Stories from the Microbial World

edited by D. A. Baden

Habitat Press

Copyright © 2024 by Habitat Press

All rights reserved.

No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher or author, except as permitted by U.K. copyright law.

Foreword

With the support of the University of Southampton, I founded the Green Stories project to encourage writers to embed ‘green’ solutions into stories aimed at mainstream readers, or to create visions of what a sustainable society might look like if we did things right. Since it was founded in 2018, a variety of sponsors have enabled us to run twenty free competitions which have given rise to several publications, plays and scripts.

One of these sponsors was the Environmental Biotechnology Network (EBNet) which is funded by UKRI. In 2023 EBNet sponsored a short story competition on the theme of ‘Microbes to the Rescue!’ When many people think of ‘microbes’ they think of germs, bacteria, nasty tiny little things that cause trouble. But they can be our friends. They are like mini magicians, breaking down food waste into rich compost, transforming human and animal waste, even pesticides and pollution into harmless, often even useful substances.

From the original 161 entries, we have picked fourteen to showcase the wide variety of perspectives on our microbial world. Some stories, such as ‘What Any Fool Can Do’ are written by experts in the field and give an accurate and fascinating insight into the microbial world. But they are all works of fiction, and mostly the science takes second place to the plot. We’ve selected stories from a variety of genres, mostly aimed at adults.

We begin, however, with six stories from our ‘Clean vs Green’ short story competition which similarly uses fiction to tackle myths and misconceptions about bacteria. The goal was to raise awareness of the environmental and health implications of over-cleaning. Many of us are now aware of the ‘beneficial bacteria’ in our gut, yet still scrub off all the friendly bacteria on our skin that has evolved to keep our skin healthy and clean. Persuaded by misleading marketing blurb claiming ‘this kills 99% of all germs’, we expose our lungs and environments to sometimes dangerous levels of volatile organic compounds. Indeed, most information reaching the public about cleaning has come from the advertising industry, not health professionals. We hope that these stories help to redress the balance as well as entertain.

We finish with two stories adapted from the novel ‘Habitat Man’ which show in amusing ways how micro-organisms help us process waste. ‘The Pitch’ begins with a plea for costing for nature accounting approaches and finishes with a pitch for a composting toilet - possibly the ultimate metaphor for the circular economy! ‘The Polyamorist’ takes a fun look at home-composting… amongst other things.

As authors came from across the world, with different spelling and grammar conventions, we have chosen to keep their original formats.

Contents

1.The Society for Organ Welfare

1. by Adrian Ellis

2.The New Normal

2. by Rab Ferguson

3.Mostly For You

3. by Jenni Clarke

4.Germ Counselling

4. by Jamie Mollart

5.The Smell of Success

5. by Catherine Kerr

6.What Lives in the Ice

6. by Eleanor Rycroft

7.An Up and Coming Business

7. by Alyson Hilbourne

8.Up Shit's Creek

8. by Brian Adams

9.For the Common Good

9. by Prashant Vaze

10.Interview with a Microbe

10. by Helen Anderson

11.Tree of Life

11. by Hannah Southcott

12.What Any Fool Can Do

12. by Vienna O'Shea

13.Sorrows in the Sediments

13. by Dolly Joy O. Ogatis

14.From the Ashes

14. Elizabeth Taylor

15.Coby

15. by Laura Baggaley

16.Microbes at the Ready

16. by Beatrice Smyth

17.The Greener Tyne

17. by Matt Edmundson

18.I’ll Tell You, Shall I, Something I Remember?

18. by Alexandra Burkitt

19.Cake and Compost

19. by Sharon Godiff

20.In the new days

20. by Fiona Mischel

21.Break Glass

21. by Sarah Woods

22.The Pitch

22. by D.A. Baden

23.The Polyamorist

23. by D. A. Baden

Afterword

About the authors

Acknowledgements

The Society for Organ Welfare

by Adrian Ellis

The sun was shining as I walked towards the building that housed the Society for Organ Welfare. It was a two-storey, brick-and-wood building, sitting amongst thick woodland. I walked across its drive and stepped through its front door into a cool, shady foyer. I greeted the receptionist, gave her my name, and was directed to Dr Kindred’s office on the first floor.

Dr Kindred was sitting on a wooden chair by a round table when I entered. She was middle-aged, healthy-looking, and she had an air of calm authority. Through her rear window, trees swayed in the morning breeze. Her office contained hessian rugs, bare floorboards, unpainted wooden furniture and pot plants. She greeted me and motioned for me to sit on the opposite chair. I took my seat, feeling uncomfortable. She picked up her tablet device and studied its screen.

I waited, drumming my fingers, then I blurted out, ‘is my liver coming back to me?’

‘No,’ she replied, ‘not at the moment, Mr Lorber. Your liver doesn’t feel sufficiently safe to return to you. It is still recovering from your abusive treatment. It wishes time alone.’

‘But that’s crazy! I can’t carry on doing this special diet you’ve put me on…’ I waved my hands at my abdomen. ‘With a synthetic organ inside me forever! I’ve stopped drinking. What more does it want?’

‘When we scanned your body, two years ago, Mr Lorber, with our organ communication system, your liver cried out to us. It had been abused for years and was in a physically poor state. It had been overworked, denied basic nutrition, and was severely injured. Your defence,’ she glanced at her tablet, ‘that your liver had made no complaint is, sadly, the mentality of any abuser who damages and inflicts suffering on those who cannot fight back or even vocalise their pain.’

I rolled my eyes. ‘I didn’t even know it was suffering. I was just having a good time, doctor. I was partying, socialising. I had a few hangovers, but that was it!’

‘We know that,’ she replied. ‘Your brain told us the details. It also reported that you inflicted many dangerous and traumatic impacts on it during your sports activities. Fortunately for you, it wishes to stay with you.’

‘Well, bully for my brain! It can’t leave me!’

She looked coolly at me. 'At the moment, no. But that may change. There is evidence that certain individuals can function by only using a primitive brain stem.' She glanced at me. ‘It seems possible.’

I frowned. ‘So nothing’s changed?’ Hey… wait. If that’s the case, why did you call me here this morning?’

‘Because another of your organs is crying out in distress.’

‘Which one? My lungs?’

‘No.’

‘Spleen?’

‘No.’

‘Gall bladder?’

‘No.’

I grimaced. ‘I’m running out of organs.’

‘It’s your skin.’

I stared at her. ‘But that’s not an organ, that’s just a… covering.’

She closed her eyes for a second, then looked at me. ‘Mr Lorber, your skin is much more than a covering. It is your largest organ. It carries out crucial activities to keep you healthy and survive. It handles temperature regulation, water regulation and protects your body from pathogens.’

‘You mean viruses and bacteria?’

‘Yes, along with fungi and mites.’

‘Right, you mean the evil things.’

She narrowed her eyes. ‘Mr Lorber, bacteria aren’t evil. Neither are fungi. They are like people. Some are dangerous, just as some people are dangerous, but most of them are not. The idea that all bacteria are nasty is like saying the entire human race should be destroyed because some of them are serial killers. Mr Lorber, your skin contains a forest of bacteria.’

‘Yuck!’

‘But that is the only way your body stays healthy,’ she added. ‘It needs many types of bacteria. Different bacteria colonise different areas. Some are very specialised. For example, certain bacteria only live in your belly-button, whereas others are found throughout your body. They defend you. They attack foreign invaders that try to break through your skin and make you ill. They are your castle guards and you have been attacking them. By using excessive amounts of disinfectants and anti-bacterial soaps on your skin, you’ve severely damaged your skin’s natural defences. In your foolish efforts to stop invaders, you’ve ended up massacring your own castle guards.’

‘Oh,’ I said.

‘Do you have cracked-skin problems?’

‘Yes.’

‘Eczema?’

‘Yes,’ I replied, ‘but I thought that was because I hadn’t used enough antibacterial…’

‘Your skin was weeping, literally, when we scanned it, Mr Lorber. It is not a healthy forest anymore, it’s more like a rubbish-strewn car park. You need to help it become a forest again. You need to expose it to a healthy, natural environment. Do some gardening, grow plants, play in the woods. Cut down on your disinfectant use. If you’re worried about bacterial and viral infections, buy healthier meat, or less meat, or possibly no meat at all. A study by environmental scientists discovered that poor standards at slaughterhouses meant that there were more dangerous, animal faecal bacteria in people’s kitchen sinks than in their toilet.’

‘Yuck!’

‘Yes.’

‘So…’ I looked at my hands. ‘Is my skin going to leave me?’ I went cold. ‘Oh my God, if that happened, I’d be flayed alive!’

‘We won’t be taking your skin away, Mr Lorber, but we will be monitoring the situation. If your behaviour doesn’t improve, you’ll have to spend time in one of our biome centres.’

I grimaced. ‘Those hippy prisons?’

‘Healthy biome centres are not hippy prisons. Many people who spend time there can’t believe how much healthier and happier they’ve become. Let your skin’s forest do its job. The woods are dirty, but that doesn’t mean they’re sick. They contain vibrant, healthy creatures. Trust in your body’s ability to protect itself.’

‘Right,’ I said.

She tapped on her tablet. ‘Returning to the matter of your liver, I’m booking a session in which you and it can spend some time together, under supervision. There’ll then be a period of digestion and reflection on both parts. If that progresses well, we can move to the next step.’

‘Right.’

‘Okay,’ she said. She put down her tablet device. ‘That’s everything for today, Mr Lorber. You’ll need to come back next week for a skin test. Hopefully, by then, it’ll be happier.’

‘Yes. Thank you, Dr Kindred.’ I stood up and left the room.

I walked down the stairs, crossed the foyer, and left the building. I headed back to town, the sun bright over my head. I looked down at my bare arms as I walked. I thought for a second, then I crossed the road and continued my journey on the shady side of the street.

The New Normal

by Rab Ferguson

It was the avocado that changed everything. Before that, Willow was able to pretend things were fine. It was just her and Dad, looking after each other, the same as always. If it hadn’t been for the avocado, maybe nothing would have changed – and she might never have seen a glass of orange squash bigger than she was!

How they did the groceries used to feel normal. Willow and Dad went round the shop together, getting everything on Dad’s list, while she also chipped in with helpful suggestions like buying more chocolate cereal. Then when they arrived home, they’d put it all away. The tins went in the tin cupboard, the fruit in the fruit bowl, and the milk in the fridge. Simple.

A lot had happened since then. There’d been social distancing, and school being closed, and school being back but in bubbles. Now, everything had settled into the new normal instead. For example, when they got back in the car after the shop:

We almost lost the patient, Dad said, lowering his face mask and pretending to be a surgeon.

"Luckily, I got the stitches done just in time,’ Willow played along.

That sort of thing felt almost like the old normal to Willow. Her and Dad messing around as usual. It was once they got the shopping inside that things got really weird.

Time for the wipes! Dad said, getting out packets of anti-bac wipes. He said it like it was a joke, but they did actually wipe everything down. The tins of beans, the apples for the fruit bowl, even the plastic milk bottles. The wipes made everything damp and shiny and smell like chemicals.

Dad wiggled his eyebrows at Willow, as if to say, can you believe we’re doing this? Some of her friends had told her they’d done this sort of thing too, at the start of the pandemic. But they said it like it was some crazy story from the past – while Willow and Dad were still sterilising the shopping, and had been for two years now. It wasn’t just the groceries either. Twice a day, Dad cleaned the floor and sides with a strong-smelling bleach that made her head spin. He’d also started washing their clothes at a higher temperature, and with more detergent, which was making them itchy and too small.

It was hard for Willow to know if his cleaning was too much. Even adults couldn’t agree what the right things were to do around Covid, so how was she supposed to know? But that day, when she watched Dad rub an anti-bac wipe over an avocado, something just felt wrong. She was sure that couldn’t be necessary – in fact, she was worried that putting those chemicals on fruit could be bad for them. Really, it was the avocado that set everything in motion – including the bizarre events of later that evening!

Willow knew why Dad worried about germs and getting ill. If he was ill, who’d look after Willow, and make sure they had everything they needed? Dad might make a lot of jokes, but he’d looked after her by himself since she was little. It was the one thing he was serious about.

Of course, she was old enough to pretty much look after herself now. But that wasn’t something Dad saw. In his eyes, she was still the same little girl she’d been in primary school – or even nursery! But she was more grown up now, and it was her job to look after him too.

That evening, when Dad thought she was doing her homework, Willow went on her tablet and looked up the cleaning products they had in the house: the ones that boasted about how they killed 99.9 percent of germs. As she read, she drank from a glass of orange squash. She had no idea of the amazing journey this little bit of research was going to send her on!

Willow ended up reading for ages, the sky getting darker outside. What she learned was fascinating. It turned out there were good bacteria on her body, which helped protect against germs that could make her sick. The anti-bac bleaches and wipes got rid of the good bacteria too.

Her eyelids were getting heavy, but she was determined to keep reading. Normally, Dad would have already come up to check that she was asleep, but he was absorbed in a history documentary. He was a funny one, Dad. He couldn’t pay attention for a full superhero movie, but he could easily watch a two-hour documentary about the history of paint.

Willow read about probiotic cleaning products next. They were cleaning sprays, laundry detergents and wipes that didn’t use chemicals to kill the germs in the same way, and actually supported the good bacteria. There were all sorts of tips online around how to keep the good bacteria alive, like putting the clothes wash on a lower heat, or washing your hands with soap rather than using anti-bac hand gel. Willow was thinking about those good germs when she felt her head drop forward and her eyes close, as if of their own accord.

She opened her eyes again, and everything looked different. It took her a moment to figure out how. Everything was bigger. Her tablet was as wide as a dinner tray. Her chair was taller, so her feet no longer touched the floor. Her orange squash glass was bigger than her head. Even the walls and floor had grown, like her room was expanding away from her.

Wait, no. Everything else wasn’t bigger. She was smaller! Willow felt another shrinking sensation. Now, the tablet looked more like a surfboard, and the squash glass was towering over her. The drop from her chair to the floor had become frighteningly long. It happened again, and she couldn’t even see the tablet anymore – just the underside of her gigantic desk. The edges of the chair were so far away they looked like horizons. She was the size of an insect now!

With a final lurch, she became so small she could no longer see the edges of the chair. Instead, there was flat land stretching out all around her. Crawling across the land, there were bizarre creatures of all shapes, sizes and colours. Some were incredibly hairy, and were actually pulling themselves along with their own hairs! Others looked like one BIG hair, snaking and twisting around. Some were translucent, and jelly-ish, and looked as if they’d be sticky to touch.

It was like being on an alien farm, but Willow knew she wasn’t looking at extraterrestrials. She was so small she could see bacteria! Then one in particular caught