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Gagarr
Reviews
The Killer's Game (2024)
Horrible directing
I was expecting that JJ Perry having been in the army would actually know something about how weapons work, especially fragmentation grenades, but I was sadly disappointed. Also, as a stunt guy, I was thinking he could come up with cool but realistic stunts. But again, the stunts were contrived and defied physics.
I loved Bautista in GotG, Drax had depth, where Joe, an assassin, was BORING and predictable. Sofia's acting is a step up from David's, but still was a low for her. Again, this could have been the result of really poor directing.
Ben Kingsley and Alex Kingston consummate professionals that don't need a director, performed excellently. They accounted for a star by themselves.
Good concept bumbled by a over reaching stunt man.
Longlegs (2024)
Not scary... predictable... art school horror film
I'm a huge horror fan. Everything I read said Longlegs was going to be "SSSCCCAAARRRYYY" and a thriller. I was underwhelmed. It took maybe 15 min to come up with a few theories as to the plot, another 10 min to narrow it down, but by the middle of the movie it was too obvious as to where it was going.
Thus, I had to watch Cage (who I've liked since Valley Girl) over act a character that could have been scarier if not so comically over the top. Maika, who I loved in Watcher, also over does her character in many ways.
If you insist on watching this movie, do it altered, so you don't pick up on the obvious clues. Don't worry the director does the dull witted a kindness by explaining everything at the end, thus feel free to go to the bathroom as you won't miss much.
What this movie did was remind me that actually going to the theater is a waste of time and money.
Judged by Matt Walsh (2024)
Judge is dumber than the moronic litigants
I enjoy deadpan humor. I enjoy sarcasm. I enjoyed the People's Court. Thus, I thought I might enjoy Judged by Matt Walsh. But alas, Matt Walsh proves he really isn't very intelligent (euphemism for idiot). He's mocking is at a 3rd grade level with very little wit. The litigants are too obvious in their fake stupidity for their 15 min of fame. Daily Wire should get a bunch of grade school children together to have a mock courtroom at least that might be adorable, while also being poorly acted and intellectually vacate.
Will not be watching more because at some point I'm sure Matt Walsh will resort to throwing his own feces at the litigants.
Note: 4 stars because production value was good and the bailiff was funny. Replace Walsh with a 5th grader would get 2 more stars.
Tracker: The Storm (2024)
Writers should be fired
I've been enjoying this series, but when it came to "The Storm" the writers/director/producers got horribly lazy/stupid/high and had a full FBI tac team with massive lights assembled at a small resort town in less than 15 minutes!!! I'm pretty sure it would take POTUS longer to get the FBI to do anything. Regardless of the acting/photography/ etc., this kind of Roadrunner and Coyote logic just spoils a show. Can't wait for the episode when Colter twitches his nose (ala Samantha) and the case is solved.
Writers too lazy to actually do their jobs or is it the director that wanted something "flashier" for the ending. Regardless they have lost this viewer and probably many more. Guessing this is a 1 season show.
Unfrosted (2024)
Nostalgic humor that was enjoyable
The movie actually only deserves 7 stars, but I decided to give a extra star to the the two kids, Cathy and Butchie, played by, Eleanor Sweeney and Bailey Sheetz. They delivered their lines better than most of the professional comedians. I hope to see them more in the future.
The nostalgia which went from the early 60's to just a few years ago and was constant. Sometime funny other times not so. But I laughed out loud several times, something I didn't do once through many recent "comedy" movies and series'. I'm not even really a fan of Seinfeld (comedian or series), but some of the subtle references hit home.
Its a movie I'm sure that if I watch it again I'll enjoy and pick up more of the more subtle nostalgic references.
NCIS: Hawai'i: Crash and Burn (2024)
Swiss cheese plot. Looney Tunes were more plausible.
1. Large plane floats in the ocean even with a large section of the fuselage blown out.
2. Hawaii coast guard doesn't have helicopters to get to a plane crash to see or prevent the bad guys from the rescue.
3. Plane goes down, but Coast Guard waits for NCIS to arrive before sending any boats out. Then sends 3.
4. Marshall is holding a shotgun but doesn't seem to have done anything with it.
5. NCIS Hawai'i gets jurisdiction on a Marshall service data breach to send agents to Las Vegas without the Marshall service or FBI involved. Writers were obviously smoking weed to think this was plausible.
Could point out many more.
I loved season 1, thought season 2 was good, but season three has gone down hill very fast. Might be my last episode.
Leave the World Behind (2023)
Writers and director get high and drunk and make a movie
The only thing I could think of as to why the movie made little to no sense was that the writers and director did everything while severely altered. Here's how there conversation went:
Writer:"Hey dude I love deers so do you think we could put a bunch of CGI deers in the movie?"
Director: "I don't see why not, because I'm pissed at Tesla, so I'm going to make them look dangerous and wreak them, for no good reason"
Writer: "I'm going to make people racist just to signal my virtue"
Director: "Cool, I'm going to have the actors ignore the obvious stuff around them and then pan the camera up as a big shocker"
Writer: "Dude, I'm to stoned to actually come up with a ending that makes any sense, so you OK with just stopping in the middle?"
Director: "Yeah why not, Netflix doesn't know crap, so will just tell them it's artistic expression, LOL."
I could go on, but you get the point, which for this movie, their wasn't one.
Corsicana (2022)
Greatest American lawman gets a weak movie
I looked forward to seeing the story of Bass Reeves told, but not in such a lame way. Washington did a good job as Bass, but should have stayed in front of the camera. His directorial choices made it tedious and nonsensical, except creating truly heinous villains.
I admire the lack of dialogue as that was realistic, but when they did speak the words were stunted and flaccid. I can only hope that someone will actually do Bass Reeves justice by assembling a good team of writers and a quality director.
This movies actors were OK for the budget, the scenery and set were excellent, and wardrobe was well done.
Longmire (2012)
Yellowstone does it better
I decided to watch this show because I saw it mentioned on a Yellowstone review. I can see how it could have inspired Yellowstone, but it pales in comparison. Especially the lead role of Walt Longmire, who acts intelligent one minute and a complete an utter fool the next. IMO, the character as written shouldn't be allow to be a dog catcher, let alone a sheriff. The writers of this show a pathetic and should watch a couple episodes of CSI or Law and Order to increase their understanding of law enforcement practices 1000%. Could go into detail here but it would be a spoiler. All I can say is when it comes to crime seen protocol expect the Sheriff to do the stupidest thing possible. If I was the actor I would have said "You gotta be kidding me?" When asked to do the scene as written.
Kudos to the actors as they are the only reason this show is tolerable. Katee, Lou, A Martinez, and Graham Greene are excellent.
---- edited
Finished watching the series, absolutely horrible last episode. Dropped it a star just because of it. Wish I didn't waste my time.
Fired on Mars (2023)
Depressing on Earth
I struggled through the first episode, but decided to give the next a try just to give it a fair shake. Unfortunately it was just a depressing. ZERO laughs, not even a chuckle. I usually love Luke Wilson's dry humor, i.e. Idiocracy is hillarious, but nothing in FoM is remotely funny.
In fact I felt more depressed after watching then I did when I was seeking a comedy to cheer me up. This show will be great for the sales of anti-depressants.
Luke does his best with what he has, but the supporting cast is just poor and the writing is worse. My only curiosity is how something like this gets a green lite.
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)
Lacks emotion
None of the characters really seemed to care about their strange situation. Their attempts at emotion wasn't believable in word or action. I get more emotion in 1 minute of a Taylor Sheridan show than this whole movie. The comedy also fell flat most of the time, with only a few chuckles. I love all the actors, Rudd, Douglas, Pfeiffer, Lilly, but they all seem to be phoning in their characters. The villains were disappointing, lots of talk about how bad they were, but they failed to prove it in any real action. So overall this failure is on the writer, who didn't provide words for the actors and the director who did a great job on the first 2 Ant-man films, but was too lazy to get any emotion out of his actors.
I still gave it 5 starts, because the production value was still top notch.
Slayers (2022)
Cult flick missed opprotunity
I started watching because of Thomas Jane and Abigail Breslin, before checking IMDB rating. It started off so poorly, that I had to check and the 3.0 rating made me want to turn it off. But I decided to see if it was bad/good enough to be a cult flick. Thomas Jane was perfect for his part a protagonist/narrator. The social media tie ins were good, but didn't go far enough. The live streaming with influencers the was great, but under utilized. The "How to" piece and old school fight sound graphics were cult film gold. The framework was their, the acting talent was good enough, the production value was "OK", but ultimately the directing/editing stopped it from becoming cult film. Gave it 5 stars for the attempt, but 3 stars was pretty correct.
Cunk on Earth (2022)
1 laugh, 2 chuckles, and 0 information
I love British humor, especially the dimwitted type like Monty Python, but this type of humor requires the right type of person to pull it off. You can't just be straight faced while you say something ludicrous. You need to have either the pretentious look of Cleese or the drooling idiot look of Jeremy Clarkson or Bill Bailey. Diane Morgan does neither thus most of her funny dialog fall flat. I found the if I pictured, Clarkson, Cleese, or Baily delivering the lines I found them funny. I think Diane is a good writer, just not a good comedian imo. Final comment is the completely unnecessary use of profanity, which should limit its audience, because the comedy would be more appealing to children.
Curse of Crom: The Legend of Halloween (2022)
Goofy Halloween fun
I wouldn't be surprised if most of the script was actually improved as it was just natural, fun, and bad. It's been a long time that a low production movie has made me laugh and smile this much.
Don't expect to be scared, but expect to laugh at the actors being scared.
If I was convinced that the actors were intentionally acting poorly on purpose I would have given it 10 stars. There performances were perfect for the quality of the production.
It has just the right mix of good and bad to be a cult hit. I know I plan on watching it again. I'm still smiling thinking about it.
Just sit back and enjoy the bad.
House of the Dragon (2022)
Medival soap opera at best
HOD follows the writing decline from 6th season of GOT. The characters are boring and predictable. GOT was complex with many plots and subplots that twisted and turned. HOD has one plot that plods along episode after episode. I gave it a 5 because the production value is great; the design, CGI dragons, wardrobe, etc. Are exceptional. The acting, writing and directing are subpar.
My final evaluating criteria is how many times I reach for my phone or tablet during the show because it has become tedious. Episode 6 was 8 times... not good.
I'm convinced that the high ratings are directly correlated with the success of the Kardashian's. Simple minds love simple things.
Intersect (2020)
Michael Jordan chose accounting over basketball
Lots of potential wasted by poor decisions. Negatives: Actors very poor, sound pathetic, screen play unnecessarily convoluted, and directing amateurish. Unobjectionable: special effects. I gave it extra star just for the concepts which were intriguing.
The Harder They Fall (2021)
Plot required stupidity
The plot only advanced due to characters doing the dumbest possible action for absolutely no conceivable reason. I could list them all but it would just waste more time than I already wasted watching the movie. Only reason I gave it 5 stars is because I like too many of the actors/actresses to blame them for the writer and directors incompetence.
Just sad...
Asylum of Fear (2018)
Not good for a reason
I judge based on expectations. A low budget horror movie gets lots of breaks, especially when I find out that a producer screwed them out or $$ and equipment.
My only serious criticism of the movie is the pathetic acting of the villain, Dr Pender, played by Matthew Urban. Horror movies are all about the villain not the protagonist. Thus, giving the most crucial role to the worst actor was an egregious mistake. My only guess is the BFA in Acting from U of Michigan, must have fooled someone into thinking he has talent, which he doesn't. I glad he has a Navy pension, because acting isn't going to pay his bills.
Kudos to Maurice Demus, who played Richard, you did the best job and I hope to see you more in the future.
The Endgame (2022)
Reserving judgement... has potential...
Watched Ep. 1 and read lots of reviews comparing it to The Blacklist, which I kind of see, but I found it more like "Money Heist" where the criminal mastermind is a step ahead of the authorities. I'm not thrilled with some of the acting and some of the plot points are a bit over the top unbelievable (lazy writing). I'll watch more to see where it goes, but as a pilot I would not have given the green light.
Will be updating this review later.
After Ep. 2, I've decided it's not realistic, like any film where they disarm a bomb seconds from exploding, but still enjoyable.
In from the Cold (2022)
Looked so promising.... but just don't.
I'm writing after only watching 13 min, because something happened that was just illogical. Which indicated that the writers, producers, and directors are not being held to any sort of standard, so they are just lazy. The illogical thing could have been logically or at least reasonably handled in a dozen different ways, which makes it even worse. You shouldn't invest time in something that is going to have you rolling my eyes every 13min.
Just don't.
La casa de papel (2017)
Tale of Two Heists... 1st a 8 ... 2nd a 2
I LOVED the first two seasons...
Watched the next 3 seasons wondering how they don't shoot themselves given the writers had them acting like morons.
Yes I did watch all of seasons 3-5 but only because I made a drinking game of it and every time the characters did something totally stupid I drank. Lets say I never finished an episode sober.
So buy a bottle or case of beer and enjoy.
Dune: Part One (2021)
Villeneuve's version drags........on.... and..... on
I always thought Lynch could have used and extra hour to get more of the Herbert's vision into his 1984 movie. But seeing Villeneuve have the extra time and waste it with repeated and unnecessary stuff, I realize that more is not necessarily better. I hoped for more and got less.
Based on Villeneuve's other movies (BR 2049, Arrival, Sicario) which I've seen, it seems he likes actors to be very repressed in their emotions. Which worked because the plots in those movies moved along at a good pace. But when the plot is crawling along and the actors are moping around in a malaise and all you have is music and CGI landscapes... you get BORED.
Y: The Last Man (2021)
Dig a grave- very minor spoiler
You are running out of food and water. Your child is bleeding from a self inflicted knife cut. So why are you wasting time and energy digging into frozen earth to bury your sons that have been rotting for 60+ days?
Why? Because the writers think women are emotional morons. I thought this show was "woke" but in fact it is horribly misogynistic. It makes almost all the women in the show look hopeless and/or petty.
A couple good tweaks and it could be a hilarious comedy, but alas it's just pathetic.
Akira (1988)
Tedious
Couldn't stay awake in the afternoon. Great if you want to take a nap, not so good if you want exciting entertainment.
Debris (2021)
Very little science/logic..... lots of unconnected emotion
I had high hopes based on the premise and hoping for a X-Files/Fringe type show.
Sadly disappointed, made it half way through the second episode before I finally gave up on childishness.
I LOVE SCI-FI, easily my favorite genre, but when the scientific methods used is "poke it with a stick and see how you feel about it", I just can't accept it.
Honestly, is it Science Fiction without science, logic, or common sense? A Scooby Doo cartoon is more rational.
Complete failure unless you hate Sci-Fi and love sappy emotion drive plot lines without any reason for what or why anyone does anything.
Gave it 3 stars only because of the production value was high, but acting, directing, and writing were soap opera-ish at best.