Whirred and Whirled

Whirred & Whirled
Volume 32, Number 2

April 1, 2012
Whirred and Whirled

I t seemed like a good idea at the time: Word & World: Theology for Christian Min-
istry. And, for a while there, it sort of worked: thirty-three years of wrestling with
what we thought were significant themes by commissioning talented authors to
develop meaningful essays. It seemed like a good idea.
Now, though, it has become clear that pretty much nobody cares about such
things these days. So, after long deliberation, the Editorial Board has decided to
change our title to Whirred and Whirled: Fluff for Whatever. Weve chosen to go
with the flow. (The vote was 15 to 2, the two traditionalist diehards being one who
still reads the Confessions only in German and Latin and one who thought the Da
Vinci Code was the combination of the lock that protects the Mona Lisa.)
I thought I might just parody contemporary culture for this Humor issue
editorial, but I found that I could not. Whats left to parody when religion parades
as politics (or politics as religionits Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dumber),
when reality TV passes for culture, and when people actually believe campaign
commercials and infomercials (pretty much the same thing, except the former
have enough money to get on the good channels in time slots other than the
middle of the night). Any of this is as hard to parody as the wine snobs description
of the latest vintage (earthy, with just a touch of boysenberry) or the food critics
ecstatic eruptions over the sardine and artichoke crpes at the newest in res-
taurant.
So, Ill just announce where we have decided to go with our fluff for the fu-
ture. In the meantime, we have come to realize that if we print half of our fluff in
italicsthat is, slanted to the rightand the other half left justified rather than fully
justified, we can surely be picked up by both Fox News and MSNBC, and then we
will be able to support this enterprise forever on the royalties. Its win/win all
around.
That determined, we have come up with four strong themes for the 2013 is-
sues, and we have already commissioned or designed most of the articles.
WINTER: PLU-PERFECT
This title requires a little explanation, but we are confident that people will
embrace it quickly. PLU-Perfectthat is, People Like Us: Perfect! Its all
Copyright 2012 by Word & World, Luther Seminary, Saint Paul, Minnesota. All rights reserved. 103
Editorial
around us. Political caucuses, synods and congregations, gated communities, ra-
dio and TV talk shows, you name itPeople Like Us are perfect. Others are
not. We want PLU-perfect churches, PLU-perfect political parties, and ideally, of
course, a PLU-perfect world. Some argue against total PLU-perfectionism, rec-
ognizing properly that without others (the less than perfect) there would be no
foil, no enemy, no bad guys to prove we are the good guys. But we dont need too
many of them.
The beauty of this is its ability to be exclusive and inclusive at the same time.
We all (inclusive) want the world to be made up of people just like us (exclu-
sive)its perfect. Several articles are pending for this issue:
Be Perfect (Matt 5:48): Even Jesus Agrees!
Prophets or Cheerleaders? What Do Congregations Really Want?
Recovering the Liturgical Confession of Sins: Theirs!
Learning Perfect Hatred (Ps 139:22): A Biblically Based Parish Education
Program
Hosting Tyre Cosmetics Parties in Christian Homes: How to Be Perfect
in Beauty (Ezek 27:3)
Cursing the Other: Rediscovering the Imprecatory Psalms for Parish
Ministry
SPRING: CUCUMBERS
We take the world in our title seriously, having shown that with an issue on
Water in 2011 and Bread in 2012. The next topic for this natural world series
is obvious: cucumbers. The articles are taking shape:
Fruit or Vegetable? What Determines Meaning, Elitist Scientific Exegesis or
Common-Sense Readers Response? A Hermeneutical Case Study
Giant Cucumbers: State Fair Oddity or an End to World Hunger?
Im in a pickle! A Cucumbers Spiritual Lament (a rare first-person
account)
A lapful of wild gourds (2 Kings 4:39): Were They Really Cucumbers? A
Text-Critical Investigation
The Cucumber and the Bee: An Exploration of Odd Sexual Attraction
Cucumbers at the Church Potluck: Recipes to Relish
Face to Face: Burpless or Traditional? Has Genetic Manipulation Gone Too
Far at Last?
SUMMER: BATS IN THE BIBLE

This will continue our tradition of producing a solid biblical issue each year,
104
Editorial
one that provides church leaders with insights necessary for parish ministry. Sev-
eral articles are already commissioned:
The Bat Is a Bird (Deut 14:18)? Can Literalism Be Defended?
Why Are Bats Unclean (Lev 11:19)? An Early Case of Speciesism?
Crapping on Idols Heads: The Mission of Bats in Epistle of Jeremiah 1:22:
Is It Ours as Well?
From Sparrows at the Altar to Bats in the Belfry: A Fascinating Look at the
Wirkungsgeschichte of Ps 84:3
Archaeologists Uncover the Club of Gods Fury (Isa 10:5): They Remain
Puzzled over the Inscription (Louis[b?]ille S[n?]ugger)
Texts in Context: Preaching to the Graphic-Novel Generation: Exploring the
Dark Caves of the Bible with the Bats and the Moles (Isa 2:20)
FALL: THE NUMBERS RACKET

Sometimes it is thought that the world of theology and the world of numbers
have little in common. This issue will put that notion to rest at last. These articles
have been proposed:
666 and All That: The Positive Uses of Numerology in Parish Ministry
Jesus Did Not Know the Hour (Mark 13:32), but Dont Let that Stop You:
How to Gain a Rabid Following
Happy-Talk Mission Statements Make Bigger Congregations
Beyond Threescore and Ten (Ps 90:10): How Your Parishioners Can Do
Better than the Bible with Proper Diet, Spiritual Exercise, and Raising
the Salaries of the Pastoral Staff
Face to Face: Days of Creation: Yes, There Were Exactly 7, and They Were
Exactly 24 Hours Long versus No, There Werent, and They Werent
Texts in Context: On Preaching to the Crowds (Matt 57): How Faithfully
Proclaiming the Sermon on the Mount Will Solve Your Seating Issues
and Parking Problems
All of this and more is coming in 2013. Join us! (Subscriptions available at
www.luthersem.edu/w&w.)
F.J.G.
105

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Whirred & Whirled

Volume 32, Number 2

Whirred and Whirled

SUMMER: BATS IN THE BIBLE

FALL: THE NUMBERS RACKET

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