- David Cotton: You know, telling someone to calm down has literally never calmed anyone down in the history of the universe.
- Gede: My father was a seaweed farmer, his father before him.
- Lily Cotton: And what about his father before him?
- Gede: He was a fisherman. They can't all be winners.
- Georgia Cotton: That's my armrest.
- David Cotton: No, it's in the middle.
- Georgia Cotton: This is so like you. Take, take, take.
- David Cotton: It is not a metaphor. It is an armrest.
- Lily Cotton: [over the phone] So you promise? No mean comments. No passive aggression.
- Georgia Cotton: What about aggressive aggression? Is that okay?
- David Cotton: You know, for once you could back me up.
- Georgia Cotton: I could. But then I'd be wrong too.
- Lily Cotton: You're just like all parents, acting like you're giving your kid this great advice for their own good, but all you're really doing is talking to your young, dumb selves, trying to rewrite the past and not do whatever you did 25 years ago.
- Georgia Cotton: Two please
- David Cotton: Just leave the bottle
- [gasps as the bottle falls to the floor]
- David Cotton: Are you okay?
- Georgia Cotton: It's just George Clooney. We have another one.
- David Cotton: 1-800-Brad Pitt
- Wren Butler: Yeah, I've been thinking about that, and I really don't think this whole "being an adult" thing is gonna work out for me.
- David Cotton: You know for once you could back me up.
- Georgia Cotton: I could but then I'd be wrong too
- David Cotton: Like hearing an old friend, you barely talk to anymore, is getting married. You're happy for them but you don't feel the need to buy a gift.