Shackled

R.D. Pryor

Copyright © 2018 R.D. Pryor

All rights reserved

First Edition

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc

Meadville, PA

First originally published by Christian Faith Publishing, Inc 2018

ISBN 978-1-64299-940-2 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64349-535-4 (Hardcover)

ISBN 978-1-64299-941-9 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Dedication

This has been a long journey for me to become free of the shackles that had me bound. I have overcome a lot of things during this process of releasing my mind from my past circumstances. I never had anyone that would tell me that I didn’t need to allow my past to predict my future until I started my journey of Christianity. It wasn’t until I met my Mother-in-Law Roberta Pryor who helped me to let go and let God. She taught me that I didn’t need to always look back on my past to see what happened before I had made decision in this current stage of life. I overcame with her guidance that everything is not based on my analytical mind. I started to see that if I continue to analyze everything I will continue to set myself up for failure because everything in God can’t be predicted based on statistical data. She showed me how to pray about it and allow for the Holy Spirit to show me the true way to move forward.

At first this was hard for me because I never really had any guidance and I didn’t know how to move with the Holy Spirit at all. I never learned about trust or love because it wasn’t handed to me as a child. I learned everything that I knew by trial and error. So this was a very hard task for me to accomplish.

My mother in law never got to see her words come to fruition because she has gone home to be with the Lord now. But I want to take the time to dedication my first series of books to her because she was the first light that helped me on the journey to becoming the best me that I could be.

And to my husband, children and grandchildren thank you so much for being patient with me along this long journey of becoming the best wife, mother, and Nana. I am not there yet; but I am striving to become all I can in Christ and for you all.

Love you,

R. D. Pryor

Unto Her a Child Was Born

On Monday June 8, 1970, a little girl was born to her mother. I could imagine that the mother was so excited about her little daughter. She was going to buy her all of the nice little girl clothes. She was going to make sure that she had the nicest baby crib, and the room that the mother imagined was probably pink, with ducks, and everything was going to be in bright colors.

I could imagine she was so excited when she found out that she was having a little girl. You know mothers always want a little girl to do their hair and dress them up in pretty little dresses and someone that can mock their behaviors. I could only imagine that this new mother was so excited in the beginning about her firstborn child. I could guarantee that she was wondering what she was going to look like when she grew up. I was certain she was thinking of all the things that she would buy the little girl.

The new mother was so elated to know that she could have someone that she could spend time with during the day. She could teach her how to write, read, jump rope, and all types of things. The new mother wanted to make sure that the little girl had all of her needs met and some of her wants.

Once the little girl made it home with her mother, I am sure she slept in the same bed with her mother for a little while because normally new mothers are scared to allow their baby to sleep alone. They want to make sure that they learn the baby’s cry and moves prior to allowing the baby to sleep in another room.

In the ’70s, there weren’t any Pampers, Huggies, or Luvs; there were cloth diapers. I bet you the mother made sure that she had enough rubbers, cloth diapers, and milk for the baby to ensure that she didn’t run out until the diaper service came to pick up the dirty ones. I could imagine she had enough receiving blankets to cover the baby during feeding and sleeping times. I could only imagine that the mother thought about how the little girl was going to do in school. I was certain the mother could think of a lot of things that she wanted to plan for her new baby.

This was the life for the little baby girl. She couldn’t ask for anything else. She was nurtured, cared for, warm, not hungry, and full of love. The mother was doing such a good job taking care of the little girl. By the time she was one and a half years old, she was walking around and talking to her mother because of the love that was shared between the two of them.

The mother and the little girl were living with the Big Momma. When they lived with her, there wasn’t a care in the world for the both of them. They would sit out on the porch and watch the cars go by. They would walk over to the fairgrounds and people-watch, and everything was so grand.

The mother of this little girl loved her so very much. She couldn’t imagine what her life would be like without her. When the little girl turned four, she was going to St. John’s Catholic head start. The mother wanted to make sure that she was giving her little girl the best education because she was so smart. She wanted to make sure that she had the opportunity to keep the education going in the right direction for this little girl.

The little girl grew up with her uncle, who was her mother’s brother. It was so funny because they were of the same age. They played all the time together. The little girl thought they were more like brothers and sisters because they spent so much time together. They were always in the same classes together growing up.

They went to head start and also in kindergarten together (same class). By the time the little girl reached the age of five, life was grand. She was able to walk to school with her friends because the school wasn’t that far. She was able to take her lunch to school that her mother allowed her to make with her. She felt like a big girl.

Her mother would make sure that she didn’t leave her milk money. She knew that her little girl loved chocolate milk. Back in the ’70s, there wasn’t any free lunch and/or reduced lunch. You either paid for lunch or brought your lunch.

After the little girl got out from school, her mother was always home to greet her with a snack. They would sit and do her homework together. They would color, watch TV, and even do crossword puzzles together. The mother wanted to make sure that the little girl took the time to expand her brain a little so more things could fit inside of it.

The little girl always had food to eat. She always had her hair done in Afro-puffs, which was her favorite hairstyle. She was always dressed in the prettiest dresses. The little girl loved to wear dresses, especially if she got to pick them out. Her mother always took her to Sears or Kmart, which were the little girl’s favorite stores, to get her dresses.

At the age of five, the little girl knew she had it made. She loved her mother, and her mother loved her. They were like two peas in a pod. Her mother would always take her to McDonald’s at least once a week to get her a Happy Meal, but the cheeseburger couldn’t have a bun. The little girl didn’t like to eat bread unless it was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

The mother found herself taking the time to teach her and spend all of the time that she could with her. She wanted to make sure that she was giving her everything that she didn’t have as a child. She found herself going a little over the top with the little girl; she wanted to make sure that she had everything. This was how the little girl felt. She felt loved, nurtured, and wanted. She was living a life that all the children in her neighborhood wanted to live. She knew that her mother was going to always be there for her. She knew that her mother wasn’t going to allow anything bad to happen to her. She knew that her mother would always protect her and would guide her through life without a doubt.

If only the little girl could tell her mother that she would make some mistakes that would change the way she thought about things, I wonder if the mother would have listened to the little girl. I wonder if the little girl could tell the mother that she would change by the time she was eight into a different mother. I wonder if the mother would have taken the time to listen. I wonder if the little girl could have told her mother that by the time she was around ten, she would be raped by one of her older cousins. I really wonder if the mother would have took the time to protect the little girl then.

Hey, Mother! Don’t do that. This is going to change our lives forever. Hey, Mother, let’s not go there. This is going to change your little girl’s life forever. It is going to make her not be able to trust or love, and she is going to be bound by the things of life for a long time.

Hey, Mother! Don’t take her over there and drop her off. She is going to see things that shouldn’t be seen by her little eyes. Protect your daughter, Mother! She is going to receive chains of shackles from things that will affect her soul.

Hey, Mother! Watch it! You are binding the little girl’s mind by taking her to bars with you because you don’t have a babysitter today and tonight. Hey, Mother! Be careful of what you allow your little girl to feel inside of her body. It is going to destroy her innocence.

Hey, Mother! Did you know that you were going to stop loving this little girl by the time she was nine? Hey, Mother! Didn’t you know that life was going to change your mind on protecting her to the fullest until she was able to protect herself?

What happened that made your perspective change about your daughter? What did she do to you that made you stop caring so much? What happened that made you give up on her? Hey, Mother! Didn’t you know that all she wanted to do in life was make you proud of everything that she has done? Hey, Mother! Didn’t you know that she was just in need of your love and confidence in her?

"Hey, Mother! Did you realize because of some of your actions, it would cause the little girl to be shackled? Shackled in her mind? Shackled in her soul? Shackled in her spirit? She wouldn’t be able to trust, love, and give love to her children, and she would jump from relationship to relationship because of the things that she saw from you. Hey, Mother! Did you know? Hey, Mother!"

Link One

It was my fifth birthday, and I was so very excited. Today I knew that I was going to get everything that I wanted for my birthday. My mother was going to make me a good chocolate cake. My dad was going to bring me a bike, a swing set, and a big wheel today. I knew that I was going to have all of my friends over today. Today I knew that my uncle/brother and I would have a good time outside. I couldn’t believe that today was going to be a great day. Hurry, wake up, get dressed, and get ready to have a good time . My grandmother was outside grilling hot dogs, and we were going to have everything outside. I got my party hat, and today it was going to be all about me. Ha-ha! Uncle, you have to wait for me to cut the cake before you can have some. All of the family were outside and ready to have a good time with me. What a wonderful experience this was for me today.

We had a wonderful time in the yard. We played pin the tail on the donkey, ate hot dogs and chips, drank some Kool-Aid, and all of my friends from the neighborhood came to hang out with me and my uncle. We rode our bikes as our family played cards and did as adults do. We were having a good time all day. By the end of the day, we were exhausted. We couldn’t play anymore. Once the party was over, my uncle and I went inside to get ready to relax.

Party over now, time for the real world to begin. My uncle and I were upstairs going over all of the fun that we had, and then there was a boom. We were thinking what in the world was going on? We ran down the stairs to see what was going on. Running down the stairs to see my grandmother on the floor being bashed in the face was something that a child should never experience.

Let’s go! my uncle shouted at me. I was so scared, and I was thinking, Where are we going? But I still continued to run. We ran until we made it to the neighbor’s house and called the police. We had to help my grandmother. She was lying on the floor, and this man was kicking, punching, and smacking her around.

I could remember thinking, Oh my god! What if she dies tonight? What if we don’t make to the house in time to call the police? What if they take their time coming? Please make it here in time, police! My grandmother needs your help! Finally, we made it to the house next door; all the adrenalin in our little bodies had to be evident. She opened the door and just rushed us to the phone as though she already knew what we were coming for. Did she know? Had this happened before? I was not sure, but she helped us call the police and allowed us to stay until the police came. The police took this bad man out of our house, and we were safe.

We went home trying to lay down and go to sleep. But all we could do was cry, and the tears just kept rolling down our faces for what we just saw happen to my grandmother. After a night’s sleep, we woke up just knowing that we did the right thing for her. We had saved our family the night before. Now we were ready to begin our day. We arose to get ready to play outside, and we wanted some cereal before we went out to play. When we reached the stairs, we heard talking, and we were wondering who was