Swedenborg's vision for the Aquarian Age: the repatriation of the feeling of Conjugial love. Not another religion, not another building as a church — but a feeling as the affection of conjugial love, as mutual-love on earth.

Ten Spiritual Exercises

The evolution of Conjugial love, from a celestial feeling of spiritual light into physicality as a sensual affection encompasses a multitude of complexities. This book contains ten exercises to help experience those complexities. They are the layers of sensual-love that together make up the pure affection of a conjugial love experience. However, to perceive its celestial purity as a sensual affection, one must first remove the layers of misconceptions regarding the sexual feeling of self-love.

The ten spiritual exercises are layers, or different sensations of love. When layered one upon the other in a particular order, the result is a blissful feeling. If you are unable to complete one of the ten exercises, put it aside while you keep practicing. Eventually you will experience that particular love-sensation, because conjugial love is an expanding living feeling based on the layering of all ten of the different sensations of sensual-love.

Ancient wisdom has taught this knowledge of layering. The Divine Name translated as the Lord in the Bible, and Jehovah in the revised versions gets designated by various names, such as the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Thus, each name has its own separate spiritual feeling as a layer of the One.

Nevertheless, humankind's outward search for this secret knowledge has led us astray. Our search will be inner, for the spiritual feeling of conjugial love. It is composed of layers of different affections, and of being loved in return.

The reason I am writing this tell-all book that includes the ten spiritual steps is that I wish someone had told me earlier in life. For when these ten exercises get practiced as a sensual rhythm, they attune us to the blissful feeling of conjugial love within.

It is important to experience the sensual affection of each one of the ten balancing exercises to perceive the totality of the spiritual feeling of conjugial love. It is in the act of doing each exercise in their order, which transforms our sense-of-self as our ego to perceive beyond our personal feeling, and to live spiritually.

Ten Spiritual Exercises:

1) Separation from the Ego

2) Recognizing Self-Love

3) The Holy Supper

4) The Virgin Birth

5) 42-Days of Sexual Abstinence

6) Heavenly Essence

7) Reflection, a Mirror Perspective

8) Acting As If

9) The Sabbath: Equilibrium Within

10) Adoration Praying ; Humiliation Prayer

Acknowledgment

I am eternally grateful to my wise friend, Kasandra, for her insightful influence and companionship during my midlife crisis, when she sensed my inner suffering, and handed me the following quotation by Keen.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,

The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;

For I will be with thee thy troubles to bless

And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

Kasandra was the Western representative for Information Swedenborg, Canada. She first introduced me to Swedenborg's writings with his quotation God is Love, and from that moment on, we began a back and forth intellectual exchange that continued three hours a day for the next fifteen years.

Kasandra affected me deeply as a friend, and through our mutual love of Swedenborg’s writings, we shared our deepest concepts of what God could be. It was a comforting theology at a time when there were no answers to what I was experiencing.

Kasandra's love for God brought me much peace and understanding as I struggled to make sense of my own overtly religious spiritual experiences happening to me at that time.

Swedenborg wrote the quote God is Love over two-hundred and fifty years ago. Yet, it was Kasandra who helped me to get comfortable enough with religion so that I could expand on Swedenborg’s spiritual concepts from an esoteric perspective. I was often guided by his visitations through his theological writings.

Although Emanuel appeared to me in my dreams and wanted me to write a book about my personal spiritual experiences, it was Kasandra who always encouraged me to be myself when it came to the topic of religion. The seemingly unimportant personal stories used to explain Swedenborg's religious concepts, are in the hope that you will find a similar narrative in your own life. Thereby, be able to perceive the Divine as the feeling of conjugial love more easily.

The Preface

Swedenborg's writings were my anti-depressant medication during my midlife crisis. How a person with my background — having had no traditional religious education and raised by a single parent, non-believer Mother — could ever have been introduced to Swedenborg's spiritual writings was only by a miracle.

My peers were all drugged or drunks, and most of them materialistic and angry. The wild birds were my true friends. They would follow me on my runs, and occasionally land on my windowsill to encourage me in my quest for truth. I can hear them talk to me now from miles away. They helped me to open my inner hearing. Yet, Swedenborg's writings brought acceptance to that bird-level awareness of knowing.

Swedenborg's writings also brought order, logic, and reason to my life. His was a sensible religion, in the sense that it awakened new feelings within me. It was his religion, but he allowed me to understand and interpret it in my own New Age way.

The only caution with having your mind fried with spiritual knowledge is to stay grounded and not be led-astray or confused while the inner world gets revealed. It was revealed to me, first through outside forces, such as the birds, and then through the synchronicity that happened everywhere in the little things. Only later was the inner world revealed through my dreams and visions.

OEBPS/images/image0004.jpg My first vision happened in my living room at two o'clock in the afternoon. It was a vision of a tall, glowing white Guardian Angel. Just the feeling of its Presence brought me to my knees crying and kissing its feet. It was the first of many visions. Although, I do not know what this vision was, I think that it might have been what is described as seeing the burning bush. This is because it created in me a burning desire to be a better person.

Any other person would probably have been diagnosed as a mental patient as I would have been if I had ever tried to describe any of my visions to a doctor. Just mentioning the idea of seeing God, would have had me committed. Over time, I changed the terminology as I understood the experience more fully: it evolved from I saw Jesus, to the Guardian Angel.

During that time, I knew that my logical mind could not understand or interpret correctly the visions that I perceived. Although, it may have been a hallucination, and I was crazy, I did not tell a doctor. Had I done so, I am sure that I would have become another statistic, one of the many millions prescribed anti-depressant medication for feelings of unhappiness. Then, I may have missed my own enlightenment experience, something meant to happen to everyone during the middle years of our life.

It has taken me twenty-five years to understand the visions and the feelings I experienced when I turned forty. I do not think that I would have interpreted any of my visions, which changed me for the better, unless I had understood them as I do today, as spiritual experiences, and not as a mental disorder. I should note that I wrote a cookbook about seaweed and lost most of my friends in the process — so imagine telling a doctor that I thought I saw God.

I felt that I could talk to Swedenborg through his writings, and that I understood him differently than most people. This is because of my understanding of Numerology and knowledge of numbers from a spiritual perspective. Everything about Swedenborg's life captivated me. I was interested in everything from the spelling of his name, to his family’s name-change and the feelings associated with this process. I, too, felt different after I changed my name.

Similarly, when my friends got married and changed their names, I noticed how they too became different: I could see the spiritual influences of the new numbers in their lives. I could see how a numerically difficult name, being popularized by a movie star, could create a whole generation of extreme egotists. I could also see how thinking a certain way about yourself can change how you appear to others. Now, I understand why the disciples got new names — they felt different inside.

My wise friend Kasandra once said to me, look at that person over there. I answered, yes? She replied, "No, really look at them, because that, is how they feel about themselves." This new awareness of the spiritual feeling of numbers and their correspondences allowed me to better understand and accept others. Not to necessarily like them. That came later with the opening of my heart, a process that involved much inner searching for the feeling of the soul.

Swedenborg's writings taught me the spiritual meaning of planets, personal desires, and personality traits. I am an Astrologer, and his extensive work on these subjects had even a deeper meaning. This is because the Divine appeared to him as the Sun, signifying celestial and spiritual love, the light of the Sun is its Wisdom, and the heat of the Sun is its Love. Just knowing that about the Sun means the spiritual feeling of love, can animate us into being more than just human.

I soon understood that it was our personal response to an influx of spiritual love that determined whether our life here on earth felt as heaven or hell. I began to imagine my own physical body as spiritual light. By symbolically imitating the feeling of the Sun, I too could become a radiating center of spiritual light, a flame of the vivified burning bush. Thereafter, I began to feel better about my life.

Swedenborg's orderly approach to writing had an immense effect on my own thinking. Yet, my personal skepticism constantly looked for errors or inconsistencies in his writings, like how one can tell when something does not add up with numbers. Well, with Swedenborg's writings, everything adds up to the spiritual feeling of one glorious vibrating whole number.

The spiritual realm contained in Swedenborg's writings helped me find explanations to things not spoken about in our society such as sex and death. When several friends of mine died too young, it was his philosophy that allowed me to see the workings of faith, when love appeared all around me as a spiritual feeling. I learned to project that feeling of spiritual love at times when I felt as though I could not possibly make another depressing hospital visit. I had the sense of being able to radiate that luminous feeling of love, out like the Sun, which helped me be less uncertain.

Although, Swedenborg kept his personal life somewhat secret, his writings revealed to me the feelings that he must have experienced in order for him to have witnessed the spiritual realm. This led to a conscious freeing of my own creative energy as it developed into a source of concentration that grew.

Concentration, is needed to understand both Swedenborg and the feeling of the inner spiritual realm, and to accept the hugely disparaging, apparent disorder of the outer world.

I would like to note that I have never been happy being in a physical body. I could not understand why I was alive, as it felt to be a great punishment. To me, this was the most important question that I had to find an answer to, before I could ever be happy. Most of my friends seemed to love life, or at least pretended to. Yet, when I outlived them all, I felt that too was a punishment.

Physical existence is like that, but a spiritual life, actually is reversed, which has helped me understand that as we become more spiritually responsive, we are also more sensitive to the collective suffering with others. As human beings, we can never be spiritually content as individuals until everyone else is happy first.

If starvation and poverty is a collective cry from the Divine for charity, why can we not hear it? Humankind is at the phase where greed and ownership is making us more insular. Yet, we really cannot own anything, certainly not our spiritual feeling of