- Obed Scarsdale: No living thing shall enter Scarsdale Manor ever again...
- Ask Lovecraft: "... or the whole world is doomed." And thus it has been since that day... until now.
- Linkara: Well, thank God the first people to set foot in it since then are... people who make videos on the internet.
- Linkara: Ah, Diamanda Hagan. How's life as an evil dictator treating you?
- Diamanda Hagan: Beautifully. As always. My minions just finished their work on a 15 foot statue of me in front of my castle. Naked, of course.
- The Blockbuster Buster: The names Erod, the Blockbuster Buster! And you?
- Some Jerk With a Camera: Oh, I'm Some Jerk with a Camera.
- The Blockbuster Buster: Did you name yourself after a negative comment that someone made?
- Some Jerk With a Camera: Oh. No no no. It was just something my dad said to me last time I saw him.