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My Mother
- Nirad C. Chaudhuri

Nirad C. Chaudhuri (1897-1999) was born in Kishoreganj (in

Bangladesh now).And hundred years after, in 1997, his last book
Three Horsemen of the New Apocalypse was published. He was
probably the oldest author then. Interestingly, he wrote his first
English work The Autobiography of an Unknown Indian (1951) at the
age of 53.This book was internationally acclaimed and Churchill
thought it was one of the best books he read. This was followed by
books including 'A Passage to England,' and 'Scholar Extraordinary'; The Life of Max
Muller. He worked as a writer of commentaries for All India Radio. He moved to Oxford at
the age of 57 and decided to permanently settle in England in 1970. He devoted his life in
studying India's relationship with Britain. He was presented with Honorary degree of Doctor
of Letters by Oxford University.
The present lesson is a part of the autobiography of Nirad C. Choudhuri. It lays
emphasis on the distinctive features and convictions of his mother. They make
her stand apart from an average Indian mother. The core sentence to describe her
distinctiveness is, 'her apperances were deceptive, for her face did not show the
immense strength of her moral convictions.
My father and mother were bound to each other by certain common principles and
standard of conduct, but otherwise, in appearance, temperament, and outlook, they were the
reverse or, if one chooses to say the same thing in a different way, the complement of each
other. My mother was as slight and fragile as my father was robust, while her face was as
responsive as my father's was impassive. It rippled to emotions as waters to the wind. It was
quite out of the question for her to try to hide any feeling. We always saw at a glance whether
she was angry or pleased and regulated our movements accordingly. Altogether, she was
always vivid and highstrung, if not hectic and electrical. Even when she was young there
were two deep vertical wrinkles between her eyebrows, which in normal cases would have
signified a bent for thought. But my mother was not intellectual, although when she chose to
be argumentative she could be devastatingly logical. Her natural propensity was intuitive,
and those wrinkles were produced by the frequent fits of introspective brooding into which
she fell.
She was not handsome, but no more was she plain. Her forehead was very wellfragile / fr&dZaIl /

intuitive / In'tju;ItIv /

handsome / 'h&nsJm /

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shaped without being high, and the oval of her face was broad in its upper half but very
quickly receding and tapering in the lower. Her eyes were large and liquid, her nose very
regular and prominent, her lips well-cut but tending towards fullness in the lower one. The
real weakness of the face was the chin, which though neatly shaped was not weighty
enough for the upper part. Then in their entirety, her features give an impression of
unsleeping alertness and inexhaustible animation. By nobody would that face have been
called a face of simple and honest goodness alone. The openness, goodness and generosity
which were as obvious in that countenance were of an exteremely restless, positive, and
winged type.
But here again the appearances were deceptive, for her face did not show, hardly
indicated even, the immense strength of her moral convictions. No one could have inferred
from her face that she was capable of such fanaticism as she showed over questions of right
and wrong. Even more than my father was she intolerant of demonstrativeness and the
wearing of one's heart on one's sleeve. If we groaned too much in times of illness or
expected to be made much of, we were quietly and firmly told to try to go to sleep instead of
making things worse by complaining. Being a highstrung woman she was capable on
occasions of turning panicky on some mishap happening to any of her children, but she
restrained herself soon, and even in her worst panic she never went anywhere near the
normal behaviour of Indian mother on seeing accidents befalling their children. For
example, if a one-year-old baby falls down from a height of, say, two feet, the first thing its
mother would do would be to give out a hideous scream and begin to knock her head on the
floor by way of mourning, on the assumption that the child was already dead and it was no
use going to its help. My mother never gave such exhibitions. On the other hand, if we
frightened her by giving a scream disproportionate to our injury the chances were that we
should be getting some additional cuffing to redress the disproportion. No one who has not
observed the behaviour of the little children in India can have an adequate idea of the range
of expansion of their mouths in self-pity and hope of external pity. The luxury of self-pity as
well as of sympathy was severely rationed in our case. Yet no mother was capable of more
business like attendance on her children in sickness.
The faults of character she disliked most were falsehood, dishonesty, moral
cowardice, and meanness. A liar, a cheat, a coward, and a person with the tiny heart of a
minnow as she put it were the most contemptuous epithet we heard from her mouth. Not
only did she condemn vice, she almost equally despised the tacit acceptance of an
advantage. I shall give one or two instances. If she asked us to take a portion after dividing a
sweet or some other dish, we always said, Give us a piece yourself, mother. For we knew,
if by any chance one of us took what appeared to be the biggest piece, she would look at him
with a meaning smile or at times, even angry contempt. Yet we could not always chasten
ourselves to take the most patently small piece. So we thought we ran a better, or at all
events an even, chance of getting what we wanted if we did not help ourselves.
entirety / In'taIJrJti /
fanaticism / fJ'n&tIsIzJm /
luxury / 'lVkSJri /

impression / Im'preSn /
mishap / 'mIsh&p /
cowardice / 'kaUJdIs /
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inexhaustible / InIg'zO;stJbl /
mouths / maUDz /
contemptuous / kJn'temptSuJs /

Again, when in my school and college days I was staying in hotels and boarding
houses, I found that there always was a rush at the first service of the dinner, because the
dining-hall was nowhere large enough to accommodate all the inmates at the same time, In
this situation many persons discreetly took care to be not very far from the dining-room door
without outwardly seeming to care about the dinner. I am putting the position at its most
decorous, for I once stayed at a hostel in which the boarders who lived on the second floor
came down the stairs in stealthy silence, carrying their shoes in hand for fear of warning the
first floor boarders of their descent towards the dining-room. Not to speak of the second type
of management, my mother would have despised us if we had resorted even to the first. Her
teaching saved me not only from manipulating my turn at dinners but also from pressing my
claims in other walks. I have always assumed that it is not for me to lay down my turn: if I
wait for it there will certainly be the innate justice of society to offer me mine.
Another thing I learned from her was that good manners were a matter of
fundamental decencies and not of external polish. If ever we whispered or laughed in the
presence of visitors, and that even quite innocently, we were quietly called to order for the
time being but afterwards more severely and seriously dealt with. The fault which my
mother emphasized was not the mere lease in manners but the meanness of behaving in a
fashion which might wound the susceptibilities of those who had come to our house in
friendliness. Bad manners, to her thinking, were a sin, not merely against a code of social
behaviour, but against charity. As I grew older my mother had very often to remonstrate
against my sharp and biting tongue. From quite an early age I displayed an unusual and
unchildlike facutly for making barbed observations, whereas my mother was inclined to
take the view of Pascal : Diseurs de bons most, mauvais caractere. I defended myself; and
I knew I was taking the most plausible line of defence from her point of view when I replied.,
But, mother, I never speak harshly of the underdog.

Glossary
conduct
reverse
complement
slight and fragile robust
responsive
impassive
high strung
hectic and electricalvertical
wrinkles
propensity
intuitive
-

behaviour
opposite
that which makes the other complete
lean and thin
strong and healthy
reacting to emotions quickly and in a positive way
not showing any feeling or emotion
easily excited
restless and impatient
lines going down from top to bottom
lines in the skin, eapecially on the forehead
natural, tendency to do something
natural,inborn,without reasoning

condemn / kJn'dem /
assumed / J'sju;md /
grew / gru: /

chasten / 'tSeIsn /
lease / li;s /
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stealthy / 'stelTi /
wound (v) / wu;nd /

introspective brooding-lost in deep thinking

oval
- shaped outline
receding and tapering-moving away and growing narrower
inexhaustible
- never-ending, never-tiring
animation
- life
countenance
- face
conviction
- firm belief
fanaticism
- unreasoning enthusiasm
demonstrativeness- making a show of something
wearing one's heart on one's sleeve - making known ones feelings easily
panicky
- quickly becoming agitated
hideous
- frightful
cuffing
- a light pat with palm
redress
- to set a mistake right
rationed
- restricted
a minnow
- a small fish
tacit
- suggested rather than expressed in words
meaning
- (from 'mean') shabby, degrading
patently
- clearly
inmates
- (here) students living in the hostel
discreetly
- secretly
decorous
- not shocking
lay down
- assert
deal with
- treat
susceptibility
- sensitiveness, tender feelings
remonstrate
- protest against
barbed
- sharp, piercing like an arrow
diseurs
- (French) a man who makes, witty remarks has a bad character
plausible
- reasonable and likely to be true

Exercises
Word Power
(a)

The first word in each pair below is used in the text. The second is almost
similar in sound but different in meaning: for example:
complement-My parents are complementary to each other.
compliment (generally in plural). Pay my compliments to your parents.
Now give the meanings of the following pairs of words and use them in sentences as
above:
plain-plane / dissent-decent/quite-quiet/access-excess/accept-except

(b)

Many words are the same in noun and verb forms:

for example:

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1.

cook (verb) Mother is cooking food in the kitchen.

cook (noun)- Our cook has not come today.

2.

Now use the following words as above:

answer, change , love, display, ripple, glance, produce, face, groan, knock,

smile
(c)

Given below are some compound adjectives write them with their
definitions:Match the words with their meanings
blue eyed

broad minded

narrow minded

good natured

muddle-headed

old-fashioned

thick-skinned

short tempered

open-minded

ill-natured

red-blooded

deep-rooted

1.

someone who gets angry very easily short tempered

2.

a very tolerant person ________________________________________________

3.

an intolerant person _________________________________________________

4.

a person with a pleasant generous character________________________________

5.

a person treated with special favour ______________________________________

6.

a person who is confused ______________________________________________

7.

someone who is willing to listen ________________________________________

8.

beliefs/feelings difficult to change_______________________________________

9.

someone who does not behave well or politely _____________________________

10.

someone/something not modern _______________________________________

11.

someone full of strength and energy _____________________________________

12.

a person who does not easily get upset by criticism __________________________

(d)

Now use the adjectives in sentences of your own.

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Comprehension
(a)

(b)

Choose the correct alternative:

(i)

In temperament and outlook the writer's parents were:

1.
similar
2.
reverse
3.
almost common
4.
almost opposite

(ii)

How does the author describe his mother's chin?

1.
as being attractive
2.
as being repulsive
3.
as being regular and prominent
4.
as being proportionate to the upper part

(iii)

The author's mother was intolerant of demonstrativeness

1.
more than his father was
2.
as much as his father was
3.
as much as the writer was
4.
not even in the least

(iv)

The writer's mother was

1.
like all Indian mothers
2.
like a few Indian mothers
3.
like most Indian mothers
4.
unlike Indian mothers

(v)

'Bad manners', according to the author's mother, were

1.
acceptable in children
2.
against social behaviour and charity
3.
tolerable to some extent
4.
not acceptable in high society

Answer the following questions in one sentence each:

(a)

In what way were the parents of the writer complement of each other?
(Note the formal use 'Complementary to each other')

(b)

Which simile does the writer use for the rippling face of his mother?
(Note-a simile is an expressed comparison)

(c)

Where were the two deep wrinkles formed in his mother's face?

(d)

What produced the wrinkles on her forehead?

(e)

How does the author describe his mother's eyes and nose?

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(f)

(c)

Answer the following questions in 30 to 40 words:

(a)
(b)
(c)
(d)
(e)
(f)

(d)

What was the mother's concept of 'good manners'?

In what way were the parents of the writer reverse of each other?
Describe the author's mother's face in your own words.
How will an average Indian mother react to an accident with her child?
How did the writer's mother react to a mishap with him?
What faults of character did the mother dislike?
What is meant by the expression 'a sharp and biting tongue'? How did authors
mother react to his sharp and biting tongue?

Answer each of the following questions in about 150 words:

(a)
Narrate in short the physical features of the writer's mother.
(b)
How were the appearances of the mother deceptive?
(c)
Prove by giving an example how the mother hated tacit acceptance of
advantage.
(d)
Write a short essay on 'good manners'.
(e)
Give a general impression of the writer's mother as you gather from the
lesson.
(f)
Point out the likes and dislikes of Nirad C. Chaudhuri, as they emerge from
the text.

Grammar
(i)

Can

Learning ModalsLook at the underlined portions in the following sentences from the text:
(a)
No one could have inferred from her face that she was capable of such
fanaticism.
(b)
Being a high strung woman, she was capable of turning panicky.
(c)
Yet we could not always chasten ourselves to take the most patently smaller
piece.
(d)
The fault which my mother emphasised was the manners of behaving in a
fashion which might wound the susceptibilities of those who had come to our
house in friendliness.
In the above sentences. could and might are not auxiliaries of tense. They
are modals, which express certain modes of verbs attached with them.
In these sentences the phrase 'was capable' of shows a modality of 'could'.
Modalities expressed by can, could, may, might, are given below:
(i)
ability, capacity, power
Example: I can fly a kite now.
Amanager can hire and fire his subordinates.
(ii)
permission to the subject.
She can now begin her work.
(iii)
expressing disbelief or impossibility (in interrogative or negative)
Can it be! No, he can not be defeated.
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Could-(i)
(ii)
(iii)
May- (i)
(ii)
(iii)
(iv)

Might-(i)
(ii)

past ability, capacity, power, not existing now

I could speak French when I was in France.
permission in the past with suggestion of changed condition
He could order anybody when he was a collector.
unreal past (non-fulfilment of an action)
I could have gone to England long ago.
seeking permission (through interrogative sentence)
May I attend your lecture?
future possibility
The things may go wrong as you are not coutious about your business.
expressing goodwill, blessing
May all of you prosper well.
expressing purpose (with conjunction 'so that' with verb in the present tense.
With a past tense verb in the principal clause, 'may' in the subordinate clause
is replaced by ' might'
She always takes precaution so that her boss may not chide her.
doubtful possibility (may be or may not be) refers to present possibility
He might be a foreigner, I believe.
non-fulfillment of a possibility in the past (use might have+verb past
participle)
I might have become a millionnaire, if I had won the lotttery.

(1)

Given below are sentences with can, could, may and might. Find the modality
expressed in each case and write it in your notebook.
(1)
He could fly an aeroplane when he was young.
(2)
I can not speak Marathi fluently.
(3)
Take a shorter route so that we may be in time.
(4)
May you have a happy journey!
(5)
It is chilling cold. you may catch cold.
(6)
Look ! She might be your friend Rita.
(7)
The patient might have collapsed. Thank God, he survived the operation.
(8)
You can have all my books. Now I don't need them.
(9)
Can he be such a liar! I don't believe.
(10) I could have passed the exam. last year. Unfortunately I fell ill.

(B)

Given below are some idiomatic expressions with their meanings. Learn their
meanings and use them in sentences of your own. (The first one is from the text
of the lesson)
1.
wearing one's heart on one's sleeve - making known one's feelings easily
2.
to have no heart - to have no capacity for feeling emotions
3.
to take heart - to have courage or enthusiasm

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4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.

change of heart - change of attitude towards something making more friendly

heart of the matter - essence, innermost part of something
at heart - in one's innermost feeling
to break a person's heart- overwhelm a person with sorrow
by heart - from memory
give one's heart to / lose one's heart to - to fall in love
not to have the heart to - to be insensitive
take to heart - be much affected by
to one's heart's content - as much as one wishes to have
with all one's heart - sincerely, with all goodwill
heart- to heart- intimate conversation etc
after one's own heart - according to one's desire or feeling
heart burning - jealousy

SpeakingActivity
(a)

(b)

Face is not the index of a man. One may be highstrung and frowning in the face but the
heart may be full of milk of human kindness. The other may have captivating looks
but there might be a sting behind them.
Devide the class in 5 groups and ask them to deliberate over the statement. Then the
leader of each group will share the conclusions arrived at by his group with the class.
Finally the teacher will conclude, the discussion.
Discuss the usefulness of good manners with a friend of yours and write out the
conclusions.

WritingActivity
You are a student at Govt. Higher Secondary School, Narsinghpur and are living in
the school's hostel. Your mother had given you a lot of advice regarding your behaviour with
the inmates before you left for joining the school.
Write down all the points of importance as guidelines for your classmates.

Think it over
Ponder over the following and write down some points on each topic and share
with your class:
(1)
An incident which shows your mothers kind nature
(2)
Your duty towards your mother
(3)
Things you would like to improve in your nature for her sake

Things to do
The lesson is an extract from the writer's autobiography, published in 1951 under the
title TheAutobiography of an Unknown Indian.
An autobiography is the story of a person's life written by himself. It results from
the writer's pondering over his own 'self', his thoughts and actions, his
achievements and failings, in a word, his inner life as well as his public career.
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Match the writer (given under A) with his/her autobiography (given under B) :A
B
Jean Jacques Rousseau
My Experiments with Truth
Kamla Das
Autobiography
Mahatma Gandhi
India Wins Freedom
A.P.J. Kalam
Confessions
Jawahar Lal Nehru
My Story
MaulanaAbul KalamAzad
Wings of Fire

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