Chappelle's Show (2003–2006)

Bill Burr: Billy, Detective, Self, Various

Quotes 

• Businessman : I'll have a Samuel Jackson.

  Samuel Jackson : [shouts]  Good motherfucking choice, motherfucker! Samuel Jackson! Made painstakingly by me, Samuel L. Jackson! It'll get ya drunk! You'll be fucking fat girls in no time! You might even fight a nigga or two! Mmmm-mmm, bitch!

  [Jackson walks up to the businessman] 

  Samuel Jackson : [shouts]  How's it taste, motherfucker?

  Businessman : Could you please stop yelling at me?

  Samuel Jackson : [shouts]  No, I can't stop yelling, 'cause that's how I talk! Haven't you seen my movies? "Juice" That was a good one! "Deep Blue Sea" They ate me! A motherfucking shark ate me! Drink up, bitch!

• [sportscasters covering the Racial Draft] 

  Robert Petkoff : The blacks have won the coin toss, so they get to go first.

  Dave Chappelle : Wow, that's the first lottery a black person's won in a long time.

  Bill Burr : Yes, and they'll probably still complain. Ha-ha-ha-ha.

  Dave Chappelle : heh heh - man, fuck you.

• Bill Burr : You know, I have to admit, I saw this robbery coming from a mile away, which is why I put my car keys up my ass.