You Are the Key
By Rob Grady
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About this ebook
Whether just starting out in your career or feeling like there is something more out there you want out of life, it is possible to expand your world and learn to lead a life of purpose. Finding the right tools to discovers that purpose can be overwhelming, especially when facing significant life changes. Everyone is capable of impacting their ow
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You Are the Key - Rob Grady
YOU ARE THE KEY
YOU ARE THE KEY
UNDERSTANDING PERSONAL VALUE AND LEADING THE WAY
Rob Grady
MANUSCRIPT Press
Copyright © 2024 Rob Grady
All rights reserved.
YOU ARE THE KEY
Understanding Personal Value And Leading The Way
ISBN
979-8-88504-349-6 Paperback
979-8-88504-351-9 Hardcover
979-8-88504-348-9 eBook
Dedication
For my children, Amelia and Gabe. Lady and My Best Bud, I could not be prouder of you, for being your father will always be my ultimate purpose.
Introduction
A leader is anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes and has the courage to develop that potential.
—Brené Brown, Dare to Lead
On a bitterly cold January day, a dear friend working on her MBA questioned me in a quiet Indian restaurant. We are both from the Twin Cities but met through a bizarre chance encounter at a Portland Thai restaurant the previous year. In addition to a shared love of Asian cuisine and a state we both called home, we had a shared interest in leading with purpose. She sought to lead through holistic healing, and I was an established business leader.
I had the privilege of being interviewed for her first paper in her leadership course. Most of her questions were straightforward, but two questions gave me pause:
Can leadership be learned?
Can anyone be a leader?
I knew the answer to both was an easy yes,
but my hesitation came from the implications of a profound idea I had not previously contemplated. I knew the foundation to becoming a great leader comes from within through the decision to see others as unique and worthy. We can see the paths to learning the skills required to be an effective leader are everywhere. The number of leadership books and courses is vast. However, the materials found in those tools are sometimes overwhelming when taking the first steps on a new path.
They often and necessarily delve deep into the behavioral sciences for people, teams, and organizations. However, this can be too much for a novice leader. From what I’ve encountered, they don’t need those deep dives, at least not yet. They need someplace approachable to start.
People I have worked with were less concerned about leadership tenets and more interested in finding a compass bearing. Direction comes from understanding. Understanding comes from curiosity. Curiosity is about questioning. A good leader asks questions to better understand, and leverages those answers to better serve others.
A question I am often asked is, What keeps you up at night?
That can vary, but I most worry about the lack of understanding in our communities. People ask questions less and less. They avoid this in favor of thoughtless expressions of their own opinions or emotions. A study by MIT found that false news propagates more quickly on platforms such as Twitter than the truth.¹ It scares the hell out of me. We take in what we see without challenging its accuracy. Instead, we surrender to biases without asking ourselves if the conclusions are sound. This lack of understanding is more dangerous because it doesn’t even ask the question of right or wrong. Leadership is needed most in these situations.
Electronic communication exacerbates this, especially with online platforms. It can provide a shield of anonymity without consequence, and eliminates the ability to interpret the emotions or intent of the person who reads it. Both can be challenging. Where are we headed if few people ask questions to promote understanding in our lives and work?
The questions don’t have to be big. Small changes can impact the world in a positive way. Questions often serve as gateways to better understanding the world. Where gaps exist, they can help bridge the gap between known and yet to be known. Pause, ask, and listen when an information or understanding deficit exists.
Great leaders grow in this way.
We must question everything. The key is asking the right questions to find the right answers. I often tell those I am working with, Don’t give me your first answer.
Why? Because on the edge of the unknown, even when people are actively searching for answers, we tend to default to what we believe to be true. We answer based on our experiences. There is value in that answer, but the truth that brings about change is often well beyond it.
In 2011 (if I recall correctly), I was certified in a coaching method called Intrinsic Coaching. The certification consists of a fifty-hour training program designed to help leaders peel back the layers of people’s thinking to set real and achievable goals. The intention of the program is to go to the deepest places within our minds to find our truest motivations.² This is at the core of how I approach leadership, and I offer several examples of how exploring those layers yields powerful understanding, especially within ourselves. Using this exploration, you can discover your own motivations, regardless of your path.
Questioning everything as objectively as possible will make you a better person, more successful, and deeply fulfilled. It helps make the world a better place. Finding your purpose helps you think differently about the world to better understand others. It will positively impact every facet of your life. We are all imperfect, and there is nothing we can do about it. All we can do is be aware of it and be the best person and example possible.
I want to share with a new generation of leaders a succinct and approachable way to learn how to be the best versions of themselves, something I have the opportunity to do every day. I want people to come out of this with critical answers but even more questions. The right questions. I want to reveal biases to help recognize what drives us at our core. More than that, I hope to help people be more understanding.
My inspiration for this book comes from mentoring people who were looking to bring joy into their lives. Sometimes, I have served as a coach to help them identify what they want for themselves. In others, I have mentored them by providing direction on what it is they have already identified. In many cases, I have simply served as a sounding board to work through problems.
Here are a few examples which have impacted my own journey:
A vulnerable adult caregiver with little experience outside of her field became a successful and advancing member of a leading tech company with a growing family.
A dear friend, who is a self-described big rig mechanic, became a leading expert in his industry and is continually sought after for his expertise.
The daughter of a coworker who left a small marketing company in a tiny town near the shared borders of South Dakota, North Dakota, and Minnesota returned to her hometown to pursue a new career at a national alarm company.
Watching my very good friend, the aspiring MBA student who interviewed me, achieve her goals of making the world a better place through holistic healing and activism.
What do all these people have in common? On the surface, not very much. They come from different lines of work, backgrounds, and skill sets. However, they all wanted more for themselves. The caregiver and marketing professional sought the means to grow in new careers and start families. When I met him, the mechanic was relegated to a limiting work role, frustrated by his inability to do and be more. The MBA student had a grand vision fueled by her passion for improving the world but needed a helping hand to get there. I helped them tear down their self-doubt from within, one of the most challenging barriers to growth, so they could see their true value. They are constantly pursuing growth, an ideal of the utmost importance.
Anyone can achieve the same self-realization, no matter their education or experience. This book is not only for aspiring leaders but for anyone searching for fulfillment who has yet to find it. If you are a professional looking for more or a new start and don’t know where to begin, read this book. These ideas will help you take inventory to identify what is right for you. From there, you can chart your own path toward fulfillment with whatever you define as success.
Everyone has value. It starts by making the right choice: people come first. That includes ourselves, though not at the expense of others. If they are not adding value to whatever they are doing, then they are either not using their strengths or miscast in a role that suppresses those strengths. Gino Wickman refers to this concept in his book Traction, calling it Right Person, Right Seat.
The best leaders identify the correct seat and put the right person in that seat for mutual success.³ I will show you how to do this for yourself.
This book is an introduction to some foundational ideas. While I have written the chapters in a deliberate order, you can read each on its own. Some key lessons include:
How questions can lead to more objectivity and understanding.
What diets, motivation, and leadership have in common.
The differences between strategies (tactics) and goals, and how confusing a strategy with a goal often leads to failure.
Tools to push back common fears, such as public speaking, to achieve more.
The importance of trust in asking the right questions at the right times.
How to build a support network for yourself to help guide you and grow.
I think you will be a better leader for having read this, especially with help from others to get you out of your own self-doubt. I know you will be a better person.
Being curious is a strength. Be curious about whatever comes up for you in the pages that follow. Challenge what you believe to be true so you can expand your understanding of everything around you. It enriches noble pursuits and makes for better leaders. Most importantly, it makes us more human.
Chapter 1
Leading Isn’t a Role, It’s an Idea
The word leader can define several ideas. Leaders fill many roles. It could be as simple as volunteering to coach youth sports or as complex as being the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Let me start by pointing out that simple and complex are subjective words. For me, public speaking is simple. I recognize that’s not the norm, but more on that later. Being a leader can mean a lot of