Focus Issue: Parenting/Child Development

Coping with Floods

(or other natural disasters)
by Doris Brett, M.A., Clinical Psychologist & Author, Victoria, Australia
with their own needs; reactions, mourning and
re-building that must be done.

Key Words

stress, coping, trauma, fears (of children),

resiliency, disasters (natural), stroytelling
(therapeutic)

Objectives:
As a participant in this guided self-study, family
educators will be able to:
utilize storytelling as a developmentally
appropriate technique for reassuring children,
for helping them cope with fears, and to
inspire hope and empower children who have
experienced a trauma such as a flood or other
natural disaster.
identify the steps or components of an
effective Annie Story.
teach parents and other caregivers to use
storytelling tailored to the needs of the
children in their care.

This Focus Issue is dedicated to all the families

and children in North Dakota, Minnesota, and
Manitoba who have experienced the devastating
effects of the spring 1997 floods.
Natural disasters are catastrophic events for
adults. Imagine then, their impact on children
who are so much more helpless and have far
fewer resources to help them understand what is
happening or to seek out help.
In addition, the adults, who would normally be
available to help children through this
experience, are often extra busy and preoccupied

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As with adults, children find natural disasters

terrifying because their entire world is disrupted
and the events are beyond their control. They are
likely to feel fearful or angry. They may become
more clingy and dependent, not wanting to be
out of sight of a parent. They may refuse to go to
school or childcare for the same reason. They
may regress to babyish ways or withdraw into
inappropriate quietness or depression. They may
develop fears they never had before. They may
become disobedient or act up. All of these ways of
behaving are the childs response to the stress of
the disaster. They are all ways of saying, Im
upset. I need someone to help me through this.
The best ways to help children through this
experience is to make sure you spend time with
them listening to their fears and reassuring
them. This is not to say that you should lie to
them or try to sugarcoat what is obviously a
frightening and real situation. They will sense
that you are covering up and are likely to become
even more worried about what terrible thing it is
that you are hiding.
Speak to them in simple language and tell them
what has happened. Tell them that the situation
is difficult, but that they will be taken care of and
that you will be there for them. Let them know
that difficulties can be overcome and that you
will all work together to do so.
Reassure them that what has happened is not
their fault. Children often believe that their
naughtiness has caused bad things to happen.
They have a tendency to take on guilt for

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situations that adults know are entirely beyond

their control.
Give your child lots of cuddles, reassurance and
familiar routines, like a bedtime story. Try to
take their special toys along with you wherever
youre staying.
Allow them to draw, play or act out their fears
and anger.
Get them to tell you about their dreams. They
will often be having nightmares and together you
can figure out ways that they can turn those
nightmares around with dream magic. (For more
detail on how to do this, see Annie Stories, by
Doris Brett, Workman Publishing, New York,
1988.)
Dont try to tell them that they shouldnt be
upset. They are mourning a number of losses and
it is natural and indeed healthy for them to be
able to feel and express those feelings. Its
important to recognize their emotions, to let
them know that you understand, and that you
have felt the same yourself, but that you also
know that with time, these emotions will become
less intense and that they will be able to feel
happy again. They will often need to repeat their
concerns over and over and need your repeated
reassurance about their safety.
If they have particular fears, such as what would
they do if floodwaters came into their house
unexpectedly at night, rehearse safety
procedures with them. They will be feeling more
vulnerable to any attack on their security and
may develop fears about burglars, boogey-men,
etc. Provide them with some sort of safety device,
even if it is a magical one, like the magic torch
in this Annie Story. (For more detail on how to
help children cope with fears of night-time
monsters, see More Annie Stories, by Doris
Brett, Brunner-Mazel Publishing, New York,
1992.)
Try to allow them to help in some way. Or to take
part in family discussions, on how to cut back on
costs for example. This will help them feel more
in control and less helpless.
Remember that this disaster provides a very
important learning opportunity for children it
enables them to see how people can live through

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and resolve enormous difficulties, support each

other and come out the other side intact and
perhaps even stronger. This kind of learning will
stand them in good stead for the rest of their
lives.
If their distress seems very severe or is not
getting better over time, seek professional help.
Similarly for yourself. You need to look after
yourself as well and sometimes its easy to forget
that.

Helping Children Through

Annie Stories
Sometimes children cant talk to you about their
distress. They may not have the words or
concepts to express themselves easily. They may
be shy about admitting what they are feeling, or
embarrassed, guilty or ashamed. If you try to
talk to them about it man to man, they may
switch off children dont usually respond well
to this approach. How then to talk to them about
their fears and problems? How can we get
through to them, let them know we understand
and offer them ways of dealing with their fears
and finding comfort and strength?
Stories are a wonderful answer. All over the
world, children switch off at lectures, but switch
on for story time. Annie Stories are therapeutic
stories, which help children feel better and cope
better with their fears and problems. The hero or
heroine in an Annie Story is a little girl or boy
just like your child. They are worried about the
same things and have the same problems to deal
with. In the story, the hero or heroine finds ways
of coping with and resolving these troubling
issues.
As your child listens to the story, he or she is able
to identify with the hero/heroine. There is safety
in the story its like the my friend John has a
problem technique that we adults often use
when we want to find out information on a
problem thats embarrassing for us to admit
having ourselves. So your child is free to listen
and to learn without having to feel embarrassed
or guilty or too uncomfortable.
Telling your children a story about children with
feelings just like theirs helps them realize that
they are not freaks for feeling like this, that
other kids have been through this too. This is

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very reassuring for them. It also lets them know

that you, too, understand their feelings always
an immensely comforting experience.

than they are in this story, add some detail to it

that echoes your own and your childrens
experience.

Telling a story also provides a way of

communicating with your children. If you are
unsure of how they are feeling, you can ask
them, And what do you think, Annie (or
whatever the name of your story hero/heroine is),
was most worried about? The answer they give
you will reflect directly on their own fears.
Children can be very forthcoming about the
feelings and fears of story characters even while
they may clam up completely when asked about
their own.

There are footnotes posted throughout the story

so that you can understand why particular
things are mentioned and what issues are
important ones. These all help you to make up
your own story or modify the existing one. The
ending of the story is always a positive one. It is
important to give children hope that there is a
way of dealing with these troubling issues and
emotions and that they will be able to feel strong
and happy again.

Telling a story to a child also creates a net of

intimacy and warmth that is comforting for the
parent as well as for the child. Its very hard for
us as parents when we see that our children are
troubled and we dont know how to get through
to them or how to help them. It helps us as
parents to know that there is a simple, natural
and age-old technique children love and are
comforted by, that we can offer them.

In Annie Stories: A Special Kind of

Storytelling (Workman, 1986) and More Annie
Stories: Therapeutic Storytelling (BrunnerMazel, 1992), Doris Brett has written Annie
Stories to address many different situations,
from the first day of school to fear of monsters, to
loss of a loved one.

You will note that we have included illustrations

of several different children (both girls and boys)
in this Annie Story. As you tell or read the story
to your children, change the names and
situations to suit their own. If your child is a boy,
for instance, youll want to change Annies name
to a boys name that is similar to your childs but
not exactly the same. If money problems, for
instance, are a greater focus in your situation

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Annies Story
O

by Doris Brett 1997

nce upon a time there was a little girl called Annie. She lived
with her mom and dad in a white, wooden house in a small
town near the banks of a big river.1

Annie loved her house. She had lived there all her life. She had her own
room, with her own bed and a cupboard full of Annie things her
favorite jeans and dresses, her games, her books and her special toys.
Some of the extra-special toys got to sit on Annies bed, where they were
always there to say hello to her in the morning when she woke, and
goodnight to her in the evening when she went to
sleep.
One day when Annie came down to breakfast, her
mom and dad were talking with each other in very
worried voices.
Whats wrong? said Annie immediately.2 She
didnt like it when her parents talked like that. It
always meant something bad was happening. And
Annie was always worried that it was about her.3
Her father pointed at the newspaper spread in front of him. There are
flood warnings in the paper, darling. Theres been a lot of extra rain lately
and the rivers have too much water in them. Theyre rising way up over
their banks and the water is coming into towns and farms.
What about our river? said Annie instantly. Is our river going to rise?
Well, said her mom, they say that it will. They think its going to flow
over its banks and through our houses.4
What will we do? said Annie. She was beginning to feel frightened.
Well, said her dad, were going to pack bags with sand and pile them
up by the rivers edge to see if that can stop the river from overflowing.
Can I help? said Annie. She knew she would feel better if she were
doing something to help.

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Sure you can, said her mom. All the neighbors will be there.5 Well all be
working together.
Annie helped her mom and dad pack sandbags. Her mom was right. Everyone
was there, all working together. It was nice to see everyone, even people who
didnt know each other very well, working together as a team.6
They worked and worked, packed sandbag after
sandbag. But still the river kept rising. Finally, Annies
father said. Its no good. The river is rising too fast.
Were going to have to leave our house for a while. It
wont be safe here while the flood water is high. Well go
to Aunt Jennys place. Its safe there.7
But I dont want to leave here, said Annie.
I know you dont, said her dad. We dont either, but we
have to because it wont be safe here.
Maybe it will be like an adventure, said her mom. You know like in your
storybooks about kids who get shipwrecked on islands and things. We can
pretend were the heroes in one of your storybooks and were on an adventure.
Okay said Annie. That might even be exciting, she thought. She knew that
heroes often had to do things they didnt want to do and escape from dangerous
situations. That was part of being a hero.8
Well lets go into the kitchen first, said Annies mom. We have to make some
hero sandwiches to take with us. You can help me make them. Then well go to
your room and Ill help you pack some things to take with us.
Annie hated packing. She wanted to take everything with her,
but her mom said there simply wasnt room. Annie didnt want
to leave any of her toys behind, but she had to. Annie felt very
bad about that. Sometimes being a hero wasnt fun.9
All of Annies friends were packing to leave too. Annie didnt
have much time, but she managed to say good-bye to some of
them. They were all going to nearby towns like Annie was and
her mom and dad said she would still be able to see them and
talk to them, so that felt good.

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When they were all settled in at Aunt Jennys house, Annie watched pictures of
the flood on TV. She didnt recognize her little town. The streets were filled
with water. Water was rising up to the windows of the houses. The playground
where Annie used to play was completely under water. Everything looked
different and dangerous. Annie felt very scared and very sad.
What would happen if the flood waters came here? she asked her mom. What
if the river rose up suddenly one night when we were all asleep? We could all get
drowned.10
I know thats a very scary thought, darling, said her mom. But it wouldnt
happen like that. We would get a little bit of warning, like we did this time, so we
could prepare. But if youre really worried, we can make you a special
Emergency Pack that you can keep under your bed and that will make you feel
safer.11
Id like that, said Annie. What will we put in the Emergency Pack?
We can put some water-wings, so that you could float your way to our
room. And a big whistle so that you could whistle for help and we
would hear you. And a torch (flashlight) thats a very special magic torch.
A magic torch! said Annie. What does it do?
Well, said her mom, as well as giving you light, it
also scares monsters away. I know that sometimes at
night when you wake up, you get scared of monsters.
Well now, all you have to do is shine the torch around
and any monsters would be terrified and run away.12
That sounds great, said Annie. I like my Emergency
Pack. I think Ill feel safer at night now.
Annie didnt like staying at Aunt Jennys. She wanted to go home. She wished
the flood had never happened. Her mom and dad were busy and worried all the
time. They didnt have as much time for Annie as they used to.13 Sometimes
Annie worried that the flood had come because she had been a bad girl and
done something wrong.14 Sometimes she felt very angry and wanted to kick
something. Sometimes she felt very sad and wanted to cry. Sometimes she felt
very quiet and didnt want to do anything at all. All of the time she missed her
house and her bed and her toys and the way things were. She wanted to go
home.15

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One day Annies mom came in and found Annie crying.

Whats wrong darling? she said, and gave Annie a
hug.
Im scared the flood came because I was bad, said
Annie. She had been too scared to tell anyone that
before.
Her mom listened carefully. Sweetheart, she said, I
never realized you thought that. The flood wasnt your
fault, it wasnt anyones fault. Sometimes things
happen that you cant control.16
I hate that, said Annie. I hate it that things happen that you cant control.
That means you cant do anything about them. They can stop you doing things
and you cant do anything about them at all. I hate that!
Well you know Annie, said her mom settling down on
the floor beside her and putting her arm around her.
Sometimes its not as bad as all that. Its true that big
things can happen that we cant control, but that doesnt
mean that we cant do anything at all.
Do you remember that story I read you once about some
children who go on a sailing adventure?
Yes, said Annie. She had really liked that story.
Well, said her mom, on a sailboat, you depend on the wind to take you
wherever youre going. Sometimes though, the wind isnt blowing in the
direction you want to go and you cant control the wind.
Oh, said Annie, does that mean that you cant go there then?
No, said her mom. You know what sailors do? They change the direction of
their sails to catch whatever wind there is and that means they can go a little bit
sideways and then a little bit forward and then a little bit sideways and then a
little bit forward. It still gets them where they want to go but it just takes a bit
longer. Its called `tacking into the wind. Sometimes the wind isnt blowing at
all and so the sailors just wait. They know that sooner or later the wind will
start up again.

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So even though they cant make the wind do what they want, they can still use
it to get places? asked Annie.
Thats right, said her mom, it just might take them longer.
Or they might go the long way around and visit different places along the way,
said Annie. She liked visiting different places. She thought maybe she would be
a sailor when she grew up. It was nice to know that you could still get to places
you wanted to go to even though you couldnt control everything.17
Tell me, said Annies mom. Is there anything we can
do to help you feel better?18
Well, said Annie, I get scared a lot. Im scared
somethings going to happen to me.
Its been a really scary time. said her mom. I think weve all been scared. And
cross and grumpy and hard to talk to at times. Its not your fault. Its nothing
that youve done. Its just that its been a hard time for all of us.19 But you know
were going to take very good care of you.20 Whatever happens, were all together
and well always take care of you and see that youre safe.
Annie felt better to hear that.
And I worry a lot about whats going to happen, she said. Youre always busy
and I feel kind of left out. I feel like Im not important.21
Annies mom gave her a hug. Youre the most important
thing we have, she said. But I can see how youve been
feeling a bit left out. Why dont I make some extra special time
with you each bedtime and we can have that time to catch up
with each other.22 And soon well be moving back into our old
house and therell be lots and lots of cleaning to do and you
can be a big help with that. We also have to talk about how to
save money. Why dont we have a family meeting and we can
all give our ideas and see what we can do?23
Id like that, said Annie. It felt good to be able to do something.
The next day, Annies dad said to her, Were going to drive back to our old
house to have a look at it and see what needs to be done. Do you want to come?

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Sure! said Annie. She was really excited at seeing her old house again.
When they saw the house though, Annie was really upset. It looked terrible.
There was mud everywhere. Furniture was missing or broken. A lot of Annies
things were gone. Everything was dirty and horrible. Annie cried and cried.24
Annie could see that her parents were upset too.
I feel really sad seeing our house like this, said her mom.
Weve lost so many things, said her dad. He looked shocked and
angry.
Will we be able to clean it up? asked Annie.
Yes, said her mom, but it will take an awful lot of work and I
dont think we can get things to look exactly the same as they did before.
Annie felt awful. She wanted things to be exactly the same as before.
One day Annie was walking in the woods near Aunt Jennys
house. They were moving back to their old house the next
day. Annie really wanted to move back to her old home but
she also felt scared. She didnt want to see all the dirt and
mud and broken things that were left over from the flood.
She thought that maybe when she was back in her old house,
she would miss her toys and clothes and all the things she
had lost even more than before. She sat down next to a big
old tree and started to cry.
Are you all right, little girl? asked a big deep voice.
Annie jumped up in shock. She looked around her. No one was there. But the
voice came again. Are you all right, little girl? It sounded like a nice friendly
voice.
Where are you? said Annie. She still couldnt see anyone.
Im here, said the voice. Right next to you.
But theres no one next to me, said Annie. Only a tree.

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Thats me, said the voice, a little crossly. And maybe you could leave out the
only. Trees are very important beings you know.
Oh, said Annie, feeling a little embarrassed. Im sorry, I didnt mean to
offend you, Mr. Tree. Its just that...well...Its just that I never knew trees could
talk.
Not many people do know that, said the tree. There just arent that many
humans that we decide to talk to.
Oh, said Annie. She felt very honored that a tree had
decided to talk to her.
So what were you crying about? asked the tree. You
looked like you were very sad.
Well, said Annie, Ive lost all my things. And she told
the tree all about the flood.
The tree listened quietly and waited until Annie had finished. Yes, it said,
Id heard about that big flood. Some of my cousins were in it. Trees that live in
your town. They sent some birds out to tell us what was happening.
The tree was silent for a moment. Its branches swished gently in the breeze as
if it was thinking.
So youve lost all your things, it said sympathetically. I know what that feels
like.
Annie was puzzled. But how could you? she asked. You dont have any things
to lose.
The tree looked at her. Annie was sure that it looked at
her, even though she couldnt see any eyes. Oh little
girl, the tree said, you dont know very much about
trees. Its branches waved again in the breeze. Let me
tell you a story, it said.
Oh good, said Annie. She loved being told stories.
Especially by trees.

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When I was just a baby tree, the tree began, I got my first leaves. I was so
excited. I gave every single one of them a name. We used to talk to each other all
day and sometimes at night when some of them couldnt sleep, wed chat away
then too. It was the loveliest spring and summer. The skies were blue and my
leaves were the loveliest green. They were the loveliest leaves Id ever seen. Then
fall came and the weather began to change their colors. They were beautiful
colors, reds and oranges and yellows. I was very proud of them.
The tree paused. And then one day, a terrible thing happened.
Annie leaned closer to the tree. She found she was holding her breath.
My leaves started to fall off me, said the tree. They fell right off my branches
and onto the ground. I tried to hold onto them, but I couldnt. They just fell off.
And more and more of them kept falling.
Oh, said Annie. She felt upset just thinking about it.
I felt terrible, said the tree. I didnt know what was
happening. And all the big trees were busy saying goodbye to their own leaves. They didnt have time for me.
Annie gave the tree a hug. Oh, she said. You must
have felt so sad.
I did, said the tree. And thank you for the hug. That
was very nice.
Well, it continued, I was really, really sad. And upset. And angry. I felt like
that all winter. And then one day, I felt this really strange feeling. It was kind of
like a tingling, like a kind of buzzy feeling all along my branches. I was scared. I
didnt know what was happening. I started to cry. And then one of the big trees
heard me.
Annie nodded. Yes, she said. What happened then?
I told the big tree what was happening and how scared I was and how sad Id
been to lose my leaves. The big tree leaned closer to me and said, Oh, you poor
little tree. Didnt anyone tell you that we lose our leaves every fall? And then we
get them back every spring. Thats what the tingly feeling is. Its the new leaves
growing back.

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I was so excited, said the tree. So you mean Ill get all my leaves back? I
asked the big tree. They wont be exactly the same leaves, said the big tree,
theyll be new leaves. Your old leaves are already doing different jobs. Theyre
helping the ground grow plants and keeping the soil nice and rich.
Annies tree continued. But I want my old leaves, I said to the big tree. I
know its hard to say good-bye to things, said the big tree, but we trees have to.
If you only had your old leaves, you could never grow any bigger. You have a
whole lot of leaves that youre going to meet in your lifetime as a tree. And each
leaf will be special in a different way. And if you only kept the old leaves, you
could never meet the new leaves.
So you mean nothing will stay the same? I said to the big tree. Well, said the
big tree, `leaves dont stay the same. But some things do. Our roots stay the
same. And even though our branches change and our trunks grow bigger, the
inside of us stays the same. And well all still be here, all the other trees, your
friends and family.
I felt better to know that, said the tree to Annie. And as I
got bigger I found that that happens to a lot of us. Snakes
have to lose their skins, so they can grow new ones.
Animals lose their beautiful winter furcoats so they can
grow cooler summer ones. I learned that you cant grow
bigger without changing. And you know what else I
learned? Even though its scary to change, lots of good
things happen. Like, I can see heaps more as a big tree than
I could as a little tree. It makes the forest much more
interesting.25
Gosh, said Annie. I never thought of things that
way. She liked the trees story. It made her feel better
just thinking about it. Humans dont have leaves,
she said thoughtfully. But maybe my toys and clothes
are like your leaves. And our roots must be our family
and our friends. And Ive still got those. And whats
inside us is still us, even though the outside of us might
change or grow bigger, just like you.26
Thats right, said the tree.

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Thats exactly right. Are your cousins all right? she said, suddenly
remembering that her tree had said it had cousins in her town.
Yes, said the tree. Theyre all right. A bit muddy. But theyre all right.
Maybe I could help clean them up when I go home? said Annie. Ill have a lot
of cleaning up to do anyway.
Thats very nice of said the tree when it was suddenly interrupted.
A great booming voice said, Cleaning up? Did I hear someone say cleaning
up?
Annie looked around in surprise. The voice seemed to be coming from very high
up. There was a very, very tall tree next to hers. Could it be...?
I see Ill have to lower my voice, said the neighboring tree. And suddenly the
voice was coming from much lower down in the very tall trees trunk.
I can tell you about cleaning up, said the very tall tree. One summer a few
years back, we had a forest fire. It was terrible. Went right through the forest.
Yes, I remember that, said Annies tree.
Everything was black. Our leaves were burned, our trunks were black, our
branches were broken. There was no grass left, no flowers. All the animals had
run away. Everywhere you looked, it was a mess. We thought nothing would ever
come back again.
But by the next Spring, the tall tree said, you
wouldnt believe it. Our leaves came through. The
birds and animals came back. The flowers popped
up and the grass grew back.
Yes, said Annies tree excitedly. It was incredible.
And look at it now, said the tall tree. You could never tell we had a fire at all.
Annie looked around. It was true. Everything looked lush and green and
wonderful. You would never believe it had once looked burned and black and
dead.

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Do you know, said Annies tree, that we have some relations in a far, far off
country on the other side of the world. Theyre trees that live in Australia, where
it gets very hot in summer and there are lots of forest fires. Those trees have even
found ways to let the forest fires help them grow stronger and plant their seeds
properly so that the new trees grow up healthy and strong. Theyve made the
forest fires their friends.27
Annie was amazed. She felt excited thinking of all the things the trees had told
her. Thank you, she said to both of the trees. Thank you so much.
She ran back to Aunt Jennys place. She felt so much happier.
It took a lot of work to move back into Annies old
house. There was so much cleaning to do. Annie felt
very tired sometimes. And sometimes she would feel as
if it would never be all right again. But then she
remembered the trees stories and she would feel better.
She thought of the lovely green forest that had once
been burnt all black and she knew her home would be
lovely again. She told her mother the story.
Thank you for telling me that story, said Annies mom. It makes me feel
better too, to think of that...sometimes I get sad and angry too. But now Ill be
able to think of the trees stories.
One day Annie was down visiting the trees cousins. She had helped clean the
mud off them after the flood and had become friends with them. She was just
chatting to one of the trees when she heard a faint crying sound.
She looked around. On a branch near her, a butterfly had just emerged from its
cocoon. It was crying piteously and tiny butterfly tears were dripping from its
eyes.
Whats wrong? asked Annie, bending down closer to it.
Everything said the butterfly. Ive lost everything. Ive lost all my legs and
my lovely furry skin and my warm cozy home where I was so safe. Ive lost
everything.
Oh, butterfly, said Annie. I know just how you feel. Let me tell you a story.

2001
Family Information Services

ISSN 1042-0878
Minneapolis, MN (800) 852-8112

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And she told the butterfly the story of the flood and
the trees and how her house was looking better all the
time and how she was happy again and playing with
her friends. And, she said, I have some extra special
news for you.
You have? said the butterfly, looking surprised.
Yes, said Annie. You see, youre not a caterpillar
anymore. Youve become a butterfly, and that means
youre beautiful. Youre one of the most beautiful things
around. And you can fly!
I can fly? squeaked the butterfly, Ive always wanted to fly, but I was sure I
never could.
Well, you couldnt when you were a caterpillar, said Annie. But now that
youre a butterfly, you can. Why dont you give it a try?
Oh, Im so excited! said the butterfly. Can I really fly?
Yes, said Annie. Go on, flap your wings and try.
The butterfly flapped its wings a little and suddenly took off
into the air. It shrieked with delight. Thank you! Thank
you! it said to Annie, as it circled over her head. Ill always
remember this! I love being a butterfly!28
Annie smiled as she ran home. She smiled all the way home.

The End

This handout is part of 2001, FIS Parent/Child Development Focus Issue, From Doris Brett, M.A.,
Victoria, Australia. Reprint permission granted exclusively to members of Family Information Services.

2001
Family Information Services

ISSN 1042-0878
Minneapolis, MN (800) 852-8112

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Footnotes for Annies Story

by Doris Brett
1.

Change the name and other details to suit

your childs situation. Make the name of the
hero/heroine one that is similar to your
childs name, but not identical.

2.

Children are very good at picking up on

when something is wrong in the family.

3.

Children often worry that they are the cause

of parents anxieties or bad moods.

4.

Tell children the truth. Theres no point in

lying about a situation you will lose your
credibility and your childs trust.

5.

Allowing the child to assist lets her feel

stronger and less helpless in the face of
threat.

6.

This sense of community spirit and

solidarity can be a very positive and
comforting experience.

7.

Reassure your children that you will take

care of their safety.

8.

Children will recognize this truth, as indeed

will adults.

9.

Its important to recognize your childrens

feelings of loss and anger. Just telling
children to be brave denies them the
opportunity to express the distressing
emotions they are likely to be feeling.

10. Children are likely to remain concerned for

their safety long after the danger is over.
11. This helps them feel stronger and more in
control.
12. If the dangers are imaginary, magical
creatures like monsters, then imaginary,
magical weapons work very well. Theres no
point in telling children that their monsters
arent real. Their monsters are as real to
them as muggers on a darkened street are to
you.*
13. Often parents are so busy with their own
emotions and the multitude of practical
issues after a disaster that they have less
time than usual for the children.
14. Often children will worry that their badness
or naughty behavior somehow caused the
disaster.
2001
Family Information Services

15. All of these feelings are typical of those

experienced by children in the wake of a
natural disaster.
16. Its important to let children know it wasnt
their fault.
17. This story is a helpful way of giving children
a new perspective on this issue.
18. This is always a useful question to ask
children.
19. Its helpful to acknowledge that you have
been reacting to the losses too.
20. Make sure you let children know that even
though you may be stressed, you will
continue to take care of them and ensure
their safety.
21. Children often feel left out in the chaos and
busyness that accompany a natural disaster.
22. Putting aside some special time each day
just to be with your children is enormously
helpful.
23. Letting your children feel they have a
helpful role to play allows them to feel
stronger and less helpless.
24. The sight of the ruined home or town can be
enormously distressing for everyone. Its
important to recognize and acknowledge
these feelings.
25. This story offers a different and
strengthening perspective on the issues of
loss and growth.
26. This allows Annie to recognize that she has
not lost the truly important things in her life
her family and friends.
27. This story allows Annie to see a way in
which disasters can even inspire growth.
28. This allows Annie to use her experience to
help others something that helps her feel
even stronger and more competent.
Source: Family Information Services,
Minneapolis, MN. Phone: (800) 852-8112 or
website: www.familyinfoserv.com
By Doris Brett, MA, Clinical Psychologist and author of
Annie Stories and More Annie Stories: Therapeutic
Storytelling Techniques, 56 Almond Street, Caulfield
3162, Victoria, Australia 1997

ISSN 1042-0878
Minneapolis, MN (800) 852-8112

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