How To Take Party Photos

v2.3
Bronques
This book is for sale at http://leanpub.com/howtotakepartyphotos
This version was published on 2016-03-28

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2015 LastNightsParty

Contents
SO YOU WANNA BE A PARTY PHOTOGRAPHER? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
PRE-GAME . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Do You Even Have Talent? . . . .
What Camera Should You Buy? . .
Pick A Cool Website/Brand Name
Film VS Digital . . . . . . . . . . .
Using Flash . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The Only Lense is 28 MM . . . . .
Renegade Angles . . . . . . . . . .
Take Pictures Everyday . . . . . .
Your Personal Style . . . . . . . .
Read The Manual . . . . . . . . .

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2
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4
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5
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9
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THE PARTY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Be Fashionably Early . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Candid VS. Posed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Body Language . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Do You Have To Drink To Have Fun? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Photographing Groups: Boys VS Girls . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The Gay Fabulous . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Couples . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Crazy People . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
A Good Photographer Is A Sadist. A Good Model Is A Masochist.
Urban Pinups . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Different Cities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Boyfriends . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Muses . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The Three Graces . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The Perfect Soundtrack . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Fashion Shows & Bands . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
When The Party Sucks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Celebrity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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16
16
18
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19
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22
23
23
24
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
32

CONTENTS

Get An Assistant . . . . . . . . . . . .
Photographing Girls After A Breakup
The Burning Of The Bra . . . . . . . .
I Have 36 Sarahs In My Address Book
Other Photographers: Etiquette . . . .
The Clubs Staff . . . . . . . . . . . .
Drugs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The Fortune Fish . . . . . . . . . . . .

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33
34
35
36
38
38
39
40

THE COMEDOWN EDITING THE PHOTOS . . . .

Giving People The 15 Minutes That Warhol Promised
Creating A Photo Gallery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
How Many Photos Should You Take? . . . . . . . . .
How Many Photos Should You Post? . . . . . . . . .
Fuck Photoshop . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Dear Bronques . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The Art Of Business . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Zen And The Art Of Party Photography . . . . . . .

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42
42
42
43
44
45
45
46
47

CONTENTS

SO YOU WANNA BE A PARTY

PHOTOGRAPHER?
If most of your pictures look like this:

American Gothic, Grant Wood. 1930

You need to read this book.

2

SO YOU WANNA BE A PARTY PHOTOGRAPHER?

Introduction
Party photography is only a concept to you right now. Its not yet a taste. It
becomes a taste when you do it every day for a very long time. And then it becomes
nourishment. Life is a party. You should always be taking pictures. Osho
(missing image)
THIS BOOK IS NOT A TECHNICAL GUIDE TO PHOTOGRAPHY. THESE PAGES DONT
CONTAIN ANY INFO ABOUT ISO, F-STOPS, SHUTTER SPEED, DEPTH OF FIELD ETC. THAT
STUFF IS BORING. THIS BOOK IS ABOUT PARTY PHOTOGRAPHY. TAKING PARTY PHOTOS
IS A STREET ART. THIS BOOK WILL TEACH YOU STREET SMARTS. LIKE HOW TO DEAL
WITH IRRITABLE DOORMEN THAT ARE ALLERGIC TO CAMERAS. LIKE HOW TO APPROACH
A CELEBRITY WHEN THERES A PHOTOGRAPHER BLACK OUT IN A CLUB. OR HOW TO
TAKE A PHOTO OF A GIRL IN A BAR BATHROOM WHEN PEOPLE (INCLUDING HER
BOYFRIEND) ARE BANGING ON THE DOOR. YES, THE IMPORTANT STUFF. GO TELL YOUR
FRIENDS ABOUT IT.

PRE-GAME
Do You Even Have Talent?
Your job as a party photographer is not to be nice, its to be dangerous. You
have to make us not want to look away. Most people take boring photos. Boring
photos are photos that have no point of view. A photo gallery of boring photos is
lackadaisical, pointless, and masturbatory. Looking at one of these photo galleries
is angering in its self indulgence (unless youre in it). Taking party pictures
is not about hanging out, being nice and cozy with your friends. Its about
creating something beautiful from scratch. Maybe even making a few enemies in
the process. Achieving anything less and youll just be letting yourself down.
(Anonymous)

My First Camera

PRE-GAME

THE FIRST THING YOU SHOULD FIGURE OUT IS IF YOU TRULY HAVE A TALENT FOR
TAKING PICTURES. IF PEOPLE REGULARLY UNTAG THEMSELVES IN PHOTOS YOU TAKE,
THATS A BAD SIGN. IF PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS EMAILING YOU TO ASK FOR HIGHER REZ,
THATS A GOOD SIGN. IF YOUR PHOTOS ARENT BETTER THAN SOMEONE THATS
HOLDING A SELFIE STICK, YOU MIGHT WANT TO LOOK FOR ANOTHER LINE OF WORK.
FIND AN ANGLE TO PHOTOGRAPHY THAT FEELS UNIQUE. ANYONE WHO SEES YOUR
PICTURES SHOULD KNOW THAT YOU TOOK THEM. ITS NOT IMPORTANT TO KNOW ALL
THE TECHNICAL STUFF. SO MANY SCHOLARS TAKE PICTURES WITH GOOD LIGHTING.
BUT ITS THE INNER-LIGHT THAT A PARTY PHOTOGRAPHER NEEDS. YES, IM TALKING
ABOUT PASSION. PASSION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN TALENT. THERE ARE TWO WAYS
TO AQUIRE TALENT. THE FIRST WAY IS TO BE BORN WITH IT. THE SECOND WAY IS TO
COMBINE SHEER HARD WORK AND PASSION. THATS WHAT MY FATHER WOULD
ALWAYS TELL ME, AND I CAME TO BELIEVE IT. TAKE PICTURES EVERY DAY. THE BEST
TIME YOU COULD HAVE STARTED TAKING PHOTOS EVERY DAY WAS 5 YEARS AGO. THE
SECOND BEST TIME YOU COULD START TAKING PHOTOS EVERY DAY IS TODAY. DO IT.
LIKE, NOW. YOU SHOULD HAVE A PASSION TO CREATE THINGS DAILY. LIVING LIFE
WITHOUT CREATING THINGS DAILY ISNT A LIFE WORTH LIVING. IMPROVE YOUR RATIO.
THE MORE PHOTOS YOU TAKE THAT ARE USABLE, THE BETTER A PHOTOGRAPHER YOU
ARE. IF YOU TAKE A LOT OF PHOTOS EVERY DAY, YOU GET BETTER. NO MATTER WHO
YOU ARE. THATS THE ADVANTAGE WITH DIGITAL: DOING IT DOESNT COST YOU MONEY.
NO ONE EVER SAYS: I DONT LIKE THAT PHOTO BECAUSE IT TOOK THE PHOTOGRAPHER
100 PICTURES BEFORE HE GOT THIS SHOT. SO JUST KEEP TAKING PICTURES UNTIL YOU
GET THE PHOTOS TO LOOK LIKE YOU WANT THEM TO LOOK LIKE. SOMETIMES HALF THE
TALENT OF PHOTOGRAPHY IS BEING THE PERSON WHO BROUGHT THE CAMERA TO THE
PARTY IN THE FIRST PLACE. SOMETIMES THE OTHER HALF OF THE TALENT IS THAT YOU
DECIDED TO TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR BAG. SOMETIMES TALENT IS BEING AT THE WRONG
PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME WITH A CAMERA IN YOUR HAND- SET TO AUTO-FOCUS. TAKE
PICTURES A LOT AND YOU WILL BECOME AT MINIMUM A SEMI-TALENTED
PHOTOGRAPHER. YOU MIGHT EVEN END UP WITH A FEW CLASSIC PHOTOS THAT
FRIENDS AND FAMILY (AND MAYBE EVEN A MAGAZINE EDITOR) WILL LOVE FOREVER.

What Camera Should You Buy?

Party photography is a fad that will never go away. Bronques
(missing image)

PRE-GAME

NO ONE EVER LOOKED AT A PHOTO AND SAID WOW, WHAT A NICE CANON
PHOTOGRAPH OR WOW, THATS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL NIKON PORTRAIT. THE BRAND
NAME OF YOUR CAMERA DOESNT AFFECT WHAT A PHOTO LOOKS LIKE. YOU DO. THE
REASON YOU CHOOSE ONE BRAND VERSUS THE OTHER IS ONLY RANDOM ALLEGIANCE.
ITS COKE VS PEPSI. YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH A CAMERA BODY AT THE STORE, AND YOU
WENT WITH IT. NIKON VS CANON IS LIKE THE BLONDES VS BRUNETTES DEBATE OF
PHOTOGRAPHY. NOWADAYS ANY CAMERA OVER 500$ CAN TAKE FANTASTIC PARTY
PHOTOGRAPHS. THE CAMERAS ALL LOOK AND FEEL DIFFERENT ON THE OUTSIDE BUT
WHEN YOURE FLIPPING THROUGH THE PICTURES NO ONE WILL CARE WHICH CAMERA
THEY CAME FROM. ALL PEOPLE CARE ABOUT IS DO I LOOK GOOD?. ALL PROMOTERS
CARE ABOUT IS DOES MY PARTY LOOK FUN? THE ONLY TIME YOULL BE TALKING
ABOUT NIKON VS CANON IS WITH OTHER PHOTOGRAPHERS. BUT WHY ARE YOU GUYS
TALKING AT A PARTY? YOU SHOULD BE TAKING PHOTOS! THE FIRST CAMERA I EVER
BOUGHT WAS A CANON DIGITAL ELPH. A 2 MEGAPIXEL CAMERA. I CHOSE THAT CAMERA
BECAUSE IT LOOKED PRETTY. IT WAS SMALL AND BLACK. IT HAD EDGES THAT LOOKED
LIKE CHEEKBONES. IT LOOKED LIKE Q DESIGNED IT FOR JAMES BOND. WHEN I GOT
BIGGER JOBS, I REALIZED THAT I NEEDED TO BUY A MORE PROFESSIONAL CAMERA THAT
COULD KEEP FOCUS QUICKER. I CHOSE A CANON AGAIN JUST SO I WOULDNT HAVE TO
LEARN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SYSTEM. I GOT A CANON DIGITAL REBEL. THE NAME
SOUNDED COOL. AND IT WAS BLACK. IF THEY DIDNT HAVE IT IN BLACK, I WOULD HAVE
SWITCHED MY ALLEGIANCE TO NIKON ON THE SPOT. YES, LOOKS MATTER. IF YOU HAVE
TO CARRY SOMETHING AROUND WITH YOU ALL THE TIME, MAKE SURE ITS A BEAUTY. I
HAD NO IDEA WHAT THE REBEL COULD DO, BUT IT LOOKED NICE. BUY A CAMERA THAT
LOOKS SO CUTE OR KICK-ASS THAT YOULL WANT TO TAKE IT WITH YOU EVERYWHERE
YOU GO. PUT BLACK TAPE ON THE CAMERA LOGO AND GIVE YOUR CAMERA A NAME. BE
MORE CREATIVE THAN THE CAMERA MANUFACTURERS WERE. EVER NOTICE THAT THEY
ALWAYS USE THE SAME LETTERING AND NUMBER SYSTEM? THE NEW X1 OR D20? RACE
CAR NAMING SYSTEMS. WARHOL CALLED HIS CAMERA THE WIFE. MY FIRST CAMERAS
NAME WAS ELIZABETH. WHEN YOU START HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR
CAMERA, THE PICTURES ONLY GET BETTER. YOU HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR
CAMERA. YOUR CAMERA HAS TO BECOME YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER.

Pick A Cool Website/Brand Name

The night that I stayed home and chilled, I read a book about going out. Bronques
(missing image)

PRE-GAME

PRE-GAME

THE FIRST THING PEOPLE WILL HEAR IS YOUR WEBSITE NAME. PICK A GOOD ONE.
SOMETHING MEMORABLE. SOMETHING SHORT. SOMETHING THAT MAKES PEOPLE
CURIOUS BEFORE THEYVE EVEN SEEN IT. TRY NOT TO COPY A NAME THAT ALREADY
SOUNDS LIKE A WEBSITE THAT ALREADY EXISTS OR IS ALREADY POPULAR. BE ORIGINAL.
REVIVELASTNIGHT.COM, WHATYOUDIDLASTNIGHT.COM ETC ARE LAME ATTEMPTS AT
BASTARDIZING THE LASTNIGHTSPARTY BRAND (SORRY GUYS). IF YOU CANT BE
CREATIVE WITH YOUR NAME, HOW CREATIVE WILL YOU BE WITH YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS?
SOME GREAT NAMES IVE SEEN OUT THERE:
DARKROOMDEMONS
DIRTYDIRTYDANCING
EIGHTMINUTESTOSUNRISE
GUESTOFAGUEST
HOBOGESTAPO
ICANTEACHYOUHOWTODOIT
RONYSPHOTOBOOTH
ISTAYEDUPLATE
KIDPAPARAZZI
NICKYDIGITAL
OUTWITHME
POLAROIDSCENE
SORRYIMISSEDYOURPARTY
TAKEMOREPHOTOS
THECOBRASNAKE
THENIGHTLIGHT
WEAREAWESOME
ONCE YOUVE FIGURED OUT YOUR NAME REGISTER IT AND GET SOME SERVER SPACE.
NOW YOURE READY TO LAUNCH A WEBSITE. MAKE SOME BUSINESS CARDS. KEEP THEM
SIMPLE. MY FIRST BUSINESS CARD HAD MY WEBSITE NAME IN THE FRONT AND THE
TAGLINE WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT? IN THE BACK. MAKE YOUR TAGLINE A CALL
TO ACTION. PEOPLE MIGHT FIND IT IN THEIR POCKET THE NEXT DAY. MAYBE IT WILL
FALL OUT OF SOMEONES POCKET WHEN THEYRE DOING LAUNDRY. PICK SOMETHING
THAT WILL MAKE THEM SAY OH SHIT! THEN THEYLL RUSH ONLINE TO SEE WHAT
THEYVE DONE. MAKE YOUR NAME ENGAGING. SOMETHING SO GOOD THAT SOMEONE
WILL BE DYING TO WRITE THE NAME IN THE ADDRESS BAR OF THEIR BROWSER TO SEE
WHERE IT TAKES THEM.

PRE-GAME

Film VS Digital
You should always be taking pictures, if not with a camera then with your mind.
Memories you capture on purpose are always more vivid than the ones you pick
up by accident. Warm Bodies, Isaac Marion
(missing image)
ARE WE STILL HAVING THE FILM VS DIGITAL DEBATE? PEOPLE, ALL YOU NEED IS A
CAMERA WITH A FLASH, AND YOU CAN TAKE GREAT PARTY PHOTOS. 35MM FILM IS
GREAT WHEN YOU WANT TO GO OLD SCHOOL. THE BEST THING ABOUT USING FILM IS
THAT YOURE NEVER TEMPTED TO LOOK AT PHOTOS WHILE YOURE AT A PARTY. USING
35MM FILM IS GOOD BECAUSE ITS A CONVERSATION STARTER. GOOD CONVERSATIONS
OFTEN LEAD TO GOOD PHOTOS. FILM IS GREAT BECAUSE IT CAN MAKE YOU FEEL MORE
LIKE YOURE CREATING ART. FILM CAN GIVE YOU THAT SENSE OF SUPERIORITY AND
ENTITLEMENT. YOU DONT SEE THE RESULTS RIGHT AWAY SO IT MAKES YOU LESS
ANALYTICAL ABOUT THINGS THAT DONT MATTER. BUT GOING DIGITAL IS COOL TOO!
WITH DIGITAL YOU CAN WASTE A BUNCH OF EXPOSURES ALL IN THE NAME OF HAVING
THE FLASH GO OFF A LOT. THAT WILL MAKE PEOPLE FEEL GLAMOROUS AT A PARTY.
WHEN PEOPLE FEEL SPECIAL, YOU GET GOOD PICTURES. DONT LET THEM FOOL YOU
WHEN THEY ACCUSE YOU OF BEING PAPARAZZI- THEY LOVE IT! DIGITAL IS GOOD FOR
PUTTING PHOTOS ONLINE THE FASTEST. DIGITAL IS GOOD BECAUSE YOU DONT HAVE
TO CHANGE FILM AND MISS AN ASTONISHING SHOT. DIGITAL IS GOOD BECAUSE ITS
CHEAPER. USE WHATEVER YOU HAVE. USE WHATEVER WILL INSPIRE YOU TO TAKE THE
CAMERA OFF YOUR BOOKSHELF AND OUT OF YOUR BAG WHEN YOU GO OUT. THE
CAMERA YOURE INSPIRED TO CARRY IS THE CAMERA YOURE MORE LIKELY TO TAKE
PHOTOS WITH.

Using Flash
The earth isnt flat, neither is it stationary. The sky is not a dome, the sun does
not move, stars are not tiny specs of light and those parties you see on the website
arent nearly as good as the pictures make them seem. (Anonymous)
(missing image)

PRE-GAME

10

PARTY PHOTOGRAPHY IS NOT HIGH ART. WHEN YOU ARE IN A DARK PLACE USE FLASH.
IT LOOKS THE BEST. IT MAKES PEOPLE LOOK YOUNGER. IT EVENS OUT THE SKIN. IT
MAKES PEOPLE LOOK FABULOUS. USING NO FLASH MAKES PEOPLE LOOK TIRED AND
OLD. THE RESULTING SHADOWS MAKE EYES LOOK SUNKEN IN. MAKING PEOPLE LOOK
GREAT SHOULD BE YOUR HIGHEST GOAL AND PRIORITY. USING FLASH HELPS YOU GET
CLOSER TO THAT GOAL. IT DOESNT MATTER HOW BIG OR SMALL THE FLASH ON YOUR
CAMERA IS. YOULL BE CLOSE ENOUGH TO YOUR SUBJECTS SO THAT FLASH STRENGTH
SHOULDNT BE AN ISSUE. MAKE SURE TO GET A FLASH WITH AN AF (AUTOFOCUS) ASSIST
BEAM. USING A FLASH WITH AN INTERMITTENT FLASH FIRING SYSTEM IS AWFUL AT A
PARTY. #1 BECAUSE ITS ANNOYING TO EVERYONE WHEN THOSE FLASHES GO OFF IN A
ROW. #2 BECAUSE PEOPLE ASSUME YOUVE TAKEN THE PICTURE BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY
HAVE. THE FLASH GOING OFF IS A CUE TO YOUR SUBJECTS THAT YOU TOOK THE PHOTO.
USE THAT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE TOO: THE OTHER BEST TIME TO TAKE A PHOTO IS THE
MOMENT RIGHT AFTER YOUVE JUST TAKEN A PHOTO. PEOPLE GO BACK TO A RELAXED
STATE. OR SOMETIMES THEY LAUGH OR DO SOME RANDOM SOCIAL THING. THEY THINK
THE PHOTOGRAPHY MOMENT IS DONE. STEAL ANOTHER PICTURE. THOSE MOMENTS
OFTEN LOOK INTERESTING IN A PHOTOGRAPH. BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR THAT
PHOTO AFTER THE PHOTO SHOT.

The Only Lense is 28 MM

If your photograph isnt good, its because youre not close enough. Robert Capa
It may seem like a good idea to use a zoom lens when traveling, but that just means
you cant decide on the lens you need for your subject. It means you havent got
your ideas in order. Once you know what youre all about as a photographer, all
you need is a fixed lens camera. This is how it should be done. If you cant do it like
this, it means that youre still not up to being a photographer! Nobuyoshi Araki
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THE BEST LENS TO USE FOR PARTY PHOTOGRAPHY IS A 28MM PRIME LENS. ITS WIDE
ENOUGH TO GET A LOT OF INFORMATION IN, BUT NOT SO WIDE THAT IT LOOKS LIKE
AN EFFECT. YOU SHOULD NEVER ZOOM. UNLESS YOURE PAPARAZZI OR A SPORTS
PHOTOGRAPHER, YOU HAVE NO USE FOR A ZOOM. AT A PARTY, EVERYONE IS CLOSE
ENOUGH. IF THEY ARENT, WALK CLOSER TO THEM. THE BEST ZOOM IS YOUR FEET.
ZOOMING IN MAKES IT LOOK LIKE THERE IS NO INTIMACY IN THE PHOTOGRAPH. THATS
THE LIMITATION OF LENS TECHNOLOGY. BUT IF YOU PUT A CAMERA CLOSE TO THE
ACTION IT MAKES THE VIEWER FEEL LIKE THEYRE ACTUALLY THERE. YOU WANT PEOPLE
TO WISH THEY WERE WHERE THE CAMERA WAS. ESTABLISH A STRONG RELATIONSHIP
WITH YOUR LENS. YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO LOOK THROUGH THE VIEWFINDER TO
KNOW WHERE YOUR CAMERA SHOULD BE POINTING. WHEN I TOOK MY FIRST PHOTO
OF JAY-Z AND BEYONCE, I HAD MY MINI CAMERA AND IT HAD NO ZOOM. THE ONLY
CHANCE I HAD AT GETTING A SHOT WAS TO WALK CLOSER TO THEM. PAST THEIR
BODYGUARDS. PAST THEIR PR BITCH. AND PAST THEIR ENTOURAGE. IF I HAD TAKEN
THE PHOTO WITH A ZOOM, IT WOULD HAVE LOOKED LIKE A PAPARAZZI SHOT. THERE
WOULD BE NONE OF THAT FEELING OF INTIMACY THAT YOU GET WHEN YOURE
STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF SOMEONE. 28MM FORCES YOU GET CLOSER TO THE
ACTION. CLOSER TO WHERE YOU MIGHT GET PUNCHED, KISSED OR DRENCHED IN
SWEAT. CLOSER TO WHERE LIFE IS. GET IN THERE. PEOPLE MAY SAY THINGS LIKE
YOURE SO CLOSE! BUT THEYRE NOT PHOTOGRAPHERS. THEY DONT UNDERSTAND
THAT YOU HAVE A WIDE LENS. THEYRE JUST USED TO SHITTY PHOTOGRAPHERS THAT
STAND 6 FEET AWAY. JUST TELL THEM NOT TO WORRY AND TAKE THE PHOTO CLOSE
ANYWAYS. WHEN YOU RUN INTO THEM AGAIN AT ANOTHER PARTY LISTEN TO THEM
TELL YOU HOW GOOD THEY LOOK IN THAT PHOTO YOU TOOK LAST WEEK. LISTEN TO
THEM TELL YOU HOW MUCH BETTER YOU ARE AT THIS PARTY PHOTOGRAPHY THING.
YEAH, ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU STARTED READING BRONQUES BOOK.

Renegade Angles
My camera doesnt lie. My angles do. Bronques
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IF YOU GIVE A CAMERA TO A CHILD, YOULL NOTICE THAT THE PICTURES ARE OFTEN
IMPRESSIVE. ITS NOT ALWAYS BECAUSE THE CHILD IS A PRODIGY. OFTEN ITS JUST
BECAUSE CHILDREN HAVE A DIFFERENT VANTAGE POINT THEN WE DO. THEY SEE
THINGS FROM LOWER ANGLES THAN WE DO. THEY ARE NOT AFRAID TO GET TOO CLOSE
TO THEIR SUBJECTS LIKE WE ARE. BY THE TIME WE REACH ADULTHOOD MOST OF US
RESPECT PERSONAL SPACE. RESPECTING PERSONAL SPACE IS THE #1 ENEMY OF PARTY
PHOTOGRAPHY. GOOD PARTY PHOTOS ARE INTIMATE. GET IN THERE. BUT ALSO, GET
BELOW THERE. AND ABOVE THERE. AND BESIDE THERE. AND BEHIND THERE. AND
UNDERNEATH THERE. AND AROUND THERE. EACH OF THOSE POINTS OF VIEW CREATE
DIFFERENT TYPES OF EXCITING PICTURES. WATCH RUSS MEYER MOVIES. WATCH WES
ANDERSON MOVIES. EYE LEVEL IS WHERE MOST PEOPLE, PROFESSIONAL OR NOT
ALWAYS SHOOT. DONT ALWAYS WANT TO PUT SOMEONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE
PHOTO. GOD THATS BORING. SOMETIMES YOU SEE SOMEONE AND YOU THINK THEY
LOOK BEAUTIFUL. BUT FOR SOME REASON WHEN YOU PHOTOGRAPH THEM THEY
DONT LOOK AS GOOD. ITS NOT BECAUSE THEYRE NOT PHOTOGENIC (THAT JUST
DOESNT EXIST). ITS BECAUSE YOU HAVENT FOUND THEIR ANGLE YET. EVERYONE HAS
AN ANGLE. A 2 DIMENSIONAL IMAGE CANT COMPENSATE FOR YOUR SUBJECT THE WAY
OUR EYE CAN. PHOTOGRAPHERS CREATE ILLUSIONS WITH ANGLES. DIRECT YOUR
MODEL TO GET THE RIGHT POSITION. HUNGER FOR THE RIGHT ANGLE OR YOULL BE
REWARDED WITH BAD PICTURES AND NO CARREER. AND YOU MIGHT ALSO INSTILL
LIFELONG TRAUMA INTO YOUR SUBJECTS. THROW OUT THE SCRIPT AND FIND A NEW
ANGLE. THERE IS NO RULE OF THIRDS WHERE ALCOHOL IS BEING SERVED. GOOD
COMPOSITION IS WHEN IT LOOKS LIKE THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE PHOTOGRAPH
WAS DRUNK (EXCEPT ITS IN FOCUS). THERE COMES A POINT IN THE NIGHT WHERE
LOOKING THROUGH THE VIEWFINDER IS NO LONGER NEEDED. ITS CALLED THE
BEGINNING OF THE NIGHT. SERIOUSLY. DONT LOOK AT YOUR PHOTOS. BELIEVE IN
LUCK. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. ITS A PARTY. ITS DIGITAL. OR IF YOURE LUCKY
ITS FILM. WHY ARE YOU SO SERIOUS? THINK OUT OF THE BOX. IF YOU CANT, HAVE A
COUPLE OF SHOTS OF TEQUILA.

Take Pictures Everyday

If you do something once, its exciting. If you do something everyday, its exciting.
If you do it once in a while, its rather ordinary. Andy Warhol
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WHEN I STARTED TAKING PICTURES, I SUCKED. IT DIDNT HELP THAT I HAD A CAMERA
THAT COULDNT STAY IN FOCUS. SO THE ONLY THING I COULD DO TO GET BETTER WAS
TO PRACTICE. I WENT TO 2-3 PARTIES A NIGHT AND TOOK BETWEEN 600-1000 PHOTOS. I
STARTED ON OCTOBER 15. I NEVER TOOK ONE DAY OFF UNTIL I WENT TO VISIT MY
PARENTS FOR CHRISTMAS. I EVEN TOOK PICTURES ON THANKSGIVING. I GUESS I WAS
THANKFUL FOR MY NEW JOB. I WENT TO SLEEP WITH MY CAMERA. I DID MY MALCOLM
GLADWELL 10,000 HOURS, WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING IT. I TOOK MORE PARTY
PHOTOGRAPHS THAN MOST PHOTOGRAPHERS HAD EVER TAKEN IN THEIR LIVES- IN A
SINGLE WEEK. BUT PUSHING THE SHUTTER SO MANY TIMES EVERY NIGHT ISNT
ENOUGH. YOU HAVE TO BE TRYING TO GET BETTER PHOTOGRAPHS. MY PHOTOS
SUCKED. PEOPLE EVEN EMAILED ME TO TELL ME SO. MY ONLY GIFT WAS AUDACITY.
LUCKY FOR ME I WAS THE ONLY PARTY PHOTOGRAPHER AROUND BACK THEN. I HAD A
SCENE HUNGRY TO SEE THEMSELVES PROJECTED BACK. WHAT GLADWELL DOESNT TELL
YOU IS THAT IT TAKES 10,000 HOURS WITH FOCUSED INTENTION. I WANTED TO TAKE
PICTURES SO VIBRANT THAT YOU COULD FEEL THE MUSIC PLAYING IN THE
BACKGROUND. IM STILL STRIVING FOR THAT GOAL. YOU WANT TO TAKE BETTER PARTY
PICTURES? IMAGINE THE PHOTOS YOU WANT TO TAKE BEFORE YOU GO OUT, THEN GO
OUT AND TAKE THOSE PICTURES. DO THIS EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. WITH TIME YOU WILL
NARROW THE GAP BETWEEN YOUR IMAGINATION AND THE RESULT. BUT WHERE WILL
YOU FIND THESE AMAZING PARTIES TO KEEP YOU PRACTICING? LET PEOPLE GUIDE YOU.
LET COMPLETE STRANGERS GUIDE YOUR DECISIONS ABOUT THE NEXT PLACE TO GO.
HAVE FAITH IN FATE. THE UNKNOWN IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN WHATEVER YOU HAD
ON YOUR ITINERARY. YOU SHOULD BE ALICE. ALWAYS GO DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE.

Your Personal Style

The party photographer is an entertainer first, an artist sometimes. Bronques
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EVERYTHING ABOUT HOW YOU PRESENT YOURSELF AFFECTS YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY. IF

YOU HAVE A SMALL POINT AND SHOOT YOUR SUBJECT WILL REACT DIFFERENTLY THAN
IF YOU HAVE A BIG SLR. THE POINT AND SHOOT MIGHT MAKE THEM FEEL MORE AT
EASE. LIKE ITS LESS SERIOUS. THE BIG SLR MIGHT MAKE THEM FEEL MORE GLAMOROUS.
LIKE YOURE A SERIOUS PHOTOGRAPHER THAT KNOWS WHAT HES DOING. HOW
YOURE DRESSED IS IMPORTANT TOO. DO YOU WANT TO MAKE PARTIERS FEEL LIKE
YOURE ONE OF THEM? OR DO YOU WANT TO DRESS IN A WAY THAT DIFFERENTIATES
YOU SO THAT YOU STAND OUT FROM EVERYONE ELSE?. DONT LEAVE THESE THINGS UP
TO CHANCE. ITS THESE KIND OF DETAILS THAT AFFECTS WHAT WILL BE ON YOUR
MEMORY CARD BY THE END THE NIGHT. THE SIDE BENEFIT OF HAVING A NIGHTLIFE
LOOK IS THAT IT BECOMES YOUR UNIFORM. AS SOON AS YOU PUT IT ON, YOU WILL BE
IN THE PSYCHOLOGICAL HEADSPACE OF TAKING PARTY PHOTOS. IF YOU CANT PUT THE
EFFORT OF DRESSING UP FOR THE OCCASION, WHY SHOULD PEOPLE MAKE THE EFFORT
OF DELIVERING THEIR STAR POWER TO YOUR LENSE?

Read The Manual

My definition of balance is swinging back and forth between extremes. Bronques
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WHEN YOU GET YOUR NEW CAMERA, READ THE WHOLE MANUAL. FROM START TO
FINISH. LEARN ABOUT EVERYTHING YOUR NEW TOY CAN DO. NOT BECAUSE YOURE
GOING TO DO IT ALL, BUT JUST SO THAT YOU KNOW HOW TO SOLVE THE CHALLENGES
WHEN THEY COME UP. IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST CAMERA, PUT IT ON AUTOMATIC. LEARN
YOUR LENS. LEARN THE FLASH. YOU CAN TAKE AMAZING PHOTOS WORTHY OF
EXHIBITIONS BY MASTERING ONLY THOSE TWO THINGS. LENS AND FLASH. ITS NOT
CHEATING IF YOU USE A CAMERA ON AUTOMATIC. THE TRUTH OF PHOTOGRAPHY IS
SIMPLE: ALL THAT DIFFERENTIATES YOU AND OTHER PHOTOGRAPHERS IS WHAT YOU
PUT IN THE FRAME. THAT 3X2 RECTANGLE. PEOPLE WITH NEW CAMERAS LOVE TO TRY
OUT ALL THE BELLS AND WHISTLES. AT A PARTY THE BEST SETTING FOR YOUR CAMERA
IS AUTOMATIC. THE LESS THINKING YOU HAVE TO DO WHILE TAKING A PARTY PHOTO,
THE BETTER. YOU NEED TO STAY IN THE MOMENT. EACH SECOND SPENT FIDDLING
AROUND WITH BUTTONS OR LOOKING AT MENUS ON A SCREEN ARE SHOTS YOU MAY
BE MISSING. THE ONLY TIME YOU SHOULD CHANGE CAMERA SETTINGS IS IF YOURE
TRYING TO SOLVE A PROBLEM POSED BY SOME UNIQUE CIRCUMSTANCES IN FRONT OF
YOU. BUT 95% OF THE TIME THERES NO PROBLEM. THERES JUST A PARTY AROUND YOU
WAITING FOR YOUR ATTENTION. I HARDLY EVER USE ANY EFFECTS ON MY PHOTOS. I
DONT LIKE ANYTHING IN MY PHOTOS THAT REMINDS PEOPLE ABOUT PHOTOGRAPHY.
THE LESS PHOTOGRAPHIC MANIPULATION PEOPLE SEE IN A PHOTO, THE BETTER. THE
MORE IT LOOKS LIKE THE MOMENTS PHOTOGRAPHED WERE GENUINELY EXCITING.
LIGHT EFFECTS AND FISHEYE LENSES ARE LAME. THEY JUST COMPENSATE FOR ENERGY
THAT WASNT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE. HOW YOU FRAME THE PHOTO IS WHATS
IMPORTANT. A PHOTO CAN BE OVEREXPOSED OR IT CAN BE BLURRY, BUT IF THE
COMPOSITION IS RIGHT IT MAY STILL END UP LOOKING AWESOME. COMPOSITION IS
THE MOST POWERFUL FACET OF PHOTOGRAPHY. ESPECIALLY IF YOURE LOOKING FOR
AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION IN YOUR WORK. NOONE EVER LOOKED AT A PICTURE
AND SAID, WOW, THATS AN AMAZING PHOTO, TOO BAD HE HAD THE CAMERA ON
AUTOMATIC. YOUR AUDIENCE DOESNT CARE ABOUT THAT STUFF. THEY ONLY CARE IF
THE PHOTO LOOKS COOL. IF YOU WANT YOUR PHOTOS TO LOOK COOL, MASTER
COMPOSITION. MASTER THE FRAME.

THE PARTY
Be Fashionably Early
The view that taking party pictures has to do with capturing the existing, is
wrong. Party photography is about seeing the existing and imagining what it could
become. Bronques
(missing image)

16

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PLEASE TAKE THE LENS CAP OFF THE CAMERA BEFORE YOU EVEN GET IN THE CAB. THE
MOMENT YOU STEP OUTSIDE OF YOUR APARTMENT, ITS NIGHTLIFE. EVEN IF YOURE
ONLY GOING TO DUANE READE. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. SOME OF THE BEST PARTY
SHOTS HAPPEN BEFORE YOU EVEN GET TO YOUR DESTINATION. TAKE TEST PICTURES
WHILE YOURE STILL OUT ON THE STREET. MAKE SURE THAT THE FLASH WORKING. I
CANT TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES GREAT PHOTOS OCCUR JUST AS YOUR WALKING UP
TO THE FRONT OF THE CLUB. I GOT MY EXCLUSIVE SEAL AND HEIDI KLUM PHOTOS
THAT WAY. THE BEST TIME TO GET TO A PARTY IS JUST A LITTLE BIT EARLY. THAT WAY
YOU CAN WATCH EVERYBODY COME IN. SEE WHO COMES IN ALONE. SEE WHICH GROUP
COMES IN AS GIRLS NIGHT OUT. PAY ATTENTION TO WHO WORKS THERE. GET IN
SYNC WITH THE VIBE OF THE PARTY AS YOU WATCH IT GROW. GET ANY WRISTBAND
THAT YOU MAY NEED FOR THE VIP SECTIONS IF ITS THAT KIND OF PARTY. GET TO
KNOW THE STAFF, ESPECIALLY SECURITY. THAT FACE RECOGNITION YOU ESTABLISH
NOW CAN HELP WITH SOME CRUCIAL PARTY PHOTOGRAPHS LATER. FIND OUT WHERE
THE BATHROOM IS. FIND OUT WHERE THE BAR IS. WHERE IS THE SMOKING SECTION?
TALK TO THE PROMOTERS. GO BACKSTAGE. FIGURE OUT THE LAYOUT OF THE BAR OR
CLUB. IF YOU DO ALL YOUR HOMEWORK EARLY, BY THE TIME THE PARTY IS PEAKING AT
1 AM, YOU WILL HAVE A COMPLETE MASTERY OF THE ROOM. GREAT PHOTOGRAPHS
WILL COME EASY. WHEN A BEAUTY ASKS FOR YOUR HELP YOU WILL KNOW HOW TO
DIRECT THEM. REMEMBER THAT YOURE AN INTEGRAL COMPONENT OF THIS PARTY.
YOURE AN INSIDER. BREED CONFIDENCE. THEN LATER WHEN YOU SAY I NEED A
PICTURE OF YOU! THEY WILL GIVE IT TO YOU 100% OF THE TIME. EVEN IF THEY HATE
PHOTOS. EVEN IF THEY DONT THINK THEYRE PHOTOGENIC. EVEN IF THEYRE AN A-LIST
CELEBRITY. AND PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU USE THE WORD NEED AND NOT WANT.
NEED SOUNDS URGENT, AND IT IS. THIS IS A BATTLEFIELD, AND YOUR JOB IS TO GET
BETTER PHOTOS THAN ANYBODY ELSE HERE. THE BEGINNING OF A PARTY IS THE BEST
TIME TO TAKE A FEW ORDINARY PORTRAITS. TEST THE WATERS. SEE WHO HATES
GETTING THEIR PICTURE TAKEN. SEE WHO LOVES IT. WHERE ARE YOUR CAMERA WHORES
AT? ESTABLISH A RAPPORT WITH PEOPLE EARLY ON. IT WILL FEEL LESS INTRUSIVE
WHEN YOU START SHOOTING FOR REAL. THIS WILL SET YOU UP FOR THE REAL SHIT: THE
CANDID SHOTS! NOW THAT YOURE FRIENDS WITH EVERYBODY YOU WILL GET BETTER
PICTURES. GETTING TO THE PARTY HAS ALSO GIVEN YOU TIME GET A DRINK. WHEN BAR
LINE-UPS START HAPPENING YOU DONT WANT TO BE WAITING FOR A GIN AND TONIC.
THAT WAITING WILL COST YOU TOO MUCH GREAT MATERIAL. LATER, WHEN YOU HAVE
ALL YOUR GREAT INSIDE SHOTS, GO BACK OUTSIDE. THE BETTER THE PARTY IS, THE
MORE LIKELY THERES A LITTLE SCENE IN FRONT. PEOPLE SMOKING, PEOPLE TALKING,
HOT GIRLS MAKING DRAMATIC PHONE CALLS. ALL THAT SHOULD BE ON YOUR
CAMERA. HALF OF THE INTERESTING PEOPLE AT A PARTY WANNA DANCE. THE OTHER
HALF OF THE INTERESTING PEOPLE AT A PARTY WANT TO SOCIALIZE. IGNORE ANYBODY
ELSE. WHEN YOURE OUTSIDE, THATS THE BEST TIME TO PHOTOGRAPH WHOLE
OUTFITS. WHEN YOURE OUTSIDE, ITS EASIER TO FLIRT. USE YOUR PHOTOGRAPHIC
CHARISMA TO SCORE A MUSE. HAIL A CAB AND TAKE A BEAUTY TO THEIR APARTMENT
AND DO A QUICK PRIVATE PHOTOSHOOT FOR AN HOUR. YOU SHOULD STILL HAVE
ENOUGH TIME LEFT TO GO BACK OUT FOR THE AFTERPARTY.

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Candid VS. Posed

Some party photographers like to see themselves as a fly on the wall. Id rather
be a fly in the ointment. (Anonymous)
(missing image)
ARE YOU TRYING TO DOCUMENT SOMETHING OR ARE YOU TRYING TO CREATE
SOMETHING? GREAT PHOTOGRAPHY IS A BURST OF INSPIRATION. GET YOUR IDEA AND
ACT ON IT. DONT OVERTHINK. TAKE THE PHOTO BEFORE YOU HAVE TIME TO
RECONSIDER. WHEN YOU TAKE PICTURES AT A PARTY SHOOT ANYTHING THAT INSPIRES
YOU. IF MOVING A CUP, OR SOME GIRLS BOTHERSOME PURSE OR SOME DUDES BIG
HEAD OUT OF THE WAY IS GOING TO MAKE A BETTER PICTURE, THEN MOVE IT. PEOPLE
REMEMBER THE PICTURE, NOT WHAT IT TOOK TO GET THE PICTURE. IF A GIRL IS
DANCING LIKE A MANIAC BUT YOU NOTICE THAT SWEAT OR HER FACIAL T-ZONE IS
GIVING HER EXAGERATED HIGHLIGHTS, THEN GRAB A NAPKIN FROM THE BAR AND PAT
HER DOWN WHILE YOU TAKE YOUR PHOTOS. SHE WONT EVEN NOTICE. SHES IN THE
MOMENT. THE BEST TYPE OF PHOTOSHOP IS PRE-PHOTOSHOP. DONT BE AFRAID TO
CREATE PHOTOS FROM SCRATCH THAT WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HADNT
SUGGESTED THEM. IF YOU SET SOMETHING UP LIKE TWO STRANGERS KISSING, IT STILL
HAPPENED DIDNT IT? WHY IS IT ONLY REAL IF SOME HORNY DUDE SUGGESTED IT AND
YOU JUST HAPPEN TO BE WALKING BY? THE PARTY PHOTOGRAPHER IS AN INSTIGATOR
JUST LIKE THE GO-GO DANCER IS AN INSTIGATOR. JUST LIKE THE DJ IS AN INSTIGATOR.
THE PARTY PHOTOGRAPHER INSPIRES PEOPLE TO DO JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE, ACT JUST
A LITTLE BIT CRAZIER THAN THEY NORMALLY WOULD. THEN THEY PHOTOGRAPH IT FOR
POSTERITY. THE STAGING VS PHOTO-JOURNALISM IS A LONG RUNNING DEBATE IN
TRADITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHY. BUT IN PARTY PHOTOGRAPHY ITS A RIDICULOUS
DEBATE. PEOPLE DEFINE STAGING AS SOMETHING THAT WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED
WITHOUT THE PHOTOGRAPHERS INVOLVEMENT. BUT THE MOMENT YOU INVITE A
PARTY PHOTOGRAPHER TO YOUR PARTY, HES INVOLVED. ACTUALLY, THE BETTER THE
PHOTOGRAPHER IS, THE MORE INVOLVED HE IS. SOMETIMES THE STUFF A PARTY
PHOTOGRAPHER SUGGESTS IS THE STUFF THAT JUMP-STARTS THE PARTY. IT CAUSES A
CHAIN-REACTION OF THINGS THAT CREATES THE TURN UP. WHAT WAS A DULL
GET-TOGETHER HALF AN HOUR AGO IS A CRAZY SCENE LATER. THEY WILL BLAME THE
ALCOHOL. NO ONE WILL BLAME YOU BECAUSE THEY WILL FORGET THE CATALYST. BUT
YOU DONT NEED THE CREDIT. YOU WILL HAVE SOMETHING BETTER. GREAT PHOTOS.

Body Language
My three great pleasures in life are 1) crashing a party, 2) drinking from the hosts
bottle and 3) leaving with the hottest girl there. Bronques
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SOMETIMES THE MUSIC IS TOO LOUD, AND YOU HAVE TO COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE
WITH YOUR HANDS AND YOUR BODY. TWO FINGERS POINTED AT THEM AND THEN
POINTED AT YOUR LENS TELLS THEM TO LOOK IN YOUR CAMERA. IF YOU WANT THEM
TO ARCH THEIR BACK, JUST ARCH YOURS AND THEYLL GET IT. I WENT TO JAPAN AND
DID A WHOLE PHOTOSHOOT WITHOUT EVER TALKING TO THE MODEL. WE HAD A
LANGUAGE BARRIER, BUT IT DIDNT STOP US. SOMETIMES PEOPLE GET NERVOUS WHEN
YOURE TAKING A PHOTO OF THEM. THAT TENSION EITHER GOES TO THEIR HANDS OR
THEIR FACE. TO GET RID OF THAT FACIAL TENSION JUST ASK THEM TO OPEN THEIR
MOUTHS JUST A LITTLE AND THAT SHOULD GET RID OF IT. ITS HARD TO HAVE TENSION
IN YOUR FACE WHEN YOUR MOUTH IS AJAR. THEN TELL THEM NOT TO FROWN. EVEN IF
THEY ARENT FROWNING, THEY WILL RELAX THE FOREHEAD EVEN MORE. PEOPLE WILL
GIVE YOU THEIR STOCK CAMERA FACES. ITS UP TO YOU TO FIGURE OUT THE RIGHT
ANGLE TO POINT THEIR FACE. AND THAT ANGLE WILL DEPEND ON WHERE YOUR
CAMERA POINTED. MOVE PEOPLES HEADS YOURSELF. DESCRIBING IT TO THEM IS TOO
ABSTRACT ESPECIALLY IF ITS A SLIGHT MOVEMENT. PEOPLE LOVE GETTING THEIR
PICTURE TAKEN. BUT IF YOURE GONNA JUST AIM AND SHOOT, DONT EXPECT THEM TO
STICK AROUND. TELL THEM WHAT TO DO, WHERE TO LOOK AND HOW TO STAND.
YOUVE PUT A SPOTLIGHT ON THEM SO THEYRE INSECURE NOW. MAKE THEM FEEL
SPECIAL. LIKE THEYRE THE ONLY PERSON IN THE ROOM. FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM. OR
AT LEAST FALL IN LOVE WITH THE IDEA THAT YOU CAN IMMORTALIZE THAT SIDE OF
THEM THAT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL. IF YOURE GOOD, YOU CAN DO THIS IN 15
SECONDS OR LESS.

Do You Have To Drink To Have Fun?

If your heels still hurt, youre just not drunk enough. Bronques
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IF YOURE GOING TO DRINK WHEN YOU GO OUT, YOU SHOULD PRACTICE TAKING
PICTURES DRUNK. JUST LIKE SLASH DID IN GUNS AND ROSES. HE MADE SURE HE WAS
ALWAYS DRUNK WHEN HE WAS PRACTICING GUITAR SO THAT HE COULD DO IT WHEN
HE PLAYED LIVE. YOUR BRAIN HAS TO LEARN TO DEFAULT TO GOOD FRAMING AND
IN-FOCUS PICTURES NO MATTER WHAT YOUR LEVELS OF INEBRIATION ARE. USE ANY
METHOD YOU CAN TURN THE ANALYTICAL FILTER OFF. IF YOURE A DRINKER, YOU
SHOULD HAVE A FAVORITE PARTY DRINK. ALWAYS DRINK THE SAME DRINK SO THAT
BARTENDERS KNOW WHAT TO SERVE YOU IN ADVANCE. THEY WILL HAVE IT WAITING
FOR YOU WHEN THEY SEE YOU WALK IN. DURING THE PARTY TAKE SHOTS. YOU DONT
WANT TO BE HOLDING A DRINK. YOU DONT WANT TO BE MISSING GREAT CANDID
SHOTS BECAUSE YOURE NURSING A WEAK DRINK. DRINK TEQUILA SHOTS. THE RITUAL
MAKES FOR GOOD PHOTOS. IT ALSO IS A GOOD WAY TO SEPARATE THE REAL PARTIER
FROM THE UNCOMMITTED ONES. IF YOU YELL TEQUILA SHOTS! THE PEOPLE THAT
WALK AWAY SUCK AND THE PEOPLE THAT GATHER AROUND ARE YOUR FUTURE
SUPERSTARS. EVEN IF YOURE NOT DRINKING YOULL PREFER PARTIES WITH AN OPEN
BAR. OPEN BARS MEAN MORE HAPPY PEOPLE. AND MORE HAPPY PEOPLE MEANS
BETTER PHOTOS. WHEN YOURE SOBER DONT FORGET THAT OTHER PEOPLE ARENT.
PEOPLE WILL ASK STUPID QUESTIONS LIKE ARE YOU A PHOTOGRAPHER? EVEN WITH A
CAMERA AROUND YOUR NECK. THEYRE NOT BEING SARCASTIC. THEYRE JUST BEING
DRUNK. TREAT DRUNK PEOPLE LIKE THEYRE SEMI-RETARDED OR LIKE THEYRE SMALL
CHILDREN. YOULL GET BETTER PHOTOS THAT WAY AND THATS WHAT YOURE HERE
FOR. LEAVE PEOPLE FEELING GOOD. MAYBE YOU GO OUT 5 NIGHTS A WEEK, BUT MOST
PEOPLE ONLY GO OUT A FEW TIMES A MONTH. DONT JUDGE THEIR BEHAVIOR. TAKE
CARE TO GET THE BEST POSSIBLE PHOTOGRAPH OF THEM THAT YOU CAN. EVEN IF YOU
DONT END UP PUTTING IT UP.

Photographing Groups: Boys VS Girls

She give me this look that she learned from watching Americas Next Top Model.
Sorry. Today darling, you have to unlearn. You look so beautiful when you do
nothing, when you dont pose, when youre just yourself. I want to photograph
the thing I saw before you realized I was lifting the camera to my eye. That look
you had when you were just talking about your dog. Bronques
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THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PHOTOGRAPHING A GROUP OF GIRLS AND

PHOTOGRAPHING A GROUP OF GUYS. MOST GUYS WILL JUST STAND THERE. IF YOURE
LUCKY YOU HAVE SOME BROS AND THEY WILL ACT UP. THEY WILL MIMIC THE HAND
GESTURES THAT THEYVE SEEN IN HEAVY METAL OR HIP HOP VIDEOS. ITS ALWAYS THE
GUYS THAT WILL EXHIBIT THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY FORMS OF FRAT-DOUCHBAGERY.
REGARDLESS OF THEIR SUB-CULTURAL PROGENY. GIRLS HAVE THEIR OWN FORMS OF
LAMENESS. THEY LIKE TO POUT. THEY LIKE DO THE PARIS HILTON SHOULDER POSE.
THEY LIKE TO COVER THEIR FACES IN MOCK-EMBARRASSMENT-CUTENESS. SOMETIMES
THEY GRAB THE CLOSEST FRIEND AVAILABLE. THEY MAKE VICTORY SIGNS LIKE THE
HARIJUKO GIRLS DO. HIGH MAINTENANCE GIRLS WILL APPLY MAKEUP AND TUSSLE
THEIR HAIR BEFORE THEY ALLOW YOU TO TAKE A PHOTO. (WARNING: DONT TRY TO
TAKE A TEST PHOTO DURING THIS PHASE UNLESS YOU WANT TO DIE. THEY WILL SHRIEK
AND COMPLETELY DOUBT YOUR TIMING EXPERTISE.) BUT NO MATTER THE GROUP,
YOURE DOOMED. GROUP PHOTOS ALWAYS YIELD GENERIC RESULTS AT BEST AND LAME
OCEAN DRIVE PORTRAITS AT WORST. THERE IS ONLY ONE BASTION OF SURPRISE
POSSIBLE WITH GROUP PHOTOS: WHEN ITS A GROUP OF FABULOUS GAYS. THEY WILL
MAKE YOUR PHOTOS LOOK LIKE A MOVIE POSTER. SEEK THEM OUT.

The Gay Fabulous

Some party photographers are like a fly on the wall. But sometimes the fly is too
awesome for the wall. Abed from Community, TV Series
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YOU KNOW WHO I LOVE TO SHOOT MORE THAN GIRLS? BOYS WHO ACT LIKE GIRLS. THE
GAY AND FABULOUS. THEY DRESS UP. THEY PUT MAKE-UP ON. THEY LOOK AMAZING.
THEY WILL TELL YOU HOW FABULOUS YOU LOOK. THEY MAKE A LAME CORNER OF A
ROOM FEEL LIKE THE MOST EXCITING CORNER OF YOUR LIFETIME. THEY ARE THE ONES
THAT TRY (AND SUCCEED) TO HAVE SEX IN THE CLUB. THEY ARE THE ONES THAT
ATTRACT HOT GIRLS TO THE PARTY. THEY ARE THE BOYS WHO DANCE. THEY MAKE A
GATHERING LOOK LIKE AN EVENT. EVEN THE JUDGES OF HUNGER GAMES TRY TO LOOK
LIKE THEM. YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY IMPROVES IN DIRECT RELATIONSHIP TO THEIR
PROXIMITY TO YOU. PEOPLE WHO USED TO THINK YOUR PICTURES SUCK WILL SAY
THINGS LIKE FOR SOME REASON IM DRAWN TO YOUR PHOTOS NOW BUT LETS BE
REAL! ITS THE SUBJECT MATTER THATS CARRYING THE DAY. THE GAY FABULOUS ONLY
WEAR AN OUTFIT ONCE. THEY DEPEND ON PHOTOGRAPHERS LIKE YOU TO ARCHIVE
THEIR NIGHTLY CREATIVITY. DONT FUCK IT UP! YOU RISK LOSING THEIR RESPECT
FOREVER. (OK, MAYBE NOT FOREVER: THEY LOVE PHOTOS SO MUCH THAT ITS ALWAYS
EASY TO GET THEIR RESPECT BACK IF YOUR CAMERA IS BIG AND ERECT). AVERAGE
PEOPLE POSE FOR ONE PHOTO AND THEN WALK AWAY. BUT THE GAY FABULOUS
DEMAND YOUR FULL AND UNWAVERING ATTENTION. LET THEM HAVE THE
MINI-PHOTOSHOOT THEY DESERVE! THEY WILL GIVE YOU INTERESTING POSES IN QUICK
SUCCESSION. EACH EXPOSURE WILL BE BETTER THAN THE LAST. CHOOSING THE BEST
ONES LATER WILL BE HELL. THATS WHY THEY ARE A PARTY PHOTOGRAPHERS BEST
FRIEND. EVEN IF YOURE NOT GAY- IF THEY TRY TO MAKE OUT WITH YOU AT THE CLUB,
LET THEM. IF THEY FONDLE YOU, LAUGH. YOULL TAKE BETTER PICTURES THE MOMENT
THAT YOU DECIDE TO LET YOUR OWN FREAK FLAG FLY.

Couples
Fauxtograph. Bronques
(missing image)

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REMEMBER THE AMERICAN GOTHIC PAINTING (1930, GRANT WOOD) AT THE

BEGINNING OF THE BOOK? MOST PARTY PHOTOGRAPHS LOOK LIKE THIS PAINTING:
TWO PEOPLE IN A BORING POSE FACING THE CAMERA. IT MAKES FOR A GREAT
PAINTING, BUT IT MAKES FOR A SHITTY PARTY PHOTOGRAPH. I ADMIT THAT PEOPLE
LOVE HAVING THESE KIND OF PHOTOS. THEY MAKE GREAT FACEBOOK PROFILES.
THEYRE ESSENTIAL IN THEIR WEDDING ALBUMS. BUT UNLESS THE PEOPLE IN THE
PICTURE ARE CELEBRITIES OR PHOTOGENIC, THAT STOIC KIND OF PORTRAIT IS BORING
TO LOOK AT. WITH COUPLES WHY MUST THE GUY GIVE THE MARLBORO MAN POSE
AND HIS GIRLFRIEND MAKE FAWNING FACES AT HIM? TURN THIS CLICH ON ITS HEAD
AND MAKE THE GUY DO THE FAWNING AND MAKE THE GIRL LOOK FIERCE. I ALWAYS
PREFER WHEN WOMEN ARE THE POWERFUL PEOPLE IN MY COUPLE PHOTOGRAPHS. I
DONT WORRY ABOUT THINGS LIKE THE TRUTH OR ABOUT THE REAL NATURE OF THAT
COUPLES RELATIONSHIP. I PHOTOGRAPH COUPLES THE WAY THAT I WANT TO
REMEMBER THEM IN MY BODY OF WORK. GIRL ON TOP.

Crazy People
There are two types of people in the world. There are the exhibitionists and there
are the voyeurs. Bronques
(missing image)
DONT BE AFRAID OF PHOTOGRAPHING CRAZY PEOPLE. SOMETIMES THEY WILL GIVE
YOU THE MOST MEMORABLE SHOTS. IF YOU WANT TO CHANNEL THEIR ENERGY, GIVE
THEM A PROP, BUT DONT TRY TO DIRECT THEM. THEIR IDEAS ARE ALWAYS BETTER
THAN YOURS. WHEN YOURE PHOTOGRAPHING CRAZY PEOPLE OR CRAZY SITUATIONS,
THE FRAME IS LIKELY THE FIRST THING YOU WILL FORGET IN THE HEAT OF THE
MOMENT. MOST PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT PEOPLES FACES WHEN THEY SHOOT. THATS
IMPORTANT OF COURSE BUT YOU SHOULD ALSO BE LOOKING AT ALL THE CORNERS
AND SIDES OF THE FRAME. ARE YOU CUTTING SOMETHING OFF THAT YOU SHOULDNT
BE CUTTING OFF? IS ALL THAT SPACE ON TOP NECESSARY? THE MORE YOU DO THIS
CRUCIAL IN THE MOMENT ANALYSIS, THE FASTER YOU GET AT DOING IT.

A Good Photographer Is A Sadist. A Good Model Is A

Masochist.
I didnt want my picture taken because I was going to cry. I didnt know why I was
going to cry, but I knew that if anybody spoke to me or looked at me too closely

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the tears would fly out of my eyes and the sobs would fly out of my throat and Id
cry for a week. I could feel the tears brimming and sloshing in me like water in a
glass that is unsteady and too full. Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
(missing image)
AFTER YOU TAKE A PHOTO OF SOMEONE IT WILL SOMETIMES HAPPEN THAT THEY
WANT TO SEE THEIR PHOTO. DONT SHOW THEM. THE TIME YOU SPEND LOOKING AT
PHOTOS IS TIME YOU COULD ME MISSING AN EVEN BETTER PHOTOGRAPH. STAY IN THE
MOMENT. I JUST TELL PEOPLE I DONT SHOW PHOTOS BECAUSE IM SUPERSTITIOUS. I
ACTUALLY AM. IM SUPERSTITIOUS THAT I MAY BE MISSING A PHOTO WHILE IM
WASTING TIME LOOKING AT MY CAMERA WITH YOU. BROWSING PARTY PHOTOS ON
YOUR CAMERA IS NOT AN ACTIVITY THAT SHOULD BE HAPPENING AT A PARTY. ITS A
NOSTALGIC LEFT-BRAIN ACTIVITY THAT SHOULD BE TAKING PLACE LATER. WHEN
YOURE AT A PARTY YOU SHOULD BE PARTYING AND SHOOTING. SOMETIMES PEOPLE
JUST WANT TO SEE THEIR PHOTOS OUT OF INSECURITY. IF THE MODEL IS ESPECIALLY
INSECURE BUT KINDA HOT, ILL SHOW A QUICK PHOTO TO HER FRIEND. ITS THE
FASTEST WAY TO NOT HAVE TO SCROLL THROUGH YOUR SHOTS. HER FRIEND WILL NOD
HER HEAD IN APPROVAL AND THE MOMENT CAN NOW CONTINUE WITH EASE. JUST
REASSURE PEOPLE THAT YOU WONT BE PUTTING UP BUSTED PHOTOS OF THEM.
REMIND THEM THAT IT MAKES YOU LOOK BAD TOO. AND ALWAYS LET THEM KNOW
WHERE TO FIND THE PHOTOS. GIVE THEM YOUR CARD WHILE YOU DOUBLE-KISS AND
YOUR EYES ARE ALREADY SCANNING FOR THE NEXT BEAUTIFUL PHOTOGRAPH. IF
SOMEONE DOESNT FEEL COMFORTABLE HAVING THEIR PHOTO ON YOUR CAMERA,
JUST ERASE IT ON THE SPOT. ITS JUST A PHOTO. YOU HAVE HUNDREDS OF BETTER ONES
COMING UP. THE NEXT BEAUTY IS LURKING AROUND THE CORNER AS YOU READ THIS.

Urban Pinups
Everyone is beautiful and sometimes its the photographers job to remind them.
Bronques
(missing image)
THIS EXERPT IS TAKEN FROM THE UPCOMING PHOTOGRAPHY BOOK URBAN PINUPS.
Before LastNightsParty, bathrooms were never considered a viable substitute for a photography
studio. But then again, not every city has the beautiful gritty bathrooms we have in downtown
NYC. A whole new art form had opened itself up.
The first time it happened was by mistake. A beautiful girl I was shooting at DJ Jess Trash party
kept saying Take another one. after each picture. Shed fix her hair and then give me another pose.

THE PARTY

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I couldnt tell if she was unsatisfied by her performance or mine, but she was frantic. As luck would
have it, someone stepped out of the bathroom we happened to be standing next to and she grabbed
my arm and said Lets go in here. She locked the door. Suddenly I saw new a level of freedom
emerge. Her posing came unleashed. I didnt have to say anything. She was directing herself. This
will be better, she said after taking off her top and getting into a suggestive pose. Make my boobs
look huge. Dont get my scar.
The first and only time that I had ever spent in a womans bathroom during a party was at
Transmission. I had to interview Sarah, Karen & Leigh about their new party called Heroine. It
was the only place quiet enough to talk. It was pink. It was clean.
But the Trash bathroom was dirty. It was punk rock. I loved the graffiti, the ripped up stickers
and the shitty paint job. After that first girl, bathrooms became my go-to location whenever a girl
wanted privacy. I had added a new nightlife category to Things You Can Do In A Bar Bathroom
Besides Fucking And Doing Drugs. But the side effects were just as extraordinary. So many of
these secluded moments ended up as a mini-therapy session. Girls would open up about exes, family
problems, struggles at work or whatever else was on their mind. Like I was Oprah. I started featuring
these special photo shoots on my website as Urban Pinups. The pictures were accompanied by a
therapeutic quote from the girl or a short paragraph about the experience. It wasnt long before girls
started asking me if they could be tonights Urban Pinup. Sometimes they came into my makeshift
office in groups of twos and threes. It had become a phenomenon.
The bathroom picture craze extended to Miami eventually. Miami girls bathroom photos were the
wildest. These girls were already half naked in the club so by the time they ended up in front of
a camera they wanted to reach even higher levels of debauchery. Sometimes I would spend the
entire party night stuck in the bathroom. Every girl that came into the club wanted her outrageous
photos. It had become a rite of passage. It was so clich that Roman Jones (who owned half the clubs
in Miami at the time) asked management to paint my name on one of the stalls in the womens
bathroom. This stall was my official photography studio every time I would come to Miami to shoot
parties. Even when I wasnt there girls posed for their own Urban Pinups in there.
Years later, when I made it to Italy for the first time. I found myself in a club where the owner was
a big fan of the Urban Pinup bathroom series. All of his clubs Facebook party photos were taken in
the bathroom because of this. He asked me to be the guest photographer that night. Before I knew it,
there was a line up around the bar of beautiful Italian girls. They all wanted portraits for this weeks
photo gallery. It was a scene. The first girl in line was a former barmaid that had recently become a
pornstar

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EVERYBODY HAS SOMETHING THAT THEY LOVE TO PHOTOGRAPH. LET THAT COME OUT
IN YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS. IF YOU DO SOMETHING THAT YOU LOVE OVER AND OVER
AGAIN IT BECOMES YOUR TRADEMARK. YOU SHOULDNT TRY TO COPY SOMEONE ELSES
TRADEMARK. YOU SHOULD AVOID CLICHES. MY FRIEND RENAUD ALWAYS SAYS: WHAT
MAKES WHAT YOU DO ART IS THAT YOU KEEP FINDING YOURSELF IN THAT UNSCRIPTED
SITUATION OVER AND OVER AGAIN. FIND OUT WHAT ASPECT OF THE PARTY YOU LOVE
TO PHOTOGRAPH. THEN ZERO IN ON THAT. GET TO KNOW IT AND PHOTOGRAPH IT
MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD. BECOME AN EXPERT ABOUT IT. FOR YOU, IT
MIGHT BE PHOTOGRAPHING DRUG USE. OR IT MIGHT BE PHOTOGRAPHING THE DJS. OR
GIRLS WITH CHAMPAGNE BEING POURED ON THEIR FACE. OR MAYBE THE FASHION. OR
REVEALING PORTRAITS. BUT PLEASE GIVE YOUR PARTY PHOTOGRAPHY A VOICE. THAT
WAY YOUR PICTURES BECOME IDENTIFIABLE AS YOURS TO EVERYBODY. I STARTED
TAKING PARTY PHOTOS BEFORE IT WAS A PHENOMENON SO I HAD TO MASTER ALL OF
THE AFFORMENTIONED ANGLES, BUT NOWADAYS THE PARTY PHOTOGRAPHER HAS TO
SPECIALIZE.

Different Cities
I have 99 problems and Miami has 99 solutions. Bronques
(missing image)

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EVERY CITY HAS ITS THING. BUT ITS UP TO YOU TO BRING YOUR THING TO EVERY CITY.
REINFORCE YOUR STYLE BY BEING CONSISTENT EVERYWHERE. DONT COMPLAIN
ABOUT WHAT TIME A CLUB CLOSES. EACH CITY HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM AND LET THE
LOCALS HELP YOU FIND IT. IF A CITYS LAWS MAKES THEM END CLUBBING EARLY, FIND
OUT HOW THE LOCALS HAVE FOUND A WAY TO WORK AROUND IT. PARTIERS ALWAYS
FIND A WAY. AND CONTINUE THE PARTY ELSEWHERE. IN LA, ITS IN THE HILLS.
EVERYTHING IS DONE AT 2AM. AND WHEN I SAY DONE, I MEAN DONE DONE. THE BARS
AND CLUBS ARE CLEARED OUT. LAST CALL IS AT 1:30 AND THEYRE KICKING YOU OUT
THE DOOR AT 1:45. BUT AT LEAST IN LA YOU CAN CONTINUE AT SOMEONES
HOUSE/MANSION IN THE HILLS. AND YOULL PROBABLY BE PARTYING WITH SOMEONE
YOU NORMALLY SEE ON TV. OR DAFT PUNK. THE HILLS, MANSIONS, RICH KIDS AND
OLD MOVIE STARS MAKE FOR AMAZING PICTURES. IN ICELAND, ITS IN THE WOODS.
WHEN THE CLUBS CLOSE PEOPLE JUST FILL THE STREETS DRINKING AND HEAD OUT TO
THE FOREST TO CONTINUE. TREES, BEERS AND NAKED PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS
PHOTOGENIC SCENES. IN SWEDEN, IVE PARTIED ON DAYS WHEN THE SUN NEVER WENT
DOWN. YOU WALKED INTO THE CLUB WITH A BRIGHTLY LIT SKY AND WHEN YOU LEFT
IT WAS STILL A BRIGHTLY LIT SKY. IT LOOKS LIKE THE WHOLE CITY IS DOING A WALK OF
SHAME ALL DAY. IN MIAMI ITS ON A BOAT. MIAMI IS THE REAL SIN CITY OF AMERICA.
WHEN GO TO LAS VEGAS CRAZY STUFF HAPPENS, BUT NEVER IN THE CLUBS. THEY HAVE
TOO MUCH TO LOSE WITH THOSE BILLION DOLLAR LIQUOR LICENSES AND THE STRICT
GAMING LAWS. BUT IN MIAMI ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE RIGHT OUT THERE IN THE OPEN.
MIAMI IS THE PLACE WHERE THEY EXPECT THEIR PARTY PHOTOS TO BE SEXY. EVEN THE
MOST CONSERVATIVE GIRLS DEFAULT POSE IN MIAMI IS ALWAYS SEXUAL. ITS THAT
LATIN INFLUENCE. FOR MOST PEOPLE, WHAT HAPPENS IN MIAMI NEEDS TO STAY IN
MIAMI! EVEN IF YOU ARE COMPLETELY BROKE YOU COULD END UP ON A BOAT WITH
MODELS, CHAMPAGNE AND COCAINE AT SUNRISE. RICH DUDES LOVE TO THROW
AFTER-PARTIES. AND RICH DUDES LOVE THE EFFECT THAT PHOTOGRAPHERS HAVE ON
MODELS. YES, EVERY CITY HAS ITS THING. IF ITS A CITY OR TOWN WHERE THEY SELL
ALCOHOL OR DEAL COCAINE, YOU WILL FIND PEOPLE CHASING THE DRAGON UNTIL
SUNRISE NO MATTER WHAT DAY OF THE WEEK IT IS.

Boyfriends
Your camera should be a chick magnet. Even if youre just shooting dudes.
Bronques
(missing image)

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PEOPLE ALWAYS THINK THAT BOYFRIENDS MUST HATE PHOTOGRAPHERS BECAUSE WE

ARE PHOTOGRAPHING THEIR GIRLFRIENDS. BUT ITS NOT ALWAYS TRUE. BOYFRIENDS
JUST HATE PHOTOGRAPHERS THAT IGNORE THEM AND THEN ZERO IN ON THEIR GIRL
FOR AN HOUR. IF THE BOYFRIEND IS PARTYING WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND DONT
DISRESPECT HIM BY WALKING UP AND TAKING A THOUSAND PICTURES OF HER. TAKE A
FEW PHOTOS OF THEM TOGETHER BEFORE YOU GO HOG WILD WITH THE SOLO SHOTS.
TAKE A FEW OF HIM AND HIS FRIENDS TOO. YOU CAN EDIT THEM ALL OUT LATER IF
THEY TURN OUT TO BE BORING. BUT BRO, SOMETIMES THE BOYFRIEND GIVES BETTER
FACE THAN THE BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND DOES. YOU JUST NEVER KNOW. BEFORE YOU
TAKE TOO MANY PICTURES OF HER, COMPLIMENT HIM ON BEING THE ONE THAT GET TO
LEAVE THE PARTY WITH HER. IVE HAD BOYFRIENDS TELL ME THAT MY PHOTOS WERE
THE BEST FOREPLAY FOR THEM AND THEIR GIRLFRIENDS. IVE HAD BOYFRIENDS SAY
THAT WATCHING ME PHOTOGRAPH THEIR GIRL AND SEEING HOW THEY RESPOND
MADE THEM BUY A CAMERA. IVE HAD BOYFRIENDS SEND ME THANK-YOU EMAILS
AFTER THEY RECEIVED THE SEXY PHOTOS THAT I TOOK OF THEIR LONG-DISTANCE
RELATIONSHIP GIRLFRIEND. THESE ARE THE BOYFRIENDS THAT ARE SECURE. ANY
BOYFRIEND THAT TRIES TO CONTROL A GIRLS BODY AND *NOT * LET HER SHOOT WITH
A PHOTOGRAPHER IS IN A DOOMED RELATIONSHIP ANYWAYS. ALL PHOTOGRAPHERS
ARE PRO-CHOICE. THE JEALOUS BOYFRIEND IS NOT JEALOUS BECAUSE OF PHOTOS OR
BECAUSE OF A PHOTOGRAPHER. THERE ARE OTHER ISSUES GOING ON BETWEEN THEM
THAT ARE OUT OF YOUR CONTROL. GOOD BOYFRIENDS CAN BE YOUR BEST ASSET. WIN
THEM OVER FIRST. THEY OFTEN PAVE THE WAY TO HAVING THEIR SOMETIMES
RELUCTANT (BUT BEAUTIFUL) GIRLFRIENDS OPEN UP TO YOU.

Muses
To take the best nightlife photographs, you cant be in a relationship. You have
to be single, sexual, and most of all detached. You have to be able to respond to
every opportunity that is put in front of you. Taking photos, like everything else,
must become a substitute for love. Bronques
(missing image)

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NORMALS CALL THEM CRUSHES. PAINTERS CALL THEM MUSES. WE CALL THEM FIRE.
EVERY PHOTOGRAPHER SHOULD HAVE A MUSE. A MUSE IS NOT A MODEL. A MUSE IS
NOT TRYING TO GET TFP (TEST FOR PRINT). A MUSE IS A GO-TO PERSON FOR WHEN
YOU WANT TO TRY NEW IDEAS. THEY DONT CARE ABOUT THE RESULTS AS LONG AS
YOURE HAPPY. A MUSE IS A PERSON YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH WHEN THEY ARE IN
FRONT OF YOUR CAMERA. IT IS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. YOU LOVE THEM WITH OR
WITHOUT MAKE-UP. YOU LOVE THEM FRESH OR HUNG-OVER. YOU LOVE THEM WHEN
THEYRE UPSET OR ECSTATIC. YOU CAN PHOTOGRAPH THEM EVEN WHEN THE
BACKGROUND MUSIC IS BAD MAINROOM HOUSE. YOURE INSPIRED EVEN IF THE ONLY
SOUNDTRACK IS A BROKEN AIR-CONDITIONER. A MUSE GIVES YOU IDEAS BY THEIR
MERE PRESENCE. A MUSE WILL TEACH YOU THINGS YOU COULDNT LEARN OTHERWISE.
BECAUSE YOURE COMFORTABLE WITH THEM. THESE ARE THE DISCOVERIES YOU WILL
USE WITH COMPLETE STRANGERS LATER. YOU LOVE YOUR MUSE WITH CLOTHES,
WITHOUT CLOTHES AND EVERY SINGLE POINT IN-BETWEEN. BECAUSE YOU KNOW THE
TRUTH: YOUR MUSE IS ALWAYS SPIRITUALLY NAKED WITH YOU. A MUSE MAKES YOU A
BETTER PHOTOGRAPHER WHEN THEY ARE THE ONE IN FRONT OF YOUR CAMERA. YOU
NEVER NEED A SHOT LIST OR PREPARATION WHEN YOU PHOTOGRAPH YOUR MUSE.
EVEN WHEN YOURE NOT DRINKING IT FEELS LIKE YOURE DRUNK WHEN YOURE
TAKING PHOTOS OF YOUR MUSE. A MUSE MAKES YOU RUN OUT OF FILM, RUN OUT OF
BATTERIES OR RUN OUT OF MEMORY CARD SPACE EVERYTIME. THATS THE ONLY WAY
YOU REMEMBER TO STOP. A MUSE KNOWS SHES YOUR MUSE AND HARDLY EVER
WANTS TO TAKE PHOTOS WITH OTHER PHOTOGRAPHERS. ITS JUST NOT THE SAME.
SHE NEVER GIVES THEM THE MAGIC THAT SHE GIVES YOU. SHE KNOWS THAT YOU MAKE
THEM LOOK BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE. SHE KNOWS THAT YOUR
MUSE/PHOTOGRAPHER RELATIONSHIP IS THE STUFF OF LEGENDS.

The Three Graces

My soulmate will be the one that I can photograph without putting any music
on. Bronques
(missing image)

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AVOID THE MIAMI POSE. GIRLS IN MIAMI DEFAULT INTO A POSE WHERE THEY ALL HUG
EACH OTHER IN LINEUP FORMATION. THOSE POSES MAKE YOUR PARTY PHOTOS LOOK
LAME. THE MIAMI POSE HAS TRICKLED INTO NIGHTLIFE PHOTOGRAPHY ALL OVER THE
WORLD. I BLAME OCEAN DRIVE MAGAZINE. NO MATTER HOW BEAUTIFUL THE GIRLS
ARE, PHOTOS LIKE THIS SUCK. THOSE PHOTOS BARELY EVEN REGISTER WHEN YOURE
LOOKING THROUGH A GALLERY. IT MAKES THE HOTTEST GIRLS SEEM ORDINARY. WHEN
GIRLS ARE TAKING PHOTOS WITH OTHER GIRLS ENCOURAGE THEM NOT TO TOUCH
EACH OTHER. ENCOURAGE THEM TO POSE ALMOST AS IF THEY WERE TAKING THE
PORTRAIT ALONE. THERE IS NO REASON THAT ALL GIRLS SHOULD BE IN THE
FOREGROUND. OF COURSE, WHEN YOU PLACE SOME GIRLS IN THE BACKGROUND,
THEYLL AUTOMATICALLY THINK ITS BECAUSE THEYRE NOT ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH. SO
YOULL HAVE TO NAVIGATE THIS FOREGROUND-BACKGROUND NECESSITY WITH
FINESSE. BUT IT ALWAYS MAKES FOR A BETTER PHOTOGRAPH THAN THE EXCRUCIATING
MIAMI POSE. ALSO, MAKE SURE THAT TALL GIRLS DONT CROUCH DOWN TO TRY TO BE
ON THE SAME LEVEL AS THEIR SHORTER FRIENDS. SUDDENLY EVERYONE IS DOING THIS
CROUCHING THING AND IT LOOKS BAD. IT DOESNT MAKE THEM LOOK LESS TALL, IT
JUST MAKES THEM LOOK HUNCHED AND UNATTRACTIVE. OR LIKE THEYRE GOING FOR
A SHIT. GIRLS ALSO LOVE TO MOVE THEIR BODIES IN THE DIRECTION OF OTHER GIRLS
EVEN WHEN YOUVE DIRECTED THEM TO STOP TOUCHING EACH OTHER. LET THEM
KNOW THAT IT DOESNT LOOK POWERFUL. ENCOURAGE THEM TO ASSUME A SOLITARY
CONCENTRATED POSE. IT TAKES MORE TIME TO ARRANGE A GROUP OF GIRLS IN AN
ORIGINAL FORMATION BUT IT IS ALWAYS WORTH THE EFFORT.

The Perfect Soundtrack

With images, youve got to give people what they cant get at home. Make them
travel in their minds Diana Vreeland
(missing image)

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DONT TAKE PICTURES AT A PARTY WHERE YOU HATE THE MUSIC. NO MATTER HOW
GOOD LOOKING OR CRAZY THE PEOPLE ARE. IF YOU DONT HAVE A SOUNDTRACK
YOURE IN LOVE WITH, YOUR PHOTOS WILL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS THEY SHOULD BE. IF
YOU ARENT INSPIRED BY TECHNO YOULL GET BETTER PHOTOS THAN THE RAVE
PHOTOGRAPHER. SURE, YOU MIGHT GET A FEW PHOTOS OF SOME HOT PEOPLE. BUT
YOULL SPEND THE REST OF THE TIME DRINKING AND WONDERING WHY YOURE SO
MISERABLE. MEANWHILE, THE RAVE PHOTOGRAPHER IS GETTING THE MOST AMAZING
SHOTS JUST A FEW FEET AWAY FROM YOU. TAKE PHOTOS OF YOUR SCENE AKA THE
SCENE WITH THE MUSIC YOU LOVE. YOU NEED TO PUT EVERYTHING ON YOUR SIDE
WHEN YOURE TAKING PARTY PHOTOS. AN INSPIRING SOUNDTRACK DEFINITELY HELPS
CREATIVITY. THE ONLY REASON I WAS ABLE TO CROSS INTO A LOT OF DIFFERENT
GENRES AS A PHOTOGRAPHER IS BECAUSE OF MY BACKGROUND IN MUSIC. I HAD AN
EQUAL LOVE FOR POP, ELECTRO, HIP-HOP, INDUSTRIAL, GOTH, AND METAL. THE ONLY
MUSIC I CANT STAND IS HOUSE (NON-VOCAL) BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE A METRONOME
TO ME. 4 ON THE FLOOR HOUSE BRINGS BACK NIGHTMARES OF HAVING TO PRACTICE
PIANO WITH A METRONOME AS A KID. IVE TRIED IT. IVE BEEN INVITED TO
PHOTOGRAPHING SOME OF THE BEST PARTIES AT WMC THAT PLAY HOUSE. IVE GONE
TO SUPPORT DJ FRIENDS PLAYING HOUSE SETS AT THE TOP CLUBS IN NEW YORK CITY.
BUT MY PHOTOS WERE ALWAYS LACKLUSTER. HOUSE MUSIC IS MY KRYPTONITE. EVERY
SCENE HAS ITS BRAND OF PHOTOGRAPHY. IN SOME SCENES YOULL BE TRYING TO
PHOTOGRAPH THE DEBAUCHERY. IN SOME OTHER SCENES YOULL BE PHOTOGRAPHING
THE FASHION. DONT TRY TO DO EVERYTHING, JUST PICK YOUR ANGLE AND YOUR
MUSIC AND DO IT WELL. MY INITIAL GOAL AS A PHOTOGRAPHER WAS TO MAKE YOU
SEE THE MUSIC WHILE YOU LOOKED AT MY PHOTOGRAPHS. BUT THATS BECAUSE OF MY
MUSIC BACKGROUND. IF YOU COME FROM A FASHION BACKGROUND MAYBE ALL YOU
CARE ABOUT IS THE SARTORIAL ANGLE. DONT TRY TO DO IT ALL. AND DONT TRY TO DO
IT WITH MUSIC YOU HATE PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND. KNOW YOUR KRYPTONITE.

Fashion Shows & Bands

If you walk like the hunchback of Notre-Dame and youre only 22, you are of no
service to fashion. Please go. Bronques
(missing image)

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PHOTOGRAPHING FASHION IS THE SAME AS PHOTOGRAPHING BANDS- YOURE TRYING

TO PHOTOGRAPH SOMEONE ELSES CREATIVITY. ONCE YOU GET A FEW PHOTOS OF
WHAT IS HAPPENING DOWN THE RUNWAY OR ON STAGE, YOU SHOULD TURN YOUR
ATTENTION BACK TO EVERYTHING ELSE. EVERYTHING ELSE MEANS THE PEOPLE.
BEFORE THE FASHION SHOW STARTS AND RIGHT AFTER IT ENDS ARE THE CRUCIAL
TIMES FOR YOU TO GET PHOTOS OF THE FUN. FOR A BAND THE CRUCIAL TIME IS AFTER
THE FANS HAVE FORGOTTEN YOURE THERE BECAUSE THEIR FAVORITE SONG IS FINALLY
PLAYING. BUT LETS BE HONEST. ALL YOU SHOULD REALLY BE CONCERNED ABOUT THE
WHOLE TIME IS THE AFTERPARTY. WHO ARE THE PEOPLE HERE THAT WILL BE THERE?
INVITE THE MODELS. INVITE THE GROUPIES WHO ARENT TOO THIRSTY. THE PHOTOS OF
THE SHOW ARE JUST FOR VARIETY, DOCUMENTATION AND CONTEXT.

When The Party Sucks

One night can be more interesting than a whole year Bronques
(missing image)
IVE NEVER BEEN TO TWO BAD PARTIES IN A ROW. SO I ALWAYS FEEL OK WHEN IM AT A
PARTY THAT SUCKS BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THE NEXT ONE WILL BE GREAT. A BAD
PARTY IS A GOOD TIME TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH THE REGULARS YOU NEVER
GET TO TALK TO. ITS MORE IMPORTANT THAT YOU GO OUT EVERY NIGHT THAN TRYING
TO GO TO THE BEST PARTIES. YOU HAVE TO KEEP THAT MOMENTUM. MOMENTUM IS
WHAT GETS YOU THE BEST PARTY PHOTOS. PEOPLE CAN FEEL MOMENTUM ENERGY
FROM YOU AS SOON AS YOU ENTER A ROOM. THEYLL WANT YOU TO PHOTOGRAPH
THEM EVEN IF THEYVE NEVER MET YOU BEFORE. THEY WILL SENSE THAT YOU DO THIS
ALL THE TIME. BECAUSE YOU DO. YOUR WHOLE BODY WILL CONVEY THAT PARTYING IS
SECOND NATURE ENERGY. YOUR FLICKS OF THE WRIST WILL START TO LOOK LIKE
MAGIC.

Celebrity
I believe fundamentally in a mans right to party. Piers Morgan to Conan OBrian
about Charlie Sheen
(missing image)

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WHY DO YOU WANT TO PHOTOGRAPH A CELEBRITY? CELEBRITIES ARE OVER-EXPOSED.

WHY CONTRIBUTE TO MORE OF THE EDITORIAL TRASH THATS OUT THERE? WHEN
CELEBRITIES ARE IN THE ROOM ALL THE PHOTOGRAPHERS SURROUND THEM LIKE
VULTURES. THEY ARE ALL HOPING TO GET THE SAME SHOT THAT THE OTHER
PHOTOGRAPHERS AROUND THEM ARE GETTING. IF YOURE TRYING TO TAKE AMAZING
PARTY PHOTOS, A CELEBRITY IS USUALLY THE LEAST LIKELY TO GIVE THAT TO YOU.
PHOTOGRAPHING A CELEBRITY AGAINST A STEP AND REPEAT BACKGROUND IS AN
ENERGY DRAIN. ITS GREAT FOR PEOPLE MAGAZINE, BUT BORING AS A PARTY PHOTO. IF
YOU CANT ESTABLISH A RAPPORT WITH A CELEBRITY BECAUSE YOU ONLY HAVE 2
SECONDS, THE PHOTO WILL SHOW IT. IF YOU MANAGE TO TAKE A PHOTO OF A
CELEBRITY BUT THEY DONT LOOK GOOD, YOU SHOULDNT SHARE IT. APPLY THE SAME
CRITERIA WITH CELEBRITY THAT YOU WOULD WITH ANYONE ELSE. YOURE NOT
PAPARAZZI. YOU DONT GET BONUS POINTS FOR TAKING PHOTOS OF TAYLOR SWIFT OR
THE WEEKND. UNLESS YOURE GETTING GREAT PHOTOS THAT NO ONE ELSE HAS. WHEN
CELEBRITIES ARE IN THE ROOM, THATS THE BEST TIME TO PHOTOGRAPH EVERYONE
ELSE! PEOPLE GET RECEPTIVE TO PHOTOS WHEN CELEBRITIES ARE AROUND. THEY
SUDDENLY FEEL LIKE A CELEBRITY TOO. WHILE EVERYONES ATTENTION IS ON THE VIP
CORNER, YOURE NOW LIKELY TO GET PHOTOS THAT THE OTHER PHOTOGRAPHERS
DONT HAVE. ARENT THOSE THE ONES YOU WANT? PHOTOS OF NON-FAMOUS PEOPLE
DOING INTERESTING THINGS ARE BETTER THAN PHOTOS OF FAMOUS PEOPLE DOING
UNINTERESTING THINGS. BUT SOMETIMES YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO TAKE THAT
CELEBRITY PHOTO RIGHT? SOMETIMES THE CELEBRITY IS ACTUALLY MAKING THE PARTY
AMAZING BECAUSE THEY HAVE GOOD PARTY ENERGY. SOMETIMES THE CELEBRITY IS
ACTUALLY A STAR (MADONNA IS A STAR, KIM KARDASHIAN IS A CELEBRITY). IF THEY FIT
THAT CRITERIA YOU WOULD USE FOR DECIDING WHETHER OR NOT TO APPROACH A
REGULAR PERSON, THEN GO FOR IT. BUT DO IT WITHOUT YOUR CAMERA. LET YOUR
FRIEND HOLD YOUR CAMERA FOR A MINUTE AND BE CASUAL. PEOPLE FEEL LESS
ATTACKED WHEN YOURE NOT COMING AT THEM WITH YOUR BIG CAMERA. WHEN THE
FIRST TIME THEY MEET YOU ISNT THROUGH AN ONSLAUGHT OF FLASHES. THEYRE JUST
TRYING TO HAVE A FEW DRINKS WITH A FEW FRIENDS AND THEIR PUBLICIST. THE
PUBLICIST WILL BE THE ONE TO TRY SHUT YOU DOWN. ITS THEIR JOB TO SHUT YOU
DOWN SO THAT THE CELEBRITY CAN ACT LIKE GOOD COP. THE MORE YOU SEEM LIKE
A FAN AND THE SMALLER YOUR CAMERA IS, THE BETTER. AND IF YOUVE BEEN TAKING
THIS BOOKS ADVICE SERIOUSLY AND TREATING REGULAR PEOPLE LIKE THE
CELEBRITIES THEY ARE, YOULL HAVE GIVEN YOURSELF THE BEST EDGE: YOULL BE ABLE
TO GET YOUR SHOT WITH THE FIRST OR SECOND EXPOSURE. THEN MOVE ON. IF YOU
NEED MORE THAN TWO OR THREE SHOTS TO GET A PORTRAIT, YOU SUCK. GO BACK TO
CHAPTER ONE.

Get An Assistant
Every couple of days I get an email where someone asks Whats the concept
behind Last Nights Party? If you read Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice

THE PARTY

34

Sendak, its practically my memoirs. Bronques

(missing image)
YOURE GETTING FAMOUS NOW. PEOPLE KNOW YOUR WORK. GET A GOOD ASSISTANT.
A GOOD ASSISTANT IS SOMEONE WHO IS UNIMPRESSED BY THE PARTY SCENE. YOU
DONT WANT AN ASSISTANT WHO FREAKS OUT EVERY TIME THEY SEE CELEBRITIES,
NAKED PEOPLE, DRUGS, OR THAT GETS DISTRACTED WHEN THEY HEAR THE NEW HOT
REMIX, OR HAS A PANIC ATTACK WHEN THE POLICE SHUTS DOWN THE CLUB. A GOOD
ASSISTANT IS NOT AFRAID OF AUTHORITY FIGURES. THEYRE GOOD AT STALLING
PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO STOP YOU FROM TAKING PHOTOS. YOUR ASSISTANT
SHOULD BE THE OPPOSITE GENDER AS YOU. TOGETHER YOU SHOULD EXUDE YIN AND
YANG. YOULL RUN INTO SITUATION WHERE YOU NEED THE OPPOSING ENERGY. IF A
CUTE BOY NEEDS CONVINCING AND YOURE NOT MAKING ANY PROGRESS SEND IN
YOUR FEMALE ASSISTANT. ASSISTANTS ARE CRUCIAL IF YOURE EVER GOING TO HAVE
FUN AT A PARTY. YOU CANT WASTE TIME AT A BAR TRYING TO GET A DRINK. YOU
COULD BE LOSING UPWARDS OF 25-50 GOOD PHOTOS. A GOOD ASSISTANT WILL GET
THE DRINK TICKETS FROM THE PROMOTER. THEY WILL ALSO GET YOUR DRINK (AND
THEIRS TOO - ONE OF THE PERKS) WHILE YOURE SHOOTING BEAUTIFUL FACES. AND
BECAUSE THEYRE NOT ALWAYS WHERE YOU ARE THEY MAY SEE THINGS THAT YOU MAY
HAVE MISSED. LIKE CELEBRITIES (IF YOURE STILL INTO THAT AFTER THE LAST CHAPTER).
OR YOUR FUTURE MUSE. OR AN AMAZING OUTFIT. OR A HOT MODEL THAT IS LEAVING
THE PARTY EARLY. OR SOME SECRET ROOM. GOOD ASSISTANTS MINGLE WITH THE
GUESTS. THEY HEAR ABOUT THE AFTERPARTIES WHILE YOURE BUSY TAKING PICTURES
OF A PORNSTAR IN THE BATHROOM. THEY HAVE CAB MONEY READY (YOULL
REIMBURSE THEM LATER OF COURSE) FOR THOSE TIMES WHEN YOU START SHOOTING
ONE OF YOUR MUSES WHO JUST RUSHED TO HUG YOU AS YOURE PULLING UP TO THE
CLUB. IF ITS AN UBER THEY EXCHANGE NICETIES WHILE YOURE BUSY BEING YOU WITH
A BEAUTY SO THAT YOUR UBER STARS DONT GO DOWN. A GOOD ASSISTANT IS THE
PERFECT EXTENSION OF YOU. THEY MAY NOT BE PRESSING THE SHUTTER, BUT SOME OF
THOSE PHOTOS WOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPEN IF THEY WERENT AROUND. WHEN YOU
FIND A GOOD ONE, TREAT THEM LIKE GOLD.

Photographing Girls After A Breakup

That picture just became a photograph. Josh Madden (walking by me as I
photograph an internet celebrity)
(missing image)

THE PARTY

35

A PARTY PHOTOGRAPHER HAS MANY SOCIAL ROLES. ONE OF THEM IS MAKING EXES
JEALOUS AFTER A BREAK-UP. YOU ARE THE ONE THAT WILL BE DOCUMENTING THOSE
FIRST IMAGES OF HER HAVING FUN DURING HER FIRST NIGHT OUT SINGLE. TREAT IT
LIKE ITS A PHOTO SHOOT FOR VANITY FAIR. THE PHOTOS MUST BE CONVINCING! EVEN
IF IT TAKES FOREVER TO SET UP A SHOT. EVEN IF YOUR MODEL IS COMPLAINING ABOUT
HOLDING SOME UNCOMFORTABLE POSITION. OR BITCHING THAT ITS TOO COLD OR
WHATEVER. ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOU GET THE SHOT. GIRLS ALWAYS FORGET ABOUT
THE PAIN OR EFFORT THAT WENT INTO TAKING THE PHOTO WHEN THE PHOTO IS
AWESOME. DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING BELOW PERFECTION WITH WOMEN. THEY
WILL BE CRITICAL OF THEIR PHOTOS (AND EACH OTHERS) LATER. MAKE SURE THEY
LOOK LIKE GODDESSES. THEY ALL ARE.

The Burning Of The Bra

Naked is always in fashion. Bronques
(missing image)

36

THE PARTY

FEMINISTS LIKE TO POINT TO PARTY PHOTO WEBSITES AS PRIME EXAMPLES OF HOW

LITTLE PROGRESS THE MOVEMENT HAS MADE. I THINK ITS THE OPPOSITE. THE CRAZIER
A GIRL CAN BE WITHOUT SOCIAL REPERCUSSIONS THE NEXT DAY IS HOW ADVANCED
THE FEMINIST MOVEMENT IS. IT SEEMS LIKE THE ONES THAT ARE MOST CRITICAL OF
GIRLS DOING WHATEVER THEY FEEL LIKE DOING AND JUDGING THEM AFTERWARDS ARE
OTHER FEMINISTS. LASTNIGHTSPARTY IS LIKE THE BURNING OF THE BRA. WHEN GIRLS
DO CRAZY THINGS, SOMETIMES THEYRE REBELLING AGAINST OUR PATERNAL SOCIETY
AND OTHER TIMES THEYRE JUST HAVING FUN. TAKING SCANDALOUS PICTURES IS FUN.
ITS THE PARTY VERSION OF SKINNY DIPPING. YOU DO A LITTLE RISQUE THING, OOH LA
LA, AND THEN YOU GO BACK TO REAL LIFE THE NEXT DAY. WHEN GUYS DO CRAZY
THINGS AT PARTIES, THEYRE APPLAUDED. WHEN GIRLS DO CRAZY THINGS AT PARTIES
THERES AN INQUISITION? I THOUGHT THE ULTIMATE GOAL OF FEMINISM WAS FOR
WOMEN TO BE IN CONTROL OF THEIR BODIES? IVE PHOTOGRAPHED THOUSANDS OF
GIRLS NAKED. IVE BEEN CELEBRATING DIVERSITY OF WOMENS BODIES FOR YEARS.
JUDGING BY THE EMAILS, THE TEXTS AND PHONE CALLS IVE GOTTEN AFTERWARDS, IT
WAS A LIBERATING OR MOVING OR SIMPLY FUN EXPERIENCE FOR THESE WOMEN.
UNTIL THE CRITICS ARRIVE. THE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK HAS ALWAYS COME FROM PEOPLE
WHO WERENT THERE. PEOPLE WHO JUDGE THEM AFTERWARDS. BOYFRIENDS,
BEST-FRIENDS, PARENTS, CO-WORKERS AND YEAH, EVEN COMPLETE STRANGERS. OH
DONT GET IT TWISTED, THEY GET TONS OF POSITIVE FEEDBACK TOO OF COURSE.
MOSTLY POSITIVE. BUT YOU KNOW, THE NEGATIVE VOICES OF SOCIETY RING SO MUCH
LOUDER THESE DAYS. NEGATIVITY SETS THE SOCIAL NETWORKS ABLAZE AND EVERYONE
WANTS TO GETS THOSE LIKES AND BE CLEVER AT THE EXPENSE OF EVERYTHING, EVEN
THE TRUTH. WOMEN ARE ALREADY IN A POSITION WHERE SOCIETY MAKES THEM
INSECURE ABOUT SO MANY THINGS. SOCIAL MEDIA FEMINISTS NEED TO CHILL OUT. DO
A PINUP PHOTOSHOOT SOMETIME. ITS FUN. SUPPOSEDLY, MY VOICE ISNT VALID
BECAUSE IM A GUY. THE MALE GAZE THEY CALL IT IN FEMINIST CIRCLES. WHATEVER.
WHEN I HEAR SOME OF SOCIAL MEDIA FEMINISTS TALK, I FEEL LIKE THEYRE THE ONES
TAKING FEMINISM BACK 100 YEARS. I KNOW YOU WANNA FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT LIKE
LENA DUNHAM. I KNOW YOU WANNA BE COOL LIKE LENA DUNHAM. BUT WHAT MAKES
HER COOL IS THAT SHE THINKS FOR HERSELF. I DONT SEE WHY EACH PERSON CANT
PRACTICE THEIR BRAND OF LIBERATION AND HAVE IT BE RESPECTED BY OTHERS. ITS
2015. WERE TWENTY YEARS AWAY FROM SINGULARITY PEOPLE! ARE WE WAITING FOR
ROBOTS TO GIVE US THE FREEDOM TO BE NAKED IN A PHOTOGRAPH? FEMINISM
WORTH FIGHTING FOR IS FEMINISM WHERE A WOMAN CAN DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS,
EVEN MAKE MISTAKES, WITHOUT THE FEAR OF BEING JUDGED BY OTHER FEMINISTS.

I Have 36 Sarahs In My Address Book

** Theres only three types of party girls: girls with one expression, girls with
many expressions and girls with no expression. Bronques**
(missing image)

THE PARTY

37

GIRLS RULE THE NIGHTLIFE. THAT IS WHY THEY ARE ON ALL THE FLYERS. THATS WHY
THERES SPECIAL NIGHTS MADE JUST FOR THEM. THATS WHY THEY GET IN FIRST IF
THERES A LINE. THATS WHY THEY GET IN FOR FREE AND BOYS HAVE TO PAY. THATS
WHY THEIR BATHROOMS ARE CLEANER. WITHOUT GIRLS THERE IS NO PARTY. EVEN A
GAY PARTY ISNT EVERYTHING IT CAN BE WITHOUT A FEW FAG HAGS AND THE
FEMININE ENERGY THAT DRAG QUEENS BRING IN. MY FAVORITE GIRLS ARE THOSE WHO
KNOW THAT THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL BUT ALSO KNOW THAT IT ISNT ENOUGH. I TOLERATE
MODELS BECAUSE MY AUDIENCE LOVES THEM. BUT MOST OF THEM BORE ME. AS A
PHOTOGRAPHER YOU SHOULD KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PRETTY PICTURES
AND PARTY PICTURES. ONCE YOUVE ESTABLISHED THAT SOMEONE CAN LOOK
PRETTY, TAKE RISKS. ITS OK IF PEOPLE LOOK LESS THAN PERFECT IF IT LOOKS LIKE
THEYRE HAVING FUN. SOMETIMES GIRLS WORRY THAT AFTER DANCING THEY LOOK
LIKE SHIT. REMIND THEM OF THAT DEODORANT AD BOYS SWEAT, GIRLS GLISTEN
GIRLS RULE THE NIGHTLIFE. THATS WHY WHEN YOU TAKE PHOTOS OF A GIRL YOU
HAVE TO MAKE SURE IT LOOKS AMAZING. WORD WILL SPREAD LIKE A VIRUS IF YOU
TAKE SHITTY PHOTOS OF GIRLS. YOUR CAREER WILL BE DEAD. BUT IF CHICKS LOVE
YOUR PHOTOS, YOU WILL BE A LOCAL HERO. THEY WILL DANCE AROUND YOU WAITING
FOR THEIR CHANCE TO GET PHOTOGRAPHED BY YOU. THEY WILL WEAR A SPECIAL
OUTFIT HOPING TO GET IN FRONT OF YOUR CAMERA TONIGHT. THEY WILL EVEN HAVE
SEX WITH YOU SO THAT YOU CAN MAKE THEM LOOK SPECIAL. BUT STILL, DONT SHOW
GIRLS PHOTOS RIGHT AFTER YOU TAKE THEM. STAY IN THE MOMENT. OKAY, YOU CAN
BREAK THE RULE OF NEVER SHOWING PICTURES IF YOURE DOING A
MINI-PHOTOSHOOT WITH A GIRL IN THE CLUB IF THATS WHAT ITLL TAKE TO MAKE
THEM COMFORTABLE. SOMETIMES. BUT ONLY IF SHES NOT A BITCH ABOUT IT. IF SHES
IN THE PHOTO WITH A BOY, HIS OPINION DOESNT MATTER: THE GIRL IS THE ONE WHO
PICKS IF A PHOTOGRAPH WORKS OR NOT. GUYS CAN HAVE THEIR EYES CLOSED AND
PEOPLE STILL MIGHT THINK HE LOOKS CUTE. BUT GIRLS ALWAYS HAVE TO LOOK FIERCE.
OTHER GIRLS WILL BE LOOKING AT THESE PHOTOS AND JUDGING THEM FOR A WEEK.
EVERY PARTY GIRL KNOWS THAT YOURE ONLY AS GOOD AS YOUR LAST PICTURE. GIRLS
READ INTO PICTURES LIKE THEYRE NOVELS. KNOW YOUR SUBJECT. A PHOTOGRAPHER
CAN GUESS A GIRLS AGE BY HOW SHES POSING FOR PICTURES IN A CLUB. A YOUNG
GIRL WILL ALWAYS WANT TO DO SOMETHING SILLY WITH HER LIPS. SHE WILL POUT OR
PURSE THEM OR USE HER TONGUE TO LICK SOMEONE OR SOME THING. SHELL STICK
OUT HER CHEST EVEN IF SHE DOESNT HAVE ANY TITS. AN OLDER CHICK WILL BE MORE
CONCERNED WITH HER OUTFIT, HER HAIR, AND MAKING SURE HER ARMS DONT LOOK
FAT AND FRET ABOUT WHO SHES IN THE PICTURE WITH. IT ISNT AN EXACT SCIENCE,
BUT IT HELPS TO KNOW THESE THINGS. IM NOT TALKING ABOUT PHYSICAL AGE. IM
TALKING ABOUT HER CLUB AGE. EVEN A COUGAR WHO IS STARTING (OR RE-IGNITING)
HER PARTYING DAYS IN HER MID-30S (IT HAPPENS!) WILL BEHAVE THE SAME WAY IN
PHOTOS AS A 17 YEAR OLD THATS JUST DISCOVERED NIGHTLIFE.

THE PARTY

38

Other Photographers: Etiquette

Youve made it when your name becomes a verb. Bronques
(missing image)
IF A PHOTOGRAPHER IS TAKING A PHOTO, ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE SETTING
SOMETHING SPECIAL UP, DONT JUST BARGE INTO THEIR SET-UP AND TAKE THE
PHOTOGRAPH. THATS RUDE. YOU SHOULDNT BE STANDING ANYWHERE NEAR OTHER
PHOTOGRAPHERS WHEN YOURE AT THE SAME PARTY. I KNOW HOW TEMPTING IT IS TO
TALK ABOUT LENSES OR ABOUT HOW GOOD OR BAD THE PARTY IS. OR ABOUT A COOL
PHOTO YOU TOOK LAST WEEK. BUT PHOTOGRAPHERS SHOULD BE AS FAR AS POSSIBLE
FROM EACH OTHER AT NIGHT. TOO MANY FLASHES FROM DIFFERENT CAMERAS GOING
OFF IN THE SAME AREA BECOMES INTRUSIVE AND ANNOYING. ESPECIALLY TO PEOPLE
WHO ARENT IN THE PHOTOGRAPH. YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING. YOUR
JOB IS TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL GOOD NOT TO ANNOY THEM. IF THERE ARE A LOT OF
PHOTOGRAPHERS IN THE SAME CLUB, ITS OK FOR YOU NOT TO TAKE PHOTOGRAPHS.
ITS OK TO LEAVE AND GO TO ANOTHER PARTY. THERES NO RULE THAT SAYS THAT YOU
HAVE TO USE A CAMERA JUST BECAUSE ITS IN YOUR HANDS. WHEN YOU PRESS THE
SHUTTER THERE SHOULD BE A REASON. THAT REASON SHOULD NEVER BE TO FEED
YOUR EGO. FIND THE PHOTOS THAT NOONE ELSE ARE TAKING. FIND THE
UNPHOTOGRAPHED PEOPLE. FIND THE UNUSED AREAS. IF THIS BECOMES YOUR
PHILOSOPHY, YOUR PHOTOS WILL ALWAYS BE DIFFERENT FROM EVERYONE ELSES. THE
PARTY PHOTOGRAPHY FIELD IS CROWDED NOW. STICK OUT. BUT REMEMBER, OTHER
PHOTOGRAPHERS ARE NOT YOUR ENEMY. ESPECIALLY NOT THE GOOD ONES BECAUSE
THEY DONT WANT THE SAME PHOTOS AS YOU EITHER. THE GOOD ONES ARE YOUR
ALLIES. IN ESTABLISHING DIFFERENT TERRITORY, YOU HELP THEM AS WELL AS
YOURSELF. ITS LIKE GANG SHIT IN OLD NEW YORK CITY BUT WITHOUT THE GUNS.
BEING FRIENDS WITH OTHER PHOTOGRAPHERS IS IMPORTANT. THEYRE THE ONES THAT
WILL COME THROUGH WITH EXTRA BATTERIES OR 35MM FILM IF YOU RUN OUT. SOME
OF THE GOOD ONES OUT THERE CAN TEACH YOU THINGS JUST BY WATCHING THEM.

The Clubs Staff

Always kiss party people on both cheeks like the French do. Avoid kissing people
on all four cheeks like the wannabes do. Bronques
(missing image)

THE PARTY

39

YOU MAY THINK THAT PHOTOGRAPHING THE PRETTY PEOPLE AT THE PARTY IS THE
ONLY THING YOU NEED TO DO TO GET GOOD PARTY PHOTOS? NO YOUR JOB IS ONLY
PARTLY DONE. YOU SHOULD GET PHOTOS OF EVERYBODY. THE COATCHECK GIRL, THE
BARTENDERS, THE BUSBOYS, THE DOORMEN, SECURITY, THE OWNER EVERYBODY.
THE FRONT COVER OF MY FIRST BOOK IS OF TWO HOT GIRLS (THE TWO SARAHS), THE
BACK COVER OF MY BOOK IS OF A HOT BUSBOY (PATRICK). PATRICK BECAME A DJ IN HIS
OWN RIGHT AND IS PART OF NYCS TROUBLE AND BASS. ITS NOT JUST THE PARTIERS
THAT WILL GIVE YOU GREAT PHOTOS SO START TO THINK BIGGER. BUT WHEN YOURE
PHOTOGRAPHING STAFF, YOU NEED TACT. DONT FORGET THAT THEYRE WORKING! YOU
DONT WANT TO UPSET ANYONE THAT CAN MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE FOR YOU FOR
THE REST OF THE NIGHT. STAFF ARE YOUR POTENTIAL PHOTOGRAPHIC ALLIES IF YOU
PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT. THEY ARE NEVER WORTH PISSING OFF. NO MATTER HOW
GOOD THE SHOT YOU THINK YOURE ABOUT TO GET IS. IF YOU DO GET PERMISSION TO
TAKE PHOTOS OF THEM (OR AROUND THEM SECURITY IS SOMETIMES TOUCHY), MAKE
SURE THOSE PHOTOS ARE GREAT. PEOPLE WORKING AT PARTIES HAVE LONG
MEMORIES. WHEN THIS PARTY HAS RUN ITS COURSE AFTER A FEW MONTHS YOULL SEE
THEM POP UP AT SOME OTHER VENUE IN THE FUTURE. IN THE FUTURE THEY MAY SAY
THINGS LIKE OH YEAH, HES A GOOD PHOTOGRAPHER TO A PARTIER YOURE STANDING
NEXT TO. OR HAVE YOUR BACK WHEN OTHER STAFF STARTS COMPLAINING ABOUT
YOUR ANNOYING FLASH. THE PARTY STAFF WILL GO A LONG WAY TO ESTABLISHING
YOUR CREDIBILITY.

Drugs
My grandmother used to say: Theres nothing open at 12 in the morning but legs
and liquor stores. (Anonymous)
(missing image)

THE PARTY

40

THE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE TO PHOTOGRAPH THAT PEOPLE WILL EXPECT TO SEE IN
YOUR PHOTOS ARE CALLED YOUR STYLE. YOU DEVELOP THAT OVER TIME. BUT YOU
SHOULD ALSO GET TO KNOW WHAT I CALL YOUR WEBSITES MORAL COMPASS. FOR
EXAMPLE: I OFTEN PHOTOGRAPH PEOPLE NAKED BUT I NEVER PHOTOGRAPH DRUGS.
(OR AT LEAST I NEVER PUT THOSE PHOTOS ON MY WEBSITE). YOU HAVE TO DECIDE FOR
YOURSELF WHAT YOU WANT TO GLORIFY, AND WHAT YOU DONT!. I MADE MY
DECISIONS. I NEVER WANTED TO DEPICT DRUG USE SINCE SO MANY KIDS ARE LOOKING
AT MY WEBSITE FOR ASPIRATIONAL REASONS. WHEN YOU GET GOOD AT YOUR CRAFT
YOULL FIND THAT YOU CAN MAKE ALMOST ANYTHING LOOK COOL I ALSO NEVER
PHOTOGRAPH FIGHTS. AS SOON AS A FIGHT BREAKS OUT EVERYBODY TAKES OUT THEIR
CAMERAS. BLOOD IN A PHOTOGRAPH LOOKS SO GOOD. IF THATS THE KIND OF PARTY
YOU WANT TO SHOW, GO FOR IT. MAKE IT LOOK GREAT. STICK TO IT AND ITLL MAKE A
GOOD COFFEE TABLE BOOK ONE DAY. BUT FIGHTS, DRUGS OR MAKING PEOPLE LOOK
BAD WAS NEVER MY THING. MY FAVORITE PARTY PHOTOS ARE THE REVERENT ONES. THE
ONES WITH PRETTY GIRLS, FABULOUS GAYS, AWESOME OUTFITS, DANCING, ENERGETIC
DJS AND NAKED PEOPLE.

The Fortune Fish

Judge a grocery story by its bananas, a restaurant by its bread and a photographer
by how they photograph children. Bronques
(missing image)
An artist, a teacher and an accountant walk into a dive bar in the east village. They order drinks.
The bartender serves them and then asks if they want to know their fortune. He has fortune fish
coupons from the Mermaid Inn next door. The artist is the first to say yes and the bartender puts
a small red plastic fish coupon in his upturned hand and they all wait. The head and the tail turn
upward. What does that mean? The artist asks. It means that youre passionate, the bartender
replies. The artist takes a sip of beer content with his fortune. The teacher asks the bartender to
know what her fortune is too. He takes out another small red plastic fish and puts it in her upturned
hand and the head and the tail turn upwards. Passionate, the bartender says and the teacher takes
a sip of beer content and is content with her fortune. The accountant who had been watching all
along shyly asks if the bartender can tell him his fortune as well. The bartender is surprised because
hes asked the accountant so many times in the past if he wanted to know his fish fortune but the
accountant always said no. Regardless, the bartender takes out a brand new small red plastic fish
coupon and places it on the accountants upturned hand and only the head turns upward. What
does that mean? he asks. That means jealousy Says the bartender. The artist and the teacher
laugh, but before anyone could take another sip of beer the accountant screams Wait, wait, look!
My fishs tail turned up too. And he was right- the tail and the head were both turned up and the
bartender said Passionate! and the accountant took a sip of beer content with his fortune.

THE PARTY

41

EVERYBODY WANTS TO SEE THEMSELVES AS PASSIONATE OR COOL OR DESIRABLE NO

MATTER WHAT THEIR LOT IN LIFE. THE BEST PARTY PHOTOGRAPHER IS THE ONE THAT
CAN BRING OUT THESE QUALITIES IN ANYBODY. ITS EASY TO GET MODELS TO LOOK
GOOD IN PICTURES. ITS EASY TO GET ARTISTS AND FREAKS TO GIVE YOU A CREATIVE
SHOT. THE SIGN OF A GREAT PARTY PHOTOGRAPHER IS WHEN YOU CAN MAKE THE
REGULAR JOE OR THE PLAIN JANE LOOK AMAZING. IF YOU CAN START TO SEE THAT
POTENTIAL IN EVERYONE, THEN YOU ARE BOUND TO CAPTURE AMAZING MOMENTS.
PEOPLE WILL SENSE YOUR INTEREST IN THEM. THEY WILL WANT TO SHOW YOU MORE
OF THEMSELVES. A PHOTOGRAPH IS ONLY A FLEETING MOMENT IN TIME. CAPTURE
PEOPLE AT THEIR FINEST. THEY WILL CHERISH THAT IMAGE OF THEMSELVES LATER. LIKE
WHEN THEYRE NOT EXUDING THOSE QUALITIES ANYMORE. EVERYONE CAN LOOK
GOOD IN A PHOTO IF YOU TAKE THE TIME TO FIND THEIR UNIQUE ANGLE.

THE COMEDOWN EDITING THE

PHOTOS
Giving People The 15 Minutes That Warhol Promised
Taking pictures is just a collection of lies. Editing is when I make it the truth
again. Bronques
(missing image)
PEOPLE LOVE PICTURES. IVE NEVER MET ANY PERSON THAT DOESNT LOVE PICTURES.
PEOPLE THAT SAY THEY DONT ARE LYING. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT PEOPLE LOVE MORE
THAN PICTURES? PICTURES THAT TELL STORIES. WHEN YOU TELL STORIES WITH YOUR
PICTURES, YOU ACTIVATE PEOPLES IMAGINATIONS. SOMETIMES YOU EVEN ENGAGE
THEIR DREAMS. PICTURES THAT WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MERE DOCUMENTATION HAVE
NOW BECOME ASPIRATIONAL. THERE ARE SO MANY STORIES GOING ON AT A PARTY.
TELL THOSE STORIES IN YOUR OWN UNIQUE WAY THROUGH PICTURES. EVEN IF YOU
HAVE TO RE-ORDER THEM TO MAKE THE STORY CLEARER. EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO DELETE
THE ONES OF YOUR FRIENDS. REMEMBER THINGS LIKE: THE FIRST PHOTO OF YOUR
ONLINE GALLERY IS OF PARAMOUNT IMPORTANCE. BUT NOT AS IMPORTANT AS THE
LAST PHOTO OF YOUR GALLERY. THATS THE PHOTO WITH WHICH YOU SAY SEE YOU
NEXT TIME. LIKE THE RULE OF MOTOWN: YOU NEED A STRONG BEGINNING AND A
STRONG ENDING, THE MIDDLE DOESNT MATTER. LEAVE THEM WANTING MORE WITH
EVERY GROUP OF PHOTOS YOU PUT UP. IT DOESNT MATTER IF THE PARTY WAS GOOD
OR NOT. BUT YOUR PHOTOS OF THE PARTY HAVE TO BE GOOD EVERY TIME. YOURE AN
ENTERTAINER. YOURE NOT A FLY ON THE WALL. YOURE NOT THE EVENING NEWS. YOU
ARE AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT OF LAST NIGHTS PARTY WHO HAPPENED TO HAVE A
CAMERA IN THEIR HANDS AND SOME EXTRA DRINK TICKETS TO SHARE. MAKE THE
PEOPLE THAT WERE AT THE PARTY FEEL LIKE THEY MISSED A FEW THINGS. A GREAT
PHOTOGRAPHER MAKES YOU FEEL FOMO EVEN FOR A PARTY YOU WERE AT. A GREAT
PHOTOGRAPHER MAKES PEOPLE THAT WERE NOT AT THE PARTY FEEL LIKE THEY
SHOULD NEVER EVER SLEEP AGAIN.

Creating A Photo Gallery

Last night was memorable, and whatever we dont remember was caught on film.
Bronques
42

THE COMEDOWN EDITING THE PHOTOS

43

(missing image)
YOU CAN USE FACEBOOK TO CREATE YOUR GALLERIES. PEOPLE WILL BE ABLE TO TAG
(AND UNTAG) THEMSELVES AND COMMENT ON THE PHOTOS. BUT IF YOURE TRYING TO
MAKE THIS A CAREER, FIND AN ONLINE GALLERY CREATOR FOR YOUR WEBSITE. PICK
AN ATTRACTIVE GALLERY TEMPLATE. EDIT THE DESIGN. START UPLOADING. I STILL USE
THE SAME GALLERY CREATOR THAT MY FRIEND BRUCE SHOWED ME ONLINE WHEN I
STARTED. MY STYLE IS WHAT MADE IT UNIQUE. I HATED COMBINING HORIZONTAL AND
VERTICAL SHOTS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE WAS DOING AT THE TIME. IT MADE EVERYTHING
LOOK TOO DISORGANIZED. SO I STARTED SHOOTING EVERYTHING HORIZONTALLY.
THAT WAY MY GALLERIES LOOKED LIKE A BEAUTIFUL GRID. I WANTED EVERYTHING TO
LOOK CLEAN AND MINIMAL. LIKE IKEA. IN NATURE THERE ARE NO STRAIGHT LINES. SO
WHENEVER YOU DO SOMETHING AS STRUCTURED AS THAT, IT FEELS LIKE YOU PUT IN
GREAT CARE. I DECIDED ID FIND CREATIVE WAYS TO COMPENSATE FOR MY ONLY
HORIZONTAL PHOTOS RULE. THATS HOW I INVENTED THE PANORAMIC PINUP (3
BROKEN UP PHOTOS IN A ROW TO MAKE ONE SEXY SHOT). LIMITATIONS IN ANY
ARTFORM ARE GOOD BECAUSE IT SPURS YOUR CREATIVITY. PICK YOUR BACKGROUND
COLOR. PICK YOUR FONTS. I PICKED A BLACK BACKGROUND COLOR BECAUSE IT
REMINDED ME OF NIGHTLIFE. PICK A GOOD THUMBNAIL SIZE FOR THE MAIN PAGE.
THUMBNAILS SHOULD BE BIG ENOUGH FOR YOUR AUDIENCE TO SEE BUT SMALL
ENOUGH TO MAKE THEM WANT TO CLICK TO SEE THE BIGGER VERSION. YES, NOW THEY
WILL SEE HOW GREAT YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY IS (OR HOW BAD). MAKE NAVIGATION EASY
AND INTUITIVE. DONT USE SOFTWARE THAT MAKES IT TOO HARD FOR PEOPLE TO
STEAL YOUR PHOTOS OR TO FIND THEM ON THE INTERNET. WE LIVE IN THE AGE OF
SHARING. LET PEOPLE DOWNLOAD YOUR PHOTOS. ITS NOT LIKE THEY CANT DO A
SCREEN GRAB IF THEY REALLY WANTED TO. YOU SHOULD WANT TO SHARE YOUR
PHOTOS. THATS THE POINT OF PARTY PHOTOS. DONT BE A COPYRIGHT NAZI. THEYRE
NOT TRYING TO SELL YOUR PHOTO, THEY JUST WANNA PUT IT ON THEIR INSTAGRAM.
DONT CHARGE INDIVIDUALS FOR PHOTOS OF THEMSELVES. LET THEM HAVE IT FOR
FREE. THEY MAY BE THE ONE TO HIRE YOU TO SHOOT THEIR WEDDING. OR
RECOMMEND YOU TO THEIR BOSS FOR THE NEXT CORPORATE EVENT. OR USE YOUR
SERVICES FOR AN UPCOMING MARKETING CAMPAIGN. IF YOURE THAT PARANOID, ADD
A WATERMARK TO YOUR PHOTOS. NOW WHEN THEY GET OUT TO THE WORLD PEOPLE
WILL KNOW THE SOURCE. IF YOURE LUCKY PARTY KIDS WILL START TO WEAR YOUR
WATERMARK ON THEIR PHOTOS AS A BADGE OF HONOR.

How Many Photos Should You Take?

Ive fathered many children. They are about 21 megapixels each. Bronques
(missing image)

THE COMEDOWN EDITING THE PHOTOS

44

IT DOESNT MATTER HOW MANY PHOTOS YOU TAKE. BUT IF YOURE NOT THINKING
ABOUT WHAT YOURE DOING WHILE YOURE TAKING A MILLION PICTURES YOUR
PHOTOS WILL SUCK. ITS MORE IMPORTANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT THE END
RESULT TO LOOK LIKE THAN JUST TO TAKE ENDLESS AIMLESS PHOTOS. WHEN YOURE
SHOOTING DIGITAL EXPECT TO TAKE ANYWHERE BETWEEN 300 AND 500 PHOTOS A
NIGHT. ITS NOT BECAUSE YOU NEED TO TAKE THAT MANY PHOTOS TO HAVE A DECENT
GALLERY. THE REASON YOU TAKE SO MANY PHOTOS IS BECAUSE YOUR OTHER JOB AT A
PARTY IS TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL GOOD. JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE WORKING
THERE. THE HOSTS, THE GOGO DANCERS, THE DJS, THE BARTENDERS ETC THEY ALL
EXIST TO MAKE THE PEOPLE AT THE CLUB FEEL GOOD! WHEN SOMEONE ASKS TO GET
THEIR PICTURE TAKEN, YOU JUST SAY YES AND TAKE THE PICTURE. IT DOESNT MATTER
IF THEY ARE GOOD LOOKING OR NOT, JUST TAKE THE PICTURE AND MAKE THEM FEEL
GOOD. IF THEY WANT ANOTHER PHOTO EVEN AFTER YOU GOT IT IN THE FIRST TAKE,
JUST OBLIGE. AND WHEN THE NIGHT IS PEAKING, TAKE EVEN MORE PICTURES. MAKE
PEOPLE FEEL GLAMOROUS. ITS THE EQUIVALENT TO THE DJ PUTTING ON HIS BEST
SONGS RIGHT NOW. TIMING IS OF THE ESSENCE WITH FOR A PARTY PHOTOGRAPHER.
YOU NEED TO FEEL THE ROOMS ENERGY JUST AS MUCH AS EVERYONE ELSE WORKING
THERE. EVEN IF YOU HAVENT BEEN HIRED. EVEN IF YOURE ONLY TAKING PICTURES OF
YOUR FRIENDS. THE PEAK IS THE BEST TIME TO TAKE PHOTOS. TOO EARLY AND PEOPLE
FEEL SELF-CONSCIOUS. TOO LATE AND PEOPLE FEEL LIKE THEY LOOK LIKE SHIT. BUT BE
TRIGGER HAPPY AT THE PEAK HOUR. EVERYONE FEELS LIKE A STAR. TAKE PICTURES OF
EVERYBODY! YOU WILL BE SURPRISED AT WHO WILL GIVE YOU GOOD FACE. SOME
REGULAR LOOKING WILL POSSESS DEMONIC POWERS RIGHT NOW. SOME BEAUTIES
WILL HAVE NO LUSTER BECAUSE THEYRE NOT IN THE MOMENT. YOU NEVER KNOW.
PHOTOGRAPH EVERYONE. IF YOU WANT TO BE PICKY, WAIT UNTIL YOURE SORTING
THE PHOTOS AT HOME.

How Many Photos Should You Post?

Sometimes less is more, and sometimes less is boring. Plasmosis
(missing image)

THE COMEDOWN EDITING THE PHOTOS

45

TAKING PICTURES AT A PARTY IS A DEMOCRACY; EDITING PHOTOS IS A DICTATORSHIP.

DONT PUT UP EVERY PICTURE THAT YOU TAKE AT A PARTY. IT MAKES YOUR PHOTO
ALBUM LOOK BORING AND REPETITIVE. MAYBE THE PEOPLE THAT ARE IN THE PHOTOS
WILL LOVE YOU FOR IT BUT YOUR AUDIENCE WILL FIND IT TEDIOUS. YOUR AUDIENCE
DOESNT WANT TO SEE 5 PICTURES IN A ROW OF THE SAME LAME PERSON. EVEN IF THEY
ARE THE CHEIF EDITOR OF WHATEVER WHEREVER. EVEN IF ITS A HOT GIRL. JUST
CHOOSE ONE PHOTO. THE BEST ONE. IF SHES HOT AND NAKED, CHOOSE TWO. PUT THE
REST ON TUMBLR. IF YOU DONT MAKE HARD DECISIONS ABOUT WHICH PICTURE TO
USE THEN YOURE ONLY DOING PART OF YOUR JOB. AMAZING PICTURES WILL HIT THE
CUTTING ROOM FLOOR EVERY NIGHT. THATS OK. DONT PUT BAD PHOTOS UP OF YOUR
FRIENDS JUST BECAUSE ITS THE ONLY ONES YOU GOT OF THEM THAT NIGHT. IT DOES
NOONE, (ESPECIALLY THEM) JUSTICE. IT MAKES EVERYBODY LOOK BAD AND NOBODYS
GONNA GET LAID LOOKING LIKE SHIT.

Fuck Photoshop
Improving Gods work is the photographers job. Bronques
(missing image)
DONT USE PHOTOSHOP. POST PRODUCTION IS AN ACTIVITY FOR SERIOUS
PHOTOGRAPHERS. BUT YOURE A PARTY PHOTOGRAPHER, AND YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS.
YOU ARE MORE ABOUT CAPTURING ENERGY THAN FIXING PHOTOS. THE BEST
PHOTOSHOP THAT YOU CAN USE IS JUST TO TAKE THE PHOTOS PROPERLY IN THE FIRST
PLACE. IF SOMEONE HAS A CRAZY T-ZONE, YOU SHOULD JUST GRAB A NAPKIN FROM
THE BAR, OR YOUR PULL UP YOUR T-SHIRT AND WIPE OFF THE GREASE. THEN TAKE THE
PICTURE. IF A GIRLS BANGS ARE LESS THAN PERFECT OR THEY HAVE AN UNATTRACTIVE
PART IN THEIR HAIR FROM ALL THAT DANCING, FIX IT LIKE ZOOLANDER DID WITH HIS
GIRLFRIEND IN THAT MOVIE. THEN AND ONLY THEN- TAKE THE PICTURE. IF THERE IS AN
OBJECT IN YOUR WAY, MOVE IT. OR MOVE YOUR SUBJECT. IF SOME DUDES WHITE
T-SHIRT IS FUCKING UP YOUR EXPOSURE AND HES NOT EVEN PART OF THE PHOTO JUST
MOVE YOUR SUBJECT. THEN AND ONLY THEN- TAKE THE PICTURE. NONE OF THIS
SHOULD TAKE MORE THAN 2 SECONDS TO ACHIEVE. IT WILL BE NOTHING MORE THAN A
SLEIGHT OF HAND ONCE YOU GET THE HANG OF IT. YOULL NEVER NEED PHOTOSHOP
AGAIN.

Dear Bronques
I need someone to take crazy photos of me when I go out because those pictures
are my memory later. Bronques

THE COMEDOWN EDITING THE PHOTOS

46

(missing image)
KNOW WHAT YOUR POLICY IS ABOUT PHOTO REMOVAL REQUESTS AND STICK TO IT.
THAT WAY WHATEVER THE POLICY IS, PEOPLE WILL EVENTUALLY KNOW WHAT TO
EXPECT. OH DONT WORRY HE ALWAYS TAKES THE PHOTOS DOWN RIGHT AWAY. OR
HE DOESNT TAKE DOWN PHOTOS SO I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING
MOST PEOPLE THAT WANT THEIR PHOTOS REMOVED IS BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY
LOOK UGLY. I HAD A GIRL EMAIL ME TO HAVE HER PHOTO REMOVED BECAUSE SHE HAD
A VISIBLE SWEAT STAIN UNDER HER ARM. SHE EVEN SENT ME HER OWN
PHOTOSHOPPED VERSION OF THE PHOTO TO USE! PEOPLE HAVE A DISTORTED IMAGE
OF THEMSELVES AND SOMETIMES YOURE THE ONE THAT GETS TO HEAR ABOUT IT. BUT
IF YOU HAVE RISQUE PICTURES OF A STRANGER ON YOUR WEBSITE THAT THEY REGRET
THE NEXT DAY, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY REMOVE THEM. IT SUCKS BUT ITS GOOD
KARMA. OR JUST MAKE THE THUMBNAIL UN-CLICKABLE. PEOPLE WILL STILL SEE THE
MINI PHOTO, BUT NO ONE CAN GET THE LARGE SHARABLE VERSION THAT CAN CAUSE
THE REAL PROBLEMS. THIS WAY YOUR FULL GALLERY ART STAYS INTACT AND YOUR
SUBJECT IS HAPPY TOO. YOU SHOULD STILL ARGUE YOUR POINT FOR KEEPING IT UP,
BUT IF THE PHOTO IS CAUSING SOMEONE PROBLEMS, HELP THEM OUT. NOT BECAUSE
THEY HAVE LEGAL RECOURSE (THEY DONT IF THEYRE IN A PUBLIC PLACE) BUT OUT OF
GOOD WILL. YOURE A GOOD PHOTOGRAPHER AND YOU KNOW THAT PHOTOS ARE ONE
IN A MILLION. YOULL GET BETTER ONES TOMORROW. BUT THE EMAILS YOULL GET THE
MOST ARE NOT PHOTO REMOVALS. THEYLL BE FOR PICTURES THAT YOU HAVENT
POSTED. YOU TOOK A PICTURE OF ME BY THE STAIRS AT THE ABSOLUT PARTY LAST
WEEK. YOU SAID YOU LIKED MY BANGS I DIDNT SEE IT ON THE WEBSITE. CAN YOU
SEND IT TO ME? THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS NO. UNLESS ITS AN EMPLOYER OR YOUR
BELOVED MUSE. YOU HAVE NO TIME TO SEARCH ARCHIVES. A PARTY PHOTOGRAPHER IS
NOT A PORTRAIT SERVICE. IF A PHOTO ISNT ON MY WEBSITE ITS BECAUSE IT SUCKS.
OR BECAUSE IT RUINED THE FLOW OF MY GALLERY. WE CAN TRY AGAIN AT THE NEXT
PARTY. MAYBE WITH LESS CLOTHES THIS TIME IF YOU WANT IT TO MAKE THE CUT.

The Art Of Business

Even if I move on to video, I will always take party pictures. Just like movie actors
who still do theatre. Bronques
(missing image)

THE COMEDOWN EDITING THE PHOTOS

47

NIGHTLIFE PHOTOGRAPHY USED TO BE AN ART. IT WAS THE WILD WEST. WE WERE

INVENTING THE RULES. BUT NOW ITS BECOME A BUSINESS. THERE ARE CONVENTIONS
AND ESTABLISHED TECHNIQUES. RANDOM PEOPLE WILL GIVE YOU THEIR BUSINESS
CARD AT PARTIES. YOU WONT REMEMBER WHO THEY ARE, BUT THE NEXT MORNING
ADD THEM TO YOUR MAILING LIST ANYWAYS. YOURE AN ENTERTAINER FIRST, AN
ARTIST SOMETIMES. AT SOME POINT YOU REALIZED THAT YOURE THE TYPE OF PERSON
THAT RATHER BUY A NEW CAMERA THAN A NEW MATTRESS FOR YOUR BROKEN BED.
THATS WHEN YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAVE PASSION FOR THE CRAFT. WHEN YOURE A
PIONEER, HALF THE WORLD THINKS YOURE A GENIUS, THE OTHER HALF THINKS
YOURE SHIT. BUT THAT IS THE GOAL, TO BE A PIONEER AT YOUR OWN VERSION OF
TAKING PARTY PICTURES. IF YOU DO THIS, YOU WILL SURVIVE. IF YOURE A SERIOUS
PHOTOGRAPHER YOU SHOULD BE DRIVEN BY ANOTHER ARTFORM TOO. THAT WAY
YOUR PARTY PHOTOS WILL HAVE SOME DEPTH TO IT. THERES A SAYING THAT GOES:
POLITICIANS, PROSTITUTES AND UGLY BUILDINGS ALL GET RESPECTABLE IF THEY STICK
AROUND LONG ENOUGH. THATS YOUR GOAL AS A PARTY PHOTOGRAPHER, TO STICK
AROUND LONG ENOUGH.

Zen And The Art Of Party Photography

Dreams are the only images that dont have frames. Bronques
(missing image)

THE COMEDOWN EDITING THE PHOTOS

48

THERE IS NO SECRET TO PARTY PHOTOGRAPHY. ALL I DID WHEN I STARTED WAS JUST
DIVE COMPLETELY INTO IT. I MEAN DEEP. I ONLY THOUGHT ABOUT PHOTOGRAPHY. I
ONLY READ ABOUT PHOTOGRAPHY. I ONLY TALKED ABOUT PHOTOGRAPHY. I DIDNT
HANG OUT WITH ANYBODY UNLESS IT WAS TO TAKE PICTURES. I HAD MY CAMERA WITH
ME EVERYWHERE. I EVEN SLEPT WITH MY CAMERA. I TOOK A THOUSAND PICTURES
EVERY DAY. I DIDNT WAIT TO LEAVE WHERE I LIVED (AND I LIVED NOWHERE YET) TO
TAKE PICTURES. I TOOK PICTURES ANYTIME PEOPLE GATHERED AROUND. MY MOMS
TUPPERWARE PARTY, A WINE AND CHEESE PARTY ON A DOCKED BOAT, WHATEVER.
THEY ALL PREPARED ME FOR NEW YORK. JUST DO THE MOST MODEST VERSION OF
WHAT YOU WANNA DO UNTIL YOURE DOING THE FULL-FLEDGED VERSION OF IT. DONT
ASK FOR PERMISSION WHEN YOU COULD BE SPENDING TIME SHOOTING. BUT PARTY
PHOTOGRAPHY ISNT JUST ABOUT DOING, ITS ALSO ABOUT BEING. WITHOUT THE
BEING PART, PARTY PHOTOGRAPHY JUST BECOMES A REPETITIVE ROUTINE. YOULL
JUST BE TAKING THE SAME PICTURES OVER AND OVER AGAIN. BUT IF YOURE
COMPLETELY INSIDE THE MOMENT THE PHOTOGRAPHS YOU TAKE CAN BECOME ART.
YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY WILL HAVE THIS INTANGIBLE FLAVOR, A SCENT SOMETHING
STRANGELY BEAUTIFUL. MANY PARTY PHOTOGRAPHERS COME TO A PARTY AND JUST
TAKE PICTURES. THEY HAVE KNEE-JERK REACTIONS TO WHATEVER IS GOING ON
AROUND THEM AND LEAVE IN TIME FOR THE LAST TRAIN. BUT THATS MECHANICAL
AND BORING. THE ONLY WAY TO TAKE STUNNING PHOTOGRAPHS AT A PARTY IS BY
FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOUR ENVIRONMENT. PRETEND THAT YOU WERE DROPPED
FROM MARS, AND YOU WILL BE BRINGING BACK THIS IMPORTANT SPECIMEN OF WHAT
PARTYING IS LIKE ON EARTH ON YOUR MEMORY CARD. WHAT ARE YOU DOING STILL
READING THIS? GO DO IT!