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Broadcast News (1987)
THE NEW FRONT PAGE
THE GOOD
1. Fast paced inside look at TV news.
2. Snappy dialogue, not as fast as The Front Page but then nothing else is.
THE BAD
1. No one articulates their emotions this well, this quickly, with exposition stuffed in too. So we get well composed, catty little psych 101 jabs. Some people seem to like those.
2. Brooks is a one trick pony in the romance department. Probably due to his experience in sitcoms, love almost never works out. If it did, the tensions between the leads end, and so must the show. So the leads must dangle, and thats when we see the plot mechanically creaking along.
3. Holly Hunter is a miserable little control freak here. Yuck.
THE WEIRD
1. Obsessing over straightforward, accurate news? How quaint. The op eds gobbled up the front pages long ago, and the big 3 network news programs have lost their monopoly to online media.
BOTTOM LINE: Enjoy the fast pace, fine performances and pithy dialogue. But pay no attention to that man behind the curtain, or else you'll get restless.
Chloé (1996)
Teen hooker alert
Now on hulu plus. This stereotypical made for TV teen hooker horror story is better than usual due to the fine acting of Marion Cotillard and Anna Karina; unnecessary but welcome nudity; and careful direction, lighting and camera work. It also shows more graphic sex and violence than USA made for TV movies.
SPOILER ALERT! Marion is a pretty 15 year old girl with no papa and a remote mother, so she runs away and ends up in the clutches of a typical vicious pimp, i.e. maquereau, ponce, etc. He is one of a long parade of lecherous scheming corrupt men, who wear down Marion's basic decency and self respect. In fact, no other type of man ever appears in her world. The Stockholm syndrome is in full effect. The only bright spot is Anna Karina, an older woman running a club in the seedy part of town who knows Marion's secrets all too well. It was a pleasant surprise to see Anna, who played Marion's role in VIVRE SA VIE [1962], directed by Jean Luc Godard. That movie ended with Anna's murder. Thankfully, here the good are rewarded and the bad are punished. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, that's why it's called fiction.
Marion was a skilled actress even at this early stage of her career, and she has improved since then. P.S. It seems like every leading French actress, even Catherine Deneuve, has to endure this degrading type of material.
Roller Town (2011)
Roller disco will never die
WARNING SPOILER ALERT! Saw this on Netflix recently. This is a laid back, deadpan spoof of the roller disco movie subgenre: Roller Boogie, Xanadu and The Apple. Those movies are great in a so bad its good way. This movie's entire plot is lifted directly from Roller Boogie, which in turn is the ancient let's put on a show or hold a contest and save the fill in the blank from the evil business man and his hench men story. Just add a typical working class guy falls in love with classy girl subplot.
It kicks off with our hero dressed in the same clothes and colors as the hero of Roller Boogie, working the same type of skate rental booth. The heroine is a pudgy Linda Blair type but with less sex appeal. Her acting is pretty good, but... Linda Blair's admission to Julliard morphs into our heroine's admission to a roller skating conservatory, whatever that is. Once in awhile The Boogaloos, a ridiculous mythical disco trio, appear and shoot miraculous rainbows at everyone. This is a "tribute" to Xanadu. Finally, the God of Disco drives up in a Batmobile painted gold, a "tribute" to the deus ex machina in The Apple. It's all just silly fun.
As other reviewers note, many jokes fall flat, but don't blame Canada. Maybe just Nova Scotia. Occasionally something truly funny pops up, like the "double dicker" scene at the 26 minute mark. And the additional credits at the end are a blast, listing executive executive, thought unfurler, fart wrangler, etc. Bottom line: nice try, but crank up the yuks.
The Picasso Summer (1969)
Picasso's Personal Stalker
Other reviewers cover the basics but miss some points. As a threshold issue, a work of art is composed in order to lead the human eye and brain to perceive it in a certain sequence, creating movement and tension between the work's elements. See e.g the composition of The Wreck Of The Medusa. Picasso excelled at this even before WW I, so the animation is superfluous. However, it is trippy and fun, in a dated way. Picasso died in 1973, so he was alive when this movie was made. I'd like to know what he thought of it, but I'm too lazy to research it further.
Next, the movie assumes that Picasso is the ultimate artist, but the script isn't articulate enough to really say why. How dare anyone question this? Well, Picasso is brilliant, but he put out a lot of crap too, some of which is on display here. Personally, I prefer Les Demoiselles D'Avignon.
Evocative soundtrack and cinematography, slim story. Thank you once more, Vilmos Zsigmond! In fact, this movie almost looks like an excuse for the producers to live it up on OPM (other peoples' money) on the Cote D'Azur. Hey, it happens.
SPOILER ALERT! Next, Albert Finney's character is a stalker who can afford to ditch his job and then his wife so he can pursue his obsession with Picasso in a childish, ineffective way. He rings Picasso's doorbell and is rebuffed, probably for good reason; turns into a drunken idiot at the 57 minute mark for no apparent reason; and then takes up bullfighting. Far too much nonsense has been written about that sport, which boils down to sadistic torture of a poor animal for entertainment or other pure BS reasons before killing it. Hey dude, don't play with your food!
Yvette Mimieux is pretty tolerant of Finney's floundering, and she fills out a bikini very nicely. Her chic outfits still look great. Best of all, she quickly grasps what her jackass husband takes the entire movie to figure out: the joy is in the doing, not the finishing. Ironically, the movie's ending is poetic and poignant. I give this one a 5 for its artistic aspirations, and for Yvette, who was poetry in motion.
Drop Dead Fred (1991)
Why So Frumpy, Phoebe?
I did enjoy the crude humor throughout, but see two big problems with this movie. First, the two leads misfire. Of course Phoebe Cates must be frumpy and repressed so she can blossom later, but this means hiding Phoebe's best qualities as an actress for most of the movie. That is a big mistake. Why do producers insist on turning pretty girls into unattractive miserable ones? As for Rik Mayall, the Brits can keep him, and they have. So the two leads are respectively neutered and irritating, right up until Phoebe's booger attack, which is the climax,and best scene in the entire movie. She should have attacked her mom too, just for kicks. Unfortunately we see very little blossoming thereafter, and the movie ends with a thud.
Second, the underlying message of this movie is that destructive behavior leads us to emotional growth and a happier life. In other words, give in to your irrational urges to endanger others and damage their property. It will make you a better person! For example, was it REALLY necessary for Phoebe to wreck her friend's houseboat in order for her to learn how to talk back to her overbearing mother and ditch her sleazy fiancé? Evidently yes. But destructive behavior does NOT always, or usually, lead to enlightenment. Frankly only people who can't understand normal thinking would write or believe this.
PS If there is a remake, don't forget the boogers.
Boundaries of the Heart (1988)
Heartbreak Hotel
SPOILER ALERT! A small dreary film set in a small dreary Aussie town full of friendly but nosy drunks. A fading beauty and her fugitive celebrity father run the only hotel and bar. Her admirers drifted away as the town shrank, leaving only one bitter ex-suitor. Their tiny world is shaken up by the arrival of two outsiders. A woman stays to marry the father, a man can't wait to escape the now desperate beauty's clutches.
The good: this movie is well written, well directed, well acted. Wendy Hughes and John Hargreaves are excellent as usual. The bad: Sort of an Aussie Last Picture Show, but much less interesting visuals and story. Frankly, the subject matter is a downer. The weird: Considering the fact that this tiny town is surrounded by the vast stark beauty of Western Australia, the movie feels claustrophobic. Bottom line: I'd rather watch Sirens again for the "scenery". This one gets a five because Wendy Hughes is always worth watching.
The Dark Side of the Sun (1988)
Boy in the Bubble remake
SPOILER ALERT The thin story is a close copy of The Boy in the Plastic Bubble, all the way through. Just change bubble to leather suit, and add motorcycle.
The good: Cheryl Pollak is very pretty and sparkly, as always. The Yugoslavian coastal scenery is carefully filmed and looks great. Brad takes off his shirt, if you like that sort of thing.
The bad: Cheryl Pollak sings. Twice! Her idiot friends. Brad Pitt's untrained voice. The motorcycle "race" on the beach. Brad conceals his true identity from Cheryl for no real reason.
The weird: When we first see Brad Pitt's face at the 35 minute mark, he is dressed like James Dean in Rebel Without A Cause: jeans, white tee shirt and red jacket. The R rating for showing one topless girl for a few seconds. The Adriatic coast is famous for its nude beaches, so what's the big deal? Brad plays with a dolphin, which would normally violate the Marine Mammal Protection Act. Brad's spaced out mom in a wheelchair shows up at the end for no reason. And most importantly, why does Brad kill himself right after sleeping with his true love? Most guys come back for more.
Bottom line: a lightweight romance, sprinkled with eye candy and oddball choices. Gave it a 5 because I like Cheryl in almost anything.
The Cool Ones (1967)
A retro blast
SPOILER ALERT Whiny wannabe star Debbie Watson is a Deborah Walley clone (the original was bad enough) who went nowhere after this movie, the pouty male lead is a stiff, and the music is terrible.
But we must admire record producer Roddy McDowell's purple convertible Lincoln with white and purple striped upholstery, his private jet, and swinging bachelor pad. And the scenery is classic Southern California: Palm Springs Tramway, Olvera Street, Valley Music Center, Ascot Speedway, and a white Excalibur sports car with chrome pipes cruising Sunset Blvd.
Roddy, the antihero in Lord Love A Duck, is wacky record producer Tony Krum. Roddy may have served as the model for Z Man, the teen tycoon of rock in Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls. But in retrospect it looks like both Roddy and Z Man were based upon Phil Spector, whose notorious antics were already legend. Nita Talbot is far too pretty to be disposable, but she is thrown away anyway. No visible drugs or booze, but everyone's head is scrambled. Bottom line: a retro blast.
Dirty O'Neil (1974)
Sexploitation in Newhall, CA
SPOILER ALERT: A good humored soft core account of one small town cop's effortless conquest of every nubile female inside city limits, except the one he really wants. On the rare occasions when his pants are on, he coaches the girls' basketball team, battles creeps, and dispenses justice.
Production values, acting and dialogue are above average for the genre, which isn't saying much. The sexually permissive bevy of beauties includes super hot model Anitra Ford of Invasion of the Bee Girls; incandescent Liv Lindeland, Playmate of the Year; and even a college friend of mine working bottomless!
Bottom line: Good for giggles and beer. Early seventies time capsule of consequence free sex; not for your woman or kids due to topless and bottomless scenes; little violence. Available on netflix instant streaming.
The Thousand Plane Raid (1969)
Bombs Away
WARNING SPOILER ALERT: A low budget Quinn Martin style version of the USAA bombing runs into Germany in 1943. Long range fighter escorts were not available then, and the B17s didn't have chin turrets to protect against head on attacks until later, so the bombers suffered high loss rates.
Update: According to wikipedia this was actually a Royal Air Force raid on Cologne (Koln), so this film's historical accuracy as to the USAAF's planning for and participation in the raid is doubtful.
Despite the participation of some of the best stunt pilots in the business, and despite their flying a B17 WAY too low, this film has a poor reputation among airmen who know better. Bonus: about half way through the film, Chris George and Laraine Stephens talk in his office. Just before she tells him she loves him, he takes off his hat, rubs the back of his neck, and flips the bird. Her face and the bird are in the same shot. I'd love to hear the story behind THAT one.
The Gay Sisters (1942)
taming of the shrew
WARNING: SPOILER ALERT! Other reviews cover the basics. Some complain that the story withholds information in order to create suspense, but that is standard practice. And the dialogue about the effects of losing parents and of divorce upon children is sound. Very good supporting cast, cinematography, and score.
As usual, Barbara Stanwyck is a flaming bitch, oops, "strong woman", but at least here she has some reasons to squawk. As usual, George Brent underplays, and acts the decent fellow. His gentlemanly approach explains his popularity, and is misunderstood by other reviewers.
On the other hand, he does accept cash for a quickie divorce; commits marital rape during his brief marriage to Barbara; tries to throw the sisters out of their home; and again seduces Barbara at the end of the movie, telling her by way of explanation that she hates anything that would make her happy. So according to the script, Barbara only needed a "real man" to steer her towards her biological imperative, and to show her who is boss. Apparently this was acceptable to 1942 audiences, or at least to the studio. It just doesn't sit well with viewers now. Bottom line: George tamed this shrew.
P.S. Agreed, it's a bit surreal to see Gig Young play Gig Young.
Le dolci signore (1967)
fickle beauties run amok
WARNING MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS: Now on netflix but otherwise hard to find in the USA. This Italian style sex farce has a great cast, including four of the greatest European beauties of the sixties; an amusing and absurd script; and inept production values. The meager plot? Four prosperous married women, friends since they were known as "the four virgins" at school, all commit serial adultery. Their husbands are oblivious, or even enable them to carry on scandalously.
Ursula Andress beds men who resemble her father, despite her hapless handsome spouse Brett Halsey. Virna Lisi can't keep track of who she has sex with, or in what car. Marisa Mell is an accidental stripper. And Claudine Auger's wealthy husband stupidly hands her off to a younger man. Mr. Cassel, a masterful French farceur in other films, e.g. The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie, is just another goofy cuckold here.
The characters' opulent life styles are dazzling: bold op art clothes, white furs, mansions, shiny new Ferraris and Lancias. Bottom line: a flashy farce with gorgeous women and clueless husbands, blending class envy and warfare.
Spellbinder (1988)
Don't SACRIFICE your time for this
Saw this on netflix recently. WARNING: SPOILER ALERT! This movie is a waste of time for 2 reasons. 1. It shouldn't take an entire movie for the coven to select and sacrifice only ONE rather stupid victim. With Kelly Preston as bait, they could snag one man in 10 minutes, or kill dozens each weekend, and with far less work. But NO, the script drags us through an unnecessarily elaborate set up, and then boring plot twists, just like a high school girl tormenting a nerd with the run around. The Wicker Man, original version, is a masterpiece compared to this movie. 2. Not enough nudity. Bottom line: fast forward through this turkey, stopping only to admire a young Kelly Preston.
Rome Adventure (1962)
Mid-Century Eye Candy
SPOILER ALERT Troy Donahue deserves further consideration. Yes, he's wooden; but what about that soapy script? And maybe Troy did what the director told him to do, as opposed to what Troy could or wanted to do with his role. Anyway, give the dude a break. He put butts in the seats, and he looks great just standing there.
Another theme was fairly new in 1962: After Suzanne Pleshette meets slinky Angie Dickinson, she fears that she cannot compete with Angie for Troy's love because Angie is more sexually experienced. Yikes! Looks aren't enough anymore! Should Suzanne practice with Mr. Brazzi?
This downside to female virtue was seldom discussed so openly in movies before, probably due to censorship issues, and due to our cultural assumptions. Here, Suzanne worries needlessly, because Troy greets her in NY with the obviously symbolic gold candlestick. The message is clear: these two lovebirds will work it out.
As a warning to young girls, we are shown the downside of experience, namely Angie trapped by a Howard Hughes type control freak. Bottom line: It's OK, they're engaged. Enjoy the mid-century eye candy.
Les anges exterminateurs (2006)
Kitsch plus Cocteau
French film makers are prone to mixing banal philosophy and soft core porn. Their tiresome philosophies of pleasure are ALWAYS mere justification for voyeurism and mental masturbation for the predominantly male viewers, some of whom evidently hope that their wives and girlfriends will be stimulated too. They can thus escape the horrors of monogamy, if only in their minds. This transparently false justification is the essence of kitsch. On an intellectual level this film is no better than Exit To Eden, which also justified voyeurism and diluted forms of perversion with the same pretentious twaddle. But at least we are spared from seeing men in G strings and Rosie O'Donnell in a black corset and fishnet stockings. The borrowings from Orphee are obvious. Death is a sinister beauty, corrupt police do her work, and coded radio messages appear at random. Even the title borrows from Bunuel. However, little is done with these elements. They are tiny bits of brain candy for the critics, like finding Waldo. We do see some pretty girls, but they are mostly insane. BOTTOM LINE: For men who need a jump start.
For Those Who Think Young (1964)
silly beach movie
other reviewers cover the basics. Two often overlooked points: In the surreal, primitive "HO DADDY" beach dance, Bob Denver's bearded, singing Topo Gigio face is rather obscene even by today's standards. It could not have been an accident. In Pamela Tiffin's big confrontation scene, she is shot from the only angle which reveals her bad teeth. Again, this could not have been an accident. She must have angered the production team, or must have previously insisted on NOT being shot from that angle. It could have been done just to get her angry for the scene; but for whatever reason it worked and she did get furious. Too bad she left for Europe shortly afterwards; she was gorgeous. The less said about Woody Woodbury the better. Even Paul Lynde and their very muted gay schtick couldn't liven things up. Bottom line: put your brain on cruise control, have a Tab and rum, and go to a bright and shiny place.
Slattery's Hurricane (1949)
This Hurricane Movie Doesn't Blow
SPOILER ALERT: Think of this as Miami Vice, circa 1949. It has adultery, addicts, and drug dealing gangsters living in a mansion on the water with a private dock and hanger. All it needs are pastel colors and a Ferrari.
The movie starts off with a guilt ridden Richard Widmark flying into a hurricane, reflecting on his screwed up life. We learn in a late reveal that his downward spiral started during WW2 when he was a Navy pilot who disobeyed orders, broke formation and bombed and sank a Jap cruiser. He was punished, not rewarded, so he left the Navy and was paid very well to fly a private Grumman Mallard around the Caribbean on errands for wealthy but shady Italian "candy distributors" from Chicago. Nudge nudge wink wink, but the word Mafia is not used.
His girl Veronica Lake is an addict, but this was deemphasized and she is given little to do. She just complains about being sick, and looks like dog food. This is sad since the movie was made only seven years after Lake's dazzling magic act in This Gun For Hire. Considering that Lake's husband Andre De Toth was the director, and that they were trying to restart her career, they did a horrible job. Anyway, Widmark runs into his old Navy pal John Russell and his hot wife Linda Darnell, who had previously been Widmark's girl friend. Widmark immediately reignites the old flame, and they start an affair. Jumping on your best friend's wife is bad form and they know it, but that doesn't stop them. In sum, Widmark does a fine job of acting like a creep on many levels.
There are good aerial scenes with the Grumman Mallard, and Widmark's pal takes him on a ride through a hurricane in a four engine weather plane, probably a Privateer which is a B-24 with a single tail.
Of course Widmark hits bottom and his shady life style falls apart because The Wicked Are Punished, at least in the movies. A drug deal involving an absurdly small amount of white powder goes sour, and heavies are sent to kill Widmark. His pal learns about the affair, gets drunk and attacks him. Since the pal is in no condition to fly into an approaching hurricane, his Navy career will be ruined. Thus Widmark, feeling guilty as hell, snags a plane and flies solo into the hurricane, gathering crucial data for the hurricane warning system. Good footage of wind and wave damage is spliced in. Widmark's heroic act redeems him; he rejoins the Navy and is even belatedly decorated for his WW2 feat of arms. He takes an overseas assignment and wisely ditches Lake. After being a creep for most of the movie, Widmark straightens up and flies right after all. Other pilots' wives are safe - for now.
Madame Du Barry (1934)
See Through Del Rio
This ran recently on TCM, but is otherwise hard to find. Worth watching, chiefly to see slender, graceful Dolores Del Rio flit around, on one occasion in a back lit see through gown with nothing underneath, while she chirps away in a unique, but credible, Mexican/French accent. Dolores wasn't the first manic pixie dream girl, but she is one of the best.
Her saucy behavior as the King's mistress includes singing this mischievous gem: "King Louis and his fifteen thousand men/Had nothing to do one summer's night, so they DID IT again and again!"
The lavish sets and fine acting display the extravagant corruption of King Louis XV's court, and perhaps, the extravagant corruption of the wealthy and Hollywood in 1934 as well. The director has a light touch, creating a screwball mood. It all adds up to a surprisingly sophisticated film, deserving restoration and colorization. BC
The Wild Party (1975)
Not Wild Enough
SPOILER ALERT The then new Merchant Ivory team made some odd choices for this remake portrayal of old Hollywood decadence. It was shot at the Mission Inn in Riverside, California, a beautiful old mission style high end hotel. (The Nixons spent their honeymoon there.) So the production design and costumes are gorgeous, if dimly lit.
The late James Coco shows impressive range and talent as the jealous clown protagonist who hits rock bottom in front of everyone. For the record, Fatty Arbuckle, upon whom Coco's character was based, was much younger and more physically impressive.
Raquel Welch was at her peak, but she has a rather poorly written role. This is one of her many weird films; see, e.g. Myra Breckinridge.
Somebody, someday will film an orgy and make it look good and inviting, instead of the sweaty, nauseating nightmare here. Despite these complaints, the performances and production values hold up surprisingly well thirty years later. Worth a look.
Kunoichi ninpô-chô: Yagyû gaiden (1998)
Live Nude Ninjas!
A perfect late night cable movie. SPOILER ALERT Fetching lady ninjas, assisted by master swordsman Jubei, son of Yagyu, fight a corrupt lord and his demonic warriors. Some ladies do get killed off, but they take the bad guys out with them. This is all tied into establishing the Tokugawa shogunate in 1600s Japan, in a very roundabout way. A striking, incoherent jumble of vivid color cinematography, lightning fast edits, gory ninja fights, and supernatural revenge story. The FX laden fights are intricately choreographed, lit and shot. When the lady ninjas' tops come off, AND THEY ALWAYS DO, they fight injustice with their "nipple power pulse", and the even naughtier "returning echo". Bottom line: for jaded samurai fans who want that extra pinch of wasabi. BC
Pretty Things (2005)
how NOT to make a documentary
1. Too much time spent showing these classic fantasy girls in their caftan and muu muu dotage. They should have been properly introduced, then given voice overs while showing much more old footage and stills. If I want to look at grannies, I'll go to Palm Springs.
2. Classic film student error: making the movie all about the interviewer and her opinions, instead of the subjects. LG has some dance moves, she has the stems, and she could pass for Capucine if she bothered to make an effort. Hint: make up, hair down to shoulder length, and chic clothes. But spare us the awkward rehearsals en pointe, the undergrad feminism, and the ending. And let's face it, without implants LG is out of her league here.
3. Great movie moment: Zorita hands LG a tiny G string and gives her a look that speaks volumes about what she really thinks.
4. Bottom line: less cheese, more cheesecake, please. BC
Die große Liebe (1942)
Nazis in drag
The History Channel is running a series titled "Hitler's Women". One episode features Zarah Leander, clips from this movie, behind the scenes information, and its historical context. The high point for me came when the Nazi film studio UFA dressed Hitler's personal guard in drag, complete with FAIRY WINGS and heavy eye makeup, to stand behind Zarah in an ornate, Flo Ziegfeld style production number. They had to do this because Zarah was very tall, and UFA couldn't find enough tall, pretty women. Blow ups of stills from this scene clearly show the rather grim faced "chorus girls" were really men.
German actor Hans Blech, who later played the German officer who first sees the invasion in The Longest Day and a German aide to nasty Nazi Col. Hessler in The Battle of The Bulge, served in the German Army in WW2.
During the filming of this movie he recalls wearing a lieutenant's uniform as he walked backstage past the half dressed guards. He couldn't resist, and shouted "Achtung!" The guards instinctively snapped to attention, as their wigs went askew and their dresses fell off. Ah, Nazis in drag. Somebody oughta make a movie. BC
Cold Dog Soup (1990)
Shaggy Dead Dog Story
Flustered yuppie Frank Whaley tries to dump his lusty new date's dead dog so he can get back to the Sure Thing. His date Christine Harnos is definitely slinky, but it's unclear why she would ever be interested in pasty faced, nerdy Frank. Once I realized that she looks like Ralph Macchio with breasts, the party was over for me. Her name is Greek, and she looks Greek. Hmmm, ex-Beatle and exec producer George Harrison is Greek too. Cowinky-dink? I don't think so.
Randy Quaid is a great third wheel as the philosophizing lumpen proletariat taxi driver who guides the couple and dead dog in a bag through a picaresque series of bizarre scenes and characters. The unjustly neglected Nancy Kwan is hilarious as the restaurant owner who wants to make soup with the deceased's ears.
To recap, horny but decent guy finds Sure Thing, but rejects her on principle in favor of...what? Burying a dead dog in the park, and new deranged buddy Randy Quaid. What a lousy payoff. At least in the original The Sure Thing, when John Cusack rejected a very young Nicolette Sheridan, he got Daphne Zuniga.
Of course, in reality Frank would throw the dog down the trash chute in Christine's luxurious apartment building, then shag her rotten. But the movie would be over in 10 minutes, and we'd miss the grotesquery, and Frank's gradual realization that his principles are worth more than The Sure Thing. Actually, you can have both principles and sex, just not in this particular movie's universe. Suspend disbelief, and it's funny, if a bit predictable, stuff. BC
CIA Code Name: Alexa (1992)
Guilty Pleasures
SPOILER ALERT In this generic and forgettable action movie, Lorenzo Lamas does his usual tough guy/pretty boy act, and his future real life ex Kathleen Kinmont is ass kicking hot chick Alexa. OJ Simpson is a detective, coasting by on his since vanished genial public persona. Translation: cable TV filler. There isn't enough skin to qualify this as a Guilty Pleasure.
The script has some gaping holes. Best/Worst Moment: In one jarring scene, OJ's partner expresses his aversion to the morgue. OJ responds that some of the bodies are pretty hot, or words to that effect. This vague necrophilia reference is offensive enough; but in light of the murders committed shortly after this movie was released, it is truly appalling, and therefore entertaining in an unintentional, horrible way. I was so startled that I laughed until champagne came out of my nose. Now THAT'S a Guilty Pleasure. BC
The Wizard of Baghdad (1960)
Yiddish in Baghdad?
True, this turkey is hard to swallow. SPOILER ALERT The magic carpet's wires are visible, the talking horse is worse than Francis the talking mule, if that's possible, and the production values and schtick are lame, even by 1962 standards. Yet the seeds of Disney's animated "Aladdin" are here. After all, Dick Shawn is a Yiddish spouting, singing and dancing genie who turns the beefcake male lead into a prince, connives with Diane Baker [dolled up for once as a princess], and turns the bad guy into a parrot at the end. The Yiddish [in Iraq?] gets so thick that a character is named Sergeant Kvetch. Clearly, someone is pulling our legs. But the whole thing is silly, low budget fun. BC