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The Mathematics of Marriage

Marriage was the crowning gift given the human race during Creation week. After creating a perfect world, endowed
with everything to provide for the health, delight the senses and fascinate the minds of mankind, Yahuwah said, It is
not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him. (Genesis 2:18, NKJV)
The gift of intimate companionship with one that is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh 1 is a gift unique to the
human race. It was not given to the angels nor any of the other unfallen races. It was given for two reasons: 1) to bless
the human race by molding the human into the image of the divine; 2) to reveal to all created beings the loving
character of Yahuwah.
It was for these reasons that Yahuwah created the human race as two parts of one whole. Both man and woman were
created in the image of Elohim: So . . . [Elohim] created man in his own image, in the image of . . . [Elohim] created he
him; male and female created he them.
(Genesis 1:27, KJV)
The union of a man and a woman reveals facets
of Yahuwahs character that would not be
understood otherwise. For this cause shall a
man leave his father and mother, and shall be
joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one
flesh. (Ephesians 5:31)
The marriage of two people committed to
honoring their Maker is a powerful witness in
the world. Yahuwah-centered marriages both
glorify Elohim and are a blessing to others.
Satan knows this and has focused intently upon
destroying individual marriages and marriage
itself as an institution.
There are many reasons people give for marrying. These vary as widely as the individuals themselves. Some reasons are
romantic: She is my soul mate. I am in love with him. Other reasons are practical: Marriage will bring me security. He
will be a good provider. Sometimes social pressures influence the decision to get married: Im pregnant. Im getting
older; if I dont get married now I may never get married.
Your marriage will only be as strong as the reason why you got married in the first place.
As a result, your purpose for marrying determines the course of your marriage.2
The more solid your reason for marrying, the stronger will be your marriage and the more enjoyment you will get from
it. Likewise, the poorer your reason for marrying, the greater are your chances of unhappiness and, ultimately, divorce.
To have a lasting marriage that is a blessing to both parties, you must have a good reason for getting married. Scripture
teaches that only Yahuwah is good. Therefore, anything that is good must be consistent with Yahuwah.

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The only good reason for getting married, then, is that both individuals believe it is Yahuwahs will for their lives. This
does not mean that you can marry who you want and then ask Yahuwah to bless your choice. This means surrendering
your will to your Creator and allowing Him to guide you in your selection of a life mate.
Trust in Yahuwah with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways
acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear Yahuwah and
depart from evil. If you do this, it will be health to your flesh, and strength to your bones. (See Proverbs
3:5-8.)
her in
Even if your original reason for

As the two of you determine

e, and they shall become one

(Genesis 2:24, NKJV) A couple
blessing. Likewise, the pain and unhappiness experienced are in proportion to the disunion experienced in marriage.
Satan understands this principle and has sought to destroy the happiness of multitudes by leading couples to become
one in ways that are unhealthy or that are prone to abuse. Gregory L. Jackson has done extensive research into what
constitutes true Biblical marriage principles. His research reveals three basic methods widely used by which couples
attempt to become one. The various methods have greater or lesser strengths and weaknesses, but none are ideal.
Only one method, the fourth, is in alignment with other divine principles and will lead to true and lasting happiness.
It is very important to know and understand these methods, because the way you attempt to become one will either
make or break your marriage. If the right method is used, your marriage will grow stronger and the two of you will grow
closer. If the wrong method is used, you and your mate will grow further and further apart as your marriage grows
weaker and weaker and weaker.
Jackson illustrates the three wrong methods used by couples to become one by using three different mathematical
methods to arrive at the number one. These methods are: addition, subtraction and division.

The Addition Method

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Because a person cannot be represented by zero, the addition method uses fractions to add up to one: + = 1. This
model of marriage is used by people who believe that they are not complete unless they have another person in their
lives. They believe that in order to be
completely loved and fulfilled in life, they
must have a life-partner. (While this may be
their belief, it is based on a faulty premise
because only Yahuwah can provide the
fulfillment for which they are longing.)
Those who use the addition method are
romantics who say things like: How can I live
without you? You complete me. I dont know
what I would do without you. You are my
everything. While this may sound like true
love, it cannot accomplish the true Biblical
oneness that is the desire of human hearts
and is Yahuwahs desire for His children.
Jackson presents three reasons why the
addition method cannot bring a couple into complete oneness:
First, the addition method causes one to depend on the wrong source to feel complete. The word of . . .
[Yah] says:
Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of
men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after . . . [Yahushua]. For in him dwelleth
all the fullness of the Godhead bodily. Ye are complete in him [Yahushua], which is the
head of all principality and power. (Colossians 2:8-10)
The addition method spoils us because it teaches us to depend on someone other than . . . [Yahushua]
to feel complete.
Secondly, the addition method causes one to have the wrong purpose for marriage. . . . [Yahuwahs]
purpose for marriage is to develop His image and likeness in us. For those who follow the addition
method the purpose for marriage is to feel complete.
Thirdly, the addition method causes one to use the wrong kind of love to relate to his or her spouse.
Those who use this method relate to each other with a self-centered, selfish love because their purpose
is to get the other to minister to their needs. . . . [Yahuwahs] love is an other-centered, selfless love
because its purpose is to minister to others needs.3
Couples who model their marriage after the addition method do so from a mutual need to feel complete. This is
problematic because only through Yahuwah can a person feel complete and fully loved. To look to your marriage
partner for that is a wrong basis for marriage because it focuses your attention on a human rather than on your Maker.
Such love is self-oriented, rather than other-oriented, which is the basis for Yahuwahs love and for true oneness.

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The Subtraction Method

taking away a smaller number from a higher number: 2
Of the three methods in wide use, this is the method that

Sometimes men use this method to exert

They say things like I wear the pants
I am the head of this house and you must obey

When new light and advanced

Ill see what he says.4

-riding
Even those who are the dominated
riage have that same desire, which is why
are powerful; those who
for them.

s do so from a mutual need to feel powerful and in

The subtraction method fails for the same reasons as
the addition method: it depends on the wrong source (ones mate) for meeting the need to feel strong and powerful.
Because this is the wrong reason for getting married, the wrong kind
of love is exhibited in trying to achieve oneness.

The Division Method

The division method is probably the most popular method used by
young people today. Of the three methods, it is the best, although,
as will be seen, it is not ideal either.
The addition method comes to the number one by joining
two incompletes, the subtraction method comes to the
number one by subjecting a lesser to a greater, but the
division method comes to the number one by bringing
together two equals. Division teaches, a number divided by
an equal number will result in the number one. For example,
4 4 = 1. Married couples who use the division method
believe marriage should be a union of equals. They do not
need marriage to feel complete or powerful and in control.
They are self-reliant people with a healthy self-concept.

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are not opposed to the idea of marriage, but they feel they can survive and find happiness without it.
The idea of marriage is appealing to them when it offers a way to be an equal partner in life with
someone who has the same economic and educational goals (Some add spiritual goals to the list.). They
believe the best way to come to the number one is by bringing two equals together.5
Although the division method may be the best of the three types of marriage models, it still fails for the same three
reasons as the previous two: it looks to the wrong source for feeling like an equal, thus it has the wrong reason for
getting married and as a result, the wrong kind of love is expressed in this marriage.

The Best Method

The very best method for achieving the desired oneness in marriage is by using the exponential model to arrive at one.
In exponential marriage, as in exponential math, two numbers are joined together in such a way that the overall value of
both is increased and enhanced.
Addition: + = 1
Subtraction: 2 1 = 1
Division: 2 2 = 1

In every other
her lessened or duplicated by the

It is not increased in numerical

ber one, but when you feel its

It is

They move through life

as one, but their impact on life has the power of two. When two become one as [Yahuwah] intended,
life does not get worse, neither does it remain the same; it gets better.
In order for the exponential model of oneness to work, both spouses must be complete or whole before
they become one. They cannot come to the relationship to receive; they must come to give. Each must
bring his or her particular talents and strengths to the marriage. Each must recognize, appreciate, and
surrender to the talents and strengths of the other. Also, each must be willing to give of their talents
and strengths for the good of the marriage no matter what the personal sacrifice.
Those who use the addition model fall short of [Yahuwahs] oneness because they focus more on
receiving than giving. Even when they give, it is because they want to receive. Those who follow the

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subtraction model fall short of [Yahuwahs] oneness because they do not recognize, appreciate, and
surrender to the talents and strengths of the other. Those who follow the division model fall short of
[Yahuwahs] oneness because they are not willing to give of their strengths and talents in a sacrificial
and selfless manner. The exponential model is the only one that brings out the ingredients necessary to
become one the way [Yahuwah] intended. It accomplishes this because it is the only one that fits
[Yahuwahs] purpose for marriage.6
A Bible text that is frequently taken out of context to support a wrong method for becoming one, is: Wives, submit
yourselves unto your own husbands. (Ephesians 5:22) There are some who believe that even if the husband requires
the wife to do something that is morally or
the sin.

couples who use the subtraction and addition

methods for oneness. Those who use the
division method typically reject this text as
being nothing more than Pauls personal
opinion based on the social ideas of the times
in which he wrote. However, the typical way
this text is interpreted is not supported by the
context of the passage and it certainly should
not be rejected based on a misinterpretation
of the verse.
A common assumption is that Scripture
commands wives to submit to their
husbands, while only commanding husbands
to love their wives. This inequity has opened the door to a great deal of abuse as well as resentment. Wives want to
believe that their husbands love them, so they labor under a heavy burden of thinking that they are sinning when they
resent having to submit, while all their husbands have to do is just love.
The two

the ekklesia, and

(See Ephesians

as unto Yahuwah. Yahuwah never

In fact, Yahuwah never forces

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And this is what is revealed in the instruction to husbands: love your wives just as Yahushua loved the ekklesia and died
for it! Most women would be quick to say, My husband loves me enough to die for me! Every woman wants to
believe this of her husband. But that is not what the text means.
Yahuwah guarantees freedom of choice to all. When Adam and Eve sinned, their natures, which had been made like
Yahuwahs, became warped and subject to Satan. Adam and Eve and all of their descendants after them would have
remained helpless soul-slaves of Satan IF Yahuwah had not pledged His Son to die for sinners to give them a second
chance to choose.
Note: Yahushuas death on the cross does not force anyone to be saved against their will. Yahushuas death freed the
will of everyone so that they could choose for themselves whom they would serve: Yah or Satan. In other words, the
way in which Yahushua loved the ekklesia was to guarantee her freedom of choice even though that freedom of choice
allowed people to reject Him all over again.
A man who loves his wife as Yahushua loved the ekklesia will never force his wife to do something she does not want to
do. If he truly loves his wife like Yahushua loves the ekklesia, he will be willing to die to protect his wifes freedom of
choice even if he disagrees with her choice! That is loving ones wife even as Yahushua also loved the ekklesia and
gave Himself for it.
Under the exponential method of becoming one, it is safe for women to submit to their husbands, showering upon
him the other-centered, selflessly giving love
that finds its home in the heart of the
Creator. Likewise, such Yah-like agape love is
returned to the wife when the husband loves
her with the same selfless devotion that
Yahushua showed when He gave His life to
guarantee freedom of choice for sinners.
Couples who use the exponential method of
becoming one forge a very strong bond
because of Yahuwahs love. They are not
bound by a need to feel complete, or
powerful, or in control or even by the need to
feel equal. Their marriage is strong because it
is based on both of them selflessly giving for
the good of the other. The more each one
selflessly gives for the good of the other, the more they two become one and the happier they both become.
Such love is the strongest of all because it is Yah-centered love. Its highest joy is in giving, generously and selfforgetfully, to the other. It makes no demands of the other, but is willing to sacrifice all for the greater good of the other
and of the marriage. Thus, even submission is seen as a benefit because it is viewed in the light of allowing ones wife or
husband to use her or his Yah-given talents for the greater good of the marriage, thus meeting the needs of both.
Submission does not make one feel less equal, because it is based on choice. Each individual thus enhances the
marriage by using his/her individual gifts and talents. The couple as one can both appreciate the role of the other in
the marriage and the relationship as a whole benefits.

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only work if both partners are individually

Only when the husband and the wife
both having their personal needs met in their Creator, when
, in turn, love each other with the self-less, self-sacrificing
This can be
daily surrender to Yahuwah; by bringing

n who seeks to base his/her marriage on the exponential

the article: the only reason a person should get married is if

When your purpose for

will for your life, then your decision for divorce is

ely to be based on the same thing.7

Whether you are engaged or only thinking about getting married, whether you are in a good marriage or a bad one, if
you will surrender your will to your Maker, He will guide you in safe paths.
Trust in Yahuwah with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways
acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. (See Proverbs 3:5, 6.)
Yahuwahs promise for you and your marriage is:
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith Yahuwah, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to
give you an expected end. (See Jeremiah 29:11.)

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p. 18. The authors gratefully acknowledge Mr. Jacksons research.

3

40.

42.
pp. 43 44.