Praise for Bone Broth

After reading five pages of Bone Broth, I thought, I know these women--Justine, Bev, and Myrtle. They could have been a dozen of former classmates at my 50th Vashon High School reunion who were still playfully fussing, fighting, and fawning over the good old days in the Pruitt-Igoe housing project. They were among a different breed of naysayers: those who prided themselves on being part of the first batch of blacks to move from the chaos and crime that mostly defined the inner city and settled in one of the safer districts of North St. Louis County. One of those districts being Ferguson, Missouri, known for the protests after the tragic death of teenager Michael Brown.

This novel's relationships reflect a kaleidoscope of colors and patterns that change a close-knit family and an almost-family over time. Husbands, wives, children, best friends, and lovers struggle to reevaluate long-held beliefs and life decisions.

Ellis ably reveals painful family secrets and generational trauma that unfolds during and between two racially charged periods in St. Louis history. She draws parallels between a mother's foray into activism in the early 1970s and a daughter's immersion into grassroots organizing in the Bay Area in the 2000s. After the daughter Raynah's 20-year absence from her hometown, She was left fighting to reconcile two pasts, two regions, two worlds.

—Vivian Gibson, The Last Children of Mill Creek

Lyndsey Ellis's beautiful debut novel, Bone Broth, is a heartfelt and moving portrait of a family riven by secrets and lies and the weight of history and legacy. Set in a volatile Louisiana, this emotionally rich novel skillfully dives into class and race and desolation and redemption through the siblings Raynah, Theo and Lois, their mother Justine, and their various homes and what and who they see as home. Ellis has a keen eye for the ties that break, and bind, be they family or friendships. Bone Broth is a complicated novel about complicated times and one readers will find unputdownable."

—Soniah Kamal, author of Unmarriageable

Set in the aftermath of the Michael Brown protests in Ferguson, Bone Broth follows the lives of Justine, a newly widowed woman, who despite seeing an end to a marriage that was rather complicated (they lived apart), is still struggling with the next stage in her life. She has three kids who have distanced themselves in various ways and are struggling with their own losses. When her eldest daughter Raynah starts a social justice museum, she uncovers a secret about her mother that calls into question everything she’s believed about her family. Ellis has written an absorbing and nuanced family drama, packed with St. Louis details and unforgettable characters. Bone Broth highlights the burdens of racism over generations and the resulting trauma that can ensue, and how activism, while vital, can lead to burnout with its own lasting scars.

—Daniel Goldin, Boswell Book Company, Milwaukee, WI

Copyright © 2021 by Lyndsey Ellis

All rights reserved. Except in brief quotations in critical articles or reviews, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, without prior written permission from the publisher.

Hidden Timber Books

6650 West State Street, #D98 Milwaukee, WI 53213

hiddentimberbooks.com

Publisher’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination. Locales and public names are sometimes used as historical reference. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is completely coincidental.

Cover Design by Jade Burel @ jadethedesigner.com

Book Layout: Morrison © 2017 BookDesignTemplates.com

BONE BROTH/ Lyndsey Ellis. — 1st ed.

ISBN 978-0-9906530-3-5

ISBN 978-0-9906530-9-7 (e-book)

For Us.

The struggle is eternal. The tribe increase.

Somebody else carries on.

—ELLA BAKER

CONTENTS

PART I

JUSTINE

RAYNAH

LOIS

THEO

PART II

JUSTINE

RAYNAH

LOIS

THEO

PART III

JUSTINE

RAYNAH

LOIS

THEO

PART IV

JUSTINE

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Part I

Justine

Frank looked pretty in his casket. Suit creased. Hair conked. Rings shining.

In the church, the organ’s throaty hum clashed with the sound of a helicopter chopping through the air outside. Justine pushed down her disgust at the idea of another protest headed for disaster on the streets. She followed the long line of people chirping their approval for Frank as they viewed his body. She ran a gloved hand over the front of her childhood friend’s obituary, a photo of a much leaner, younger, and mustached—but equally handsome and fashionable—Frank.

Justine reread the words underneath the picture:

Franklin Obadiah Crawford

Sunrise: April 8th, 1949—Sunset: September 1st, 2014

Light & Abundance Missionary Baptist Church

St. Louis, Missouri

Sharp, ain’t he? Bev smiled and rubbed the casket’s shiny wooden edge.

Justine grimaced. Looks a little pale to me.

Quit lying. You would’ve never known anything was wrong with him.

Justine ignored her best friend. She fanned herself with the obituary and dabbed her flaming face with a handkerchief. In the hour they’d been at Frank’s funeral, the sanctuary had turned into an oven.

A blanket of heat rushed over Justine—through her pantyhose, up her girdle, and forcing itself into all her pores.

Forget hot flashes, she thought. Maybe it was actually happening. Maybe she was being burned alive, from the inside out, in front of everyone, for her own good. A grim but deserving price to pay for the death of her husband last month.

Justine knew she wasn’t completely responsible for what happened with Wesley. He wanted it, and made her want it too. But how could she prove that? What could she say for herself? My husband ordered me to help kill him, so I did? Her defense sounded weak and bizarre. Even Wesley wouldn’t have believed her, if he hadn’t done what he did.

The truth was absurd. Justine hadn’t told a soul. Definitely not her kids. Not even Bev.

It made more sense to create a new truth. A few weeks after Wesley’s funeral, Justine started stealing from the funerals of dead folks—some she knew, but mostly those she didn’t—not to be sordid or cruel, but because she wanted to recreate her past with truths that came from other people’s past.

The helicopter outside sounded like it was about to land on the church’s roof, its angry blades were thrashing so loud. Chaos ruled these days. People getting shot. Do-gooder protests. Reality TV. Fake meat. Not that things were perfect years ago, but Justine wasn’t getting any younger. It wore on her to keep up now. Caring too much and trying to understand everything exhausted her. She’d done enough caring and understanding, only to end up here: at this funeral, her own husband dead, with memories strong enough to set her on fire if she didn’t take control.

Scratch my back, Justine told Bev. She wiggled, trying to get the itch out of her shapewear.

No, Bev said. Hurry up and get what you need so we can go. It’s hot as hell in here.

Behind them, a man loudly cleared his throat as if in agreement. Justine faked a sniffle and wiped the corners of her eyes to buy his sympathy and more time.

There was a thrill to it, being a funeral thief. Dead folks couldn’t fight back. The real damage would come from the families of the deceased if they found out, which was why Justine had remained careful and choosy until now. She’d foolishly asked Bev to bring her to see Frank in exchange for her promise to visit an elders’ support group for grieving spouses. Now, they were both admiring the good looks of a corpse Justine was preparing to steal from; the body of a man whose past had once been tied to her past. The same man who had been claimed by a stroke just weeks after offering his condolences for Wesley’s passing.

She scanned Frank again. He looked like he was sweating. On his temples sat tiny beads of fluid, shiny and bold as fruit flies on a freshly baked cherry pie.

Justine never saw a corpse sweat before. She wondered if her nerves had her imagining things. Maybe the moisture on Frank was a bad reaction to the embalming chemicals. But then, why would dead bodies be allergic to anything?

The idea got Justine remembering them all as kids living in the Pruitt-Igoe housing project, something she did more often now that Wesley was dead. Frank was a spirited boy who came to St. Louis with his mother and grandmother from some town in Alabama. He always had a smile on his face, with dimples that cut into his cheeks, and he was fiercely energetic. But he was also a runt—a twelve-year-old stuck in a seven-year-old’s frame, with bones not quite strong enough to handle the body slams and choke holds from Wesley, his best friend Beans, and their crew when they had wrestling matches. But the boys took Frank into the fold, mostly because they could weasel him out of his lunch money, and teased him for his smallness and his pretty-boy appeal.

Once after getting roughed up, Frank started playing with Justine, Bev, and some of their girlfriends when they were still allowed to hang out in the back of the building after school. And that’s when he tried to kiss Justine, before she pushed him into a bush full of poison ivy. His arms immediately got so swollen, red, and welted, and they all spent the rest of the afternoon dousing him with water from a nearby hose.

Justine fanned Frank with his obituary, real tears coming to her eyes. This was why she preferred the funerals of strangers: they required less feeling, which kept her from getting sloppy.

Wesley would’ve said it was a dumb move—even for a woman—to drop in on Frank’s service, but how could she not attend? Besides Bev, Frank had been the only person from their childhood who Justine cared to keep up with after life had scattered them in different directions.

Everyone else she knew from those days was either dead, crazy, relocated, or worse: they were showing up at annual family resident reunions where, as Wesley put it, some folks were fool enough to celebrate the time they spent being miserable together in Pruitt-Igoe.

Bev cleared her throat, echoing the man behind them. Justine decided on one of Frank’s cufflinks—the one thing that would hold together the fabric of that day with Frank and the water hose in her mind. Seeing them all together again as carefree kids, still sheltered from the world’s woes.

Justine leaned into the casket to whisper her last goodbye. She touched Frank’s hand, which was surprisingly cool, and with one quick tug, pulled off the gold piece.

*

The next day brought clear skies and no traffic, but the outskirts of downtown St. Louis looked like a bad thrift store. Broken shopping carts, vagrants’ clothes, and abandoned flyers from another protest littered the sidewalks.

This was a bad idea. Bev’s bribe. The elders’ bereavement group. Wesley, if he was still living, didn’t need to assure Justine this whole plan was a mess, although she knew he would.

She checked to make sure Bev’s car doors were locked. What terrified Justine most was that there was no way out. She was here now. Trapped, looking at used condoms and different colored hair extensions and scribblings of NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE! on cardboard signs scattered across the pavement.

As they drove around another pothole, Justine fantasized about jumping out of Bev’s station wagon. Bev took the backstreets and rode the brakes, so Justine figured, even at her age, she wouldn’t suffer much past a skinned knee, maybe a dislocated hip. She’d seen enough action films to know she just needed to roll and protect her head.

Don’t try anything stupid, warned Bev.

Too late, Justine said, I’m already with you.

They approached Tender Mercies Center for Elders’ Independence. The midmorning breeze, already plagued with humidity, tickled Justine’s forehead under her newly styled bangs. Letting Bev give her a haircut was the only highlight of this whole deal. The bangs brought life to Justine’s face, as Bev claimed they would, especially since Justine still refused to wear makeup.

Once they parked, Bev turned off the engine and fiddled with the ends of her neck-length burgundy wig, twisting it this way and that. Do me a favor, Justine. Lighten up. Stop being so damn critical for once in your life.

Justine grunted. Critical? Do you see where we are? You brought us to this war zone and you expect me to relax.

Stop exaggerating. We’ve lived through worse. Bev opened a tube of Vaseline lotion and glazed her hands with the moisturizer. You promised, remember? I got you to Frank’s funeral yesterday so you could do your little stealing—

It’s not stealing, said Justine. The man’s dead.

I don’t give a shit what you say. It’s stealing, and you know it, and it’s a wonder no one’s caught you yet. This’ll help. Trust me.

Justine sighed, resisting the urge to argue. Every day, it became more clear why she’d made the right decision by not confiding in Bev about what happened to Wesley. Justine could almost hear her husband in her ear, insisting the only way a word of anything ever got out was because Bev couldn’t keep her mouth shut. As much as she hated the way Wesley grumbled about everything Bev did when he was alive, Justine knew he was always right about that point.

You better not steal from my funeral, Bev told Justine. I’ll come back to haunt your ass.

They walked toward a large building that was shabby on the outside with rusty wind chimes and an unraveling welcome mat at the door. Once inside, Bev linked her arm through Justine’s and tightened her grip until Justine could feel their bones rubbing together. They took the elevator to the twelfth floor and stepped into a lobby that was too bright and colorful, like a daycare, but with cheap and ratty carpet. Supermarket music played in the background.

In the hallway, the walls were lined with staged photos of smiling senior citizens in cardigans. Again, Justine thought of Wesley and knew he’d say she was plain stupid for letting Bev drag her to this place.

Good Lord, she muttered, these people are old.

It’s an elders’ center, said Bev. We’re old, too.

Justine recalled when Ms. Jenkins, the widow who lived next door to Bev in Pruitt-Igoe, got stuck in her hallway’s pile of burning trash. Someone on their floor, Justine couldn’t remember who, called the fire department, but the neighborhood hoodlums drove them away by hurling bricks and bottles at them from the building’s roof. The closest fire extinguishers were gone or broken, so Bev and her aunt beat out the fire with blankets and drove poor Ms. Jenkins to the hospital, where she later died from her burns.

Thinking back, Justine wondered about Ms. Jenkins’s age when she made her transition. Her guess was the woman was old, but not really that old. Justine and Bev were just teenagers at the time, not realizing there were levels of old. To them, everyone with gray hair in Pruitt-Igoe was feeble, luckless, or just plain invisible. Justine never imagined that one day, she’d fall into the same category.

In the elders’ center, they neared a conference room with its blinds drawn. Justine grimaced at a poster that read HANDS UP DON’T SHOOT on the closed door. Underneath it, a white board read KNOCKING IS FOR STRANGERS. YOU’RE AMONG FRIENDS. COME IN.

As soon as Bev opened the door, they were hit with a chorus of hellos from people standing in a buffet line. A large conference table swallowed the center of the room, surrounded by chipped oak chairs and paintings of fruit bowls and flower gardens. Water marks looked like a dried-up river on the ceiling, and dusty windows overlooked Laclede’s Landing. From where Justine stood, the Gateway Arch was nothing more than a tiny slab of metal bent over a pool of mud, broccoli-head treetops, and toylike buildings.

She studied the group of participants—both men and women, different ethnicities, all looking over seventy—hovering over the open pots. Her stomach curled around the smell of hash browns and strong coffee as steam rose from their plates piled high with food.

Why aren’t you eating, darling? A potbellied white man nodded at Justine and took a seat across from her at the conference table. His cheeks were big and red, like tomato stains on his face.

Leave her alone, Phil. The dark-skinned woman sitting next to him took a swig of her coffee. She wore glitter eyeshadow. Bright pink lipstick spread over her teeth when she smiled. I’m Ingrid, she told Justine. Folks call me Grit.

A short Hispanic woman in flower-print culottes with bleach stains waved at Justine from the far end of the table. And my name’s Rachel Beth. Folks call me Rachel Beth.

Her face was as much golden as it was wrinkled, like the skin of fried chicken. She rushed over to Justine and extended her hand with childlike excitement.

This is Coconut, the sock monkey. Rachel Beth shoved her faded striped toy at Justine. It was missing an eye and wearing pants that matched its owner’s, minus the bleach spots. Justine pushed the toy away and shut down Wesley’s voice in her head telling her to spit on it.

You better grab a plate before we start, Grit said. Ain’t no food like free food.

I don’t eat everybody’s cooking, Justine told her. She crossed her legs, meaning for it to be the period in her sentence.

Nice seeing you two again, Bev said to Grit and Rachel Beth as she sat next Justine. This right here’s my best friend, Justine Holmes.

And who are you? Phil asked Bev.

Justine snorted into Bev’s ear. Bev ignored her, but Justine knew she felt silly, learning she wasn’t as remembered as she thought she was.

Beverly Thompson, she said. I know it’s been some time, but I’m glad to be back. I’m one of those with the runaway spouses. Guess you could assume he’s dead now; nobody’s heard from Beans in over three decades. My heart still aches, though, and nobody knows that kind of hell better than the folks in this bereavement group.

Honey, I know what you mean, Grit chimed in. It’s hard losing a husband. I lost four and each took a piece of my heart with them.

Justine mumbled her apologies, hoping Grit would go away, but she kept yapping about how the Lord was her man now. Her savior this and her savior that.

The woman’s talk and gaudy way she was put together struck Justine as what she must’ve looked like to some women she’d met in the spring of ’71. She and Wesley had moved from Pruitt-Igoe to North St. Louis County with the money Wesley had been saving since ’67 from his factory job. At the time, most of Justine’s family and friends from her old neighborhood didn’t have cars to drive into the secluded suburb to come see her. With the exception of Myrtle across the street, all of Justine’s new neighbors were white, and there were no Black churches, or clubs, or any gathering places in the area. She took to Myrtle more quickly than she expected, but the woman was a bit of a wild card whose time was mostly spent caring for her gardens and the sassafras tree behind her house, or tending to her pregnant, unruly teenage daughter, Dani.

Justine grew lonely and bored with Wesley working all the time, and when she discovered she too was pregnant, her isolation swelled to a dangerous level. She searched the classified ads section in Wesley’s newspapers after he left each morning. What Justine was looking for, she hadn’t really known. Wesley had been insistent that no wife of his would step foot in any workplace as long as he was breathing and able-bodied, so finding a job was out of the question.

Justine soon stumbled on an ad about a Black women’s tea and bridge club that met twice weekly just one street over from hers. The next day, she found herself in a living room among three other women in their early twenties, all clad in silk pleated dresses and matching designer jewelry.

Sonya, the hostess, was fair-skinned with a fashion model’s long neck. She had straight teeth and thick black eyebrows. The hair on her head was dyed blonde and so wavy, it looked like packs of dried ramen noodles floating above her shoulders. Within ten minutes of being in Sonya’s house, Justine learned the woman’s husband