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and mom-and-pop shops. Then we ranked the 40 best burgers in town. And we're pretty sure you'll be surprised by NO.1 .. Plus: immaculate fries, meatless marvels, the secrets of a hamburger god, and the ascent of the Slider.

CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE Th~ BI.d[k Angus burger from Oaveed's. aC!Qrrcanied by tru me PallTligiano tries.

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8 16 18 21

Contributors

Let,terfrom the Edit,or

Feedback

FrontUnes

Behind the scenes of 4192: The Crowning of the Hit King BEING TH ERE Bob Krueger remembers the birth 01 Miami View Golf Club DR. KNOW Your QC questions answered WHAT'S HAPPENING Cincinnati Pops fete Moeller High's 50th birthday, Gay BirlgO screams into Ensemble Theatre, and La Boh/!me brings th e weepies to Ci ncin na Ii Opera THE TAKEAWAY Is the new overdraft protection a bit rornplkatsd? Bank on it

33

Radar

NECESSITIES Home{town) made PROPERTY VALUES Homearama, RIP' STYLE COUNSEL Anne wainscott takes the long view GOOD TASTE The new food trucks are here! STOREFRONT 0 Zin, Mason ESCAPE Bluegrass museums

44

Departments WEST SIDE STORY

How do neighbors feel about losing the Gamble house? They're 99 and 441100 percent pissed

MODERN TIMES

In search of the walking wounded

155

Calendar

ART The Art of Caring torres to the Mu· seum Center MUSIC Forecastle Festival lures 'em to Louisville OUT OF TOWN Oevo on display at Ohio Historical Society Q&A Carolyn Mazloomi on the confluence of quilts and jazz LISTINGS July events

The Last, Detan Sex in the city limits

COVER: PhO!Dgf.ph by Ryan Kurtz; "'!Durning by P"I!i<k \1'1111",

6 I CINCINNATI I JULY2010 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

48

139

Dine

DINING OUT Brown Dog Cafe, Blue A;,hFINEDIVINGFl. Wright Family Restaurant. Ft. Wright ANOTHER BITE A food writer does her McDlJty RESTAURANTS A selective guide to the dining scene around town

164

Any fresher, you'd have to catch it yourself.

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FISH ANY FRE.SHER WOULD STILL BE IN THE OCEAN~

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ONLINE

Highlighted stories from this issue PLUS Online extras at www .. cincinnatimagazine.com

subsc,riber Access Code To read our cover story on online,

you'll need this month's access code: BURGER

Quotable Notables

Read Kathy Y. Wilson's Q&A with fiber artist Carolyn Mazloomi, curator of Textu ral Rhythms: Constructing the Jazz Tradition -African American Quilts.

CatchUp

In April, the Crea tion Museum welcomed its 1 millionth visitor, and in May celebrated its third birthday by

dedicating new "Knee- High Museum" exhibits for the youngest visitors. Cincinnati Magazine was present at the creation, as it were. and you can go to our website to read Jason Cohen's June 2oos"In Genesis They Trust," which looked at Answers in Genesis, the organization behind the

museum. There are other stories about the museum there,

too, including Linda Vaccariello's"And On the Sixth Day, God Created Paleontologists" and "A Night at the Creation Museum,"by Gregg Martini and justin Green.

cin.cinnatimagazine.comis your source for: }) Archives of past Cincinna Ii Magazine stories

» Searchable shopping, restaurant, and schools listings » Tickets to magazine- sponsored events

» Our exhaustive online calendar

Speak Up!.

» Subscribe online

» Get in touch with our writers and editors -click on Contact Us

CODt .. ibato ... s

Senior Associate Editor AIESHA D. LITTLE found ou t a few things when she vowed to spend a week using little to no technology for"Give My Regardsto Facebook"(page 72). She agreed to forgo the use of an assortment of items, including DVDs, her home computer. and her cell phone. The most difficult part? "Realizing! have no way to decompress that doesn't involve my computer,"she says. "Because of that, I may have been a bit snippy with a few people during my week off the grid. Consider this my public apology."

--- Alesha D.

LIttle

In her profile of Cincinnati's controversial NAACP Chapter President Christopher Smitherman ("He Shall Overcome,"page 68), contributing editor KATHY Y. WlLSON left no stone untur ned. Her meticulous research draws on a remarkable array of Cincinnatians, including former prosecutor Mike Alien, CPS Board President Eileen Cooper Reed, and even a local barber. "Black folks in public service are complicated, and there are historical contexts to consider, especially with men like Smitherman," Wilson says. "But most people aren't that deep. I am probably the only one who sits around thinking abou t W.E.B. Du Bois, Obama, and the Tea Party when I contemplate Smitherman."

==_. Kathy Y.

Wilson

Rounding up the city's best burgers is a daunting task, but Dining Edi.tor DONNA COVRETT led the staff's charge for "Burger Heaven"(page 5 2), discovering in the process that mastering this classic nosh is trickier than it seems. In fact, don't underestimate the need for proper cooking, Covrett says. "Even really fine prime beef can die in the hands of a complacent or untrained cook. As ubiquitous as it is, a really great burger is not as easy to find as I imagined

==- Donna Covrett

it would be."

Philadelphia - based artist HAWK KRALL's creative process is painstakingly detailed:

Each illustrated burger in "B urger Heaven" (page 52) is the product of initial sketches of the separate ingredients followed by a rough pencil sketch of the whole burger. Then, after

--- Hawk Krall

redrawing the image onto heavier paper, Krall painted them in gouache and did the linework in ink. He opted

for paint over Photoshop in order to" really capture the texture of the burgers and tolls and french fries," he says. In addition to writing and illustrating a weekly column about hot dogs for Seriouseats.com, Krall's work has appeared in Willamette Week, The Village Voice, and Las Vegas Weekly.

8 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

10 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010

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14 I CINCINNA.Tl I JULY 2010 .••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

DANCING ~ae BULL.

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For more details check out: www.cincinnatimagazine.com

Letterlrom the Editor

as it Plato or Kierkegaard who so eloquently asked:

Where's the beef? The answer would seem to be: Right here in Cincinnati, baby! Yes, we are known more as a chili town, but by God, we've got some darn good hamburger makers around here. Realizing that they hadn't had their day in the sun-at least in our pagesin quite some time, we decided to venture out into the community, hunt down and arduously taste the many different species of grilled meat sandwich, and compile a list of the best.

Everyone on the editorial staff was mobilized for this task. More than 50 establishments were visited and assessed, and I'd wager that all told just as many pounds were gained. In the end, we settled on 40 worthy purveyors, some of whom have taken the art and science of the hamburger-and in the best cases, you definitely find an alchemical mix of both-to new heights. Undoubtedly there will be those among you who will have not heard of some of these places. who will scr atch your heads or let out a flabbergasting "lNhat?!!!" when you lay eyes on our list. Let me just say now: That is OK We welcome your disagreements, your disputations,

your cris de coeur. Send us your tired, hungry e-rnails, send up smoke signals, or send a good, old-fashioned hand-written letter and let us know what we got right, what we got wrong, and any place we missed. We come to praise our local burgers, not bury them in obscurity. Any intel you can provide we will act on. Just

not right away. We've got to work off the poundage first.

Beyond the burgers (and Kathy Y. Wilson's deeply researched "explanation" of the ways and means of local NAACP chapter president Christopher Smitherman; and Aiesha D. Little's wry diary of going a week without anything remotely digital in her life; and Jack Heffron'S column on the Gamble House kerfuffle), there's something else I need to tell you about. In June, we were recognized by three different organizations for our superb editorial and design work. Cincinnati Magazine racked up 12. prizes at the Ohio Excellence in Journalism Awards (including seven first place honors, four second place honors, and the "Best Magazine in Ohio" for the third year in a row); seven awards from the Greater Cincinnati Society of Professional Journalists (including two frrsts=- one for trend reporting with "Welcome to the Outer Limits" last August, and one in the arts and entertainment category for "The Ballad of Chuck and Lisa" by Jason Cohen last December); and we received the General Excellence Award in our circulation category (in addition to seven other nominations-including one for Dining Editor Donna Covrett for food and dining writing, and four for Art Director Grace E. Saunders for design) at the City and Regional Magazine Association's annual conference. I couldn't be more proud of everyone on our staff, not only for the quality of their work but for their commitment during a very trying year throughout the country and in the media industry in particular. When it comes to doing our best, we don't (and won't) let up. Thanks for sticking with us.

Jay Stowe Editor

page 44 "SoapFloats," by Jack Heffron

page 52 "Burger Heaven"

page 68 "He Shall Overcome . ." by Kathy Y Wilson

page 72 "Give My Regards to Facebook." by Aiesha D. Little

161 CINCINNATI I JULY 2010 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Feedback

" Our past and future are inseparable from barley and hops. Maybe a Hudepohl tap in City Council Chambers would remind everyone how Cincinnati gets it done! "

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This Round's on Us

A big hearty "Prosit!" to Bob Driehaus's brilliant article about the reemergence of vintage Cincinnati beer brands ["Hudy Dreams," May]. It brought back many fond memories of my youth in Finney town when my dad would take me along on beer runs to pick up cases of Hudepohl, Burger, and even Top Hat at our local drive-thru, He would load up the trunk with his empty cases (returnable bottles-what a lost concepti), drive in, and pop the trunk. The clerk knew the drill: Replace the empty cases with full ones, close the trunk, and give Dad the bill. Never Budweiser, Coors, or Miller-only Cincinnati brews.

Through this lesson in beer choices, my father taught me about the importance of brand loyalty, especially for hometown products, because our purchases would help the local economy. After all, he is a P&G lifer-and never dared to stray from their brands, either. As his P&G stock grew, so did his beer tastes, which meant he later splurged on Christian Moerlein. Those were good times!

Dan Okenfuss

Sacramento

Vine Street may divide the city physically, the streetcar may divide the city philosophically, and the casino may divide

the city morally, but even Bearcats and Muskies can agree that beer goes handin -hand with Cincinnati. Greg Hardman's efforts to return the historic Hudepohl brands to Cincinnati are bolstered by new entries in the local brewing scene.

Our past and future are inseparable from our fascination with and dedication to barley and hops.l enjoyed the nostalgic look back at the brewery history in Cincinnati, and even mOIe so, the possibilities of a return to the glory days of downtown brewing. Maybe a Hudepohl tap in City Council Chambers would remind everyone how Cincinnati gets it done:

Brian Smyth Hyde Park

Let's Hear It for Hal

I am a reporter with the Cincinnati Enquirer and was so happy to get the April issue and see a story on Hal McCoy ["Game Changer," by Sridhar Pappu, April]. I have always been inspired by his work and just as much by his attitude toward reporting. He exemplifies the meaning of good rapport. He treated his sources with respect, took what they did seriously, and asked that back in return. He is an incredible talent. It saddens me, the current state of journalism, and while the higher-ups say these cutbacks are necessary, I'm not

always sure that's true. If you take what shines out of your newspaper-if you don't invest in it-it all fades away, eventually. Good luck in whatever you do, Hal! Thank you for your dedication.

Carrie Whitaker

Over-the-Rhine

Remembering Kent State

The retrospective on the shootings at Kent State really resonated with me ["May Day," by Linda Vaccariello, May], As someone who grew up in Northern Ohio but is too young to have memories of the tragedy, my perspective on May 4, 1970, was mostly shaped by what I read in history books. Reading the first-hand accounts of that day provided great context and insight on the events that lead up to the shootings. Thank you for telling that story in an unconventional way.

John Whitmer

Over-the-Rhine

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18 I CINCINNATI I JULI' 2010 .••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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"If Pete Rose was your uncle, these would be the kinds of stories he'd tell a I fa miiy barbecues," -Frontlines

I "Stanley Schratei, the chief of police, I "Today's chicken fanciers, who tend to be

22 gathered us all here and said, 'Play golf!' 2 4 Martha Stewart acolytes, never let the sun 2 6

We couldn't believe It." -Being There set on their chicken droppings," -Dr. Know

JULY 2010 I CINCINNATI I 21

FRONTLINES

LONGLlVE THE KING

A Theater NearVou 4192 premieres July 7 in Los Angeles and opens regionally at AMC Newport on the Levee

on July 14. You can buy tickets online at www.4192movle.com

==- The Crying Game

"You never know what to expect from fans," Rose says. "I knew I was going to break the record, but I didn't expect a nineminute standing ovation. The Cincinnati fans broke me down.

It takes a lot to break me down. I'm different emotionally than most. I'm a tough son of a bitch. I don't think seven minutes woulda done it."

NotUs "Baseball might not like this movie 'cause it shows me in a good light: says Rose. "I hope they like it, but they may not. But when you get down to it. [the film] is all about the game. I

mean, you can apologize for 20 years but it doesn't do any good. And besides, who wants to hear more of that?"

22 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010

In June 1970, nearly two decades before former Major League Baseball . commissioner Bart Giamatti brought the hammer down on one of the sport '5 greatest players, Pete Rose placed a bet that he remembers fondly today. On that June morning, Rose bet Tony Perez $150 that he would be the first player to use the toilets at the new Riverfront Stadium. To clinch this dubious title, Rose exhibited his legendary hustle. He arrived at Riverfront at 11 a,m,eight hours before the 7 p.m. game against the Atlanta Braves -and beat Perez by IS min utes. "[Perez] was turning the corner and I had already finished up," Rose laughs during a phone interview from Las Vegas, where he has made a cottage industry of signing sports memorabilia for fans. Tins story, like so many at hers told by or about Pete Rose, is an artifact from a time when all anybody ever said about the man was, Dam n, that guy loves to p1ay baseboi].

This month, a new documentary film hopes to remind people about tho t Pete Rose, the one who lined a single to leftcenter field on September 11,1985, and surpassed legendary Hall of Famer Ty Cobb. Director Terry L ukernire, an Amelia native who grew up watching the Reds in their prime, says he made 4192.: The Crowning of the Hit King to remind people that there was such a time. "It's mind - boggling where he falls in the game, stat istically," Luke mire says from his office at Barking Fish En tertainment, the artist-owned production company in Covington that made the film. "People are shocked when they see the footage and see, either again or for the first time, what a great player he really was."

And yet it is possible, in light of all the controversy that surrounds Rose-induding recent allegations that bats he commissioned for his record-breaking 1985 season may have been corked-to forget what made him great. After Rose broke the record, he went on to make another 64 hits before he retired in 1986. And from 1984 to 1989 he managed the Reds to four con-

Rose Bud 8~fore Charlie Hustle there was the unsullied Pete. shown here during spring training of his rookie year, 1963.

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secutive second place finishes. But in early 1989, rumors began to swirl that Rosewhos e gambling habit was a well- known secret - had bet not only on baseball, but on the very team he was managing. By that summer, the evidence against Rose was overwhelming;] ohn Dowd, special counsel to the commissioner of baseball, found betting slips and checks containing Rose's fingerprints, handwriting, and signature. The staggering accusations induded a reported gambling habit of at least $10,000 a day on baseball during the 1987 season.

On August 24,1989, came Giamatti's shocking announcement- Pete Rose was banished from the game-which was followed by nearly 1$ years of Rose's inexplicable denials, Remember, Rose didn't own up to his gambling habit until his second autobiography, My Prison Wit hout Bars, published in 2.004. For many, it was too little, too late. Rose's reputation had been permanently tarnished, and he had become something far less than one of the greatest players of all time.

Enter 4192, a love letter to "Charlie Hustle,"the man who now exists only as archival footage, batting stats, Aqua Velva commercials, and lots and lots of sto-

ries. Lukernire conducted more than 25 hours of interviews with Rose, who was all too happy to focus on his accomplishments. "What else can you say about the controversy, about what I did wrong? It's yesterday's news," Rose says. For him, the thrill of a great game is what baseball's all about-and he and his teammates were great entertainers. "Sparky [Anderson] put a whale of an entertaining team together. [The Big Red Machine] had everything you needed as a fan," he says.

Much of the film features Rose speaking directly into the camera. First, he gives you the numbers-the Reds won two World Series, four National League pennants' and six division titles. Then come the stories. Like: It was raining the day before Game 5 of the 1975 World Series against Boston. The Reds, all in uniform, are on a bus driving to Tufts University to practice indoors. Sparky pulls over to ask a gas station attendant for directions. An hour later they're still lost and realize the gas station attendant was a Boston fan.

And Rose still can't resist a good dig.

Three-time All Star Lee May, who played for the Reds from 1965 to 1971, was a hell of a slugger but terrible in the field, "Everybody else said 'I've got it: Lee would say 'Who wants it ?'" Pete recalls in a vciceover, cackling as if May were still out there, squinting against the sun, not catching balls.

If Pete Rose was your uncle, these would be the kinds of stories he'd tell at family barbecues. And while there's nothing strictly new here, the film features extensive interviews with Rose's teammates, guys like Mike Schmidt and Tony Perez, plus insigh ts from people who know Rose well, like Marty Brennaman, "[The film's] importan t because there's a generation or more of fans that don't have a recollection of Pete and the kind of career he carved out for himself on the baseball field," the Reds broadcaster says. "Especially in this city, where he was born and raised and p layed, I think people should see a guy who, if he had three hits in a game, he wanted five. Not too many players like that. Good was never good enough for him."~'

LOCATED IN TIlE HEART OF mSTORIC MARIEMONT SQUARE, ONLY MINUTES FROM MT LOOKOUT, KENWOOD AND NORTHERN KENTIJCKY.

JULY lOID I CINCINNATI I 23

FRONTLINES

Being There

VITAl. STATS Leader -=== Board:

"Best round I ever shot here was a 69, back

i:n my early days," Krueger says. "In fact. I had two 69s. I was

fortunate to be club champion twice, but I was

just a young greenhorn. I never had a

lesson in my life because 1 could never afford lessons:'

I have the highest respect for the Kenwoods, the Camargos -but those were the people of leisure. You know, everything had to be about the dinner and the cocktails and

all tha t was synonymous with golf and tennis. The old school teacher, the hard-nosed real estate guy-he had to go out and make a living. But we said, "Darn it, we deserve this too." It was very congested at public courses, and we were tired of standing in line. I don't mind having my cold beer out by the shed. That's nne. My hotdog. But I wanted a place where I could come out and they say, "Bob, you have a starting time at 9 o'clock at Miami View. And your wife and your children can play."

-llRENT DONALDSON

It's In ___:...__ the Holel -"I guess the

most difficult

hole on the

course would

be number 14.

It was once somewhere in the newspaper, they were trying to decide the

toughest holes in Cincinnati, and they had number 14 at

Miami View. It's a long par going uphill to a green-very sloping."

Fifty years ago, four average citizens decided to carve their own golf course out of a roitingfarm on the west side. Today, Miami View GoLf Club is one of this city's hidden gems. Bob Krueger,a retired schoolteacher who joined before the first hole was dug, reflects back on the dub's workingman heritage.

I think it was '59. One day I was lookIng at a bulletin board-e-at, well, let me be honest with you, a bar+-and 1 saw this flyer that said: "Interested in building a golf course?" So I went to a meeting, and there was a group of maybe 20, 30 guys, talking. They said they had the land, but the big thing was they needed people.

So I went home to my wife Julie and I said I'd like to join this golf club for $300, and she said, "Bob, we don't have $300"-we had six kids at the time. But I came up with my $)00, and I said, "Gee whiz, I'm gonna go up and see what I just bought!" Me and a

guy named Jerry Lorenz took a ride up this little muddy road past 128. Ail I saw was locust trees, a couple lakes, a lot of hills and valleys-just an old farm. But we walked all around and Ierry said, "Bob, this is going to be a golf course."

We came up with enough money to buy a front loader, and hard-working men got out here and did a

lot of the work themselves. Then all at once, I think in 1961, a guy named Stanley Schrotel, the chief of police of Cincinnati, gathered us all out here and said, "Play golf! "We couldn't believe it.

Hey Coach! ..

After teach ing at Oak Hills.

Krueger began teaching at LaSalle High School, where he ta ught gall and in 1961 became the head coach 01 the school's first football team.

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FRONTLINES

Your Q.C. Conundrums, Answered

Dr.Baow

Which came first in the Bluegrass State? What's with all the basement commodes? Chickens? In the city?!

Is Kentucky called the Bluegrass State because ofthe music? Or is the music called bluegrass be~ cause of Kentucky?

-Botanically ChaUenged

Dear Challenged:

The grass was first. Early visitors to the central Kentucky savannah swore that if you squinted in just the righ t way in the crepuscular hours on days when the native grass was in bud, there was something of a blue tinge to the scenery. The Doctor has spent considerable time partying fairly seriously in and around Lexington, an activity frequently leading to squint - inducing post -event physical trauma around sunrise. Even so, he has never seen that blue tinge and has never met anyone he trusts who has seen it. But that's the deal with the grass. The Commonwealth was called the Bluegrass State long before there were cowboy hats or radio, bot h of which contributed significan tly to the success of the musical subgenre we call bluegrass. It would be wrong, it is necessary to add, to credit Lexington as the birthplace of bluegrass music. That

honor goes to the sleepy town of Ro sine, which birthed Bill Monroe, and eventually, the Blue Grass Boys. In the Doctor's experience, the native music in Greater Lexington is boozy renderings of preBeatles rock mixed with a little-even boozier - Stephen Foster.

We'.re house~hunting in one of the city'.s older neighborhoods. Nearl.y every home that we've looked at has a toilet inthe basement. Not a bathroom, mind you: Just a toilet. Was this required by some early 20th century bullding code?

-First~Time Buyers

Dear Buyers:

If you do buy one of those early zothcentury Cincinnati houses, you will find yourself very grateful very quickly for that basement water closet, even though it may be an agoraphobe's nightmare, sitting as it likely does in full view of the coal closet and the workbench. Because that same early zoth -century house is almost certainly not going to have more than one genuine bathroom, and today's busy

Americans have no time to wait around for available space.

Code, however, had nothing to do with the basement bowl. Remember that when the house was built, indoor plumbing was still considered a modern advancement, particularly in inexpensive dwellings, and the buyer was expected to be grateful to have one full and complete inside bathroom. Two-career couples were unheard of in those days, so there was no such thing as equal bathroom rights. Father had first crack at the facilities before going to wor k to pay for the swell ba throom, and then everybody else had his turn. Or hers. Oh, the Doctor misses those days.

But that extra 100 behind the furnace was not designed to, as it were, relieve the pressure on the rest of the family while the paterfamilias laboriously edged those muttonchop whiskers. Our beloved late Auntie Alice-our window into the unself-coriscious mind of early z oth-century Cincinnati and a woman whose comments about the slow pace of the foursome ahead of her on the second green could be heard from the sixteenth hole-explained to us that the basement

26 I CINCINNATI I JULY.2010 .•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

convenience was actually there for the help. Well, actually, she said laundress. And we believe she was correct.

My neighbor just announced he's put.tlng a chicken coop in. his back~ yard! I hate to make a fuss, butwon't. it smell?

-Likes Fresh Eggs as Much as the Next Guy, But •••

Dear Likes:

Congratulat ions. You live in an enlightened, poultry-welcoming city and not in one of those bone headed municipalities where chickens are officially believed to be harmful to the fake Georgian and ChemLawn aesthetic and associated Real Estate Values and are therefore zoned out. Chickens, as long as there is no selfimportant rooster in the mix, ate quiet and pleasant neighbors, always doing their bit to rid the community of bothersome bugs, always happy to lay an egg to start your day out right, and perfectly willing to be turned into fricassee when the egg mechanism at last shuts down. Whether that coop smells has far less to do with the chickens than it does with your neighbor. It takes a great deal of accumulated bugand grain-based chicken dung to reek on a level of offensiveness comparable to that of accumulated horsemeat-based dog poop, a substance that for some reason is perfectly acceptable to zoning boards. Today's chicken fanciers, who tend to be Martha Stewart acolytes, never let the sun set on their chicken droppings.

And the Doctor does not believe for a minute that you hate to make a fuss, or you would not be taking the time to write a meddling letter to The Authority.

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Dr. Know is Albert Pyle. He is not a rea I doctor, bu t he i 51" XI" cut ive director of the Mercantile Library. Curious about the city's

p ecu Ii ariti es? Sub mit yo ur question by mail or e-mail Dr. Know at drknow@cincinnatimagazine.com.

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FRONTLINES

What's Happening

07/0

HIDDEN HARPER Renowned Cincinnati-based minima! realist Charley Harper captured nature's vast essence in two dimensions. But behind his iconic images is a wealth of work never shown to the public-until now. Harper's rare paintings, collages. and works on paper make their debut at Charley Harper; Prev.iously Unseen Orlglna/s. JuLy 15-Aug28 at Phyllis Weston Gallery

2 DRAG QUEEN CITYA straight line never wins in Gay B;ngo, where the bingo cards are musicalinspired and intermission features outrageous drag shows. So brl ng your fiercest drag atti re and your "tease-tt-to- Jesus"' hair. but don't bring grandma. July IS at Ensemble Theatre

4 ri!~:

Puccini'sLa Bohemedeliv-

ers a passionate performance

of love and loss amidst 1 930s Paris, presented by the Cincinnati Opera as the season's grand finale and featuring the Cincinnati Boychoir. July 21, 23 & 25 at Music Hall

INDIE-PENDENTSDAV Celebrate

The Fourth Northside-style at the ann ual Northside Rock 'N Roll Carnival. The indie-flavored fete dishes live music, circus freaks, drag shows. and the notori ous beer garden. Get ready to rock. July.2 &:3 at Jacob Hoffner Park

f

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a method to the bass-anddru m duo's madness. With precision synchronicity, Brian Gibson and Brian Ch ippendale

deliver a pulsating, thrash i ng performance packed with plenty of m oshing, head-banging, and barely controlled chaos. You've been warned. July 21 at Southgate House

MAJOR IN MI NORS Youth perform-

ers hail from all corners of the globe for The World Plano Competition, where Beethovens-in-training compete through performances of classtcs and are judged by an international jury. July 11-18 at CincinnatiArt Museum and Aronoff Cen ter for the Arts

ORIGINALSIN CITY In Vegas 360 r Cincml'lati - based photographer Thomas

""Schiff's sweeping, 36o-degree snapshots envelop viewers in the glimmer and sin of the nation's most notorious playground. Feel the decadence. Thru Sept 26 at Cincinnati Art Museum

POPS PROPS Moe 1.ler High School's 50th Anniversary celebration brings the Cincinnati Pops' Hollywood

• INNAME ONLY Artist Mary Louise Holt's exhibition The Great Ohio Wilderness and Its Native People depicts this region's original Native American culture with paintings of wildlife, landscapes, and indigenous people. ThruAugust27at Lloyd Libraryand Museum

ic, fireworks, nati food favorites, and plenty of "celebration" beverages. July .24at Moe.ller High School

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FRONTLINES

(o"var-,draft) n.: an act of overdrawing at a bank; the state of being overdrawn; also,

the sum overdrawn

The Takeaway

111111I111I Are ovedraft fees really going away?

When does a $12. bottle of wine cost $397 Vvhen the . buyer uses a debit card, runs short of funds, and gets stuck paying a $27 overdraft fee-or much more. It's easy to unwittingly rack up hundreds of dollars in overdraft fees when you make more than one debit card purchase or automated teller machine (ATM) withdrawal in a day. And it's not uncommon for banks to charge additional overdraft fees on accounts that are overdrawn beccuse of overdraft fees, and then add to those fees every day the account is overdrawn. Yep, we hear you loud and clear:

Arrrggggh hhh.

But a new Federal Reserve rule will curb this: Regulation E of the Electronic Fund Transfer Act stipulates that, starting July 1, financial institutions can no longer charge fees for overdrafts resulting from ATM withdrawals or one-time debit card transactions on new accounts, unless that consumer has consented to the overdraft service (and therefore, those pesky fees). For existing customers, the rule takes effect August 15.

So I won't have to pay fees for OYerdra.fts anymore? Not for transactions initiated with an ATM or debit card, In fact, one of the goals of the regulation is keeping you from overdrafting your ac-

count in the first place. If you don't specifically opt in for overdraft service, then you won't be allowed to withdraw more by ATM or debit card transaction than you have in the bank. Your purchase or withdrawal will simply be denied. However, take note; The new rule doesn't apply to checks or automatic bill payments made using your checking account -they

BAD MONEY AFTER GOOD

» A 2009 report issued by the Center for Responsible Lending docu mented the amou nt of money Americans were spending on overdraft fees in com parison to com man household items. The sad news:

Americans annually spent more on overdraft fees than they did on fresh vegetables, but sUghtly less than they did on fresh fruit.

Annuol Expendi tur e s {in bill ions);

$0 i4 $8 $12 $16 $20 $24 $28

CEIlEAl: 17.t

POSTAGE: $lB.3

OVERDRAFT FEES: $23.7

can still rack up fees if an overdraft occurs.

Shouldn't we just be more responsl'ble? Of course. One of the primary laws of personal finance is you shouldn't spend more than you have. But in recent years, many banks have automatically put consumers in overdraft programs that don't alert them that they're overdrawing their account. They just allow the purchase, then charge a fee. And those who incur the most fees are often those who have the least money, a 1.008 FDIC survey of automated overdraft programs found. Indeed, according to that study, customers with mote than 10 overdraft transactions in a iz-month period accounted for 84 percent of overdraft fees charged by banks in the United States in 2006. More telling: 75 percent of banks automatically enrolled customers in these overdraft programs, and in some cases, customers were not given the choice to opt out of the automated program.

Marilyn Mocilnikar, senior vice president and director of retail products and delivery at Fifth Third Bank, notes that up until, well, now, Fifth Third customers have been automatically opted in to the program-a program which relied on a computer system known internally (and somewhat ominously) as "the matrix." Bank customers could opt out of it by request only-except that, in reality, they couldn't, because the matrix wasn't programmed to allow it. "Previously we did not have a systematic way of capturing a customer'S overdraft coverage preference," Mocilnikar says.

A're the new regulations really a big deal? They are, especially to the banks. While the rules may go a long way toward improving customers' attitudes toward their bank, those good feelings aren't going to make up for the banking industry's lost revenue. According to the Center for Responsible Lending, banks and credit unions collected nearly $24 billion in overdraft fees in 2008.

30 I CINCINNATI I JULY 20lD ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Stephanie Honan, Fifth Third's assistant public relations manager, estimates that the impact of the new rule will result in losses of "about $20 million a quarter, with about $10 to $15 million realized in the third quarter and the full run -rate of $20 million impact in the fourth."

It'll impact customers, too. As the rule study reveals, median overdraft fees are $27 each, yet 41 percent of overdrafts are debit card transactions for a median amount of only $20-which means that the fee is often greater than the purchase itself. Of course, banks will have to make up those fees somewhere, likely through fees on other services, such as overdraft protection that allows customers to link their checking account with a savings account, credit card, or line of credit to cover transactions in the event of an overdraft. Example: Fifth Third Early Access offers a short-term form of credit with an annual percentage rate of 12.0 percent. In other words, before signing up for a new service, do your homework. Honan also advises that customers use accountmonitoring tools such as Internet banking, text alerts, and e-mail alerts to stay aware of balances and avoid overdrawing them.

Good Idea .. But thl.s Is all pret.ty eenfusing. W.hat's an upstanding etttzen who wants to avoid overdraft~ ing his or her account supposed to do? You have until August 15 to opt in with your bank's overdraft coverage. If you do, one piece of good news is that banks will no longer be able to raise fees willy-nilly, as they have in the past. If you don't, you will be automatically opted out-which, in practical terms, means you will be denied a debit card purchase or ATM withdrawal if you don't have the funds to back it.

Banks are contacting customers in myriad ways to inform them of the changes. What you do is up to you. But keep in mind: If you do nothing, it might save you money you didn't know you didn't have.

-MELISSA DAVIS HALLER

FEE SIMPLE?

> > On August 6, 2008,. the Consumer Federation of America released a survey documenting overdraft fees at the nation's 10 largest banks. The study's overall find ings showed that the aver-

age highest fee charged by these banks increased by 15 percent in nearly five years. In the graph below, we've pulled out th ree of the Cincinnati region's largest banks and updated the data to reflect these ban ks' overd raft charges as they existed at the ti me this magazine went to press in early June. Unless you opt into you r bank's overdraft service, by the tim e you read this, these charges wi II no longer exist for routine ATM and debit card transactions.

$150

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$100

$75

$50

$25

I

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$0

JULY 2010 I CINCINNATI I 31

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REAL ESTATE

Property Values

show stoppers

Will Homearama be able to bounce back?

)REAL -ESTATE VOYEURS will have to get their fix of six-car garages, stone - hewn wine cellars, and home theaters elsewhere this year: For the first time in nearly half a century, Homearama has been cancelled.

The annual orgy of housing excess fell victim to the real- estate bust as cash - strapped builders refused to gamble on speculative construction ofluxury housing. Homearama had been showing signs of distress for at least a few years before the Home Builders Association of Greater Cincinnati pulled the plug in March. Houses from the 2007 and 200 8 shows lingered on the market, and last year's show moved from the pricier Long Cove in Deerfield Township to the less-expensive Carrnelle in Mason, attracting only five builders instead of the usual dozen or so. Those houses, which ranged from $ 5 50, 00 tos 80 0,000, sold more quickly, but they revealed the delicate balancing act at the heart of the home show: Few people can afford to buy a $ 2 million house, but who wants to pay to tour a house they can almost afford to buy?

Other changes to the market have made Homearama houses less fashionable. The shows are usually located in new exurban develop-

ments, while worries about gas prices and the economy are prompting buyers to look for more modest houses and central locations.

But some market watchers believe the megahouse is poised to make a comeback. "They've always been a little harder to sell, especially now with people worried all the time," says real estate agent Diane Tafuri, who recently re-sold a 2007 Homearama house. "I think it's probably going to take a cou pie of years until people feel more comfortable, but there are people out there who have the money, and they want to enjoy themselves. They don't want to leave it all to their grandchildren."

It could even happen sooner than expected:

The high end of the local real estate market has been showing signs of life in 2·010 after at least two years in the doldrums, and building permits for single-family houses were up during the first quarter of this year compared to last year. And last month the HBA announced Homearama's 2011 return. For those who can't wait, previous Homearama houses are currently on the market (see right). On a weekend open house, you won't even need to pay to get in.

-JULIE IRWIN ZIMMERMAN

ONTHE MARKET

The Sanctuary Built for the 2008 show at Long Cove and prked at $1.699 million, this 6,900 -squarefooter on Winding Cape Way in Deerfield Township has 15 rooms. i neluding four full baths and three half-baths. The single-slory house boasts green features such as geothermal HVAC as well as barrelvaulted ceilings and an outdoor fireplace in the covered rear patio.

The Abruzz:o From the .2007 show at the Vintage Club in Montgomery, this $1.875 million transitlonal home built by Daniels Homes features Tuscan finishes. a first-floor master suite and two

se cond -tloor sui tes with adjacent sitting rooms and private baths, plus a basement pub room.

3& I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010 .••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Good Advice in 60 Seconds:

Anne Wainscott, fashion illustrator

You're 93 and look fabulous. How did you get your start In fashion.?

I always loved to draw My mother was from Parisand my father from Russia. He was a tailor.

I grew up playing with trimmings.

Do you still sew?

I just made white cotton slipcovers for my couch. I bought the couch when I got married. It's more than 60 years old. I made a jacket out of upholstery fabric once.

.1 saw the wh ite on white texture and it remtnded me of Chanet I knew it needed to be a jacket.

You"ye always made your own clothes and had along career at Shillito's. Are you much of a. shoppe.r?

I Just got th isernbroidered white shirt and black skirt from Ottoman Imports on Main Strasse in Covington. I've always loved the Burlington Antique Show. I like HighStreet, Anthropologle, and Ikea.

H'ow have fashion trends changed over the years?

It used to be the length of the hem that changed. Now anything goes. It's gotten more relaxed,

which I. think is so much easier. In the '50s and '60s you wore white gloves, always

a hat, and changed your purse every day. Everyday!

What elements have e.ndured foryou personally?

I love beige and white

c lathes, pink geraniums with white petunias, gilded mirrors and pa.intedfurniture. When I moved into this apartmentlOyearsago, the first thing I did was paint that mural by the front door. I wanted the place to look like me.

-ALYSSA JlRANDT

JULY 2010 I CINCINNATI I 37

•

MARKET WATCH

Good Taste

a moveable feast

The new food trucks are here! The new food trucks are here! Meet two of them.

Name

Location

The Scene

Backstory

"I fought the law .. ."

Flnd'em

Cafe de Wheels

Court & Walnut Sts., downtown

Office workers out for a late lunch. Some scoff ("Girl. they want $5 for a hamburger"): others plunk down the dough.

)} THE CONCEPT CAME from the west-s-where mobile food trucks roam the streets of Los Angeles=- but Tom Acito and Dave Neal, the respective owners of Cafe de Wheels and Sefior Roy's Taco Patrol' brought them to the Queen City and have attracted a loyal following. They've also hit a road bump: a 1987 law that bans mobile food vendors on city streets. At press time, city council was considering a pilot project to assign truck locations downtown. "I think food trucks add to the culinary and social scene of the city," Acito says. So do we. ~ AIESHA D. LITTLE

Owner Tom Acito spent 20 years living in Los Angeles and knows the power of street food. "I've eaten out of many [taco trucks]," he says. Cafe de Wheels hit the streets last December.

Actto formed: the Cincinnati Food Truck Alliance earlier this year (it includes himself and: the owners of Senor Roy's, Haba'Fiero's Burrito Wagon. and Taco Azul) and is talking with city officials about food truck-frlendlv laws.

Check the Cafe de Wheels Twitter feed for locations and times. www.twitter.comlburgerBgood

Crisl'Y Chicken This buttermilk-doped breast is tossed wit h seasored !Iou r an d fried

Cincinnati Cuban Cuba n pork and! ha m, on ion. pickles. balsa mic marmalade. and: Swiss

Name

Senor Roy's Taco Patrol

Main & Central. Over-the-Rhine

The SCene

Serior Roy's attracts offlce workers during the day, but on the weekends and some weeknights, it services the bar scene.

Backstory

Last August, owner Dave Neal discovered California's food trucks. "Not only was the food fresh and wonderful. it was interesting to see people dining on the sidewalk." he says.

"I fought thelaw_ .• "

Like Acito. Neal has been meeting with city officials about the food vendor law. He says that he and other owners are simply following the national trend. "We're already part of the Cincinnati dining community." he adds.

Find 'em

For locations and times, check SeFior Roy's Twitter feed. www. twiUer.comlsenorroys

Burrito

Al pas tor pork sh ou lder wi th a pineapp leadobo marinade

Nachos

(om chips with grill~d fla nk steak. melted (h i huah ua sa uce an d pi ckled red 0 nion

38 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

SHOPPING

STOREFRONT

master plan

At D Zin in Mason, they really know how to work a rOOITI.

» DAN I EL GRUBB'S G.RAN D.FATHER is in the furniture business. His father is in the furniture business. And in 1991, at age 25, Daniel Grubb started his own furniture business: Rowe Showplace, But a few years ago, Grubb realized he needed to do more than just sell furniture-his customers wanted design advice. So in 2.007, he closed Rowe Showplace and started D Zin. "We started asking ourselves, what more can we do to service the customer?" says Grubb.

So, in addition to offering transitional to contemporary furniture styles for living, family, and bedrooms, as well as the kitchen, this store supplies a vision. "We want to be a resource for whatever our clien ts need:' explains Grubb, who can arrange for custom electrical work, if, say, a home theater is in your plans. D Zin's trained staff help customers develop a game plan so that even if you take a year to create the space of your dreams, the pieces you buy will fit with the room. Grubb calls it the Master Plan Counsel Guide. "The Master Plan allows us to talk

about where we want the room to end up so we don't make a

(COVET)

mistake getting there,"he says.

His wife Carol is the store's visual coordinator and creates most of the displays (just try not to be happy in a cozy barrel chair upholstered in a bold contemporary chocolate, white, and celery floral), Grubb and his team strive to help customers identify what's important to them, be it sofa, bed, cocktail table, or TV stand. "It's not my room, it's your room," says Grubb. That's comforting. -ALYSSA BRAND'!·

»Jackson wing back chairin "Sundial" $994

»Glass ice bucket $109

» Soho ottoman in Java ($189) and stone ($159) with fitted metal trays ($69,99 each)

D Zin, 9376 Mason Montgomery Rd., Mason, (513) 398-3946

••••••• JULY 2010 I CINCINNATI I 39 _~_

The Itinerary

collectors' items

These Kentucky museums showcase the state's eclectic heritage.

Movie stars. Athletes. Miniatures. Kentucky museums have it all. Their varying subject matter invites visitors to peer inside the lives of Kentuckians past and present. Head to where the grass is blue and bone up on yOU!: local history and culture.

Kentucky Gateway Museum Ce.nte.r, Maysville

On the first floor of the Kentucky Gateway Museum Center, you can view the bling=-diamonds, rubies, sapphires, and more-from London's Savage & Sons jewelry store. Too bad all of the pieces are smaller than your thumbnail. The replica ofthe store and its contents are part of the Kathleen Savage Browning Miniatures Collection. Browning, a Maysville native, began collecting miniatures (all in 1 :12 scale, meaning one inch equals one foot) in the mid-rczos and has more than enough pieces to fill the approximately

Kentucky Gateway Museum Center 215 Sutton St., Maysville, (606) 564-5865. www.kentucky gatewaymuseumcenter.org

3,:WO square feet the center has allotted for this project. The 150 -plus exhibits indude replicas of a stateroom on the Titanic and local treasures like the Russell Theater and the Cox Building. The Kentucky Gateway Museum Center is also home to a genealogical research library that includes 20,000 photos and other images, 7,000 manuscripts and documents, and 4,000 rolls of microfilm, all available for tracing family histories throughout the state.

Behringer-Crawford Museum, Covington

It's right in our backyard, atop a hill in Devou Park with a sweeping view of Cincinnati, but how many of us have actually gone to the Behringer- Crawford Museum? With transportation as one of its major themes, the museum covers how we get around, exploring everything from rivers and open roads to trains and airplanes throughout the four exhibit galleries. It's home to the

Behri nger-Crawford Museum 1600 Montague Rd., Covington, (859)491-4003, www.bcmuseum.org

last streetcar to run through Northern Kentucky in the 1950S, fully retooled with talking mannequins that tell the tales of traveling by trolley from the perspectives ofthe conductor, a housewife shopping downtown, and a boy riding the rails to meet friends. Yeah, it's a little weird, but weird is part of the museum's DNA. It still displays some of the wild and wacky findings of its namesake William Behringer, including the body of a two-headed calf from Georgetown, Ohio.

Muhammad All Cen.ter, L.oulsvlUe "I shook up the world!" Cassius Clay, a.k.a, Muhammad Ali, shouts after winning the heavyweight championship title fight against Sonny Liston in 1964. This emotional outburst appears in the short film that acts as your introduction to the Muhammad Ali Center in downtown Louisville. The $82 million showplace opened to much fanfare in fall 2005 and now maws more than 100,000 people a year, a testament to Ali's continued popularity, long after his 1981 retirement from boxing. You'll get the scoop on all of Ali's battles in and outside of the ring, including his status as a conscientious objector during the Vietnam War and his bout against] oe Frazier' known as "The Thrilla in Manila." You can get into the ring with the interactive exhibition, Train with Ali, where visitors practice on a speed bag and shadow box with the champ. And don't forget to head to the video-an-demand area where you can watch recordings of 15 of Ali's more memorable fights.

The Rosemary Clooney House, Augusta

A tiny house along the waterfront in Au-

Muhammad All Center 144 N. Sixth St., Louisville, (502)584-9254, www.alicenter.org

The Rosemary Clooney House 106 E. Riverside Dr., Augusta, (866) 898-8091, www. rosemarydooneyhouse.com

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40 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010 .••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

gusta serves as a memorial of sorts to one of Kentucky's grande dames- Rosemary Clooney. The actress/singer died in 2002, but here, her memory lives on. Folks around these parts know the Clooney name well, bu t it was former Miss America and August a native Heather French Henry and her husband, former Lt. Governor Dr. Steve Henry, who led the effort to build a storehouse for Clooney artifacts in her hometown. Visitors can browse two floors of memorabilia, including the White Christmas room, dedicated to the 1954 movie of the same name. In it, you'll find replicas of the red robe and blue dress Clooney wore in the film as well as the military jacket worn by Bing Crosby. There are also candid family photos (George's prom picture, Nina and Nick's wedding picture) and a family tree in the gallery on the first floor.

Kentuc:Icy's Historic:

House .Museums

If you're a history buff, odds are you've come across some of the grand old homes that dot Kentucky's landscape. From the Dinsmore Homestead in Burlington all the way down to Riverview at Hobson Grove in Bowling Green, the museums are the former estates of the state's 18th and rcth century bigwigs in agriculture, military, and business. Tools used to produce hemp in the 1800s are on display at Louisville's Farmington Historic Home, and the Pope Villa in Lexington is one of the best surviving domestic designs of Benjamin Henry Latrobe, who was known as the country's first professional architect. You'll get a peek back in time that just may help you appreciate the comforts to be found in your own home.

-A1ESHA D. LITTLE

Kentuc:ky's Historic House Museums www.vpa.org/museumsky.html

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PII'DI.MANCEI SD IAllTHll IN !7( ~aMI ARDUND IVIIY 'lUI YIAIS~

International Violin Competition of Indianapolis

Sm12-26

2010

This September see the world's most promising violinists from the 12th through the 26th at the Quadrennial International Violin Competition of Indianapolis. Ma~k your calendar. Stir your senses.

Sept. 12-15 Duke Energy Preliminaries

Sept. 17-20 Indianapolis Power & light Company (lPt} Semi-Finals Sept. 22-23 Classicel Finals with the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra Sept. 24-25 BSA lifeStructures Finals with the ISO

Sept. 26 IPL Gala Awards Ceremony

Tickets available at www.violin.org or by callinq 317-638-IVCI. Day-of-eV"ennickets only available at each venue.

~.

PHOTO BY DENIS Fit KEllY. JR.

~ ....

Over 75years of authentic Italian cooking.

6th & Wash,ington: • Newport 859.581.3065· www.pompillos.com

JULY 2010 I CINCINNATI I 41 _~_

Cincinnati Magazine and Christian Moerlein celebrated May's beer-themed issue with a sold-out launch party at The Rookwood Pottery Company.

FEATURED S'PON,SOR: Eckerli" Meats

Er in Knodel, Sea n Rh in ey, I."". N i e I sen a nd Ioh n Knodol

Ann Rean, Ginger Vanderlinde, Clai'" Vanderlind. and Eli,ab.th North

PROMOTION

PHOTOGRAPHY BY PAUL.A NORTON

•

In

Christian MOell,in'> Greg Hardman wekorned the crowd

Ed MeM.,I", Ii Eva S,h ott M,M.,t,,,

es

Sea n Ke II ey with State R, presentative D, nise D rlehaus

The Rookwo od Polt, ry Company's Ch ,is Rose unveiled tho MOellei" N·orthern lib.,ti., slein

Cincinnati Magazine and the Madeira Chamber of Commerce welcomed more than 300 shoppers to a Girls Night Out shopping event in downtown Madeira.

FEATURED SPONSOR: Mercedes Benz

Mich.ll. Hid«, Kelly M<Cord and Erin Turnbull

Lisa Raterman, Pam Schreiher on d Mo nica D.F.-.iles

eat.

shop. play. live.

J. Peck Jewe.lers 1981 Madison Road 513,321.4367

O'Bryon's Irish. Pub 1998 Madison Road 513,321.5525

Morrison & Me 1979 Madison Road 513.232.7463

Kismet 2037 Madison Road 513.871,7879

indigenous, a handcrafted gallery

2010 Madison Road 513.321.3750

Ten Thousand Villages 2011 Madison Road 513.871.5840

Bob Roncker's Running Spot 1993 Madison Road 513,321,3006

Jack Wood Gallery 2041 Madison Road 513,321.7077

Annual Summer Sidewalk Sale July 10-11

Third Thursday Wine Walk July 15, 5-8

• Extended hours

• Exclusive shopping • Refreshments

Join us July 15 for our Wine Walk benefit, "Chasing Rainbows." Thefundraiser is for the construction of Amigos Hospitalito Atitl.an in Guatemala in honor of

Patty Fries Montagna, friend and graduate of St. Ursula Academy. Come to O'Bryonvilieand enjoy the

party, the shopping, and the giving.

• • •• • • • •

• • •••••

Getting to O'Bryonville is easy, We are located on Madison Road just east of East Walnut Hills and west of Hyde Park. Spend an hour or enjoy the day in Cincinnati's historic O'Bryonville.

WEST SIDE STORY I BY JACK HEFFRON

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oa loals

Can the Gambl.e House be saved? The good people of Westwood are willing to try.,

espite the dreary weather, when I heard last winter that a rally would be held to save the embattled Gamble House on Werk Road in Westwood, I decided to check it out. The 13-room house, built in the 183 os, had been in the news as concerned west side citizens struggled to shield it from its owners, the Indian Hill-based Greenacres Foundation, which had announced its intention to tear the place down. No doubt I would see a handful of shivering, well- intentioned do-gooders pacing with signs in front of the haggard mansion. But to update my membership in the Well-Intentioned Do-Gooders Club, I thought I'd swell the ranks.

W11at I saw as I drove along Werk Road bordered on the surreal. Easily more than a hundred people lined the sidewalks on both sides of the road in front of the Gamble House, shakingtheir signs at the passing drivers, many of whom honked in loud support. Vans from two local TV stations were knifed into spots a couple of blocks away. Unable to find an open space, I turned around and drove back through the cheering gauntlet of protestors. With the streets just as jammed on the other side of the house, I turned

around again and drove through one more time, staggered by the enthusiasm-and sheer size -of the crowd exhorting each other with steamy breaths of defiance.

This couldn't be real. But it was happening. The question then became-why? West-siders care about their community as much as anyone, but historic preservation isn't exactly the type of lightning rod that gooses average joes and janes from their couches and shoves them out the door into a freezing afternoon to stand by a road lugging signs in support of a house that, until recently, many didn't know existed. Something else must be going on.

The Internet forums hadn't provided a clue that a groundswell was burbling. I had heard no impassioned talk among neighbors or at the grocery store or coffee houses or resta urants. Out of the blue, it seemed that west -siders were mad as hell and weren't going to take it anymore. But mad about what? Was an old house that no one had lived in for years really igniting such a spirited call to arms?

The Gamble House is a beau tiful place, no question. A clapboard Victorian with Italianate features, it sits on 21 rolling acres on Werk Road, a couple of blocks from Mother of Mercy High School in the heart of Westwood. Though it has remained unoccupied since 1961, when Olivia Gamble died, for many years it was

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o z VI z

~

[( ,. w z o f" <I;

'" f-

ell

~

44 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

zealously preserved under the eye of] ames N. Gamble's grandson, Louis Nippert, a wealthy and well- known local tycoon who, perhaps most famously, was a part -owner of the Reds during the days of the Big Red Machine. After significant restoration in 1991, the house was given a preservation award by the Miami Purchase Association (now the Cincinnati P reservation Association) but since then-or rather, since Nippert's death in late 199z-the house has been sliding slowly downhill, figuratively speaking. In truth, it needs a lot of work, but according to an inspection report, it is structurally sound. The report estimates repair costs between $300,000 and $400,000. (C. Francis Barrett, the attorney for Greenacres, contends that the cost to restore the home would be much higher.in the $2 million range.) Though the windows are now boarded up, it retains a certain magisterial grace.

Given the house's location, the typical west - sider has driven past it hundreds, even thousands, oftimes, But I'll wage r that until a few months ago none of them had any idea it was called The Gamble House or that it had been the home (from 1875 to 1932) ofJames N. Gamble, philanthropist, inventor of Ivory Soap and creator ofIvorydale, benefactor of such local landmarks as the University of Cincinnati's Nippert Stadium and Christ Hospital's research center, scion of the famous Gamble family-as in Procter &-that played a pretty big role in building Cincinnati.

For years I drove or jogged past and admired the place, but I didn't know it had a name or even that it was vacant. I assumed that members of the local gentry lived there, cozy in their retreat from the surrounding neighborhood that was, well,

Hall, opened in 1889, thanks in part to the civic leadership of]ames N. Gamble. The hall is located on Harrison Avenue, which had been the main artery connecting Westwood to downtown Cincinnati during Gamble's day, and through his efforts in support of a rail system that had been located nearby, the area grew into what is now the city's largest community.

Across the street stands the gorgeous stone facade of the Westwood United Methodist Church, another gift from Mr. Gamble, who, according to the church's website, matched the contributions of the 150 other members of the congregation five to one to pay for the church, which opened in 1897. Around the corner and a few blocks down Montana Avenue sprawls the Gamble- Nippert YMCA. Residential streets in the neighborhood include Gamble Avenue; Penrose Place (named for Gamble's wife, the former Margaret Penrose); and Daytona Avenue, named for Gamble's vacation home in Daytona, Florida.

OK, I was starting to understand the passion behind the battle to save the home. Mr.]ames N orris Gamble had touched a lot of lives, and his influence and generosity continues to pervade Westwood. The research I'd done about him since that first rally revealed a staggering list of accomplishments. He was, by all accounts, not only fabulously successful in business and a forward - thinking visionary but a community-rninded citizen and a helluva nice guy. Maybe the fight was less about the house than about preserving the memory of a man who was, without question, Westwood's all-time leading resident.

That theory was pretty much confirmed by the Kissels. They looked nothing like the rabble-rousing firebrands I expected.

in transition. What, then, had turned this In their middle years, they immediately impressive yet largely anonymous home strike you as reserved and refined. With his into acallsece!ebre?To find out, I contacted lush white hair and white goatee, Greg, an the group fueling the fight. architect, would look at home mounted on

a snorting steed in paintings of the Battle GREG AND LIZ Kissel of the Westwood of Gettsyburg. Liz, a registered dietician, is Historical Society have spearheaded what petite and exudes a q Diet sophistication. quickly has become an uproar. We met at They're life -long west - siders-s-she from

the Henke Winery in Westwood, where the broad bay windows next to our table look ou t on the stately Wes twood Town

Cheviot, he from Bridgetown. For the next two hours they outlined the history of the house and the fight to save it.

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JULY 2D1O I CINCIN;NATI I 4S •••

WEST SIDE STORY

Concern about the fate of the Gamble House is not new for them, Though most of us began hearing about it in February, the house has been a steady blip on their radar since they helped form the Westwood Historical Society in 2002,

"From the very beginning that was one of the first questions everybody would ask," Liz says, "W11at 's going to happen to the Gamble House? It's been there forever, but nobody really knows what goes on, You don't see a lot of activity except for people cutting the grass periodically," To find an answer, she contacted Carter Randolph, executive vice president of the Greenacres Foundation, who represents Louise Nippert, Louis's widow, (Randolph also oversees the Louise Dieterle Nippert Trust.) Though Liz says Randolph was vague in his responses to her initial inq uiries a bout the house, she felt that no plans were being made to change the home in any way, and the society's concern was unwarranted. "There didn't seem to be an urgency," Greg adds, "There didn't seem to be much for us to follow up on,"

And so they didn't, Years passed, They met with Randolph a few times, even toured the place in 20 07 and 2008, and although they remained wary, they believed that Greenacres held the house's best interest at heart. Then in March 200 9, in response to a neighbor's complaint, the house was cited by the city for its peeling paint and broken sidewalk, The city contacted Randolph requesting repairs, In August 2009, the house was officially transferred from the trust to the foundation, in what amounted to little more than some paperwork. The city sent more requests for repairs to Randolph, now representing Greenacres as the owner, While some repairs were made, according to the city's records, that file also indicated that the foundation planned to demolish the house.

Historical society member Bob Prokop saw the declaration of intent on the city'S Community Problem Oriented Policing (CPOP) website, an online version of building and code violations records, Prokop and his fiancee, Laura Twichell, have been in Westwood all of three years, They moved from New Jersey-not for jobs, but

to take advantage of Cincinnati's housing market. "You can't find an affordable house with character there,"Prokop said, His love for classic homes has led to his interest in fighting for the Gamble House, Members of the society and Westwood Concern, a group of private citizens dedicated to civic causes in the community, gathered on Martin Luther King]r, weekend to plot strategy, They needed to find a way to convince the city= and the owners-of the house's historic importance and its cherished place in the hearts of west - siders, A pretty tail order for a house that a lot of people didn't know about.

"They just know it as the big yellow house," Liz says. "And because it sits back so far, people drive by it and can't see it."

The committee leading the charge to save the house, therefore, had to broadcast that story as quickly as possible and hope the local citizenry would follow the call to action. The Kissels agree that when people hear the story of James N. Gamble and the figh t to save the house, they climb aboard the bandwagon,

Of course, being on the bandwagon and helping to push it down the road are altogether different. Sure, the average resident would prefer that such a unique place be preserved, but is that resident really going to do anything about it? Perhaps the folks at Greenacres had the same thought. And just in case, they moved fast in pushing the city for a permit to demolish.

Big mistake,

THE PEOPLE LEADING the charge are a savvy bunch. They wrote letters to the city, sent fliers to local residents, appeared on local radio shows, They launched a socialmedia campaign that spread the word in ways never possible before, Society member Mary KuhI set up a Facebook page that in just a few months drew nearly },OOO members. Prokop, a web designer, fed the page with regular updates and created savethegamblehouse.org, which defaults to the Facebook page"Save the Historic Gamble Estate NOW!" He also sent 01.1 t more tweets than a flock of starving egrets. An online petition to save the house gathered 1,500 signatures in a matter of weeks,

The sweep of interest rolled way beyond the boundaries of Westwood-to every community 111 the city, to transplants in Texas, Arizona, and California, even as far away as Northern Ireland, from which the Gamble family had emigrated almost 20 0 years ago. Prokop came upon the blog of Nelson McCausland,. Northern Ireland's Minister of Culture, Arts, and Leisure, who, purely by chance, posted an entry in February about James Gamble Sr. putting him in the "Scotch - Irish Hall of Fame," Prokop commented on the entry, explaining the fight to save lames N. Gamble's house. McCausland was so moved by the story that he sent a letter of support that was presented to city council in May before the unanimous vote to designate the home as an "historic district overlay" and put it on the Cincinnati Historic Landmark list.

The designation offers some protection, a few hoops that Greenacres would have to jump through before bringing in the wrecking ball, but there are limits. Despite the designation, the house could still be demolished, And Greenacres contends that the request for the demolition permit predates the designation anyway so they're free to do what they want. Judge Norbert Nadel was scheduled to make a decision on that question, but in late May the case was referred to the U.S. District Court of the Southern District of Ohio after the attorney for Greenacres filed more claims challenging the constitutionality of council's decision, That delays the final decision, which will likely be appealed no matter what it is. Translation: This fight could drag on for some time,

The broad support suggests that the movement has spread beyond a classic west side-east side battle, and the Kissels agree tha t this is much more than Cincinnati's typical trench warfare. "Maybe that had something to do with it at first, but it's grown much larger than a west side thing," Greg says, Liz concurs, noting that they hear frequently from sast-siders who support the cause,

And it's not as if Greenacres is some rapacious corporation gleefully eager to flatten our history to build condos, Greenacres puts much of its time and resources

46 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

into programs designed, as they state on their website, "To encourage conservation and appreciation of nature by providing the public, particularly children, opportunities to study plant and animal life in their natural settings." The foundation wants to extend the programs already in place in Indian Hill to the Gamble property. Tough to argue with such a noble undertaking. Westwoodians wonder, however, wh y the house can't be part of the plan. The historical society, according to Liz Kissel, has offered a number of suggestions for ways the house could be used. "We researched other historic houses and how they were repurposed," she says. "We came up with a bunch of different suggestions. [Carter Randolph] said none of them are viable." (Randolph contends that he's never received a written proposal from the historical society and that" any uses of the property would have to be very respectful of the Gambles and the Nipperts.")

Still, Prokop says that everyone in the group has worked long hours in the past few months, noting that when he would email the Kissels at one in the morning, he'd usually receive an immedia te reply. He has thrown himself completely into the cause, believing that the house, and the man it honors, are worth what he calls his" second full-time job."

And as the story ofJames N. Gamble spreads, it's likely that more and more folks will pick up protest signs and march -if only symbolically. That may still be necessary. In late April, the Cincinnati Preserva ~ tion Association offered to buy the house, including a small piece of land for access. Attorney Barrett says CPA's bid was not a formal offer, and that the foundation has concerns about the intended use of the property, which have been expressed to CPA's interim director Paul Muller. The Kissels believe the CPA could work well in partnership with the Greenacres educational programs. But would such an uneasy alliance actually work? Maybe, in a way, we owe it to the guy. The Kissels certainly feel that way.

"We just want them to give us a chance to he stewards," Greg says, "for someone who, frankly, was a steward for us ."(11

[Cincinnati Magazine]

BEST MAGAZINE IN OHIO 2008,2009,2010

-OHIO EXCELLENCE IN JOURNALISM AWARDS

JULY 2010 I CJNCJNNA.TJ 147 •••

MODERN TIMES I BY JACOB BAYNHAM

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e

Like a Marine on patrol, Myron Reynolds scouts the city for homeless veterans ..

ying on a urine- stained mattress inside the ticket booth of an abandoned parking lot near the Ohio River, Doug could be the sale survivor of some urban catastrophe. His mattress barely fits inside the booth, and the drafty Plexiglas windows are scrawled with graffiti, but the thrumming 1-75 overpass above him keeps him dry, and that is a blessing.

Doug's living situation seems post-apocalyptic because, in a way, it is. Over the last three years, the world as he's known it has collapsed. First his wife died, then he took up drinking to cope. He lost his house in the process,

and started sleeping on the streets. Now he panhandles behind Macy's during the day. At night he returns to his ticket -booth home, pulls a Captain Morgan baseball cap low over his bearded face, and sleeps. "We all have our own circumstances," he says. "I ain't blaming the system, 1 ain't blaming nothing. I made myself."

Over the noise of the rain one soggy spring morning, Doug hears car doors slam and four men approach, calling out his name. He rises slowly in the booth, feeling for his knife. Just the other day, four skinheads wandered into a nearby camp and beat a homeless man. News like that spreads fast on the streets, and Doug isn't taking chances.

But the men calling his name aren't a threat; they're from the Greater Cincinnati Behavioral Health Services (GCBHS) homeless outreach program. Among them is Myron Reynolds, a 40 -year-old former Marine and cop turned caseworker who is part of a new effort to locate Cincinnati's mentally ill homeless veterans and put them in touch with services that can help.

Reynolds greets. Doug and strikes up a conversation, even as a freight train passes overhead and threatens to swallow his words. They are an incongruous pair. Reynolds, broad-shouldered in a black North Face jacket, is fresh -faced and confident. Slouched in his ticket booth, Doug is disheveled, wary, and defensive. With a white beard and misty eyes, Doug looks 65, but could be much younger. A life like Doug's can carve yeats into a man's face.

Reynolds asks Doughow long he's been living like this, and ifhe needs anything. He has been told that Doug was in the military, and Doug confums the rumor: he served in the Air Force from 1982 to 1987, when he was honorably discharged. Reynolds asks Doug what medications he's been prescribed-a polite way to find out if Doug has a diagnosed mental health condition. Doug admits he has a drinking problem, but says he doesn't take any medications.

Reynolds explains that there's help if Doug wants it. There's the M t. Airy Shelter, for example, which reserves 26 of its beds for veterans. There's the Joseph House on

48 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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Republic Street in Over-the - Rhine, which offers substance abuse programs and halfway housing for veterans. And there's the Veteran's Administration, of course, which also offers substance abuse treatment, rehabilitation, and transitional housing. By the end of the conversation, it's clear that Doug recognizes Reynolds and his colleagues as allies. Still, he's noncommittal. So Reynolds slips Doug his card." Stop by and see me," he says, and walks away.

Back in the car, Reynolds isn't fazed by Doug's ambivalence. "You can't make anybody do anything they don't want to do," he says. "It's not gonna happen." He's been at this since last September, when GCBHS hired him to join the Projects for Assistance in Transitions from Homelessness (PATH) team as a special liaison for veterans. It takes a veteran to find a veteran, the theory went, and the federal Substance Abuse and Mental Health S ervices Administration granted the Ohio Department of Mental Health the seed money to fund this pilot program.

Since then he has helped dozens of vets access everything from hot meals and heal th care to rehab and psychiatric treatment. But the first challenge with each of them is the one he faces today with Doug, huddled in the dilapidated ticket booth in the rain, "The main thing," says Reynolds, "is to get him off the streets."

"IT'S HARD FOR us as non-veterans to match veterans with resources," says Debbie DeMarcus, who supervises the PATH program. That's where Reynolds comes in. He understands the complex safety net of agencies established to help America's former soldiers. He also understands the difficulties of connecting with those men and women once they've dropped out of conventional society. "We've always seen homeless veterans, especially the older Vietnam veterans," DeMarcus says. But last year, PATH's outreach workers only identified 17 veterans. In his first seven months on the job, Reynolds found 61. It's a mission that he's embraced wit h the vigor, tenacity, and the Semper Fi persistence of, well, a Marine. It's in his blood.

Reynolds was 17 years old when he enlisted-so young that his mother had to sign the paperwork. A week after his graduation from Woodward High School, he shipped out to boot camp. He served with the Marines from 1988 to 1992; in 1990, his service included driving an amphibious assault vehicle called an Am'I'rac in the deserts of the Middle East during the first Gulf War. Back home in Cincinnati, Reynolds became a police officer, patrolling Districts 2 and 5. But for a man who likes helping people, police work soon wore on Reynolds.

"I could put someone in jail on Friday, on Monday they'd be out, and on Tuesday I'd get a call for the same problem as on Friday," Reynolds recalls. He wanted to playa role in changing people's lives, but that wasn't happening the way he'd hoped. Then, in 1997, his friend and fellow cop Daniel Pope was killed while serving a warrant in Clifton Heights. Reynolds questioned his own passion for police work. "A lot of police officers have always wan ted to be police officers," he says. "For me that was never a goal,"

Reynolds fmally quit the force in 2000, enrolling in criminal justice and human services classes at the University of Cincinnati. Working at the Talbert House as a men tor for young men with substance abuse problems and mental health issues, he found his calling in social work. He still drives through the city with the streetscanning eyes of a cop looking for trouble. Bu t the kind of trouble be's looking for is different these days.

Veterans are a unique subset among Cincinnati's men tally ill homeless. They're more likely to have symptoms of PostTraumatic Stress Disorder, for example, which can lead to substance abuse and a host of other psychological problems. And then there's the military training itself, which emphasizes pride, self-reliance, and a put -up-and - shut -up attitude. The old "Army of One"mantra can be hard to shed. Reynolds says many mentally ill homeless veterans have difficulty admitting they need help. Fewer still have the wherewithal to find it and the humility to accept it.

JULY 2010 I CINCINNATI 149 •••

MO.DERN TIMES

Talking to a fellow veteran helps, but it doesn't seal the deal. "Just because I walk into a camp and say 'Hey, I'm a veteran,' they don't just start telling me everything," Reynolds says. "It takes aperiodof adjustment, of them actually knowing me." To cut through the initial distrust, Reynolds tells stories abou t his own time as a Marine. "That may have nothing to do with them getting off the street," he says, "but that's 11 Ii ttle hole that I just opened for them." It may be months before they're ready to make a change. But when the time is right, they know who to call.

The design of the project also helps Reynolds make inroads. Every time he hits the streets to visit old clients or goes out on a reconnaissance mission looking for new ones, be's accompanied by one of the peer workers from the Joseph House-veterans themselves who were once homeless and substance abusers. Now they get paid to visit camps with Reynolds, and they often run into people they know. Standing

at Reynolds's side, their presence alone is proof that starting a new life is possible.

TO IDENTIFY CL.IENTS, Reynolds often relies on the fact that the homeless veteran community in Cincinnati is surprisingly well-connected. At soup kitchens, in camps, or wandering the streets, they seem to find each other. "It's just like magnets," says Ray Holley, one of the Joseph House peer support workers. "Veterans have a certain bearing, a body language. It's how they present themselves."

There's even a homeless encampment ill. Queensgate that everyone calls"the Veterans' Cam p," Tucked into a leafy scrap of land between two busy roads, the camp is invisible from the street. But Reynolds and Holley know which bush to push out of the way to find the entrance. And when they walk in, Tom is there to greet them.

An army reserve veteran, Tom is gaunt, with thick, smoky glasses and a rattling cough. He wears a grubby polo shirt tucked

smartly into high - hitched trousers. He's a man of few words and moves like a whisper. About five years ago, Tom established this camp with military efficiency and maximum functionality. The boozy havoc of some other homeless enclaves is nowhere in sight. Strips of carpet on the ground help with the mud. A tarp tied to four trees and propped wit h a length of PVC pipe keeps dry a box of kindling for a wood - burning stove. Gallon jugs of drinking water are stacked in one corner. In another is a table of pots and pans-all clean. At the far end of the camp there's even an outhouse. And tied to the central beam of Tom's sleeping quarters, an American flag flutters above a grocery cart full of odds and ends.

Tom sleeps on a bedroll on the ground in an enclosure of wood and plastic the size of a hospital elevator. It's bone-dry inside, even on a rainy morning, and the plastic walls and ceiling are black with soot. A candle burns in the corner, giving off just enough light to make out the room's COI1-

WHERE'S THE BEEF;» OH .... FOUND IT!

Sig n up by JUlY 15.2010 and receive a 50% DISCOUNT on your en rollment fee.

50 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

tents. At one end sits the stove, which keeps the camp's inhabitants warm through the winter. Next to the stove is a Thermos that Tom usually keeps filled with camp coffee, and a Coleman propane burner for cooking. A baseball bat sits near the entryway; Tom has heard about the skinheads too, and he isn't taking any chances. The camp sleeps three to four people comfortably. Anyone is welcome, so long as they're willing to take on their share of chores. "Anybody that needs help, I try to help,"he says.

Four days a week, Tom picks up litter and takes out the garbage for a Sunoco sta ~ tion. They pay him $10, which he uses to buy food and supplies. Church groups stop by with gifts sometimes. Tom goes to the FreeStore once a month. And the holidays are always good for canned goods. "We survivejhe says. "We work together. N 0- body charges nobody nothing. Everybody pitches in."

All the same, Tom has lived outside for years now, and he's getting tired of scrap-

ing by. "I don't want to plan to be out here next winter," he says. Reynolds helped enroll Tom in GCBHS 's Path to Recovery program, a new effort to help homeless alcoholics get housing. When housing becomes available, Tom will be assigned a caseworker and w:ill move into a place of his own. When Reynolds and Holley leave, Ron, another veteran living in the camp, calls out, "If we'd known you was coming, we'd have had the cake and coffee ready!"

WALKING BACK TO his car, Reynolds re~ calls a lesson he learned as a cop. "I used to tell rookies that you can't walk into a house thinking 'I'm the big bad cop and you're going to do what I tell you to do,' because it doesn't work that way," he says. "That's how I feel about this job. I'm actually going into thei r homes, even though it is a homeless camp. If I go in there and tell them to do this and that, they'll tell me 'Wha t are you talking about? Get lost!' "

Independent of PATH's new program,

the Department of Veterans Affairs recently announced a five-year plan to end homeless ness among veterans. Reynolds appreciates the commitment, but he ex~ pects there will still be homeless veterans for many years to come. Most of the clients he works with are from the Vietnam era, he explains. They didn't become homeless directly upon their return from Vietnam. Many ended up on the streets years later as a result of accum ulated problems-failed marriages, lost jobs, substance abuse, untreated mental illness, and the pernicious legacy ofPTSD. Reynolds anticipates a new wave of PTSD -afflicted veterans ofIraq and Afghanistan wiU hit the streets over the course of the next 20 years. "I think it'sgoing to be another cycle," he predicts.

For now, Reynolds is taking his job day by day, one individ ual at a time. "Being a cop, I started off thinking that I cou ld change the world,"he says. "You can't change the world. But with this job, I can at least see one person change." 1!l

RedGold Hearty Chili

1 pound lean ground beef 1 large onion, chopped

1 green bell pepper, "hopped

Salt & black pepper to taste 2 tablespoons chili powder tteaspcon cocoa

1 (150:;:) can chili hot beans

1 (14.5az) can RED GOLD 01 CED TOMATOES CHIU READY wilh ONrON S

1 (l4.SoZ) (an RED GOLD PETITE DICED TOMATOE.S with GREEN CHILIES

1 (14.502) can RED GOLD rEnTE DICED TOMATOES 1 (15a~) can RED GOLD· CRUSHED TOMATOES

• Brown ground beef, onlon .• and green bell pepper ina large skillet. Transfer to colander and rinse with hot water to remove fat. Transfer meat mixture to large kettle and add salt pepper; chili powder, and coooa; mix well.

.. Add chili hot beans, RED

....;..;;;:=::.;_~~illi;;i' GOLD DICED CHILI READY with ONIONS, RED GOLD" PETITE DICED TOMATOES with GREEN CHILIES, RED GOLD PETITE OIC£D TOMATOES, and REO GOLD CRUSHED TOMATOES. ,Bring to a boil; reduce heat [0

sl min er a nd co ok for 20 to 2S mlnutes,

JULY 2010 I CINCINNATI 151 •••

JULY 20l() I CINCINN'ATI I 53

rtHO MAKES THE BEST .BURGER IN THE. CITY?

It's a perennial question, sometimes a contentious one; a question we're frequently asked, and one "'Ie were willing to research. Naturally when you're debating great burgers, a lot must go into censlderatton=quattty of meat, seasoning, cooking methods, buns, toppings, ambiance, value~to determine that answer. So we devised a rating sy tem, created a master list of burger joints, and doing our twh-fisted duty, hit the road. We pulled up stools at diner counters, slid into upholstered chairs in luxurious dining rooms, put our elbows on the bar at several taverns, used good silver and linen, ate from paper plates, and on several occasions, stood In marvelous, beefy ecstasy while burger juice dripped onto our.shoes We ate them plain, we ate tbem posh, and sometimes we ate more than we should. I n the end, we found 40 burgers to assign to our hamburger heaven, several hellishly good sides, and a half-dozen veggie burgers we'd be willing to get carnal over. But before you read on, prepare to be as surprised as we were at how the results stacked up. The number one burger? It's

L:0bablY not who you think. -DONNA COVRHT

The World's Best Burger WILDFLOW.E.R CAFE $10

_ This perfect architectural specimen of excep ~ tionally thick and juicy grass-fed beef (from 100- percent pasture-raised cows) is seasoned and cooked with steakhouse skill and tucked into a glossy toasted pretzel bun that's neither too dense nor too soft and handles the meat juices without disintegrating. No tomatoes were harmed before their time-the cozy cafe follows the seasonal in ~ tentions of chef/owner Todd Hudson. It came with oily sun dried tomatoes, crackling strips of double smoked bacon, perfectly melted provolone, and a smear of mayonnaise spiked with herbs from Wildflower's garden. Holy cow! I 207 E. Main St., Mason, (513) 492-7514

54 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010

.J

2

Big Ted Deluxe

CITY VIEW TAVERN $6.75

_ The Big Ted Deluxe takes about 20 minutes from flattop to table, so just kick back and wait. We promise it's worth it. Because inside that plastic basket, next to a bag of chips (Grippo's BBQ, please), sits a most worthy treat: a hand-formed six- ounce patty, direct from Ebert's Meat Market, so pleasantly seasoned that a pep~ pery sensation lingers on your tongue. Paired with spicy brown mustard, mayo, ketchup, American cheese, onion, chopped iceberg, and tart pickles, it's a drippy, smooth, tangy, savory masterpiece served on a light and fluffy Giminetti bun. I 403 Oregon St., Mt. Adams, (513) 241-8439

8

Burger with Burgundy Wine, Wild Mushroom & Truffle Sauce

TERRY'S TURF CLUB

$10

.. Think of Terry's as a "high dive"neon kitsch on the walls, peanuts on the floor, grease from the griddle in the air, and a bow-tied maitre d' to seat the madding crowd. Here the thick, free-form patty on its toasted bun (so unwieldy they bring a knife to the table so you can cut it) starts at $7.50 and comes with a choice of lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion, banana peppers, and American or Swiss. Beyond that, swanky accoutrements (foie gras, even) bump up the tab. The burgundy wine reduction with mushrooms and truffles soaks into the meat in a way that's truly edifying. It almost makes you forget the long, long wait. A bottle from their well-stocked Bevadors helps that, too. 14618 Eastern Ave., Linwood, (5J3) 533-4222

The Secret Recipe

...... It's been no le5'; than burger bedlam since Tetry's Turf Club opened its nron-lit doors in 200Z Owner Terry Carter-expert fly fisherman. blowgun craftsman, and burger king-shares his secret.

TERRY'S TURF CLUB BURGER YIELD: eight half-pound burgers

INGREDIENTS:

4 POUNDS ground Angu> [huck (a mixture of a 1 percent b!'i'l to 19 percent fat)

\" TEASPOON, OF EACH OFTKE FOLLOWING: smoked paprika: UlyennE pepper: ground [umi n: ground anise sesd; turment; onion [J!Jwd~r: go ~i( powder: ground dark rhorolate

Sea >alt and pepper

6 kal'ler buns from Shadeau Ba kery 3 TABLESPOONS each olIVe all and melted unse I ted butter

TE·RRY'S TIPS,

1. Carter prefers Himalayan or Hawaiian se It 'Nev~r use regulilr table lalt. The iodin~ Imparts a bitterfiaVIJf.-

2. For the ground chocolate, use a good da rk Belgia n with a t least 60 percent cacao,

3 ., Be an adventu rer" and eKperi· men t with the see soni ng mix.

4. He prefers a ga s grill because 'it cooks hotter and more EVenly:·

- f-leat gas grill to 400- 425 dl'8rees. Hand loon eigll! pattiss,

'h. pound each. M iK spices and ground dark chocolate together. Salt and pepper bot h sides of burg-

ers. Sp~nk Ie a pinch cd seasoni ng mixture OVI'r eerh side of patty.

then grill to preferred temperature. Blend otive oil and mel ted butter toget her. Lightly brush the underside of each bun with mixture and grill until toasted.

5. Never poke the bu rger with a fork. or ! he mea! luicEs wrrl end UP In t he grill or on your pia te ins tead of in the burger.

6. Flip only on [~ Flipping bat k and forth dries it out.

7. Carte(s faVlJrite lopplngs: grilled on ions and Jerlsberg Swiss.

~.

_...__

- - - -

C lo,' ... ,i.<{· rrom lOp /cft: Nco" liglll' up Tetrv's Turf Club: where lite mO,l!ic happens; Terry's piece de resistance:

manningrhegri1l.

JULY 2010 I CINCINNATI I SS

KrYSloncBar& Ctil/',CoTlzo Burgtr. lOPP('d wit11 arlicllOkrs . sun drir-d rometocs, and Gor-

gonzola cncese.

56 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010

4

The Gas Light Burger GAS LIGHT CAFE $5.75

_ The half-pound Gas Light Burger has a hand-shaped. drip -down-your- chin, chargrilled patty that's tucked in a cornmeal-dusted hun and delivered Happy Days+style in a red plastic basket. tasting for all the world like Dad's best backyard patio handiwork on a SUl1U11er afternoon. You won't find fancy-schmancy toppings here, but this is a good, good, good burger. ! 6104 MOil rgomery Rd., Pleasant Ridge, (51]) 631-6977

VZ Classic

VANZANDT RESTAURANT AND TAVERN

$]0

_ Once known as Budna Grill, VanZandt has quickly garnered a reputation for some solid pub grub and familiar comforts. Chef/owner Chris Hoeweler-a former chef at Trio and a College Hill native-builds burgers with well-seasoned beef procured from neighboring Humbert's Meats, imparts a good charbroiled flavor, and serves them on a sturdy herbed bun or onion -flecked foccacia, One ! of four designer options, the I VZ Classic comes draped in American cheese and grilled I onions with bacon, lettuce, and tomato. ! 1810 W Galbraith Rd., Col1ege Hill, (513) 407-6418

6

Beef Hamburger VIRGILS CAFE $10

_ Virgils feels too fancy to qualify as a burger joint. Clean and crisp black linen tablecloths covered with

butcher paper and overly polite waiters just don't scream out "Burger time!" But don't let that fool you: the modestly named "beef hamburger"grilled, succulent beef topped with sauteed mushrooms and caramelized onions on a multigrain kaiser roll-equals hamburger heaven. And do not miss out on their sweet potato fries with a side of ancho-rnayo. /710 Fairfield Ave., Bellevue, (859) 491-3:287

7

Tile Soul Burger

OAKLEY PUB & GRILL $6.95

_ Trying to tease out the secrets of the Soul Burger is not easy; they hold their cards pretty close to the chest at Oakley Pub & Grill. But this much is certain: As burgers go, it's a sou 1- stirrer, starting with the arcane mixture of jerk spices (cinnamon. cumin, maybe even some allspice) sprinkled on the meat while it's cooking, which gives the patty a sweet-spicy kick. That's the foundation, on top of which they pile bacon (baked in the oven for crispness), a luscious heap of onions (grilled fresh each morning on the flat-top), melted American cheese, and super-fresh pickles. It could have been a mess. It wasn't. It was, in fact, deeply satisfying.! 3924 Isabella Ave., Oakley, (513) 531-2500

8

The 7 Minute Burger PAULA'S GOURMET CAFE $6·95

_ A sign in the window of Paula's Gourmet Cafe says that the lunch hotspot has "downtown's biggest and best burger." The 7 Minute Burger just might live up to that claim. Made ofhand-patted ground chuck, it's grilled

THE GAME PLAN

Rating the best burgers in town seems like a daunting task. Luckily, our staff was up to the challenge. Led by Dining Editor Donna Covrett, who whipped up a list of more than 50 possibilities, our editorial staff fanned out across the city, armed with score sheets designed by Art Director Grace E, Saunders. On those sheets were the components we would evaluate (determined by Covrett after much thought and discussion): the meat, the bun, the toppings, the execution and presentation, the value, and the ambience. The perfect score? Sixty points. Only 40 spots were deemed good enough to make our list.

THE DETAILS: With so many places andsomany tssters, keeping track of who went where when-plus all the addresses.

SCORING: Beceuse the meat and the bun a.re so crudal toagreat burger, those ftemsaccounted "' forjustoverhaJ/thepossible :

prices. and phone numbers-was points.

~;:~;;::rbYhavinga//the ""\ . ADDINGITup,Covretttabulat. \

\i ed all thescores to come up with ; EVALUATING: To he/p the tasters f· the ranklngs you see on these ~ assign points, CUI/felt inc/uded ! . pages. The notes also helped her ,~ lists of questions to consider with r constructthe "Franken-bu.rger" r

every scored Item. / shown onpage 65. .

OTHERSTVFF: There's more to the experience than justa burger, so Saunders left space for tasters to teke notes. Plus. we knew we wanted to Inclu.de a list Of great SIdes with the burgers, so tasters were told to tooktortne interesting. unusuat andjustplaingreat.

to juicy perfection and placed ; on a wheat bun from Shadeau i Bakery. Top with grilled bal- ! sarnic-Iaced onions or sauteed mushrooms, and you can see I why the concept of understat - ! ing on their reach and over- ; delivering on taste works. 141 E. 4th St., clonmtown, (513) 381-3354

9

Keystone Burgel' KEYSTONE BAR & GRIL.L $7·99

• You know Keystone is doing something right when

they get rid of their onion I rings-e which were delicious-> I because they want to serve ! only house-made fare and the rings weren't. But they're I

rea 1.1. y. dOin. g something. rig.h.t I when they can make a burg-

er like this-a half-pound \ of quality beef served with ! fresh tomato, lettuce, and red onion on a chewy and toast- I ed sesame seed bun. 131J I Greenup St., Covington, (859) I 261-6777 I

10

Senate Burger SENATE

$12

• We love this brawny, cheddar-and-caramel- i ized -onion slathered burger, ! hand-formed from Angus I ground beef and charred : over a wood -fired grill. Be- ; neath the umbered dome of bun made by Giminetti Bakery, the sweet and smoky patty plays nice with slices

11

The Black A ngus Burger DAVEE D'S

$16

.Visit on Thursdays-burger night-and get a plate full of goodness, from the housemade smoky-sweet tomato-

Ionian jam to the house- ground Angus tenderloi.n. Don't pass up the buttery-crisp-outside, creamy-and -fluffy-inside truffle Parmigiano fries and their tangy, lemony (also homemade) mayonnaise-an

indecently good side (think the deli scene in When Harry Met Sally).1934 Haidi St., Mt. Adams, (513) 721-2665

12

ell ee seb II rger

SLEEPY HOLLOW INN $7.95

• Every day is a holiday at this roadside tavern. Burgerwise, they've got plenty of reason to celebrate: a moist half-pound of meat with delicate seasoning and distinct charbroiled flavor is topped with lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion, and a toasted-but-soft sesame seed bun, With a more flavorful tomato, it's got the potential to make Sleepy HolIowa legend. I 378 Bridge St., Loveland, (513) 677-0290

18

Anglls Beef Btl rger G.ABBV'S CAFE $8.49

• Wyoming is known for good schools, good housing

of Roma tomatoes, crisp let-· stock, and now, good burgers. tuce, and house-made pickles. Gabby's Angus beef burger is It arrives speared with one : a smoky half-pounder made adorable gherkin (also house- 1 sweeter with a buttery bun made), and in the company of , that's neither too soft nor too truffled and thyme-flecked ; hard. Savor the fresh pickles,

fries ($5) .. We nominate it

lettuce, and tomato on this

for Senate's majority leader. I ! tender monument to meat. 1.21.2 Vine St., Over-tile-Rhine, ! 1515 \I\.'.yoming Ave., Wyoming,

(51J) 421-2020 ! (513) 821-6040

58 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010

SUPERIO'RSIDES

Six go-withs worthy of star status.

PoraroSa/ad. Wildflower Cafe

Never the same way twice, and always picnic perfect, Chef Todd Hudson changes up this creamy mayonnaise-based potato salad according to what's on hand.

Seasoned FrIes. Ollie's Trolley

Fennel, crushed red pepper, paprika ... coriander? Half the fun of Ollie's fantastic fries is figuring out the "secret" seasoning, the other half is inhaling them.

DlldcF.rFr'es, Chalk Food + Wine

The Holy Grail of fried potatoes, chef Mark Bodenstein's are crisp sticks of fully-flavored, smoky- and - s ea - salty righ teou sness,

'I'rllllleFr'es, Senate

You may come for Senate's burger or hot dogs, but you'll stay for the chubby batons of truffle-laced fries freckled with thyme.

sweerpor.roFrles. Virgils

They're the familiar bagged and frozen variety appearing all over town, but Chef Matt Buschle gives them an added kick with salt and white pepper, and aneho chili mayo for dipping.

On'onR',,"s, Zip's Cafe

We'll say it again: Beer batter + rings of sweet white onion + fresh hot oil = the perfect partner for a burger and beer. -D.C.

14

Green Acres Burger LAVOMATIC $11.49

_ The mantra at Lavomatic is "keep it 10ca1," and Chef Brad Bernstein's Green Acres burger does. The half-pound of beef (grass-fed, organic) comes from Greenacres Farm. The bacon is from Eckerlirr's Meats. The bun (fresh, slightly sweet, and built to last) is baked in the Relish Group's commissary. Even the ample schmear of Boursin is made in - I house. It all combines to make I a lean, thick, juicy f.east. /12.11 I Vine si, Over-the-Rhine, (513) 621-1999

Iii

The Barnsdall"

THE ROOKWOOD $12

_ You will definitely get your hands dirty when you tackle this one-it even outlasts its own bun. Pickles enhance the meat's tangy flavor, and the gooey fontina cheese, sweet

low flavor from a mound of sauteed garlic served atop a fresh, hand-formed patty. The cornmeal-dusted kaiser roll it's served on stands up nicely to the demands of the burger's juices. And when we tasted this in April, the tomato was pretty good -not homegrown, but not plastic, either. / 985 Congress Ave., Glendale, (513) 771-7427

17

Boursin Cheeseburger ARTHUR'S CAFE $9

_ If heaven has a burger joint, it'll feel like Arthur's patio-friendly and inviting. Fries come with the lean, grilled-to-order eight-ounce patty for $7.50; for a bit more, you can trick it out with a special cheese, such as an a la mode scoop of garlicky Boursin. On our visit, the mildlyseasoned meat didn't hold its own against the cheese, and the plump bun-high on top, thin on the bottom-s-lest its grip, But we're guessing that'll

caramelized onions, and be different in heaven, /3516 thyme aioli make this a burger I Edwards Rd., Hyde Park, (513)

worth dreaming about. Try it with the Grippo fries, sea- i soned with the chipmaker's j salty-sweet barbecue coating. ' /10.· 77 Ce1es. tial si., Mt. Adams, II (513) 42.1-5555

16

18

Federal Hill

ANDERSON TOWNSHIP PUB

$7.95

Ga die B urger FRIENDLY STOP $5.50

_ You can still sense 1982 lurking in the neon and brick decor, but the service here , is plenty up to date. Named _ This burger gets its mel-! for Anderson Township

subdivisions, the lean, juicy, chargrilled burgers come on Servatii buns with a variety of toppings, including horseradish cheese. For a side, stick with the pub fries-they're freshly cut and delicious. /6694 Clough Pike, Anderson Ttvp., (513) 23J-0601

The Ascent oflbe Slider

..... Since Its birth nE!drly gO Yl'drs ago. th~ Slid~r-thejunlor-Junior-511.E!d burger first de veloped by White Cast te-nos been everything to everyone. going from ta,f food to upscale amuse bouche. But true fans know that-tole gras andhoity-toity French Chefs be damn~d-thI5 cheap sat 15 firmly rooted in ground beef and the Midwest. A short history ot this big little burger. -Ian Aldrich

60 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010

19

Wheels B llrger

CAFE DE. WHEELS $5

_ Cincinnati's first mobile burger truck delivers a hot and juicy burger on a soft Servatii kaiser bun, enrobed in perfectly melted cheese, sweet and piquant balsamic onion marmalade, and spicy mayo. It's one of the best things to happen to wheels since rubber. / To find tile Cafe on any given day, go to lVtvtv.cafedetvheels .. eom or call (513) 549-5246.

I

120

II The OIIi~ Burger OLLIE'S TROLLEY .$3.95

I

_Don't say we didn't warn you: The Ollie Burger is slop-

py. The special Ollie sauce ~a mayonaise- based concoction more runny and tangy than the "special sauce" you'd find on a Big Mac-s-will, given half a chance, drip down the chin and onto one's lap. But we predict you'll put up with it. Seasoned with a dry rub and a mixture of Parmesan cheese, paprika, garlic, and

Billy Ingram founds White Castlein Wichita, Kansas. i n trod U cing

i a tiny. flat beef patty steam ed and se rved with onions on a bunto the wo rid. It is quickly

_-""",~, , dubbed "The Slider."

Lines forrneartv onJune3ata WhiteC:a~tle

in St. Louis for

a flve- burge rsfor-la-cents spsctal.And 10. the sack is born.

White Castle relocates its corporate

h eadq uarte rs to Columbus. Ohio ..

White Castle patents theMeatHmn,a machine designed specifically for pok-

I ng those five holes Into long rolls of sliderbeel.

Genius! Cinclnnatlan Earl Howell discovers how 10 speed UP th e coo~i ng of ground beef by punching

live small holes into the patties.

Eat it, R",y ·Kroc! White Castle sells its billionth sandwich.

onion powder, the Ollie Burger tastes like home. /1601 W Central Ave., West End, (513) 381-6lO0

21

Tile Bawe Burger BOOTSY'S

$J5

_ Add breakfast to a slider and wave the Ruby magic wand over it, and you get the Bawe (pronounced bow-wee and named after General Manager Bawe Shinholster) Burger. Cheddar cheese, steamed onions, hand-sliced maple bacon, and a poached egg top the highly seasoned beef patty stacked between a soft but substantial bun. It's rich, robust, and so Jeff Ruby. / 631 Walnut St., downtown, (513) 241-0707

22

The Godzilla Bllrger HABITS CAFE $8.25

_ Habits has all the hallmarks of a fine pub, so it makes sense that it's also got a helluva good burger. The Godzilla Burger sneaks up on you because it lacks the standard red-green visuals. The smoky, zingy jalapeno mayo, pepper-jack cheese, and pile of spicy onion straws (the epitome of delicately fried excellence) are, admittedly, different. (In a word: beige.) And yes, we could have used a srnidge more urn ami. But that's why God invented ketchup. /3036 Madison Rd., Oakley, (513) 631-8367

~ -...:.L:..I.!.I

Slidersrnake th ei r first appearancein seperrna rket freezers.

JULY 20101 CINCINNATI 1 61

THE GREAT DEBATE

What's the difference between corn-fed and grass-fed?

Recent studies show that beef from cattle raised in feedlots on a corn and grain diet (primarily soybean meal) may be a problem for our health, the environment, and the animals themselves, Our two cents? We've eaten some memorable corn-fattened beef, but the mounting evidence of health and environmental risks have influenced the way we purchase meat, And honestly, some of the best flavored meat we found in our burger quest turned out to be from pasture-raised beef cattle, So do your taste buds (and your waistline) a favor and seek out some prime grass-fed meat, ~D,C,

Grass·Ped

Corn·Ped

How/o/ell: I

Rich, mom varied flavor; ,hewle1'lexture

Well·marbled, tend er meat

Four times the "mount of vitamins A and. E,:, more than twice the amount ot omega - 3 fatty acids

o nd (lAs l a healthy fat thought to be a cancer inhibitor),

Controlled envlmnment ma~"s tor a more consistent productand In a (OU ntl'\' that corsumes mllilo ns of pou nds of burgers a

yea r.con slsten,v i, key,

Why?

Higher in total fat and talones

Genetically modified grains, protein supplements, antibiotics, and growth hormones fatten wws Qultkly, whl,h boosts productivity and lowers costs, .. but ,ould result'

In health Issues for meat eate rs down the road.

Moredifli,ult to control cows' diets and takes" longer time for them to fatten.

Problems:

Low"rin fat and calories by as much as one-third, With rmltrolled grazi'ng, native

perennial grasses get propagat~d, Invasive weeds, are con trolled, and the land ,Is fertilized·.

f"~ter production equals a higher profit margin for the feedlot, ~ nd ch eaper meat fm the consumer.

Is jtgood lot the.cows'?

[ows get me '1" exercise, whi~h In tu rn rrea res leaner beef. Wh kh is gond for humans. too,

(an cause "feedlot bloat" or 5ubatute acidosis (essentially, bad gas and heartburn): lett untreated, elth er could cause death,

Bac'k off copycats'! White Castle finally embraces th e 73·yeaJold nickna me for its

bu rgers (well, sort of) by Irade marking the word "Slydet,'Theweird spelll ng d ossn't take,

Satls fyi ng that innate des i re a II A me ncans have to eat fast food and give their ca r that clean, Ires h smell at the same time, White Castle hands out free ai r lresh eners with each sack of Sli ders,

Th e llttle sandwi ch finds the big dlywhen Sassy's Sliders ope ns its do 0 rs on, the Uppe,r East Side of Ma nhattan. "8etter tha n 80tox,'" one 10 od critic opines.

62 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010

1m!!)

Eat It, 8ig Mac, The Slid er goe,sHollywood wah the re lease of Harold and KumarGo to White Castle. Total gross: $18 million. orroughly3.6 million

sac ks 01 511 ders.

Unl,ver5e, meetthe Crave Crate. size: lOOSUders.

Clock",;,. (mOl 1.(1:

Cit'L-' Vi~w TalfCrn; di~rng in; rile Big Ted Dt"uxe ana a

Bloody Mary; reody forddi,",y

_ Zip's burgers are misshapen and lumpy and ours came with way too much white onion. But thanks to the meat magicians at Avril-Bleh & Sons, the local butcher shop that delivers daily, Zip's burgers are entirely fresh and undeniably delicious. Same goes I for the Klosterman Baking I 26 Company bun they sit on, too. I Plus, the electric chao-chao I

,

train that circles the room will !

i

i_On the very short list

I of "chains that don't taste I chain-y,' Five Guys ranks I pretty high. Cooked to order, I the regular hamburgers here

i

I

i I

I, meaty-juicy goodness. We

- It's meat overload, but the took the no frills route (let-

I

I

I lean, somewhat dry beef, as do I venturous, try their fine alter-

the mushrooms, onion, and I nate toppings: jalapenos, green Amer.ican cheese. The toast- i peppers, grilled onions, grilled ed kaiser bun stands up to all I mushrooms, and even A-I that admirably. Try the Asian i sauce. And they don't skimp slaw-it's like potluck ramen I on their fresh-cut fries, which salad. Wednesday at Zola is I is always appreciated. / Five Burger Mania and burgers are l

,

just $6. / 626 Main St., Cov- I ington, (859) 261-7510 ,

127

I 10 0% Natural Beef Burger

i MARl BELLE'S TAVERN I $10

I

$1l.75 i-A word of well-meaning

_ Nearly militant in his call i if persnickety advice: A $10 for all things seasonal and 10- I burger deserves better com-

28

Zip's Burger witl] Cheese ZIP'S CAFE

$5

transfix your z-year-old while you wait. /1036 Delta Ave., Mt. Lookout, (S13) 871~9876

24

Zola Burger

ZOLA PUB & GRILL $7.25

ham and bacon crowning this patty lend fat and flavor to the

215

Tile Bison Bl!rger

CHALK FOOD + WINE

cal, Chef Mark Bodenstein's burger is what you might expect; Ground Kentucky bison accessorized with white cheddar, purple onion, and super fresh arugula between thin slices of buttered and toasted house baked bread.

And speaking of militant, we will fight you for the last of

the compulsively edible duck

fat fries. / 318 Greenup St., Covington, (859) 643-1234

Hamburger FIVE GUYS ;$4.49

come with two patties of fresh ground beef bursting with

tuce, tomato, pickles, mustard, ketchup); if you're feeling ad-

area locations; lVtvw./iveguys. com for info

m!m

David Falk births a

sl id~r at Boca: Gro u nd filet rmgncn.jalapeno peste, sauteedomons, and onecarefully guarded secret Ingred I· ent.OK. ii's Velveeta. SOITY foodie.s!

m!m

Theydon't call 'em slid ers but l'A tel i er de Joel Rob uch on at th e 1'0 u r Seasons Hotel In NewYorkClty puts a minlbeef andfole gres burgs r on its menu. P,ice: $35 for two.

~

White

Castle sells 560.053,3n Sliders in one year.

Kobayashi who? Competitive eating champion "Notorious"8.0.6.Shoudt setsa world record by eatI ng 37.5 sl i de rs at th e Roy Rogers World Roast Beef Slide, EatingChamplonship .. Time: 8 rnlnutes.

To celebrate National Hamburger Month

in. May, White Castle starts selling sucerscented ca n dies. (Gas masks not I n clud ed.) By May 7 th ey we re so Id out 01 alllO,OOO. Really.

JULY 2010 I CINCINNATI I 63

I The Quarter Bllrger

II QUARTER BISTRO

I : This burger demands your

full attention. The moist, fresh meat comes on a chewy, I

1 slightly nutty bun, surround-

I ed by thin, crispy fries. It's , a handful. We only wish OLLr I server paid us as much atten- "Wanna know the secret:" I

Kent Hugentobler, the propri- I etor, cook, "main dishwasher I

J Mariemont, (513) 271-5400 and everything else" at Doris 1

:~~~~tn:~:sa~~::~:~~l~~~ I 81

I

I.

a better word." Well said, Mr. I

i I

pany than kettle cooked chips (or coleslaw, or a little boat full of cottage cheese). However, at Maribelle's you do get hormone-free beef, grilled to order, on a fantastically nutty, slightly sweet bun from Giminetti, and a selection of toppings that include goat cheese

and guacamole. Don't miss the housemade pickles, served

on the side .. !2062 Riverside Dr., East End, (513) 861- 2484

28

QllQrter Pound Burger

with Cheese Deluxe

DORIS AND SONNY'S HOMEI..IKE RESTAURANT $4.25

you put condiments on it, it doesn't soggy out, for lack of

Hugentobler. Anyone in the mood for a pleasingly sloppy,

salty, crunchy, juicy, handpatted, griddle-fried burger with perfectly melted American cheese and all the classic toppings-well, get thee to Miamitown. But take note; the Homelike is only open for breakfast and lunch. / 6856 State Route 128, Miamitown, (513) 353-9828

29

Black & Blell Boy Burger HAMBURGER MARY'S BAR & GRILLE

$10

_ We chose the extravagantly egg-y brioche bun to pair with the Black & Bleu 1 Boy Burger, a flamboyant of- I fering of epic (half-pound) I proportions that comes with I fries. Soft and sweet, the bun was a nice counterpoint to the 1

1 crusty blackened exterior and I

the tang of bleu cheese crum- I

64 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010

bles scattered on top. But our "medium rare" arrived virtually mooing, and topped with bacon that seemed to have been cooling its heels in the kitchen for some time. VV11ere's Mary when you need her? /909 Vine St., downtown, (513) 421-6279

80

tion to us as we paid to our dinner. /6904 Wooster Pike,

Cheeseburger QUATMAN CAFE $4·50

_ Even on a Friday in Lent, the crowd in this local legend

is all about the beef-that is, the cheeseburger, which arrived as plain as a parish priest: open-faced, unadorned except for pickle slices and a disk of onion. The medium-thick patty needs salt to bring out the meaty flavor. Most diners round out the meal with a side of crisp shoestring fries. Nobody's giving them up for Lent, either. / 2434 Quatman Ave., Nonvood, (513) 731-4370

82

Black & Blel! Burger SKINNY LEGS PUB & GRII..L $6·95

_The Cajun spices added to the Angus beef give this burger a spicy crust, cut by a generous dollop of bleu cheese dressing. Unfortunately, our bun was overtoasted, rendering it almost stale, but our sassy

waitress more than made up for it./519 Fuirfield Ave., Bellevue, (859) 261-5111

88

Summy's Burger SAMMY'S GOURMET BURGERS & BEERS $8.95

_ Do not fear the fried egg atop this signature sandwich, It comes with bacon, too. And mozzarella cheese. And "Sammy Sauce" (ketchup mixed with mayo). With a foundation of Angus beef, it's a delicious hot mess of a burger, one that no bun in the world could stand up to, though this honey kaiser tries. Ask for more napkins and canyon. 14767 Creek Rd., Blue Ash, (513) 745-9484

84

The Burger MAYBERRY $8

_ A Lilliputian seven -table cafe serving a behemoth 12 ounces of seasoned Angus beef in baroque dress-pepper bacon, onion marmalade, and a poached egg barely enclosed by a buttered brioche bun-but with the soul (and texture) of your grandmother's meatloaf. So much so, we broke from our mayonnaise preference and anointed it with ketchup. / 915 Vine St., d01l!l1tollm, (513) 381-5999

85

Gordo's Burger GORDO'S PUB AND GRILL

$8

_ This modest pub serves an immodestly sized, bulbous burger stacked with roasted poblano chilies, sauteed mushrooms, onions, smoked bacon, garlicky Boursin cheese, and mayonnaise. It's a good burger that would have been a great burger had

THE FRANKEN ..

BUR.GER?

_,.. As our in tn=pid If'porters ga thered and deconstructed their close encounter.; of the burgi'!r kind, we could S!'I' d rea I whopper teking shape. It's a big mac daddy so you might need an extra set of hands. OK, enough puns. But definitely bring lots of napkins. ~O.t.

Pretzel bu n, WI [dflowe r CaM It 's th~ only bun (Wt of 50 that hiJd IJ5 pulling out our iPhone and lookingfor places to buy 11 (We Imow where!)

Redonlonandtomatolam, Green Dog Cafe 5weet ...

Jalapeno mayo,Habit'sCah! ... and sub tie heat.

Crisp lceberg,GasUghtCaM Greens wl'th crunch.

Arugula, Chalk Food + Wine Greens with punch.

Fried Egg, ~ [a The Black Shee p 011 top of WCOI1? Breakfast burger!

Maple bacon, Lavomati c and Bootsy's Sweet, smoke. sa It, and snap.

Slice ohed,ripl'tomato from your 10 cal farm ers' market Ifwehavetoexp/din this one, you're 110t getting a bite.

Grilled onions, Oakley Pub & Grill Char. lang. and slirk.

SpIcy onion straws, Habit's Cafe They make O/Jr boss hiJppy We like our boss happy

H uusa-curadpickles, Maribelle'sTavem TIlerigM amount orbile and crunch.

Whltecheddar,Chalk Food + Wine Rlchandrobustwithout being too sharp or dl}'

ao ursIn, tavomane Cafil Garlic. herbs. andoOle.

H ou~·ground an Ii seasoned Angus tenderlo in, Daveed 's Hello 7 Filet Mignon'

Borgu ody wine sa uce With wild mush mom 5 and truffle, Terry's TU rf Cly b

Because we thil1k it should be c/dssified as dn aphrodi,lac.

HerbmaYOnn;lise, Will;!· flower e;lfo! Both volupttJOUS and demure. like Christina Hendricks on Mad Men.

Clo("kwisL' ffoOm bPlow:

Tilt, Gudz;i{ja Burgt'f fro rn HaD its; Cloer

Todd Hud_'on of Wild· {lower _~hoLL':'i: hu\.~ 't~s doue: ilis. Wildflower b urger..: OJ] d b is: bold

(but maybe true) dorm_

6& I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010

the medium rare we ordered not been served well done. I 4328 Montgomery Rd., Norwood, (513) 351-1999

86

The Route 50 Burger BY GOLLY'S

$7.50

_ At By Golly's, the juicy patry-s-hand-formed and somewhat fatty, but with a great texture+-came on a toasted bun, with wonderfully melted American cheese. The bonus: you won't feel like you've eaten half a cow (unless you pick one of their new, over-the-top burgers). They have hand-cut French fries, but do yourself a favor and try the crunchy waffle fries. 1714 Lila Ave., Milford, (513) 248-4444

87

Fatburger with C/leese F.ATBURGER

$).89

_ OK, all right, we know: It's a chain. But dig: the burgers are cooked to order, the meat is never frozen, and they'll even chargrill it if you want (just ask). Plus, these thirdpound bundles of meaty joy come swaddled in a little paper napkin (so tidyl) with a bevy of toppings to choose from, including the snappiest pickle relish we've had in a long time. And they are duly proud of their house-made onion rings. Face it: If you want it fast, Fatburger puts the usual suspects to shame. I 3158 Madison Rd., Oakley, (513) 871-8722

88

Bah Bah Black Sheep THE BLACK SHEEP $6.99

• A bar retrofitted in 1960sstyle stools, '70S paneling, '80S green tile, and 'oos

slate, with chandeliers and drapes-e-we absolutely love the west side's charm. So who else would you expect to put go etta on their burger? And then bacon and a fried egg? Yep, the Black Sheep, that's who. I 3807 North Bend Rd., Cheviot, (513) 481-6Joo

89

Everyday Angus

BLACK ANGUS .BURGER AND BREWS

$7.99

_ Take one cavernous cinderblock building in an industrial park, add a long glass-block bar lined with weathered, leathered bikers, 10 televisions showing the same ballgame with a backing soundtrack of an entire Coldplay album, and a good beefy burger cooked to order and crowned with melted cheese, red onion, lettuce, and tomato under a sturdy toasted kaiser bun, and you've got the oddest clash of cultures on our entire burger journey. 110575 Chester Rd., Woodlawn, (513) 772-1500

40

Black & Blel.! Burger 915 PUB & GRILL $6·75

c_ The menu here is remi-

niscent of the ones at Skinny Legs and Zola (the three restaurants share an owner), so you can count on a large Angus patty served on a toasted kaiser bun, the Cajun spice, and the dollop of blue cheese, as well as the Asian slaw and the Burger Madness deals. Just make sure you order your burger medium well, or you might get a pink surprise. I 915 N. Ft. Thomas Ave., Ft. Thomas (859) 441-1333 @

WHERE'S THE BEEF?

Six super veggie burgers.

lIrt" dr's Cal'

Sitting outslds on this n~ighborhDod bar and grill's bark patln, it's hard to find rnu ch fault in the world. So what if th e sp icy 'b lack bea nb urger tastes a tad orocssse d? The wh ile bun Is st u rd y and s U rp ri sin gly f1avorfu I and thep Ink salsa-salsa mixed' with sour cream and mayo-is a nic~ complement to the fiery burger. /3516 Edwards Rd .. Hyde ParK, (513) 871-5543

Gree .. Do. Cal'

A place li ke th is (orga n i c. sus tai nabte, envi ro n mentally co nsclous) h as to have a good v@ggi@ burger. Th@ Green Dog Burger-garbanzo beans, mushrooms, walnuts, and herbs topped with baby arugula, finely Shredded white cheddar-did not disappoint. The hand-forrned.ltghtly pan-seared masterpiece has a nice crunch, and the red onion and tomato jam is a sweet addition./3543 Columbia Pkwy. [olumbia·Tuswlum, (513) 321·8m www.greendogcafe.net

W"at'. Por Dinner

A small chalkboard hanging behind the counter proclaims, "Veggie Burgers Made Here. By Hand. With Love:· The thick patty 01 lentils. chic'kpeas. parsley. peanuts. on ion, textu red soy p rote in, and wh eat g lute n seared 0 n alia t gri llis f1avorfu I on its own but a swipe of relish (or a homemade mustard. or barbecue sauce) would really help us teelthe love. /3009 o Bryon St., OBryorrvilie. (513) 321-4404. wwwwhars{ordinnerdelicom

Cal' De Whee'.

What began as love at first bite quickly fell apart-literally-before bite number two That said. the spicy basrna t i brow n ri ceo beet (h a n a ce I bean. 5U n flower seed, mushroom, onion, carrot, egg concoction gets point, for originality. We'll see each other agai n. / www.cafedewheels.cDm

Collee Bmporlum

Served on a multi·grain kaiser roll. this black bean burger stayed true to lorm from start to finish. The crispy romaine lettuce and tomato give the sandwich ani ce crunch and the r anc h d ressl ng an d leta tone down its ove rail p spp ery chtpctle flavor.! Three area IDeations, Including Over" the-Rhine. 110 E. Central Pkwy.. Over-the-Rhine. 513-651-5483. www.coffee-emporium.com

Me" Bclectic De"

Th e Cu s tom Burger is pretty d am good for "wh ea I meat," e; selte n, with sesame and fen ne I flavors se rve don a whole wh ea t hoagi e with provoton e c he ese . Owner Lisa Kagen tops her sandwiches with orgamc, locally grown Vegetables, and the burger is one of many vegelarianlvegan friendly items on the menu. /4165 Hamilton Ave., Northside. (513) 68/·6358. wwwmeltOncywm -u.s.

68 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010

I can explain Christopher Smitherman.

Explaining a black man-an articulate, intelligent, aggressive, and yes, angry black man like the president of the Cincinnati chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People-could be construed as a defensive waste of time. After .a11, the 44th president of these United States is black. Isn't that enough to satiate black America? Enough ulready,crybubies.

But hold it .. Not when the Tea Party's fringe element spits "nigger" at Rep.

John Lewis-a civil rights icon-for supporting health care legislation. Seems black maleness is still up for discussion.

The complexities and racism roiling within a black man's identity is an expansive history lesson extending back to William Edward Burghardt Du Bois, the brilliant turn-of-the-century intellectual and scholar, and an architect, in 1909, of the NAACP. Du Bois's seminal, semi-autobiographical 1903 book The Souls of Black Folk is a treatise on and explana tioll of the black male. Du Bois arguably gave America its first extended gaze at a cosmopolitan, educated, handsome, and sometimes threatening black man. A post+Civil War Barack Hussein Obama, as it were.

Which brings us to Smitherman: He listed "president" as a life goal in his biographical statement to the League of Women Voters when he fan for Cincinnati City Council in 2003, back when Obama was still a funny-named state legislator from Illinois.

Love or loathe Smitherman, he's always got his eyes on the prize. It's part of who he is.

His parents are Dr. Herbert and Barbara Smitherman,

Ebony-elegant people who came of age during blacks' transition from colored to Negro; part of a generation of college-graduated "fusts"-first to live in white enclaves, to be named to civil service posts, to excel in academia. Herbert Sr. was the first black PhD hired by Procter & Gamble; a chemist, he holds several patents there. Barbara has a master's degree in education and worked for 30 years as an administrator throughout Cincinnati Public Schools. The accomplished Smithermans expected their six children-Herbert [r., 50; James, 49; Albert, 48; Joe, 45; Christopher, 43; and Mae Angela, 42-to follow suit. To live The American Dream.

Today the Smithermans live that dream mostly in close proximity. Christopher's ioi-year-old grandmother, Mozelle Flowers, and

brother James live with Herbert Sr. and Barbara in North Avondale; Christopher, a financial planner, his wife, Pamela, and their five children live two houses away; Mae

Angela. a high-ranking Ford Motor executive, bought the house in between, though she lives in Detroit. Albert lives on the other side of Christopher. Joe does kitchen and bathroom remodeling around the city. And Herbert Jr. is a Detroit physician who appeared on Obama's short list for Surgeon General.

"When Smitherman landed the seventh seat on City Council in the 2003 election, his platform was racial healing and fiscal responsibility. He was an underdog who emerged from nowhere; a maverick before John McCain and Sarah Palin turned the word into a punch line. But the very assets that catapulted him onto council-hubris, fearlessness, and the bothersome persistence of a sweat beewere the same things that ultimately did him in, sealing his reelection fate two years later: In 2005, Smitherman placed rith, two notches below the top nine. In between, Smitherman set his sights on the NAACP chapter presidency, eventually wrestling it from then-president Edith Thrower in a tense, back-and-forth election that he only won after forcing a clandestine re-count. "It wasn't as much a struggle with Edith as it was with the business community," he says.

Not long after taking control of the NAACP, Smitherman sent out a press release headlined "MLK Day Should Be A Time For Introspection," which addressed what detractors have thought and whispered about him for yeats. "Cincinnati still believes that I need to get in my place because they see me as black:' he wrote. "The status quo wants me at the table, but they do not want to hear me speak."

It is a sentiment he reiterated to me during one of two sit-downs. But it seems Smitherman has spoken. Loudly and repeatedly. In city council chambers, in ballot initiatives forged in cahoots with surprising political" allies," in protests against the Cincinnati Public School Board, in TV and radio rants. Though sometimes blurred by the bluster, he is actually waking the sleeping slave that is-or was-e-the Cincinnati NAACP and turning it back toward Du Bois's century-old edict of reckonable action toward white oppression, as well as political and economic advocacy for blacks in need. However Christopher Smitherman is perceived, he has brought it-the attention, the occasional approbation, the frequent exasperatiori, all of it-on himself. But that's only part of the explanation.

EXPLANATION NO.1:

Christopher Smitherman is an action f!gure best experienced live.

70 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010

Between his career at Smitherman Daley financial Group, raising five kids with his wife, steering America's second-oldest NAACP chapter, and holding forth on his weekly radio show, it's a

wonder Smitherman has energy to strategize and oversee the machinations of a pre-dawn protest.

But he does. And one day this past winter, he illustrated how it's done. Rolling up his sleeves to take on Cincinnati Public Schools for the district's attempts to "inflate the numbers and mislead the community" about the awarding of jobs and contracts for CPS's massive $700 million facility renovation, he starts by recruiting more than 30 NAACP members for an upcoming protest operation. Dilling the call-in portion of the January 16, 2010, broadcast of Smitherman on the Mic, his radio show on 1230 AM WDBZ, he announces, cryptically: "Those that wanna be part of history call [the chapter's office]' We're gonna be locked shoulder-to-shoulder in solidarity. We're not gonna share the details here, but come [MLK Day] we'll be in solidarity,"

Smitherman's inviting tone then turns cold with a warning. "If we get a leak and I figure out who leaked the information to the other side, I'm gonna publicly thrash you," he hisses. "Do not leak our information to the majority ... if you leak this you will regret it. I promise you."

I'm in. I leave my number at the NAACP offices, hoping to snag an invite to the event. Smitherman himself makes the late-night call. He registers surprise when he realizes it's me, the same Kathy Y. Wilson he knows is writing this very story about him. Then he gives me the location ofthe protest: Parham Elementary School in Evanston, a building undergoing renovation. On Martin Luther King Junior Day 2010, I head into the pre-dawn cold to witness another chapter in Cincinnati's postmodern Civil Rights movement unfold.

At stake: A more substantial portion of the facilities overhaul specifically for black-not merely minority-contractors and work crews. In January, CPS admitted it had committed "a clerical error" in reporting that $84 million had been awarded to minority (mostly Hispanic and Indian) contractors. The error: an $8.9 million contract to a white-owned company incorrectly counted among CPS's funning tally of minority contractors. More tellingly, less than 2 percent (roughly $14 million) of the massive $700 million building/renovation budget was going to blacks.

"You can't say that's a clerical error-it's just false!" Smitherman said to his radio audience when the mistake came to light. "I want all of

you who called in and said, 'I'm not seeing any minority contractors' - I want all you to know"-he paused for dramatic effect-"you're not crazy. You. Ar:e. Not. Crazy."

Back to the scene:

With economic disparity as their ammo (that clerical errorl), protestors convene at Unity Missionary Baptist Church on Fairfield Avenue in Evanston, right next to Parham Elementary, to sing hymns, pray, distribute signs, and plan who will stand nearest the protest site and what to do if Cincinnati police show up to arrest anyone. "When I fall on my knees, with my face to the rising sun, Oh, Looord, haaaave mercy on me:' we sing in unison.

Smitherman, head thrown back and fists thrust in the air, leads the song from the pulpit. (The 1985 School for Creative & Performing Arts grad has a beautiful voice, it must be said.) Heavily layered against the cold, the short, boyish Smitherman looks like he has raided his father's closet; even with a hoodie, a sweater, and an overcoat he appears slight. But that only disguises the fight within. "There's only two people in this room who- if they need to arrest somebody-can get arrested. That's me and Dock foster," he says, referring to the Rev. Dock foster, the dark, stout, white- haired pastor of Unity, president of the Baptist Minister's Conference, NAACP lieutenant, and a loyal, outspoken Smitherman supporter. It was Foster who reported the Kentucky and Indiana license plates of the all-white Parham work crew to the NAACP.

The choice of MLK Day for protest is more than symbolic: Not only should there be greater black inclusion in work crews, but those crews should not be working on this sacrosanct holiday. "How do they [reconcile] that their schools are shut down, their teachers are off, their students are off, but their construction goes on?" Smitherman says to the crowd, his voice rising. "We're gonna stand at those gates today and greet those Kentucky and Indiana construction workers! We can tell the world what [CPS] is doing with its billion-dollar project."

Outside the church, the construction site is quiet. Yet news trucks from channels 5, 9, and 12 are here, throwing their camera lights on the darkness. I make my way in the Crowd to James Clingman, marketing consultant, founder of the African-American Chamber of Commerce, and NAACP economic development chairman. It was Clingman who went to the CPS offices, asked to see the construction rolls, and scrutinized the district's computerized records over the shoulder of the manager of supplier diversity.

"It was all right there," Clingman tells me. Then he drills down to why the discrepancy has so enraged a contingency of the NAACP. "White folks can count their money in the CPS contracts but black folks can't because we're called 'minorities' along with two or three other groups of people," he says. "We have come to the point where the city of Cincinnati will see that we're dead serious about things and we won't be backed up. If anybody wants to go to work, sorry. Not today."

At 5:10 a.m. a police car rolls past; soon another cruiser is idling quietly across the street. Shortly before 6 a.m., former City Councilman Sam Malone, who came to show his support, says that CPS got wind of Smitherman's plan and "put word out to workers to shut the job sites down. So workers might not be showing up today." At 6 a.m, Smitherman makes an official press statement. Word comes back from Hughes Center, North Avondale Montessori, ancl the future School for Creative & Performing Arts that workers have arrived. At 6:30 a.rn, a decision is made: The protestors will go and investigate the other sites. I leave, knowing Smitherman has many more ways to flog CPS.

Smitherman majored in drama at SCPA,

and his education has served him well. He is • CONTINUED ON PAGE 103

JULY 2010 I CINCINNATI I '1

*TO ..

FACEBOOK

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~ AIESHA D, LITTLE

I JULY 1010

REMEMBER PENS AND PAPER?

51

LAN 0 L N E S and V

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Li/e as we knew it be/ore the Internet?

WELL, WE KNOW A WOMAN WHO TOOK A SEVEN-DAY BREAK FROM 21ST CENTURY TECHNOLOGY ... AND LIVED!

THIS IS THE TALE OF HER SHORT,UNHAPPY,

LOW- TECH LIFE.

1 LLU STRATION BY MAR KALLEN MI LLER

A FEW DAYS AFTER Christmas, r booted up my laptop and was greeted with "WARNING! YOUR COMPUTER IS INFECTED!" in giant, blood red letters . My stomach twisted the way it does just before I throw up. I dialed my cousin, Mark, in Nashville, a computer guy who rebuilds laptops and desktops from scratch, and his first question was jarring in its simplicity: "What kind of antivirus software are you running?"

"Uh," r hedged, feeling dumber by the second, "I don't know." I really didn't know. Some software had been installed at the time I purchased the laptop a year and a half ago. That meant it was still valid, right? Apparently not. By letting my antivirus software expire, I opened myselfup to all kinds of troubles, namely identity theft. I'd read the horror stories about hackers using viruses to steal Social Security numbers and credit card info to purchase everything from sneakers to cars. Crap, I thought. What if someone's stealing my identity right now?!?

"Mail it to me tomorrow," Mark said, clearly trying to comfort me, even though I could tell by his tone that he was annoyed. "I'll have it fixed and back to you in no time."

After we hung up, I spent the next two hours dusting the knickknacks in my living room and cleaning my hardwood floors, unsure of what to do with myself. I went out and bought a new com-

puter the very next day. _j

74 I crNCINN.ATI I JULY 2010

Surviving a few days without the Internet should be no problem. But you see, my computer is the central nervous system of my house. It is the sun and everything rotates around it. I pay bills online .. I'm constantly uploading videos and photos to Facebook and You Tube. When I'm sick, I can work from home because I have access to my company email account. And I haven't used my DVD player in months; why should r when I can pop movies into my CD - RW drive? I don't have cable, and thanks to the streaming goodness of Netflix and Hulu, I don't need it. (I'm not alone. An April report from the Toronto- based Convergence Consulting Group stated that 800,000 households cancelled their cable and satellite accounts in favor of watching TV online last year.)

I'm in a precarious situation, one that many people of a certain age and/or socioeconomic status can relate to. I'm not a Luddite who disdains the existence oftoday's technological advances, but I'm not a technophile either. I don't own an iPod, I don't have GPS in my car, arid 1 only use my cell phone for phone calls and the occasional text message. I still own a turntable and vinyl records. The economy being what it is, it's highly unlikely that there's an iPad in my foreseeable future. (And because I write for a magazine, that's a problem: Some predict that the iPad is my future.) I'm sure that there's a whole segment of the population living in this techno limbo with me. We remember the days when the size of a cell phone made it look like part of'a moon rover and when switching from Betamax to VHS meant you had arrived. We feel nostalgic for an era when newfangled technology was a sign of luxury, not necessity.

In my estimation, things went completely haywire somewhere in the mid-rccos. In 1995, I was a college freshman. I don't remember anyone in or outside of my circle of friends having cell phones; in fact, only I) percent of the country was using them at the time. The .edu e-mail account from my university was the first e-mail address I ever had. My computer? A generic, no-name brand with a nifty dot matrix printer. The DVD was still in its infancy, not yet available in the United States, and the marketing geniuses at Apple had yet to begin their Reign of Cool, in which they convinced the masses that the Mac is the hippest thing since sliced bread or toilet paper. It was all percolating, however, brewing right under our noses. We were on the precipice of a technology takeover and we didn't even know it.

Those of us who remember that primitive age are at once surprised and alarmed by what we've become with the onslaught of products and gadgets that have made our society more efficient and, at the same time, much more harried. The reasons some of us don't partake in all ofthese z istcentury creature comforts may vary-we're cheap, we're broke, we're in to vintage on principle - bu t we have one thing in common: We aren't necessarily bothered by our technological shortcomings.

Or are we? What if! had to live without my computer? My cell phone? My DVD of Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon? Could

I do it? The Great Laptop Meltdown of 2009 showed me that perhaps I couldn't. It was time to prove my mettle.

MY ALARM CLOCK BLARES,. getting progressively louder each moment I don't move. When I finally roll over and slap the "off" button, the numbers 7:0$ stare back at me.If this were a normal day, I'd get up, make some breakfast, and hop on the computer to start digging my way through yesterday's tweets and Facebook status updates like the weekend couch sloth I am. I'd watch the newest episode of Grey's Anatomy or Fringe on Hulu, stream a. foreign film or two on N etflix, and settle in for a long, lazy Sunday. But today? Today, I turn over and go back to sleep.

Much to the pleasure of my editors and friends (all of whom seem to enjoy it when I torture myself for the sake of my craft), I have agreed to spend seven entire days living off the info -tech grid as much as humanly possible. In an attempt to live like I did before technology started taking over my life, I chose 1995 as the cutoff point. That means no cell phone calls, personal e- mail, or DVDs. Also, no Netflix, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, or Hulu. What do I have to prove? That I'm not a slave to technology; that I can take or leave all of this stuff. It'll be a piece of cake in some ways. In others? Not so much. I have three personal e-mail accounts (four total, if you include my work account); I'm an administrator on three Facebook pages; and I contribute to three Twitter feeds and two blogs, If I can pull this off, I can claim victory over the many ways in which I drive myself to distraction. At least temporarily.

The next time I look at my clock, it's 10 :30 and I have to admit that I'm a little refreshed. But maybe I'm a bit recharged because I spent the previous day funning around like a convicted felon trying to get her affairs in order before turning herself in for a lengt hy prison sentence. On Sa turday afternoon, I'd gone over the ways I could entertain myself

without logging on to my compu ter: knitting, power walking, rollerblading through Spring Grove Cemetery, lunching with friends, reading a month's worth of back issues of The

I AM CRANKY. EXTREMELY CRANKY. IT'S ONLY BEEN A DAY SINCE MY CONVERSATION WITH THE SLOWDOWN GURU, AND THE ROSY GLOW OF MY LOW-TECH ZEN IS GONE.

New Yorker and New York magazine, cleaning, and gardening. Anything I could do to keep my mind off the fact that I can't get on to my computer was up for consideration.

The sky's the limit, really. I could finally put that second coat of paint on my bathroom walls. I could finish

building the window seat for my living room. This could be a productive week! But two loads oflaundry, one load of dishes, two magazines, and one long nap later, I'm beat. Again. It's exhausting pretending I don't want to go online. Is this what smokers feel like when they try to quit cold turkey?

When I meet my frien d, Pat, a short while later at the Blue Wisp Jazz Club for the Jason Marsalis show, she grins evilly and

asks if it's against the rules for me to look at her Facebook page. "I mean, if I'm looking at my page and you happen to be looking over my shoulder, that doesn't count, does it?"

I assure her that it does. I'm sure she won't be the only one to tempt me. It 's ~wait, did Jason Marsalis just send a text message during the piano player's solo? Great. It's only been a day and tech deprivation has me seeing t hings.

I'M BACK IN THE 0 HI CE on Monday and the hum of my Mac is soothing, its low, steady drone like a siren's song to which I'm unmistakably drawn. It's nothing more than white noise-s-precious, precious white noisa+- but it alerts me to a problem with the rules for this "low-tech/no tech" life. I have to work, and my work involves spending most of the day doing research and writing. On a compu ter, If t he cutoff year for this experiment is 1995, how am I going to police myself? In have to check when a website was created, isn't it cheating if it was created after 199 5? Things are getting fuzzy.

I make a few men tal concessions and my solution is to give up Google for the week, too. The site wasn't created unti12000, so I decide to use whatever was around before it. What was that again? It takes me a while to remember that Yahoo! was the search engine of choice before Google came along. The day flies by and I manage to stay on task with few interruptions. I don't check my personal e-mail. I don't use Google. I don't check Facebook or Twitter. After work, I head home, read a few stories in The Best American Magazine Writing 2009, and I'm in bed by 9:30.

I'm feeling pretty proud of myself until late Tuesday afternoon when I start to suffer a bit of Facebook withdrawal, I hate it, actually. Why? Because this assignment has made me realize how much time I waste on the social networking site. It's as if I have no real friends, just online" friends" with whom I can only bear to interact through the cold, hard glare of a computer screen. I'm disconnected without ever really having been connected in the first place.

To whom will I tell what I'm doing, where I'm going, and other information that really doesn't matter? I don't know if someone is hitting the "like" button on the photos of my new pumps or me sipping wine in Napa Valley. There's no one to whom I can ask arbitrary questions and get equally arbitrary answers. Who will smiley-face or LOL me when I say that the guy at the T- Mobile kiosk in Tower Place Mall is my new imaginary boyfriend? I am alone.

I told a few of my friends that I would be doing this experiment and gave them the number of my Iandline at home (yes, I still have a landline, but only because it's required for my security alarm system), yet no one has called to offer support, condolences, or even the briefest of conversations. Are we so busy that phone conversations have become passe? Then again, most of them weren't people I would chat on the phone with anyway. That would be weird because it's almost like I'd be bothering them. Am I being irrational?

I need a logical explanation for the way I'm feeling, so I contact Christopher Richards, creator. CONT I N UEO 0 N PAGE 136

JULY 2D1O I CINCINNATI I 7S

Good Morning Trl-State

• BREAKING NEWS ................... • LATEST TRAFFIC

• THE MOST ACCURATE FORECAST

Including:

• At-home Care

• Retirement Facility Directory

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Edition

p.84

Taking Care Surviving the role of family caretaker.

Rein'Venting the Family Reunion .78

- -

reinventing I

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Fatnily Reunion

How multiple generations are finding fun and making memories at home and away. B"), Jellntfe,.IIo_4un nedmond Photos fry Keiser Plwtograp"')'

When Mike and Kathy McCurdy planned a. family reunion at their Milford home last summer, they did just what they had done a few years earlier when they hosted Kathy's sister's wedding reception in the backyard, Except this time they didn't have the tent, the flowers or the formal wear. And this time their professional portraits included fake noses and glasses, After all, a reunion is supposed to be fun! For the McCurdys-whose extended family hails from Cleveland, Biloxi, Chicago and the West Coast-visiting their Cincinnati roots and visiting one-an-one with each other makes every generation happy.

A big anniversary, a milestone birthday, an impending move." any reason-or none at all-is a fine excuse to throw a family party. While there is no magic trick. for controlling the weather or managing quirky personalities, the McCurdys and some creative local families have discovered how to plan reunions that delight everybody from grandparents to toddlers ..

18 I CINCINNAti I JULY 2010 I SENIOR LIVING

Pla,n Ahead

Whether your reunion is an afternoon barbecue on the deck, an allinclusivecruise, or a week-long beach vacation, throwing it all together at the last minute is a bad idea and will do little to strengthen the familial bonds. For the greatest participation and overall success, begin the discussion nine months to a year in advance (essential if you're booking a cruise or renting high-demand property). Email is a great way to coordinate schedules and hash out ideas, bu t copy everyone on email responses and make sure all are informed. Keep in mind that older folks may prefer a phone call for such communication, so be sensitive to this need.

Very large groups, those wirh accessibility limitations (particularly those who depend on wheelchairs) and very specific needs and requests require particularly savvy planners. Linda Moloney of Beach Properties begins renting up to a year in advance for summer on South Carolina's Hilton Head Island. She notes that the newer,

SENIOR LIVING SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

For the McCul'dys' extended family, ViSiting their Cincinnati. roots and spencl1ng time together makes every generatIon ha.ppy.

larger homes with amenities such as pools and elevators are snatched up quickly. Families preferring condominium units or smaller rentals in clusters have a bit more flexibility and choice, particularly on the island's Palmetto Dunes, Sea Pines and Forest Beach areas. Beyond the beach, some national and state park lodges 01' cabins are great values and super reunion spots but again, you need to reserve the space early.

Though last-minute cruise deals can be found, if you're planning for a group, it's best not to wait. Jackie Crowley, an outside agent working through Wayfarer Travel, notes

that reserving multiple rooms on a ship can

be challenging. Enlisting a tour company or travel agent who knows the inside story regarding specific arrangements and cruise lines can facilitate the process.

As for cost, "You pay the same whether you use an agent or not," when booking a cruise or a tour, Crowley says. Agents can also get special tour conductor credit or group discounts, adds Beth Baran of Travel Leaders. Sometimes an individual can get negotiated airfare rates through an agent as well, she says.

Keel' it SimlJle

Traditional home-hosted family reunions can be a lot of work, but the McCurdys

have learned over the years that simplicity is the key to a low-stress gathering. Last August, the McCurdys welcomed 32 relatives from 10 families throughout the country to their home for "a perfect weekend," Mike recalls. They planned outings (Reds games, trips to Eden Park, Skyline Chili and Graeter's) in smaller groups as each family arrived in town. The official reunion gathering, however, was a casual afternoon on their large backyard deck.

With Kathy's parents in their early 80s and the youngest child 5 months old at the time, the couple wanted no fuss over meals. "We do family, not food," Mike says. The children splashed in portable pools and enjoyed nearby ponds while the adults visited. What if it had rained? "It didn't," he laughs.

Weather worries can be eased by renting a tent or opting for a park shelter like members of the Bien clan. Julie Albanese and her cousin tackled a reunion for nearly 200 Bien relations. Many had never met each other. Working from her grandmother's original photo of 10 brothers and sisters, Julie tracked down relatives and invited all to a summer gathering at Sharon Woods. (You can also get help from www.ancestry.com.) Each branch of the family brought its own picnic. Organizers provided nametags, a sheet cake and a family tree. Sand pits, paddleboats and the park's other amenities were enough to entertain everyone for the day. For information on Cincinnati park shelters, check www.cincyparks.corn. Keep in mind that the broad age range of participants really becomes important when you're planning activities. When the Weinberg family gathered in Texas in 2000, the weekend included an open-air train ride-in August. The two-hour tour was great fun for the 10- to 40- year-old crowd, but the near-record-high temperatures that summer were oppressive for the babies and grandparents.

By the way, simplicity can be achieved when you're away on vacation, too. Personal concierge services can help you hire a chef or have groceries delivered, Moloney says. Travel agents can connect vacationers with those services at their destination cities.

Cooperate

Some families have perfected the family reunion through trial and error. For 20 years, Scott and Chris Malach of Loveland have joined Scott's parents,. five siblings and their families at the beach. Most of

the week-long summer reunions have been spent on North Carolina's Outer Banks in a large home with a pool, a game room and accommodations for 24 family members. The home also has an elevator, a must because ofa family member's limited mobility.

"TIle key to making everything work is cooperation," Chris says. They have created systems for everything from sleeping arrangements (they rotate bedrooms every year) to meals. Rules and boundaries have been established for noise levels, bathroom use and grocery shopping. "It's not always equal," Chris admits. But it doesn't matter.

In order for this type of arrangement to work, you have to get over the minutiae.

Family dinners together are a great part of the Malach teamwork tradition. Each family prepares one evening meal for the entire group. "Eating meals at home every night is wonderful," Chris says. «All you have to do is show up." Ham, lasagna, pasta, breakfast for dinner ... they've done it all. Some cooks get creative, and recipes are often shared. Nobody gets saddled with too much work.

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Norbert and Mary Alice Menke of Madeira celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary by taking their six children and their families (a total of35 people) on a four-day Carnival Caribbean cruise. "The whole thing was fan tastic," says their daughter, Sharon Menke Milligan of North Canton, Ohio. 'TI10ugh the clan has gathered for five vacation reunions, cruising was a new adventure for the Menkes, With no cooking, no clean-up and no driving hassles, everyon~ from age 8 to 75-had a great time.

For these reasons, cruises are particularly popular with grandparents. Moreover; handicap-accessible cruises are readily available from a variety of cruise lines so everyone can enjoy the experience. Again, a travel agent can help you ensure that ports, tours and tender boats (which move people from the ship to the port) are accessible.

While a cruise is definitely a pricier reunion option for a crowd, there are deals to be had and creative ways to cut costs. Crowley of Wayfarer Travel notes that some tours leave from Charleston, S. C., a mere day's drive for Cincinnatians who want to avoid air travel. Shorter cruises range from approximately $350-$700 per persofl, Crowley estimates, though prices change often,

Those who are skittish about being trapped on a boat with relatives (and thousands of strangers) can relax: These ships are .floating cities so it's easy to get away from the crowd. Or if you're like Chris Gunkel, a Menke in -law, you can simply send the rest of your family off to Cozumel for the day while the ship is at pon and have the entire 3S-seat block of tables to yourself at dinner. (The Carnival wait staff was amused to see dressed-up Chris all alone at the massive table, enjoying his quiet time.)

80 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010 I SENIOR LIVING

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Creeae (1. Keel)Sake

Each family has a unique personality and a history that changes with each passing year. With modern, lightweight recorders and even cell phones you can easily capture highlights of your reunion. Family stories told by the elders provide invaluable keepsakes and can be distributed to each family after the celebration.

But don't forget the photos! Candid snapshots are super and really showcase the personality of your group, so take plenty. Adding a professional photo shoot will ensure that you get the best possible images.

"We could've had five cameras going and we wouldn't have captured what Keith and Angie did," Mike McCurdy says of Keiser Photography's Keith and Angie Keiser.

'TIlough the McCurdys originally enlisted the couple to take a large group portrait and a photo of each family unit, they were so thrilled with the results that they worked with the Keisers to produce first a web g-allery and finally a print book that includes both professional images and snapshots, some collected from past events as well. 111e McCurdys surprised their children with a gift copy at Christmas. "It's just going to be more valuable as time goes on," Keith Keiser notes.

But is this expensive? It depends on what you want and how organized you are, Keith says. Kathy and Mike knew what they wanted, so the photo shoot was an hour and a half rather than an energy-draining day, he explains. Another time-saving tip obvious to parents: Photo shoots work best after children have napped.

If your reunion is a multi-day event, schedule your professional portrait session at the beginning of your time together. This way, you can reschedule If the weather becomes blustery or someone gets

SENIOR LIVING SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

sick.The Weinberg family (which includes the Hayutln branch from Cincinnati) met their professional photographer at the end of the scorching-hot train ride. As a result, the red-faced babies and wilting grandparents have become part of the permanent record.

The Menkes and the Malachs hire a photographer every few years but always take a lot of their own photos, including one shot of the entire family. When photographing a large group on your own, remember that more people in a row means more sky and more ground in your shot, explains Kim Rice of Keepsake Photography Studio in Mt. Lookout. She recommends "stacking" people to get the best image. Create rows by using picnic tables or benches, for example.

Whether you're taking your own photos or hiring a professional, dressing as a family unit works well for group shots. Rebecca VanDeventer of Hilton Head Island Photography recommends khaki and white for its timeless, classic look. Some families differentiate themselves with colored shirts, as the McCurdys did.

The 18 members of the Berendt family wore custom-made Tshirts with the island of St. Lucia pictured to commemorate the trip. "Do your T-shirt research," Katie Brooks from the Cincinnati branch of the family advises now. Family members couldn't figure out for the

first few days of the trip why the locals in St. Lucia were laughing at them. In a thick Caribbean accent, the scuba guide finally told them:

"You people got it all wrong!"The island was printed upside down.

Pocus on 111lat's InllJOrtant

The point of a family reunion seems obvious-e-tc connect with each other-but this goal is easily obscured with details and the occasional conflict. Plan early, come to an agreemen t, then just let it go and have fun, How you do this is as unique as each family.

No two Menke family reunions are alike .. They have cycled in Colorado for the Courage Classic, visited the beach and cruised the Caribbean. An adventurous bunch, they like to try new things together. Other families, like the Malachs, grow closer with enduring tradi tions.Through the little girl tea parties at "Nanny's beach house" to the week-long Texas Hold 'em Tournaments, the cousins have become friends over Survivor contests, photo-scavenger hunts and pet hermit crab races. AU the kids know that Pop Pop is always up for a card game.

Whatever YOIl do and however you do it, remember that the goal is not to be entertained, but to be together. _

The Cincinnati USA Sampler

The Queen City and its surrounding counties provide endless activities for family reunion weekends. Here are some recommendations from local convention and visitors bureaus.

CincinnatilHarnilton County:

(ww..w Ci ncinnatiUSA.com) The Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden has universal appeal. Families can also catch

a Reds game (group seating/prices available) or visit the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center. Those who like to tour should check out Architreks "CincinnatiWalks" Tours and Newport Gangster Tours. You can also explore Cincinnati's Eden Park and/or downtown via Segway ww..w.segwayofohio.com}. The Cincinnati Museum Center at Union Terminal offers five museum experiences inside the

historic Art Deco former train station.

lJutler County: (ww..w.destination butlercounty.com) EnterTRAINment Junction in West Chester appeals to all ages. Touted as the world's only train-themed entertainment center, visitors can enjoy a 25,000-sq.-ft. model train display, a railroad museum and a Thomas the Tank Engine-themed play

area The skies above Middletown burst with color during the MidFirst Ohio Challenge Hot Air Balloon Festival, July 16-18,2010. And if you're looking for an outdoor venue for your reunion, try the Voice of America Park and its Ronald Reagan Lodge.

Clermont County:

(ww..w visitciermontohio.com) The Cincinnati Nature Center is a big hit with visitors of any age. History buffs can check out the birthplace of President

Ulysses S .. Grant or take a family driving tour of Underground Railroad and abolitionist sites along the Freedom Trail (guide available on the CVB website above). Harsha! East Fork Lake is very popular with rowers and home to two major championship regattas.

Warren CQunty: (ww..w.ohioslargestplayground. com) There's more to do in

a 30-mile radius of Warren County than anywhere else

in Ohio. Great Wolf Lodge at Kings Island is a super home base for visiting families. The new Ozone Zipline Adventures (a tree-top canopy tour) at YMCA Camp Kern attracts outdoorsy thrill-seekers, while Morgan's Canoe Livery and the Little Miami Scenic Trai.1 in Loveland offer additional touring options. Historic Waynesville is an antique-lover's dream. The Ohio Renaissance Festival and the Ohio Sauerkraut Festival are fall favorites.

The Annual Lebanon Carriag.e Parade & Christmas Festival draws large crowds.

Nortllern Kenttlck)!: (ww..w.nkycvb.com) Just across the Ohio River is the Newport Aquarium, named the No. 1 aquarium in the Midwest by

a Zagat Survey. It's one of the many attractions at Newport on the Levee, a popular shopping and dining destination. Or, book a seat on Ride the Ducks Newport an amphibious vehicle that takes a 45- minute guided tour over land and water-a truly unique way to see the historic waterfronts of Newport, Covington and Cincinnati (ww..w.newportducks.com). Of particular interest to military families

is the new Spirit of America live-action show at NKU September 17-18 (free but tickets required through The Bank of Kentucky Center) highlighting U.S. history through the eyes of the American soldier.

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Taking Care

Legions of baby boomers are assuming a demanding new role-caring for their parents. Here's how to survive it.

R}, Colecn Armstrong

Too often, it begins with a crisis.

Your 85 -year-old mother is in a rehabilitation center, recovering from an injury. The phone rings. Her therapy is completed. Since Mom can do the rest of her healing at home (either yours or hers) along with periodic monitoring, she'll be released within the hour, and you'll need to fetch her immediately.

In the blink of an eye, you've just been drop-kicked into the topsy-turvy world of eldercare-where every day seems to bring another challenge.

Baby boomers, whose numbers are estimated at 78.2 million in the U.S., have long been categorized by the media as self-interested and over-indulged, but current evidence indicates otherwise. Many are now helping their elderly parents-while simultaneously juggling fulltime jobs, babysitting grandkids, and trying to replace staggering losses to their depleted retirement accounts. But with all that to juggle, preparing for sudden catastrophes often isn't on anyone's radar screen.

"Almost without exception, adult children reach out willingly," says Doug Spider, CEO of Episcopal Retirement Homes. "But what we see is families thrust in to this situation with no preplanning and no sense of what's involved. Out of the blue, Mom or Dad experiences a major life incident. You need to make important decisions, and guide your parent through some very difficult times."

All of which will run more smoothly if you begin early. The worst time to marshal your forces is immediately following an emergency, when no one is able to think dearly. Don't wait for a crisis. Even if your parents are in relatively good health, you're going to need a plan.

84 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010 I SENIOR LIVING

SENIO'R LIVING SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

Step One: Consult a geriatric care or case manager (GeM).

Most hospitals and extended-care facilities provide contact information; many even have such professionals on staff. At Mercy Hospital Western Hills, for example, nurse case managers look at clinical needs, and social workers help with discharge planning, says Leslie Nahigyan, director of quality and case management. "We're very proactive," she notes, "about getting options in front of patients and their families."

''An elderly parent may have a heart condition or be a newly diagnosed diabetic," explains Mercy social worker Maureen Duwel, LSW. "We'll set up home care with a visiting nurse, and assess safety factors by finding out how many stairs there are, or if dogs might present a danger of tripping. And we'll have that talk early in the hospital stay, then the horne-care staff goes out once the patient is released and sees how things are working." Sometimes, she says, Mom or Dad will be overly optimistic about getting back homeand then discover that rising from bed isn't so easy. The social worker can help the family to line up some assistance.

Kathy Ison, vice-president at Episcopal Retirement Homes and responsible for geriatric case management, acknowledges that for adult children the prospect of navigating eldercare can seem at first like wrestling an octopus. Issues may range from deciphering medical bills, to scheduling Meals On Wheels, to attaching grab bars in a shower. All feel equally overwhelming, but sometimes a GCM can suggest a very simple solution.

One elderly woman was having trouble carrying clean laundry from the basement to her bedroom. Did she need to pack up and move to assisted living, her family inquired? No, Ison said; just arrange for a stackable washer-and-dryer unit to be installed near the kitchen.

TIP: Separate the minor from the mindboggling. Purchasing a walker or adding an elevated toilet seat is easy. On the other hand, boomers often have no idea what kind of Medicare insurance their parents carry, says Maureen Duwel, and sometimes parents don't remember either. "Years ago, there was one standard of Medicare coverage," she says. "Today there are a lot of Medicare HMOs. That minor detail is a big difference." Hunt down that handbook, and learn all about copayments.

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Step Two:

Schedule a family meeting.

If a holiday season is the only time to gather everyone from the earth's four corners, so be it. Each adult child and each spouse, along with Mom and/or Dad, should be fully present to discuss strategic, financial and laborsharing alternatives.

TIP: Be sure. to invite the GCM or a mediator, who will keep everyone on the subject. "Also," Ison says, "you'd be amazed at how much more honest and vocal a parent may be with a care manager in the room. Maybe Mom doesn't want to go live with

TIP: Put everything in writing and distribute copies. It will help prevent a routine chorus of: "I thought you were doing that!"

Stcp Five:

Keep all paperwork in order.

You already know the drill: power of atrorney, durable health care power of attorney, a will, a trust, a living will. Call a firm that includes specialists in exactly what you need, advises Dennison Keller, whose elder law practice is in Kenwood. You m.ay already have dealt wi th your own retirement and estate planning (primarily from a tax-saving

"Almost without exception, adult children reach out willingly," says Spitler "But what we see is families thrust into this situation with no preplanning and no sense of what's involved. Out of the blue, Mom

or Dad experiences a major life incident. You need to make important decisions, and guide your parent through some very difficult times."

-Doug Spitler, CEO of Episcopal Retirement Homes

her oldest daughter-but she might otherwise remain silent, rather than hun anyone's feelings."

Step Thrce:

Give everybody an assignment, not just those who live nearby.

No matter how organized big sister Marla may be, it isn't fair if she has three jobs and younger brother Sam has none. And many tasks, like calling a plumber, can be completed long-distance.

TIP: Siblings who have a history of not handling responsibility well will continually disappoint, even as adults. Some protective low-balling may be in order. Perhaps Sam is okay with just mowi.ng the grass each Satmday-or even arranging to have it done.

Step Four:

Formulate back-up plans.

What if Dad completes his rehab within an unexpectedly short time? Who drives over to pick him up? Who restocks the fridge? Who stays with him during that first week back home? And what if sister Kelly starts back-pedaling on her monthly bill-paying duties? Who volunteers to take over? What alternate mission should Kelly then assume?

standpoint); this time you'll need someone who understands the ins and outs of paying for long-term care, government programs such as Medicare and Medicaid, and endof-life decisions.

"If you need new documents, some provisions may overlap with the old ones," Keller says. "A good elder law attorney will discuss with your mom or dad specific planning techniques such as including a gifting power. Does she allow her POA agent to give monetary gifts to himself? At age 50, maybe not. At age 70, it's a different matter."

TIP, Don't forget to make periodic updates-s-about every three to five years. Circumstances and desires can change.

Step Six:

Consider at-home care, at least for a while.

In cases of emergency, an escalated need or even a well-deserved caregiver vacation, agencies can put a schedule of rotating eight-hour shifts into place within hours. (See sidebar on page 92.) Establish a phone or email relationship, and understand the procedure before you need it, Be realistic, advises Barry Bortz, CEO of Carespring in Dayton, Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky: ~As long as Dad is alert and just needs help

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88 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010 I SENIOR LIVING

with bathing and taking rneds, you're fine. Later on, home care becomes questionable."

TIP; Although basic at-home care doesn't include medical treatments such as IVs, it does buy time to evaluate your choices. With the addition of a visiting nurse, it could become a fairly long-term solution.

SteJJ Seven:

Research extended-care facilities. Although only about S percent of seniors ever need long-term facility care, Bortz says, irs essential to have a handful of possibilities in place. First, understand the placement categories: independent living, transitional care, assisted living, nursing Clue and Alzheimer's wards. Continuous-care communities are popular options now, because they allow residents to stay within the facility as their care needs increase.

"J love the idea of blended communities, where independent and assisted residents are housed together, so when the time comes, they don't need to move to a different wing," says Kathleen Hammon, corporate vice president of marketing at Fairfield Pavilion with extended-care facilities in both Fairfield and Middletown.

Next, consider location. No one wants to spend two hOUIS on the freeway for a weekend visit. Then study socialization. "These are bustling places, complete with field trips," Spitler says. "We know the importance of keeping folks healthy and active." Sometimes, Hammon adds, an elderly person who starts interacting with peers "kind of springs hack to life!" Appetites increase, agrees Kathy Yerkes, retirement counselor at Mt, Pleasant Retirement Village in Monroe. "Once they have food placed in front of them, you'd be surprised at how much they can eat. Adult children exclaim, 'My mom has gained weight!' Well, she's eating healthy now and making new friends."

Don't confuse your parent with too many choices, Yerkes says; narrow them down to three or four, with a spreadsheet of plusses for each, Discuss accredi ta tion, state survey results, finances, a continuum of care, social calendars, and which perks may be more pivotal to him or her than to you, or vice-versa. When Gary Homing, vice president of marketing and communications at Otterbein Retirement Living Communities in Lebanon, went shopping for care for his father (about a decade before he came to work at Otterbein), he was surprised to discover that their preferences didn't quite coincide. (See sidebar on page 89.)

SENI;OR LIVING SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

Sounds like a plan

Shoppin.g for an extended-care facility for his father sounded simple enough, thought Gary Horning. But this was 1 0 years before he became marketing vice president of Otterbein Retirement Living! Communities in Lebanon. He knew that with so many locations and varied services, he'd need to approach the search through what he calls "segmentation and targeting. You start by listing the things that are most important to you."

First was quality of care. It didn't take long for Horning to discover that faith-based, not-far-profit groups seemed more focused on care than

on amenities. Second was physical proximity. He drew a line on a map between his father's house and his own, and not wanting to yank his dad too far out of his own element, he drew a circle with only a 15-mile radius.

Now armed with a short list, he talked to people about reputations, images and general feelings. Soon the number of choices was narrowed to three, and he took his dad to

visit each one. A final decision came quickly and easily.

"The most frustr ating thing for some people," Horning says now, "is that they're literally all over the map. Oh, this is cool, that's cool. Yet in the end, they gravitate toward the same basic elements that I've mentioned. It just takes them longer to get there."

Only one speed bump along the way: "The social life and resident activlties were far more important to me

as a baby boomer than to my dad, " Horning says. "We're so active and invested in our health that we want the swimming pools and the educational opportunities. My dad-ehe Just wanted a place where he could read, watch lV and walk down the hall for dinner.

"So in the end, it was a gift for

me just to know that a weight had been lifted from my shoulders .. And to know that he'd be okay."

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SENIO'R LIVING SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

Studying a parent's current environment also helps in understanding her wan ts and needs better, says Wendy Horn, chief marketing officer for The Stratford Companies wi th a facility in Kenwood: "People who want to live near their country club, their shopping centers, and their church or synagogue will feel more comfortable ill a residential neighborhood setting. Someone who has been living in a high-rise facing the Ohio River will feel that having a great view is still imporrant."

TfP: Don't get confused by terminology, Hammon says. "With every community trying to seem distinctive, you may hear different terms for the very same thing." Like. what? A fitness center, a workout room and a wellness center. You won't sound foolish if you ask for clarification.

Can you hear me nowP

Sooner or later. adult children will find themselves accompanying their parents to medical appointments. The first appointment may well be a hearing assessment.

"Frequently it's a fam ily member wh 0 's most concerned," says Teresa Guiliano, managing audiol.ogist with Queen City ENT Associates in Montgomery. "They'll say, 'I'm constantly yelling, and Mom still can't hear me,' or, 'I walk into the house, and the TV is so loud that it's shaking the walls: So they'll bring in the parent out of sheer frustration. "

Since hearing loss is such a gradual, progressive ailment, the parent may not even realize there's a problem. An audiologist will conduct testing, assess the degree of damage, explain possible causes (noise exposure, genetics, medication side effects, or Just plain-vanilla agi.ng), discuss insurance coverage and financial options, and then prescribe a remedy-generally a hearing aid.

Many seniors aren't aware of the technological advances that have taken place over the past decade, Guiliano says, so they underestimate the potential. "At age 80, you may not hear like a 20-year-old again," she admits, "but you will see a significant improvement."

Is it possible, then, that some adult children mistake 3. parent's undiagnosed hearing loss for senility?

"That's probably a bit of a stretch, "G u i llano says." But hearing issues can certainly disrupt communication, and that's always serious. So when you start to think, 'Dad's not listening; he's not paying attention.' then it's probably time for a check-up."

An added bonus: While on the premises, the boomer child may also elect to have an audiogram. After all, those earsplitting rock concerts and Jimi Hendrix records do eventually take thei r toll.

SENI;OR LIVING SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

Step Eight:

Safeguard your own mental and physical health.

The stars are shocking: More than onefourth of American adults care for an aging parent, relative or spouse. Three-fourths of American adults with disabilities or chronic illnesses who stay at home depend solely on family and friends. (Sou.rce: AARP and the. Family Caregiver Alliance.) With little help, no training and scant information, no wonder between 40 and 70 percent of caregivers eventually show some signs of depression.

Boomer caregivers must be continually aware of how much they can and cannot do, Spitler says. Pushing oneselfbeyond what's reasonable and practical isn't helpful; it's a disaster waiti.ng to happen. "You can't avoid the need to rest and reenergize," he says. "If you exhaust yourself, then you're no good to anyone."

TIP; "Some parents will expect their caregiver child to be available to them all of the time," Spitler adds. "You need to be clear about that being irnpossible."Meanwhile, local Agencies on Aging (866-243-5678) can offer counseling and supportive services, and BenefitsCheckUp.org can identify financial help.

Step Nine:

Continue to allow your elderly parent some degree of ownership and control for as long as possible.

At one family meeting, one sibling suggested saving money by reducing their mother's cable TV lineup. She was only watching a small handful of programs anyway, so why not eliminate a couple of tiers? But Mom spoke up: "I like having all of those channels. 1 like skimming through them, even though each one may keep my attention for only a few minutes. 1 don't want a cheaper package." Luckily, no one argued. After hearing her dear word choices, "1 like" and "I don't want," everyone nodded. ''After ali," her daughter shrugged later, "it's her money. As long as she's still able to tell us what she wants, we have an obligation to let her spend it as she sees fit."

TfP: "Until a parent reaches the point of being unable to make decisions, he or she should still be making some," Spitler says. "Your role as caregiver child is to be influential and as s erti ve, yet sensi rive. Th at's di fficulr, but necessary; otherwise, the parent will not get what he or she needs mosr +enduring respect for an entire life's worth of knowledge and experience.t' a

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Not Horne Alone

For seniors who prefer to age in place by remaining in their ~wn home~indefinitely, some kin~. of assistance with bathmg, groommg, laundry, housekeeping, arid/or meal preparation will eventually be required.

"TIle. family is where everything starts," explains Mike Schroth, director and owner of Visiting Angels Home Care on Cincinnati's west side (three additional Visiting Angels offices cover the Cincinnati USA area) .. "Many adult children initially want to handle such things on their own. But over time, it becomes far more complex than anything they can reasonably take on."

That's when they call an agency, where help ranges from weekly one-hour visits to 24-hour care. «We write up a specific plan based on individual needs," Schroth says. "What's critical for one senior won't be for another,"

A trusting relationship, however, with written logs and regular phone calls to keep adult children informed, is essential in every case, he adds; it's also one of home care's greatest perks: "We become the family's eyes and ears for those times when they can't be there. Also, we provide regular companionship, so vital to any person living alone."

In one case an elderly woman was not sleeping well; she habitually got up in the middle of the night to wander around the house. Her children were frantic. What if she stumbled and fell? Enlisting an agency associate whose personal circumstance-s allowed her to stay

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overnight-with a baby monitor positioned near her bed-meant instant peace of mind for everyone.

People are surprised to learn that overnights are fairly common, says Mike Garfunkel, administrator and owner of Family Bridges Home Care in Reading. As parents age, their sleep habits can become reversed, with more rest taking place during the day than at night.

Rotating shifts are also common, with high degrees of customization, "We try to work out strategic times," says Cay Matayko Stout, founder and president of Parent Care Solutions in Madeira. "If a parent is an early riser, one caregiver may go in from 8 am till noon, get her up, showered and dressed, then fix breakfast and then make lunch, and put it in the fridge for later. Another person arrives at 5 pm, prepares dinner, does dishes and laundry and makes certain she's safely in bed. You're looking at 40 to 50 hours a week, a structure that works well for a lot of families."

A caregiver's goal is to help individuals stay safely within their homes and help with most requests, as long as it's non-medical and noninvasive. No catheters, for example; for those, a nurse is required. "We can make arrangements for you with a skilled care agency, where health insurance or Medicare may even pick up tbe tab," Garfunkel says.

Some agencies, such as Parent Care Solutions and Home Care By Black Stone, are one-stop shopping and employ their own nurses, therapists and care advisors.

"There are so many options for care that it is important for us to provide as many different types of in-home care as possible," says

David Tramontana, CEO of Home Care by Black Stone. "That way as a clients' needs evolve over time, they can remain with one home care provider. We see that families really appreciate that, especially if loved ones live out of town." Black Stone staff members will also work with families to explore all payment options, including Medicare, Medicaid, personal health insurance and "private» payinvestigating eligibility and enrollments is not something a boomer child needs to handle alone.

In cases where escalated care becomes necessary, a live-in aide might make sense, especially if providing room and board saves money. Movement to an extended-care facility usually takes place when illness or infirmity is more than a caregiver or nurse can handle, or perhaps when the cost of 24-hoUI care exceeds that of a facility. Once again, Tramontana says, everything is decided on a case-by-case basis. "Every situation," he says, "is unique."

Still, basic home care can be the ideal solution for even an extended time; in fact, it may be all that's needed. A woman in her mid-60s first broke her ankle and then was diagnosed with cancer. After completing both rehabilitation and chemotherapy; she called Visiting Angels. Did she need several daily hours of assistance? No, she was still too young and active for that. AIl she wanted, she said, was for someone to show up once each week after she'd returned from the grocery store-to help haul the bags up 20 steps to her kitchen.

A small request with a huge payoff, and many added years of soul-satisfying independence. "For most people," says Cay Matayko Stout, "there is no greater end -of-life value than this.".

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SENIOR LIVING I JULY 2010 I CINCINNATI I 93

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First specialized Alzheimer's disease and dementia center in the United States; provides assisted living, nursing care, short-term respite a nd adult day services.

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TYPE OF FACILITY: Skilled Nursing, Rehabilitation 50 TOTAL UNITS: Five one-storv homes with 10 elders each.

Private suites, a spacious great room with a h earth area, open ai ry space wi t h Large wi ndews, beautiful patio, a residential kitchen, fam il y din in g area, a sale nf spa an d a den. Five one-story homes with 10 elders each.The people living in each house make their own decisions about daily living and schedules.

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TYPE OF FACIL.ITY: Skilled Nursing, Rehabilitation 50 rors L UNITS: Five on e-story homes with 1 0 elders each.

Private suites, a spacious great room with a hearth area, open airy space with large windows, beautiful patio, a residential kitchen, family dining area, a salon/spa and a den. Five one-story homes with 10 elders each. The people living in each house make their own decisions about daily Living and schedules. Opening late summer 2010.

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Private suites, a spacious great room 'with a hearth area, open airy space with large windows, beautiful patio, a residential kitchen, family dining area, a salon/spa and a den. Five one-story homes with 10 elders each.The people living in each house make their own decisions about daily Living and schedules.

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94 I CIN CINNAT I I JU LY 2010 I SENIOR LIVING

SENIO'R LIVING SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

One- and two-bedroom apartments available wi th fully equipped kitchens, washers and dryers. Residents enjoy many amenities including fi tn ess center, coc ktail bar an d chef-p repared meals in the dining room.

BARRINGTON OF OAKLEY INDEPENDENT AND ASSISTED UV!ING

4855 Babson Place' Cincinnati, OH 45227 I 513·500·4667 I www.carespring.com

TYPE OF FACILITY: Ind. and Asst. Liv. Apts, 105 TOTAL UNITS: 105 lnd. + Asst. liv. ApIS.

Eight floor plans available in this new community. All apar rrnenrs have fully equipped kitchens, washers, dryers and more. Many amenities including fitness center, cocktail bar, movie theatre an d spa.

BARRINGTON OF WEST CHESTER INDEPEN· DENT AND ASSISTED LIVING

72 22 He ritag es pri ng D rrve , We st Ch es te r, 0 H 45069 I 513· 777 ·4457 I www.carespring.com TYPE OF FACILITY: Ind. and ASSI. Liv. Apts,

10S TOTAL UNITS; 1 05 Ind. + Asst. Uv. AplS.

Eight floor plans available in this new community. All apartmenrn have fully equipped kitchens, washers, dryers and more. NIany amenities including fitness center, cocktail bar, movie theatre an d spa.

BERKELEY SQUARE, A COLONIAL COMMUNITY

100 Berkeley Drive' Hamilton, OH 45013 , 513·856·8600 I www.colonialseniors .. orq TYPE OF FACILITY: Continuing Care Retirement Community

2.31 TOTAL UNITS: 148 Ind. Liv. I 25 Asst. Liv. I 64 Nurs. Beds

AVERAGE AGE: 78

PERCENT OCCUPIED: 92%

TOTAL STAFF: 163

Recently received a CMS Five-Star Rating and ranked in the top 1 percent of Ohio by an ODA 2007 Resident Satisfaction Survey. The 65-acre campus features five stocked lakes, indoor swimming pool and wellness facility, an intergeneratio nal lice nsed ki n d ergarten, restaurants and shops.

BRIDGEWAY POINTE ASSISTED LIVING

165 W. Galbraith Road I Cincinnati, OH 45216 , 513·418·4370 I bridgewaypointe.org

TYPE OF FACILITY: Asst. Liv., Respite & Memory Care

102 TOTAL UNITS

AVERAGE AGE: Varies; includes adults 01 all ages PERCENT OCCUPIED: Varies

TOTAL STAFF: 78

Attached to Drake Center. Provides on-site collaboration with residents, families, experts and state-of-the-art therapies. Secured memoryccare area, The Harbor, was recently awarded "Excellence in Care Dementia Program of Distinction" by the Alzheimer's Foundation of America,

BROOKWOODRETIIREMENT COMMUNITY 12100 Reed Hartman Hwy. I Cincinnati, OH 45241 I 51 H05"2000 I www.hcmg.com TYPE OF FACILITY: Continuing Care Retirement Community

227 TOTAL UNITS: 40 Ind. Liv. 1 54 Asst. Liv. 1133 Nurs. Beds

PERCENT OCCUPIED: 95% TOTAL STAFF: 200

A full- service eo n ti n ui ng care f ac ili ty. Nu rsing, assisted living and i ridependen t Iiv] ng services ava Jab le .. Features indoor/outdoor pool, tennis court, walking patb and elegant dining room.

CEDA~R VILLAGE

5467 Cedar Village Drive I Mason, OH 45040 I 513·754·31.00 I www.cedalVillage.org

TYPE OF FACILITY: Ind. & Asst. Liv., Rehabilitation after h ospita Ii zati on, Drivi ng Asse ssm en t Pro 9 fa m, Cedar Village Home Care, Cedar Village Louis and Doro th ea Gi n be rg C omf crt Care Prog ra m

267 TOTAL UNITS; 105 Ind. Liv. and As5!. Liv.! 162 Nurs. Beds-Health Care Facility

AVERAGE AGE: 87

PERCENT OCCUPIED: 100% Ind. Liv. And Asst. Llv. Units; 95% Nurs. Beds·Health Care Facility

TOTAL STAFF: 323

Full- time pastoral care, including both Reform and 0 rthodox rabb is. Will con nect res iden ts with their own community clergy and worship services. Full range of daily activities such as fitness, lectures and discussion, adult education, music and theater discussion groups and speakers events. Many amenities on campus.

CLOVERNOOKHEALTHCARE PAVILION

7025 Clovemook Ave. , Cincinnati, OH 45231 , 513·605·4000 I www.hcmg.com

TYPE OF FACILITY: Nursing

127 TOTAL UNITS: 127 Nurs. Beds AVERAGE AGE: All ages

PERCENT OCCUP1EO: 90%+ TOTAL STAFF: 180

An outstanding facility with a warm environment and a caring staff. Includes a highlytrained team sp ecinlizing ill wound care and a superior therapy department.

COTTINGHAM RETIREMENT COMMUNITY 3995 Cottingham Drive I Cincinnati, OH 45241 I 513·563·3600 I www.coninghamretirementcom· munity.com

TYPE OF FACILITY: Continuum Care Retirement Community

213 TOTAL UNITS: 121 Ind. Liv. I 92 Asst. Liv. I 60 Nurs. Beds

AVERAGE AGE: 85

PERCENT OCCUPIED: 98%

TOTAL STAFF: 150

Locally owned by Deaconess Long-Term Care Inc., a not-for-profit organization. Offers an indoor swimming pool, beauty salon, branch bank, library and also PT, OT and speech therapies.

ENJOYTHE GOOD LIFE AT BERKELEY SQYARE

Imagine an evening stroll down a quiet, tree-lined street to your beautiful custom home nestled within a private neighborhood. Imagine retirement at Berkeley Square!

Berkeley Square, located in Hamilton, Ohio, understands that today's retiring adults want more options, more space, and more amenities-all in one place. Take your choice from a variety of spacious homes, apartments, or custom-designed plans to meet your particular needs. You']] enjoy the independence and privacy, yet appreciate the maintenance-free living and peace of mind Berkeley Square offers.

PREMIUM AMENITIES AT A BETIER VALUE

Residents also enjoy complimentary memberships to our private restaurant and wellness center, a value of $500/year. Plus, they take advantage of a variety of activities and amenities, including:

• Gourmet dinners and happy hours at the Coach House Tavern & Grille

• Yoga classes, water aerobics, and more fitness options at the Bever WeUness Center

• Activities with children through our intergenerational Colonial Schools

• Trips to Keeneland, Riverbend, Hollywood Casino, Playhouse in the Park, and more

Yet, you may be surprised to learn Berkeley Square is one of the most affordable communities in the greater Cincinnati area. With homes starting at just $85,000, and monthly fees starting at $940-you'1l find security for the future at an incredible value.

RETIREMENT FAC.ILlTY DIRECTORY

THE COURTYARD AT SEASONS

7100 Dearwester Drive I Cincinnati, OH 45236 / 513"984"9400 / www.s!?niorlifestyle.com

TYPE OF FACILITY; Continuum of Care

128 TOTAL UNITS;. 83 Asst. Liv.l45 Nurs. Beds Continuum of care retirement community on campus with Seasons in Kenwood. Choose from a wide array oflifestylc options. Designed for those who wantcompanionship and amenities with a hospitality-centered staff and a stimulating environment.

DEUPREE HOUSE

3939 :Erie Ave. / Cincinnati, OH 45208 I Contact Gini Tarr, 51'3-561-4200 / www.DeupreeHouse.com

TYPE OF FACILITY; Continuous Cafe 162 TOTAL UNITS

PERCENT OCCUPIED: 90%

TOTAL STAFF; 60

Winner of the prestigious SAGE "Best in Show' award for the finest retirement community campus in the country. A premier retirement community bordering Hyde Park offering first-class amenities and services provided by an incredible staff Features Deupree Cottages, a new alternative to traditional nursing care.

EASTG.ATESPRING OF CINCINNATI HEALTH CARE CENTER & REHABILITATION

4400 Glen Este·Witham,ville Road I

Cincinnati, OH 45245 1 513·752-37101 wwwcarespring.com

TYPE OF FACILITY; Skilled Nursing & Rehabilitation 189 TOTAL UN ITS: 189 Nurs, Beds

AVERAGE AGE; 78

PERCENT OCCUPIED; Varies

TOTAL STA.FF: 235

A beautifully appointed facility specializing in rehabilita tive and skilled nursing care. Modern amenities include Starbucks Coffee shop, cable television and wireless Internet access.

EVERGREEN/WELLSPRI NG RETIREMENT COMMUNITY

230 W. Galbraith Road 1 Cincinnati, OH 45215 1 513-948-2308/ www.seniorlifestyle.com

TYPE OF FACILITY; Retirement Community-Ind. llv., Asst. Liv., Nurs. Care, Memory Care, Rehab 395 TOTAL UNITS; 150 Apts, I 42 Cottages I 133 Asst. liv I 70 Nurs. Beds

AVERAGE AGE; 85

PERCENT OCCUPIED; 94%

TOTAL STAFF; 340

Co n ti n ui ng c are co m m uni ty th at fea tures golf, walking trails, fine dining and entertainment. Cottages and apts. offer features such as fireplaces and patios; rehab, nursing and memo.!), care also available.

FAIRFIELD PAVILION

5251 Dixie Highway 1 Fairfield, OH 45014/ 513·599·4600/ www.lairfieldpavilion.com

TYPE DF FACILITY; Continuing Care Retirement Community, Ind. and Assl. Liv., Nurs. Care, Memory Impairment Unit

116 TOTAL UNITS; 116 Ind. Liv and Asst. Liv. Ap15.

9& I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010 I SENIOR LIVING

AVERAGE AGE.: 79 PERCENT OCCUPIED; 95%

TOTAL STAFF: 345 (includes Tri-County Extended Care)

A blended community of independent- and assistcd-living residents. Structured to personalize services to meet the need S 0 f resi d en ts at all levels of care.

FLORENCE PARK CARE CENTER

6975 Burlington Pike 1 Florence,. KY 41042 1 859·525-0007 / www.florenceparkcarecenter.com TYP,E D F FACILITY: Ski II€{! and In term ed iats N ursin 9 1 SO TOTAL UNITS: 150 Nurs. Beds

TOTAL STAfF: 200

Provides 24-hour nursing care including intermediate, skilled care, short-term rehabilitation and respite stays. Physical, occupational and speech therapies arc available,

GARDEN MANOR

6898 Hamilton Middletown Road I Hamilton, OH 45044/513-424·5321 / www.gardenmanorrelirement .. com

TYPE OF FACILITY: Blended Continuing (are Community: Skilled Nurs., lnd. liv., Asst. liv., Respite Care

346 TOTAt UNITS; 105 Ind. And Ass!. Liv. Apts I 241 NUfs. Beds

AVERAGE AGE; 79

PERCENT OCCUPIED; 95%

TOTAL STAfF: 335

All levels of care are provided on a 25-acre campus. Personalized service meets the needs of residents at all level, of care.

GLENDALE PLACE CARE CENTER 779 Glendale-Milford Road 1 Cincinnati, OH 45215 / 513-771·1779 / www.yourcaringplace.com

TYPE OF FACILITY; Skilled Nursing Facility

122 TOTAL UNITS: 34 Private + 44 Semi-Private Nurs. Beds

AVERAGE AGE; 82

PERCENT OCCUPIED; 92%

TOTAL STAfF; 130

Offers exceptional physical, occupational and speech therapy, along with skilled nursing services, long-term care, Alzheimer's/dernentia care, hospice and respite services.

HERITAGE AT MIAMI BLUFFS

1275 Clubhouse Court 1 Maineville, OH 450391 513-677-5001 / www.heritageatmiamibluffs.com TYPE OF fACILITY; Ind. UV.-Adive Adult Community 311 TOTAL UNITS: 371 Ind. Uv. Homes

Just for adults ages 55 or better. Offers an active community lifestyle coupled with a variety of low-maintenance homes. Located along the scenic Little Miami River in Maineville.

HIGHLANDSP.RIN.G OF FT. THOMAS HEALTH CARE CENTER & REHABILITATION

960 Highland Ave. / Fort Thomas, KY 41075 / 859·572·0660/ www.carespring.com

TYPE OF FACILITY; Skilled & Intermediate Nursin9', Rehabilitation

SENIO:R LIVING SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

140 TOTAL UNITS; 140 Nurs, Beds AVERAGE AGE; 80

PERCENT OCCUPIED: Varies TOTAL STAFF; 220

A beautifully appointed fucility specializing in rehabilitative and skilled nursing care. Modern amenities include Starbuck> Coffee shop, cable television and wireless Internet access.

HILLSPRING HEALTH CARE CENTER, REHABILITATION & ASSISTED LIVING 32'5 E. Central Ave. / Springboro, OH 45066 / 937·748·1100 1 www.carespring.com

TYPE OF FACILITY.; Skilled & Intermediate Nur5i~9', Rehabilitation, Asst. Liv.

125 TOTAL UNITS; 6 Asst. liv. I 119 Nurs. Beds AVERAGE AGE; BO

PERCENT OCCUPIED; Var.ies

TOTAL STAfF: 162

A beautifully appointed fitcility specializing in rehabilitative and skilled nursing care. Modern amenities include ice cream parlor, cable television and wireless Internet access.

HVDEPARK HEALTH CENTER

4001 Rosslyn Drive 1 Cincinnati, OH 452091 513·272·0600 / www.hydeparkhealthcentercom TYPE OF FACILITY; Senior Care Retirement Community

2.26 TOTAL UNITS; 42 Asst. Liv. / 170 NUTS. Beds AVERAG E AGE: 80s

PERCENT OCCUPIED; 97%

TOTAL STAFF: 300

Pets allowed; chapel and chaplaincy program; elegant dining; skilled rehabilitation; skilled nursing; assisted -Living apartments; specialized demential Alzheimer's assisted-living apartments and nursing-care private rooms; assisted-living guest respite suite.

INDIANSPRING OF OAKLEY TRANS.ITlONAl CARE CENTER

4900 Babson Place / Cincinnati, OH 45227 / 888·248·7799/ www.carespring.com

TYPE OF FAC I LlTY; Ski II ed N u r;i ng an dRehabil itati 0 n 144 TOTAL UNITS; 75 Private Rooms

New, one-of-a-kind transitional care center. Am eni ti es in cl ude S tarbu cks, Integra ti ve Medicine Suite, patios with fireplaces. Retail space on lower level houses outstanding medical prac ti tioners.

THE KNOLLS OF OXFORD

672 7 Contreras Road / Oxford, OH 45056 / 513·524·7990/ www.knoHsofoxlord.org TYPE OF FACILITY: Continuing Care Retirement Community

184 TOTAL UNITS: 94 Cottages / 28 Asst. Uv. / 62 Nurs. Beds

AVERAGE AGE: 78

PERCENT OCCUPIED; 96%

TOTAL STAFF: 150

Nonprofit community on an a5-acre campus located near Miami University. Vibrant activity schedule and affiliation with college offers unique opportunities in retirement.

We're Open!

It is tim to visit Cincinnati newest Active Senior Living Community

S h dule a tour and visit OUT b autiful models browse all fiv of our delightful r taurants, learn abou our community spe ial vents meet our profe sional staff and find out just how easy it is to become a resident of the tratford at Kenwood.

Spacious Apartment Homes featuring: • Independent Living

• istcd Living

• Memory upport

• Skilled ur ing

Call today to schedule your personal visit.

513-561-9300

www.stratfordatkenwood.com

RETIREMENT FAC.ILlTY DIRECTORY

LLANFAIR RETIREMENT COMMUNITY 1701 Llanfair Ave. I Cincinnati, OH 45224 I 51H81-4230 I www.oprs.org

TYPE OF FACILITY: Continuing Care Retirement Community, Ind. and Asst. Liv., Skilled Nurs .. Rshabilitation. Dementia Care

240 TOTAL UN.ITS:. 1 08 Ind. Liv. , 56 Asst. Liv. I 76 Nurs. Beds

AVERAGE AGE: 85

PERCENT OCCUPIED: 90%

TOTAL STAFF: 210

Built on 14 acres in historic College Hill, Llanfair, a Masterpiece Li'ling Community, is known for relaxed living in the heart of the city. Minutes away from shopping, banking, medical services, churches and entertain rnent,

THE LODGE RETIREMENT COMMUNITY 9370 Union Cemetery Road I

Loveland, OH 45140 I 51 HJ7.4900 I www.lodgecarecenter.com

TYPE OF FACILITY: SNF, Hospice Care, Rehabilitalion, Intermediate Care, Secured Dementia Unit, Asst. Li ving & Ind. L ivi n g, Res p i te

334 TOTAL UNITS: 152 Ind. liv. I 60 Asst. liv, 1120 Nurs. Beds

AVERAGE AGE: 72

PERCENT OCCUP.IED: 98%

TOTAL STAFF: 326

Stare-of-the-art rehabilitation and skilled nursing facility. Secured Dementia unit. Excellent staff-to-resident ratio. Studio apartments, cottages, one- and two-bedroom apartments.

LOVELAND HEALTH CARE

501 N. Second { Loveland, OH 45140 { 51).605·6000 I www.hcmg.com

TYPE OF FACILITY: Nursin9'

99 TOTAL UNITS: 99 Nurs_ Beds AVERAGE AGE: 80

PERCENT OCCUPIED: 94% TOTAL STA.FF: 150

Recently renovated nursing-care facility specializing in rehabilitation and behavioral care. Well-trained staff will structure care to meet your individual needs.

M.APLE KNOLL VILLAGE

11100 Springfield Pike I Cincinnati, OH 452461 513·782·2717 I www.mapleknoll.org

TYPE OF FACILITY: Continuing Care Retirement Community

525 TOTAL UNITS: 149 Villas 1130 Apts.! 60 Asst. liv I 186 Nurs. Beds

AVERAGE AGE: 85

PERCENT OCCUPIED: 90%

TOTAL STAFF: 300

Nonprofit community located on an updated, 54-acre campus filled with lots of green spaces. Vibrant activity schedule; located near major thoroughfares! a ttrac tic ns.

MARJORIE P.LEE RETIREMENT COMMUNITY

3550 Shaw Ave. I Cincinnati, OH 45208 I Contact: Kim Silver, 513"533"5000 I www.marjorieplee.com

98 I CINCINNATI I JULY 2010 I SENIOR LIVING

TYPE OF FACILITY: Continuous Care 180 TOTAL UNITS

PERCENT OCCUPIED: 97%

TOTAL STAFF: 190

Wal.king distance to Hyde Park Square .. It's about living on your terms at all levels of care. Features a new dining room, event center, physical therapy suite and pool.

MERCY CO.MMUNITY AT WINTON WOODS 10290 Mill Road I Cincinnati, OH 45231 I 513·825·9300 I www.e·mercy.comfseniorliving TYPE OF FACILITY: Residential·living apartments for income-qualifying seniors.

73 TOTAL UNITS: 73 Res. Liv.

AVERAGE AGE: 75

PERCENT OCCUPIED: 95%+

TOTAL STAFF: 2

On beautiful grounds, in a former seminary. Residents enjoy a peaceful community surrounded by stained-glass windows, tree-filled views and friends. Seniors qualify with restricted income.

MERCY FRANCISCAN AT SCHRODER

1302 Millville Ave. f Ham ilion, OH 45013 { 513·867·4100 I www.e·mercy.com/seniorliving TYPE OF FACILITY: Continuum of Care-Ind. Cottages, Residential Care, NSG, Skilled, Rehabilitation 135 TOTAL UNITS: 50 Residential I 85 Nurs_ Beds pi us 26 Coltage s

AVERAGE AGE: 87

PERCENT OCCUPIED: Varies

TOTAL STAFF: 150

A strong member of the Hamilton and Fairfield community. Offers cottages, apts, and excellence in rehabilitation services. The great roo m is the pe rfect setti ng for inn ova live daily activities.

MERCY FRANCISCAN AT WEST PARK

2950 West Park Drive I Cincinnati, OH 45238 I 513·451-8900 I www.e·mercy.comlseniorliving TYPE OF FACILITY: Continuum of Care-Residential Care, NSG, Skilled, Rehabilitation

326 TOTAL UNITS: 226 Residential (are f 100 Nurs. Beds

AVERAGE AGE: 87

PERCENT OCCUPIED: Varies

TOTAL STAFF: 280

Known for its strong community reputation. Many residents and staff have called West Park home for 10-20 years.

MERCY FRANCISCAN TERRACE

100 Compton Road I Cincinnati, OH 45215 I 513· 761·9036 I www.e·mercy.comfseniorliving TYPE OF FACILITY: Continuum of Care-Residen· tial Care, NSG. Skilled. Rehabilitation

164 TOTAL UNITS: 40 Residential Care I 124 Nurs, Beds

AVERAGE AGE: 82

PERCENT OCCUPIED: Varies

TOTAL STAfF: 172

A beautiful, historic community located on the grounds of the St. Clare convent.

SENIO'R LIVING SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

MERCY ST. THERESA

701 0 Rowa~ Hill Drive I Cincinnati, OH 45227 I 513·271-7010 I www .. e·mercy.comfseniorliving TYPE OF FACILITY: Continuum of Care-Residential Care, NSG, Skilled, Rehabilitation

174 TOTAL UNITS: 72 Residential Care 1 100 Nurs. Beds

AVERAGE AGE: 84

PERCENT OCCUPIED: Varies

lOTAt STAFF: 185

Off Miami Road in Mariemont with an amazing view of the city. Offers apartments and rehabili cation services in a peaceful environrnent.

MOUNT PLEASANT RET.lREMENT VILLAGE 225 Britton Lane I Monroe, OH 45050 I 513·539·7391 I www.mtpleasant.oprs.org

TYPE OF FACILITY: Continuing Care Retirement Community; Ind., Ass!. Liv., Rehabilitation Services 418 TOTAL UNITS: 246 Ind. Uv_ 1 53 Asst. Liv. 1119 Nurs. Beds

AVERAGE AGE: 76

PERCENT OCCUPIED: 98%

TOTAL STAFF: Over 350

Located in a beautiful setting dose to shopping and medical services. The campus offers over 156 unique homes and numerous living options. Activities are abundant and the wave factor is lugh.

OTTERBEIN LEBANON RETIREMENT LIVING COMMUNITY

585 N. State Route 741 f Lebanon, OH 45036 I 513-933·5471 or 877-93B471 I www.otterbein.org

TYPE OF FACILITY: Continuing Care Retirement Community

701 TOTAL UNITS: 401 Ind. Uv. , 50 Asst. Living f 256 Nnrs, Beds

PERCENT OCCUPIED: 86% TOTAL STAFF: 555

One- to three-bedroom homes with amenities such as activity programs, chapel, clinic, bank, library, emergency call system and transportation. Independent and assisted living, shortterm rehab stays, memory care and skilled nursing. Future site of the Warren County Arts and Culture Center.

PINEBROOK RETIREMENT LIVING 5877 Wolfpen-Ple~sant Hill Road I Milford, OH 45150 I 51H31-5222 I www.pinebrookliving.com

TYPE OF FACILITY: Independent Living with services 125 TOTAL UNITS: Independent Living suites/studio, one- and two-bedroom.

AVERAGE AGE: 78

PERCENT OCCUPIED: 60%

TOTAL STAFF: 52

Independent-living retirement community offers studio, one- and two-bedroom suites with numerous amenities and services.