THE COMPLETE STORY OF PETER PAN (in 5 minutes)

Sheree Vickers . 13 March 2000 Note: All scripts remain the property of Sheree Vickers. They can be adapted and re-written according to your individual group needs.

Narrator 1: Narrator 2: Narrator 1:

Welcome to our version of Peter Pan. Abridged. Abridged. Wendy, John and Michael are in their nursery - sleeping.

(Wendy, John and Michael jump centre stage, lie down and start snoring - loudly.) Narrator 1: Quietly!

(They stop snoring.) Narrator 2: In comes Peter Pan.

(Tarzan Swing - Smack.) John: Michael: What was that? What was what?

(Tarzan Swing - Smack.) John: Michael: Wendy: John: Peter Pan: All: Peter Pan: That! I dont know. Wendy - wake up! What is it? Theres a mad man in our Nursery. Im not a mad man. Im Peter Pan. Peter Pan!? Yes - Peter Pan, and Ive come to take you away to the Never Neverland.

(All Saints song snippet - Never ever have I ever felt so low, when you gonna take me outa this blackhole...) Peter Pan: All: Peter Pan: Wendy: Peter Pan: Narrator 1: (To the All Saints.) Yes Yes. Get out. (Back to Wendy, John and Michael) So, are you coming? Well... Please. OK. How do we get there? Ill show you. (Tarzan Swing - Smack.) Actually, it was Tinkerbell and her fairy dust that finally got Wendy, John and Michael to the Never Neverland. (All Saints song snippet.) Stop it! As I said - it was Tinkerbell and her fairy dust that finally got Wendy, John and Michael to the Never Neverland. (Pause.) TINKERBELL!!!

(Out comes Tinkerbell, it is a boy in a girly wig.) Tinkerbell: This is so embarrassing.

(He sprinkles fairy dust around the stage and then exits.) Narrator 2: Then the all flew away.

(Flying sequence - Tinkerbell Airlines.) CoPilot: Captain: Waitress1: Bing! Bong! Welcome to Tinkerbell Airlines. This is your co-pilot, let me pass you onto your captain. Hello and welcome to Tinkerbell Airlines. The food menu is about to be served. Hello and welcome to Tinkerbell Airlines. Todays menu includes One-Snot Bolognaise, Cardboard Pizza and Poo Delight. Vomit bags can be located in the seat in front of you. Enjoy your flight! Bing! Bong! Welcome to Tinkerbell Airlines. This is your co-pilot, let me pass you onto your captain. Hello and welcome to Tinkerbell Airlines. Kiddie packs and todays film is on its way. Hello and welcome to Tinkerbell Airlines. Anyone want a kiddie pack? Theres a lovely little airplane that any young child can easily choke on. Whats the film? 10,000 disasters in one week - and funnily enough, theyre all involving one airline...this airline - Tinkerbell Airlines. Enjoy your flight! Bing! Bong! Welcome to Tinkerbell Airlines. This is your co-pilot, let me pass you onto your captain. Hello and welcome to Tinkerbell Airlines. In case of an emergency, feel free to panic! Hello and welcome WE KNOW! Lets review our Emergency Panic Proceedure. 1...2...3... (Everyone panics and the pilot and co-pilot jump out of the plane saying things like Save yourselves!) Does anyone know how to fly a plane? No? Oh well, enjoy your flight! Look - there it is. After landing, Peter, Wendy, John and Michael promptly went looking for The Lost Boys. Where are you? Meanwhile on the other side of the island, Hapton Chook Dont you mean Captain Hook? Thats what I said - Hapton Chook - and the Pirates, were plotting an evil scheme... Aarrgh! Aarrgh! Evil. Evil. Aarrgh! Aarrgh! (Cough as if getting a frog out of his throat.) Oh thats better.

CoPilot: Captain: Waitress2: John: Waitress2: CoPilot: Captain: Waitress3: Passengers: Waitress3:

Peter Pan: Narrator 1: All: Narrator 2: Narrator 1: Narrator 2: Pirates: C.Hook:

(Note: Captain Hook could have an egg beater instead of a hook.) C.Hook: Smee: Now, we have to kill Peter Pan. Why?

(Pause. General pondering.) C.Hook: Smee: Pirates: Narrator 1: Tootles: Slightly: Peter Pan: Curly: Peter Pan: Twin 1: Tootles: Peter Pan: Twin 2: Why not? Oh. OK. (In agreement.) Aarrgh! Aarrgh! Meanwhile, back on the other side of the island...The Lost Boys were still lost. Where are we? I dont know. (Calling from off-stage.) Tootles, Slightly, Curly, Twins. Who said that? (Off.) Me! (To Tootles.) You? Me? No. Who?

(Peter, Wendy, John and Michael emerge.) Peter Pan: Lost Boys: Peter Pan: Lost Boys: Peter Pan: Me! Peter! Quick boys - Ive brought more people to help us fight the Pirates. The Pirates!? Yes. We have to kill Captain Hook.

(Note: Could have another Hapton Chook gag/routine in here.) Tootles: Why?

(Pause. General pondering.) Peter Pan: Tootles: Why not? Oh. OK.

(Tinkerbells big dying scene.) Tinkerbell: Poison...Pirates...Dying...Believe... (Cough.) ...Fairies...Clap... (Cough.) ...Hands...

(When he/she has finished, the others - who havent really taken much interest anyway - just step over her and carry on with their plans.) Wendy: All: So, shall we go find the Pirates then? Yeah. OK.

(They exit. Tinkerbell is still on stage. She raises her head and looks to where they left.) Tinkerbell: Typical.

(At that moment the dreadful TICK TOCK is heard.)

Tinkerbell: Narrator 2: Peter Pan: C.Hook: Peter Pan: C.Hook: Narrator 2: Peter Pan: C.Hook: Narrator 2: All: C.Hook: Peter Pan: Narrator 1:

(Running off-stage.) Aaahhh!!! And so, Peter Pan and Captain Hook fought. I hate you. I hate you too. No, but I really hate you. Yeah, well I hate you even more. Not that kind of fighting. What? You mean? Yes. FISTICUFFS!?! Can I use my sword? On guard! And so, they fought...

(Note: Could have another Why?/Why Not! gag/routine in here.) Peter Pan & C.Hook: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT Peter Pan & C.Hook: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT All: (Jerry Springer style.) Peter Peter Peter Peter Peter Pan & C.Hook: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT Peter Pan & C.Hook: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT All: Peter Peter Peter Peter C.Hook: A poke in the eyes. Peter Pan: A slap in the face. C.Hook: A punch in the mouth. Peter Pan: A kick in the groin. All: Ooo (Captain Hook is down for the count.) Narrators 1 & 2: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2... (At that moment the dreadful TICK TOCK is heard again and everyone runs off-stage.) All: Aaahhh!!!

THE END.

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