My silhouettes of loneliness.
They tremble, they shake, they flicker.
The air becomes thicker
With the heavy emptiness that you left behind.

Now I find solace
In the memories of days past.
I cast my eyes towards the vast horizon.
And slowly, oh so slowly send my angered yearning for you on a cloudy balloon,
That soon floats peacefully towards the starry sky.
The shadows wane a little in the darkness.
Then I remember your smile.
I miss you,
My first breath of happiness! !
The joy of remembering you,
Made me find my crumpled, wounded self,
Hidden within this ruined castle of despair
That I, myself had layered brick by brick around me.

My ego tries escaping.
Into light and out from the claws of shadows.
Bravely clutching into every thinnest strand
Of hopes and dreams we wove together.
I want to see you one last time.
You joyful, anguished pain of mine!

Fog, please be lifted,
and let me see what lays ahead.
So then I know if I should forgive myself,
Or no exception of redemption given,
Just like everyone else.
Not divine enough to be able to touch the ethereal bliss,
And yet, not sinful enough to be encased within the horrors of the underworld.
Thus, forgotten, once again,
rewinding, whining, crying,
Into this endless purgatory
Of the eternal circle of life and death.
Completely unreasonably complaining,
Because, you left...

4/29/22