Albert S. Ruddy: Bob Evans? I'm Al Ruddy. I want to talk to you. You got a minute?
Robert Evans: I'm pretty sure we don't have a meeting this morning. But then you knew that, didn't you? How'd you get on the lot?
Albert S. Ruddy: It ain't exactly Fort Knox.
Robert Evans: Fair enough. So what can I do for you, Mr. Ruddy?
Albert S. Ruddy: It's about what I can do for you. I want to produce for Paramount.
Robert Evans: You know, you told a good story once. It was ballsy of you to walk away from Hogan's Heroes.
Albert S. Ruddy: So you do know who I am?
Robert Evans: I know who everybody is, kid. Do you know what a producer does, Mr. Ruddy? He does everything he has to do to get his picture made the way he wants it made. Now, what makes you think you're qualified to do that?
Albert S. Ruddy: You know, I read an article on you in Variety. It said you started out selling women's slacks and doing bit parts in movies. You still figured it out.
Robert Evans: [Smiling] Don't call them bit parts when you're kissing somebody's ass! I worked with Jimmy Fucking Cagney, my friend. Toe to toe! So: unknown computer guy creates CBS's hit comedy about Nazis. Go figure.
[pause]
Robert Evans: All right, Mr. Ruddy. I'm a sentimental guy, you remind me of me, and you caught me on a good day. Let's set a lunch, Mr. Ruddy. And talk about your future.
