1883 (2021)

The Elsa Dutton's boring show

What a drag.

The story could have been told in 4 episodes. Instead, I had to endure the endless monologues of the main character, with the same damn soundtrack, over and over again.

What the main character thinks, is not that interesting!! Poor man's poetry in prose, that's what this is.

This reminded me of those kind of romance novels like "I married a viking" or "I'm in love with a cowboy", a bland "Nicholas Sparks" narrative, without much happening.

Was interesting in the beginning, then Elsa Dutton really started getting on my nerves. Story is not that interesting, the journey was not that interesting to be spread in 10 long episodes.

Too little butter scraped over too much toast, I kept watching, because of 1923 - a much better series, but damn, was this some kind of torture.

Willow (2022)

Worse than expected

Apparently:

• Disney kids can sustain heavy attacks from heavy weapons, without budging, from veteran warriors.

• 70s clothes are in fashion in Willow, so are beardless, spineless characters.

• before finishing an enemy you always swirl your weapon, because it's so "cool".

• turning your back to the enemy, several times, during combat seems to work
• if you're a queen, you should send your princes/kids to a suicidal quest, without any kind of escort, because the army apparently is too busy doing nothing.

• if you want to conceal a powerful sorcerer, paint her hair blond, leave her in your castle and let her fool around with your local "casanova".

The characters have the charisma of a potatoe. I could care less if any of the characters died during the show.

Where the hell did they get these kids, to make this mess? Who the hell scripted this?

The only constant actor is Warwick, on his role of Willow, all the rest either have a flash appearance or don't appear at all.

The Willow movie had strong characters, strong villains, strong warriors.

Here we have a bunch of kids, who's main foe is their own teenager dramas. The villains were bland, almost speechless and the Trolls were the most ridiculous Trolls since they fled Norway.

3 Stars, 2 for Willow, 1 for some landscapes. Between the mess of the casting, terrible soundtrack (getting worse towards the end of the series), forgettable villains and terrible script, nothing is let except for another cow being milked and a complete lack of new ideas.

After Life (2019)

Absolutely Brilliant!

What a show. A roller coaster of emotions from start to end.

Ricky Gervais is a brilliant actor and the casting and characters development were on a golden level.

It's a drama, it's a comedy, it's a life lesson full of memorable moments, awkward situations and full front honesty, British style.

Short episodes, but the right formula, like a gourmet menu full of small, delightful dishes, that keep you wanting more.

What a town, what an office, pub, unexpected visits, odd encounters, tears on my eyes both from laughing and almost crying.

Series 3 came full circle, is it final? Hope not, cause It surely will be missed.

Paranormal Lockdown (2016)

Perhaps the best one out there, thanks to Nick

I'm very skeptical regarding this kind of shows, but this one impressed me more than once.

Nick is the sensitive one and the one who's in contact with stuff happening around him.

Katrina is, unfortunately a waste of space here, she only sleeps during the nights, all covered up and nothing happens to her (why is she here in the first place at all).

There are some tools they use, that leave me even more skeptical, like the geo box for instance... that always make me smile in disbelief... but, the way the show is handled, the credibility of Nick and situations, makes me give this one a high rate.

Elvis (2022)

Messy collage of pictures and sounds - Elvis deserved much better

What a mess of a movie. I kept waiting for the collage of pictures, sounds, backtracks and confusing scenes to end...

Instead, it kept on and on, leaving me with a feeling of a bad cooked soup, a mix of short videos, back and forward flashes, slow motion scenes and misplaced music (even RAP was here.. come on!!!!).

Videoclips from the 80s had more consistency and logic than the way this was filmed.

Taking Elvis and turning him into an exploited victim, giving more relevance to the exploiter than him and shooting like a bad taste music video, was just wrong.

What a wasted opportunity to finally do justice to Elvis in a movie.

As it is, it's a "Moulin Rouge" in disguise and even the main actor can't save this from a total wreckage, when he's just taking part in short videos, constantly, all the time (and no, he doesn't look the part either).

España, la primera globalización (2021)

Global what???

Get your facts straight :D before Spain PORTUGAL started the first globalization, by discovering the maritim way to India, all the African coast, even Portuguese in Japan and, of course Brasil.

Spain AND Portugal started the globalization, with an arrogance as such to divide the world in half for each of them.

Get your facts straight.

The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020)

Starts well, goes down the drain fast

Wonderful atmosphere, a story reminding me of the classic "The Innocents", kept me interested for the first half, then rapidly goes down the drain.

Although it starts interesting enough and the acting being very good, the series becomes predictable, the plot uninteresting heading towards a very predictable ending.

It's like they changed directors and a new one came in, wanting to wrap it all up in a pointless, predictable mess.

Quite a shame, such a bunch of good actors (including the kids) in such a great scenery, but they sold this "house" short of surprises, full of expected behaviors and lame twists.

You (2018)

great series apart from some careless moves

Great series, reminding me of the iconic "Dexter".

Acting is top notch, specially from Penn Badgley, completely unknown to me, but capable of portraying the complex, lethal and sensitive character of Joe.

Victoria Pedretti on seasons 2 and 3 was just perfect. Quite a rollercoaster of great acting here.

All 3 seasons delivered, with enough twists and last episode chaotic situations, that left me thinking "how the hell he's he going to come out of this" on the last episodes.

I was very sceptic at first, specially due to some avoidable and quite dumb out of place pseudo-erotic mb scenes, but I kept the faith and was not disappointed.

Strong points: the twists, chaotic situations, unpredictable moves and pace, all with wonderful acting through and through.

Weaker points: imbecile erotic out of place moments (thankfully not many), terrible soundtrack that does not amaze or stay in the head (sorry) and dumb moves from Joe (and not only): not using gloves, using the same hat to hide himself (ala Clark Kent with his eyeglasses) and less attention to detail when we know he could be caught by doing the same mistakes over and over again.

But... it's a great series nonetheless. If you loved "Dexter", it's not on par, but delivers, in a more "modern", less careful way and sometimes even a bit more chaotic in the situations where Joe puts himself on.

Season 1 great, Season 2 good, Season 3 great again (don't understand the hate, really).

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (2022)

Boooooooooring

Animal cruelty, lack of pace, slow as hell, too much "serious" to be taken seriously.

What a boring piece of "movie". By middle of the film, I could care less of what happens to whom and how. The series of Fantastic Beasts started well in the first, the second was already poor, this one is terrible.

CGI is incredibly worse than HP in 2001. With 21 years in between, that tells me something regarding what producers care above movies anymore. The wall portals, so badly animated, without any dust on the other end, were so badly made that they looked like animated gifs (this is just a taste of the terrible work they did here).

Slow motion everywhere, as if the movie was not slow itself, perhaps for watchers to be aware of details can could be resumed in 30 seconds of pure ridiculous action on such a ridiculous plot.

HP had strong characters, story, mood, atmosphere for the whole series.

This series is dead after the 2nd hit, buried on the third.

After seeing this, I'm glad that Depp was not on this total garbage (he's much better an actor to be involved anymore on this excuse of money grabbing "cinema").

What a complete waste of time and I bet a lot of kids, teenagers and even grown-ups felt asleep on the cinema.

Immortals (2011)

filmed in a bathroom

Was watching this movie the other day with my son.

Suddenly he said "this movie was filmed in a bathroom".

I cannot find better words to describe this. It goes back and forward from a cliff and rooms that more resemble a bathroom than a sort of palace.

The plot is badly told, story uninteresting and the villain is always there, in this "bathroom" tiled hellhole, with what must be a miserable life.

Characters that lack charisma, uneven story, plot and pace, just another movie trying to copycat 300 (among others) and fails miserably in style, pace and interest.

It's an odd movie, that just doesn't stick.

Operation Mincemeat (2021)

who the hell cares?

Plot: "During WWII, two intelligence officers use a corpse and false papers to outwit German troops"

With such an "interesting" plot, you either make magic out of nothing, or you don't.

No magic here.

X (2022)

Terrible

It isn't a porno movie, it isn't an erotic movie, it isn't an horror or suspenceful movie.

It isn't anything, but a total waste of time.

Takes too long for anything to finally happen and when it does, it is totally predictable.

What a terrible waste of time watching sex clichés, exagerated old age stereotypes and a complete lack of suspence, horror or anything worthwile.

Why even bother wasting money or time filming this?

The Northman (2022)

A Brutal and Beautiful Tale

From the cast to the epic score, this is a movie to remember and rewatch over and over again.

What a wonderful piece of cinema, very rare to witness this days.

From Skarsgard to Anya, from Nicol to Claes, everyone was spot on the acting, presence and charisma necessary to carry this masterpiece over the top among the competition, with a special mention to Daffoe and Hawke's incredible moments.

It's a movie made with a fine taste for ancient viking culture, with a simple story done in such an epic way.

The fight scenes, the mysticism of it all, left me wanting more after it finished.

The music score was perfect from beginning to the end, giving such a mood I haven't heard since Conan the Barbarian.

The Icelanding landscapes were beautifuly shot, it's a movie or rare beauty and yet so violent and brutal, as the Sagas of old.

A lesson to other producers, you don't need over the top CGI effects or to mix every race on a misplaced time, to make a good movie.

Done with respect to the norsemen culture, with some understandable liberties here and there, but never losing ground on what a good Viking/Norse movie should be and never I saw a berserker so wonderfully portrayed - Alexander deserves an oscar right there, right now.

The fight scenes were brutal, many were shot in a very close and detailed way in one take shots, reminding me of the masterpiece of Gibson's "Apocalypto" camera work. The final battle was one of the most epic fighting scenes, since the duel in Troy.

All in all, an epic masterpiece not to be missed, but not for the faint of heart, this is a brutal story, told in such a beautiful way, with a good balance between reality and myth, between Hamlet and Beowulf (you will see what I mean).

Praise Odin, this is pure Epic.

The Batman (2022)

Powerful comeback

I went to see this without any expectations and very sceptic regarding the choice of Robert Pattinson as the caped crusader.

I'm just glad I went to see this last night with my kid.

Finally a comeback to Batman's true dark origins. I can honestly say this is on par with Tim Burton's Batman, but in a more serious tone.

The start of the movie was brilliant, Batman's first appearance was epic to say the least.

Robert Pattinson is Batman, one of the best performances of the caped crusader, together with Zoë Kravitz sensual and perfect Catwoman. Colin Farrel is irrecognizable as Oz and Torturo's and Serkis roles were great to say the least.

This movie is DARK, as a good old Batman's comic should be. Batman is tall, scary, agile, resourceful and strong. The fear factor worked perfectly since the beginning.

The sountrack's opening with Nirvana's epic "Something in the Way" was perfect, setting the dark tone overall, with a very well built music and strong sound effects.

The car chase scene was the weakest point, with far too many close ups and left me struggling to understand what was going on and how the Batmobile looked like.

There's something very deep in this movie, something far beyond the action, something very intimate, deadly and dangerous, touching the edges of lunacy and how people with issues can differ on life choices for the good and bad.

It left me wanting more, but at the same time pleasantly satisfied.

What a masterpiece. DC did everything right with this one (or almost) and makes me wonder how Marvel/Disney cant learn from this school of cinema, because they are being teached a lesson how a proper hero movie should be.

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)

What a terrible mess

What a complete mess of a movie. Since Disney bought the franchise it is becoming more and more ridiculous over the years.

Let's turn Spiderman into a multiverse mess, with Dr. Strange playing God and even bringing actors from actually good movies to try and save it all in the end.

Wrong suit (again), Peter Parkers have a tendency to not wear a mask, even in the middle of a sandstorm, ridiculous MJ, ridiculous plot, terrible CGI that defies gravity everywhere (again).

What the hell did I just see? Me and my kid were looking into eachother in desbelief.

Has Disney and Marvel lost all sense of good story writing? Is the Spiderman universe so limited in good villains to have to recicle old villains and even old Peter Parkers into this mess? Read some old comics and learn why Spiderman was one of the most inventive and interesting characters in Marvel.

This looked like a mix between a Dr. Strange movie and an Avengers movie, let's bring all the toys together, make a big soup of the script and in the end rub it all out with some godlike spells.

Spiderman deserves better, Stan Lee deserves better.

Disney should sell their Marvel rights and give the franchise to someone capable of doing justice to the real Spiderman.

What's next? Obviously another terrible Venom impersonation (perhaps from another actor) that finally confronts Spiderman (again) as if it wasn't already done in the past (and in a better way)

Read some real comics, you will better served than this.

The Last Duel (2021)

A story well told

This could end up wrongly in so many ways.

The story is simple, but told in 3 different views. The Duel is nothing short of spectacular and quite faithful to the real historic accounts.

3 great actors, Matt, Adam and Jodie tell us their version of the events, one of them probably the most faithful version.. up to the watcher to decide.

Photography on spot, with a necessary slow boil until the final action scene, with scenes of rare beauty and taste.

Soundtrack is reminiscent of "Kingdom of Heaven" (very similar on the end of the movie).

Ridley delivers yet again an epic, this time almost on a Shakespearian level and, like someone mentioned already, reminding us of a "Rashomon" style of counting the tale in several versions (but all necessary).

All in all a great movie that kept me on my "nerves" until the end. Who was the real hero, is for you to decide, but it shows how the middle ages were at the time towards women (unfortunately still happens today in some places).

Great story telling and I wish Riddle keeps with more period dramas or even epics, he has the talent to deliver and usually does.

No Time to Die (2021)

Predictable nonsense

By the middle of the movie, you can already guess the ridiculous ending a la X-Men.

Not even the clichés from the past could save this one. The plot is so ridiculous, it deserved a ridiculous end I guess.

Suddenly James Bond is in "loooooove" and is a father... but decides to die in the end, instead of running out of there... right... He did not want to live without being close to his "looooooove" and child.... really?

Since when did Bond became that sentimental and depressed enough to end his own life?

Also, what was that scene from Lafin, to wait for him to come back and catch him in a puddle of water (with a convenient flask of "poison"?

Come on!!!! The guy could be bluffing the whole time and 007 decides to end his own life? Was he on anti-depressants or something?

Way to go on ruining the longest franchise on cinema.

Outlander (2014)

Scotland deserved better

Being a fan of Scotland and the highlander spirit, I gave this series a shot, specially after visiting (finally) Scotland, being the trip of my life.

Show started well, with some iconic landscapes, landmarks and castles that I visited, it was good to remember my own journey and think "I was there".

The plot.. ah.. the plot, I guess it can please many unsatisfied wives out there, dreaming of a parallel life, with another "dream" person.. it's full of romantic cliches and the plot holes in Claire's love for her husband start to show, in an "no turn" way of events regarding her sentiments for her new found lover.

It was interesting at times, but then the completely avoidable rape scene happened and cast a shadow over the reason why I was watching this in the first place. It was almost comparable to the rape scene of "Irreversible", too long, violent and completely nonsense to be presented as such. A smaller version would have the same effect, instead I was watching this guy being sodomized and humiliated for almost a full episode.

That left a bitter taste on the first series, I never was able to look into Jamie or Frank in the same way. People can say it was just like in the book, well, the "English Patient" would not have the same impact as a movie if the guy was doing with a corpse would it? (yes, it's in the book).

Some scenes are avoidable or can be shortened, we got the message, no need to have almost an entire episode based on that.

Then I tried to watch Season 2... well, suddenly Claire and Jamie are on the french court, completely changed to french ways of the court, with all the ridiculous costumes and wigs of the time... yeah right.. since I'm not a fan of that age (except for 3 musketeer themed movies) it was time for me to forget the series and never come back again, specially when Frank is also on Paris (you can guess what happens, right?).

From time to time I still catch it on tv and never regret the decision, it seems it evolved on the back and forward travels but the theme is always the same, a romance over periods, with soft erotic scenes here and there. How this got so many episodes, it's a mystery but then in nowadays, its no wonder).

Cry Macho (2021)

So much East of Eastwood

Let's be frank. I'm an Eastwood fan, but the script and acting, apart from Clint, were very poor.

Story had so many "improbable" moments, so many "really?" moments that it was really hard to watch.

Top of the cake, Eduardo Minett's acting... come on, he doesn't look the part, act the part, talk the part, even the rooster could give him acting lessons for what is worth.

Very predictable, very nonsense, hard to believe the "stud" moments, the out of nowhere ruffians, the flirt with a guy older than her grandpa, the car chases, the whole mess of everything.

Is it a last goodbye? I hope not, good to see Clint still doing it, but he can do so much better than this (only good actor in the movie).

It is what it is, a very poor effort, only watched cause it's Clint, but so much East of Eastwood.

The Karate Kid (2010)

Misplaced title, reused theme, but entertaining

This movie should be called "The Kung Fu Kid. This is not Karate, it's Kung Fu and the story is almost exactly the same as Karate Kid (part I).

Why they did a retelling of the story with Kung Fu, I have no idea. One thing is for sure, it was nice to see Jackie Chan as the Kung Fu master, unwilling to teach an young student, victim of bullying.

It's a retelling? Yes, it's well made? Yes. It's Karate? No, it's Kung Fu, but the movie entertains, does his job right and could be compared to at least Karate III and IV for entertainment values.

Should not be included in the series, but I dare say it's a fine addition to Jackie Chan's hundreds of movies and perhaps Jadens Smith's best role in his career.

The Virtuoso (2021)

Watchable but gets worse towards the 3/4

Movie started well, very well actually, enough to keep me interested until the end, but the constant holes on the script and incoherent mistakes for a "Virtuoso" kinda ruined it.

Anson Mount plays the lead role wonderfuly and I keep wondering why this guy is not chosen for more movies (even for the "The Witcher" series he would be on par with "Mr. Superman" on the character).

With such good actors in, It was a surprise to not see Anthony Hopkins playing a more meaningful role on the story.

It was the great beginning and middle that kept me to the end. It was the good acting and noir looks that kept me interested and trying to ignore the obvious mistakes the main character was doing.

All in all, could be much better, but compared to the movie trash that is coming out lately, this is almost a masterpiece - and could have been if more character build-up was in and more plot-holes were out.

Amber's Descent (2020)

Slow burning mystery that could be a LOT better

I just gave one of the worst reviews on IMDB after trying to see this movie, having quit after watching for 40 minutes, however, something kept telling me to watch it until the end.

I guess I quit before the movie started developing more, since it slowly burns until it starts getting interesting.

All I can say is, it could be a LOT better. The photography is spot on, the house, colors and even garden are a must, but the slow pace can get boring for a long time if you have no pacience for slow burning mysteries.

Actor wise, it's no nomination for awards, but Kayla Stanton is perhaps the best actor on this, all the rest varies from very bad (sorry Michael Mitton) to getting the job done.

What the movie lacks is more suspense, to build the tension more until you get scared, to develop a bit more when anything relevant happens. As it stands it fails to scare and to take advantage of the mood to build a proper horror, haunting movie.

If a door is to be closed or open, let it happen at the right time, with the right music tone, with the right reaction from the actors. Sometimes I felt there was no reaction to really scary situations and this is where the main actor (Kayla) fails, failing to convince she was really terrified.

Want a good example of a very low budget movie, with 3 actors only that is a masterpiece? Watch "The Dead Room (2015)" - this is the kind of suspense I am talking about.

On top of all this, the ending seemed rushed and somehow fell in the old cliche of "let's confuse the viewer and in the end we just frame it in one word". It somehow ruined the whole movie for me.

As a curiosity, I found someone crouching on a corner of a scene that supposedly should not be there, I think this was not on purpose and it's towards the middle of the movie.

All in all, a below average mystery haunting movie, that could be so much more if the right elements were there, but a good effort nonetheless and very watchable, if you have a real taste for slow pace movies.

Reunion (2020)

I just wasted 40 minutes of my time

.... then I did a fast forward and wasted 8 minutes more....

It's that bad. They had the materials to do a good movie, good photography, nice looking house.... but were they really expecting someone to take this poorly written script to be taken seriously?

Boredom to death, I could watch raindrops falling on my window and be more entertained than this.

Knightfall (2017)

Kept me interested until the end

Great series, highly recommended if you like medieval times and stories of chivalry. Watch it with a open mind, this is entertainment, not an history lesson. Although far fetched in historical terms, there are a lot of historical events happening at the same time that really did happen. Excellent actors, fight sequences, plot twists and atmosphere that kept me interested until the end. Excellent acting by Tom Cullen, Padraic Delaney, Ed Stoppard, Simon Merrells, Julian Ovenden, but to mention these, is to cut short the high quality of actors displayed in this series, like Jim Carter and Mark Hamill in one of his finest roles ever. See past the first episode and you will be glued. If you want historical accuracy, avoid like the plague and grab an history book, if you like the knights Templar and want to be entertained, simply watch this.

Hoping there is a third series... pretty please!

Relic (2020)

Wasted 1 hour and an half of my life

Slow pace, nothing wrong with that, it it led me to somewhere. Good acting, good atmosphere, the movie had everything to be great, but slowly built up to nothing. No explanations in the end, I thought it was yet another case of humidity. Perhaps that's it, it all comes down to humidity, slowly building up until the actors, story, scenery and even the viewer is wrapped up in humidity. Let's build a mystery and confuse the audience in the last 20 minutes with nonsense, delusional and an unexplained ending, full of.... humidity. Perhaps this is scary for some, what scares me is that people are losing their minds for the past 15 years, with such ridiculous scripts, failing to delivery anything worth remembering.