Mrs. Nutt calls in her grandson Charles Nutt III to stop Big Jake Herder of the Texplex Corporation from attempting to buy the Nutt House from her. It doesn't help matters that there is a girl stuck in the hotel phone booth and that the guest list of 600 people is a fraud, having been fudged by Reginald Tarkinton for the last couple of years.

An immigration officer forces Ms. Frick to pack up her bags and leave the country within 24 hours unless she marries a U.S. citizen. Tarkington is the only suitable though unwilling groom unless she can prove her first husband was American.

Reginald is having a midlife crisis when a younger woman called Gwen Goode suddenly takes a fancy to him. Ms. Frick becomes jealous and soon finds out the woman is working with Hans Grueblik the infamous criminal and master of disguise

Tarkington's favorite baseball team, the Badgers is staying at the Nutt House because it is the dullest and therefore most quiet hotel in New York. Unfortunately all 21 players and their coach are kept up all night by a crying baby. When the young mother of the culprit, Rosemary packs up and leaves her little girl in the care of the reluctant Ms. Frick, long suppressed motherly feelings arise in her German heart.

With the hotel almost entirely vacant and unable to pay their bills, Charles tries to lure the President of the United States (in town to visit a conference of Gentile Habedashers) to stay in the suite that bears his title. In order to do so, the staff produces and stars in a video presentation to promote the Nutt House.

When Charles hires Marla to be the Nutt House's public relations officer, she immediately becomes Sally's rival for his affections. Marla plans Charles to be the main attraction of a fashion show but Ms. Frick and Freddie (disguised as a carpenter) decide to help out Sally in their own inimitable style.

When his own Roosevelt High class of '49 holds a reunion at The Nutt House, Reginald J. Tarkington pretends to be into big business to impress his old rival and other former classmates including Pope John Paul II.

Sally is trying to raise $1170 so her mother can get her nose fixed. Tarkington has just won some cash, but at the same time an acrobatic female burglar and her gorilla of an assistant raid the Nutt House's till.

Reggie Tarkington is replaced by Alec Creed on of all times, pay raise day. Creed fires Freddy, but the rest of the Nutt House staff conspires together against the stuffy Englishman to get Feddy reinstated.

Sally has invited the Kiev-ballet into the Nutt House to further the peaceful connections between the US and the USSR. She is especially looking forward to meeting handsome dancer Mikael Nabokov.