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    Soulsplitting: Volume Iv
    Soulsplitting: Volume Iv
    Soulsplitting: Volume Iv
    Ebook154 pages1 hour

    Soulsplitting: Volume Iv

    By Leroy Flemming

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    About this ebook

    Contemplation Letter From LeRoy

    We have exited volume four and it is my hope that you as the reader can see that you have to step out in front of your life. As you look back on your life as I have, you must see that you have been the one holding yourself back for your dreams and goals. It is you, just like it was and is me holding onto an invisible chain of defeat. When I lost my mom, I could not get on with what I wanted to do, but when the writings started, I could feel the release of pain. She did all she could for her children to make sure we had the basics. I wanted so much to repay her for that but success for me was hard, but I hope you don?t make the mistakes I made to get your dreams or goals off the ground. With the cover of volume, I began to see that I was remaking me?making myself into the man I wanted my mom to see. I needed to know that it is ok to cry when you lose someone. It is ok to say you are lost and need GOD to assist you to get you back on the journey you set out to do, but most of all it is ok to forgive yourself if you don?t get there. I now look at my journey as a spiritual quest with the same goals and dreams. I had to step beyond my pain and take the ?first step? to completing those things I told her I would do. As you review the covers and the back of the books, I want you to see that this is a journey we all take and along the way people come to meet you and want to assist in your travels. To Leo for giving the pictures to jump start the back of the book and the one on the back of this book to assist me in showing you life will always be filled with things you can not explain. To Connie for sharing what is and will always be apart of her SOUL and showing the world that our journey is the same?love is the merging of the SOUL with the life you live. I hope you all enjoyed this volume and I will bring the final installment to the world in 2015. Thank you in advance for going this far in with me.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherXlibris US
    Release dateJan 9, 2015
    ISBN9781503526242
    Soulsplitting: Volume Iv
    Author

    Leroy Flemming

    LeRoy is a graduate of Alabama State University an HBCU in Montgomery, Alabama. He received his bachelor of science degree in business management. He started writing pieces in 2000 when his mother passed away. He tells us that if it had not been for these pieces he may not have had any peace with such a tragic loss in his life. He often finds his spirit struggling with a question his brother James left him with before their mother passed. He asked over the phone: “What if something happen to mom and you don’t make it back in time? LeRoy’s answer was: “I will make it man I’m not that far away.” He didn’t make it there in time and these writings are his way of reflecting back, thinking forward in his present moments. He does not want you to cry for him. He just wants us all to make the most of the life we live by spending time with the ones we love and some time alone thinking about what our lives really mean.

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      Book preview

      Soulsplitting - Leroy Flemming

      Copyright © 2015 by LeRoy Flemming.

      ISBN:      Softcover   978-1-5035-2623-5

                      eBook         978-1-5035-2624-2

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

      Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

      Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

      Rev. date: 01/07/2015

      Xlibris

      1-888-795-4274

      www.Xlibris.com

      603808

      Table of Contents

      A Young Person Going Down

      Lay It All Out Here

      How Can You

      When Heaven Opens Up

      Something To Sell

      Duck Out Spot

      24 Minutes

      I Try To Understand GOD

      Waiting On Her

      In Flight

      The Spigot

      The Final Chapter

      On The Flip Side

      Walking This Planet

      Something New

      Outside Of The World

      Sex Game For You

      That Club Thang

      A Spoon

      I’m Not Worried

      Subtle

      Lady

      Perseverance

      Solitude

      When Man Prays

      Sex, Love, and Freedom

      Killing Them Softly With GOD’S Word

      Exploration

      Helium Cage

      Love From Afar

      Dedication

      Here is volume IV, the transformation stage. This is where the images on the cover of the book shows the moment I took control of my life with all its pain, loss, joy, and dreams. As I began this journey into writing, I could not understand why I was writing at an intense rate. I knew I had pain, I knew I was behind on my dream, and I knew my mother was gone. These writings were coming from all around me—from inside of me and this was allowing my mind to be free. In the midst of this, I felt that I needed to gain control but I couldn’t. I had to allow whatever I was feeling spiritually to run its course.

      One day I was writing a piece and I was allowing the piece to develop to its conclusion. I began to feel a calmness coming through me. It was something I could not explain. Internally it was a good feeling I must say. Since the writing began, I have lifted the mental pain from my SOUL. I have come to realize that no matter life circumstances you have control over your life. Sometimes it may not appear that way while you are listening to the ones around you, but when you have quite time, you will see a glimpse of it. There were people trying to help me, although they meant well, I was in a place where their words held no value. The words they used had no meaning to what I was going through, but that quite time did have a healing—internally that harmonized my life with the world I had to deal with, without my mother here to offer the comfort only a mother could. This is what happen to me! I dedicate volume four to the quite side of life. Travel through this life and do your duty to chase your dream, never give up on what you see your life being, when it gets to a point where there is too much noise give into quite time and allow quiteness to speak to your life.

      Acknowledgment

      I want to acknowledge the process of life. There is no mortal that can side step it, go around it, or avoid it. The beauty of the process is spiritual with one major caution: You have to control what you want to be. Take the time to reflect back on when, how, and why you were born. Your human family mission was to take care of you, but their lives have conditions before you arrived. You did not know any of this as an infant—all you know is you are here now and you need love. You get older and you must find your way. No one told you, your mountains would arrive soon. You must recall what was taught to you. Your home may have been whole. It could have been broken, nonetheless your life is before you. You have to walk your path to see who you are. You must live with what you do. It was done by you and those action can not be undone. You have to remember that our world is filled with forgiveness. You and I must forgive ourselves as we proceed with living a productive and meaningful life. Finally, you are at the age where there is understanding. You are able to teach others about the journey of life. You tell them—they will smile, laugh, cry, have pain, and there is a point you die, so you must live your life finding out who you are and you must give this portion of your life a huge focus. To life, I love your steps. I am grateful to be here to see all this beauty. I know this process is for all things, but most of all this is for the spiritually thinking man.

      Connie’s Page

      Dating

      When Alyssa died, I was not sure what to call her boyfriend when I was talking with someone, do I call him her boyfriend, her ex-boyfriend, what do I say? When I lost Alyssa, sometimes question may come up like how many children do you have? I learned to say I have three, a fifteen year old daughter that passed away from a car accident. Even filling out paperwork, I write I have three children. I have learned that how you are? is just common words on a daily basis. I remember someone at my job asked me how are you and I just went off and said what I was feeling, I’m a mess, I can’t sleep, I cry all the time, I miss my daughter very much, my heart hurts, I can’t function, I am numb, and so forth, the girl was at a lost for words and did not know what to say. A friend of mine—her son passed away and I caught myself saying, how are you?" I then realized thinking back to that day how common those words were, but I knew how my friend felt.

      Every 5th of every month, Alyssa’s friends and I would get together at my house, eat, sit around talk about—not always—about Alyssa, watch a movie, or play a game of pool. Alyssa’s boyfriend would come over. I knew there would come a day that he would start dating. I just didn’t think it would be so soon. Rumor had it he was dating her, funny they both came to my house Alyssa’s boyfriend and someone Alyssa knew. The girl was very nice and

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