The Archies (2023)

The Archies (2023): A Discordant Disaster with Star Kid Stumbles

The Archies" (2023) on Netflix is a cinematic catastroph. From its incoherent plot to unrecognizable characters, this film fails on every level. The misguided attempt at humor and a haphazard narrative make for a painful viewing experience.

What's truly cringe-worthy is the introduction of a new star cast, primarily consisting of star kids. Their performances are a masterclass in mediocrity, with wooden expressions and lackluster delivery that make you long for the days when acting was an art. The chemistry among the ensemble, if one could generously call it that, is non-existent, resulting in awkward and forced interactions that feel like a painful school play.

Cinematographically, the film is a jumbled mess, attempting to blend various styles without any cohesive vision. It's a visual assault that leaves you questioning the director's sanity. The iconic Archies characters are reduced to lifeless caricatures, and the once-charming dynamics among Archie, Betty, Veronica, and Jughead are lost in the sea of incompetence.

The soundtrack, featuring The Archies' music, is a feeble attempt to salvage the wreckage. Unfortunately, even the catchy tunes can't distract from the fact that this film is a prime example of how not to adapt beloved characters to the screen.

In conclusion, "The Archies" (2023) is a cringe-inducing disaster with a cast that epitomizes the worst in new-age star kids. Their performances, coupled with a chaotic plot and abysmal cinematography, make this film a regrettable addition to Netflix's library. Save yourself the agony, and bypass this zero-star debacle.