Failure to Launch (2006)

Justin Bartha: Ace

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ace : So, is Kit short for Katherine?

  Kit : Yes. Is Ace short for... Ace-a-rooney?

• Kit : You couldn't be more wrong if you called it a Canadian Goose.

  Ace : I'll give you a Canadian Goose.

  [she slaps him, then a moment later, grabs him and kisses him passionately] 

• Ace : Point is, my friend, you are afraid of love.

  Tripp : Bullshit. No, no, no, man. I'm not afraid of love. I love love. Look, I've had a lot of girlfriends, right? And sometimes I'm the rebound guy; other times, when I get lucky, I'm the explore-new-areas-of-your-sexuality guy; but, every single time, we have fun. Thank you. I have fun, they have fun; it's good for me, it's good for them, and I would argue that it's damn good for civilization as a whole.

• Tripp : Dude, did you just drop me from a forty-foot cliff? I mean, you want to talk about a friend, man. You went behind my back and blackmailed your way into getting your girlfriend.

  Demo : He's right.

  Ace : I'm sorry I dropped you from a cliff.

  Tripp : It's okay.

  Demo : Granted, he used you, but not out of malice. Look at him. How many chances is he gonna get? He saw a chance for love, Tripp, and he took it, which is exactly what we wanted for you.

  Tripp : Am I getting advice from my two loser buddies who still live at home?

  Ace : Actually, I own my home.

  Demo : What?

  Tripp : No, you don't.

  Ace : I bought it a couple of years ago from my Mom. That way, she has a place to live and I don't get nailed on the inheritance tax.

  Demo : Smart.

  Tripp : Wow.

  Ace : And Demo, here, has chosen the life of a wanderer. I mean, sure, he technically still lives at home.

  Demo : Yeah.

  Ace : But his permanent address is in his heart. He's a bum.

  Demo : I think what we're trying to say is that the two of us are happy, and we're perfectly functional.

  Ace : And you, Tripp, are not.

• Tripp : [at the top of a mountain, when Ace appears]  Oh, hey there, Ace. Glad you could make it, man. We thought you went home.

  Ace : [dropping to the ground, exhausted]  I fell into a deep, dark crevasse. I was so scared.

• Tripp : I do sleep well at night.

  Ace : On a twin bed, with Superman sheets that you've had since you were six.

  Demo : As opposed to you, who sleeps in a King-sized bed in your mother's basement.

  Ace : It's orthopedic, and I need it. And at least I'm not sponging off my parents so I can afford to get laid on every continent.

  Demo : Whoa, whoa... I'm a ramblin' man, I'm a tumble weed, I'm a seeker of truth! And one truth I've learned - a child is a parent's greatest joy, which is why I can't leave my parents' place, because... because they would miss me!

• Tripp : It's over. She gotta go.

  Ace : You're dumping Paula?

  Demo : What happened?

  Tripp : Same thing that always happens. Everything is going along nice and smooth, we're having a good time, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere - whoap! - she gets serious. I hate to say it, boys, but it is time to take the girl home.

• Ace : Okay, how about this? We send flowers to Paula from Tripp, and, flowers to Tripp from Paula.

  Al : Then what?

  Ace : Then, they love each other.

  Kit : Oh, Jesus Christ.

  Ace : [Whispering to Jeffrey]  It's the flowers.

  Jeffrey : [Drops cookie, looking stunned] 

  Sue : Thank you Philip. Now let's all try to come up with a plan that's not so idiotic.