About this ebook
I wrote this book not as a self-help book (I am not a therapist) but as a testimony. I went through things and did things that I was ashamed of. I carried so much guilt for so long till I just wanted to die I felt like trash for a long time. I thought men and alcohol would chase away the boogieman but instead they became the boogieman. That would take years of crying on my knees at the altar to get rid of the way I felt about myself. I lost so much because of what happened to me. I delt with many years of fear of everything, and it took me a long time to figure out why I do things a certain way and feel a certain way and why I have missed out on so much in my life. And writing this book has been an eye-opener for me.
I hesitated for a long time with putting certain things in my book. I was always afraid of what people would think of me or what would be said on my job. Not anymore. See I must be obedient to the one who kept me alive and gave his life for me. In the end, my heavenly father is who I answer to. If I help just one person, it was all worth it. I do believe many more will be helped though. The one thing I can be certain of is that if you are going through anything, God has your back, and you must be willing to trust Him. You can go boldly to the throne. Talk to him as you would a friend. He already knows your pain and deepest secrets. As I grow in my walk with God, I am learning a new level of love for him. He is awesome. May God keep you and heal you and make you whole again. In his name, I pray. Amen.
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Putting Me Back Together - Lynn Mintz
Putting Me Back Together
Lynn Mintz
ISBN 979-8-88832-945-0 (paperback)
ISBN 979-8-88832-946-7 (digital)
Copyright © 2023 by Lynn Mintz
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.
Christian Faith Publishing
832 Park Avenue
Meadville, PA 16335
www.christianfaithpublishing.com
Printed in the United States of America
Table of Contents
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Silent Cry
Hurt on Top of Hurt
Covering up the Hurt with Marriage
Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
A Different Level of Hurt
The Start of Freedom
The Fight with Fear
Moving Forward
A Bad Dream of Hope
The Past Is Being Undone
About the Author
Acknowledgments
To my children. I love you, guys, very much. I have always been honored to have you as my children. I wish I could go back to when you, guys, were little and undo so much. I can't though, and all I can do is ask for your forgiveness. I pray and know that God will restore my family! I know you, guys, have gone through your own pain. I ask that you cry out to the only one that can heal and fix anything. I love you and want the best for both of you. But most of all, I want you free from pain. I am so sorry for failing you. You, guys, are the world to me. I will never stop loving you and praying for you.
Love,
Mom
To my beautiful granddaughters. Trust, Grandma, when I say never try to do this world without God. For he is the only true answer to peace and healing. I love you and will never stop praying for you. To my oldest granddaughter, I have watched you grow into a wonderful young lady of God. Never stop trusting him. I'm so excited to see what he has in store for you. To my youngest one, as our relationship grows, my prayer for you is that you will find out how awesome God truly is. And that he will become a big part of your life. I love you both very much.
Love,
Grandma
Introduction
Iam a woman who has gone through a lot of abuse. Believe me when I say it would be easy to keep this to myself, but if I can help just one person, it will be worth it. God has changed me, healed me, and he is still doing a work in me. The only difference is I'm open to the change. I am so in love with Jesus that I would be so wrong not to tell my story about how wonderful he is and how he saved me. I honestly hope this book helps many. I have kept things exceptionally clean cut; I don't feel the need to get into graphic details. That is not the point of the book. The point is that no matter how low or far we feel we have gone, God will never leave us. He loves us no matter what. Thank you for taking the time to hear my testimony. God bless!
Chapter 1
Silent Cry
Hello, my name is Lynn, and I would consider myself a very blessed woman today. Many may look at my life and may not feel the same way, or maybe feel it is overstated, but if you knew where I came from, you might agree with me.
I grew up in Chicago, and I was an only child. My mother miscarried twin girls at six months. In a way, I felt that was a good thing, or they could have been victims as well. I do often wonder if I had my sisters, would it have changed things at all? Or would we all have to deal with the things my father did? It was hard being alone. I had no one to turn to that I trusted. After any incident, I would play outside by myself. I had no one. I was a tomboy because there were mainly boys in the neighborhood. I learned how to climb trees and would climb