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Reviews
The Veil (2005)
I can recommend it as background ambiance for a Paint Ball Party..
Running time is nearly 2 hours. Needs some serious editing. Story is more than a bit hard to follow.
Not because its too cerebral but because the characters are completely covered in battle gear and the camera work would make The Blair Witch motion sick
At the halfway point I really felt like the film had started all over again. So much so I stopped it to check. The flow seems to follow military "hurry up and wait" philosophy. I never knew it to be possible but you can get board by scenes of people frantically running around in the woods.
It couldn't decide if it was a zombie film, a Virus endeavor, double-agent, governmental conspiracy or just boys having a grand paintball fight in the woods with zombies.
I've debated with myself whether to recommend this or not. It's hella-long, but like I said, I really like the soundtrack/music. (That is except for the few minutes of dramatic operatic-type music toward the end. It wasn't the very end or I'd think "Well, it's not over 'til the Fat Lady sings") Except is wasn't quite over.
This would be a good film to run in the background of a Halloween party or outdoor barbeque where there were paintball competitions. I've given this 5 stars and I'm going to put it into my so bad its good list. Oh, definitely a guy flick even though I'm a chick.
I suspect she won't mind it for the music.
Feast of Burden (2012)
Based on first to webisodes I'm giving this a 5
Because no one has even discovered this is real. I had my doubts. I thought someone came in and created a fake film page. It's been done before. My bad. The title information is a bit misleading. Feast of Burden isn't one single 45 minute long film. It's approximately 9 four to five minute webisodes that can all be found on Youtube. It's very campy and silly and certainly i will need to watch all 45 minutes worth to get where this is heading. If it's heading anywhere at all. Some of the scenes are funny and the casts doesn't seem daunted by the expectations of the director. I say, give these kids a shot. Watch the entire series of Feast of Burden and write your own review. Prove me wrong. Give it more stars than I did, but mean it. Good luck to the cast and crew of Feast of Burden. written by ToniHunterOne aka PhaedraBlue.
McCloud: Showdown at Times Square (1975)
Director Ron Satlof and writers
SPOILER
Night of the Shark and Showdown at Times Square
Sidney Ellis wrote Night of the Shark
Lou Shaw wrote the Teleplay for Showdown at Times Square
plus 7 other McCloud stories and/or teleplays.
Aside from Writer Lou Shaw's 7 script writes everyone else having to do with script development had zero prior script writing for the McCloud characters. I found this story to be mean spirited in the extreme. By Season 6 there should be no call for Chief Clifford to be so outright disrespectful and belittling in his comments to all of the staff. He even shot a couple off to Chief Dan George. What could they have been thinking? I could barely watch this episode, it was so appalling.
Chief Clifford cut everyone off from the very beginning of this story. Let's face it they have had some great successes due to McCloud's enginuity. There writers should have done a far better job with character development than this pile of
"Iron Horse" wreck! I can't give this one any better than a 3 and I love Cheif Dan George and all the characters in McCloud. No wonder this show was cancelled. Dennis Weaver is a treasure. He and Terry Carter had wonderful working charisma together. I just don't get the mood of this one.
Bob the Butler (2005)
A Far Cry from the Tom Green that Nursed from a Cow's udder!
I was completely impressed in a positive way by this sleeper of a romantic comedy. "Bob the Butler" is highly UNDERRATED and should be given a chance by anyone who loves romantic comedies. All of the casting for this film is absolutely perfect. Not a sour note in the bunch.
I hope anyone who happens across this film gives I a shot. It's light-hearted, seemingly spontaneous in the reactions of the children and Brooke Shields is still a joy to behold.
I'm giving this one at 10/10 for the shear light-hearted joy of the piece.
ToniHunterOne aka PhaedraBlue 3/17/2019.
Mister Scrooge to See You (2013)
Keep Rupprecht, Richter and Koester and dump the rest.
The actors that actually seemed to know what they were doing were the gentleman playing Scrooge and the one playing Jacob Marley. The waitress was pretty good, as well. Her dialogue was choppy but at times she was able to put her on flavor in it. i.e. At times her lines were delivered with genuine feeling rather than someone regurgitating their memorized lines at their cue.
The actors playing Bell and Ben, well, their acting was very weak. I didn't feel that either of them were able to convey their characters appropriately. And the little twist about being brother and sister rather than an unkindled romance was just too uncomfortably awkward and wholly unbelievable. A genuinely terrible solution to the problem of how to bring them together as caring Christian people. When "they" kept saying "they" needed to reveal something about Bell, I seriously thought they were going to either say she had cancer or she was pregnant with Tim VI's love child. Which would have pulled in an immaculate conception into the piece. As ridiculous as this idea sounds, it wouldn't have been any less awkward and non-sensical as some of the other attempts that were made to make cohesive connections between this screenplay and Dickens' original story.
It wasn't complete crap; but very nearly so. If they had taken more time to develop the script and dialogue between characters it may have been more enjoyable.
Things that should not have been "forced": References to God and Christianity are completely out of place and awkward. Like they were an afterthought.
Further, it was COMPLETELY unnecessary and quite disgusting to have the shopping carts with the nasty clothing placed in the background of the restaurant as "incontrovertible proof" that the "Bridge Club" were a group of homeless people. Why not have a neon sign with an arrow flashing above the Bridge Club that says "Homeless! Homeless! Homeless!" ANYONE working with truly homeless people would not allow them to bring that shopping cart into an eating establishment. The clothing would have stunk badly and would have been filled with vermin such and lice and bedbugs. The stench alone would have been unbearable. It's not like homeless people routinely take their shopping carts of rubbish and clothes they've gotten from charity or from the trash and visited a laundry-mat.
So many problems, so little time. Bottom-line, it could have been wittier, funnier and still managed to squeeze in a Christian sentiment or two.
~ by ToniHunterOne.
The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death (2014)
It's entirely too dark. . .
And I don't mean the mood. You really can't see anything as many of the other reviewers have mentioned. The concept of this sequel isn't bad at all. Having the haunted house of the 1800's now inhabited by an orphanage trying to escape the ravages of WWII. But that's as far as it goes. So much could have been done with this idea, but now it's ruined and wasted on this barely discernable mess. The poor actors wasted their skill on this one. Give it a pass.
The Haunting of Hill House (2018)
Peyton Place meets Scream. . . OR . . . where is the compassion?
I just can't get invested in the characters in this. The jump-scares are just okay. The little actor playing young Luke is a good screamer but the "monster-in-the-basement" just looks like an actor in a cloth Halloween costume crawling across the floor.
I don't care that Steve Crain has written a book about their lives in Hill House, which is absolutely to small and too modern to fit the original story.
Now we have the psychiatrist treating a little girl who sees and imaginary creepy friend that she calls Mr. Smiley. That's straight out of Amityville Horror and very badly done. It's all very predictable and slow and boring.
Good luck gang, I'm giving the rest of this series a pass.
Malevolent (2018)
Too Many Angles and Not Enough Plot Development
If you've gotten to my review then you've read the myriad reasons why most thought this film mediocre at best. I was trying to put my finger on the problem with this endeavor when it hit me. This film is schizophrenic. It can't decide if it's a story about a man running a "Ghostbusters" scam to pay off his loan shark. A story about a nearly estranged brother and sister relationship that almost find their way back to each other. A serial killer film where Mother Bates kills right along with her son for no known reason other than she thought the small girls in her care were enticing her son. A ghost story where the victims are trying to be heard through kindergarten songs. There's the long suffering and silent family gardener who gets off'd before he utters a word. A psychological drama - did it happen or is it all in her head? And unrequited love that also gets murdered before the first kiss.
Devil in the Dark (2017)
Childhood nightmares really can come alive!!!
It certainly isn't the most horrible of horror films I've ever scene... It's too long at the beginning. Top heavy in character development but not bad at it. The men were believable as brothers. Many movies leave unanswered questions. The men wax philosophical over their childhood and the differences in their relationships with their father. There is beautiful Washington State scenery which is often spoiled and the film really doesn't pick up speed until the last half hour. I suppose it's message, if there is one, is to cherish your brother because you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone. It's still a good watch and a bit underrated on IMDB. Watch it chemically altered and you'll freak the hell out. If you're under 18 ignore my last sentence.
Werewolves of the Third Reich (2017)
This one doesn't even qualify as a "So bad it's gonna be good" film.
This. . . is. . . horrendous! It's obviously low budget. Very low. That in itself is certainly not a detractor. But Gawd Damn! When we "enter" Mengele's concentration camp their are exactly four young adults that are supposed to be the entire POW camp. Two men Two woman. Modern looking women with long stringy hair parted on the side. The "blond" had 5 inches of exposed dark roots. Apparently they couldn't even manage to dye her hair one way or the other. It's like they took what little they remember from high school history class and threw it in here and there and decided to mix in a bit of The Island of Dr. Moreau. This is not a compliment at all. I would recommend you save yourselves and choose something else; but you are gonna do what you're gonna do. 2 of 10 stars because I don't like to flunk people completely. ToniHunterOne aka PhaedraBlue.
Man Up (2015)
Brilliant!
Absolutely Brilliant. I laughed. I cried. I WILL watch this again.
Pete Smalls Is Dead (2010)
Pete Smalls is Dead and this movie is barely breathing.
I watched it because I'm a fan of Peter Dinklage's work. He was fine in this film. I loved the voice over storytelling. But I'm not a fan of Hollywood films about Hollywood. At least not fiction films about making films in Hollywood.
If this sounds convoluted, well yeah, it is and so is this film. I really can't fault any of the actors; I think for their part they were all believable in their roles. The story was just boring.
It's listed as a comedy that is dark, quirky and cynical. Well they certainly got the cynical part right but cynicism without humor is an exercise in tedium. I guess the quirky part is Steve Buscemi, another actor I enjoy, in a beige/blond curly clown wig looking like he'd been smoking 40 packs of cigarettes a day. Steve is usually great with the wry humor and quirky character portrayal; sadly, his character was pathetic. In fact all the characters were sad and pathetic.
I found myself skipping ahead every few minutes and then watching a few minutes and then skipping ahead. I didn't miss anything. You know it's like watching a soap opera every single day for three months and then missing the soap opera for a couple months; when you start watching again you realize Joan is still in the coma, Frank is still having the affair, and Cassandra is still making trouble for all of them.
This was 94 minutes of watching Peter Dinklage's character, KC Munk, trying to drum up 10k to get his much beloved dog back from the loan shark that took it to cover the debt. Munk spends the entire film riding on the back of a moped while his friend "Shemp" peddles him from place to place trying to either secure the 10k or get his stolen script back so he can sell it to get his 10k so he can get his dog back. I just couldn't care about the characters even though they spoke in soft and meaningful tones, it just didn't get me there.
I hated the story and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. For IMDb I always double whatever I rate on Netflix; so my IMDb rating is FOUR stars ~ PhaedraBlue 03/10/14 ~
The New Daughter (2009)
I wonder if the Old Daughter had better energy?
I just finished watching Luis Berdejo's "The New Daughter". Berdejo adapted it from Irish native writer John Connolly's short story of the same name. Just short of beginning "It was a dark and stormy night..." Berdejo's story begins with an upper middle-class family uprooted by divorce. The father, a writer, hoping for a new beginning relocates his teenage daughter and young son to a beautiful country estate on the outskirts of a small town. There are innumerable films out there with a young teen girl torn from her emotional attachments left open to fall prey to the neighborhood unknown entity. TND is full of vague American cliché's. The bully at school, the single dad, the available concerned teacher, the vague rumors of something "not right" by the townsfolk, the vague historian, and a dubious American Indian legend surrounding a native American mound burial site that just happens to be located on this country estate. Are you beginning to see a pattern here? TND starts out slow and builds to a mediocre pace that barely gets the pulse going even as it approaches the climax of the film. The actors all seem to be sleepwalking throughout this; the norm for Kevin Costner. Costner has provided us with some great performances such as Crash Davis in "Bull Duram", Charley Waite in "Open Range" and Jake in "Silverado. This is not one of them. I gave this a 4 out of 10 rating because I'm feeling charitable. ~ToniHunterOne 09-3-2012