7

DEADLY SINS
OF PROPOSAL WRITING
How to Write Proposals that Help Win Deals
 INTRODUCTION:
THE SNAPSHOT

Sales proposals are an integral part of complex sales processes. A poorly executed
proposal can undercut months of excellent sales effort. Unfortunately, most sales
training ignores them completely.

In this document, we look at seven key factors that can spell the difference between
success and failure in your proposal writing efforts:

1. Qualify the opportunity

2. Focus on what the client cares about
3. Organize the message for maximum impact
4. Differentiate your offer and your company
5. Articulate a compelling value proposition
6. Make the proposal clear and easy to use
7. Remove all potential distractions and credibility killers
 THE GROWING
ROLE OF SALES
PROFESSIONALS
Customers are more likely to require proposals methodologies actually make that claim: follow
than ever before. Even fairly simple deals that the method being taught and you will never
in previous generations would have required need to write a proposal again.
nothing more than a handshake now require a
detailed sales proposal. In todays economy, that claim is simply false.
The proposal is as integral a part of the
There are several reasons for this phenomenon. contemporary business-to-business sales process
The solutions being offered in a business-to- as is the product demo.
business environment are more complex, the
buying process typically involves a committee While great proposals are not likely to win deals
rather than an individual, and by themselves, bad proposals can
customers are adamant about quickly derail an opportunity.
seeing a compelling argument
based on value before they move Sales professionals, their managers,
forward. and the support teams that work with
them all need to know what it takes
Even simple servicesoffice to write winning proposals and what
cleaning, for examplemay require mistakes to avoid.
a detailed analysis of return on
investment before the prospect will In the following pages, we
agree to move forward.
discuss the Seven Deadly
Unfortunately, many sales people Sins of Proposal Writing,
continue to tell themselves that
proposals dont matter. They believe that as explaining why they cause chaos
long as they have sold their deals effectively, the and how to avoid them.
proposal is just an opportunity for the client to
rubber stamp what theyve already decided. In
fact, some of the more popular sales training

The Seven Deadly Sins of Proposal Writing

3
 THE FIRST DEADLY SIN:
FAILING TO QUALIFY
THE DEAL
As Tom Amrhein, one of the most successful strategic alignment of what we have with what
proposal writers of all time, once said, The the client needs. If you dont know what they
fastest way to improve your win ratio is to stop need, how can you align your products or
bidding on things you cant win. services effectively? If youve never spoken to
them, how can you be deeply engaged with
That sounds obvious, yet sales people spend the client? And if you are responding to an RFP
thousands of hours every year writing proposals where you have no chance of winning, how can
for so-called opportunities that never had a you possibly believe that you are using your time
chance. and resources wisely?

One of the most frequent examples of this 1. Do we know enough?

kind of behavior occurs when a Request for
Proposal (RFP) shows up in a sales persons inbox Before you can qualify an opportunity, you
unannounced. The sales professional has never have to know something about it. At a
spoken to the company soliciting a proposal, has minimum you need to be able to answer:
no insight into their needs or issues, and does What is their buying process? Who is the
not know what kind of results they seek. incumbent? Are they happy with the current
provider? What are the business drivers that
On the other hand, its an opportunity! Why not lie behind this RFP? Why do they matter?
go for it? The answer is because you probably What results does the prospect hope to
wont win. Statistically, you have one chance achieve? Of the various results they might
in 20 of winning any business in that situation. want to achieve, which is most important?
Or to put it another way, you have a 95 percent
certainty of losing! Sales is knowledge work, and nowhere is this
more obvious than in the task of qualifying
The conclusion we can draw from these statistics: opportunities. The less you know, the less
hope is a terrible sales strategy. likely it is that you should pursue the
opportunity.
Closing a complex deal requires careful use
of limited resources, deep engagement, and

The Seven Deadly Sins of Proposal Writing

4
2. Is the customer serious about
making a choice?
Just because a business or government
agency has issued an RFP does not mean they
are serious about moving forward.

Maybe they are hoping someone will submit a

bid with a crazy, low-ball price they can use to
beat up their current vendor. Or maybe they just
want to put on a show of doing due diligence,
even though they already know who will get the
contract.

Indications that the customer is serious include

having a compelling event or date in their future,
having an acquisition team in place, and having
set aside budget for the purchase.

3. Is our solution competitive?

Do we match their requirements technically?
Contractually? In terms of management
approach, schedule, or price?

The challenge in asking this question is applying

your discernment to the issue of what really
matters to the client and what is of secondary
importance.

4. Can we win?
What will it take to win this deal? Do we have
a strong champion on the decision team? Can
we offer a competitive price and still make a
reasonable profit?

Can we offer a compelling value proposition,

one that is strong enough to overcome the
fact that we may not be the lowest price
vendor?

The Seven Deadly Sins of Proposal Writing

5
THE SECOND
DEADLY SIN: NOT
FOCUSING ON WHAT
THE CUSTOMER CARES
ABOUT
Research indicates that the first question buyers
ask themselves when they are considering their
The most important part of any proposal is options is, Are we getting what we need?
the executive summary, because it creates the
vital first impression. That should be the first item we address in our
executive summary and even in our cover letter.
If the executive summary is focused on the The second question they ask is, Is this the best
vendoron their company history, on their way to spend our time and resources?
products, or even on how pleased they are to
respondthe initial impression will be negative. As a result, we should focus second on the
Self-centered content is never as appealing impact of solving their problems or meeting their
as content focused on the client. And yet, needs.
surprisingly, around 30 percent of all proposals
start with a corporate overview or company By covering the clients needs and desired
history. outcomes first, we show that we are concerned
with the same things they care about. This lowers
Instead, focus on what the customer cares anxiety in the buying process and helps increase
about: The issues or problems they face and the the customers trust in us. Starting with our
potential for gain that will come from addressing company history or an overview of our products
those issues or solving those problems. This does the exact opposite.
is vital in the executive summary, but even the
cover letter and title page should focus on the
content that matters to the decision maker.

Rather than titling the proposal Proposal

for Server Virtualization, why not use the
key outcome the client wants to achieve as
the basis for the title: Increasing Profitability
and Throughput in the Data CenterA
Recommendation for Server Virtualization.

The Seven Deadly Sins of Proposal Writing

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 THE THIRD DEADLY SIN:
NOT STRUCTURING
THE DOCUMENT
PERSUASIVELY

We have already noted that the first two

questions address the customers needs and
the probable outcomes of taking action, but
the complete persuasive structure consists of
The brain is hardwired to look for specific four steps:
kinds of content organized in a specific
order. What we look for is determined by the 1. Summarize your understanding of the
intentionality of the message. customers needs

If our intention in reading or listening to a 2. Indicate the probable outcomes from

message is to acquire and understand facts, the taking action that make this worth doing
structure should be informative. It should start
out with the most important facts first. But if 3. Recommend a solution that addresses the
our intention in reading a message is to make a needs and delivers the results
decision, the structure should be persuasive.
4. Provide evidence that you can do the job
Persuasion is the flip side of decision making. on time and on budget and that there are
reasons why you are the right choice
As sales people we seek to help the customer
make an informed decision, one that benefits There are other patterns that help deliver the
both of us. As customers, we read proposals message persuasively in building case studies or
in an attempt to find what we need to make a in responding to RFP questions, but this four-
decision quickly and confidently. step pattern is the most important part of writing
persuasively.
As a result, when writing a proposal we need to
organize our content in an order that answers
the key questions a person asks when he or she
is trying to make a choice.

The Seven Deadly Sins of Proposal Writing

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THE FOURTH
DEADLY SIN:
NOT DIFFERENTIATING
YOUR OFFER
& YOUR COMPANY

The customer needs to see that there is a

reason to choose you, based on something
you do that is different and that adds value to
the engagement.

If there are no differentiators, the client will

assume they are buying a commodity product or
service and will look for the lowest price.

The strongest differentiators and those that are

most likely to have impact over the long term are
those that are related to the way you workyour
methodology, your best practices, your systems
and processes.

Also important is the way you manage

projectsdealing with the unexpected, keeping
projects on track and avoiding unpleasant
surprises.

The Seven Deadly Sins of Proposal Writing

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 THE FIFTH
DEADLY SIN:
NOT OFFERING A
COMPELLING
VALUE PROPOSITION

A value proposition is a promise that we make

to the client: You will get more of the results
you desire the most if you choose us.

Unfortunately, that promise is missing from the

vast majority of proposals.
Value matters because research into economic
Smart buyers want to see positive impact in decision making shows that people use what is
some area of business performance that they called the estimation heuristic to select among
believe matters. They may want to see increased multiple options.
market share, lower operating costs, or higher
profitability. They may want to automate In using this heuristic, they seek to define which
something that is labor- intensive, achieve course of actionwhich vendorwill yield the
compliance with regulatory standards, or reduce highest rate of return. Our goal is to give the
their carbon footprint. customer the evidence they need to utilize the
estimation heuristic so that they see we are the
Whatever the client seeks, we need to show that best choice.
they will get more of it by choosing us, primarily
because of the differentiators that distinguish us.

Tying our differentiators to our ability to deliver

superior value is a great way to bulletproof our
proposal against competitors.

The Seven Deadly Sins of Proposal Writing

9
THE SIXTH
DEADLY SIN:
NOT MAKING IT EASY
TO UNDERSTAND & USE
Clarity is one of the essentials of persuasive down. Anyone who has had the experience of
communication. When people dont reading something difficult and confusing, only
understand what we are talking about, they to stop in the middle, go back to the beginning
usually dont shove piles of money at us. When and start again has experienced overload in
they are confused or unsure of what they are working memory. When this happens to our
getting, they delay the decision. They ask for customers, they tend to believe that what we are
additional presentations. They seek more input. recommending is so complicated that its not
likely to be easy or even to work. As a result, they
What confuses them is the use of language pull back from buying.
that is inappropriate for their level of
technical understanding. Acronyms, jargon and The sixth sin also arises when proposals are
product names are the chief offenders. Using poorly formatted. Studies done by the Dartnell
them tends to create barriers between us and Institute found that most executives do not read
our potential customer, raising the level of what the documents they receive. Instead, they skim
psychologists call cognitive dissonance. them. The typical pattern was to look at the first
page or two, to turn to the back to see if there is
Another problem is the use of long, complex any pricing or any action steps there, and then
sentences and big words. Although people to bounce around the rest of the document,
sometimes think that kind of writing makes looking for key points. The lesson: make your key
them sound intelligent, it actually just makes points jump off the page. Format for eye appeal,
them incomprehensible. Long sentences and using headings, subheadings, and graphics.
unfamiliar words overload the area of the brain Use floating text boxes, sidebars, and graphics.
called working memory, where we decode the Focus the customers eye on what you want them
language inputs we receive. When working to remember. Otherwise theyre likely to miss it
memory is overloaded, the process breaks completely.

The Seven Deadly Sins of Proposal Writing

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 THE SEVENTH
DEADLY SIN:
NOT EDITING
CAREFULLY TO
REMOVE MISTAKES
AND CREDIBILITY KILLERS

The final sin is probably the least serious of the

seven, yet can still do major damage to our
chances of winning.

This is the sin of carelessnessfailing to correct Because of a psychological phenomenon known

the typos, misspellings, grammar mistakes, as the Gestalt principle of completion of form,
punctuation errors and other credibility killers we dont see our own mistakes.
that inevitably litter a first draft.
Instead our brains overrule the input of our
Perhaps the most serious of these errors is senses and we see what we expect to see, not
calling the client by the wrong name. The CEO what is actually there. Because we know the
of a direct marketing firm was distraught to find proposal is written for Microsoft, we are unable
that his proposal to Microsoft for a three-year, to see the name Oracle right in front of us.
$10-million-a-year contract to communicate
with the Microsoft partner channel was derailed Overcoming this problem is a combination
because he had referred to them as Oracle. of using pre-written text elements that use
Even though this was obviously a cut-and-paste placeholders instead of client names and
error, it was one that his prospective client could building enough time into the process to allow
not overlook. It was a $30-million typo. for thorough editing and review before the final
document is published.
Waiting until the last minute to edit the
document means that you are not likely to see
your own mistakes.

The Seven Deadly Sins of Proposal Writing

11
IN SUMMARY
Sales proposals are an important and unavoidable
part of business-to-business sales processes.
Avoiding the seven worst mistakes can increase the
likelihood that we will win.

In fact, a recent survey of Qvidian clients who have

implemented these best practices showed that on
average their win rate went up 28 percent.

Who knew that avoiding a few sins could produce

such heavenly results?

ABOUT QVIDIAN
Qvidian provides cloud-based sales execution solutions that
enable companies to exceed quota targets, accelerate sales
cycles, and win more business by closing the gap between
strategy and execution. The companys innovative software and
advisory services offer real-time insight to ensure sales teams do
whats needed to win, by driving repeatable methodologies and
making the sales organization more agile.

With over 1,200 global customers including Dell, Citi, ADP, CA,
and Splunk, Qvidian is helping organizations significantly increase
their profitable revenues while eliminating waste and reducing
costs.

For more information, visit www.qvidian.com or

call 1-800-272-0047 or +44 (0) 870-734-7778.

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