I found a fan's internet site on me in which he got almost everything wrong, including I'd changed my name. I was born Benjamin Elton. My father's family were German Jews who adopted British nationality after the War and my uncle, who served in the British Army, changed his name, under Army instructions, from the Jewish Eronberg to Elton because he wanted the same initials. My father said, "Bugger it, I want to be an Elton too", and changed from Ludwig Eronberg to Lewis Elton. That's the story, not something you pick up on a fan site that comes with so-called "fame".

I can do without the Labour Party trying to strut its funky stuff. I didn't vote Labour because they've heard of Oasis.

[on the fashion industry] Women who don't look like women modelling clothes that don't look like clothes.

[in 2005] The problem really with politics is apathy I think, particularly the Labour Party. I mean, I'm a member and I can't even be arsed to leave!

I once was lucky enough to meet a young lady by the name of Helen Stone who said to me "you are a bloke who don't look like a bloke. saying words which don't sound like they're funny..." that made me laugh a lot.

[on The Wright Way (2013)] I chose this situation because it offers endless opportunity for logical absurdity and big physical comedy while also allowing for a bit of social satire on a subject which looms large in everyone's lives.

[on the death of his old friend Rik Mayall] I owe him so much. He changed my life utterly when he asked me to co-write The Young Ones (1982) with him and he was with me on the day I met my wife. He always made me cry with laughter, now he's just made me cry.

[on Cliff Richard] What an extraordinary performer, one of those few people who can make you feel old and young at the same time. He had his first number one hit before I was born. When I meet him I feel like I'm twice his age. The guy is magical. I first had the privilege of working with him in '86 when he teamed up with the Young Ones to do the first Comic Relief single and sold a million records for Comic Relief. The guy is extraordinary. Age has not withered five decades of pop power, the tomatoes may be wrinkled but this man is not. He's the best, he's the king.

It seems like once you've been on telly everyone assumes you're constantly eating caviar out of a choirboy's bottom.

And then there are the psychopaths who use a whole roll every time.

When Hungerford happened there was gun ownership discussion and someone said "We must respect the rights of the Genuine Sportsman!" Oh yes, the Genuine Sportsman... with a Machine Gun? Doesn't give the Elk many options, does it?

[on Rishi Sunak]: A mendacious, narcissistic sociopath.