SELECTIONS FROM SATSANGS WITH SRI BABUJI

Vol. 4

Saipatham Publications
SHIRDI CHENNAI HYDERABAD
 Title: Rose Petals – Vol. 4
Selections from Satsangs with Sri Babuji
Editor: Ram Brown Crowell
Assistant Editors: Yvonne Weier & Linda Bonner (Bhakti)
Layout & Design: Robyn Aruna Almaleh
Edition: First Edition, Guru Purnima 2015
Publisher: Saipatham Publications
Saipatham, Shirdi – 423109
publications@saimail.com
Copyright © 2015 Saibaba Foundation
ISBN: 978-93-84359-041
Processing: Sai Mudra, Shirdi
Printed at: Saibonds Print Systems
Chennai – 106
Websites: www.saibaba.com
http://saipatham.saibaba.com/rose-petals
http://downloads.saibaba.com
www.sribabuji.com
To Sai Baba of Shirdi
who gave us Guruji
Sri Sai Baba of Shirdi
 Sai Baba of Shirdi

Sri Sai Baba of Shirdi is the most popular saint of

modern India. He first appeared in mid-19th cen-
tury Shirdi, Maharashtra, in the guise of a young
Muslim fakir, and remained there for fifty years
until his mahasamadhi in 1918. His tomb in the
Samadhi Mandir in Shirdi which houses his fa-
mous white marble statue is the focus of devo-
tion and pilgrimage for millions of devotees. His
parentage, birth and antecedents are unknown,
but appear to reflect a mixture of Hindu and Sufi
influences, like Kabir’s. ‘Sai’ in Urdu means ‘pure’
or ‘holy’, an attribution made by his first devotee
(Sai Baba means ‘Holy Father’).
Sai Baba’s realization was of the highest order
of magnitude, beyond the confines of any religion.
His manifestations of supernatural power in re-
sponse to devotees’ needs were legendary in his
lifetime and have continued since. His incredible
feats of trikala drishti (knowledge of past, present
and future) were so awesome that only a divine
omniscience could account for them. He seemed
familiar with and taught from the universal core
of all faiths and traditions, recommending from
each whatever scriptures and practices were best
suited to the needs of the devotee before him. Like
Kabir, his teachings were eclectic, often cryptically
expressed, free from distinctions of caste and sect,
and full of love and compassion for all beings.
The special distinction of Baba’s incarnation is
to grant devotees experience of their blissful na-
ture, not through teachings, but by merely seeing
or remembering him: “Meditate on me as bliss,”
he said, “if you can’t do this, look at my form.” He
advocated a guru-centric approach to spiritual
life based on remembrance of him and adherence
to the eternal dharma of truth, non-violence and
universal love. Saying, “Look to me, I look to you,”
he promised to answer devotees’ prayers even
from his tomb, asking only two things, nishtha and
saburi (steadfast faith and cheerful patience), as his
gurudakshina.
Historically, Baba can be seen as continuing
the mystical Nirguna Bhakti tradition of Kabir that
revolutionized medieval Hinduism by advocating
devotion to the formless God beyond all forms
of religion; this united all sects by giving them a
common means of expression. It also bridged the
Hindu-Muslim divide by appealing to Muslims
who were enjoined by the Koran to abjure image-
worship. Sai Baba’s life ideally exemplified Kabir’s
syncretic approach to religion.
The exponential growth in Sai worship is a no-
table phenomenon in modern India. In less than
a century since his passing his devotees now
number in millions and numerous temples have
been built in his name. Baba’s emblematic saintly
form, seated on a stone dressed in a white kafni
and wearing a white head cloth, left hand resting
on one crossed leg, has become iconic of saint-
hood and is seen everywhere in homes and of-
fices. Multitudes journey monthly to Shirdi for
his darshan, to ask for his blessings, and to have
their prayers answered. They come from every
stratum of society – rich and poor, educated and
illiterate, young and old alike – all of whom feel
Baba is their own and that they belong to him.
Their experience is personal, immanent and over-
flowing with love. To witness such myriad ex-
pressions of devotional fervour is to sense the
presence of the Divine, eliciting reverent awe and
wonder. Baba’s darshan in Shirdi is a uniquely
memorable experience in modern India.
Sri Sainathuni Sarath Babuji
 Sri Sainathuni Sarath Babuji

Sri Sainathuni Sarath Babuji (1954-2010) was

a renowned South Indian saint who reached
spiritual fulfilment through devotion to his great
Sadguru, Sai Baba of Shirdi (d.1918). His birth on
the same day that Baba’s life-size, marble statue
was inaugurated in Shirdi presaged a life of love
for Sai Baba, in which thought, word and deed
were united in all-consuming devotion. This fun-
damental integrity was the hallmark of the path
he walked, the path of Sai, called Saipatham.
Sri Babuji’s rise to spiritual attainment was
meteoric. From his youth, he had an intensely
enquiring mind that questioned the claims of
the scriptures and organized religion. At 16, a
mystical experience awakened his love for Sai
Baba and brought him into closer contact with
Sri Ekkirala Bharadwaja, an eminent Sai devotee,
who became his guru and encouraged his search
for fulfilment. Under Sri Bharadwaja’s guidance
and inspired by Sri Ramana Maharshi’s example
of Self-realization, Sri Babuji undertook an in-
tense period of sadhana which culminated in
his experience of realization before the great
avadhuta, Sri Poondi Swami, in 1974, when he was
barely 20 years old. This profound transformative
experience, which Sri Babuji attributed to Sai
Baba, initiated the next stage of his life that lasted
to the end of it – the total dedication of his love
and service to Baba.
Instead of leaving the world, Sri Babuji returned
to it and later married in deference to his guru’s
advice, had a daughter, and lived the life of a
householder. After Sri Bharadwaja’s passing in
1989, Sri Babuji moved with his family to Shirdi,
to be nearer the abode of his beloved Sadguru.
There, in the intimacy of his home, he shared the
fruit of his experience with those drawn by his
wisdom and radiant love. He lived simply, did
not speak publicly or establish an organization or
ashram, nor did he accept donations, preferring
to live on the honorarium he received from the
Sai Baba Central School he founded in Ongole in
1983. As his renown spread, his darshans in Shirdi
grew to attract thousands, including seekers from
other countries, who were entranced by the sheer
spiritual power of his silent presence while he sat
with eyes closed beneath a large portrait of Baba.
All aspects of Sri Babuji’s life were harmonized
around his devotion to Baba. Each activity and
relationship was fed by the steady flame of his love
so that everything he did was an act of devotion
even while living in the world and meeting the
responsibilities of daily life. Whenever there were
opportunities to meet with Sri Babuji and seek his
guidance, he responded to questions in practical
terms relevant to the questioner’s needs, and
always supported each person’s unique path to
fulfilment. Many who came into contact with him
found and continue to find their prayers answered,
their problems solved and their illnesses cured,
blessings he always attributed to Baba’s grace and
love. He once said, “The whole gamut of spiritual
seeking can be summed up in two words – the
experience and expression of love.”
Sri Babuji attained mahasamadhi on 13 November
2010. His samadhi (Sannidhanam) in Saipatham,
Shirdi, is alive with his luminous presence and is
open to everyone throughout the year as a quiet
refuge for worship, prayer and meditation.
 Contents

Sai Baba of Shirdi v

Sri Sainathuni Sarath Babuji ix
Acknowledgements xv
Notes on Text and Sources xvii
Preface xviii
Introduction xxi

1 Darshan 3
2 The Familiar Stranger 15
3 Resistance to Love 27
4 Reading the Lives of Saints 39
5 Effort from the Heart 51
6 Topsy-Turvy in a Well 63
7 The Unending Love Story 77
8 Boring into Boredom 89
9 The Gap 101
10 Aspects of Change 115
11 Helplessness & Seeking Help 129
12 On Death & the Love of Life 143
Appendix of Sources 157
Glossary 162
Saipatham Publications 177
 Acknowledgements

Acknowledgement is due first to the dedicated

team of devotees whose initial work over many
years made the subsequent publication of
Rose Petals possible. These are the people who
transcribed the recordings of the satsangs and
devised a custom-made, searchable database
for them. They are: Robyn Aruna Almaleh, Bob
Barnett, Shanti Baron, Linda Bonner (Bhakti),
Ram Brown Crowell, Chris Burgess, Margrit
Burri, Karin Dirkorte, Pam Donaldson, Kashalya
Milon, Nadja Nathan, Lola Navarro, Elise Sadler,
Carlos Gil Sobera, Anki Sternander, Larisa Webb,
Yvonne Weier, Peter Westöö and Alison Williams.
For Rose Petals – Vol. 4, the editor is again
especially grateful to Yvonne Weier and Linda
Bonner (Bhakti) for their editorial help and sup-
port at every stage of the publication process.
This volume of Rose Petals is again a product
of our joint skills and teamwork. It has been a
pleasure and privilege to work together and my
thanks to them is both very great and heartfelt.
For the skilful collation of extracts comprising
each chapter the editor thanks Shanti Baron,
Linda Bonner (Bhakti), Margrit Burri, Kashalya
Milon, Nadja Nathan and Anki Sternander. Their
work has been essential in allowing all of us to
benefit from the rich legacy of Guruji’s English
satsangs.

xv
 For their careful review and proofreading of
the text, thanks are due to: Robyn Aruna Al-
maleh, Luke Ball, Nadja Nathan, Elise Sadler
and Larisa Webb. The editor nonetheless accepts
responsibility for any errors that may remain.
Rose Petals is grateful for the ongoing support
of Sri Babuji’s revered wife, Smt. Anasuya Amma-
garu, and his beloved daughter, Sruti Sainathuni.
Their unwavering devotion to Guruji’s legacy and
support for Saipatham remains an inspiration to
all devotees.
Everyone who participated in publishing Rose
Petals – Vol. 4 feels honoured to have shared in
presenting our beloved Sadguru’s words to a wid-
er audience. To work with Guruji’s satsangs and
experience his ineffable presence again has been
a deeply rewarding experience for all of us. This
volume is offered to other seekers the world over
with the prayer that they may benefit as we have
from the wisdom and love pervading the satsangs
presented here in this volume of Rose Petals.

Ram Brown Crowell

Editor, Rose Petals
Tiruvannamalai

xvi
 Note on Text and Sources

All non-English and Sanskrit words in the text are

defined in the Glossary at the back of the book;
those that do not appear in the Concise Oxford
Dictionary (12e 2011) are italicized. Words enclosed
by square brackets in the text have been added
by the editor and are not heard in the original
satsang. The terms ‘guru’ and ‘Sadguru’ denote in
all cases a fully enlightened, Self-realized master.
The sources for the extracts in each chapter are
listed in the Appendix of Sources at the end of
the text. They appear there numbered in the order
in which they appear in the text for each chapter,
according to the number and date of the satsang.
The Glossary has been compiled by the editor
on the basis of standard academic authorities;
he has tried to limit the denotational field of
the glosses to meanings relevant to the text or
sufficient to identify the term for readers of this
book.

xvii
 Preface

Volume 4 is the latest volume of Rose Petals to be

published in honour of Sri Sainathuni Sarath
Babuji, whose exemplary life of devotion to Sai
Baba of Shirdi endeared him to thousands in
India and abroad. Like previous volumes, this
book contains selections from Sri Babuji’s English
satsangs given spontaneously in response to
devotees’ questions on a wide range of subjects.
The dialogues took place with small groups in
an informal atmosphere at his house or while
travelling, between 1993 and 2010. The 12 chapters
were originally made available in digital format
for devotees; they are here published in book
form for the benefit of a wider readership. The text
has also been translated into Telugu, Sri Babuji’s
native tongue, and published as Sarathchandrikalu.
Sri Babuji’s satsangs were brilliant, original and
insightful. They cover many topics of traditional
interest to seekers from a modern perspective that
eschews the jargon of schools and texts and speaks
directly to spiritual concerns in psychological
terms that are common to all human experience.
At the same time, Sri Babuji had no systematized
form of teaching, nor advocated any one philoso-
phy over another, always speaking in terms rel-
evant to the individual before him. Nevertheless,
since seekers face many of the same problems, it

xviii
is possible to collate Guruji’s different answers to
the same questions into the thematic chapters that
are presented here. Gathering Guruji’s various re-
plies on the same subject enables us to appreciate
the depth of his wisdom, revealing perhaps more
of its relevance to our own path and search. He
stressed that deep curiosity and a keen spirit of
enquiry were needed to forge a genuine path to
fulfilment based on the reality of our own needs
and experience. Always, he inspires and coaxes
us to be receptive and thrilled by the adventure
of life itself and the joyous mystery of our own
existence.
Guruji’s path could be called the path of love. It
was evident in the unwavering devotion to Sri Sai
Baba of Shirdi that permeated his whole life and
being in thought, word and deed. Like Baba, he
was non-prescriptive, tolerant and non-sectarian
in his approach, asking us to seek our fulfilment in
the way that spoke most authentically to our own
hearts, even at times, pointing to a ‘pathless path’,
or a path with a million names and expressions,
that would encompass everyone’s unique journey
to fulfilment.
The introduction that follows is offered as an
invitation to readers to reflect on their own needs
and desires in relation to spiritual life. It is also
offered as a perspective on the fundamental quali-
ties of integrity, curiosity and open-mindedness
that Sri Babuji felt were basic to the search for ful-
filment, and essential to its outcome in experience.

xix
Above all, spirituality was a practical matter for
Sri Babuji, to be experienced in one’s everyday life,
and his compassionate guidance to discover this
for ourselves is what weaves through these dia-
logues with Sri Babuji.

– R.B.C.

xx
 Introduction

The Thrill of the Mystery

Hear from the heart wordless mysteries!

Understand what cannot be understood!
When the veils are burned away,
The heart will understand completely.
Ancient Love will unfold ever-fresh forms
In the heart of the Spirit, in the core of the heart.
–Jalaluddin Rumi1

The human quest to find meaning in existence and

to solve the mystery of life has inspired research
and exploration throughout history. Study and
enquiry, whether in the sciences, humanities or
spirituality, has arisen to satisfy the inborn need
to make the unknown known, to satisfy one’s
curiosity about the nature of life and, finally, to
experience fulfilment and happiness in it. The
search for meaning is natural, almost biological
1
Light upon Light Inspirations from Rumi by Andrew Harvey
(Berkeley, California: North Atlantic Books, 1996), p.104

xxi
Rose Petals

in nature, and seeks to answer characteristically

human problems, questions and needs.
In earlier times, before the advent of printing,
those seeking answers to spiritual questions
were more isolated in their quest. If their need or
passion for the truth were strong enough, they
might embark on long, arduous pilgrimages to
find a master who was said to know the truth or
to find scriptures that had not yet reached them.
The famous Chinese monk and pilgrim, Fa-hsien
(337-422 CE), walked from Central China across
the Himalayas and was the first to reach India. He
then walked onward to thirty different countries
on his pilgrimage to visit all the principal centres
of Buddhism, collecting scriptures and studying
under various masters. His accounts of his travels
have come down to us written on silk and bamboo.
The yearning to receive teachings from great
masters must have been an all-consuming passion
for such seekers to embark on these formidable
journeys.
Since then, spiritual teachings have become
unimaginably more available to seekers with the
emergence of international publishing, television
and the internet. Now, almost everything one
wants to know is just a click away. All these
advances have radically changed our relationship
to acquiring spiritual knowledge. How does this
affect the modern seeker’s quest to find meaning
in life and to solve its mystery? While there can be
no doubt that the wide-spread dissemination of
easily-accessed information brings huge benefits,
xxii
 Introduction

it must also be admitted that it can create its own

problems for spiritual seekers in today’s world.
We are inundated with ideas, systems, tech-
niques and myriads of paths in today’s spiritual
supermarket. Never before in the history of spiri-
tuality has there been such a renaissance of East-
ern and Western teachings from past ages, such
a cross-cultural fertilization of ideas, and such
easy availability of spiritual and philosophical
texts, previously rare and confined to ancient
languages, which are now translated into every
major modern language. Sacred texts once secret
and accessible only to initiated, qualified dis-
ciples (adhikarin) are now available to all without
restriction.
Ready-made concepts and techniques, whether
simple or advanced, suitable or not, may be
chosen simply because the teaching sounds
beautiful, exotic or of the highest order, rather
than in answer to a burning personal need or
longing, like Fa-hsien’s, whose fervency called
him to make huge sacrifices and commitments.
Instead, we may become increasingly confused
by the innumerable ideas presented, making
our experience even more abstract by adopting
concepts that are not relevant to our real needs
and problems. As Sri Babuji says:
“If you are told that everything is transient,
temporary, without substance, and that there is
something beyond that you have to catch hold of,
then your whole search becomes meaningless,
because it is superimposed and artificial, since

xxiii
Rose Petals

you are seeking something that you don’t really

need. Instead, you have to realize by experience
the futility of fulfilling these transient things,
then the search will become a real need for you.
Otherwise, you are just imitating another seeker.
So, let us not imitate, but confine ourselves to
this: where lies our sorrow, our frustration, our
lack? Let us tackle the problem at its own level,
practically, pragmatically, down to the ground!“
When we approach our spiritual quest, we often
want to be told what to believe, since not knowing
or knowing falsely causes fear and anxiety. The
tendency of most human beings is to use their
traditional convictions and belief systems to
comfort themselves, or as crutches to escape an
intolerable sense of uncertainty and insecurity.
But, when stances of knowing are adopted
unconnected to our real needs and experience, true
inquisitiveness and self-discovery are stopped in
their tracks, even to the point of no longer feeling
a need to continue seeking, or of ‘calling off the
search’. Thus, a person’s spiritual development
can be arrested long before it has a chance to come
to fruition.
Of course, it is not so simple to let go of the
safety net of our views and opinions. Since they
largely form our identity, letting go of them
is tantamount to cutting off the branch we’re
sitting on or sinking our conceptual boat before
we’ve reached the other shore. Yet, if we don’t
let go of where we are, we surely cannot move
forward. The critical help and security needed
to accomplish this may come in the form of the

xxiv
 Introduction

Sadguru, or in walking a path that is true to our

heart, that truly is our own way, our svadharma.
If our hearts have been awakened with love for
Truth or the Sadguru, the very power of that love
will act as the security that makes it possible to
move beyond the constructs of the personality
and its confines. As the process of clearing away
our identification with the known can feel like
dying, being supported by the Sadguru’s love
allows one to let go more readily. In Topsy-Turvy
in the Well, (Ch. 6), Guruji alludes to this essential
deconditioning process with an example from
Sai Baba’s own experience with his Guru. Guruji
said if we were to recast Baba’s account today it
could be read like this:
“My Guru made me see the depths of my own
being – there all my so-called knowledge, pat-
terns and ways of knowing became topsy-tur-
vy – and I had a glimpse of bliss. Then I stayed
with the one who made me experience that.”
If required, the Sadguru may also provide cer-
tain concepts to remove the ones that are not
helpful, even as a thorn is used to remove another
thorn. Guruji said,
“Eventually, these kinds of concepts will also
have to go, they are not the truth or reality but
just a needle to remove a thorn already in your
foot which is giving you pain. Once the thorn is
removed, you throw the needle away.”
In his own spiritual journey, Sri Babuji found
that everything, even something as simple as

xxv
Rose Petals

breathing, presented a mystery, a problem to be

solved. His experience of the perplexity of exis-
tence itself is what gave extreme urgency to his
search. People kept answering him from the sas-
tras, without any practical application to his needs,
until he met his Master, Ekkirala Bharadwaja,
who approached his enquiry in an open spirit,
dismissing all sastraic ideas and jargon that young
Babuji had accumulated. As Guruji recounted:
“By the time I met my Master, I had collected
so many concepts that they had become an
obstacle to readily accepting something new.
My Master brushed them aside and made the
whole enquiry fresh, going to the spirit of it
and paring it down to the brass tacks. It was
a different approach, which I liked. My search
became enlivened because all the dead wood
accumulated was removed and then the seek-
ing started afresh again.”
This fresh, innocent mind is the starting point
of many practices, especially in Zen, as outlined
by Richard Baker in his Introduction to Zen Mind,
Beginner’s Mind:2
“‘Zen mind’ is one of those enigmatic phrases
used by Zen teachers to make you notice your-
self, to go beyond words and wonder what your
own mind and being are. This is the purpose
of all Zen teaching – to make you wonder, and
to answer that wondering with the expression

2
Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind by Shunryu Suzuki; Introduction by
Richard Baker (New York: Weatherhill Inc., 1973), p.13

xxvi
 Introduction

of your deepest nature. The practice of ‘Zen

mind’ is beginner’s mind. The innocence of the
first enquiry – what am I – is needed through-
out Zen practice. The mind of the beginner is
empty, free of expert’s habits, ready to accept
or to doubt and open to all possibilities.”
Guruji first tried to wipe our slates clean of
any ideas that were not meaningful to our search,
and to ‘normalize’ us by bringing us back to the
reality of our hearts and our authentic needs. He
outlines this beautifully in The Gap (Ch. 9), where
Guruji stresses the importance of being honest
with ourselves, of shunning hypocrisy at all costs
and aligning our thoughts, words and deeds into
one harmonious whole. He always pointed us
back to ourselves, to our own reality, having us
ask one fundamental question: “What is my real
need?” If we said we wanted mukti or nirvana, he
would urge us to enquire deeply to find whether
it was truly a desperate need or not, referring to
Buddha’s quest:
‘’Did Buddha leave the palace in order to get
nirvana? No. Certain questions were so burn-
ing for him they drove him out – do you have
that burning? There is no need that you should
have the same kind of burning as the Buddha;
people have different kinds of burning needs.
What is your burning need? Find that out and
then your seeking becomes personal. Every-
body has their own seeking, their own way,
their own path. Unless we focus on that we
can’t evolve.”

xxvii
Rose Petals

It seems we have to be on fire, with the need

either to get something or to get rid of something,
to truly want to change our condition of being,
for our efforts to bear fruit. Otherwise, all our
sadhanas and disciplines become sterile in ex-
perience if they’re not coming from the heart. In
Effort from the Heart (Ch. 5), Guruji speaks at length
about ‘right effort’ as effort fused with the emotion
of love or burning need, and how everything else
one does then becomes a part of it. This allows for
an intensity of attention to be present naturally in
all things.
Sri Babuji pointed out that a true teacher may
push us, or even take us along with him, but he
will always show us the way to our own genuine
path. He never gave ready-made answers like
“All is Brahman, Everything is God, Know you
are Atman,” as some kind of conclusion to our
exploration of life’s mystery. He stressed that the
process of exploration itself was beautiful, and
offered countless insights into the deeper truths
of nature, human and divine. An example of how
to enquire into everyday experience is outlined in
Boring into Boredom (Ch. 8), where Guruji says,
“Everybody experiences boredom: explore it,
examine it, dissect it, and it will reveal so
many thrilling mysteries about your own self
and mind. If you bore into that experience of
boredom, the living waters will spring up and
you’ll get beautiful experiences!”
He always brought us back to our experience

xxviii
 Introduction

of whatever was happening in the moment, and

asked us to start our enquiry from there. Like
beginners, fresh on the path, enlivened and
excited, he wanted us to connect with our deepest
yearning to solve the mystery. He stressed that
the truth was far more nuanced than black and
white; rather, it was often paradoxical in nature
and impossible to pin down in a word or concept.
As he said,
“In every satsang I’m showing you a series of
paradoxes, enigmas, how the truth lies some-
where in-between. And trying to see that ‘in-
between’, trying to read between the lines, that
is the art of life, that is the art of spirituality.
And if you want somebody to spell it out, to
write a line about it, then the truth goes beyond
the line again and you miss the target.”
In fact, Sri Babuji was speaking of the same
essential truths revealed in the scriptures but
in his own unique way, in the form of simple,
accessible language stripped of all jargon. He even
went so far as to say that if his words over time
ever lost their aliveness in our inner experience
and had become jargon, they also should be
dropped. Guruji acknowledged that we can’t
live without concepts, but he spoke of the dead
concepts that were irrelevant and meaningless to
our life, that made our lives more problematic and
complicated. He wanted us to constantly discern
and check to see if they were useful for our goal.
On the use of concepts he said:

xxix
Rose Petals

“I am not opposed to concepts, I also have

concepts and share them with you, but I also
want you to have your concepts, based on your
own experience. If a concept arises from your
experience then it is good. In English ‘concept’
is a very beautiful word. To conceive means to
think, to imagine, to beget something. Concep-
tion also means pregnancy, as in conceiving a
child. So when you are impregnated with an
experience, then you conceive real concepts.
Don’t just adopt concepts, try to beget your
own. There is nothing like having your own.”
He perceived each person as unique and
without replica in any other time or place. Because
of this he knew that one approach did not suit
everyone and therefore he never advocated any
philosophical system or systematic theology. He
said,
“I always relate to people individually, person-
ally. I don’t compare, everybody is unique to
me, as if you were the only contact I have in the
world, there is nobody else. I advise people ac-
cording to their nature, according to their lean-
ings, according to their constitution.”
Interestingly, Sri Babuji was trained as a
homeopathic physician, and the homeopathic
approach of viewing each person as unique in
their symptomatology, constitution and treatment
accorded with his enlightened way of being with
each of us. He said, quite radically:
“Let us not worry about the unity of religions,
let us worry about the unity of our own emo-

xxx
 Introduction

tions. That’s where the problem lies. Try to

solve that problem. And from there, from that
effort, our own religion arises. Each individual
has their own religion. Why are there only ten
or fifteen? Let all the millions of people have
millions of religions. In that sense, all the reli-
gions may be leading to the one ocean, the con-
cretization of each one’s sense of fulfilment.”
When Guruji worked with us in satsangs, his
reference point was always the questioner. He as-
certained the person’s svadharma – that functional
aspect of one’s total structure with personal ten-
dencies, views of fulfilment and capacity to attain
it – and met us there, where he found us. Sri Babuji
was free, flexible and open. He had no agenda of
his own nor need to have us see the whole world
from his reference point.
We see historically that often the greatest saints
and sages like Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa,
Sri Shirdi Sai Baba, and Sri Ramana Maharshi are
the most universal in their views. Their infinite
wisdom contains all possible paths so they are
unlikely to uphold one system of thought over
another. Thus, when questions arose over which
school of philosophy or religion Sai Baba followed,
it was impossible to answer other than saying
no system or all systems! Their personal power
is so great that words are unnecessary and the
alchemizing force of their presence itself can be
sufficient to transform us. In the saint, the form
and the state become so utterly fused that just
by sitting in their presence we can learn and be

xxxi
Rose Petals

transformed without the intervention of language.

Sri Narasimha Swami, the great devotee of Shirdi
Sai Baba, expresses this beautifully in the preface
to his biography, Life of Sai Baba:3
“In our present day civilisation, we have only
understood conveyance of thought by speech.
But with persons of the coming race or the fully
developed human being that is represented by
Baba, one of the most elementary powers is to
convey the thought-impulse to action without
utterance of a single word. ‘Radiating thought’
is an expression used about several great souls;
a person seated before such a Mahatma feels
that his whole being is permeated, controlled,
communed with and moulded by the Mahat-
ma without the use of a single word and with-
out direction that any book be studied or any
practice followed.”
Here, the entire transformative process is ini-
tiated and completed by the Sadguru. One need
only be like a wet cloth drying in the sun of the
Sadguru’s presence and grace – an analogy Gu-
ruji liked to use. The Sadguru moulds the mind
and heart of the devotee, making him or her in-
nocent again like a child, filled with wonder and
curiosity about the meaning of life’s mystery and
the way to fulfilment. Then his unconditional love
inspires the devotee to respond from the deepest
and most authentic part of his or her heart and be-

3
Life of Sai Baba, Vol. 1 by B. V. Narasimha Swami (Saipuram,
Madras: Shri Shirdi Sai Baba Trust, 5e rev., 1994), Preface, p.xx

xxxii
 Introduction

ing. With the mind of a beginner and the heart of a

lover, the mystery becomes a thrill and in walking
the path itself one finds fulfilment. Life unfolds an
aesthetic dimension of growing beauty filled with
appreciation and gratitude. Guruji wanted us to
approach our journey in this spirit saying,
“It is not a question of whether you solve the
mystery or not. The very fact that you recog-
nize the mystery, that you live in the mystery,
that in itself is so thrilling and aesthetic. If you
ask me to tell you the solution to the mystery,
I won’t tell you. Just as in a movie, I won’t say
this is what’s going to happen at the end – he
is the villain, he is the murderer. No, you have
to see the movie, I won’t tell you the story. The
one who really loves the mystery, wants to ex-
perience the mystery and be thrilled!”
With Guruji, there was always the sense that
‘the story of our fulfilment’ had no ending, that
there was no final point of arrival. It was, he said,
like the work of an artist who feels his painting is
never complete. If he ever feels it is fully complete,
his art becomes stale and dry and stagnates.
Guruji said:
“Our experience of fulfilment should not be
static, it should be so dynamic. We should try
to discover more ways of creating more fulfil-
ment, more beauty and happiness. On and on
it goes, but the impulse doesn’t come from dis-
satisfaction – there’s not an iota of dissatisfac-
tion in it – but only its nature of expansion into
ever-new forms. Actually, it’s quite peculiar in

xxxiii
Rose Petals

Vedanta when some say that Brahman means

‘complete, perfect, absolute’. But the word
Brahman itself does not mean that. It comes
from the Sanskrit root, Brh – meaning ‘to grow’.
That which is ceaselessly growing, develop-
ing, unfolding is Brahman. To where? There is
no end to it. It is infinitely unfolding. That is
Brahman. People often misunderstand this by
trying to nail it down into static concepts like
perfection, goal or path, as if it were a state or
station where one gets off! But the truth is not
like this. It is a state that is endlessly unfolding,
unfolding into infinity. It is infinitely finite and
finitely infinite.”
Opening to the inexhaustible mystery unleash-
es the heart and mind into a thrilling odyssey of
discovery rather than landing us in a static place
of knowing or fixed meaning. As we read these
pages let us be inspired by Sri Babuji’s words and
hear the intimations of the mystery residing in the
infinity of space between the lines. It is from this
silent, sacred source that Sri Babuji gave us the sat-
sangs in this volume of Rose Petals.

Linda Bonner (Bhakti)

Shirdi
March 2015

xxxiv
R ose Petals
Bodhan, 2000
 chapter one

Darshan

devotee:
I would like to ask some questions about darshan.
As I understand it, darshan means ‘seeing’ in rela-
tionship to a Sadguru or a form of God. What does
that ‘seeing’ actually mean? Is the benefit in the
way we see or is it in being seen? Do we try to
embed the form in the mind, so as never to for-
get it, or focus on the internal experience of being
in the Guru’s presence? Is there a way of being in
darshan that is most beneficial? I have so many
questions!

GURUJI:
For all these questions there is one example I can
Rose Petals

give to help you understand better: When you see

a movie, you’re not simply seeing images moving
on a screen. You say, “I‘m watching a movie,” but
what is really happening? An interaction is going
on, you identify yourself with the characters on
the screen: you laugh, you cry, you get disappoint-
ed, you get angry or you may even get bored. You
say you see a movie, but actually you aren’t just
seeing it, you’re experiencing it. And when, just as
you see a movie, you see Baba – that is darshan.
It’s that simple. It’s not just seeing, you’re experi-
encing something.

DEVOTEE:
How can we get the most out of those moments
with you in darshan?

GURUJI:
I don’t know how you can get the most out of it,
but I know I come to take your darshan. I don’t
come to the satsang hall to give darshan, I come to
receive darshan. Yes, I’m experiencing it and en-
joying it!
Who am I to give darshan to anyone? It is the
exalted state of Sai Baba that pulls us all to have
his darshan with love and devotion. When I sit in
front of all the devotees to have darshan of Baba,
I am reminded of the Vedic hymn about the thou-
sand-headed being: Sahasra sheersha purushaha,

4
 Darshan

sahasraksha sahasrapath – the Purusha, the Supreme

Being, who has a thousand heads, a thousand eyes
and a thousand feet. With thousands of heads and
thousands of eyes Sai Baba is giving darshan and
bestowing his gracious look. I feel I am having
darshan of that universal form.

DEVOTEE:
Why is so much said about the glance of the guru
and its value?

GURUJI:
Because it conveys love. Because you love the guru
and what comes from the guru is love. The glance
he gives you floods you with love. That is the
content, the value, the governor’s signature on
our currency. [Guruji laughs] In fact, it’s not the
glance – something else is going on, some interac-
tion is going on.
The best example I can give is when you watch
a movie. It’s not that the characters will come and
talk to you, but there’s an interaction going on. You
identify yourself with someone or something else,
a role. If even with a movie such an interaction
is possible, why not with Baba, who, objectively
speaking, really is interacting with you? Or, if you
can’t see the objectivity in it, at least experience it
as if you’re seeing a movie.
Darshan is ‘seeing’ and ‘being’ and ‘experien-
cing’, all together. It is not simply seeing. And

5
Rose Petals

when seeing and being is happening, the result is

‘becoming‘.

DEVOTEE:
Becoming?

GURUJI:
Seeing, being, and becoming.

DEVOTEE:
Isn’t ‘being seen’ also an ingredient? Some texts
seem to say that darshan is complete only if the
guru also sees you, as well as your seeing him.

GURUJI:
Yes, he sees! How can it be incomplete?!

DEVOTEE:
That if the guru doesn’t look at you, while you
may see him, then it’s not really darshan.

GURUJI:
Is this the only way he has to look at you? [Guruji
stares pointedly with wide-open eyes] [Laughter]
No! There are so many ways for him. We can only
see in our usual way, but he has a thousand ways
to see us!

DEVOTEE:
Ah, that’s great!

6
 Darshan

GURUJI:
We have only two eyes, but Baba has thousands,
unlimited numbers of eyes.

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, you said ‘becoming’ – is that a promise?
[Laughter]

GURUJI:
Yes, a promise without compromise! [Guruji
laughs]

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, what is the divya drishti, the ‘divine vision’
of the guru?

GURUJI:
Any seeing which perceives divinity everywhere
is the divine drishti. The guru sees divinity every-
where, that is why his look is divine. And if you
can see him as the divinity, yes, that is also divya
drishti.

DEVOTEE:
Is it possible to love the guru as he loves us?

7
Rose Petals

GURUJI:
Yes. When you become one with him, it is possi-
ble. And why does he love us? Is there something
so attractive in us that he loves us so much? Noth-
ing. Everybody loves, above all things, their own
selves, and we are limited and there’s so much
which makes us love or hate. But for him, he sees
himself in everything. To us it seems he is loving
us, but to him he is loving himself – he sees his
own Self everywhere. His look denotes that.
There’s really no example or analogy to de-
scribe this accurately. But at least to understand
it vaguely, imagine the look of a mother when
she looks at her newborn baby immediately after
delivery. Till then the baby has been a part of her,
a part of her own self, not a separate entity. After
the birth, that first look! It’s as if she sees a part of
herself. Then slowly the interaction begins – the
child cries and wants to be given milk. The look
loses its initial intensity, that initial feeling and ex-
perience of oneness.
The look that perceives everything as part of
oneself is called divya drishti. To look at something
and experience that this is also I, not different
from me – to be able to see like that is ham-sa, is
so-ham, so-aham [that I am]. It is myself. Whatever
it is, it is I.

DEVOTEE:
What is very interesting and rather odd for me is

8
 Darshan

this opposition between the sacred and the ordi-

nary world. During darshan we are very reverent
and devotional, then when darshan is over our or-
dinary life resumes as usual.

GURUJI:
It’s good. It’s good that at least we feel the sacred
for a few minutes. Because the more worldly and
profane we are, the more we can feel the differ-
ence, the contrast.

DEVOTEE:
How do we bring this experience of the sacred
that we have in darshan more into our ordinary
lives?

GURUJI:
That all depends upon your purpose for being
here. If your purpose is to experience what you ex-
perience during the few minutes of darshan, then
you try to prolong it as much as possible. And peo-
ple have different approaches, different ways of
prolonging it, there is no one particular way. Or,
if you don’t want to prolong it, at least it’s good if
we don’t disturb those who want to do so.
Everything depends upon your purpose, on
why you are here. Usually, people tend to forget
this. And, even if I tell you, “This is how you have
to conduct yourself,” it becomes a routine ritual
and then has no benefit. It’s true there is a differ-
ence between the sacred and the profane, as you

9
Rose Petals

said; it’s a good point. But our purpose is to pro-

long the experience of darshan to such an extent
that there will be no difference. The dividing line
between sacred and profane should be erased: the
profane appears sacred, and the sacred can appear
to be profane. Everything becomes one in that ex-
alted emotion.

GURUJI:
If anybody comes to me it is Baba’s will, not mine.
I try in all possible ways to repel them. [Laughter]
But if still they come, it means that it’s Baba’s pow-
er bringing them to me, and I enjoy that. When I
see them, I see Baba’s power, I see Baba in them.
It always reminds me of what the Purusha Sukta
says, “Sahasra sheersha purushaha, sahasraksha sahas-
rapath” – that Purusha, that Baba, who has a thou-
sand heads, legs and hands, has come to give me
darshan – I enjoy it. And I don’t have any delusion
I am helping anyone, I am simply enjoying Baba’s
ways. I am honestly saying it is Baba who helps
you, not me.

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, how can we see Baba in everything? How
can we achieve that?

10
 Darshan

GURUJI:
I am not asking you to see Baba in everything,
just to be aware of what Baba said, “In every liv-
ing creature I am there.” It is enough to remem-
ber that. Not trying to superimpose our image of
Baba on others, saying Baba, Baba, Baba! That’s
not it. [Laughter] When we relate to people, the
awareness that Baba is in all living creatures is
enough. And even if that awareness is not there,
no problem. First try to see Baba in yourself, then
we’ll think of seeing Baba in others. If we can-
not see Baba in ourselves, how can we see him in
others? If Baba is in every creature, is he not in us,
too? If he is within us, how is he within us? Where
is he living? Where is he hiding? Try to find out.
Then we can try to find him in all other hearts
also.
Even if Baba is there and what he said is true,
have we made our own heart a fitting home for
him? So make it clean, just as, when I come, you
clean the flat, decorate it with flowers and make
everything ready. Like that, try to do the same
thing in your heart.

DEVOTEE:
And how do we make our hearts clean?

GURUJI:
How do you make the flat clean when I come?
You know what I like. You know, for example,

11
Rose Petals

that mosquito repellent is not good for me and

so you make sure there is none around. Like that,
there are so many things. You know what Baba
likes and you try to remove what he doesn’t like.
Remove them, and Baba will come and live there
happily. Then you can see him every day. You can
have an interview, you can have darshan, every
day, whenever you like. He comes and resides in
your own flat here. [Guruji points to his heart.]

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, I want as much darshan of you as possible.
When you’re walking by, how do I get your atten-
tion so you will stop and look at me?

GURUJI:
It is natural when we are walking through a gar-
den and the flowers are fresh, that we feel like
standing there and looking at them. If the flow-
ers’ freshness is gone, what is there to look at? So,
don’t be like dried flowers – always keep up that
freshness! Then Baba will make me stand there
and look at you. Because what I see in you is that
freshness, that blooming, that sap, that fragrance.
Being a ‘senior devotee’ should not kill that fresh-
ness. Do you want to be a dried flower or a bud-
ding, blooming flower with lots of fragrance? Let
our minds be like blossoming flowers which we

12
 Darshan

offer at the feet of Baba, let them not be withered

and dried.
Always feel it’s the first time when coming for
darshan. Then you are free from the past, “We
are seniors, they are newcomers, we are like this,
they are like that.” All these things are like the
scorching sun which makes the flower wither and
dry away. Nobody should feel they are ‘senior’.
Once we feel we are senior, we are ready to retire!
[Guruji laughs] Keep up that sap! Every time is
the first time – it should be like that.
When, describing Rama’s form, Valmiki says,
“Kshanakshane yannavata Ramaneya roopam,” it
means, kshanakshane – every moment, every in-
stant; yannavata – it’s new, renewed; Ramaneya roo-
pam – Rama’s form. That is, whenever you see his
form, it is always new; when looking at his face
you never get bored. Like that, in every moment
Baba’s form is so beautiful, constantly changing
and renewing itself, so every moment feels like the
first time you are seeing him. This kshanakshane
yannavata, this ever-newness, permeates your
whole life, your whole spiritual experience. Every
instant is alive, full of sap, full of life. Then you’ll
be in real contact with me, or with Baba, or with
Essence, or with whatever you want to call it. Ex-
periencing that newness, that freshness, is the real
darshan.

13
Shirdi, 2006
 chapter two

The Familiar Stranger

DEVOTEE:
The love for the Sadguru is so different from love in
the ordinary, worldly sense. Is it possible to describe
or capture it in any way? It seems so mysterious.

GURUJI:
There is no simple answer because your question
implies so many things. What is a Sadguru? Why
do we need a Sadguru? What is so-called ‘ordinary
love’ and what is this ‘mysterious love’? Is it really
mysterious love or is it love of the mystery? All
these things have to be answered to understand
love for the Sadguru.
Rose Petals

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, please help me to understand the relation-
ship between a devotee and the Sadguru.

GURUJI:
First, start with your experience. You have suf-
fering, you have frustration. Even though you
have everything, you still feel there is something
missing. You don’t know what it is. Sometimes
you think, “Maybe this is missing, maybe that is
missing, and if I get it I’ll be happy.” Then you try
for it and when you get it, you find there is still
something lacking. You have money and all the
comforts, good relationships, good parents; every-
thing is there but still you’re not happy. What is
missing? “Love!” you say. “Yes, my children love
me, my wife loves me and my husband loves me, I
have a good family. I am loved, but still I seek love
– what is that love? Oh, it’s not love, it’s something
else: Jnana!” So you read books on Vedanta and
become even more confused – something still is
missing. What is that X factor? What is the value
of that X? In whatever way you work the equation,
you can’t solve it for X, you can’t find the right an-
swer. So, your whole life is based on an incorrect
formula. Then, when you come in contact with
the Sadguru, you think, “Maybe this is the X,” be-
cause he connects you to what you feel is missing
in yourself.
That is why I call the Sadguru a ‘familiar stran-
ger’ or ‘strangely familiar’. We feel, “He looks so

16
 The Familiar Stranger

familiar, but he is so strange” and we don’t know

why he is like that. We feel he knows the intimate
corners of our heart, but we don’t know who he is
or what he is doing. Is he static or dynamic? Does
he love me or not? Is he doing anything or not?
One minute he’s so familiar and the next moment
he’s so strange. That paradox, that mixture of
strangeness and familiarity, connects him to us,
to what is really missing. Our experience of that
strange familiarity is the first pull of the magnet
– the triggering that brings us into the Sadguru’s
orbit. The process of removing that strangeness
and making it more and more familiar – that is
the ‘concretization of our abstract sense of fulfil-
ment’.1 So what is that strangeness? What is that
missing story? That is the mystery. Let us try to
grasp it. The whole process of seeking fulfilment
is trying to get hold of that missing story and
trying to solve the mystery, whether it is finally
solved or not. That is the path, the sadhana, the
spiritual endeavour.

DEVOTEE:
Even though I say love brought me here, still I feel
I don’t know what love is.

1
For a full understanding of this important term in Guruji’s thought,
see Rose Petals – Vol. 1.9 (Concretizing Fulfilment) and Rose Petals
– Vol. 3.12 (The Transformation Process).

17
Rose Petals

GURUJI:
Not only you, many people do not know what love
is. They think this is love or that is love. A boy
and a girl look at each other: it’s love at first sight.
And then they say, “Oh, I love you, I love you so
much!” After some time it becomes only a pattern,
a habit, and slowly it withers away. Then they go
on with their search for fulfilment. Some people
want power or money. All these things are only a
part of the exploration. Then, at some point, some-
thing happens and they feel, “Yes, this is what I
want, this is my fulfilment.” But even then, it is
not yet really clear. For instance, take the example
of Sri Ramana Maharshi. When he spoke about
Arunachala, he said that even since the days of his
innocence, since his childhood, he had had an in-
explicable attraction to Arunachala, but he didn’t
know what Arunachala actually was, whether it
was a hill, whether it was a name of God, or a per-
son or a state, but somehow he felt that he knew
it. Whenever he heard the name ‘Arunachala’
it felt so familiar, but at the same time it was so
unfamiliar. So he began his exploration. He went
to Arunachala and while he was there it became
more familiar, but at the same time it remained
so strange. There is also the example of Sai Baba.
He was seeking a guru and the moment he saw
him, he knew – yes! Did he know anything about
him, his antecedents, his precedents? Nothing.
But something told him, he knew, “He is the one.”
That wasn’t the end of the story, it was only the

18
 The Familiar Stranger

beginning. It only gave him a glimpse of some-

thing so ineffable, so mysterious, so strange, but at
the same time so familiar. Then he tried to make
it more and more familiar. The more familiar you
become with that strangeness, with that mystery,
the more you want to know it. The experience of
becoming more familiar with the mystery gives
you the opportunity to experience and express
what you really want: this is what actually gives
you fulfilment. Love arises in the experience
of fulfilment, and the expression of fulfilment is
love.
So it is the strangeness that pushes you towards
fulfilment and makes you explore it, experience
it, and express it more and more. It gives you the
thrill, the sense of mystery. If you lose the strange-
ness, you lose the pull to explore. It is that para-
dox of the ‘strange’ with the ‘familiar’ that makes
your life more meaningful. We know it and yet we
don’t know it, we have it and yet we don’t have it.

DEVOTEE:
Is the sense of mystery there always, does it never
go?

GURUJI:
We’ll see. Let’s try to solve it first. Maybe it goes,
maybe it doesn’t, but that itself gives you a thrill.
Not that the mystery is something painful. It’s
thrilling! That is why people enjoy thrillers or
mystery novels.

19
Rose Petals

GURUJI:
If at all there is anything mysterious or mystical, it
is our experience that the Sadguru loves us. How
do we know he loves us? Can we prove it? What
are the reasons?

DEVOTEE:
I feel it.

GURUJI:
Yes, you feel it, you have the intuition that he loves
you. The whole spiritual journey is based on that
experience. When you experience something it can
be expressed in any way. Some people express it
in their actions, others by talking. Whatever way
it is, is not important. The thing is, how do you
experience it? Something tells us, something is
triggered inside, something abstract in our mind
gets concretized. The other day, I was telling
you about the Familiar Stranger. When we meet
the Sadguru we have a feeling, a vague, abstract
feeling, that we know him and he knows us. In
what way we do not know. He is a total stranger. It
is not possible to understand him, but somehow
we feel that we know him. He is strange and at
the same time familiar. It is a curious paradox.
Usually, the more we know about somebody, the
more the familiarity increases and the strange-
ness vanishes. But with a Sadguru, the more we

20
 The Familiar Stranger

know about him, the stranger and stranger he be-

comes. There is an innate attraction, love is trig-
gered in us. The familiarity relates to the love,
and the strangeness relates to the mind that tries
to understand and absorb. It wants to love as he
loves and become one with him. If at all anybody
experiences anything, it is first the love. There is
a sense of security, something that tells us, “He
knows me and what is good for me.” How do we
know? We have a feeling, an intuition. There is no
proof and it is futile to try to furnish proofs for it.

guruji:
With the Sadguru, it is as if you have known him
your whole life. But even if you stay with him
for thirty, forty, fifty years, the fact is, you do not
know him. He always remains a stranger, but at
the same time he feels more familiar than any-
body else in your life. Why? Again, no reason.
All your reasoning will end up with no reason.
[Laughter]

DEVOTEE:
Ungraspable. I find something both frustrating
and enticing in that.

GURUJI:
But that frustration is not like any other experience
of frustration that we encounter. It is frustrating,

21
Rose Petals

but it also gives us joy and happiness. It seems as

though we are solving the mystery, but actually
the mystery only becomes magnified and absorbs
us more and more. There is a story in Hindu myth-
ology about Ravana [the demon King of Lanka]
wanting to attain immortality by getting the Atma
Lingam, so he asked Lord Siva for this boon. As a
result of his ardent worship, Lord Siva granted the
boon, on condition that the Atma Lingam should
never touch the ground; once placed on the earth,
all its powers would return to Lord Siva. Ravana
started his journey back to Lanka with the Atma
Lingam. Sage Narada feared that with its power
Ravana would create havoc on earth. So he asked
Lord Ganesha [the elephant god and son of Lord
Siva] to play a trick on him in which Ganesha
managed to place the Atma Lingam on the ground.
Once installed on earth, nobody could move it, not
even Lord Siva. The more Ravana tried to remove
it, the bigger and bigger it became. Ravana wanted
to disconnect the soul from earthly experience
and become immortal. But the more you try to
do it, the bigger the mystery becomes. So huge!
[Guruji laughs]

DEVOTEE:
Does the mystery ever get solved or does it go on
growing?

GURUJI:
That also you have to find out. [Guruji laughs]

22
 The Familiar Stranger

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, wouldn’t it be a great benefit for us to get
a glimpse of that experience, the state in which
the Sadguru resides? Even if it’s just the smallest
glimpse, wouldn’t it help to clarify what we are
all searching for?

GURUJI:
Once you have that glimpse, then fear disappears
and you start loving the stranger. The glimpse
invokes interest and curiosity in you, a sense
of exploration and enquiry. Then you become
an adventurer and you are pushed towards the
goal. That glimpse will act as a trigger to make
everything clearer – what you want, what you
don’t want, what you want more of – the goal
becomes clear.

DEVOTEE:
Our connection to the Sadguru seems so myste-
rious. Somehow I feel at home with you, but at the
same time I‘m also a little nervous.

GURUJI:
Yes, there’s fear involved in it. You’re honest
enough to say that you’re afraid, but, in fact, all
these people here have fear. [Laughter]

23
Rose Petals

DEVOTEE:
Fear of what?

GURUJI:
People have different words for it: fear of involve-
ment, fear of losing our independence, fear of
what will happen – there’s a fear of the unknown.
We feel safe with concepts like ‘mukti’, ‘nirvana’,
and ‘Who am I?’ because nothing will happen!
[Guruji laughs] So we happily play with these
ideas and we’re happy. But with the guru – it’s
dangerous! “Ah, be careful! Don’t go near him!
Stay in the crowd and just look at him from a
distance.” [Laughter] Yes, it’s true!
Actually, there’s nothing one can do about
the fear. The only thing you can do about it is
to familiarize yourself with the strangeness.
To most people here when they see me, it’s
as if I’m a familiar stranger; I don’t know any
other way to express it. Because in your heart
you feel that you know me so intimately, but
at the same time I am so strange to you. And
the fear that you experience is towards that
strangeness, that unknown. So everybody, with
different degrees of intensity, is playing with
this paradox: the Familiar Stranger, who is yet
strangely familiar. And that is the whole play,
the whole game, the aesthetics and the joy of it.
There is joy in the solving of the mystery, or even
in failing to solve it. “Oh, we have solved it!” or
“Ah! I realize I haven’t solved it at all!” [Laughter]

24
 The Familiar Stranger

All these things will come and go, along with

the fear. As I told you, everyone has fear but
with different degrees of intensity. The more you
familiarize yourself with the strangeness, the
more the fear diminishes. When that happens,
you start loving the strangeness, and that para-
dox of strangeness and familiarity becomes the
mystic element, the mystery, the missing story.

25
Vijayawada, 1993
 chapter three

Resistance to Love

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, it makes me very sad that you are offering
to help me but something is preventing me from
taking the help. Why is that so?

GURUJI:
It’s due to your past habits of refusing help. Resis-
tances arise because of so many experiences in
our lives; it’s different for everybody. We’ve ex-
perienced so many traumas that it’s created a
kind of emotional frigidity in us. Try to get rid of
this, then you will experience the help more ful-
ly. What is actually causing the resistance is that
Rose Petals

frigidity. Explore every nook and corner of your

heart, then abolish it, remove it! Or at least refuse
to be a prey to it, to be at the mercy of the mind’s
pranks. Then you will get help. But you’re doing
both things: asking and resisting, asking and re-
sisting. That won’t take you anywhere, you’ll be
caught there always. It becomes so frustrating af-
ter some time, then that frustration makes you
even more frigid. So the more frustration you
have, the more frigid you become – it becomes a
cycle, a pattern, a habit.

DEVOTEE:
So what’s the way out of the cycle?

GURUJI:
That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I have given
you the diagnosis, now you have to take the
treatment: Take the help. How to accept the help?
Simply be open, wait without judgement. Don’t
try to judge the nature of the help; this is not
the time to think about that. Take the help fully,
unconditionally, wholeheartedly. And if you find
yourself judging, resisting or trying to put labels
on it, simply stop doing it! Otherwise it rein-
forces the habit. All these things, even resistances,
don’t come from the heart, they come from habit.
Our mind is habituated to think like that, to
feel like that, so again and again it repeats those
tendencies. So if at all you want to do something,
just stop that habit.

28
 Resistance to Love

DEVOTEE:
But how to stop a habit?

GURUJI:
It’s very difficult. It’s like trying to cut off the
branch you are sitting on, because you are the
habit. So, take a new habit, one which will help
you not to resist. These new habits are called ‘spir-
itual practices’ in many traditions, but to me they
are nothing more than acquiring a new habit in
order to destroy an old habit, “using one thorn to
remove another,” as Ramana Maharshi said. Be-
cause the new habit is also a thorn.

DEVOTEE:
Are the habits that get in the way labelling and
judgement?

GURUJI:
Whatever holds you back and gives you resistance
is what you have to stop. Let’s explore it fully,
whatever it is. That is real exploration. And what
comes in the way of exploration are these old
habits. So, if you can destroy the old habits without
acquiring new ones, good. But if you cannot, then
you have to acquire new habits.
All these things – sitting in satsang or medita-
tion, reading or transcribing satsangs, going to
Shirdi – are new habits, that’s all. And for those
who are experiencing love, these things become

29
Rose Petals

expressions of their love and they enjoy them.

For those who are unable to enjoy them, it is just
acquiring new habits or spiritual practices. They
may experience them differently, but in fact, it’s all
the same. So try to stop resisting. Stop throwing
the help away.

DEVOTEE:
What is the best way to weaken our resistance to
the expression of love?

GURUJI:
I think it’s not a question of resistance. When love
wants to be expressed it seeks some concrete
means. When there is no possibility of express-
ing your love concretely, then the memories of
previous expressions return. If those were ac-
companied by some pain or disappointment, then
those feelings are brought up as well. So it is not
the weakening of resistance that is needed, but
finding new concrete expressions. When new ex-
pressions are found and experienced, they slowly
replace your old memories. Each person has to
seek their own ways.

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, is there a difference between doing work

30
 Resistance to Love

or activities connected to the Guru as an expres-

sion of our love and sitting quietly meditating on
him?

GURUJI:
If you can sit quietly and meditate, it’s good, do it,
I never discourage it. The question is, can you do
it? If you can, then that’s my first preference. Be-
cause we can’t do it, we engage in activities which
strengthen the ego, which increase our sense of
separation and kill the experience of love. That’s
why I ask you to try and express whatever love
you are experiencing. Love becomes strengthened
when you express it and experience it. So with-
out your knowledge, that which is an obstacle in
you slowly gets weakened and removed, because
in love there’s no space left for yourself. All the
spaces are filled by your object of love and any-
thing related to it. Don’t try to understand what is
happening by analyzing these activities and ask-
ing, “What is their purpose? How are they related
to my goal? What kind of sadhana is this?” and
so on. This kind of questioning is not helpful. In-
stead, just do it!
I don’t use the term ‘karma yoga’ to talk about
these things. I let people engage in activities con-
nected to me solely because they love to do it,
that’s all. It’s the same for me – I also love to do it
for them. Just as you can’t help but do this work,
I also can’t help helping you; there are no other
reasons. I don’t think, “Oh, he is such a deserving

31
Rose Petals

person, he has done so much for me. I have to do

something for him.” There is no calculation. If
there’s calculation, I don’t call it love. It is some-
thing else – business! I am not a business man and
I don’t want people doing business with me.

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, I have a resistance to the crowds when I
come to festivals in Shirdi. How do I overcome
this resistance?

GURUJI:
When everyone is together, the power and inten-
sity of the experience is greater. That is why the
saints and scriptures recommend attending festi-
vals. At other times it is like sailing when there’s
no wind, but attending a festival is like sailing
when the wind is favourable, with sails unfurled.
With less effort you’ll experience something be-
cause so many like-minded people are together
and the Sadguru is foremost in everyone’s mind.
All the obstructions coming in the way of expe-
riencing love will easily be removed. Just as you
said, you have an aversion to crowds – that is an
obstruction. When this obstruction is removed,
you’ll experience Baba’s love more and respond to
it more freely. But, from Baba’s side, the love and
care are always the same wherever you are.

32
 Resistance to Love

GURUJI:
Resistance comes from longstanding habits. When
Bhagavan spoke of his death experience, even he
expressed a fear of death: first he was afraid some-
thing untoward was going to happen. Because he
was Bhagavan, the resistance lasted only a few
seconds; for us, it might have lasted a few years.
[Laughter] But qualitatively it’s the same, only
quantitatively it may differ.
All I’m trying to say is, don’t resist your expres-
sion of love. When love is spontaneously trying
to express itself, don’t suppress it with concepts
you have loaded your brain with, like “Oh, we
shouldn’t do it like this, we should do it like
that” or “We should sit like this” or “We should
speak like that”. There are no standard forms of
expression. At least try to stop your resistance to-
ward your own expression. Then your expression
becomes fuller and more natural until after some
time it takes you over completely.

GURUJI:
For many people, when their love is triggered,
they often kill it with jargon and concepts they’ve
learned from the sastras and other books, trying
to give it a name. That’s why I don’t give it a par-
ticular name. I call it love, a strange familiarity, a
pull, an attraction, a baseless and irrational feel-
ing. Good! [Guruji laughs]
And what I see is that many people – especially

33
Rose Petals

those from the other side of the globe [Guruji

laughs] – have a fear of involvement and of losing
their individuality. They don’t realize this fear is
what is making them resist.

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, I want to be burning, on fire with more
devotion. What can I do?

GURUJI:
First, let’s realize what we want; doing is next. I
think most people love the goal, no doubt about
it. But they say, “Oh, my resistances, my patterns!”
But what are those resistances? Just think about
it. They seem so stupid. First, fear: fear of being
deceived, fear of exploitation, fear of involvement
or of too much involvement. “Oh, maybe we are
too involved, it’s not good. It’s best to keep our
distance.” What will happen if you get involved?
Exploited! But what is there in you that anybody
could exploit? If you have so much, there is no
need for you to come and sit here. You like this
path and you are coming here, and if at all you
need help, you will be helped, otherwise not. Or, if
you think there’s a better way, yes, happily go and
choose that path. But do it, whatever it is! This fear
of involvement and attachment is of no use. People
come and say, “Oh, I love you, Guruji, I want to
be with you always, but I have my resistances,

34
 Resistance to Love

my patterns.” They have learnt those two words:

‘involvement’ and ‘patterns’.
If at all you love me, the real love, love of the
highest order, says, “Yes, exploit me! If anything at
all is there, I am ready to be exploited.” I have said
a thousand times sitting here, I am ready to be ex-
ploited by you. Come on, exploit me! I’m not afraid
of being exploited. [Laughter] If you have the ca-
pacity, the power, the talent, the ability to exploit
me, exploit to the fullest. I’ll enjoy your exploits.
So, if you understand this, you see how unrea-
sonable, how ridiculous, how meaningless these
fears are, this fear of commitment – no, ‘commit-
ment’ is too strong a word, maybe ‘involvement’
is better. In what else will you be involved, in
order to evolve? And without involvement, how
will evolvement come?

DEVOTEE:
In opening my heart, I’m encountering scars from
when I’ve been hurt before in love, and those mem-
ories make me hold back. Do I just wait and pray
that these hurtful scars in my heart will be taken
away?

GURUJI:
First, you became aware of these scars when your
heart was opening. How to cure or remove them?
Love is the balm that will cure them.

35
Rose Petals

DEVOTEE:
Does the Sadguru trigger that love?

GURUJI:
Yes. The one who opens and triggers it, he will
also do the open-heart surgery. [Guruji laughs]
The opening is not your act. You can’t open your
own heart and do the surgery.
The first song of the morning arati, written by
Tukaram1, expresses this connection of love with
worthiness. He says, “Oh, Panduranga, my Be-
loved, I do not know whether I have love for you in
my heart or not.” He doesn’t even know whether
what he has in his heart is love, whether he is
worthy or unworthy, whether he knows how to
remember his Beloved’s name or not, or whether
what he is saying is simply prattle. He begs his
Sadguru, “Whatever it may be, whoever I am,
whether I am worthy or unworthy, whether I love
you or not, please cast your gracious glance on me!
Please give me your love!” Not, can you give me
your love? But, give me your love!
So the concept of worthiness has no place when
real love is triggered in your heart: you feel you
have a right to that love. It’s not our worthiness
which makes him give it, it’s his worthiness which
gives it. The whole concept of worthiness shifts.
1
Tukaram (1598-1649) – Medieval poet-saint of the Varkari
pilgrimage tradition to Pandharpur, Maharashtra, where Lord
Panduranga (Vithoba) is worshipped as a form of Sri Krishna. Five
of his poems have been incorporated into the Shirdi Aratis, the daily
liturgy of hymns to Sai Baba.

36
 Resistance to Love

We don’t get love because we are worthy, but be-

cause the Sadguru himself is an embodiment of
love, mercy and compassion. Shift the focus from
your worthiness to his worthiness, that’s enough.

37
Tirumala, 1995
 chapter four

Reading the Lives of Saints

devotee:
Guruji, do you recommend reading any particular
books or scriptures?

GURUJI:
As long as you feel the need to do something, then
I would say there are two categories of readers.
The first are those who haven’t yet found an object
that triggers the spontaneous flow of their love.
Until that happens, they should read the lives of
the saints. In that way, they may get an abstract
idea of a saint’s qualities, or find a concrete form
which triggers their love. Once love is triggered,
Rose Petals

the second category would be reading more about

everything connected to their object of love; this
then becomes an expression and nurturing of their
love.
Just as you ask me, “We want to know more about
you, where you were born, where you met your
Master,” and so on, these kinds of things – what
are these questions? Do you really need to know
all these things? Are they important knowledge?
No, they are an expression of your love. So, at the
first stage, one sort of reading; at the second stage,
another. But in general, if one feels a need for
reading, then my first recommendation is to read
the lives of the saints, because they are real. What-
ever is my understanding of Ramana, it should
be based on his life, on how he lived; that is real-
ity. So, the first category comes before love is trig-
gered; it is the exploration for an object of love.
Once we have found it, then our reading becomes
an expression of our love.
Actually, even Ramana recommended reading
the lives of the saints. One day a Western gentle-
man was sitting in Bhagavan’s presence, reading a
Vedantic commentary on the Brahma Sutra. There
was no one else in the hall at the time, and it was
one of the very rare occasions where Bhagavan
spoke directly in English. He asked, “What are you
reading?” The devotee replied, “I’m reading this
commentary ....” Then Bhagavan said, “Why don’t
you go to the library and read about Milarepa?”
Just one year before, Evans-Wentz had visited

40
 Reading the Lives of Saints

the ashram and presented Ramana with a copy

of his biography on Milarepa, and now Bhagavan
was saying, “Go and read that book!” To close In-
dian devotees he would also recommend reading
the lives of the saints. And it was the lives of saints
which also influenced Bhagavan – more than the
Brahma Sutra, Bhagavad Gita or the Upanishads – es-
pecially the Periya Puranam [‘Great History’], the
classical Tamil work on the lives of the 63 Saivite
saints [Nayanmars], which contains no philoso-
phy at all.
Another time, a close devotee of Bhagavan’s,
called Krishna Bhikshu, the author of the most
authentic biography of Sri Ramana in Telugu, Sri
Ramana Leela, told me that one day he had asked,
“Bhagavan, we are enjoying your presence now,
but when you pass away, what will be our fate?”
Then Bhagavan immediately said, “Why? The bio-
graphy is there.” He was almost suggesting it as
a subtle substitute for his presence. So, again, he
was referring to the importance of reading the lives
of the saints.

DEVOTEE:
It seems impossible to really know Baba through
books.

GURUJI:
It depends on what way you want to know him.

41
Rose Petals

Do you want to know the life of Sai Baba? If that’s

the case, then, yes, only through books, otherwise
how can you know about him?

DEVOTEE:
Yesterday, I was doing pradakshina at Gurusthan1
and I was really wondering how can I know him?
There was something there I knew I couldn’t read
in a book, something more, but I don’t know what
it is.

GURUJI:
The question of ‘more’ comes when you think
what you’re getting is ‘less’. First, let’s know what
is there already in the books. Then, if you still
want to know more, we’ll see. From the start, al-
ready thinking that books are not needed – do you
think that’s a wise attitude? Anything connected
to Baba is important, whether it is in a book or
somebody speaks of it, whatever it may be. Why is
it important? Why do you want to know? Because
you love him. And all these things actually fos-
ter your love for him, making your abstract sense
of fulfilment more and more concrete. This is the
process of concretization.
So I don’t undermine the value of knowing
the life of a saint; it is important too. Where Baba

1
Gurusthan (Skt. ‘Guru’s abode’) is the area around the Neem tree
under which Baba lived when he first arrived in Shirdi, now located
within the temple compound. It is considered a sacred place for pra-
dakshina [circumambulation] and meditation.

42
 Reading the Lives of Saints

lived, when he first arrived, where and how he

sat, what he ate and did, where he went, what he
said. Not only giving importance to his words, but
wanting to know even where he answered the call
of nature. Now even that place is sacred; it’s called
Lendi.2 Everything connected to him is sacred and
dear to us, that is our expression of love. Why do
you go to see Khandoba temple? Did Baba stay
there? What is the connection? Just because he set
foot there once or twice it is significant. So when
we have an object of love, everything connected to
it becomes important – we become almost greedy
to know more. It becomes almost an obsession.
That is a characteristic, a quality of love, and a
powerful means by which our love expresses it-
self and grows.
When love is there, you read books with interest
and a curious mind, wanting to know everything
about your object of love. When you read a book
with love, you remember everything; otherwise,
you can read and read without remembering any-
thing. So learning is fostered by love, and if you
really love Sai Baba, you’ll come to know every-
thing about him.

2 Lendi is a small garden with a waterfall situated within the temple

compound in Shirdi. There, suspended between two trees, hangs a
perpetually-burning lamp, called Nanda Deep, which was originally
lit by Sai Baba.

43
Rose Petals

DEVOTEE:
The steps to get things in the material world seem
clear, but the steps towards our spiritual goal are
not so clear.

GURUJI:
They are also very clear. I am telling you, think of
nothing else except Baba, always focus on him. If
you talk, talk about Baba. If you think, think about
Baba. If you read, read about Baba. Read about his
life, you’ll understand. It’s so clear – talk, think,
read – only three words I’ve said. It’s even easi-
er than getting money in the material world. No
problem! I have told you how to achieve your goal.
It’s so simple! [Guruji laughs]

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, to be able to think and speak of Baba, don’t
we need a clear conception or experience of him
to do that?

GURUJI:
That is why I advise you to read the story of his
life, to have satsang and to be in contact with him
in all these ways. Like that, you’ll gain a clear pic-
ture, a clear conception, a clear understanding of
him.

DEVOTEE:
If one’s mind and heart are going to be focussed

44
 Reading the Lives of Saints

on Baba like that all the time, then there has to be

a sense of how he permeates all aspects of our life.
You yourself have spoken of Baba as being much
vaster than the form who lived and died on this
planet.

GURUJI:
It’s okay. But how he permeates, whether he per-
meates or not, don’t worry about that for now. The
point is, I’m asking you to focus on Baba. Some-
body once came to me and asked, “I’m in trouble,
I need money.” I said, “Okay, I’ll give you a job.”
“But I asked you for money, not a job!” he said.
[Laughter]
“Yes, but why do you think I’m giving you a
job? Precisely to get money!” It is just like that.
Whatever state you want, I am telling you to focus
on Baba. Whether you like it or not, that’s the job
I’m giving you. Just do it!

DEVOTEE:
When I read about the great saints like Sri Rama-
krishna and Sri Ramana, they seem to go through
so much in their lives. I remember you asked once,
if we were given the choice, would we really want
to live like Ramana? Even though I have an aspira-
tion to get the fruit he got, I’m not sure I want to
go through the difficulties of the ripening process.

45
Rose Petals

GURUJI:
What state did he reach? You speak as if you al-
ready know it.

DEVOTEE:
I don’t, but we must aspire to something.

GURUJI:
Then aspire for your own fulfilment; they aspired
for their fulfilment. That is why I never ask any-
one to become a Ramana or a Ramakrishna. You
have your own abstract sense of fulfilment, try
to concretize it in your own way. Otherwise, it
becomes imitation.

DEVOTEE:
Yes, but is there not a value in reading the lives of
the saints?

GURUJI:
Yes, but what we have to see is their intensity of ap-
plication, their dedication and their commitment.
If somebody comes and gives you a lecture, “Don’t
be so intense, be sober, otherwise people will call
you mad. Everything should have its limits,” then
let the lives of the great saints be a guiding light. If
at all you want that state, the process should be so
intense that people may call you mad! So what?!
Or, if you don’t want that, simply give it up. There
is no question of halfway. And don’t try to deceive
yourselves by thinking that you are seekers like

46
 Reading the Lives of Saints

those great saints. “Ramana did Self-enquiry, I am

also doing Self-enquiry. Ramakrishna cried for
Kali, I am also crying for God. Buddha was seek-
ing the Truth, I am also seeking it.” You are not!
It’s their dedication, their commitment and their
application that we have to learn from their lives,
not that we have to imitate them.

DEVOTEE:
But it seems in their cases they couldn’t help being
like that.

GURUJI:
If they could help it, they definitely wouldn’t have
been like that! [Laughter] We are the persons who
can help ourselves, that is why we find ourselves
like this. So sane, controlled and sober! Hmm?
Their intensity was so much that they couldn’t
help themselves, that’s why some people called
them mad.

DEVOTEE:
Does a saint have preferences?

GURUJI:
They say they don’t have preferences. Ramana
Maharshi said he didn’t even have a mind to wish
something, so how could he have preferences?
There were no references to have the preferences!

47
Rose Petals

[Guruji laughs] And even if they had preferences,

so what? They definitely had the preference that
we should all become like them. Their first prefer-
ence was that everyone should be happy and free
– that was their preference. Good! Nothing wrong
in it. Anyhow, why do you always think about
what a saint’s state is like? Is it possible for you to
really know? There are no means by which you can
know how a saint is and how he works. Ramana
Maharshi himself, when asked about the state of a
jnani, said, “Until you gain jnana, you cannot un-
derstand the state of a jnani. There is no use asking
about the work of Iswara [God] and the rest. Even
if I tell you, can you understand it?” Again and
again I tell you – mind your own business! Find
out what your problem is and try to solve it. Let us
confine ourselves to that and focus on that.

DEVOTEE:
But asking questions about a saint’s state is some-
how an expression of our urge to understand our
own longing.

GURUJI:
To satisfy that urge is the meaning of reading the
lives of the saints. Have that urge, go on exploring
it, but always remember that you are only ex-
ploring. Don’t jump to conclusions. Don’t think
that you know. If you ask me about that state and
I answer, you take it as a conclusion and assume
that you know, then your exploration stops there.

48
 Reading the Lives of Saints

If you want to know whether Baba had prefer-

ences or not, explore! Go and read Baba’s life.
Once, twice, thrice, a hundred, a thousand times!
Read it, try to find out! And when you find the
answer, tell me, then I’ll know too. And, whether
it is true or not, I will also explore again. But your
minds have become such that you only want
answers; this kills the spirit of enquiry, the thrill,
the excitement. It’s good to have the questions and
to try to find the answers, but it’s the exploring
itself that is so beautiful! Explore!

49
Shirdi, 2008
 chapter five

Effort from the Heart

GURUJI:
In many religious philosophies there is confusion
about whether the state of nirvana is gradual or
instantaneous. Some people say it is sudden, like
satori, while others say it happens gradually, in
stages, and that even the Buddha got it in stages.
Still others deny this, saying that Buddha got nir-
vana instantaneously; his was a sudden, effortless
realization. What is the truth? The truth lies some-
where in-between the two.
I will give you an example: You go to a mango
orchard and see a beautiful, ripe mango growing
on a tree. You pick up a stone and try to knock it
down. You aim one stone and miss the target. You
Rose Petals

throw another stone and miss. Seven, eight, nine

stones miss. The tenth stone hits the target and it
falls. Tell me: did the mango fall with ten stones or
one? Hmm? Tell me! If it’s with one, you’d have got
it with the first stone. And if you say ten stones,
did all ten hit the target? No, it came down with
only one stone. But the point is, the one which hit
the mango was the tenth. The previous nine stones
gave you the art of throwing accurately so that the
tenth hit the target. Once one stone hits the target
it’s over, but the whole process is learning the art
of hitting it. For some, it may take ten times, for
others three, for others, it may take a hundred or
even a thousand – or only one. If you really want
the mango, you’ll go on throwing until you learn
the art and hit it. I say ‘art’, not ‘science’.

DEVOTEE:
What do you mean by ‘art’?

GURUJI:
Do you play badminton? When the shuttlecock
comes, do you calculate its force and angle? Do you
calculate its mass, the speed of the wind against
it and the surface of your racquet? And then, after
calculating all this – that squared, this squared –
do you hit it? Does anybody do that? [Laughter]
First, when the shuttlecock comes, a beginner
misses it. But with practice, you learn the art of
returning it. You simply come to know. Spontane-
ously and effortlessly you hit the shuttle in such a

52
 Effort from the Heart

way that it goes across the net. A good athlete is

an artist because he doesn’t calculate.

DEVOTEE:
To make effort, do we need to have an experience
or glimpse of what we seek?

GURUJI:
It is not necessary. If you are really vexed with
your present condition, it is enough. Either you
should feel the need to get something or to get rid
of something. Often both are not there; we are not
so anxious to get rid of something, and we are not
burning to get something. So, our so-called sadh-
ana becomes almost routine, something artificial
which doesn’t touch our heart. When I say effort
is not needed, I’m referring to that routine kind of
effort. But, when love for something is triggered,
or you are so vexed with your present condition of
being that you want to get rid of it, that is the basis
for right effort.
If you are about to drown, you grab for even a
blade of grass hoping it may save you – you have
no choice. You don’t think, “Is this blade of grass
really going to save me, considering my weight
and the velocity of flow?” You don’t think of all
these things, you simply grab whatever comes to
you. This is spontaneous effort, made from great
need.

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Rose Petals

When love is triggered, you want to experience

it more and express it. That process may appear
from the outside as an effort, but it’s not really an
effort. I call it an expression, because effort is such
a misleading term, implying a goal, a practice, a
path and so on. I am not asking you to tread a path.
I haven’t defined a path or promised any destina-
tion. I’m talking about spontaneous expressions of
love, helpless expressions. You may call them effort,
I don’t mind. They are not needed to achieve any-
thing but to experience something. They are not
a means towards an end, they are themselves
fulfilling. But, for those in whom this love is not
triggered, even if I sit here and give discourses for
a thousand years, they won’t understand it. They
may still ask, “What is the difference between this
effort and that effort?” That difference is so subtle
and so subjective that you can’t define it or differ-
entiate it. So, if you ask me the question whether
effort is needed or not, what can I say? In one sense,
yes; in another sense, no. So, it is futile to enter
into discussion, or to form a dogma or a doctrine
claiming that effort is needed or is not needed, or
to say, “It all happens by grace.” This doesn’t mean
anything. First, we have to understand what effort
is, why people make effort, what their attitude is
towards effort – all the different shades of mean-
ing and connotations that effort has for different
people.

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 Effort from the Heart

GURUJI:
So effort should come from the heart, not from de-
termination or some kind of discipline. It should
mingle and fuse with your emotion. Once effort is
fused with your emotion, then everything you do
becomes part of it, and that emotion allows your
focus to be there naturally in all things. The ef-
fort becomes an expression of your emotion. That
is why I say meditation is not a way or means to
achieve something, but instead to relish an expe-
rience. That is real meditation. Just imagine, you
love Baba, but you haven’t had a chance to sit with
him for some time. Then, finally, you are happily
sitting there enjoying the experience. Enjoying,
not struggling to get something. If you really love
Baba, do you need to make an effort to focus on
him? You simply experience him. For instance, af-
ter taking a meal you feel satisfied and no longer
hungry, so you take a siesta, happily relaxing. That
is meditation. And how does this happen? From
love. As long as you have love, it’ll come natural-
ly. Then everything becomes part of it. Everything
becomes meditation, because all our actions are
expressing our experience. That is why I say ‘ex-
perience and express’. That is the ‘express-way’!
[Laughter]

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, does realization depend upon our efforts?

55
Rose Petals

GURUJI:
How realization happens, when it happens, what
efforts are needed, whether practices culminate in
satori or moksha or are totally unconnected to
them – all these questions are just other koans
in the field of spirituality. When the Buddha at-
tained nirvana, was it because he had practised all
kinds of meditations and yogas, studied different
schools of philosophy, and performed austerities
for six years? He came to Bodhgaya and sat down
under a bodhi tree. He felt that all his extreme ef-
forts were futile and useless. He said, “I will sit
here until I find the solution to my question and
discover the truth. Otherwise, I won’t get up from
this seat, let me die here!” He sat, and then he at-
tained enlightenment.

DEVOTEE:
Isn’t it a bit like the example you give of the stones
and the mango?

GURUJI:
In one way yes, because Buddha realized the fu-
tility of all those practices and schools, and may-
be that’s how he got the determination to sit like
that. But sitting there and getting what he got, in
another way, was totally unconnected to what he
had practised. So we can’t say it is a culmina-
tion of practice, and we can’t simply brush aside
practice saying it has nothing to do with it. It has
something to do with it, but nothing to do with it!

56
 Effort from the Heart

That is the mystery.

The persons who have realized it, they say that
it was sudden, instantaneous, effortless. “It just
came to me,” they say. And that is like the tenth
stone. So in one way it’s gradual, in another way
sudden.

GURUJI:
For a period of time, after I came to my Master, I
also explored different techniques of meditation
and all these things – almost the whole gamut of
spiritual practices. But the fulfilment I got had no-
thing to do with all the things I had done. Maybe
they all added up to that experience, like the nine
stones in the mango tree story, before the tenth
stone hits the mark. But, when I explored all those
techniques, my need was to solve a personal prob-
lem, not because they were sadhanas prescribed
by the scriptures, nothing like that. It was an ur-
gent problem for me and I just had to find some
way through it, one way or another.

GURUJI:
A Buddhist will say, “You have to earn your own
nirvana. Buddhas only show the way and you have
to tread it.” And on the devotional path they say,
“There’s nothing you can do, effort is not needed.

57
Rose Petals

Everything comes by Guru’s grace.” Which is true?

Both are correct. And both are wrong, if you stick
to the extreme positions. The truth lies somewhere
in-between the two.

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, you said we need to make effort to
change our patterns, but you also said we can’t
do anything and Baba will take care. It seems to
be paradoxical.

GURUJI:
There are two reasons for that. One is, you don’t
trust that the Sadguru will do it. So you always
ask, “What am I to do? Any practice, any medita-
tion technique, any sadhana?” You still have a
need to do something, to make some effort. The
second reason is, effort is needed so that things
don’t get worse. [Laughter]
Baba has bought you a ticket. He has put you
into the train in the first class compartment. All
you have to do is stay on the train and not get
down somewhere on the way. That’s all. But if you
see a beautiful station and think, “Oh, I want to get
down here,” then sticking to the train feels like a
big effort. Then Baba has to give you an instruction,
“Don’t do it! Stay on the train, stick to it.” It feels
like an effort, but in fact it is not.

58
 Effort from the Heart

DEVOTEE:
But isn’t staying on the train choiceless?

GURUJI:
If it is choiceless, then no effort is needed and we
stay happily. The problem is, we are not in a state
of choicelessness. We still have so many choices,
so many things to choose from, and Baba is one
among these. When there is only one choice we
don’t call it choice – there’s nothing to choose.

DEVOTEE:
For me, it’s more helpful to be told I have to make
an effort, so that finally I’ll come to the point
where I’ll give up making effort. But if someone
told me from the start, “You don’t need to make
effort,” I don’t think I’d get anywhere.

GURUJI:
I’m not saying effort is not needed. I’m not saying
that. Only know the limitations of effort. You
make effort because you need it and you have to
do what is needed. So you learn all this effort is
needed to make you realize its fruitlessness, its
limitations. What’s going to give you the experi-
ence is grace, not effort, and when it comes you
receive it, not achieve it. Effort only makes you
receptive to grace. Otherwise, even if grace is
given, you aren’t able to receive it.

59
Rose Petals

DEVOTEE:
What do you think the Buddha meant by ‘right
effort’?

GURUJI:
It can be understood in many ways, all of which
point to the same thing. First, why do we make
effort? The other day I was explaining that all
human endeavours, all our efforts, are consciously
or unconsciously directed to the concretization of
our abstract sense of fulfilment. If we keep mak-
ing effort without knowing exactly what it is we
want, we will realize our efforts are fruitless. So,
this would not be called ‘right effort’. Also, all
effort implies a sense of achievement, and effort
done with a strong sense of achievement is futile
in most cases and bound to fail. So, it also is not
the ‘right effort’ that the Buddha spoke of.
Just two days ago, a boy was telling me his
problem in trying to study for his examinations.
“I am studying and studying, preparing for my
examinations, but I can’t remember a thing.” But,
if you really look closely, that same boy who can’t
remember a sentence he has repeated a thousand
times, can immediately tell you the words to a
song from a movie released ten years ago. He’ll tell
you which movie, which director and even repeat
the whole dialogue. Is his memory so poor? Or, he

60
 Effort from the Heart

can still recall all the characters and the author of

a novel he read fifteen years ago, even though he
only read it once and never tried to remember it.
But, when he’s trying to memorize something in
his studies, he fails to remember even a single fact.
So, an effort which isn’t experienced as effort is
the ‘right effort’. It’s so effortless it doesn’t feel like
an effort at all. We make effort when we are pulled
to do something but, at the same time, we are
drawn in different directions by our other pulls,
so we fail. But when all our pulls, all the emotions
in our heart are harmonized and put into order,
then the ‘effort’ springing from that harmony
is ‘right effort’. That’s why in Sanskrit it’s called
samyag vyayama. In fact ‘right effort’ is not an exact
translation for what the Buddha said. ‘Samyag’ is
usually translated as ‘right’, but actually it means,
‘that which has samma’, a kind of evenness and
unity springing from a complete and perfect
harmony of the heart. Then everything we do,
everything we see, everything we speak, every-
thing we think, expresses that harmony. And that
is right effort, right seeing, right thinking, right
speaking, and right living.

61
Shirdi, 2004
 chapter six

Topsy-Turvy in a Well

Baba’s account in the Shri Sai Satcharita: 

“I was hungry and thirsty and I was moved by the
Vanjari’s extraordinary love; we thought ourselves
very learned but were strangers to kindness. The
Vanjari [tradesman] was a quite illiterate, unquali-
fied fellow and belonged to a low caste. Still, he
had love in his heart and asked us to eat his bread.
In this way, he who loves others disinterestedly
is really enlightened and I thought acceptance of
his hospitality was the best beginning of getting
knowledge. So, very respectfully, I accepted the
loaf of bread offered, ate it and drank water.
Rose Petals

Then he said, “Would you like to come with me?

I will show you what you want, but he alone will
be successful who believes in what I say.” Then he
[the Guru] took me to a well, tied my feet with a
rope and hung me, head downwards and feet up,
from a tree near the well. I was suspended three
feet above the water, which I could not reach with
my hands or with my mouth. After suspending
me in this manner he went away, no one knew
where. After 4 or 5 hours he returned and, after
taking me out quickly, asked me how I fared. “In
bliss supreme, I was. How can a fool like me de-
scribe the joy I experienced?” I replied. On hearing
my answer the Guru was much pleased with me,
drew me near him and, stroking my head with his
hand, kept me with him! He took care of me as
tenderly as a mother bird does of her young ones.
He put me into his school, how beautiful it was!
There I forgot my parents, all my attachments
were snapped and I was liberated easily. I thought
that I should embrace him and keep staring at him
always. My Guru became my all in all, my home,
my mother and father, everything. All my senses
left their places and concentrated themselves in
my eyes, and my sight was centred on him. Thus,
my Guru was my sole object of meditation and I
was conscious of none else. While meditating on
him, my mind and intellect were silent and I had
thus to keep quiet and bow to him in silence.”
– Shri Sai Satcharita by G. R. Dabholkar, adapted by
N. V. Gunaji, Chapter 32 [edited].

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 Topsy-Turvy in a Well

GURUJI:
Baba said he was in search of his guru and when
he met him, his guru gave him food. Food means
life. His guru put him topsy-turvy, upside down,
into a well and Baba experienced unbounded hap-
piness! That’s what he said. Sai Baba often used to
speak in an allegorical or symbolic way. He said
his guru was a vanjari, a tradesman, who had a low
status in society, who worked and earned his own
bread. And he’s the one who gave him mukti, who
put him topsy-turvy in the well. Everything he
thought was turned topsy-turvy, his whole being
was turned upside down. On many occasions in
life we can feel turned upside down, but when
it happened to Baba through such a competent
Sadguru, he experienced unbounded happiness.
After that, he loved his guru so much he would
go on looking affectionately at his face day and
night. The guru was his sole object of meditation
and Baba had no other goal but him. Like this,
he said he spent about twelve years with him,
although that may also be symbolic, of course, the
twelve years.

GURUJI:
Baba said that when he was looking at his guru
he forgot himself. All his vital forces became

65
Rose Petals

concentrated in his sight and he was in ecstasy.

Even later, when he was apart from him, he was
never deprived of his company; his guru was al-
ways with him. And that’s what Baba also tells us,
“Wherever you go in the wide world, I am with
you, my abode is in your heart. Even if you are
beyond the seven seas, my watchful glance will
be upon you.”

DEVOTEE:
Is this similar to what happened with Rumi and
his guru, Shams, when they stayed in a room to-
gether for many weeks?1

GURUJI:
Rumi said that he was in a state of ecstasy in the
presence of his Beloved. And even later, after
Shams disappeared, Rumi’s ecstasy continued.
Shams gave him a taste of ecstasy and it contin-
ued his whole life. That theme is there in the
Sufi tradition – spending an intense, prolonged
time with the Sadguru, the murshid, experiencing
ecstasy and then the ecstasy continuing even
afterward when out in the world. But don’t take
the utterances of a Sufi saint literally; they may
be either symbolic or actual happenings, we can’t

1
Jalaluddin Rumi (1207-1273 CE), held to be one of the greatest Sufi
poets and mystics, whose poetry in Persian was largely inspired by
devotion to his teacher, the legendary Sufi mystic, Shams–i Tabrizi
(d.1247 CE).

66
 Topsy-Turvy in a Well

really say. Take, for example, the story of Baba

hanging topsy-turvy in the well. There were
certain practices of the Sufi saints which coincide
with the practice of hanging upside down.2

DEVOTEE:
How are we to understand this story of Baba
hanging upside down in the well?

GURUJI:
It’s not that he was simply hanging in the well for
twelve years. After he had a glimpse of what he
was seeking, he came out of the well and stuck to
the source of his bliss, his Sadguru. The aim was
to get the bliss, not to remain in the well! [Guruji
laughs] If we look at it symbolically, the well is not
the well and the water is not the water. The well
signifies depth. If we are having a spiritual expe-
rience, we feel as if we are going deeper, actually
diving. Even when we need to find a solution to a
question we are told, “Dive deeply, think deeply!”
Not that there is actually some depth, but when
we go inside, it is experienced as depth. The goal
is not the well, but the water, which signifies bliss.
Baba stuck to the one who gave him that bliss, his

2
It was a rare ascetic practice called Chilla-i-Ma’kusa associated
with the Chishti Order; see Shri Sai Satcharita by G. R. Dabholkar
(Hemadpant), Tr. Kher (New Delhi: Sterling, 1999), p. 531, n.5.

67
Rose Petals

Sadguru, and was totally focused on him with

love. He didn’t say that he had done sadhana, tan-
tra, Self-enquiry or anything.
If we were to recast Baba’s account today it
could be read like this: “My Guru made me see
the depths of my own being – there all my so-
called knowledge, patterns and ways of knowing
became topsy-turvy – and I had a glimpse of bliss.
Then I stayed with the one who made me experi-
ence that.” Read it that way and you’ll understand
the whole mystery of Baba’s well experience.

DEVOTEE:
What is bliss?

GURUJI:
Fulfilment, happiness, a state where nothing is
missing, where there’s a sense of having every-
thing. That experience is possible for a person
like Sai Baba who was capable of focusing all his
senses and vital forces on his guru and staying
twelve years with him. The glimpse of that ex-
perience can come in different ways. For some,
the Sadguru triggers something in their heart, a
sense that, “Here, we get something” – a sense
of assurance, of happiness – something inexpli-
cable, mysterious, an attraction which gives an
unpromised promise of getting fulfilment. This
is what I call the abstract sense of fulfilment and
the Sadguru is a concrete symbol of that.

68
 Topsy-Turvy in a Well

DEVOTEE:
So, if the focus is not there in the same way as it
was for Baba, will the experience be diluted?

GURUJI:
It’s not actually about the focus but the readiness
for such a focus. Before Baba had the well expe-
rience he didn’t have the focus but he had the
potentiality. He was ready for such a focus and
the experience gave it to him. Before, his sense
of fulfilment was abstract and then, in the well,
he experienced it in a concrete way through
the grace of his guru, and afterward his focus
remained on him.

DEVOTEE:
So what does this readiness depend upon?

GURUJI:
The harmony of our pulls, of our emotions – that is
the readiness. It is the dish in which the experience
is served. I’m not saying this is the qualification.
Don’t go to the extreme of thinking that you have
to be qualified in this way, otherwise you’ll always
be seeking what you don’t really want and you
won’t get it. And, even if you get it, you won’t be
happy. We get according to our nature, our being,
our needs and our desires, and then we evolve
towards that harmony.

69
Rose Petals

DEVOTEE:
You have said that when difficulties arise we have
to experience them. How can we be with unpleas-
ant experiences while they are going on?

GURUJI:
If you can withstand it, you have to explore in
your own way when you are in the middle of the
difficulty. That exploration, that effort itself, will
give you the strength not to run away but to face
the situation in a new way, and to investigate
what is actually lacking in yourself. We need that
strength to get the fulfilment which is our very
own, and which we have earned.

DEVOTEE:
Do we have to earn it?

GURUJI:
Even with the great saints, we see their need was
so much and they had reached such maturity
in their seeking for fulfilment that the Sadguru
gave them the mystic experience. But it is after
this that their so-called spiritual practice begins.
Look at Baba’s life. He met his guru. His guru
hung him topsy-turvy in a well and he got that
experience of bliss. But that was the beginning,
not the end. He spent twelve years with his guru,
totally focused on him. Is it because he was to-
tally focused on his guru that he got it or did he
get it simply by grace? And if he got it, why did

70
 Topsy-Turvy in a Well

he have to spend twelve years with his guru? Is

that earning it or getting it by grace? He earned
it, but he earned it in such a way that he earned
it with grace. If you understand this dichotomy,
then you’ll understand whether one has to earn it
or whether it happens by grace. The distinction is
so subtle and so fine, it is something in-between.
And for the one who experiences it, there are no
words to express it.

GURUJI:
One thing is very important: don’t think in ex-
tremes of black and white. Don’t judge anything
unless you have the sufficient resources to do so.
We only have a series of hypotheses. The truth
cannot be judged or understood in black and
white terms – “If it is not like this, then it should
be like that; if it is not like that, then it should
be like this” – the mind is trained to think in
these patterns. In every satsang I show you a se-
ries of these kinds of paradoxes, these enigmas,
and how the truth lies somewhere in-between.
Trying to see that ‘in-between’, reading between
the lines, is the art of life, the art of spirituality.
And if you want someone to spell it out, to write
lines about it, you’ll miss the target because the
truth lies beyond the lines. If you are happy with
the meaning you get while reading the lines, no
problem. But the problem is, you are not satisfied

71
Rose Petals

with it, so I’m trying to show you the meaning

by redirecting your attention to the subtle beauty
in-between the lines – it’s poetry, not prose!
Actually, that is what Baba meant when his
guru showed him bliss when he hung him topsy-
turvy in the well. Does the quality of the bliss
have anything to do with hanging upside down?
Whether he was this way or that way, the bliss is
the same.

DEVOTEE:
So in this context, what does topsy-turvy actually
mean?

GURUJI:
It means the patterns and process by which we
acquire knowledge and understand things have
become topsy-turvy. His patterns were broken
and destroyed and that was his guru’s way, his
poetry.

DEVOTEE:
So there must be another way of knowing that
we’re not familiar with because of our habitual
way of thinking and understanding things.

GURUJI:
You understand in patterns only. I’m asking you to
break your patterns and the most difficult pattern

72
 Topsy-Turvy in a Well

is the pattern in which you understand things.

You think your understanding and concepts are
the patterns, but the way you understand is itself a
pattern. It’s at a very subtle level in you. I’m asking
you to look into that.

DEVOTEE:
It sounds like you have to remake us, Guruji!

GURUJI:
That’s what I’m trying to do! [Laughter] That’s
why I’m trying to break your patterns and divert
your attention to the subtle beauty in-between the
lines. What I say – the lines – is not that important.
I’m only concerned about the process.

GURUJI:
One day you’ll see the reality as it is. When you
see the reality as it is, that’s when you’ll have
the guts to see real love. Because then real com-
munication begins and the old interpretations
stop, when the mind doesn’t work anymore. Then
you see the reality. In the meantime it will go
on. I think this is why all you people are here:
to stop the interpretations of the mind. You have
to realize that these interpretations are false, so
some experience will happen that shatters your
concepts and patterns. And after some time the
mind becomes tired, exhausted, and then it says,

73
Rose Petals

“Ah, no more interpretations!” Then it starts see-

ing the reality. Then you have the first glimpses
of bliss.

GURUJI:
Baba’s idea is that our concepts, our so-called
knowledge, has to become topsy-turvy, and then
we’ll experience bliss. The Sadguru first blasts our
concepts and makes them topsy-turvy, whatever
the concepts are. There are no good or bad con-
cepts, concepts are concepts.

DEVOTEE:
Spiritual traditions use so many techniques to
break our patterns and concepts. What is Baba’s
way then?

GURUJI:
He simply breaks the pattern. Without need of a
technique the pattern is gone! It can happen at any
moment – in a satsang, or when we are just looking
at a mountain or at the Ganges – things we have al-
ready done a thousand times. Something happens
in us – and suddenly a pattern is broken. That’s all!
Then you find you are not the same person, your
way of thinking changes. What happened we do
not know, but we notice something has changed
in us. Something has simply been taken away and
something else has come in. We feel we are new,

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 Topsy-Turvy in a Well

that the path is new, and the whole world takes on

a new dimension. That Baba can do!

75
Shirdi, 2005
 chapter seven

The Unending Love Story

GURUJI:
Real love needs to be expressed.

DEVOTEE:
What are the ways we can express our love?

GURUJI:
First, experience the love, then automatically the
expression will come. Everyone has a different
way. If there are five children in a house, will they
all love in the same way? Each will have his own
expression. It is enough that we don’t retard or
suppress the expression with our mighty reason
Rose Petals

and rationality. I stress emotion not because I am

afraid of the intellect or intellectual analysis, but
because I know they are limited and incomplete.
A mother loves her child unconditionally, with-
out reasoning or analyzing.
Real security comes out of love. People believe
faith gives security, but it is not faith, it is love.
Love elicits faith. Do you think the relationship
between the child and the mother is one of faith
or love? A child has immense faith in the mother,
yes, but why? Because she loves the mother, she
depends on the mother, she is the child of the
mother, that’s all. It is not faith based on some
reason or logic or theory. It is not based on the
qualifications of the mother.

DEVOTEE:
But doesn’t love take time to grow?

GURUJI:
It grows when it is expressed, it doesn’t grow of
its own accord. First, we must be aware that we
have love, then the more it’s expressed, the more
it grows. What are all the rituals of bhakti? They
are expressions of love. Just as a father, when he
comes home from work, brings a toy or a dress
for his child. The child does not want a dress or
toy, she just wants her father to give her some-
thing. The more he starts giving, the more her
attachment grows to the father and the more the
father is attached to her. Does the father ever say,

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“No, my love should be kept in my heart and not

expressed, after all, what is the use of all these
expressions?” Does a father ever speak like that?
Rather, if he doesn’t express his love, if he doesn’t
hold his child and kiss her, he himself will come
to realize after some time that his love for the
child has become dry. So love should always be
expressed. All these rituals, people doing namas-
kar, lighting incense, offering flowers, are mani-
festations of bhakti, they are expressions of love.
As long as they are expressions of love, they are
real rituals, otherwise they are worthless. Any act
becomes a puja if it is an expression of love.

Devotee:
Guruji, can devotion be encouraged, or does it
come spontaneously?

GURUJI:
The initial triggering of devotion should happen
spontaneously. But once it has sprouted you can
nurture it in various ways. Those things we do
when we love someone, those same actions, in
their effect, will trigger the same emotions. For
instance, if someone composes a beautiful piece
of music and, enraptured, plays it for you on his
violin, then you may also become elated.
When the father feels love and holds his child
and kisses her, it is a spontaneous expression of

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his love. But even when the feeling of love is not

there, if he just holds her and kisses her, the same
emotion is triggered.

DEVOTEE:
So action triggers emotion?

GURUJI:
Yes, you can see it in all your actions, not only
with devotion. And therein lies the meaning of
ritual. As long as this purpose is served, the rit-
ual has meaning. All rituals are there because of
this. Originally, they were expressions of love,
actions which expressed some emotion, and by
doing them, or re-enacting them, we feel the same
emotion.

DEVOTEE:
But don’t rituals sometimes become just mechan-
ical?

GURUJI:
If they become mechanical there is no meaning in
rituals. Then you can throw away the ritual. But,
even if at some point they feel meaningless, by
going back and re-enacting them, they may trigger
something in you. If you have no other way, then
that is the best resort to trigger your emotions and
to nurture them.

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DEVOTEE:​
You often mention that the relationship between
guru and devotee is like that between mother and
child. If so, do we always remain a child? Does the
child ever grow up?

GURUJI:
We are all children, grown-up children! [Laugh-
ter] Even if you don’t agree, that is how I see you,
whether you like it or not. What makes the child
a child is how she relates to the mother. Even
though she feels a sense of helplessness and in-
security, it’s not expressed like that. She feels
entitled to have the mother’s care – it is her right
because of her love. The child doesn’t thank the
mother for giving milk, why should she? It is the
mother’s natural response. The child experiences
the help rather than the helplessness. As long as
the mother or father is there, she feels fully con-
nected and carefree.

DEVOTEE:
So it’s okay if I demand your help?

GURUJI:
If you feel like a child! [Guruji laughs]

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, sometimes when I sit with you in silence,

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I feel a kind of deep pain or sadness in my heart.

Why is this happening to me?

GURUJI:
It’s good. Some people experience pain because
they feel they are losing something, there is a
sense of loss. Then pain can come. It is another
kind of pain though, a sweet pain: it’s painful, but
we like it! That is why you come here again and
again to sit with me. [Guruji laughs] Why do I call
it sweet? Because again we want it, and when that
element of love is there, the pain doesn’t seem like
pain. This ‘pain’ now, for instance, of sitting here
late at night, in the cold, and you’re shivering, is
not painful if you have love.
When a child stands on the parent’s chest and
bounces up and down, it can be painful, yes, but
we say, “Oh, ow, ow! Ah, again! Come on, again!”
[Laughter] We love it! So it is the love which makes
the whole thing different. It is a pain with a differ-
ence, suffering with a difference. And it is longing
with a difference, waiting with a difference.

DEVOTEE:
Should we be doing things for God instead of for
ourselves? And if we do, will our love increase?

GURUJI:
The child does things for itself, not for the father.

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She plays for her own enjoyment, but she knows

her toys are gifts of the father, and the more she
plays and loves to play, the more she loves the
parent who has given her the toys. But though
she plays with the toys, the principle underlying
everything is love for the one who has given the
gifts. Your life, your whole life, is a gift. You may
say it comes from God or Nature, or whatever you
want to call it, but it is not the result of your own
effort, that much is certain. That is why life is a
gift.
Play with this toy of life happily, in ecstasy, but
be aware that it is a gift. That awareness will keep
you as a child. The child is aware of this, but, as
it grows, it starts thinking independently and
forgets that these gifts have been given by the
parents. They are the cause and its life is the ef-
fect, but the child forgets this – the fact that its
very life is a gift from the parents.

GURUJI:
Satsang is just a pretext for all of us to sit together,
an opportunity to express our love. Whatever way
you find to express love – just do it. That is sadhana,
that is bhakti, that is yoga, seva, whatever you call
it. Let’s find out how to relate to our object of love,
how to express our love and experience it. The
more you express, the more you experience, so
expression is needed.

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DEVOTEE:
Sometimes, when I try to concentrate, the mind
refuses to do so.

GURUJI:
I am not against concentration, but I don’t give
much importance to it. I give more importance
to the heart, to emotion, to love. Where there is
strong emotion, there the mind will be easily con-
centrated. Concentration is a by-product of love.
Once you really love Baba, then your thoughts
will always be concentrated on him. That is the
natural law and function of the mind, to be al-
ways concentrated on whatever or whoever we
love. What effort do we make there? For example,
if a boy loves a girl, he’ll always be thinking of
her, and in any other girl he sees, he sees that girl,
his beloved. He can’t forget her. He can’t focus
on anything else – his studies, his business, his
daily routine – his mind is so concentrated on
her. What yoga is he doing to concentrate like
that? [Guruji laughs] Nothing! Simply, he loves.
If you get that love, concentration happens auto-
matically, as a by-product of love.

DEVOTEE:
How do we increase our love?

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GURUJI:
By expressing it and experiencing it. Just look how
it happens in mundane love. A boy and a girl see
each other, and, at first sight, something is triggered
[Guruji laughs] and they like one another, but does
it end there? No, they make a date and go out for
dinner. First, it’s a half-hour, then the next date is
two hours, then three hours, and by constant com-
pany their love grows. Then, at some point, they
start missing each other and want more contact,
more expression! “Do you like white? Then I’ll put
on a white dress,” just to please the other, their ob-
ject of love. This is how love is expressed. And by
expressing it, we experience it more. It increases to
such an extent that we feel, “Oh, I can’t live with-
out you, you are my life, I want to lose myself and
be one with you,” all this stuff will come. [Guruji
laughs] Isn’t it like this in ordinary, mundane love?
The same principle is there in devotional love. So,
it is contact! Whenever there is constant contact,
the attachment grows and the love grows. The way
to keep the love that you have experienced, intact
– that small, flickering flame of love – is contact!
And that you can do in many different ways.

DEVOTEE:
Sometimes, I feel there is too much distance be-
tween me and my Beloved. Internally too, I want
to be closer.

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Rose Petals

GURUJI:
That is good. It is the nature of love to seek inti-
macy, until, finally, it wants to become one. That
is what you see in the case of Sri Ramakrishna
and the Mother. When he was worshipping the
Mother and offering flowers to her, after some
time he would throw the flowers on himself. He
felt the Mother so much within that he couldn’t
find any difference between them. Spontaneously,
his hand moved that way, but he wasn’t worship-
ping himself, he was worshipping the Mother. He
felt her so much inside that he felt completely one
with her.

DEVOTEE:
Love is triggered at the beginning when we meet
the Sadguru. What is the end?

GURUJI:
From our side it is the beginning, the beginning of
a very long, unending love story. The end is always
to become one with him, as I told you. What is the
culmination of any love story, even in ordinary
love? To experience oneness. It is the same here
with the Sadguru, but in a more profound way.

DEVOTEE:
So the love we experience at the beginning is dif-
ferent from the love at the end?

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 The Unending Love Story

GURUJI:
No, it’s not different, it’s not a practice or anything
like that. Initially, the love triggered feels vague
and abstract, then it gets more and more tangi-
ble until it’s so concrete it’s not different from us.
Whatever happens in between is the unfoldment
of that experience. I don’t call it growth or devel-
opment, but unfoldment.
When a bud unfolds, it blossoms into a flower.
It’s not that something is added in order to make
it become a flower, or that the flower is different
from the bud. It is the bud which unfolds into the
flower. That is why I call it unfoldment, a blossom-
ing. Something which is folded, hidden under-
neath some folds, gets slowly ‘un-folded’ – that is
unfoldment – we see what is already there. It only
becomes clearer, more concrete, ‘dis-covered’. Re-
moving the cover is ‘dis-covering’, isn’t it? And
seeing what is real, underneath the folds and the
covers, is realizing! And liberating the Real from
its covers, from its folds, is liberation. Whatever
you want to call it, the words all point to this.

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Shirdi, 1990
 chapter eight

Boring into Boredom

DEVOTEE:
Why do people try to escape reality by indulging
in bad habits?

GURUJI:
Because they want to escape their feelings of
worthlessness and the boredom of their lives.
People try to escape through entertainment, TV,
movies, novels, newspapers, chit-chatting, things
like that. And, if that is not sufficient, some try
alcohol and drugs. Then they may get addicted
because it takes them to another state where they
can escape from reality.
Rose Petals

DEVOTEE:
Why should they want to escape?

GURUJI:
Because their reality is so unbearable. First, you
should try to know what you are negating, what
you are escaping from. Usually, people don’t know.
Their life is simply unbearable for them, it’s so
boring, so they want something exciting, then
they get attracted to these things. They search and
search for that excitement. That is why people do
all kinds of weird things, adventures which are
actually dangerous to their lives. You can see how
the interest in extreme sports is growing every-
where – sky diving, wild white water rafting, bun-
gee jumping – trying to get more excitement, to
escape their boredom. They have everything,
nothing is lacking for them, but their comforts
have made them immune to the spice of life, so
there’s no end to their search for excitement. And
one of the reasons why people take drugs is be-
cause it affects their time sense. That is why so
many so-called sadhus, doing spiritual practices,
do this.

DEVOTEE:
Why is it so pleasurable to lose the sense of time?

GURUJI:
Time is the most difficult thing for us. We have
to live our life somehow, so we try to find one

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 Boring into Boredom

thousand ways to kill time, to pass the time. That

is why all the pastimes are there.

DEVOTEE:
When you were talking about our conditionings
you spoke about removing one pattern with an-
other pattern. When all the patterns are removed,
what remains?

GURUJI:
What will happen? Once the patterns are re-
moved, you will have to live, just like you do now!
[Guruji laughs] That is our problem. That is why
you don’t give up your patterns. Patterns are there
to entertain you, to hold your ego. If there is no
need for that, then the patterns will automatically
wither away. If the experience of boredom and the
craving for pastimes are conquered, your patterns
will be broken.

DEVOTEE:
Did you say we have to conquer the experience of
boredom?

GURUJI:
Yes, boredom. It’s a wonderful experience! If you
go deep into it you will get so many insights.
This question of boredom looks trivial to us, but

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just think about what the experience of boredom

is – why we feel bored and what is it actually
that is feeling bored? Think about it. Don’t give a
ready-made answer. It appears easy because we
have taken it so lightly, but it is not so easy. Why
do we need pastimes? Why aren’t we able to sit
quietly for some time without doing anything? Or
without thinking? After some time we’ll create our
own pastimes, producing our own movies inside
our minds. We are the producer, director, actor
and scriptwriter! Why? If you look deeply into it
you’ll realize a lot of things and have many good
insights. It is so vital, and it shows you how hol-
low you are. Then you’ll realize how beautifully
T. S. Elliot has written his poem, The Hollow Men.

DEVOTEE:
You said we keep our patterns for our own enter-
tainment?

GURUJI:
Not just entertainment, it is our need. They sup-
port our ego. If they are not there, it feels as if our
ego is crumbling, so it’s almost a natural reaction
that we don’t want to lose them or give them up.

DEVOTEE:
I have been looking into boredom, but I don’t un-
derstand what it means to conquer it.

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 Boring into Boredom

GURUJI:
Enquiring into boredom is just one way to break
your patterns. For some people it opens a gate and
they get an insight. Immediately they say, “Oh, my
God, for so long I’ve been doing this! This is such
an easy way to catch hold of my patterns.” Perhaps
this kind of approach doesn’t suit you. There are a
thousand ways you can approach the subject. You
have to choose the way that appeals to your heart,
what is suitable for you.

DEVOTEE:
When we fill our lives with pastimes, escaping
from our hollowness, are we deceiving ourselves?

GURUJI:
We don’t deliberately try to deceive ourselves. In
fact, it is our unwillingness or resistance to face
the truth of what is inside us – what we are or are
not – that makes us fill our boredom. Our efforts
to close our eyes to the truth of ourselves could
be defined as self-deception. It’s unpleasant for
us to come face to face with our hollowness, our
sense of inadequacy or worthlessness. So, to cover
it up we resort to many things, keeping ourselves
busy with some new interest, some new pastime
or entertainment. Of course, everyone does this
to some extent and in most cases it’s not harmful.
But when the effort to conceal or hide assumes

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abnormal dimensions, it can become almost like

a disease.
In one way, though, all people deceive them-
selves, so it is quite natural. And the opposite of
this is the state of the saint – the state of Self-
realization. The opposite of Self-realization is
self-deception, isn’t it? [Laughter] What we have
is self-deception. What great saints like Baba and
Ramana have is Self-realization.

GURUJI:
Everyone feels boredom. What exactly is happen-
ing when you feel bored? Try to look into that
hole, that bore, that emptiness in your boredom
and you can see your own self. But you don’t look
deeply enough into your bore.

DEVOTEE:
What is a bore?

GURUJI:
A hole. If you want water, you dig a bore in the
earth. People call it a ‘borewell’ in India.

DEVOTEE:
But, before I can investigate my boredom, I’ve al-
ready filled it up and it’s too late.

GURUJI:
Just be still and try to see. “What is this I’m expe-

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 Boring into Boredom

riencing now? What’s actually going on for me?

Why do I have such a need for this entertainment?
Is it really my need? In what way does it increase
my fulfilment? Why can’t I live without it?” Fears
come when you look into your boredom, it is very
difficult.
We are all bores, dry bores [laughter], that is
why we always crave some water to fill up our
emptiness. But the water doesn’t come because
we don’t bore deeply enough – try to go deeper,
one foot deeper: maybe you’ll find water, and it
will spring up and fill your bore. Then it will give
water to so many people and irrigate the land all
around.

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, in the last satsang we were talking about
getting a glimpse of the Sadguru’s state, and you
said that all of us must have had a glimpse, other-
wise we wouldn’t be here now. I was thinking
about that and wondering why it’s just a glimpse
and not a good long look! [Laughter]

GURUJI:
Actually, that is my question too! [Guruji laughs]
Why is it only a glimpse? Why can’t you have a
real view? It’s because you are happy with glimps-
es, and you enjoy playing ‘hide-and-seek’! Ask
yourself that question, “Why am I getting only

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glimpses and not the full view?” Then you will

come to know what prevents the glimpse from be-
coming a continual experience. Explore, “What is
that glimpse? And what turns me away from it?”
Actually, it’s not a turning away from the glimpse,
but, somehow, we want it to be only a glimpse, we
enjoy it more. If the glimpse became continuous,
we’d become bored because we always want some-
thing fresh, new, thrilling and exciting. And, in
order to explore this particular aspect of it, let me
give you a tip. Everybody experiences boredom:
explore it, examine it, dissect it, and it will reveal
so many thrilling mysteries about your own self
and mind. As long as you experience boredom,
you’ll always be wanting something new, like say-
ing, “It’s enough, one week at the Ganga, we have
seen it. Let’s go up to the snow-capped mountains,
Guruji, please?” Why do we always have the need
to divert our minds to somewhere else? If you
bore into that experience of boredom, the living
waters will spring up and you’ll get beautiful ex-
periences!

DEVOTEE:
I’ve been looking into boredom, but I still haven’t
found an answer to it.

GURUJI:
Keep on doing it. It is not so easy because it is

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 Boring into Boredom

embedded in you, at the basis of your being. If

you really face it, you’ll come to know what it is.
Boredom is such an abstract experience, even the
person who is experiencing it can’t describe it. If I
start describing it, giving you answers, you’ll sim-
ply know my answers and stop your own enquiry.
Just like giving the answer “I am atman” to the
enquiry, “Who am I?” Where is the real enquiry
[Guruji laughs] when you start with the answer?
And that’s what happens to many people who do
Self-enquiry, they think they know the answer
before they start the enquiry. They are trying to
impress it upon their mind, to hypnotize them-
selves with the answer. So, take the question of
boredom as the start of a real enquiry – within the
question itself is the answer. But if I immediately
give you the answer, it will kill your sense of
exploration. The more you’re troubled by these
questions, the happier I’ll be! [Guruji laughs]

DEVOTEE:
It feels like understanding boredom is important.

GURUJI:
It is important, because it relates to you. It may not
be important to know about Ramana, Dattatreya or
Sai Baba, but it is important to know about yourself.
Why? Because it concerns you – your experience,
your frustration, your seeking, your fulfilment or
lack of it. I give the most value to you.

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Rose Petals

GURUJI:
People get used to things, even to their object of
love. They lose the spirit of it all and get bored,
that’s why everyone likes a change. When you
have no other pulls, only then do you not get
bored.

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, do you ever get bored with anything? Do
you know that feeling?

GURUJI:
Usually, people ask, “Are you not bored, Guruji,
always staying within the same four walls, not
going outside, doing the same thing?” People
comment even about my food habits, eating the
same thing everyday. And I always wonder, “Why
am I not getting bored? Why am I not making
some changes, some experiments with different
varieties of food? [Laughter] Always that cold rice
for breakfast, that same kind of chutney, the same
chillies, that I have been eating for the last forty-
eight years!” But I’m not bored!

GURUJI:
Somewhere it is said when a man is realized, he
is reborn, renewed every minute. He’s not only
reborn once, he’s constantly reborn, because every
minute is so new to him. He’s enjoying life as

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 Boring into Boredom

though it were new and not from past memories.

This is what we have to see and experience. Then,
when you’re renewed every minute, there is no
such thing as boredom.

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Varanasi, 1995
 chapter nine

The Gap

GURUJI:
My advice is to try to reduce the gap between
what we think we are, what we say, and what we
do, otherwise it leads to hypocrisy and a lack of
awareness of our actions. And what counts, what
tells us who we really are, is not what we think or
say, but what we do. If you think about it, you’ll
come to know the gap or disparity between your
actions and what you say.
For example, somebody says in satsang, “I’d
love to see you in Shirdi, Guruji!” And, of all the
people, exactly that person is missing when I go
to Shirdi. [Guruji laughs] It always baffles me.
Exactly that person is missing! And you don’t
Rose Petals

know what causes that discrepancy – whether it’s

concepts, pulls or impulses – usually, you don’t
even realize there’s a discrepancy. Someone says,
“I love to have your darshan during a big func-
tion when thousands of people come, it’s so pow-
erful.” But exactly that person doesn’t show up.
[Guruji laughs] I’m not complaining or saying it
is wrong or that they lose something. But I want
you to see the gap. You think you want something
but some subtle, inner obstacle prevents you from
following through. It is so subtle but, at the same
time, it expresses itself so obviously on the out-
side. To an outsider – at least to me – the gap is
so obvious, but to the person it is invisible. They
may say, “What am I doing wrong? What is the
obstacle? I can’t see it.” So what is needed is dis-
crimination, discernment. Think deeply, enquire
honestly! It’s hard, it’s difficult, like walking on a
razor’s edge. Or, as Baba said, like crossing Nanhe
Ghat1 on a buffalo. Unfortunately, Baba has given
you this buffalo [Guruji points to himself, laugh-
ing], what can you do? And there are many dif-
ficult Nanhe Ghats to cross.
Daily, I see umpteen examples and they are so
obvious and conspicuous. I’m asking you to try
to reduce the gap between what you think you
are, what you say and what you do. Our actions
should validate what we say – they are the fruit

1
Nanhe Ghat is a notoriously steep, almost impassable mountain
pass in Maharashtra, India.

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 The Gap

that shows us what we are. As they say, you can

know a tree by its fruit!
Try to focus on uniting what you think, say, and
do – actualize what you are. Then, at least on that
level, there will be self-realization. [Guruji laughs]
When there is no gap, then we can grow.

devotee:
Guruji, I feel I’m a hopeless case because I seem
so far away from my object of fulfilment. I’m won-
dering if these feelings of hopelessness can be
transformed so they can become more helpful on
the path.

GURUJI:
Yes, this so-called hopelessness can be used to
make yourself more hopeful, which would then
be reflected in your actions, and it can happen in
different ways. First, what we say and what we
do should be one. Because the gap between what
we say and what we do can be the reason for our
hopelessness. Some people try to reduce the gap
between their words and deeds, others give up
entirely. If you really give up, then there’s no ques-
tion of a gap. [Guruji laughs] But for those who are
trying to reduce the gap, the crux of the matter is
to unify what you think, say, and do; there should
be no gap between them, this is what the scrip-
tures say. Whatever you do should be done with

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the three karanas [causes] – thought, word, and

deed. When these three become one, that is right
action. Otherwise, hypocrisy grows and gives rise
to so-called hopelessness and more hypocrisy.

GURUJI:
Try to reduce the gap between your words and
actions. If you can’t change your actions, at least
try to change what you say. For instance, instead
of saying things like, “Guruji, I can’t live without
you. If I’m away from you for one day, I will die!”
Instead say, “No, it’s not true, I can happily live
away from you and, actually, if it doesn’t interfere
with a free lift in a car, or with the rent I’ve already
paid for my hotel room, that is, if everything is
convenient and nothing else interferes, then being
with you is valuable.” Accept that! That will give
you a lot of clarity and self-actualization, other-
wise you’ll go on deceiving yourself. One thing
that we should shun at all cost is hypocrisy, not
being honest with ourselves. Don’t let yourself be
blinded by hypocrisy!

DEVOTEE:
I feel that my material needs distract me from my
spiritual aspirations. This dilemma often troubles
me.

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 The Gap

GURUJI:
I am not saying that earning money or having
property is bad – it’s okay, but accept it. Speak hon-
estly, “Yes, I thought I was a very spiritual person
and only wanted to do sadhana, but no, that is not
true. What I really want is a piece of land, a good,
comfortable house, and a sound bank balance
with the means to clear my debts.” That is what
you really want. So, have the clarity to ask Baba
for it and Baba will provide it for you. Then you’ll
be happy. Then there will be no gap, no clash, no
conflict, no guilt, no hypocrisy – good!

DEVOTEE:
What if someone needs worldly acceptance before
seeking enlightenment?

GURUJI:
Then he has to seek it, because his own abstract
sense of fulfilment is pointing to that. If you tell
him, “That is only a transient, temporary thing,
there is nothing to it. There is something beyond
it which you have to catch hold of,” then his
whole search becomes meaningless, because it is
superimposed and artificial, since he is seeking
something that he doesn’t really need. Instead,
the person himself has to realize the futility of
fulfilling these transient needs, then the search
will become a real need for him. Otherwise, he is

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just imitating another seeker.

Buddha had a genuine need and he searched,
but there is no point in simply imitating Buddha.
Are you really struggling so much to know the
mysteries of life and the world? If you are, then
you are a seeker and that is your need. But don’t
say universally that this is everyone’s need. How
do you sense your own fulfilment? You have to
start from there. And your needs may change,
because your idea of fulfilment may change over
time. If at every moment you are enquiring, “I want
to concretize my abstract sense of fulfilment, how
can I make it concrete? How to realize it?”, then
even a small search, a so-called worldly search,
becomes really meaningful. Otherwise, there will
be a conflict. Some of the emotions you have in-
culcated and nourished will pull you toward the
so-called spiritual, but most of your emotions will
pull you toward the worldly. And that’s where
you stand. When it’s not your real need, going
for realization is like putting the cart before the
horse.

DEVOTEE:
For some people it feels impossible to get the world-
ly things they seek.

GURUJI:
So they have to try. If they turn to spirituality be-
cause they can’t get the worldly things they seek,
do you think that is real spirituality? It’s even

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 The Gap

worse. Spirituality is definitely not a substitute for

failing in the world. If they fail in worldly endeav-
ours and turn to spirituality, as if it was easier or
less arduous, they will repeat the same thing they
did in the world. In worldly matters, the success
of the endeavour can be easily seen and we can’t
deceive ourselves, whereas in spiritual matters we
can just carry on in the name of a seeker, coining a
respectable image while deceiving ourselves. Our
helplessness, our inefficiency or failure, can be
very cleverly covered over by the guise of a seek-
er. It is easy to deceive oneself, since one’s true
spiritual success is only known internally to the
seeker, not to others.
So, you should try first to get success in the
world. If your sense of fulfilment, your desire, is
not fulfilled there, you will carry your sense of
frustration throughout your search, throughout
your so-called seeking. I wouldn’t call this real
seeking.

GURUJI:
Some people want to avoid work and have an easy
life, and for that they need some pretext. And,
of all things, spirituality seems to be the best!
[Laughter] So they are not obliged to feel, “I am
lazy!” or “I don’t have work!” In fact, they can
feel even superior to those who are working. “Oh,
these people are entangled in their attachments –

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to work, money, business, all these things. Look

at us! How happily we are meditating!” [Guruji
laughs] Of course, I’m speaking in general terms
here.

devotee:
But wouldn’t our progress be so much faster if
we renounced the world and dedicated our life
completely to the spiritual path?

GURUJI:
Concerning this, Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Mahar-
shi] was very clear. One day a young man came
to Bhagavan and asked him, “Bhagavan, I’m not
interested in this world – in my work, studies, em-
ployment, marriage, children – I don’t have a de-
sire for all these things. I want to take sannyas and
renounce the world. Please give me your blessings
and permission to renounce the world.” Bhagavan
said, “No, young man, it is better to go back to
your work and marry. I feel that is good for you.”
“No, Bhagavan, please excuse me, but I can’t do
it, I can’t marry! I can’t be in the world!” Again
Bhagavan said, “No, that is not good for you. Go
back to your work.” After some time the young
man got irritated and said, “You renounced the
world when you were very young and came here
and became a sannyasin. Now you are advising me
not to do the thing which you yourself have done.
Is there one dharma [law] for you and another for
me? What was good for you, should you not also

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 The Gap

advise the same for me?” Then Bhagavan replied,

“When I left home I didn’t ask anybody’s permis-
sion.”
It was so choiceless for Bhagavan: he had to
leave. Such a man, who left like that – and we
know how he was in Tiruvannamalai – he nev-
er booked a room or sought accommodation or
boarding, hmm? Did he ask for dates and timings
for meditation or think how fantastic it is to go on
giri pradakshina or parikrama of the temple, or this
or that? – nothing! When he came, even 24 hours
a day was not sufficient for him to get absorbed in
the Self. So, unless we get to that state where we
can’t extrovert our mind, there’s nothing wrong
with work, and, in fact, it helps.

GURUJI:
People may think they can play the role of an ad-
vanced sadhaka, thinking, “I want mukti, I want
nirvana, I want Self-realization.” If you think you
want to play this role, I advise you not to play it!
Know your need. What is it you really want? Peo-
ple say, “I want to know myself.” But is it really
troubling you that you don’t know yourself? Do
you really have a doubt as to who you are? I don’t
think most people have a doubt about themselves
– they know who they are. Somebody has told
them they are not what they think they are. “Ah!”,
they say, but it’s only an idle curiosity, it’s not a

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real need. If you really need to know, like Ramana

Maharshi did, you’ll know. But is it your problem?
Are you suffering day and night, losing sleep, not
taking food, asking, “Who am I? Who am I?” If
you really act according to your needs, then you
don’t play roles.
Don’t focus on what to do in order to get enlight-
enment – what japa you have to do, what sadhana,
what Self-enquiry, what meditation, contempla-
tion, yoga. These all depend upon your genuine
need and how honest you are. Otherwise, all these
means will be nothing without honesty. Ramana
Maharshi was honest. One minute of Self-enquiry,
a fraction of a second of Self-enquiry, he did hon-
estly and he became realized. That honesty, that
total integrity, is needed.

devotee:
Is there a reality or a truth that isn’t a concretiza-
tion of our abstract sense of fulfilment?

GURUJI:
Fulfilment is an experience. Who bothers about
some abstract truth or reality? [Guruji laughs]
When people really want to experience fulfilment,
then what they experience is the truth. Now you
are experiencing this unhappiness, this frustra-
tion, this lack of fulfilment, and it is true. But, if
you think you are already Brahman and already

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fulfilled, then it’s not true because that’s not your

experience. If it’s true that you want to get rid of
this unhappiness, if it’s true that you make the
effort and succeed in getting rid of it, then it’s
also true that what you will experience then is
true fulfilment.
So let your whole life be true, let it be based on
truth. Why do you think your own experience is
false and that the truth is written somewhere in
books and has to be caught hold of? At different
levels they are all truths. It is enough if you are
truthful to your own seeking, not to somebody
else’s or to something else. Be truthful to your
own effort of concretizing your abstract sense of
fulfilment – then what comes is the truth of your
own fulfilment!

DEVOTEE:
What does it mean to live a courageous life?

GURUJI:
In my view, the most courageous life to live is
to face ourselves. Trying to know who we are,
honestly, without any hypocrisy, without any self-
deceit – that is the most courageous life. Courage
is needed to climb Mt. Everest, but the real cour-
age is needed to see the truth. To me, the Buddha
was the really courageous man, not Edmund
Hillary or Tenzing Norgay. Of course, they were

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Rose Petals

also courageous in one way, but the Buddha’s

was the real courage. Most people live the life
of a coward, of a timid person, unable to face
the truth and get clarity. Everywhere timidity,
timidity, timidity! By being always fearful of los-
ing our life, we lose our ability to live. To me, that
is not life at all. When it is merely ‘survival’, where
is the life in it? Hmm?

DEVOTEE:
How can we overcome our timidity and become
more courageous?

GURUJI:
By facing the truth! The most difficult thing to do
is to face ourselves, to face our own hypocrisy. It’s
like this for most people. If at all you want to get
rid of anything, get rid of hypocrisy.

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, the difficulty in facing ourselves is that we
are so good at deceiving ourselves, at putting our
masks in the way. Isn’t the true direction the most
difficult to face?

GURUJI:
I am not talking about directions or anything
like that, only simple questions. Knowing your
own hypocrisy is not very complicated. The first

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 The Gap

thing is, to be aware of what we do, what we say,

and what we think we want. See the gap between
these three and you will come to know.

113
Godavari, 2000
 chapter ten

Aspects of Change

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, is it useful to know if we are making
progress and what are the indications?

GURUJI:
As I’ve said before, real progress is in how many
times you don’t say ‘I’ – “I want this! I love that!
I don’t like this!” – this whole ‘I’ business – and
how harmonized you are inside and outside. How
contented you feel, how happy you are, whether
you have an indescribable sense of security –
these are symptoms of progress.
The real progress is how your personality has
been transformed and how you look at yourself
Rose Petals

and the world; how you look at and interact with

people, and how they look at you – this is what
matters. Not these dazzling experiences which
Baba referred to as chamatkar. Chamak means ‘daz-
zling’. Usually people translate it as ‘a miracle’,
but it also means ‘dazzling’, that which blinds or
dazzles you. Experiences such as having a con-
vulsion, seeing a big flash of light or hearing a
boom in the ears, or swooning, or being driven
almost crazy or mad, are considered to be ‘spiri-
tual experiences’. I say, what is the value of just
seeing a big light? We have to see if such experi-
ences are succeeded by a great transformation in
the heart or whether they bring about a change
in our personality, in our outlook, or in our fears
and temptations, our likes and dislikes. Other-
wise these psychic phenomena are just mental
aberrations which go by the name of ‘spiritual
experiences’ but are of no use. Here is not the
place for them. If we get this kind of experience
it has to be followed by an indescribable trans-
formation.
Here, with Baba, you’ll find that complex pat-
terns which have been bothering you for years
and which you could not give up, simply vanish
overnight, as if a burden has been lifted from
your mind. A dream or experience may come
in the night and in the morning you feel like a
changed person. What have you done? Noth-
ing! Such experiences can happen overnight, or
with others it is gradual like the greying of the

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hair. But, just like aging itself, it’s a process that’s

bound to happen.

DEVOTEE:
People can change but then they seem to slip back
into their old ways.

GURUJI:
It seems so, but it’s not true. A person doesn’t really
slip back. In fact, not only in so-called spiritual life,
but nowhere in life is there a question of slipping
back.

DEVOTEE:
How is it then that some people seem to get worse?

GURUJI:
They can be better or worse but they’re not ex-
actly the same; they can’t go back. Maybe going
forward could also be worse! [Laughter] You can’t
be the same person you were a minute ago, so
why talk about such long periods? It’s not only
like this in the human condition, it’s everywhere.
It’s a law of nature. There is no question of going
back. Whether it is going forward, whether it is
progress, whether it is unfoldment, I won’t try to
define it, but there will be change. To make that
change for the best is what we want. Change is in-
evitable, everybody changes, not only those who

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resort to a Sadguru. Everyone will change, but the

way one changes – that is the question.

DEVOTEE:
What do you mean by “the way one changes”?

GURUJI:
The change should be toward fulfilment. We ex-
perience the same kind of frustration in different
ways, varieties and intensities. What I am saying
is, let the change be towards your fulfilment, to-
wards the removal of your frustration. That’s
what I call change.

DEVOTEE:
Does the core personality also change?

GURUJI:
Everything changes, not only the core!

DEVOTEE:
Do our emotions also change or do they always
remain the same?

GURUJI:
It’s not that if we change, our emotions change
– actually the change in the emotions is what I
call change. When I speak about transformation, I
mean the change in your emotions.

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 Aspects of Change

DEVOTEE:
You said that the most difficult pattern to break
is the basic pattern of how we understand things.
What is this basic pattern?

GURUJI:
Everybody has a bundle of basic emotions and
a tendency to express them in a particular way.
It’s a kind of habit energy. And, to some extent, it
is easier to change the pattern in which they are
expressed than the basic emotions themselves.

DEVOTEE:
Can we do anything as long as everything is
coloured by our patterns and we are not aware of
them?

GURUJI:
It’s not possible for you to change them by your-
self. It’s just like trying to cut off the branch you
are sitting on – you can’t do it. So, you need some
other support – and here enters the role of the
Sadguru. Based on his support you can leave the
ground on which you usually stand. Then you
will find that without your knowledge you have
changed. How he changes us, we do not know; it
is not our business. But we can say we are changed!
This is the real transformation.

DEVOTEE:
Can our basic core emotions be changed?

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Rose Petals

guruji:
The basic emotions have to be changed. It‘s of no
use simply to change the patterns. But changing
the patterns will help to mitigate some of the
disharmony and tendencies that strengthen neg-
ative emotions. If there is anything you can do,
you can try to do it up to this point.

DEVOTEE:
When a basic emotion is changed, what has it
changed into?

GURUJI:
It is transformed into another emotion that helps
you get fulfilment. Not that it is totally removed,
rather it is transformed. The one who is experienc-
ing the transformation may not see the difference,
but an outsider can see the change. They say, “I see
there’s a big change in you, you’re not the same
person I knew two years ago.” But the person
who has experienced the transformation does not
know that. He feels the same as before. But there
is a transformation.

DEVOTEE:
Can certain activities like being in the Sadguru’s
presence, or serving him, hasten this change?

GURUJI:
For most people, when they meet their Sadguru the
emotion that arises is love – love for the Sadguru

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and for their fulfilment. The love for the Sadguru

and for fulfilment is the same but people express
it in different ways. But, because of patterns ac-
crued over time, they tend to create obstacles to
realizing the essence of the relationship. Some of
these patterns and expressions create disharmony
within and in the whole atmosphere around them,
making it impossible for them to be happy. Even
though they may have everything – and there
has been no harm or loss – still their patterns are
there. But they can be changed with the help of
the Sadguru.
Just an hour ago I was telling Madam [Guruji’s
wife] the same thing when she was talking about
some youngsters in our group who came the other
day. They had just moved into a beautiful house
and everybody liked it. But when I asked them,
“How is the house?” their patterns are such they
immediately said, “We are getting bored. We have
no friends there.” Just one week ago they moved
into that house, so how can they find friends so
soon? They don’t see all the positive points in
the new house. They have this pattern of always
complaining, of seeing only what is negative.
Whatever they say, even a small thing, they ex-
press it as a complaint, that is the pattern. This
can be changed. Again and again you have to tell
them, “This is not the way to say it. Express it in a
different way, a positive way.” Otherwise people
take on this strong habit of always complaining
and seeing things negatively.

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DEVOTEE:
Is this a general pattern of the human mind?

GURUJI:
No, it’s not general, it doesn’t hold for all people,
and the pattern has different degrees of intensity.
The underlying emotion is the same for everyone,
they want to be with me, they want to see me, but
some simply ignore what they have and always
think about what is missing. Some of you here
also have the same pattern and over time I have
been trying to rid you of it. You think that I’m
being very particular about whether a given ex-
pression is respectful or disrespectful, but it’s not
that. It’s not the form but the tendency to express
things in a certain way that reflects a complaining
attitude toward things. Then you can’t enjoy any-
thing and you lose the simple bliss of life, always
thinking about what you don’t have and not real-
izing what you do have. By simply shifting your
focus to what you do have, you could experience
a major part of your fulfilment already, and the
rest of it anyhow Baba will give. You can say what
you don’t have, no problem, but don’t complain.
Instead, ask for what you need!

DEVOTEE:
How is it that we don’t notice the transformation
in ourselves if it is so fundamental to us?

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 Aspects of Change

GURUJI:
Because it is not different from you. What you call
‘you’ is the effect of all these emotions. And only
by outward symptoms and in retrospect can you
say, “Oh, maybe before I would have reacted like
that but now I am reacting like this.” Only by your
reactions can you see the change, but by itself
you can’t see it because you can’t see yourself.
It’s not due to insight but to hindsight that you
can see where you have changed, because the
change is in you. And if at all you’re so interested
in this psychoanalysis business and want to
analyse yourself, then try to focus on how you
were before and how you are now, and see what
the change is. So, first, whatever comes, you’ll
experience how you’ve changed and you’ll enjoy
it. And the one who has given you this much,
won’t he give you the rest also [total fulfilment]?
By not experiencing what you have already and
not being open to what you could receive, you are
creating more obstacles to your fulfilment now.

DEVOTEE:
It seems there’s always a choice between the in-
ward journey and the outward journey. Is there a
way to develop both?

GURUJI:
Yes, good, that is Baba’s way. He doesn’t tell you to

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go only inward or only outward. Both should be

there. That is what happens around me, because
I don’t stress one at the cost of the other. Both are
equally important.

DEVOTEE:
Does the balance between the inner and outer life
happen naturally or is it something we have to
take care of?

GURUJI:
You have to take care of it also.

DEVOTEE:
How do we know if we’ve got the balance?

GURUJI:
How do you know the balance anywhere? By
checking it, by feeling it, by actually balancing.
[Guruji laughs] Then you’ll know the balance.
Always be cautious and aware of what you’re
doing. Are you really in balance, or deviating to
this side or that? Be careful or you’ll fall down!

DEVOTEE:
But by what criteria do we judge that?

GURUJI:
By your experience. If you are balanced that is
the criterion. When you learn to cycle what is

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 Aspects of Change

the criterion that says you are really cycling? You

don’t fall off! [Laughter] Then you have learned to
balance. You fall once and you get up, again you
try, and again you fall – maybe even get injured
– but finally you learn to cycle. Once you learn it,
even without pedalling or without hands, you can
balance the bike. Without holding the handlebars
you can even go into a crowded street and steer
the cycle just by focussing on your centre of grav-
ity – I used to do it! [Laughter] We used to say,
“Let’s not touch the handlebars all the way from
home to college!” We would go from our house in
Kota until we entered the college in Vidyanagar
without touching the handlebars, then stop and
put the cycle on its stand. So, once you master
the art of balance, you can do all kinds of feats!
[Laughter]

DEVOTEE:
But when we get caught in something we don’t
necessarily notice that we’ve fallen off.

GURUJI:
Definitely, you’ll know! Even if you don’t no-
tice, your injuries will tell you that you’ve fallen.
[Laughter] The pain, the suffering, the dissatisfac-
tion, the sense of disappointment, the sense of
frustration – all these things are ‘injuries’ which
tell you that you haven’t learned the art of balance.

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Rose Petals

DEVOTEE:
Is there any relationship between the transforma-
tion of one’s personality and being fulfilled?

GURUJI:
There should be. The reason why we are not get-
ting fulfilment is because our personality is like
it is, and, unless it changes, we won’t be fulfilled.
When one is having a spiritual experience it’s not
only the experience that matters but the experien-
cer also has to change. Usually people focus more
on the experience, instead of the experiencer. They
don’t think of the experiencer. But, actually, what
changes is the state of the one who experiences –
that is the transformation. The moment one’s state
is transformed then the experience comes. The ex-
perience is not like some object which appears.
It is the transformation in us – in our personal-
ity, in our individuality, in our ego, whatever
jargon you want to use – that matters. That’s why
I don’t stress the experience, I put the stress on
you! Actually, I care more about you. I’m not one
who talks much about the ultimate experience –
the experience of ‘That’, Brahman, Buddhahood,
nirvana – no. What matters to me is you.

GURUJI:
If there is some progress, then focus on that,
whatever it is. If it is zero then that is a different

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 Aspects of Change

matter. But as far as I know nobody here is at zero,

nobody.

DEVOTEE:
Where are we at?

GURUJI:
One furlong, one kilometre, two kilometres, ten
kilometres, twenty kilometres [laughter] – you
are all trekking, enjoy it! Enjoy nature. While trek-
king you don’t measure how far you’ve gone, how
many steps you’ve taken. “Oh, my God, I still have
to walk one kilometre!” Then it’s not trekking. You
said you like nature, so enjoy the trekking! Trek
on Saipatham, the path of Sai, not measuring the
distance, not counting the steps. There is a long,
long way to travel, I’m not denying that, but we
have travelled even this far, let us enjoy it now!
Then every step we take, from beginning to end,
is beautiful.

127
Shirdi, 1999
 chapter eleven

Helplessness & Seeking Help

DEVOTEE:
What is the remedy for the helplessness we some-
times feel?

GURUJI:
To seek help! [Guruji laughs]

DEVOTEE:
What do you mean by seeking help?

GURUJI:
When you really experience your helplessness,
then you’ll want to come out of that condition,
that state of helplessness. The desire to come out
Rose Petals

of helplessness is seeking help. Even if you don’t

know it, you have already been seeking help.
Inevitably you seek, and when help is given
you have the experience that you’ve succeeded
in overcoming your helplessness. It will remove
your sense of frustration when you gain that help.

DEVOTEE:
Does the state of helplessness bring us closer to
Baba?

GURUJI:
Helplessness creates a greater need for Baba,
and once we need something, getting it is more
fulfilling.

DEVOTEE:
Does it mean we stop feeling helpless?

GURUJI:
Yes, we stop feeling helpless. Then we start feeling
‘help-full’, full of Baba, because Baba is the help.

DEVOTEE:
What is the best way to seek help?

GURUJI:
To have the strong desire, the need, for help. For

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 Helplessness & Seeking Help

instance, if you are drowning and you don’t know

how to swim, what do you do? You simply grab
onto whatever comes to you. There’s no dilemma.
You don’t think, “Will this stick take me to shore,
is it strong enough?” No, you simply grab it!
Read the last song of the morning arati to Baba
and you will know how to seek help. “Mee bu-
dato bhavbhaya dohee udharaa Sri Sadguru!” [Save
me quickly, O Sadguru, I’m afraid of drowning
in the ocean of samsara!1] Fortunately, we have
such  good help in Baba, but we think we don’t
need it that much, so we always keep him in re-
serve. “Okay Baba, I know you can help me, it’s
good. Stay for some time, then when I need your
help, I’ll ask for it. And thanks for your offer!”
[Guruji laughs]
You have needed many things in your life and
you have asked for help. Nobody taught you how
to seek that help. As a baby you sought help from
your mother. Who taught you how to seek her
help? You have travelled such long distances from
your countries to come here and you have sought
help on so many different levels. Who taught you
those things? First, you should have the need,
then the need itself shows you how to seek. It will
teach you the method, the technique. Don’t seek
techniques – so-called ‘unique’, ‘best’ or ‘advan-
ced’ techniques – there’s nothing in techniques.

1
Shirdi Aratis, Kakad Arati, 13 (Song to Sadguru), verse 3.
131
Rose Petals

Once we have the need we will invent our own

technique. They say, “Necessity is the mother
of invention.” And the technique we invent
for ourself, for our own good, that is the best
technique.
I’m not advising you always to seek help. First,
try to get it on your own, that’s the best. If you
can’t do it, then there’s no other choice – you have
to seek help. So there’s no question of whether
a guru’s help is needed or not. No, it’s not like
that. If you really need help, you seek and resort
to a Sadguru, it’s not your choice – you have no
other choice. Until you experience the state where
‘there is no other choice for me’, you still harbour
some hope. “Yes, I still have some resources, why
don’t I try them?” Then, do it! First, exhaust your
resources. If you succeed, good! Then it’s your
own earning. If you can’t do it, what else can you
do but seek help?

DEVOTEE:
I’m always fearful about choosing my own path
and making mistakes by not choosing the right
thing. What can I do about this fear?

GURUJI:
You only choose what you want, your goal, your
object. And if you’re fearful about how to get it
and don’t know the way, then a Sadguru like
Baba comes into the picture. If you know how to

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do it on your own, good! Go ahead and try to

realize your goal. But if you have fear and feel
your resources aren’t sufficient and don’t know
whether what you’re doing is right or not, then,
when you are so helpless, seek help from Baba.
What help? Help to achieve what you want, what
you need, your personal goal.

DEVOTEE:
What is the emotion in us that makes choice so
important?

GURUJI:
It’s your basic emotion of wanting to get rid of
your state of helplessness and of always being
subject to making inevitable choices. It’s a kind of
longing for freedom, freedom from the inability
to choose.

DEVOTEE:
Then the desire to be free from helplessness is ac-
tually quite a powerful emotion.

GURUJI:
Yes, it is a very powerful emotion. It’s at the
basis of our whole being. Our very existence is
choiceless, beyond our control. Come, ask anyone
this question, “Why are you living?” The only
true answer they can give is, “Because we haven’t

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died yet!” What a sad state of affairs that our own

existence is so helpless that we are helplessly
living! It is beyond our choice. From that state of
helplessness everything else springs – our trying
to overcome it and to free ourselves from that sad
condition.
The book of life has been given to us by
nature, and we simply turn its pages without
understanding a word. We don’t even know by
whom or why it was written, or how many pages
it contains.

DEVOTEE:
You have said before that we need to find a more
powerful emotion that draws all our other pulls
together, but is that also choiceless, just something
that comes on a page?

GURUJI:
Yes, it is choiceless but it frees you from your state
of choicelessness. When you are turning the pages
of the book without understanding a word, what
actually helps you? You need someone who will
teach you the meaning of what is written – the
language, the alphabet, the grammar and syntax
of it. Then you’ll understand your book of life and
appreciate it.

DEVOTEE:
Does this take time or can it happen suddenly?

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 Helplessness & Seeking Help

GURUJI:
It usually takes time. How much time? That de-
pends upon your capacity to learn.

DEVOTEE:
I don’t really look for help because I don’t believe
I’m helpless. What can I do about this?

GURUJI:
You have to experience your helplessness fully.
People experience it in different ways and get
help in different ways. Buddha tried and tried, but
then he came to a stage where he just experienced
his helplessness and stopped all endeavours, all
efforts, and sat down beneath the Bodhi tree. He
just gave up. He gave up everything, everything
he had been doing, and then that state – fulfilment,
nirvana, ‘the answer’ or whatever you want to call
it – instantly came to him. Even the Buddha had to
experience helplessness, a giving up. But our case
is different. Our endeavour, our effort, our need is
not so strong, and so our need for help is also not
so strong. We even need someone to show us how
helpless we are! That is our state. [Laughter] Or, if
we are like the Buddha and give up, good. After
his awakening he said about the path, “Buddham
saranam gacchami” [I take refuge in the Buddha]. To
which Buddha he surrendered we do not know.

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It’s not historically recorded whether he surren-

dered to his own help, to his own helplessness, or
to whatever else it was. It need not be in this form,
it can happen in many different ways. But what the
Buddha meant was, to express our helplessness
and to seek help at the feet of a Buddha, a Sad-
guru. One who seeks refuge is experiencing that
helplessness.
This is what we also see in Baba’s life – how he
experienced his helplessness – but he expressed
it in a different way. He used to say, “I’m a slave
of Allah.” See how totally dependent he was on
Allah. And Ramana Maharshi expressed it yet in
another way. He experienced his helplessness as
an experience of death, the most helpless state.
There you want to hold on to yourself, your own
life, but you are helpless in keeping it. It slips
away – that is death. He expressed his helpless-
ness as death. They all experienced that state of
helplessness in different ways and sought help in
different ways. What helped them was also differ-
ent. It’s very personal. So, again I tell you, expe-
rience your helplessness, seek help, get the help
and experience the help all in your own way.

DEVOTEE:
Did you say we can actually enjoy our helplessness
if there is somebody there to help?

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 Helplessness & Seeking Help

GURUJI:
Yes, because this so-called helplessness is, in fact,
not really helplessness. It is experienced in a dif-
ferent way. Being an adult, it is very difficult for
you to understand that. Just think about a small
child, a month-old baby. A baby is really helpless:
she can’t walk, she can’t protect herself or take
her own food, she can’t do anything on her own.
Her whole survival is dependent on the mother or
her caretaker. But see how happily she plays and
enjoys!
Does the mother say, “You should be ashamed
of your helplessness, child! You can’t make your
own food and for everything you’re dependent on
somebody! How come you’re so happy?!” [Guruji
laughs] As long as she has the warmth and love
of the mother, the child’s so-called helplessness
ceases to be helplessness. We are grown-ups, but
in the case of helplessness we are all simply chil-
dren. We need a mother, a caretaker, who can give
us that feeling of care, protection and security.
Once we have it, we cease to be sad about our own
helplessness because in fact we feel we are being
helped. Not that you enjoy being helpless, it is just
experienced in a different way. What you enjoy is
the help. And that is exactly the role of Baba, why
a Sadguru is needed. Without that, one can tread
the path, but to most of us, it is like trying to cut
off the branch we are sitting on.

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DEVOTEE:
If I still feel helplessness after I’ve prayed and
asked for Baba’s help, what am I to do? Do I just
pray and wait?

GURUJI:
I have told you many times that the very experi-
ence of helplessness is asking for help. You don’t
need to formalize or verbalize it. There is nothing
you can do. If there is anything you can do, you
are not helpless. “I am helpless, what am I to do?”–
this is a meaningless question! It’s because you
can’t do anything that you are helpless.

DEVOTEE:
Then what can I do?

GURUJI:
[Guruji laughs] You can’t ‘do’ anything – you can
only experience the helplessness, realize how help-
less you are. Many people are helpless but they
don’t accept it, that’s the problem. What I’m asking
you to do is, try to accept, to realize and actualize
your helplessness, that is enough. Baba will take
care of what needs to be done, what you’ll do and
how the help will be given. And there’s no way
that you can help Baba to help you! [Laughter]

DEVOTEE:
But isn’t it necessary to actually ask for help?

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 Helplessness & Seeking Help

GURUJI:
If it gives you satisfaction, yes. If it’s part of your
process of accepting and realizing your helpless-
ness, then good, there’s nothing wrong in verbal-
izing it. It becomes a kind of ritual, one expression
of your helplessness, that’s all.

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, are you helping me? And, if so, why don’t
I feel it more?

GURUJI:
First you ask, “Are you helping me?” Yes, I am
helping, but you think I am not. Then, if you think
I’m not helping, I say, have you really asked for
my help? If you have, what help have you actually
asked for? What sort of help do you want? And, if
at all I give you that help, are you ready to take it?
Ask me for that help which you can receive. It’s so
clear. I don’t think there’s any need for philosophy
here.
The problem is, people are afraid to ask for help.
First, we should realize that we need help. I’m
taking it one step further: do you really need help?
I would advise you first to try to get it without
anybody’s help. Strive to get it yourself. If, after
trying, you say, “I’m sorry, Guruji, I can’t help
myself. You have to help me,” then I am ready to

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help – but then you should take it! The next thing
is, our ego pops up and says, “Ah, I don’t want to
take your help, I can help myself. Anyway, why
do I need help? Maybe I can do it myself if he just
gives a little push!” [Guruji laughs] And even if
a push is given, we think, “Maybe it’s not really
a push. I doubt very much whether he’s actual-
ly pushing me, maybe I’m only imagining it!”
[Laughter]
So, first what is needed is clarity, absolute
clarity that you can’t help yourself. That is the
qualification for seeking help. Then, if the help
is given – and it will be given, one hundred per-
cent sure – you should take it. In all these matters,
why people fail, why they have fear and confusion,
is because they lack clarity.

GURUJI:
If you truly realize you can’t help yourself, then
you seek help without any reservation. You don’t
ask, “Could you give, could you advise, could
you ...?” That’s no way to ask! Instead, you need
to demand, “Give me! I’m begging you, I’m stand-
ing before you like a beggar, a beggar among beg-
gars!” With that sincerity, with such openness and
need, you should ask.

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 Helplessness & Seeking Help

GURUJI:
Seeking help should not be accompanied by a
sense of misery or frustration. It is in the state of
utter helplessness that you will experience the
help. Helplessness itself paves the way to feel the
help and then you live with the sense of help, not
helplessness. You experience being full of help,
a happiness. Then it is positive, it is blissful, it is
fulfilling. You are always in need of help and Baba
is always there to give it.

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Shirdi, 1996
 chapter twelve

On Death & the Love of Life

GURUJI:
Many, many problems will be solved if you realize
just one thing and accept it as the bare truth. And
that one thing is: how transient, how temporary,
how short life is! Everybody knows this, but no-
body realizes it – they do everything as if it’s
going to be permanent. Is there any truth, even an
iota of truth, in the sense of permanence? If one
realizes that, at least most of our problems change,
in fact, our whole attitude towards life changes.
But we live as if we were going to be permanent,
as if others were going to be permanent, and as if
things were going to be permanent. But for how
Rose Petals

long? We think we have a hundred years or more,

or even a thousand. And in what way are those
things which we normally fret and fume over
contributing to our happiness?
There is a poem in the Telugu translation of
the Srimad Bhagavatam, “Kaare raajulu raajyamulu
galugave, vaareri siri muutagattukoni poovanjaalare?”
which means, “There are so many kings who
ruled big empires – where are they all now? And
when they left, did they take their empires with
them?” In spite of knowing this and studying his-
tory, you still think you are going to be perma-
nent! Maybe that is why I like history – it’s my
favourite subject. It shows me the impermanence,
the transient nature of everything. To me, all of
history is a spiritual treatise just like a Veda, an
Upanishad, or a Purana. What else will teach us
the impermanence of life better than history? Just
think about it!
In this short span of life, we create so many
problems, problems in relationships, fighting with
one another. We try to amass as much wealth and
as much property as we can – buying lands, build-
ing houses – then looking at them as if they were
our creations, becoming attached to them. Is this
really needed? Is it really wise? To me, more than
anything else, the remembrance, the awareness
of the bare truth of impermanence is enough: no
scriptures are needed, no guru is needed to tell
you this truth – it is so obvious! It is a truth which
yawns in our faces. Just be aware of that, and see

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how your attitude towards the world – to people,

to things, to your own personality – changes. How
much we are wasting our time! Can you get it
back? Don’t waste your time, especially in unhap-
py pursuits. I’m not saying, “Don’t waste your time
and try to completely dedicate yourself to Baba.”
At least try to be happy, whatever your concept
of happiness is. Just like when you have to leave
India to go back to the West in two or three days,
how do you feel? “Oh, let’s have satsang, let’s have
darshan, let’s enjoy as much as possible!” You feel
like this because you know you are leaving. But
we’re forgetting that our whole life is a trip like
this and our leaving is scheduled already: What
about that?

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, what is the root of fear?

GURUJI:
Fear comes because you’re afraid to lose some-
thing you love. Fear springs from love. The basic
fear is the fear of death. Even that fear comes be-
cause you love your life so much you don’t want to
part with it. For us, death means the cessation of
life, our existence, what we are; we cease to exist.
We don’t want that to happen because we love life
so much. Whether it is happy or unhappy we want
it to go on. This love of life, this urge for survival,

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is so biological that it is basic in every human be-

ing. All our fears, even those in daily life, are an
outcome of love – the thought that we might lose
something we love very much.

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, lately a number of us have had to face the
experience of family or dear friends dying, and
the reality of death. I would like to ask, what do
you feel is the most helpful way to approach and
think about death?

GURUJI:
What I would say is, instead of thinking and
trying to know how to approach death, first take
care of your approach to life.

DEVOTEE:
But suppose life is not very attractive?

GURUJI:
Is death so attractive? [Guruji laughs] It’s not
about being attractive or not. There are two in-
evitabilities that everyone experiences: one we
are experiencing now, the other we are going
to experience. Life is inevitable, isn’t it? [Guruji
laughs] Death is also inevitable. Now life is at
hand, so try to think of life.

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 On Death & the Love of Life

DEVOTEE:
If a loved one is suffering a great deal, what can
we do to help and support them in their process?

GURUJI:
It depends upon your relationship to the loved
one. There’s no specific theory about how to sup-
port them, each case is personal. How you want to
support them and what kind of support they need
differs from person to person. Just saying things
like, “Don’t be worried!” is only talk and not ac-
tually being supportive. What I think is, death is
inevitable. People say one’s whole life is based on
the fear of death, but I don’t see it like that. What I
see is that actually, basic to human nature and our
being, is the love of life. We love our life so much
that the thought of it ending is fearful to us. So,
are we taking care of what we love, or thinking
of what we fear? If we take care of our life fully
and live a fulfilled life, we need not worry about
death, and anyhow it is inevitable. Life is also
inevitable, we can’t avoid it either. Why I say in-
evitable is, because for many people if they were
asked, “Why are you living?” the most honest
answer they could give is, “Because I haven’t
died yet!” [Guruji laughs] Let us not experience
that sad situation. Let’s find some meaning in our
life, some purpose, some fulfilment. Not simply
accepting its inevitability.
Let us take care of ‘the bird in the hand’, the life
you experience now, instead of worrying about

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‘the bird in the bush’, something that will happen

in the future. Talking about death which we don’t
know from experience is just beating about the
bush. Life is here now, you are experiencing it.
Think of how to make it the best, how to get the
most out of it. And if at all you want to give any
support to those who are troubled with death, say
these things to them. Then that is the way, the very
best way to help them stop thinking about death.

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, death doesn’t only bring up sadness but
also questions about the very nature of life and
the uncertainty of our own predicament.

GURUJI:
This is what I’m saying – it should bring up that
question! The next question is: in the face of that
uncertainty, what are we doing? Anyone’s death,
especially of a loved one, should produce that
enquiry.

DEVOTEE:
Do you mean about how we spend our time and
what we’re doing with our lives?

GURUJI:
Yes. In the ordinary emotional sense it’s natural to
grieve over the loss of a loved one. But who will

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grieve over our death? Should we not care to leave

behind at least one person who will grieve over
our death? What are we doing for that?

DEVOTEE:
What can I give to someone who is close to death?

GURUJI:
As far as I know, what we can give is our prayers to
Baba. Or, if you are thinking of material things, of
course I am not good at advising about that. And
especially for one who is close to death, nothing
material may be helpful to him. What he needs is
to face death happily. What will help him do that?
Baba’s grace! So, pray to Baba. Pray for him to die
happily, pray for those who want to live, to help
them live happily, and pray for yourself that you
may live happily also. So pray, pray, pray, always
pray! Baba, Baba, Baba! That is the solution.

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, being now seventy-six, I think a lot about
my last hour and my last breath, and I’ve read that
one should hold on to the guru’s feet until that
last breath and then let go. But that seems a little
frightening, to let go at the very end. Could you
please talk about that?

149
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GURUJI:
Why is it frightening?

DEVOTEE:
It is frightening to let go.

GURUJI:
That is what even Ramana Maharshi says about
the fear of death. When he had his experience of
realization, what he experienced was the fear of
death. Because there we lose ourselves, our own
identity, which we have been nourishing for so
long, holding onto it with a passion. That will go.
For us, that is death. But, actually, we don’t know
what death is because we haven’t died so far, so
how can we be afraid of it? Maybe death is more
beautiful than life, who knows? But we’re afraid
of death because our concept of death means los-
ing ourselves. That is exactly what spirituality is
about too. Spirituality also says when you realize
yourself, you lose yourself, the ego will be erased,
dissolved, and there will be no you left, there will
be only That. This is a kind of definition of death
for us. That is what Ramana Maharshi beautifully
wrote in Arunachala Padikam, “I call out to all those
people who are ready to commit suicide: Come!
Here is a beautiful way to commit suicide. Come
to Arunachala!” So holding on to our guru’s feet
means, in other words, we are ‘courting death’.
But when our biological death happens, it will
be more beautiful, more peaceful, more assuring

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 On Death & the Love of Life

if we are at the guru’s feet. That makes death not

death at all.

DEVOTEE:
Could it be that we fear death because we’ve died
before?

GURUJI:
Do you remember it? You don’t remember it. The
reason why you don’t want to die is because you
want to live.

DEVOTEE:
If I don’t remember it, why is the thought of death
usually associated with pain and suffering? Isn’t
it instinctive?

GURUJI:
Even though life also has suffering and pain,
you want to live, and you want to mitigate your
suffering and live a happy life. It is only the
quality of life which you don’t like, not life itself.
You want to live, but with a difference: you want
to live happily. So it is the love of life that makes
you want to live. Love is basic, not fear.

DEVOTEE:
Could it be, Guruji, that for some jnanis there is

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no longer a difference between life and death? I’m

thinking of Nisargadatta Maharaj. In his last
talks before he passed away in 1981 he was saying
that, to him, there was no longer any difference
between being in the body or not, that life per se
held no attraction for him because he knew a state
beyond both life and death. And some people were
shocked at this. In this respect could one say that
knowledge is more fundamental than love?

GURUJI:
Here there is no question of love or knowledge or
truth. He loved his life so much that he got true
life. We love life but we don’t get the real life. He
loved life truly and he got true life. So his love was
fulfilled. And once his love was fulfilled he had no
fear of losing his life. He knew that, whether life is
there or not, he is there – true life is there. Because
we do not know this, we fear to lose life. But for
him there was no fear.

DEVOTEE:
A jnani knows he’ll live beyond death.

GURUJI:
Yes.

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, even though I know all is transitory, I live

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 On Death & the Love of Life

my life as if it’s never going to end, unaware of its

impermanent nature.

GURUJI:
Actually, this is everybody’s case; uncertainty is
always there, but nobody sees that. When we take
a breath and then exhale, we can’t be certain we’ll
take another breath or not. It’s not our conscious
effort or choice to breathe. If it were our choice, if it
were in our hands, nobody would stop breathing!
We are put into such a helpless situation but,
in another way, it is such a beautiful condition.
Even though it appears helpless, it is also very
beautiful. So, instead of breathing in suffering and
suffocating ourselves, let us enjoy happiness in
every breath.

GURUJI:
I want you to be happy, happier, happiest – ema-
nating happiness and making other people and
your environment happy. So happy that it’s not
enough that only you should be happy, everyone
around you should also be happy.

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, my life has changed in the direction you
are saying, and I could say I didn’t do anything for
it, that it is all your grace and Baba’s grace. But is
there anything I can do?

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GURUJI:
I’m not asking you to do anything, I’m only asking
you to experience and enjoy what Baba has given
you and what he is ready to give you, that’s all.
Why I am telling you this again and again is
because I feel your lives have become routine, run-
of-the-mill lives. You are losing the thrill of life –
that thrill! Don’t let your life become mechanical.
Every day should be a new day, a fresh day, as if
you didn’t exist yesterday and you’re not going to
exist tomorrow. Today is, this moment is the real
truth, it is the real reality. Happily live a fulfilled
life, experience the art of living. Try to enjoy your
life like that. And, as I told you, if you have a
problem, tell me. I will take care of it. If you don’t
have any problems, enjoy life! [Guruji laughs] Is it
such a difficult instruction?

DEVOTEE:
Guruji, are there any practices to prepare ourselves
for death?

GURUJI:
It is not about preparing for death; it’s about prac-
tising how to live. Learn how to live, not how to
die! Anyhow, you’ll die whether you practise for
it or not. [Laughter] So I emphasize life. Don’t be
obsessed with how to die or with what happens
after death. Learn the art of living, and when you

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 On Death & the Love of Life

have a fulfilled life, you’ll also have a fulfilled end

– if at all that is the end.
If you are puzzled by the enigma of your own
life and gripped by the need to understand and
experience the aesthetics of your book of life, then
you start to learn about it. And how do you learn?
You learn from a tutor who shows you how to read
and understand it. And, because the tutor helps
you to understand your book of life, you’ll love
him. So it all comes back to love.

GURUJI:
The fundamental pull of our love for the Sad-
guru is the love of life. Whether we love Sai Baba,
Ramana, Arunachala or anyone else, we love them
because we love ourselves. We love them because
they represent the perfect fulfilment of our own
lives, our own existence – how we want to be! We
don’t like the state of affairs where our life feels
lifeless. The Sadguru represents a state where life
is experienced in its fullness. So it is our love of life
that is expressed in our pull to the Sadguru. When
we really love our own life and realize everything
is life, we love all of life. Then everything becomes
an extension of that. So, in a way, Sai Baba is an
extension of our own life.

155
 Appendix of Sources

Abbreviation:
s – Satsang (English)

Chapter 1 Darshan
1 s107 23 May 2005 Tiruvannamalai
2 s107 23 May 2005 Tiruvannamalai
3 s107 23 May 2005 Tiruvannamalai
4 s114 7 December 2005 Tiruvannamalai
5 s114 7 December 2005 Tiruvannamalai
6 s85 8 December 2003 Chennai
7 s123 17 August 2007 Tiruvannamalai
8 s127 23 November 2007 Rishikesh
9 s121 27 November 2006 Uttarkashi

Chapter 2 The Familiar Stranger

1 s131 23 February 2008 Tiruvannamalai
2 s104 10 March 2005 Tiruvannamalai
3 s58 14 February 2002 Chennai
s99 16 November 2004 Tiruvannamalai
4 s114 7 December 2005 Tiruvannamalai
5 s126 19 November 2007 Pipalkote
6 s132 18 November 2009 Rishikesh
7 s132 18 November 2009 Rishikesh

Chapter 3 Resistance to Love

1 s133 23 November 2009 Rishikesh
2 s10 4 April 1997 Tiruvannamalai
3 s76 12 June 2003 Chennai
4 s52 15 October 2001 Tiruvannamalai

157
Rose Petals

5 s9 3 April 1997 Tiruvannamalai

6 s115 30 January 2006 Tiruvannamalai
7 s109 15 July 2005 Tiruvannamalai
8 s40 5 May 1998 Shirdi

Chapter 4 Reading the Lives of Saints

1 s36 16 April 1998 Tiruvannamalai
2 s43 8 June 1998 Shirdi
3 s97 16 October 2004 Chennai
4 s48 6 March 1999 Shirdi
5 s83 19 November 2003 Chennai

Chapter 5 Effort from the Heart

1 s56 29 January 2002 Chennai
2 s38 22 April 1998 Tiruvannamalai
3 s133 23 November 2009 Rishikesh
4 s128 26 November 2007 Rishikesh
s67 18 January 2003 Chennai
5 s121 27 November 2006 Uttarkashi
6 s57 1 February 2002 Chennai
7 s91 12 March 2004 Tiruvannamalai
8 s5 30 March 1997 Tiruvannamalai
9 s46 22 July 1998 Shirdi

Chapter 6 Topsy-Turvy in a Well

1 Shri Sai Satcharita – Chapter 32
2 s13 10 April 1997 Tiruvannamalai
3 s50 25 February 2001 Chennai
s74 1 June 2003 Chennai
4 s57 1 February 2002 Chennai
5 s57 1 February 2002 Chennai
6 s57 1 February 2002 Chennai

158
 Appendix of Sources

7 s57 1 February 2002 Chennai

8 s57 1 February 2002 Chennai
9 s109 15 July 2005 Tiruvannamalai
10 s138 6 November 2010 Murnau
s121 27 November 2006 Uttarkashi

Chapter 7 The Unending Love Story

1 s004 Compilation 1993 Tiruvannamalai
2 s19 27 December 1997 Shirdi
3 s9 3 April 1997 Tiruvannamalai
4 s115 30 January 2006 Tiruvannamalai
5 s004 Compilation 1993 Tiruvannamalai
6 s99 16 November 2004 Tiruvannamalai
7 s91 12 March 2004 Tiruvannamalai
8 s115 30 January 2006 Tiruvannamalai
9 s91 12 March 2004 Tiruvannamalai
10 s114 7 December 2005 Tiruvannamalai

Chapter 8 Boring into Boredom

1 s121 27 November 2006 Uttarkashi
2 s81 24 September 2003 Chennai
3 s95 23 July 2004 Tiruvannamalai
4 s54 25 December 2001 Chennai
5 s81 24 September 2003 Chennai
6 s133 23 November 2009 Rishikesh
s32 21 February 1998 Chitrakoot
7 s32 21 February 1998 Chitrakoot
8 s59 3 March 2002 Chennai
9 s29 19 January 1998 Shirdi

Chapter 9 The Gap

1 s88 3 February 2004 Chennai

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Rose Petals

2 s67 18 January 2003 Chennai

3 s88 3 February 2004 Chennai
4 s88 3 February 2004 Chennai
5 s1 5 March 1997 Shirdi
6 s5 30 March 1997 Tiruvannamalai
7 s104 10 March 2005 Tiruvannamalai
s88 3 February 2004 Chennai
8 s5 30 March 1997 Tiruvannamalai
9 s137 9 March 2010 Chennai
s132 18 November 2009 Rishikesh
10 s132 18 November 2009 Rishikesh

Chapter 10 Aspects of Change

1 s70 3 March 2003 Tiruvannamalai
2 s83 19 November 2003 Chennai
s68 1 February 2003 Chennai
3 s76 12 June 2003 Chennai
4 s76 12 June 2003 Chennai
5 s117 10 November 2006 Varanasi
6 s60 21 April 2002 Chennai
7 s128 26 November 2007 Rishikesh

Chapter 11 Helplessness & Seeking Help

1 s34 25 February 1998 Chennai
s91 12 March 2004 Tiruvannamalai
2 s92 2 April 2004 Chennai
3 s92 2 April 2004 Chennai
4 s34 25 February 1998 Chennai
5 s92 2 April 2004 Chennai
6 s133 23 November 2009 Rishikesh
7 s109 15 July 2005 Tiruvannamalai
8 s132 18 November 2009 Rishikesh

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 Appendix of Sources

9 s125 18 November 2007 Pipalkote

10 s81 24 September 2003 Chennai

Chapter 12 On Death & the Love of Life

1 s107 23 May 2005 Tiruvannamalai
2 s27 17 January 1998 Shirdi
3 s131 23 February 2008 Tiruvannamalai
4 s88 3 February 2004 Chennai
5 s97 16 October 2004 Chennai
6 s137 9 March 2010 Chennai
7 s109 15 July 2005 Tiruvannamalai
8 s107 23 May 2005 Tiruvannamalai
9 s115 30 January 2006 Tiruvannamalai
10 s78 8 July 2003 Chennai
s55 19 January 2002 Chennai
11 s13 10 April 1997 Tiruvannamalai

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 Glossary

Note: Entries are in Sanskrit unless otherwise noted; half quotes

are used when the literal differs from the lexical meaning.

arati – ceremonial worship in which the flame of a ghee

lamp or burning camphor is circled clockwise around
the image of a deity or a (living) saint while devotional
hymns are sung, usually performed as part of a prescribed
sequence of ritual acts (puja) in orthodox Hinduism.

Arunachala – aruna ‘red, dynamic’ + achala ‘static, un-

moving’; the holy mountain in Tiruvannamalai, in Tamil
Nadu, South India, traditionally believed to be a form of
Siva and historically the abode of numerous saints and
sages. It is where Sri Ramana Maharshi spent the last 54
years of his life.

Arunachala Padikam – a devotional poem in Tamil com-

posed by Sri Ramana Maharshi in 11 stanzas, expressing
his longing to merge with Arunachala and the blissful
effects of union. Padikam means ‘10 stanzas’, but one
more was added later, so it is also referred to as the Eleven
Verses to Sri Arunachala.

atman – the Self; the spiritual essence (soul) manifest in

the human body (jivatman); Upanishadic term for the
universal Self, transcendent to the empirical ego, held
by Vedanta to be identical with Brahman, the nondual
Absolute; it is the ultimate ground of consciousness and
principle of life and sensation.

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 Glossary

Atma Lingam – ‘sign of the atman’; name of a boon

sought by Ravana from Siva in a story from the Puranas.

avadhuta – ‘cast off’; an enlightened saint who has ‘cast

off’ body consciousness and lives aloof from society,
rejoicing in the bliss of Brahman.

Bhagavad Gita – ‘The Lord’s Song’, (abbrev. ‘Gita’); sub-

lime poem of 700 verses in Book VI of the Mahabharata
(c.5th century BCE), in which Lord Sri Krishna reveals
the nature of death, rebirth, and Self-realization to his
warrior-disciple, Arjuna, along with teachings on the yo-
gas of love, knowledge, work, and meditation as paths
to salvation. It is Hinduism’s most widely accepted and
respected text.

Bhagavan – The Lord; Supreme Reality endowed with

infinite power, compassion and knowledge; highest
epithet of Godhead, applied honorifically to Sri Ramana
Maharshi as a mark of great respect and devotion.

bhakti – devotion (fr. verb root bhaj, ‘to share, partake

of’); the practice of devotional theism or loving devotion
to a personal form of the deity, customarily one’s teacher
(guru), or one’s chosen form of God (Ishtadevata), as the
prime means to release (moksha).

Bodhgaya – the site in modern Bihar where Siddhartha

Gautama experienced complete, perfect enlightenment
and was henceforth known as the Buddha.

Bodhi Tree – the ‘Tree of Awakening’ (ficus religiosa) un-

der which the Buddha sat when after 49 days he attained
complete, perfect enlightenment.

Brahma Sutra – one of the three foundational texts of

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Vedanta (along with the Vedas and Bhagavad Gita), at-

tributed to Badarayana (2e BCE), also called the Vedanta
Sutra. It presents the conclusions of the Upanishads in
a logical manner and establishes the Brahman-Atman
equation as the ultimate truth and the nature of true be-
ing as existence, consciousness and bliss (Saccidananda).

Brahman – Vedic term for the nondual impersonal Abso-

lute, both formless (nirguna), and with form (saguna). It is
the ultimate ground of Being (Sat), source of all existence
and experience.

Buddha – The Awakened One; title given to Siddhartha

Gautama (c. 485 - 405 BCE), the sage on whose teachings
Buddhism was founded.

Buddham saranam gacchami – “I take refuge in the Bud-

dha”; the first of the three jewels (Tri-ratna) comprising
the Buddhist profession of faith in the three foundations
of Buddhism – the Buddha, the Dharma (teachings), and
the Sangha (community of monks and nuns).

chamak/chamatkar – ‘dazzling’; a miracle, or a miracu-

lous experience.

darshan – sight, vision; seeing or being in the presence of

a deity, saint or sacred image, in the sense of both seeing
and being seen.

Dattatreya – 1) Puranic sage, son of Anasuya and Atri;

2) A divine incarnation with three heads considered a
composite deity incorporating Brahma, Vishnu and Siva,
portrayed as accompanied by four dogs representing the
Vedas. He was the patron saint of a medieval sect of Nath
Siddhas and is often revered today as the embodiment
of the supreme guru.

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 Glossary

dharma – truth, law (universal and particular), order

(cosmic and social), teaching, religion; virtuous behav-
iour; the ‘eternal Way’ (sanatana dharma) of truth, non-
violence and virtuous conduct followed by saints since
time immemorial.

divya drishti – divine sight; transcendental vision, sight

of the subtle dimension (suksma loka).

drishti – seeing; knowing, knowledge; eye, faculty of

sight.

Ekkirala Bharadwaja – (1938-1989), eminent Sai devotee

and spiritual teacher (acharya), author of an important
biography of Sai Baba and Sri Babuji’s lecturer in English
literature in college, who guided his sadhana and in-
spired his love for Sai Baba. Sri Babuji regarded him as
his guru throughout his life.

Ganesha – the pan-Indian, elephant-headed god, son of

Siva and Parvati, giver of good luck and remover of ob-
stacles, who is saluted at the beginning of every under-
taking and in all orthodox rites of worship.

giri pradakshina – circumambulation of a sacred object

or image, keeping it always to one’s right as an act of rev-
erence. Giri means ‘mountain’ or ‘hill’ in Sanskrit; hence
here giri pradakshina means walking clockwise around
Arunachala as an act of devotion. It was a favourite ac-
tivity of Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi.

gurudakshina – the fee paid by the disciple to his guru

at the conclusion of his studies; any offering to the
guru given as a gift of gratitude by a student, devotee
or individual.
hamsa – swan, goose; yogic symbol for the natural

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sound of the Self breathing, made by the breath entering

(ham) and exiting (sah) the body. When repeated quickly
it becomes so’ham, meaning ‘That I am’ in Sanskrit.

Ishwara – God; personal form of the Absolute Being.

japa – repetition of mantras or the name(s) of God or the

Guru.

jnana – experiential knowledge of absolute truth,

grounded on intuitive insight (pratibha); wisdom (prajna).

jnani – a person who has experiential knowledge of ab-

solute truth; a fully enlightened, Self-realized being.

kafni – Urdu; a one-piece, knee-length cotton robe worn

by Muslim ascetics.

Kali – ‘the black one’; goddess of destruction and

wife of Lord Siva, a form of Durga or Parvati, the
Divine Mother, usually represented as a black goddess
with dishevelled hair, a red tongue protruding from
her mouth, and a garland of skulls around her
neck. Perhaps originally a tribal goddess, Kali was
assimilated into the Puranic and Sanskritic traditions
as a demon-destroying power of Durga, appeased by
blood-sacrifice, but by the 8th century she was the
focus of refined, esoteric tantric worship, particularly
in Bengal, where Sri Ramamkrishna Paramahamsa
was a priest in her temple at Dakshineswar.

karanas – causes; plural of karana, cause, as in trikarana

shuddhi, the ‘triple cause of purity’ of thought, word and
deed, which leads to enlightenment.

karma yoga – the yoga of disinterested action, leading to

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 Glossary

sama or samatva, a state of equipoise, based on purity of

heart and will. (See below under ‘samma’.)

Khandoba Temple – Khandoba is a Maharashtrian

avatar of Lord Siva, renowned for his wish-granting
power and widely worshipped under this name at
hundreds of temples across the Deccan, the main centre
being at Jejuri, in Pune District. It was the first temple
visited by Sai Baba when he came to Shirdi; its priest,
Mhalsapati, was the first to call him ‘Sai Baba’.

Krishna Bhikshu – a close devotee of Sri Ramana Ma-

harshi who wrote an early (1936) biography of Bhagavan
in Telugu, called Sri Ramana Leela, the only biography
seen and corrected by Sri Bhagavan and hence consid-
ered the most authentic. It was much appreciated  by 
Guruji, who was befriended by Sri Krishna Bhikshu dur-
ing his early sadhana days on the holy hill (Arunachala).

kshanakshane yannavata Ramaneya roopam – part of

a sloka in Valmiki’s Ramayana stating that Lord Rama’s
form is renewed ‘instant by instant’.

mahasamadhi – ‘great absorption’; respectful term for

the death of a saint.

Milarepa – (1040-1123 CE) the most famous saint and

yogi of Tibet who endured six years of trials imposed
on him by his master, Marpa the Translator (1012-1097
CE), so severe he was near suicide. Afterward, Marpa
transmitted to him the teachings of Naropa, particularly
the practice of ‘inner heat’ (Tib. tumno), and the complete
teachings of the mahamudra. He became the founder of
the Kagyüpa School of Tibetan Buddhism, made famous
in the modern era by Chögyam Trungpa (1940-1987), a
master of that order.

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mukti – freed; liberation from embodied existence.

murshid – Arabic; a spiritual master and guide of a Sufi

order.

namaskar – ‘I bow to you’; the traditional greeting or

gesture of respect, made by bringing the palms together
vertically in front of the heart; also the act of bowing or
prostrating before any object of devotion.

Narada – a mythical Brahmin sage devoted to Vishnu

who had the divine boon of unrestricted travel between
the celestial worlds (lokas) while acting as a wander-
ing minstrel and messenger to the gods. The medieval
Narada Bhakti Sutras are ascribed to him.

Nayanmars – Tamil; ‘Lords’, ‘Leaders’; collective desig-

nation given to the 63 Tamil Saivite saints; see further un-
der ‘Periya Puranam’.

Nirguna Bhakti – love of the formless, nondual Ab-

solute, ‘Advaita Bhakti’; devotion to the undifferentiated
Supreme Being called Nirguna Brahman in the Upan-
ishads and given philosophical priority by Sankara in
Advaita Vedanta. It emphasizes the mystical nature
of trans-egoic love, often conceived as manifest in the
figure of the Sadguru, whose grace and illuminative
agency  are considered essential to fulfilment. Among
its classical exemplars are Kabir (1415-1518), Raidas
(1450-1525) and Guru Nanak (1469-1539), and modern
masters like Sai Baba of Shirdi (d.1918), Bhagavan Sri
Ramana Maharshi (1876-1950), and Sri Anandamayi Ma
(1896-1982).

nirvana – ‘blowing out’; liberation, extinction; in Thera-

vada Buddhism, the state of release from samsara that

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 Glossary

occurs upon extinction of craving or desire (tanha); in

Mahayana, the realization of ‘suchness’ (tathata), or the
Dharmakaya, the Buddha’s body of Truth.

Nisargadatta Maharaj – influential modern Maharash-

trian saint and jnani (1897-1981) who espoused a pow-
erful, pure form of Advaita Vedanta to seekers from his
home in Mumbai. His satsang, translated and published
in 1973 by Maurice Frydman as I Am That, became a
modern classic and gave Maharaj worldwide renown.

Panduranga – another name for Vithoba, the form of Sri

Krishna specially beloved by the Varkaris of the pilgrim-
age tradition associated with Pandharpur, Maharashtra.

parikrama – to go around; to circumambulate a holy ob-

ject or person in a clockwise direction as an act of venera-
tion and respect.

Periya Puranam – ‘Great Story’; an important Tamil Saiva

hagiographical work by Cekkilar (12th cent. CE) that
tells the life stories of the 63 Tamil Saivite saints known
as Nayanmars, who flourished from 6th to 9th cent. CE
in what is now Tamil Nadu and Andhra Pradesh. They
gave rise to an intimate, personalized form of devotion
called bhakti that was shared by their Vaishnava
counterparts called Alvars. This led to the development
of the medieval Sant movement in Maharashtra that
culminated in the Nirguna Bhakti Mysticism of Guru
Nanak, Kabir and modern saints like Sai Baba of Shirdi
and Sri Anandamayi Ma.

Poondi Swami – legendary saint and adept living near

Tiruvannamalai, renowned for his state of ecstatic ab-
sorption, called ajagarabhava (python-state), in which
he remained for the last 18 years of his life (d.1978). Sri

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Rose Petals

Babuji had sakshatkar (Self-realization) while visiting him

in 1974.

pradakshina – ‘right-facing’; moving clockwise around a

sacred object or image, keeping it always to one’s right as
an act of reverence.

puja – ceremonial worship; ritualistic worship of a deity,

saint, or sacred image, consisting traditionally of 16 ritual
offerings accompanied by recitation of mantras.

Purana – old story; name of a large class of texts, written

from 8e to 16e cent. CE, composed to make Vedic religion
adaptable to popular understanding. There are 18 major
puranas, 6 each glorifying Brahma, Vishnu and Siva. The
most famous are the Srimad Bhagavatam (for Vaishnavas),
the Skanda Purana (for Saivites), and the Markandeya
Purana (for Saktas or Mother worshippers).

purusha – person; Self, atman; Satpurusha – the cosmic

Self.

Rama – a king of the Solar dynasty at Ayodhya (trad.

3800-3700 BCE) and 7th avatar of Vishnu, husband of
Sita, whose life and deeds are told outwardly in Valmiki’s
Ramayana and Tulsidas’ Ramcharitamanasa, and inwardly
in the Yogavasistha. Lord Rama is considered the personi-
fication of Dharma and the ideal king and husband.

Ramakrishna – Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa (1836-

1886), celebrated Bengali saint and mystic, and ecstatic
devotee of the Divine Mother as Kali. By her grace, he
practised the sadhanas of many religions – Sufism,
Christianity, Mother Worship, Advaita Vedanta and
Vaishnava Bhakti – and found that all were forms of
one Truth leading to God-Realization. His great disciple,

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 Glossary

Swami Vivekananda (1862-1902) carried this universal

Oneness to the West in the form of Advaita Vedanta,
which he introduced to America in 1893 at the World
Parliament of Religions in Chicago.

Ramana Maharshi – the celebrated sage (1879-1950) of

Mt. Arunachala, in Tiruvannamalai, Tamil Nadu, whose
rare degree of realization, saintly life and appearance,
and pristine teaching of Advaita, distinguished him as
among the greatest of saints. At age 16 he attained Self-
realization and was drawn to the holy hill, where he
stayed for the rest of his life, and where his ashram and
samadhi are still active, attracting seekers from around
the world.

Ravana – a great asura (demon), Lord of Lanka, renowned

for his sorcery and occult, magical powers. He is the evil
protagonist of the Sanskrit epic Ramayana who steals Sita,
Lord Rama’s wife, thereby precipitating the war between
himself and Lord Rama recorded in the Ramayana, where
Lord Rama, aided by Hanuman and the monkey tribe,
finally defeats Ravana and gets Sita back.

Saivite – a devotee or follower of Siva.

Sadguru – ‘true guru’; a fully-enlightened spiritual

master who is capable of guiding others towards en-
lightenment and realizing the truth of their essential
Being.

sadhaka – one who practises sadhana.

sadhana – (fr. sadh – ‘to succeed, attain’); self-effort;

means to the goal; any spiritual discipline.

sadhu – holy person, ascetic; a serious seeker who has

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devoted his life to a spiritual path and practice in pur-

suit of truth.

Sahasra sheersha purushaha, sahasraksha sahasrapath

– part of a famous sloka in the Purusha Suktam, the
Creation Hymn of the Rig Veda, describing the cosmic
person as having a thousand heads and eyes.

Saipatham – the path of Sai; the path of Sadguru devo-

tion centered on Sai Baba of Shirdi as exemplified in the
life and teaching of Sri Sarath Babuji; the name of the
satsang hall and surrounding area in Shirdi where Sri
Babuji’s samadhi is located.

samadhi – trance; meditative state of absorption;

respectful term for the death of a saint; the tomb of a
saint or holy person.

Samadhi Mandir – The temple in Shirdi where Sai Baba’s

tomb is located.

samma – Pali (Skt. sama); balance, equanimity, poise,

harmony. The fundamental virtue extolled by the
Buddha and praised repeatedly in the Bhagavad Gita as
the optimal condition for spiritual unfoldment.

samyag vyayama – right or correct effort, the 6th limb

of the noble eight-fold path of Buddhism (arya-astanga-
marga).

Sannidhanam – the place of Sri Babuji’s tomb in Shirdi

where his presence (sannidhi) may still be palpably
experienced.

sannyasa – the last stage (asrama) of human life according

to ancient Hindu Dharma in which a person renounces

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 Glossary

family, possessions, caste, and worldly life in quest of

God or Truth.

sannyasin – one who has taken sannyasa and renounced

home, family, and his worldly life in order to surrender
to the Divine and become a wanderer in search of God.

sastras – scripture; teaching, doctrine, treatise.

satsang – association with a great soul or discussion on

spiritual subjects; sangha (association) with Sat (truth).

satori – Jap. The term in Japanese Zen Buddhism for the

experience of awakening leading to enlightenment.

seva – selfless service undertaken on behalf of god or

guru as a means of self-purification or an expression of
devotion.

Shirdi – a small town in Maharashtra which was the

abode of Sai Baba, now a major pilgrimage centre; it was
Guruji’s home from 1989 to 2010.

Shri Sai Satcharita – ‘The Blessed True Story of Sai’.

The first comprehensive biography of Sai Baba, written
by G. R. Dabholkar (Hemadpant), his direct devotee,
and sanctioned by Baba himself. It is considered the
prime authority for Baba’s life and stories (leelas) and is
regarded as a sacred text by devotees.

Siva – ‘the auspicious one’; one of the three major

Hindu gods forming a trinity with Brahma (the Creator)
and Vishnu (the Preserver). Siva governs the aspect of
destruction and transformation.

soham (sah-aham) – ‘That I am’, with ‘so’ standing for

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Rose Petals

cosmic consciousness (Brahman) and ‘aham’ for individu-

al consciousness (atman); the Self’s innate mantra used in
ajapa japa, said to be the unconscious prayer repeated by
the breath itself, ‘so’ occurring with inhalation, ‘ham’ with
exhalation (also the reverse according to some texts).

Sri Ramana Leela – name of an important, early bio-

graphy of Sri Ramana Maharshi in Telugu written by Sri
Krishna Bhikshu.

Srimad Bhagavatam – a major devotional text for Vaish-

navas, second only to the Bhagavad Gita, portraying Sri
Krishna’s life and leelas and extolling love of Sri Krishna
as the instrumental means of release.

Sufi – Arabic; ‘wearer of wool’; member of an order of

the mystical tradition of Islam called Sufism, devoted
to an inner path under a guru (Sheikh, murshid), whose
object is to achieve direct, experiential knowledge of the
Real, which, through illumination (kashf), leads to com-
munion with God (fana fi’llah). Sufism influenced, and
shares many traits with the Medieval Mystical School of
Nirguna Bhakti exemplified by Guru Nanak and Kabir,
and modern saints such as Shirdi Sai Baba.

Tantra(s) – ‘warp, loom, threads’; text; a broad class of

scriptures outside the canon of the Vedas but equally
ancient, whose content and authority depends on extra-
Vedic revelation and direct transmission from guru
to disciple, not upon Vedic mantras and sacrifices, or
Brahminical rituals and observances. Tantras cover the
Saiva Agamas and Vaishnava Samhitas, but the term is
usually applied to texts teaching Mother Worship (Sakta
Tantras). The Tantras look inward, not outward, and use
psychic centres of the human body as focuses of esoteric
worship.

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 Glossary

Tiruvannamalai – ancient temple town in Tamil Nadu,

about 185 km from Chennai, site of the holy mountain
Arunachala and the great temple to Siva, Arunacha-
leswara, at its eastern base. It was the home of Sri Ra-
mana Maharshi from 1896 until his mahasamadhi in 1950,
where his ashram and samadhi are still active and vis-
ited by thousands of pilgrims annually from around the
world. It was one of Guruji’s favourite places and he
gave many of his satsangs there.

Upanishads – philosophical treatises attached to the

Vedas containing the speculations and mystical insights
of the Vedic Rishis into the nature of ultimate reality; it
is termed the Vedanta Philosophy because it occurs at
the end (anta) of the Vedas.

Valmiki – legendary sage and author of the original

Sanskrit epic poem, the Ramayana (c. 500 BCE),
considered to be the first literary poet (adikavi) of India
known by name. He is credited with inventing the
characteristic epic metre known as the sloka, which is
said to have occurred to him when he heard a bird cry.

Vanjari – a tradesman; in 19th century Maharashtra, usu-

ally a man with a bullock cart selling wares and food-
stuffs.

Veda(s) – ‘sacred knowledge’, from vid ’to know.’ The

Vedas are the oldest and most sacred scriptures of the
Hindus (c.1500 BCE) and are held to be eternal, without
human authorship (apauruseya), and of divine authority;
acceptance of this is a criterion of orthodoxy. They
are said to be sruti (that which is heard) or divinely
revealed to the ancient rishis and sages. They comprise
the Rig, Yajur, Sama, and Atharva Veda, and include
the Upanishads. They teach the nature and worship of

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Brahman, the nondual Absolute, both with and without

form.

Vedanta – ‘end of the Vedas’; the philosophy of the iden-

tity of Brahman-atman and spiritual freedom (moksha)
portrayed in the Upanishads, Bhagavad Gita and Brah-
masutra, upholding worship of both the personal (sagu-
na) and impersonal (nirguna) forms of Brahman.

yoga – ‘yoke, union’; generic term for various methods of

integration of the individual soul with God or universal
soul (Brahman), indigenous to India from antiquity. The
Karma, Jnana, Bhakti and Dhyana Yogas are mentioned
in the Bhagavad Gita (5e cent. BCE). Other equally an-
cient psycho-physical practices consisting of postures,
breath control, concentration, and various trance states
leading to union (yoga) were codified later classically by
Patanjali in his Yogasutras (350-450 CE). Yoga philosophy
and its attainments (siddhis, samadhis) form a common
background to all forms of Indian religion.

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 Saipatham Publications

Saipatham Publications is dedicated to preserving and

publishing materials about the life, literary works and spiritual
legacy of Sri Sainathuni Sarath Babuji, his great Sadguru Sai
Baba of Shirdi, and other saints associated with Sri Babuji’s
life and thought. Our publications are offered primarily in
English and Telugu as described below, with certain titles also
available in Tamil and Kannada where indicated.

Publications in English
1. Arati Sai Baba: The Psalm Book of Shirdi Aratis. English
Transliteration of the original Marathi Arati Songs with
English Translation, Introduction and Commentary. By Sri
Sainathuni Sarath Babuji (Shirdi: Saipatham Publications,
1996); Pp.67. (Under reprint). A definitive edition of Sai Baba’s
Aratis showing their historical background and devotional
significance.

2. Bound to Love: Experiences with Sri Babuji. Compiled

and edited by SaiSeekers (Shirdi: Saipatham Publications,
2011); Pp. 241. Fascinating accounts of devotees’ life-changing
experiences with Sri Babuji, with photographs and Glossary.

3. Rose Petals: Selections from Satsangs with Sri Babuji –

Vol. 1. Edited by Ram Brown Crowell and Alison Williams
(Shirdi: Saipatham Publications, 2012); Pp.124. The first
published volume of Sri Babuji’s original English satsangs, with
colour photographs, Glossary, and biographical Introduction.

4. Rose Petals: Selections from Satsangs with Sri Babuji –

Vol. 2. Edited by Ram Brown Crowell (Shirdi: Saipatham
Publications, 2013); Pp.157. The second volume of Sri Babuji’s

177
English satsangs, with colour photographs, Glossary, and an
Introduction on the presence of Sri Babuji in his satsangs.
5. Rose Petals: Selections from Satsangs with Sri Babuji –
Vol. 3. Edited by Ram Brown Crowell, with Yvonne Weier
and Linda (Bhakti) Bonner (Shirdi: Saipatham Publications,
2014); Pp.178. The third volume of selections from Sri Babuji’s
English satsangs, with colour photographs, Glossary, and an
Introduction on transformation in the satsangs of Sri Babuji.
6. Experiencing Sai Baba’s Shirdi: A Guide. By Alison
Williams (Shirdi: Saipatham Publications, 2e rev., 2004);
Pp.153; illustrated with maps, diagrams and photographs. The
most comprehensive guidebook to Shirdi and the relics, sites
and stories associated with Baba’s long residence there during
the last 50 years of his life.

7. Babuji [pamphlet]. By Yvonne Weier with Geoff Dowson

(Shirdi: Saipatham Publications, 2013); Pp.36; illustrated. An
intimate biographical memoir of Sri Babuji.
8. Smriti Sumalu – Flowers of Remembrance. By SaiSeekers
(Shirdi: Saipatham Publications, 2011); Pp.143.  A collective
memoir of devotees’ experiences that occurred in connection
with Sri Babuji’s mahasamadhi, with Glossary and an Intro-
duction narrating the events of his entombment in Shirdi. In
English and Telugu.

Publications in Telugu
1. Prarthana Patham [booklet]. The daily prayer and hymn
to Sri Sai Baba, adapted by Sri Sainathuni Sarath Babuji
into Telugu, from Sri Ramana Maharshi’s hymn Arunachala
Padikam in Bhagavan’s Marital Garland of Letters (Shirdi:
Saipatham Publications, n.d.).

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2. Sai Bhakti Sadhana Rahasyam. An in-depth introduc-
tion to the Sai Tradition (Sai Sampradaya) by Sri Sainathuni
Sarath Babuji (Shirdi: Saipatham Publications, 1996). In
Telugu, Tamil and Kannada editions. A treasury of insights
into Sai Worship and the path of devotion by Sri Sarath Babuji.
3. Sri Sai Gurucharitra. Selected works by Das Ganu
Maharaj, with an explanatory foreword by Sri Sainathuni
Sarath Babuji. Translated from Marathi into Telugu by
S.V.L. Narayana Rao (Shirdi: Saipatham Publications, 1996).
4. Sai Deevena. Edited by SaiSeekers (Shirdi: Saipatham Pub-
lications, 2011). A moving anthology of devotees’ experiences
with Sri Sainathuni Sarath Babuji.
5. Sarathchandrikalu – Vol. 1. By SaiSeekers (Shirdi: Sai-
patham Publications, 2012). A translation into Telugu of Rose
Petals, Vol. 1.
6. Sarathchandrikalu – Vol. 2. By SaiSeekers (Shirdi: Sai-
patham Publications, 2013). A translation into Telugu of Rose
Petals, Vol. 2.
7. Sarathchandrikalu – Vol. 3. By SaiSeekers (Shirdi: Sai-
patham Publications, 2014). A translation into Telugu of Rose
Petals, Vol. 3.

8. Sri Sai Bhakta Vijayam. By Sri Sainathuni Sarath Babuji

(Shirdi: Saipatham Publications, 2012). Original articles on six
early devotees of Sri Sai Baba.

9. Saipatham – Vol. 1. (Shirdi: Saipatham Publications, 1988;

2e rev., 2014). A collection of original articles by Sri Sainathuni
Sarath Babuji, reprinted from Saipatham Magazine (1988 -1994).

10. Saipatham – Sri Saileela Prabodha Darshini. (Shirdi:

Saipatham Publications, 2013). A compilation of articles by
various authors including articles by Sri Sarath Babuji from
Saipatham Magazine (2001 – 2003).

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11. Sri Sai Bhakta Anubhava Samhita. (Shirdi: Saipatham
Publications, 2008). A translation into Telugu by Sainathuni
Surendra Babu of Devotees Experiences of Sri Sai Baba by Sri
B.V. Narasimha Swami.
12. Sri Babuji. By SaiSeekers (Shirdi: Saipatham, 2014). A re-
vised translation of the original Babuji in English by Yvonne
Weier and Geoff Dowson, adapted into Telugu by SaiSeekers.

13. Purnavadhuta Sri Poondi Swami. By Smt. Sainathuni

Anasuya Ammagaru (Shirdi: Saipatham Publications, 2014).
A revised translation of Sainathuni Gunashekar’s original an-
thology in Tamil of devotees’ experiences with Poondi Swami
(Chennai: A. Gunasekhar Rao, 2011). This revised edition is
currently the most complete and authoritative account of Sri
Poondi Swami in any language.

The books above can be ordered at a nominal price from

Saipatham Publications at: saipa@saimail.com or by phone at:
(+91) 93855-93866, or (+91) 99625-99725. The first three
volumes of Rose Petals and Babuji are available as eBooks from
Amazon and the Apple Store.

For further information on Sri Sai Baba and the life and teach-
ings of Sri Babuji please visit:
www.saibaba.com
http://saipatham.saibaba.com
http://downloads.saibaba.com
www.sribabuji.com

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