The Rehearsal
The Rehearsal
The Rehearsal
A Christmas Comedy
By Jo Bower
The cast of a church production of the Nativity play are in the throes of rehearsal. In the
first scene, semi chaos reigns. In the second scene, as the cast perform for real, there is a
completely different atmosphere.
Characters
Mary
Joseph
Angel
Director
Wiseman one
Wiseman two
Shepherds one
Shepherd two
Narrator
Choir Director
Choir Member #one (woman)
Choir Member # two (man)
Herod
Advisor
Choir (Singers)
Director's Notes
This is a readers play with action. The actors carry the script with them in pretense that
they are the script for the play they are rehearsing. You can even make fake covers for the
script titled The Nativity or something like that.
This play is self explanatory as one of the characters is the director of a play. If
you will instruct the other actors to listen to that character, they will pretty much know
what they are supposed to do.... except when getting it wrong is part of the play. If you
don't have three aisles, use the one opposite of the 'right' one for the 'wrong' aisle. Adjust
the aisles you use to your church's layout.
Make up signs to hang around people's necks with their character's name on it for
the first act. This helps the congregation keep track of what's going on with all the
interruptions.
This is one play where you really need a group of singers as part of the play. Even
a small congregation could not get into the action enough to cause the frustration
necessary for the Director's last line of the first act.
However, you just need enough singers to add mayhem to the tangle of people at
the end of act one. That last line is the culmination of the whole act's confusion, and is the
most important one to get right for timing. The jumble of people needs the most attention
so the director's frustration is believable. Don't forget to use the instrument players
(piano, organ, band) if necessary to further confuse the jumble.
Mary and Joseph should probably be3teens or younger readers
(or anyone who can get away with telling knock-knock jokes).
Dim the lights if possible for the second act. It is also VERY effective if costumes
are worn. Even as I wrote it, I had no idea the effect the contrast between the two acts
would have on the congregation. The second act suddenly became very sacred during the
performance. The person who dismissed in prayer spoke of the chaos of the first act
symbolizing the chaos of the world around us and the quietness of the second act the
peace Jesus brought into the world. Even writers get surprised sometimes.
Scene One
Takes place at the front of a church at the last rehearsals before a simple
Christmas pageant. There are two scenes. In the center is the manger scene. On the right
is Herods palace, and on the left is the house where the wise men visit. People are
milling around, waiting for the director to begin.
Scene Two
Same setting, but serious. The house lights are down. The characters are all either in the
back or in the side room. The only speaker is the Narrator, but they have their scripts still
so they know where to go and when to begin.
Script 4
Director
Weve made some signs telling you who you are so you
wont get mixed up. Here, someone help me hand them out.
(The two choir members with speaking parts stop by the mic on their way to their places.
The other choir members find their places while they talk.)
Director
Okay, lets get started. Were going to do a walk
through so youll remember your final places.
Then well do the whole thing without stopping.
Choir, why dont you get us in the mood
by going through your opening number?
Director
Good. Nice. During the program, youll remain
up there for the whole program, so you
can sit down. Shepherds, Wisemen and Herod
and advisor, sit on the first two rows. Mary and
Joseph and angel, go to the stable.
No... Wisemen, go to the back.
Joseph
Knock, Knock
Mary
Whos there?
Joseph
A Wayne.
Mary
Wayne who?
Joseph
A Wayne in a manger... !
Mary
Cute. Knock, Knock
Joseph
Whos there?
Mary
7
Noah.
Joseph
Noah who?
Mary
Noah good place to eat?
Angel
Knock, Knock.
Mary
Whos there?
Angel
Police.
Joseph
Police who?
Angel
Police, stop telling these
Knock-Knock jokes!
Director
(to the kids in the
manger scene.)
Angel
I know this lady that kept missing her animals
out of her small manger scene after Christmas.
Her boy had gotten a toy tractor and trailer set
for Christmas, and she found him with all the
animals in the back of the trailer. When she
asked him what he8was doing he said,
Im taking them to the sale.
And guess who was driving?
Mary
Who?
Angel
Mary should know. Jesus was driving!
Taking them to the sale!
Joseph
Cool!
Director
Shepherds, you need to
be in the back. Go!
Angel, Mary and Joseph, you are
supposed to be at the stable.
Shepherd One
(Stopping at the microphone.)
Done any hunting yet?
Shepherd Two
Not yet this year. Too bad we dont live in
reindeer country. We could catch some for
the school play. They cant do the manger at school,
but at least live deer would show the beauty God made.
Shepherd One
That reminds me of this man in Tennessees
encounter with a deer. He was in his pick
up, and it was just dusk and foggy.
Shepherd Two
Yeah, thats when they come out.
Shepherd One
Well, I guess he knew that, cause when he saw
a deer, he rolled his window down so
he could see better. He was going really slow,
and just as he passed the deer, it jumped!
It came through his window
9 and landed in his lap!
Shepherd Two
Youre kidding!
Shepherd One
No, a true story. Anyway they fought.
The deer couldnt get out the other side
cause the window was up, and it couldnt
get turned around to get out. The driver decided
he was getting too cut up by the flying hooves,
so he opened the door and jumped. He just stood in
the middle of the road and watched the deer
drive his pickup off the road and into a tree.
Shepherd Two
(laughing)
I dont think I believe that.
Shepherd One
Its true. It was on the Nashville news.
But I always wonder what the insurance
agent thought. Reason for claim:
Deer drove my truck into a tree.
Director
Quiet back there!
Lets go back now. In the program, the shepherds
will be in the back, while the choir sings.
The Narrator will read the Mary and Joseph scripture.
Mary and Joseph, go back to the seats
and come up while the Narrator reads
about your journey, then go right into
the shepherds scene. Narrator, begin.
Narrator
(begins reading.)
This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be
married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through
the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to
expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.
While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her
firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there
was no room for them in the inn. 10
Director
The Choir sings a medley here,
But we wont do it right now. Narrator, continue.
Narrator
And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks
at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around
them, and they were terrified.
And so on...
Im shortening this, too.
When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said one to another,
Lets go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us
about. So they hurried off....
Director
(breaking in)
Shepherds, you are supposed to be here!
Shepherd Two
(laughing)
Sorry, can you start again?
Narrator
Again?
Director
Okay, Narrator, start the shepherds scene again.
Narrator
Okay . . .
And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks
at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around
them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, Do not be afraid. I bring you
good news of great joy that will be for all the people.
Director
Shepherds?
11
Shepherds
(In unison)
Coming !
(they start down the left, right,
(or wrong) aisle)
Narrator
(takes up where stopped)
This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God
and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor
rests.
Director
No, the middle Aisle. Start again.
Narrator
(sighs, but doesnt make any
remarks, just starts reading again.)
So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the
manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told
them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to
them. And so on.... .
Choir
Yeah! Finally! Good!
(Shepherds bow to the choir)
.
Director
Shepherds, did you get that?
Shepherds
(Together)
Got it.
Director
You go and kneel or stand next to
the manger. Do it.
(Shepherds obey).
Stay there. Okay, will
12you remember that?
Shepherds
Yes!!!
Director
Okay. Well run through the whole
thing in a minute. Wise men, where are you?
Wiseman One
(from the back)
Back here.
Director
Get ready. Narrator, lets go over your scripture here.
I dont think we want to read the whole thing . . .
Wiseman One
If the Wisemen knew so much, why
did they have to ask Herods opinion?
Wiseman Two
Prophecy? I dont know. Courtesy?
One king to another?
Director
Choir, why dont you do We
Three Kings while we work this out.
Wiseman One
(after song.)
Wiseman Two
No. Thats
13 weird.
Wiseman One
His girls name was Agnes, and she wrote
a note after every gift. I thought they were
funny, so I copied them.
(Pulls out copy from pocket)
December 14 My Darling John
Whoever in the world would dream of
getting a real partridge in a pear tree?
Thank you a hundred times for
thinking of me in this way. All my love, Agnes.
December 15 Dearest John. Today the
postman brought your sweet gift Just imagine
two turtle doves. Im just delighted at your
very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.
All my love, Agnes
December 16 Dear John: Oh! Arent you the
extravagant one? But really, I must protest.
Three French hens. They are just darling
but please, youre too kind. All my love, Agnes
December 17 Dear John: Today the
postman delivered four calling birds.
They are beautiful, but dont you
think thats enough. Affectionately, Agnes
Wiseman Two
Heres the one about the rings. Notice its back to dearest.
Wiseman One
Yeah. (Reads) December 18. Dearest John:
What a surprise. Today the postman
delivered five golden rings, one for every
finger. I love it. Frankly, all those birds
squawking were beginning to get
on my nerves. All my love, Agnes
Wiseman Two
Just wait. Isnt it back to the birds?
Wiseman One
Yeah. (Reading) December 19 Dear John,
When I opened the door today there were
actually six geese laying on my front steps.
So youre back to the birds again huh?
These geese are huge. The rackets keeping
me awake! Please 14
stop. Cordially, Agnes
Wiseman Two
Cordially?
Wiseman One
Yes, and December 20, its just John.
(Reads)
John: Whats with the birds?? Seven
swans a swimming. They are not created to
be in my house. What am I supposed to do
with them? I need to take a bath tonight!
Am I supposed to take them to the swamp?
The alligators will love that! Im a
nervous wreck. Its not funny.
So stop sending birds! Agnes
Wiseman Two
Shes calling the police when
he sent the ten ladies dancing!
Wiseman One
I love the last two days. December 24, Listen Jerk:
Those eleven lords are leaping over the cows,
the nine pipers playing wont stop and the
ten ladies dancing are exhausted. And the
eight maids a-milking have started talking
about eating the cows cause theyre out of milk.
All twenty-three of the birds are dead.
Theyve been trampled to death in the
chaos. I hope youre
15satisfied! (Laughs)
And its signed, Your sworn enemy!
And heres December 25
Director
Just get it over with and lets
get back to work.
Wiseman One
(Suddenly becoming aware
everyone is listening)
Wiseman Two
(After they quit laughing)
Wiseman One
(humorously)
Huh.... Too bad John didnt know that.
Director
(covers eyes and shakes head.)
(Speaks with dry humor)
At least we learned something. I think.
Okay, Wisemen, as the Narrator reads
about the wise men, you come
down the left Aisle.
Narrator
(reads)
After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from
the east came to Jerusalem, and (they) asked, Where is the one who has been born king
of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him.
(They go)
(Herod and his advisor come in
and take their place, talking.)
Herod
Have you ever read about this guy?
Advisor
Herod? Wasnt the one who fiddled while Rome burned?
Herod
No, that was Nero. This guy was so afraid of losing
his throne he went to awful bloody lengths to keep it.
Advisor
Oh, yeah, he was the guy who killed all the
kids to make sure Jesus didnt get away.
Herod
Absolutely 17
Mad. Crazy.
(Pause)
I wonder why God used him?
Advisor
I heard this story about a family who had
a crazy uncle they dressed up as Santa
Claus every year. One year he stole all the
presents, unwrapped them, changed the
wrapping on the presents, and changed all the tags.
Kids got pipes and fishing rods. Adults got pop
guns, electronic games and bike parts.
No ones clothes fit. They finally put
everything in the middle of the
floor and took turns picking out gifts.
Herod
What happened?
Advisor
Theyre still fighting about who got the
wrong present, or the one they were
supposed to get.
But they still let the uncle be Santa.
Herod
I bet they lock the old gentleman
in his room Christmas Eve, though.
Director
Can I get your attention! Narrator
Narrator
(laughing at the Advisors story)
What?
Director
Read the Herod scripture again.
Wise men come again and leave on cue.
Narrator
(begins reading)
After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea,
during the time of King Herod,
Magi from the east came to Jerusalem,
(The Wisemen come 18
down left aisle)
and (they) asked . .
.
Director
Wait, Herod and Advisor, go out and
come in just before the Narrator reads
about the Wisemen coming to see him.
Narrator
(begins again)
(Wisemen come
down the left aisle)
Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and
have come to worship him.
Director
Terrific! Good. Now, Choir, sing your
song about the Wisemen as
we change scenes. Mary and
Joseph, go to the house,
Shepherds, go sit down, Herod
and Advisor, go sit down.
Director
Mary and Joseph, are at the house and the
Wisemen come. Wise men, where are you.
Wiseman Together
(They raise their hands tiredly)
Here.
Director
Youre not supposed to be sitting down.
Go to the back and come down the right aisle
while the narrator reads.
Narrator
(sighs)
After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the
east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they
saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his
mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures
and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh.
Director
As the narrator reads the last verse,
leave the house, cross over to the middle
aisle and leave. Narrator, read the last few lines.
Narrator
And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their
country by another route.
Director
And we have one last song.
Okay, thats good. Lets go from the
beginning. Lets walk through just the
Characters without
20 words.
Everyone in their original places.
Choir, you can sit this out.
(Everyone gets up, and the choir comes
down to sit where all the other
characters were just sitting, and they
get all tangled up. They end in a tangled
mass right in front of the manger.)
Director
(exasperated)
Stop!
(Everyone freezes)
Ok, just go sit down.
Anywhere. Sit!
(At this point, any announcements, offering, and such can be taken care of)
(Congregational songs, while Biblical Characters get into costume.)
SCENE TWO
Same church sanctuary, the lights are dim.
Director
I will give a short introduction, welcome,
and explanation. Something like. This is a simple play,
a pantomime. We wanted to just read
the scripture and act it out for you.
We will let the light side of Christmas be
presented by the children later in their program,
but we want to focus on the scripture just one more time.
Choir; please begin with the opening number.
Narrator
This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be
married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through
the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to
expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind 21 to divorce her quietly. But after he had
considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, Joseph son of
David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her
is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name
Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.
All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: The
virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel
which means, God with us.
When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him
and took Mary home as his wife.
In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire
Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of
Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register.
So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the
town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to
register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child.
While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her
firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there
was no room for them in the inn.
Choir:
Silent Night
While Shepherds Watched their Flocks by Night
Narrator
And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their
flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone
around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, Do not be afraid. I
bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of
David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.
This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a
manger.
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God
and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.
When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said one to another,
Lets go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us
about.
So they hurried off and found Mary22and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in
the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been
told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to
them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The
shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and
seen, which were just as they had been told.
After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from
the east came to Jerusalem,
Narrator
After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the
east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they
saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his
mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him.
Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and
of myrrh. And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to
their country by another route.
23
(Wisemen leave, go across to the middle aisle and leave.)
Director
(quietly after a long pause)
Terrific! Do it just like that!
You are dismissed.
(Characters quietly leave the sets, somehow suddenly aware of the importance of what
they had just enacted.)
..