The Selfless Leader
The Selfless Leader
The Selfless Leader
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Intro
R. Scott Rodin
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Intro.
Take a moment to think about the different leaders youve had in your life. Bosses.
Pastors. Parents. Presidents. Even just people who assume a leadership role in your
friend group.
Some of them you probably remember for all the wrong reasons. They were
manipulative or demanding. Some of them may have been uncommunicative or,
honestly, just not very good at their job. We all have those stories.
But every now and then, youll find youre following a good leader. Its a little harder to
define just what makes them good, but you know theres a difference. Youre better at
your job. You trust them to handle responsibilities. You feel empowered to do what you
do well.
This gets to the heart of the question were trying to answer here. What makes a truly
good leader?
There are certainly a number of qualities that every gifted leader must have, but one
thing that is common to all great leaders throughout history is something desperately
lacking in our culture today: selflessness.
It is our collective experience that the greatest leaders we have known all have had this
quality of selflessness, not as something they learned through study but as part of their
character and worldview.
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Mark L. Vincent
I had a mentor and a long time seminary professor by the name of Marcus Smucker
who took issue with the word selfless. He thought it an inappropriate word for a
Christian to use. Actually, it was not so much the word that troubled him as it was how
the word was deployed.
The distinction Marcus wanted us to make was that there is a difference between not
knowing who you are and extensive self-examination. Using selflessness as an excuse to
never consider who you are at all opens the door to self-abuse, abuse at the hands of
others, and worse, twisting others around abusive demands. Marcus had met and
worked with scores of people caught up in this type of abuse, often using selflessness
as a way to spiritualize the harm they were enabling. They saw it as a virtue rather than
the toxic behavior that it was.
Extensive self-examination does not mean self-centeredness. Rather, it is a deep
pilgrimage into understanding ones boundaries and capacities to serve others, learning
which part of ones self to set aside and which to carry forwardknocking the barnacles
off, so to speakin order to live in loving service to God and neighbor.
This means the leader needs to develop an understanding of love languages and basic
temperament, perhaps through the use of personality tests like the Enneagram,
Strengths-Finders, Colby, or Meyers-Briggs. Also, working with a therapist, an executive
coach or spiritual director, or joining a peer-based advising team, spending time in
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silent retreat or gathering a clearing committee would be beneficial. This is not merely
to gain self-insight. Self-examination as the beginning and end of the journey is selfish.
Instead, it is to use acquired insight to heighten ones capacity to serve.
The inward journey to understand self is turned toward service and focused outwardas
if it is a rubber band stretched before being propelled across the room to its destination.
Think of it as grace received so that grace can be offered. Understand it as calling
clarified so that it can be recognized and clarified in others. Practice it as being present
with and accepting ones self in order to have cultivated the skill to be present with
others.
Selfish is distracted and elsewhere. Selfish has something better to do.
Self-less (self-aware) is present in the moment. The moment the self is in is
precious in its own right.
A Picture of Selflessness
High on my list of important mentors comes Bill Klopfenstein, a retired insurance
executive in the congregation my family attended. Consistently, throughout my
teenage years, Bill placed his hands on my shoulders, looked me in the eye from a few
inches away, and reminded me that he prayed for me every morning at his breakfast
table. God has his hand on your life, he would say. I hope you will listen. Those
words from him filled up the well of my life, setting a course where I came to
understand that my life was not my own.
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Bill Klopfenstein is the picture in my minds eye whenever I read about Barzillai (2
Samuel 17:27-29; 1 Kings 2:7). Barzillai was an influential tribal leader who played host
to King David when Davids son Absalom turned traitor and David and his entourage
had to flee Jerusalem. Barzillai gathered sustenance and supplies and rushed to provide
for his exiled king. Barzillai was leader and follower because he knew who he was.
There are so many richer and fuller portraits of historical figures and Bible characters I
could draw on to paint what a selfless leader looks like, but Barzillai calls to me
profoundlya leader who does not self protect when matters are urgent, even dire, but
moves decisively to do what can be done, playing whatever role is needed, secure in who
he or she is without worry over title, receiving credit for ones accomplishments, being
shown deference or coming out on top.
Barzillais actions are caught up in the words of Jesus when he talks about who is great
in his kingdom. Whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and
whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. (Mark 10:43,44 ESV)
Jesus goes on to say that he too intends to live this example. Even the Son of Man came
not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many. (Mark 10:45 ESV)
Knowing Yourself
I am privileged to have enjoyed more than thirty years of marriage to my wife, Lorie. I
learn from her more than any other influence in my life. For more than half of our
marriage she has battled a rare form of cancer which she has turned into a pulpit from
which to care about and influence others.
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She is as quick as anyone Ive ever known to grasp reality and accept limitation. She
knows who she is and presses it into service that has changed medical procedures,
encouraged medical professionals, and strengthened the resolve of others who face
prolonged suffering, all while being wife, mother, business owner and now
grandmother. Half of her life is spent gathering strength before or after medical
procedures, and still she outpaces most everyone else I know. It is not because she has
boundless energy. She doesnt. Rather, it is because she is in profound touch with who
and what she is so that it enhances rather than impedes her service to others. She is the
very embodiment of less becoming more.
I could go on listing the examples of self-aware leaders who pressed themselves into
service for others and have taught me how to serve others. Through my years as a
husband, father, business owner and pastorand as one who loves leaders into their
steward othersthese people have added to the tensile strength of my own rubber band.
They have stretched me taut with self-understanding so that I am launched yet again
into increased capacity to serve, and so that others will learn to do the same.
In the stretching that self-awareness requires, Ive learned a great deal about who I am
individuallymy own profound limitations as well as unique strengths. Writing about
them belongs in my journal not on these pages. What is useful to record here is what
Ive learned about being a selfless leader in general.
To do that, Im going to divide my lessons into two categories: assumptions and posture.
It is a mistake to think that if you put these to work you automatically become a selfless
and self-aware leader. Instead, understand these as the fruit of becoming a selfless
leader or, at least, understanding what one is.
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Assumptions
First, here are my assumptions. Rather than be so bold as to say you must embrace
these assumptions, I would simply suggest that you consider them as a starting point
for discovering and articulating your own. Knowing your biases (yes, assumptions and
biases are much the same) is a significant tool to help you serve othersincluding the
stranger, the rogue co-worker, the customer from a vastly different culture, even your
enemy. Without self knowledge about your assumptions and the actions that grow
from them, each troubling encounter you face leaves you clueless about how to proceed.
Assumptions are not preferences. I prefer an apple to a banana. I assume I must have a
quality diet that includes fruit.
Neither are assumptions unchangeable. They should be constantly refined as we put
them to use, test them and then refine them. For instance, I once assumed a sincere
apology brought forgiveness and a chance to try again. While this may work in my
prayers to God, it does not always work with humans. Many people are quite
comfortable holding grudges. I had to stop expecting that forgiveness would be offered
to me when I blew it. I had to revise my assumption about relating to others in order to
be able to move on when forgiveness did not come.
Assumptions are foundational. They are the bedrock of my worldview. They give shape
to my responses and next actions if I am conscious of them and put them to use. They
come after much refinement, frequent revisitation and careful, multiple uses. I would
not have arrived at them without deliberate work to develop self-awareness so I could
live a life that is less self-centered.
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myself as completely as possible so I may serve God as well as possible for the benefit of
as many as possible. This constitutes a lifelong act of worship that is never finished.
Posture
Posture is different than assumptions. Ive subjected countless people to the
conversation about the heart posture of the Christian, a posture I believe must be
exemplified in heroic, world-shaping leaders whether they have embraced Christian
faith or not. It is the posture of living on ones knees with raised arms.
This posture is necessary for one who claims the assumptions outlined above. Without
this life and heart posture people would think they are superior to others for having
figured some things out. They would take pride in being self-aware in the face of the
ignorance of others, which is a high irony. Imagine taking pride in knowing about ones
ignorance while others languish in it! Its like awarding oneself a gold medal for being
the fastest slow person in a foot-race.
This posture of the steward leader, a self aware, selfless servant of otherswhether
personally or organizationally assumedis a posture of:
Giving and Receiving. In front of God, giving and receiving are indistinguishable. In
this posture I can receive from God and I can share from what is currently in my
possession.
Supplication. From my knees with raised arms, I plead my case to God. I no longer
make demands.
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I began this chapter pointing to many example of selfless leaders I have known. And
yet, truthfully, I believe there are fewer and fewer new ones. I believe it to be a
significant and disastrous decline.
Why is this? Is it because those leaders who mentored me are shrouded in myth and I
view them through rose-colored glasses? I would like to think that is not the case.
Rather, it is because fewer people take the time to become self-aware, and that those
who do seek it do so as an end in and of itself. So many leaders point to what they built,
and what they accumulated under their watch, and what they were able to take with
them when they left, rather than pushing proteges to the front with the managed
expectation that those proteges are also developing others.
We have too many Herods and far too few John the Baptists. It is a ghastly contrast
John the Baptist loses his head for uncompromisingly telling the truth, while Herod is
consumed by worms for having claimed the glory that belongs to God. And yet how
true it is. This life ends tragically and surrounded by grief. All I can do is construct or
destroy its meaning and legacy.
Self-awareness in order to live selflessly makes all the difference.
A steward of peer-executive advising teams, and a lifelong student and
practitioner of organizational development and leadership, Mark L.
Vincent is CEO of Design Group International, a consulting firm
committed to process and client-centeredness. Among other works, Mark
wrote: Fighting Disease, Not Death: Finding a way through lifelong
suffering with his wife Lorie. He resides near Kohler, Wisconsin.
Learn more about Mark here: www.designgroupinternational.com
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So, the selfless leader stands out in a group of leaders because he or she is so Christ-like.
All leaders of Christ-centered churches and ministries are Christ followers, but not all
would be considered selfless.
It takes more than talking the selfless leader talk. It means walking the selfless leader
walk. A selfless leader is one that models grace and humility day in and day out.
Selfless leadership may be apparent in big decisions that occasionally come along. But
it is in the routine matters where selfless leaders really shineshowing grace-in-action.
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This phenomenon is not limited to the ministry world. In Joseph A. Maciariellos book
A Year With Peter Drucker, a biography of the famed management expert in the title,
Maciariello notes that Peter Drucker had great hopes for business executives in the
United States. These hopes gradually faded as he saw one scandal after another and as
he found leaders to be self-serving. [5]
The most compelling leaders lead and keep their trust when they start with a proper
view of themselves. By embracing this essential humility, leaders will not only
influence and lead, but will transform the lives of those around them, reproducing
leadership in others. This essence is what C.S. Lewis would have referred to as
mereness. [6]
In todays kingdom of leadership, there are several varieties but two main breedsthe
ambitious creatures that baptize themselves as leaders and the unambitious servants
who quietly lead the flock. These faithful servants respond to the call of the trumpet.
They serve because of need, not because they covet conquest or attention. [7]
The most effective leaders are likely to be individuals who have no desire whatsoever to
lead or be out front, but are compelled to lead by their times, circumstances, calling or
characterleaders like Moses, George Washington, William Wilberforce, Alexander
Solzhenitsyn, Martin Luther King Jr., and Mother Teresa of Calcutta.
Good to Great author Jim Collins says research showed that great leaders check their
egos at the door and replace them with an interest in their followers and the
organization. Compared to high-profile leaders with big personalities who make
headlines and become celebrities, the good-to-great leaders seem to have come from
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Mars. Self-effacing, quiet, reserved, even shythese leaders are a paradoxical blend of
personal humility and professional will. They are more like Lincoln and Socrates than
Patton or Caesar. [8]
Collins shies away from calling them selfless lest they be confused with being weak or
mild. They are seemingly ordinary people quietly producing extraordinary
results. [9]
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2. Dont take yourself too seriously. At ECFA, we serve nearly 2,000 Christ-centered
churches and ministries that serve on the front lines. Day-in, day-out, we must take our
mission very seriously. The care with which we handle our work can directly impact
one of the ministries we serve.
Conversely, we must not take ourselves too seriously. We laugh with each otherand,
yes, at times, at each other, but in a good-natured way. My staff knows they can laugh at
me and there will be no repercussions. It is a matter of discerning when to be serious
and when it is OK to lighten up.
3. Accept the blameeven when it is not your fault. A good leader does not throw
staff under the bus when the going gets tough. There is always the human temptation to
assess blame. The selfless leader takes responsibility for his or her actions and the
actions of staff, setting the example for the entire ministry.
One of our vice presidents reminded me of the time she sent a mass email to our
members and far beyond. In the body of the text, she included the name of a certain
high-profile evangelical leader, but the reference should have been to another person. I
took responsibility for the mistake, contacting the high profile-leader whose name
should not have been used and personally apologized for the error. I had forgotten the
incident, but my vice president remembered it like it was yesterday.
Through the lens of Scripture, selfless leadership is simply about more of Christ and less
of us. We must be in second placenot elbowing our way to the front. Christ set the
example with the Father: He must become greater; I must become less (John 3:30).
The less it is all about us, the better others are served.
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Selfless leaders get out of Gods way so that His Spirit works through them. Want
this trait in your life? Practice the inward disciplines of Bible reading, prayer,
fasting, and meditation. Let God take care of the rest. [10]
Selfless leadership is inconspicuous, yet not sacrificing anything in the way of
convictionenabling us to live out Micah's vision of acting justly, loving mercy,
and walking humbly before God and others.
[1] J. Oswald Sanders, Spiritual Leadership (Chicago, Il: Moody Bible Institute of Chicago), 2007, 13.
[2] Mark 10:43-44
[3] David Sirota, Douglas Klein, David Russo, How to Have the Best Employees, a collection (Upper Salle River,
New Jersey: FT Press), 2014.
[4] Joseph Badaracco, Leading Quietly: An Unorthodox Guide to Doing the Right Thing (Boston: Harvard
Business School Press, 2002), 1-2.
[5] Joseph A. Maciariello, A Year with Peter Drucker (New York, NY: HarperCollins), 3.
[6] Les T. Csorba, Trust: The One Thing That Makes or Breaks a Leader (Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson),
28.
[7] Gary Wills, Certain Trumpets: The Call of Leaders (New York, NY: Touchstone), 1994.
[8] Jim Collins, Good to Great (New York, NY: HarperCollins Publishers), 2001, 12-13.
[9] Ibid, p. 36.
[10] Gary G. Hoag, R. Scott Rodin, Wesley K. Willmer, The Choice (Winchester, Va: ECFAPress), 2014, 54-62.
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Perhaps the hardest place to decrease is in the influence and the power we hold
over people and decisions. For this reason we find Christian leaders who are
overly directive at best, and autocratic at worst. And as a result we produce
churches and ministries that are rife with learned helplessness. By
overestimating our own worth, we help our people depend on us for everything.
And that dependence feeds into our need to be needed, to be the idea person
and visionary, and to be in control. We tell ourselves that the more we lead in
this way, the more our leadership is valued and our presence desired. Of course,
this is not real leadership, but a counterfeit that gives us our increase and
expands our kingdom. It also, however, does a terrible disservice to our people,
leaving them uninvolved and under-developed. It wastes resources and limits
our ministry, all under the guise of strong leadership and the use of our Godgiven talents for getting things done. [1]
This is why the first step to becoming a self-less leader is to acknowledge our self-more
tendencies. And further, to identify the places in our current leadership style where
they have taken root.
2. Become a Steward.
The second step, I would suggest, is embracing a stewards view of our leadership role.
The alternative is to lead as if we owned our position, our organization, our people and
our strategies. This may sound harsh, but take time to examine your attitudes toward
these things and see if there isnt some vestige of an owners approach to each. Owner
leaders are self-more leaders. They have to be because they tie their self-worth to their
jobs and seek self-affirmation through vocational success. When we pretend to be
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owners, we return to the original sin in Eden and grasp at an alien ownership that will
only serve to put us in bondage. As Christian leaders we must never forget that
ownership and bondage are inseparable. But just as inseparable are stewardship and
freedom. That is the choice set before us every moment we choose to serve as a leader. If
we believe we own our employees, our clients, our facilities, our students, our inventory
or our profits, we will serve as leaders in absolute bondage. With that bondage comes
fear, anxiety, relentless pressure, discouragement and despair.
The selfless leader must make it a daily discipline to refuse the temptation to
ownership and assume with joy and privilege the mantle of the godly steward in every
area of his or her life. As followers of Jesus, we know our only true identity is in Christ
alone. This sets us free to be steward leaders.
This is a mindset and practice I always found hard to live out, but whenever I did I
experienced real freedom. On a particularly challenging day during my seminary
presidency, I was approached by a wise friend and board member who encouraged me
to wear the mantle of the presidency lightly. I knew he was right, but the battle to
carry it out was fierce.
I have been blessed over the years by the poignant words poured out in the form of
leadership prayers by Richard Kriegbaum. In his leadership prayer on ownership he
writes, This is my one incessant prayer to you, hour by hour, day by day; Its yours. I
am not fighting this battle for you, God. Its your battle, and you are fighting it for me.
It is all yours and I want whatever you have for me in this situation. He ends his
prayer with, So this day is yours; I am yours; these people are yours; the resources are
yours. The challenges we face are yours, as is everything we hope to accomplish. Its
yours, God. Its not mine. [2]
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I once prayed that God would change the people under me so they would be easier to
lead. What He taught me was that He wanted to change me so that I might become a
more humble, faithful and obedient follower of Christ, and through that change people
will be drawn to Christ through me. That, I believe, is how a selfless leader is shaped.
We are surrounded by self-more leaders. Even in our churches and Christian ministries
we find systems and structures that actually reward this self-more style. In our culture
it is very difficult to be self-less in positions of leadership, influence and authority. Yet
that is our calling and highest privilege. As I said at the outset, this is a faith journey. It
requires us to surrender ourselves fully to Christ, and in His presence allow the Holy
Spirit to clean us of our self-more ways. As we find our identity in Him and seek deeper
fellowship in Him as the true owner, we can know the joy of the leader who has been set
free to lead for Christ. It is these humble, repentant, obedient and self-less leaders that
God will continue to use in the most powerful ways to lead His people for His glory.
May we be counted among these faithful followers.
[1] Rodin, R. Scott. The Steward Leader. (Downers Grove: IVP, 2010), p.
[2] Kriegbaum. Richard. Leadership Prayers. (Wheaton: Tyndale House, 1999), pp. 6-7.
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How can we avoid doing this? There are three practices that we can, and should,
take great care to incorporate into our personal lives.
1. Self-Awareness
The first step to achieve selfless leadership is self-awareness. This is not as easy as it
seems. Self-awareness is defined as one understanding his or her strengths, weaknesses,
thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and calling. Self-awareness includes an understanding of
what drives you. A second very significant part of self-awareness involves
understanding other people, how you are perceived, and how to respond to other
people.
Much of this goes back to Socrates words know thyself, which was the basis of his
philosophy. However, Socrates valued not only intellectual self-examination but also
being in touch with ones feelings. Self-examination and emotional awareness are
inextricably connected and always needed to be in balance. Self-awareness is a
continual journey and is always evolving. This is done as one is in relationship with
other people, not in self-absorption and isolation.
2. Active Listening
The second step is that of active listening. I have found the wisdom of God in some of
the most unlikely places and people, but its not always easy. It requires a selfemptying of ones preconceived thoughts and ideas on how a mission is to be
accomplished. Active listening requires humility with the desire to always be learning.
Many times I have found it helpful to write the points of the conversation on paper as a
person is talking. Not only does that bring value to the person speaking, but also I have
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often gone back and found gems in what had been written that I perhaps could have
missed otherwise.
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hymnbook. The second was a well-worn Bible. The third a book by Henri Nouwen
called How to Love in a Fearful Land. The pastor had grabbed these three items as he
fled with his family from his home to seek refuge in the bush, running from rebel
attacks and eventually making it to a refugee camp. The scene of that day has been
emblazoned in my mind forever. It became another example of the driving force of my
leadership in which the purpose became greater than myself.
Personally, the overall purpose of my leadership is actually to follow Jesus. Specifically,
I have been called to a ministry of restorative justice. Much of my work is restoring the
kingdom of God on earth as He has meant it to be.
Perhaps the guiding principle of selfless leadership is that of Jesus as noted in John 13:
12-15, after Jesus had washed the disciples feet.
Do you understand what I have done for you? he asked them. You call me
Teacher and Lord and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord
and Teacher have washed your feet, you also should wash one anothers feet. I
have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.
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Tim Hanifen
I am an average person who works very hard and struggles in his spiritual life,
relationships and this journey of life like everyone else. I am always in awe and
appreciation of others who seem to be so much more spiritually attuned and intimate
with God than I am. But I have been a believer in the triune God my whole life and I
have known their hand upon me guiding, correcting, advising and aiding me in all
circumstances. Some have been dramatic, but most were just life as we all live it. I have
always been active in prayer and the older I get the more prayer becomes simple
conversation and discussion. These conversations with God frame my life. Whether
God answers me with yes, no or wait, I am always given guidance, clarity of thought,
insights and the sense of direction and next actions to take, and that includes my
calling to lead.
I knew from an early age that Gods calling upon my life was to attend a military
academy and become an officer in the service of my country. As a result, God insured I
got the proper education and training to prepare me.
I attended and graduated from the Naval Academy. I became a Marine Officer and
aviator and spent over 35 years learning the profession of arms and growing within the
selfless leadership culture of the United States Marine Corps.
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It is from this perspective that I offer some thoughts regarding Selfless leadership. In
my view, there are two starkly contrasting approaches to team and organizational
leadership.
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accountability and risk? The success of the mission, institution and team are
secondary to the success of the leader. As a result, the self-centered leader is focused on
controlling all team activities. They work to remain in the forefront of recognition and
seek the credit from above. When criticism comes they deflect it to team members
below. Looking good is more important than actually being good or accomplishing the
good. Self-centered leaders produce an exhausting and slavish work environment.
When the mission is over, virtually all credit goes to them and those who served under
them are just happy they have moved on. I have seen that those serving under selfcentered leaders resolve that no matter the cost, they will never work for that leader
again. In the end, self-centered leaders become known for the people they really are.
They leave no lasting, positive accomplishments and those with whom they have served
politely avoid them. When stories are told, these leaders are singled out as searing
examples of what not to do and how not to lead.
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greatly affect helicopter power margins, the safety issue arose again. This time my team
and I dug into the details.
We relentlessly pursued and documented the facts regarding the underpowered nature
of the aircraft and the high probability of aircrew deaths in any single engine
inoperable situation. The more deeply we dug, the more resistance we experienced.
For over a decade, people within the Navy and acquisition community-many who were
now senior officers and acquisition executives, had accepted optimistic data, assumed
best case operating conditions and hoped a fix would be found. Though the risk was
suspected, money had been sunk and many professional reputations were now at stake.
Cancellation of the program was the right and only thing to do. It was not a matter of if
engine failures would occur but when. When it happened, the helicopter would crash
into the water and the aircrews would be killed within seconds. As we dug deeper into
the data and resistance mounted, I spent a significant amount of time in thought,
prayer and conversation with the Lord. I also discussed my concerns with my deputy, a
Navy Admiral and one of the finest leaders and partners with whom I have ever had the
pleasure to serve.
After examining the facts, the Admiral and I resolved that continuation or cancellation
of the program and helicopter re-missioning were decisions only the Chief of Naval
Operations (CNO)-the Service Chief of the Navy, could make. We were determined to
insure the case would reach him for decision-no matter the cost. As we developed and
coordinated the CNO decision package, we faced increasingly intense pressure and push
back from many people on various Navy and Pentagon acquisition staffs. On several
occasions we were approached privately and publically and had confrontational
meetings with many who were trying to dissuade us from taking the information and
cancellation recommendation to the CNO. Attacks were made upon the data, our
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motives, our reputations, our knowledge and our professionalism. Our careers and
futures were questioned. Yet we both remained resolved and peaceful. We knew our
facts were in order. Our cause was just. Our internal sense of right action was true.
Therefore, our course was set. Over time the facts garnered the support of several key
and influential senior and peer Admirals on the staff.
When the package finally went forward for the CNOs review and decision, he directed
an independent investigation of the comprehensive staff package, data and facts. The
review included simulator flights by trusted senior aviation officers. None could react
or recover from a single engine failure while towing. Within weeks, the CNO, a selfless
leader himself with the best interests of his fighting Sailors and their families at heart,
permanently cancelled the towing device program and re-missioned the helicopter and
aircrew personnel.
The real understanding I would like you to take from this shared story is that God
moves us all into places and positions where we can choose to do the most good for all
concerned. It is not an accident. Rather, it is the intentional handiwork of Providence
unfolding before you. Dig in, be fact-based, choose to take action and do what is right
and good. Be steadfast in your conviction. Overcome all opposition. As I look back, as
the only Marine General Officer and also a career helicopter pilot on the Navy Staff, I
was probably one of the few leaders without an agenda, and in a position to give it an
independent look and if verified, bring it forward for CNO decision in the face of strong
opposition. Likewise, I think that if you are reading this story then someday you too
will find yourself someplace where God brings you a situation, issue or task that only
you can fix. The only question is What will you choose to do?
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requires courage, which is esteemed as the one human quality that guarantees all the
rest. Courage is often defined as facing danger or risk without fear. However in my
life experience, I believe this definition is absolutely wrong. Instead, the true definition
of courage is facing danger or risk with your fears and doing the right thing anyway.
Courage, acquiescence to evil and cowardice are all individual choices and a leaders
choices determine whether the future ends in victory, stalemate or defeat. Danger, fear
and risk are always personal companions in selfless leadership. When you face them, it
would be good to remember this true definition of courage and the quote by Major
General later President Andrew Jackson, One man with courage, makes a majority.[1]
In contrast, a self-centered leader will always seek to curry favor and avoid any
situation where they risk the displeasure of seniors or go against the rising tide of
popular opinion. They go along to get along with no personal requirement for the
exercise of principle or courage. Unlike self-centered leaders, selfless leaders face doubt,
evil, injustice, fear, apathy or acquiescence by exercising courage and resolve to become
a majority of one. One who stands in the breach and accomplishes needed change. As
such a leader, your steadfast and courageous example will inspire and liberate others to
do likewise.
Model and reward desired behaviors. Selfless leaders understand and accept that they
must be the example and model the behaviors they expect. They must also promptly
recognize, reinforce and reward all those who emulate and reflect their standards. Selfcentered leaders tend to reward only those people and behaviors that they see as adding
to their personal recognition, stature and influence.
Practice trust. Selfless leaders are content with defining and accomplishing the teams
goals. They allow their rising leaders and the team to define the ethical how in
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accomplishing the goal. In doing so, they are demonstrating and practicing trust that
their teams know the leaders intent and will do right accordingly. They provide
oversight and help, holding their teams accountable without micro-managing.
Oppositely, self-centered leaders do not trust their teams. They organize the team and
workflow so as to control or micro-manage all activities. They make themselves the
decision nexus. No action can be taken and nothing can proceed without their
concurrence. They purposefully paralyze progress and actively discourage team
creativity and initiative in order maintain their personal control and credit.
Unbelievable but true!
Invest in transformative relationships. Change the lives of individuals and you
change the destinies of organizations, nations and the future. As a selfless leader, make
time for deeper relationships with juniors, seniors and colleagues alike. You will not
regret it. They will be forever grateful for your time, interest and investment in their
lives, happiness and goals. Relationships bless both ways. Self-centered leaders see
relationships as positioning and access to power centers, as a quid pro quo or simply
another means for achieving their personal goals, recognition, credit and reward.
Selfless leaders, on the other hand, recognize that transformative relationships are the
key to achieving lasting and rewarding change.
Have patient and peaceful expectations. Evil rewards quickly and disproportionately
in order to reinforce and reward bad choices. God blesses and rewards more slowly and
in more meaningful, abundant and lasting ways within the lives of all concerned. Selfcentered leaders have high expectations and are more demanding of immediate and
significant reward. They become impatient and angry when they do not see a rapid
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return on their invested effort. Selfless leaders are patient, peaceful and confident in
the knowledge that doing the good and right thing ultimately wins the day.
Appropriate recognition and rewards always follow in time.
Tim is married to Anne for 20 years and the proud father of three
daughters and grand-father to one grand-son. A 1978 graduate of the
United States Naval Academy, he is currently the Vice President,
Marine Corps Systems with the Boeing Company and a retired Marine
Corps leader, aviator and Major General with 35 years of service.
[1] Jackson, Andrew. One man with courage makes a majority. 4 January 2015. http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/
34843-one-man-with-courage-makes-a-majority
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Leadership is as old as, wellGod Himself. And yet, leadership can happen any time
two people are in a relationship. It happened with Adam and Eve, Noah, Moses, Paul
and Timothy, Joan of Arc, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill,
General Patton, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Mike Ditka, Michael Jordan, Ronald
Reagan, Malala Yousafzai, Barack Obama and the list goes on. Some of these leaders
were good, strong and effective. Some were weak, manipulative and controlling. But
they all led, in one way or another.
Weve all experienced leaders who motivate, irritate, inspire, confuse, resource us, and
maybe even abuse us. We generally assume that a leader has personal desires for
success and the willingness to do what it takes to achieve that success.
But is there a type of leader who motivates for success of a project, in a team concept,
without thought for themselves? In the process of leading, is it possible to bring the
team to a sense of empowerment and personal achievement that enables them to
experience success and personal growth individually and as a team? Can a leader with
this type of team success remain as it were in the shadows?
If so, that would be an example of a self-less leader.
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Looking back over my working life I can identify leaders who were consistently self-less
in their leadership. They not only lead a team to succeed in projects and tasks, but they
enabled me to expand my sense of achievement and increased my desire to accomplish
greater challenges. I sensed that these leaders cared more for me than just using my
services to complete a task. They communicated through word and attitude, goal setting
and affirmation that they truly cared for me. It was evident, though unspoken, that
these leaders were truly interested in preparing me and other team members for greater
responsibilities even with other organizations.
A self-less leader is one who finds great fulfillment in serving those they lead for the
purpose of motivating and resourcing their successful personal growth as they achieve
the goals set for them. As a Christian, I would add that a self-less leader is one who finds
great fulfillment in serving God in ministry to those they lead for the purpose of
motivating and resourcing their successful personal growth as they achieve the goals set
for them.
I have benefitted greatly by this kind of leadership that motivated me to expand my
horizons and aspirations. Additionally, I have become more diligent to give my
attention to greater quality of effort as I attempt greater challenges. All of this has
brought about increased rewards and an expanded appreciation for what can be
achieved if one is willing to take the challenge. Self-less leaders give these opportunities
to those they lead, to those they serve.
No Easy Path
Having experienced the positive effects of this kind of leadership, it is also my desire to
commit self-less leadership with those I have been blessed to lead. As an elected public
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One of those self-less leaders was King David whom God Himself labeled a man after
My heart, who will do all My will. (Acts 13:22) David succeeded greatly in leadership.
David failed greatly in leadership. But Davids heart attitude was always one of
submission to the purposes of God. He was quick to put himself in the hands of God in
humble service for Him. Thats why Acts 13:36 has always appeared to me as the
epitaph of Davids life when it concludes, For David, after he had served the purpose of
God in his own generation, fell asleep I cant think of any better epitaph of a self-less
leader than the fact that before he died he consistently served his people according to
the purposes of God.
Gods purposes followed can only lead to self-less service and leadership. When Gods
purposes become my purpose, people are served.
Another example of self-less leadership comes from the life-shaping attitude of the
Apostle Paul. In Acts 20:24, he shares his motivating commitment for self-less
leadership when he proclaimed, But I do not consider my life of any account as dear to
myself in order that I may finish my course, and the ministry which I received from the
Lord Jesus, to testify solemnly of the gospel of the grace of God. His motivating desire
to empty himself of any personal aspirations, save for completing what God had
charted for him, can only lead to self-less service. That attitude enabled him to call his
followers to Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ. (I Corinthians 11:1) Again,
the focus is on Christ and others. How can this focus lead to anything other than selfless leadership? Lest we forget, Pauls model was the ultimate self-less leader who said of
Himself, For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give
His life a ransom for many." (Mark 10:45)
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Regular Feedback
A second aid to developing self-less leadership is regular evaluation and feedback from
those I lead. I have found great benefit from both direct requests for specific evaluation
and broadly implied permission for my staff to evaluate my positions, plans, and
strategies. Those direct requests for evaluation often take the form of questions like
What do you think? Does this make sense? How do you feel about the situation?
Do you feel resourced? and Did I blow it?
These and similar other requests have been extremely positive for my team members.
Though sometimes humbling for me, and a bit threatening at times for a staff member,
this openness has developed a greater sense of ownership and freedom for my team to
take the responsibility for a project with an enhanced sense of personal and team
reward upon successful completion. It hasnt diminished my leadership in any way
either. Ive had the benefit of positive and creative feedback, and they have been given
release to participate in still greater ways.
Beginning with their first day on the job, and periodically thereafter, I try to assure my
staff that I desire them to give me constructive feedback and criticism. They are told
that my disappointment will only come if they have refrained from expressing their
disagreement and we fail at something that could have been prevented. This broadly
implied permission for them to evaluate me before the fact has benefitted me greatly
even when on occasion I have ultimately continued my planned course.
Self-less leadership doesnt come without risk or challenge. Everything in my human
nature cries out to assert my own authority. My desire for praise is never far from the
surface. But, when I sense a team passionately working together in unison with
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enjoyment, I know self-less leadership is not only worth it, but that there is greater risk
and challenge to lead any other way.
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I grew up as a farm girl doing chores alongside my younger brother, Jeff, and my
parents. I can tell you the value of hard work was rarely lost on me. In an early
childhood memory I recall dreaming of owning a toy stroller for my dolls. When I
asked my parents for it, my dad responded, Cathy, you must earn it. And so I did. I
picked walnuts at five cents a bucket for days. I knew that if I worked hard, if I kept
at those walnuts, one by one, I could succeed. The lessons of ones childhood are
foundational, and to this day I gain inspiration imagining what is possible for those
who persevere. I loved that stroller, and I appreciated it all the more because Id earned
it.
In America we can roll up our sleeves, work hard, and succeed for this is the place
where fulfillment and inspiration can take roots and grow. To this day, I am inspired by
those who are willing to come together to bring an idea to life because the possibilities
are limitless. And I often reflect on those days spent picking walnuts, because they
taught me a lot about life.
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Be Yourself
In December of 2013, I received a phone call during a staff Christmas party in Eastern
Washington. On the other end of that line was a recognizable voice it was the Speaker
of the House. He was asking me to deliver the Republican Response to the State of the
Union.
It was about as unexpected a call as you could imagine.
As the Speaker and I spoke, he offered me words of encouragement, and I took them to
heart. He said to me, Cathy, just be yourself. And I took courage in believing God had
prepared me just as I was for this moment. The words I shared with the American
people that night in January following the Presidents address were centered on our
shared belief in the American Dream. They were about the opportunities of America,
and the opportunities that made it possible for a little girl who grew up on a fruit
orchard in Kettle Falls, Washington to serve in our Congress and work to help people
across Eastern Washington and across the country.
I share this story as one that exemplifies leadership. Just be yourself, like Speaker
Boehner said. Work day in and day out to do your best. Treat others with respect. Being
a leader means recognizing the God-given gifts each and every one of us was born
because every person on this earth has something wonderful to offer. We are each
blessed with certain talents, and I believe we should foster those talents. A true leader
knows not to be something theyre not.
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legislative aide in my Washington D.C. office, and was elected to serve in the House in
2011. It includes Mayor of Spokane, David Condon, who was elected in 2012 and
previously served as my District Director. And it includes Dick Leland, who became a
Spokane District Court Judge in 2013. The impact each of these leaders have had on
communities across Washington state is humbling. Each of them have touched so
many lives, and as we all work to help and to lead the best we can, we remember our
roots, we remain grounded, and we never forget the people who elected us to serve. A
true leader understands their shortfalls as well as their abilities, and works to offer
leadership and humanity all at once.
We all experience difficulties in our daily lives, some are small, some are big, but all
require our attention and our commitment. To me, it is the approach to solving
problems that true leadership is most visible. Credit is not what matters.
Results matter. Humility matters. From my days spent pitching in on the family farm
to the days spent in the halls of Congress, I believe leadership is a mindset and a way of
being. It is not something to be checked off on a list, it is an approach to life itself, and
it is what I work to employ each and every morning.
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