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Every single Horror movie I can remember seeing, in the order in which I saw them.
Science Fiction Class
Here are the Books we read: -Anthem -Fahrenheit 451 -Rendezvous with Rama -Ender's Game.
One thing that always made me laugh about this class was the fact that all the fliers that advertised this class showed a poster for Invasion of the Saucer Men. Even though we never watched that movie in the class. I decided to list all the movies/TV shows that were watched in this class.
The Blu-Ray/DVD Collection of a Depressed Star Wars Fan
Reviews
The Darkness (2016)
Too Much Exposition
This movie suffers from something A LOT of modern Horror movies suffer from. They Explain Too Much! There is too much time spent explaining the villains, how they work, what their entire history is, and how to stop them. Remember the scene in ALIEN when they explain all that about the Xenomorph? I don't. The characters in this movie are all stereotypes. You have a father who doesn't spend enough time with his family, a mother who is broken up about it, a teenager who only cares about herself and is annoyed with her weird younger sibling who turns out to be the main target of the supernatural beings. We have never seen characters like this before. Isn't that right INSIDIOUS, POLTERGEIST, THE POSSESSION, SINISTER, and various sequels, remakes, and rip-offs of the aforementioned movies? The only thing I was able to appreciate was the music. The music for the movie sets up this creepy mysterious tone that works at creating this unnerving dread and is actually kind of unique for a movie like this. Otherwise this movie is not worth seeing. It's cliché, uninspired, and above all Not Scary. Save your money.
Star Wars: Droids (1985)
The definition of the word embarrassing.
Star Wars was one of the biggest parts of my childhood. I know all the live action theatrical movies by heart. While not all of them are amazing masterpieces, they are still landmarks in pop culture, but like any successful franchise some sort of animated spin-off had to be made. For Star Wars, several were made, but the one that stands out in my mind the most prominently is DROIDS.
The story line to Droids is that C-3PO and R2-D2 go from master to master, finding themselves going on many adventures. Already the story line sounds boring, as well as was. The characters are flat and uninteresting as all Hell. Aside from our two main characters, every character was just a blatant rip-off of a characters from something else. Yes I know even the Excellent Star Wars movies took a lot of influence from other films, but they at least made enough tweaks that the characters and scenes were memorable. They weren't even trying with the characters in this show. The comedy fell flat and would leave you cringing and wishing to turn the TV off.
The animation in this show was atrocious, often times the animators would recycle stock footage even if the footage being recycled had a background that didn't match the scene it's supposed to be part of.
All in all, this show's not worth your time.
Gamera tai daiakuju Giron (1969)
Enjoyable, but not good by any means.
Two kids enter a mysterious space ship that takes them to Earth's twin planet, where they find two alien women who have control of a knife- headed beast,....and also have plans to eat the children's brains. With the kids lives at stake, their only hope is our favorite atomic powered turtle, in GAMERA VS. GUIRON (a.k.a. ATTACK OF THE MONSTERS).
The acting in this film is pretty bad. The actors in the film either overact or underact, none of them meet the halfway point. The human and humanoid alien characters are very forgettable. The monsters are memorable though. Lets be honest, how is a monster with a knife for a head not pretty awesome? The story, while ridicules, is well paced and enjoyably cheesy.
Overall if you want a really good Gamera film, then check out GAMERA 3: REVENGE OF IRIS or any of the other Gamera films from the 1990's or 2000's, but if you want an enjoyably bad film then give GAMERA VS. GUIRON a watch.
Godzilla and Other Movie Monsters (1998)
Oh the nostalgia.
I was a huge monster movie fan as a kid, and I used to watch this documentary all the time. Watching it again still bring back memories, but is it good? Well one down side to this documentary is that a lot of movies that are important to the Godzilla and movie monsters in general get either ignored or not acknowledged enough, like the original THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL, THEM!, etc. It even make some pretty bad mistakes, like claiming that GODZILLA 1985: THE LEGEND IS REBORN was a color remake of the original Godzilla film when in fact it was just a direct sequel to the original that ignored all the Godzilla movies in between. Another strange thing is that the VHS cover claims that the ridicules Godzilla rap is a "HIT Song" which we all know is not true. Well despite it's flaws I find this documentary to be strangely enjoyable. I guess it's a bit of a guilty pleasure for me. Whether or not you will like it is up for you to decide.
The Phantom from 10,000 Leagues (1955)
An ungodly forgettable experience.
A mysterious monster terrorizes humanity in THE PHANTOM FROM 10,000 LEAGUES. This is one of the many public domain monster movies that I would always find at Walgreens for about $1.00 or less. To be honest I only bought a lot of these movies because of their DVD covers, and this is one of them. Let's start with the positive aspects of the film.......I got nothing.
Now on to the negative aspects. Well first of all the story is badly paced and hardly memorable. Next the Characters are not memorable either, especially not the monster. The Monster isn't even a good special effects creation. Even the title makes no sense, it's not a phantom it's a Frankenstein-like creature that looks like a lizard.
So in the end, this is a very boring film. Not worth checking out what so ever, so avoid it at all costs.
The Rocketeer (1991)
Not a masterpiece, but not bad either.
The title characters takes off to fight some Nazi's in Joe Johnson's THE ROCKETEER. Let's start with the positive elements. Well first of all the acting is good, nothing groundbreaking, but still passable. The special effects are also good, again nothing excellent, but still nice to look at. The main characters are also very goodhearted and likable.
Now on the negative aspects. This story isn't horrible, but it can get a little TOO silly at times, like what the Nazi's plan to do with the Rockets. The villain is also pretty ridicules.
Well despite the flaws, this is a very enjoyable film. It's innocent, good old-fashioned fun, so check it out and have fun.
Apollo 18 (2011)
Not a bad Horror movie, but not a good one either.
We are shown the reason why we never went back to the moon in Gonzalo López-Gallego's Sci-Fi Horror Thriller, Apollo 18. Lets start with the positive aspects. Well first of all the movie has a great premise, to make a FOUND FOOTAGE Horror movie in space. The film also has some good creepy moments, like the shot of the dead Cosmonaut. The main characters in the movie aren't dumb either, which is good since that's one thing that always bugs people like myself about Horror movies is when people act dumb.
Now on to the negative aspects. Although the characters are not dumb, they're not memorable either. They're not boring, but there's nothing that makes them stand out from other Horror movie protagonists. The aliens aren't threatening either and certain plot points are either ridicules or don't make any sense, like the twist about why the astronauts were sent to the moon.
Overall this movie is worth checking out, just don't expect a masterpiece.
Supercroc (2007)
A very boring killer Crocodile movie.
Are crocodiles really easy villains for Low Budget, Straight to video, Horror movies? I mean seriously how many have we gotten in the past decade? Well anyways, on to the review. Let's start with the positive elements.........................I got nothing. How sad.
Now onto the negative elements. The characters in this movie are shockingly, horrifyingly, unbelievably forgettable, bricks are more interesting. The story itself is contrived, poorly written, poorly acted, and just down right boring. The special effects are bad, though to be fair I'd be lying if I said I thought that wouldn't be so.
Overall, this is a very boring movie. It's poorly written and poorly executed. So stay away.
Halloween II (2009)
Michael Myers is coming to town.
Michael Myers returns and tries to kill is sister again in Rob Zombie's Halloween II. Well let's start with the positive elements. Well first of all the acting is pretty good and there are some good Horror visuals.
Now on to the negative elements. The the story is mess, filled with plot contrivances, random weird scenes that contribute nothing to the plot, and drama that doesn't work. This is also a very mean spirited movie, taking a lot of unpleasant turns. The characters themselves are forgettable. Michael Myers does the same thing he's been doing the past few decades, Sam Loomis is suddenly a greedy jerk for no reason, and Laurie Strode is an idiot at times.
All in all this is a film you should probably skip and see the original Halloween instead, or even the original Halloween II. Just don't see this one.
King Kong Lives (1986)
Ah man, The Dude isn't in this one!
King Kong get's a heart transplant and even finds a girl his own size in KING KONG LIVES!! Well lets start with the positive elements. Well the Gorrilla costumes look great, the actors aren't that bad,....and that's it.
Now on to the negative aspects. The story is a mess. Certain scenes come out of no were and contribute nothing to the story, the characters are forgettable, and some plot points are rather poorly written. Although the gorilla suits are great, the sound effects for them are a mixed bag. King Kong's roar sounds good, but Lady Kong's roar sounds like a guy making random, poorly executed growl sounds.......which is probably what it is.
In the end this is a very boring picture, not recommend by any means.
Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus (2010)
Probably the worst Sci-Fi/Horror movie ever made.
MMMEGA SHARK!!!!!!!! VERRRSUSSS...CROCOSAURUSSSS!!!!! What's next? Godzilla vs. Chuck Norris Turtle? Who Knows, the possibilities are truly endless. Well I suppose we should start with the positive aspects of this stinker. Well it is fun to watch and make fun of, and lord knows Jaleel White isn't that bad in this.
Now on to the negative aspects. Well aside from Jaleel White, all the actors are terrible. The characters are very boring, and the story is bland and uninspired beyond belief. Even the monsters aren't anything special. Speaking of the monsters, the worst part about this movie, are the special effects. The monsters radically change size and appearance, the computer models look rushed, and the explosions look like they were made by a 7th grader.
In the end. This is a terrible film, but as said before, it is one that is fun to watch, so see it at your own risk.
Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2010)
Demonic Tooth Fairies?
This is a decent Horror film. Let's start with the positive elements. Well for one it has moments with good spooky atmosphere as well as excellent Horror movie ideas that just sent chills down your spine. The plot of this movie is also kinda creepy, as demonic tooth fairies plan to take a cute little girl and make her one of their own. Also the acting is really good. Every actor is believable. Finally this movie dose succeed in have some pretty damn scary visuals, like the paintings of the creatures, those are guarantied to send chills down your spine. Now it's time to move on to the negative aspects of this film. First of all there are A LOT of plot holes. Usually I'd tell you what they were, but the IMDb message board for this movie already talks enough about them. Another flaw with this film is the fact that, although the actors are good, the characters can sometimes be inconsistent and stupid. At times it seem the evil tooth fairies would have been scarier if you never saw them, or only got brief glimpses of them. In the end the good moments do a good job at trumping the bad moments, so this movie is still enjoyable and I do recommend it.
Kingu Kongu no gyakushû (1967)
Kong fights a Robot Kong. What's not to like?
This is a funny movie. Let's start with the characters. None of them are memorable in any way. They're all a bunch of clichés and the actors are pretty bad. Some are over the top and goofy while others are boring as hell. The special effects aren't that good either. Before you go off accusing me of being some kinda person who hates the man in a rubber suit thing, I should inform you that the men in the rubber suits are the only good parts about the special effects in this film. Other that that all the the helicopters, the submarines, and even the giant snake look laughably bad. The story is a SORT OF remake of the original King Kong movie. The plot is this: The sinister Dr. Who plans to capture Kong from his home of Skull Island (I know they call the island something else in the film, but forget it it not like were going to remember that name anyways) so that Kong can retrieve Element X. Unfortudentally Kong will only listen to a woman that he saved from Gororsaurus a few days prior. In the end, this is an enjoyable little bad film, so see it if you want some laughs.
Frankenstein Reborn (2005)
An extremely uninspired and forgettable re-telling of the classic story.
This is a f**king terrible film. Let's start with the story. The story of Frankenstein is re-told in modern times. An idea that the writer or director though was original when in fact there were already a few other movies that already utilized that idea. In fact nothing about this film that's original. It doesn't do any thing new with the story. A lot of the elements are taken from better Frankenstein films, and other times the movie feels like it's trying to be some cliché slasher movie. Actually the slasher movie elements seem to be an attempt to make the film stand out from all the other Frankenstein re-tellings, but it only makes it more forgettable. The acting in this movie is nothing special, and unfortunately there is nothing more to say about it other than that. It's the same story with the special effects, there really nothing special. In the end this is a very forgettable film that is probably best left forgotten in the minds of movie viewers.
Lost in La Mancha (2002)
A documentary that shows us how hard it truly is to get a film made, even though the film their making here is never finished.
This is a brilliant idea for a documentary. The film follows Terry Gilliam as he attempts to make the move "The Man Who Killed Don Quixote". While doing so everything that could go wrong does. You can actually feel the emotions the filmmakers are going through, especially when things start to go wrong. It actually gets kinda uncomfortable. Throughout the film they are kind enough to show us different story boards, script readings, and clips from this unfinished project. The film they are trying to make seems like it would be kinda interesting. It's just a shame that it was never finished. Time to wrap this review up. In the end this is a great film to watch if you wish to be a film director, and even if you don't it's still and enjoyable film so check it out.
Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure (1984)
A hardly memorable addition to the excellent Star Wars franchise.
It's actually kinda strange to think that out of all the characters in the Star Wars films that could have been given their own spin-off films, it happened to be the ewoks. Personally I would have liked to see the Bounty Hunters get a spin-off, but hay what are you going to do? Let's move on to the film itself. I'll start with the story. There aren't really a whole lot of surprises in it. From start to end the film is predictable as hell. The characters in this story....well they aren't bad, but aside from the ewoks none of them are memorable by any. The acting is film is not bad either. Again, there is nothing memorable about it, but still it isn't bad. Now the special effects in this film are well done, I think. In the end, there isn't really much to say about this film, nor is there anything memorable about it.
Saw 3D (2010)
Shamless Bloodshead and a recycled plot ultimately result in a predictable mess.
Muck like the Friday THE 13th Series, the only thing truly memorable about the most SAW movies is the massive amount of on screen violence and this installment is no different, but first, let's start with the story. It's more or less a rehash of the other SAW sequels, with some guy walking around a abandon building trying to save other people who have been put in different torturous traps, of course this being a SAW movie he naturally fails to save them and the end up dead and no one's surprised. The acting in this film is okay, but not memorable in any way. Same with the rest of the SAW sequels. The characters are pretty one dimensional and Extremely forgettable. Honestly the only good thing about this movie are the special effects. They're very repulsive, but they still are convincing. In the end this is a truly boring film, then again the only SAW movie truly worth checking out is the first one.
Alligator II: The Mutation (1991)
A completely Unnecessary and pretty boring sequel.
This movie is pretty bad. It actually kinda weird. The original "Aligator" isn't even that popular of a movie. So who was it that came about and said, "He lets do a sequel". There isn't even any reference (That I heard anyways.) to the original. So couldn't they just call it something different? The plot to this movie is cliché. A monster comes, only one guy knows about it, he tries to tell the other people, but they don't believe him. Then the monster appears and runs amok. Same old, same old.
The acting to this movie is BLAND. I mean at least in the first "Alligator" movie the actors were enjoyably corny, but here they are just so boring.
The Special effects are horrible. The first Alligator had some pretty good puppets. They weren't great, but they were still alright. Here, most of the scenes with the alligator are just recycled footage form the first movie. Not to mention the fact that the actual size of the alligator radically changes. For most of the movie it's really big, but then in other scenes it's the size of a regular alligator.
In the end this movie is worth skipping. I say check out the first alligator and let this movie disappear into obscurity.
Yonggari (1999)
Compared to this, "GODZILLA" is the best movie ever made.
This is s**t. First let's talk about the acting. By god is it terrible. There is not one actor that sounds even slightly credible.
The plot is at least original, it's not at all good but it is original. It's been asleep for two hundred million years. Now it been awakened by aliens from another galaxy. The aliens are using Yonggary to destroy mankind.......never mind maybe it isn't so original.
Finally, lets address the special effect. For a while I thought that the CGI for "Adventures of a Teenage Dragonslayer" was the worst. But after seeing this, I mean wow. This doesn't even look finished. At least Teenage Dragonslayer tried to make it look good. Here it just feels like they didn't care. It's like the just threw up there hands and said "Really, who gives a s**t."
So in the end I really say that you stay away from this stinker, for as long as you like.
The Transformers: The Movie (1986)
You are not a Transformers Fan until you see this film!
Let me just get something out of the way, I love TRANSFORMERS, and this movie is pretty good. First let's address the acting. Unfourtudentally there is not much to say. Peter Cullen (as always) is great as Optimus Prime, and Orsen Wells if freaking fantastic as the main villain Unicron.
The Plot to the movie is this: The Autobots must stop a colossal planet consuming robot, named Unicron, who is after the Autobot Matrix, which symbolizes leadership. To be honest it's a pretty nice and simple plot.
The animation in this film is great.............well maybe not exactly great, but definitely pretty good.
So in the end, this movie is worth checking out for any Transformers fan, or really any fan of movies in general. I only wish I had more to say about it.
Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
This movie is okay.
The movie I am reviewing is exactly what you think it is. A cheesy slasher movie with teens getting hacked to death. The only think memorable about this movie is the fact that instead of one slasher villain, you get two.
The plot is this. Freddy Kruger is now stuck in limbo. He realizes that the only reason he is is because of the fact that no one is afraid of him any more because the adults of Springwood have managed to cover up the fact that he exists. So he figures out how to resurrect the Machete wielding Pyschopath, Jason Voorhees, and sends him to Springwood to wreak havoc. Freddy figures that if Jason stars murdering people in Springwood, people will think that he did it and the fear will return, but Jason ends up killing more people than need be, and starts becoming a problem to Freddy.
The fight scenes between the two slashers are pretty cool to watch, even if they do get kinda goofy at times. So who wins the final fight? Well thats up to the viewer to decide.
The acting in this movie is standard for a slasher movie. The two actors playing the slashers do good. But the others are pretty bad.
In the end although not a masterpiece this movie is fun to watch so check it out if you want a fun cheesy time.
I Was a 7th Grade Dragon Slayer (2010)
Harmless, but very forgettable.
This movie.........I guess it's good for kids, but if your a parent or adult...........or anyone above the age above 10, I do not recommend this movie at all. First I guess is should talk about the acting. The acting from Lea Thomson & Eric Lutes was good, but everyone else was just corny as holly hell. Lets move on to the storyline of this movie. Although it (thankfully) is not the worst story line of all time, but it just comes off as cliché and predictable. Branded as a 'nerd' and harassed by the school bully, 12-year-old Arthur is rescued by a magical troll who knows that the boy unwittingly holds the secret to defeat an evil dragon. Arthur's loving mom, struggling to keep her devious ex-husband from gaining custody of Arthur, dismisses her son's 'fantasies' until she realizes the all-too-real immediate danger and joins forces with Arthur, the troll, and a dashing but washed up video-game master. Together, they hope to conquer the dragon and the wicked vice-principal who threaten civilization. Special thanks to RA/AL for the synopsis. Now lets talk about what is easily the worst part of the movie, the effects. I know what you might be thinking. "Hey go easy on it it's an Indie film." My answer is that if you have a budget of only $3,250,000 then don't spend it on a fantasy movie. If anything, spend it on a drama or a (special effects-free) comedy movie! I mean the CGI in this movie make Ed Wood props look real! Okay maybe it isn't that bad, but you get what I'm saying! It still might be the worst CGI I have ever seen. So in the end this movie will keep you kids quiet on a winter night, but in the mean time stay away.
Tales from the Crypt (1989)
A very fun Horror show that remains faithful to the comics.
This was a pretty great show. The acting in this show was pretty good. Needless to say it wasn't great, but still good. My favorite actor, oddly enough was Larry Drake as the Psycho Path dressed as Santa Clause, in the episode "All through the house". A pretty damn good episode, Which involves a woman who just killed her husband, being stalked by, well, A killer wearing a Santa Clause suit. My favorite Episode of all is probably the episode called "Strung Along". This one is about an old puppeteer, who has married a younger woman that's cheating on him, he has an alter-ego named Coa-Coa, who is actually one of his puppets. Coa-Coa suspects that the wife is cheating on him, and wants to do something. This is a really great episode. The effects in this show are great. Especially the Crypt-keeper puppet. Hell, I want a f**king Crypt-keeper puppet. So in the end this was a pretty great show so check it out!
Batman Begins (2005)
Ovrrated
I don't really care for this movie. Needless to say it's not the worst Batman movie, but it's not the best either. Now remember this is just my opinion. First of all I don't think the acting in this film is good. Christian Bale is good as Bruce Wayne, but Goofy as Batman. Mainly because of that infamous growlish voice. Liam Neeson does good as Ra's Al Ghul. Needless to say I don't really like Ra's Al Ghul, but Liam Neeson does good as him. Scarecrows is the coolest of the two villains, but it's a shame that there's not much focus on him. Michael Kane is also great as Alfread. He's better than Michael Gough. Morgan Freeman also does a good job, but I need to ask one question. Is he in the comics? I just always wondered that. Now lets talk about what is easily the worst part of the movie and that is the action sequences. They are the worst of all time. The camera angles are annoying half of the time, I could not see what was going on. Also I really dislike the scene where Comisioner Gordon drives the Bat-Mobile. It always seemed Dumb. The story to this movie strikes me as not to interesting. When his parents a killed, millionaire playboy Bruce Wayne relocates to Asia when he is mentored by Henri Ducard and Ra's Al Ghul in how to fight evil. When learning about the plan to wipe out evil in Gotham City by Ducard, Bruce prevents this plan from getting any further and heads back to his home. Back in his original surroundings, Bruce adapts the image of a bat to strike fear into the criminals and the corrupt as the icon known as 'Batman'. But it doesn't stay quiet for long. Special thanks to FilmFanUk for the synopsis. In the end I don't know weather or not you should see it or not, but me I don't care for it.
Spider-Man (2003)
Not the best Spidey Cartoon but still entertaining
Out of all the Spider-Man cartoons, I think this one can be noted as being the darkest. It has plenty of death and plenty of swearing. It's almost seems like it's trying to be the best of the Spidey cartoons, unfortunately it's not. One problem is the voice actors. Surprisingly there not as good as the voice actors in the 1994 or 2008 series. There not terrible, but they never sound to convincing. Another downfall to this show, in my opinion, is the fact that there are not many Comic book villains. In fact there are only 5. But I will give them credit that this show probably has the best depiction of my favorite villain, The Lizard. The actually really get him right in this show. The animation in this show is probably better that the animation in all of the other Spider-Man cartoons. This animation is so great to look at. In the end, if you can find the DVD's or episodes on YouTube, check them out. Because this is a decent series.