The Life Sentence of a Six-Year-Old
By Steve Logan
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The Life Sentence of a Six-Year-Old - Steve Logan
CHAPTER ONE
THE EARLY YEARS
You better sit down, because what I’m about to tell you won’t seem real or possible. It would shock Ozzie and Harriet and most social workers. In 1956, I was a six-year-old who didn’t know anything about anybody called father.
Never saw one. Never had one. Hell, I didn’t know what one was. Up till I was six, my world was my mother, sister, and grandmother. And they were always busy coming and going. I was like a mannequin that occasionally got hungry.
It was summer, and in a couple of months, I’d be going into first grade. Yet, there were two things I had never heard or known: one, I love you,
and two, my last name! That was about to change.
As a six-year-old, what do you know about life? Love? Family? What you see on TV? What your friends say? How the family next door lives? Of course. Your environment makes more than an impression. It becomes your life, good or bad. And where is an environment most effective? Home. Family. And ultimately, parents! My life was about to change in the summer of ’56 with the introduction of this person called father.
My mother was getting remarried. I never knew my real father. Given Mother’s model looks and her Marilyn Monroe likeness, she could have the pick of the litter, the cream of the crop. But apparently, being an attractive blonde precluded her from making good decisions about men. As she would later tell me, this was the worst decision she ever made.
But it was easy to see her attraction. It’s often the same as with men. Physical. Six foot, two hundred twenty pounds, and built like the proverbial outhouse. To a scrawny little kid, he was Mr. Atlas. And, as if his daunting appearance wasn’t enough, he had a stare that could freeze your body and mind. Instantly, I recognized where I’d seen it before: staring at me through the bars of a lion’s cage at the local zoo. His look was as cold and deadly as the lion’s stare as it stalked its prey. Projecting death, unemotional, and absolutely fearless. They both showed the same approach to life.
My first introduction to the lion’s idea of being a helpful, loving, caring father was learning a last name. It couldn’t have been Smith or Jones. That would have been too easy. No, for this frightened little boy of six, learning a last name was a challenge. One made even more daunting by the scornful presence of the lion eyeing my progress. I had a problem getting the letters au
in the right order. They were in the middle part of my new last name, and, for some odd reason, I was frequently reversing them, much to the lion’s