Self Empowerment

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Dr.

Adukia’s Self Empowerment: Taking Control of Our Life

SELF EMPOWERMENT: TAKING CONTROL OF OUR LIFE

By

Dr. Rajkumar S. Adukia

Author of 200 plus books,

WINNER OF NATIONAL BOOK HONOUR AWARD 2018

B.Com. (Hons.), LL.B. FCA, FCS, FCMA, MBA,

Dip IFRS (UK), DLL&LW, DIPR, Dip in Criminology, PhD


Email: rajkumaradukia@caaa.in

Phone No: 9820061049

INTRODUCTION

The first essential requirement for any achievement is empowerment. The process
of gaining freedom and power to do what you want or to control what happens to
you is the idea of ‘SELF EMPOWERMENT’. The essence of self-empowerment is
the acceptance of the fact that YOU cannot always determine what comes your
way in life, but you need to equip yourself well enough so that you can steer
yourself towards a more effective and fulfilling life.

Self-actualization or the need to realize one's own maximum potential and


possibilities is a desirewhich most people dream to achieve. ‘Maslow's hierarchy
of needs’ created by American psychologist Abraham Harold Maslow in 1943was
a theory of psychological health based on fulfilling human needs in priority,
resulting in self-actualization. Maslow's hierarchy of needs is represented as a five-
tier hierarchical level pyramid with the more basic needs at the bottom. A need on


 
the lower tier must be satisfied first before the individual moves towards satisfying
a need higher up in the pyramid.

Source: https://www.wikipedia.org/

The fourth level which relates to the need for self-esteem and self-worth – is the
level which shows the importance of self-fulfillment for an individual. This level is
the reason why people want to empower themselves and aspire to maximize and
ultimately reach their full potential.

Realizing the Power of ‘YOU’ is the basis of life. What ‘YOU’ think, ‘YOU’
become. What idea ‘YOU’ conceive, turns ‘YOU’ into a success story. What
‘YOU’ believe in truthfully and blindly from the depth of your heart ultimately
happens to ‘YOU’. ‘YOU’ can change your destiny by ‘YOUR’ karma. ‘YOU’ are
the architect of your own future.

YOUR future is in YOUR hands. Empower YOURSELF and Take Control of your
Life.

POWER OF POSITIVE CHOICES

Everyone has to make choices in life. Even if you decide not to make a choice –
that itself is a choice too. Nowadays, even in the voting mechanism of election
there is an option of ‘None of the Above’ (NOTA). So, a choice has to be made

 
and it may be unnerving and anxious for many people to keep pondering over
whether they have made the right choice.

Old times were simpler times. People were not stressed out in choosing between
alternatives – as soft drink only meant ‘campa cola’ and entertaining television
program only meant ‘chitrahaar’. Not only choices amongst material objects, but
even personal and professional choices were simpler – Sunday outing meant picnic
with family and ‘gajjar ka halwa’ with dry fruits was made only when the boss
came for dinner. Howeverthe dilemma bothering people today is the variety of
choices available in both personal and professional fronts:

 Tea v/s Coffee


 Sleep v/s Exercise
 Eating out v/s Eating home cooked food
 Holiday with family in Spain v/s Holiday with friends in Goa
 Army posting at non-family station (higher salary) v/s Army posting at
family station (lower salary)
 Designation ‘Asia Pacific – Regional Development Manager’ based at
Singapore v/s Designation ‘Regional Development Manager’ based at New
Delhi
 Firing employee due to recession v/s Absorbing employee in tangent
department instead of firing

The choices to be made on a daily basis are endless. Making positive choices
ensures that you live a happy and enriching life. A choice is a positive choice if it
is made for growth and betterment. A choice is a positive choice if it is made with
a positive mind-set and for a constructive outcome even in the most difficult
circumstances. How are we to ensure that we have made the right choice?

There is no guarantee and no sure shot way to decipher if you have made the right
choice. However, there are ways to consciously enable yourself to make positive
choices, which can be listed as follows:

 Focus only on your goal and what you desire as the end-result when making
a choice.


 
 Don’t let the fear of failure disarm you. Sometimes failure is just disguised
good luck.
 Don’t make any choice when in the moment of extreme emotion i.e anger,
happiness, depression etc.
 Make informed choices based on factual information and not on assumptions
or hearsay or gossip
 Don’t overanalyze either before or after making a choice.
 Find a quiet time to think about your choice
 Accept the external and internal constraints within which the choice has to
be made instead of avoiding them
 It is impossible to be totally free from influence when making a choice, but
if we become more aware of those influences and understand how they
affect our decision making, it will help in making a positive choice

SETTING GOALS

An aim triggers action. People find it easier to be motivated by set goals. Further if
those goals are put down on paper – it adds a sense of finality to them. List what
you aspire for in life whether it is material possessions, happiness, strong
relationships etc. The structure you need to adopt for fulfillment of goals needs to
be chalked out and put on paper. Once the structure is in place achieving the goals
does not seem a daunting task. We need to draw out a time schedule of work
commencement and completion and the methods to be adopted. Once that is done,
we have attained a shallow foundation. To obtain a deeper foundation we need to
create an environment of introspection and self-motivation.

Nobody is ever too old to learn. Sharpening knowledge in your goal areas is
imperative. There is always an innovation, a new technique, a better way of doing
things being discovered and it equips you to learn the ways of the changing times.
Always be in transit in life. For goal fulfillment, you can keep supplementing your
knowledge forever.

Organized planning is the only route to success. Success doesn’t happen overnight.
Hard work, perseverance and years of consistent implementation of plans
eventually make you look like an overnight success. Plans crystallize desire into
action which ultimately steer you to success. Your dreams and vision take shape in


 
the form of plans. To be effective, a plan of action must have a definite deadline as
the mind works on specific information. Planning without timing is futile. Even if
your idea is still in the nascent stage, an itinerary is essential. If you had the money
to put the plan in action – What would you do? If you have already prepared the
blueprint of plan of action, then when you actually have the capital to turn your
idea into reality, your job would be easier and quicker.

For a plan to succeed it must be practical and workable. However, although your
itinerary should be pragmatic but it should not be too orthodox and laden with
worry and over-caution. While jotting down the plan of action remember that if
you want to achieve extra-ordinary things you can’t be ordinary. You may have to
stick your neck out and go out of your comfort zone to make magic.

It should be a definite course of action with an unambiguous time schedule of


completion. If your plan fails to achieve the desired result – make another plan –
and then another. Don’t be afraid if your plan fails. Failure of a plan does not
guarantee failure of your goal. It just educates you to adopt a different approach
and make a new map of action.

Plans require details, information, facts, figures etc. which you may not have
access to on your own. To prepare a master plan to achieve your riches you may
require the assistance of various people and resources. So, the first step towards
making a plan for attainment of your goal should be to identify the men, material
and money you may need to carve your plan.

Just writing the plan will not be enough. It has to be put into action. Putting off a
plan and waiting for the right day and time to put the plan in action is a guarantee
of lack of confidence in your goal.

Initially when we write our plan, enthusiasm and excitement of making our first
step towards our goal drives us. But as time wears on, our goal becomes distant
and unattainable. That is why specific money figure and specific time figure is a
must when preparing a plan. A plan to achieve a goal of “I want to make $10,000
per month starting from 1st January 2018” is easier to implement than a plan to
achieve a goal defined as “I want to make more money next year” as there is
ambiguity about the initiation and completion point.


 
When you have determined the task which need to be implemented to achieve your
goal, then you must determine the actions you will need to perform to attain the
goal. List these actions and put each of them in a time schedule. You can break the
plan down to one task each day. At times the goal looks overwhelming. When we
break down the goal into small steps in the form of a schedule or plan we make our
goal seem attainable as we decipher the way forward to our sub-conscious mind.

Once you have laid out a plan in the form of a daily schedule and targets to attain
for the journey towards the goal, the most important part of the planning is to
follow your schedule. Remind yourself that until you don’t act and do the daily
tasks you have committed to, you are miles away from your dream of making
money.

SKILL DEVELOPMENT

A wise man once said, ‘add life to your days, not days to your life’. Your ability to
do something is your skill. Skills need to be enhanced and upgraded. Your
competence and expertise can be displayed by developing your skills.

Be a livewire: always full of life. Channel your passion towards your goal into
your personal self as well. When you are energetic and vibrant you bring a new
magical gusto in your small tasks. This reduces struggle and inefficiency and fills
you with positivity to surge forward. Discover something new each day. Create
something new each day. Leave your comfort zone, break habits, unlearn what you
already know and explore new territories.

Acquire new skills and hone your existing ones. Challenge yourself and you will
be surprised.

a. Personal Skills

Improve your personal skills. Soft skills are the personal attributes that enhance an
individual's personality, job performance and career prospects. Some examples for
the same could be Communication skills; Anger management skill; Team
management skills; General etiquette; Negotiation skills; Behavioral traits; Time
management techniques; Stress management skills etc. which are your essential
character traits. Your soft skills set you apart from others and give you an edge


 
over them. They are the key factor in determining how far and at what rate you will
climb the ladder to success. In both personal and professional field, soft skills are
much harder to teach as compared to technical expertise. But once you enhance
your soft skills your goals come closer within your reach and the path to success
accelerates.

b. Interpersonal Skills

The ability to communicate or interact well with other people (whether it is peers,
subordinates or your team) is what is known as interpersonal skills. Interpersonal
skills differ from soft skills or personal skills as they are the skills which come into
play when there is interaction between two or more persons as opposed to personal
skills which are essentially your character traits. Whatever business or profession
you may be in – interaction with various kinds of people is essential. The people
you come in contact with may be from different social, economic and cultural
background. If in employment, you may come in contact with maybe not one but
many employers, your colleagues and juniors. If in self-employment, you may be
transacting business with customers, suppliers, creditors etc. almost every day.
Your interpersonal skills become vital in these cases – to the extent that they
largely determine your success and fame ratio.

Interpersonal skills can be loosely described as life skills we use every day when
interacting with others personally or professionally. They may include a variety of
activities like – Communication, Listening, body language, ability to collaborate,
display of work ethics and workplace etiquette, display of personal etiquette,
commitment capacity, professionalism, problem solving capability, decision
making ability, self confidence, receptiveness to feedback, showing appreciation,
positive attitude and overall vibrant demeanor. This list is not exhaustive and may
include many more skills depending on the level of personal and professional
interaction at play.

The importance of interpersonal skills

Your technical skills may get you your dream job, but interpersonal skills will
ensure that you retain it. Your location-specific advantage may get you customers,
but interpersonal skills will ensure that they become your loyal customers for life.


 
Your university education may put you in proximity with people, but interpersonal
skills will ensure that you make lifelong friends. Your personal relationships like
parents, siblings, spouse, children and relatives may me god given, but
interpersonal relationships will ensure that you forge undying bonds of love.
Therefore the importance of interpersonal relationships cannot be taken for
granted.

Some advantages of interpersonal relationships in the workplace can be listed as


follows:

 Leave a lasting impression on people


 Equip you with Productive Abilities
 Ensure your Personality development and overall growth
 Facilitates in Team management
 Makes you Indispensable to organization
 Gives you an Edge over Competitors
 Forges Better Relationships

How to develop interpersonal skills:

Our inherent character traits have been developing our whole life. As we
communicate and interact more with others, these character traits develop and in
turn they develop our interpersonal skills. Interpersonal skills are so subtle that at
times we don’t realize that we need to pay attention to them as they are inbuilt and
taken for granted. However, this may not be true. We need to pay attention as to
how we are communicating with others; are we good listeners; are we bankable
employees; are we good employers etc – this awareness will lead to a better quality
of personal and professional life.

As mentioned earlier that although our inherent character traits are inbuilt but we
can develop them as effective interpersonal skills. They then need to be upgraded
and enhanced from time-to-time. Interpersonal skills can be developed by paying
attention to the following factors:

 Effective Communication
 Positive Body Language
 Effective Listening


 
 Congenial Environment
 Regular Participation
 Active Learning
 Keen Observing
 High level of Emotional Intelligence

However, it should be remembered that to develop the interpersonal skills, two


essential pre-requisites must be satisfied – 1. You must identify your need for
improvement either in particular areas or as a whole; and 2. You must keep an
open mind allowing yourself to embrace different possibilities, opportunities,
people, views, suggestions and interests.

You can maintain a journal by listing the skills which need improvement, what
steps you are taking to improve those skills and what impact these actions are
creating. You can record observations monthly and compare your performances
with earlier records. It is also a good idea to take feedback from others as to what
they feel about your interpersonal skills and whether any particular skills need
more refinement.

c. Leadership Skills

What or who is an actual leader? A leader is one who has a vision and set direction
and inspires and guides others to the right way. It is possible for anyone to be a
leader as leadership is based on the strengths and abilities individuals demonstrate.
These abilities are essentially known as leadership skills as they lead the way
toward achievement of goals. These leadership skills are to an extent in-built and
are of varying styles, but since there is no particular style of leadership which can
be considered the benchmark, it is clear that leadership skills can definitely be
acquired.

There are certain key skills a leader must display viz.:

 Leading by doing
 Strategic Thought process


 
 Compelling vision
 Decision making
 Problem solving
 Effective Communication
 Effective Listening
 Clarity in planning and course of action
 Project Management
 People management
 Change management
 Time management
 Delegation proficiency
 Persuasion abilities
 Talent to motivate self and others
 Managing Emotions of self and others
 Mind control

Out of various models of leadership proposed by researchers on leadership skills


and abilities, two models are most prominent.

a. Model of leadership skills proposed by Robert Katz in 1955 in the Harvard


Business Review, titled "Skills of an Effective Administrator”,

According to Robert Katz successful administration appears to rest on three basic


skills of an administrator – also named by him as ‘Three-skill approach’:

 Technical Skills – working with things


 Human Skills – working with people
 Conceptual Skills – working with ideas and concepts

His approach is based on performance exhibited in work rather than inborn


character traits. And in his paper ‘skill’, implies an ability which can be developed,
not necessarily inborn, and which is manifested in performance, not merely in
potential.

Based on his observations Katz’s Approach gives the following conclusion:

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i. effective administration depends on three set of skills - technical, human and
conceptual

ii. level of importance of each set of skills was directly correlated with the level
that the person has in the organization.

iii. the three-skill approach emphasizes that good administrators are not necessarily
born; they may be developed.

iv. this approach helps in identifying the skills most needed at various levels of
responsibility and so it may prove useful in the selection, training, and promotion
of executives.

b. Publication of Michael Mumford and colleagues in the year 2000 titled


“Development of leadership skills: Experience and timing"
(Mumford, Michael D.; Marks, Michelle A.; American Institutes for Research;
Zaccaro, Stephen J.; and Reiter-Palmon, Roni, "Development of leadership skills:
Experience and timing" (2000). Psychology Faculty Publications. 64.

Leadership cannot be viewed as a standalone object. The cornerstone of leadership


comprises multiple intelligences rather than being dominated by a single general
ability.

Leadership Styles and When to use them

Every leader may have the same target of goal attainment but their personal style
of functioning and attaining objective is different from person to person. No style
may be labeled as correct or incorrect and each may be suited to the requirement
the circumstances demand.

Daniel Goleman, author and science journalist describes six leadership styles in his
article published in the Harvard Business Review in 2000 as ‘Leadership that Gets
Results’. He identifies 6 leadership styles but cautions that ‘Don’t take a one-size-
fits all approach to leadership. Choose the style that maximizes your effectiveness
in a given situation.’ The leadership styles he mentions are as follows:

 Coercive, or commanding – ‘do as I say’


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 Pace-setting – ‘do as I do, right now’
 Authoritative – ‘come with me’
 Affiliative – ‘people come first’
 Democratic – ‘what do you think?’
 Coaching – ‘try it and see’

In his study he mentions that coercive leadership may be effective but it may
demotivate employees. The pace setting style of leadership may be very
motivating but it may be overbearing for employees. The Authoritative style may
not work effectively when the leader is working with specialists who are more
skilled than him/her. The affiliative style may help in effective team dynamics but
it may fail to call out the ineffective employees. The democratic style may seem
the best of all but sometimes it leads to more confusion than solutions. The
coaching style’s most important use is in personal development rather than job
fulfillment.

No style is best in all situations. All the styles need to be used as per the situation
and may be used interchangeably for best results.

d. Presentation Skills

Presentation skill is the most important skill that a person must have for optimum
growth. The presentation may be written or oral communication like power point
presentations, articles, speeches etc. and may even be body language or the clothes
you wear. Presentation maybe you and your work as an entire package.

The first most important thing to remember in any kind of presentation is to put
yourself in place of your audience (referring to people you are presenting to in
whichever way as employer, leader, subordinate, colleague or otherwise) – what
would you as an audience like to see, hear or read. Then explore what value
addition you are bringing to the table – are you putting forward something new and
innovative in what you are presenting or is it old wine in new bottle. Your
audience may come from different cultural and social backgrounds – are you being
neutral in your approach or is it becoming too centric on a particular thing.
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Happiness and positivity are global phenomenon and they sell – are you vibrant
and positive (even though you may be talking statistics and financial
performances) or are you dull and boring.

Be comfortable in your body. Stage fright or presenting in a boardroom full of the


top management is an unnerving task for many because in their innermost
existence they are not comfortable with themselves and have self-doubts.
Transcend your fear with this single minded thought – If you are really truly
passionate about ‘what you are doing’, ‘how you are doing’ it becomes immaterial
to the audience as they get hooked to your passion. So, if you focus on your work,
you won’t have to focus on results.

Practicing is the best way to improve. There is no replacement to practice – The


more you practice the better you become undoubtedly. Take the advice of people
who are probably in similar situations and are more experienced - Take their
criticism constructively. Maintain a record book and after every presentation - note
down pointers that you felt the audience liked and you may like to improvise and
use again. Also identify pointers which you feel need more refinement.

Your body language and voice play a more important role in a successful
presentation than the actual power point presentation you are showing your
audience. If you smile, make eye contact, are willing to listen to others and are not
flustered by rude interruptions – you have already won over your audience
irrespective of the actual information you are imparting.

While making power point presentations remember to keep it simple. Too lengthy
presentations with either too much text on one slide and inefficiently organized
information on the slide can lead to a feeling of boredom and confusion for the
audience. Be consistent in choice of bullets, fonts and text size. The purpose of the
presentation is to hold interest and focus attention on the information itself and not
puzzle the audience with over-the-top graphics. Clear and concise communication
is appreciated by everyone.

When speaking in front of a live audience – the most important requirement is to


connect with the audience. Focus on your audience’s need and not on your fear of
interaction with them. Forge a bond with your audience before you jump into your

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topic of discussion and put your point across. This can be done by telling stories,
narrating real life incidents or initiating an interactive dialogue with members of
the audience on a neutral aspect of the topic.

Whatever your mode of presentation may be – remember the mantra for success is
to just be yourself. If you just be yourself and not emulate others, you will present
your presentation in a relaxed and comfortable manner.

e. Liasoning and Negotiation Skills

Liasoning is defined by oxford dictionary as an activity of communication or


cooperation which facilitates a close working relationship between people or
organizations. When a number of people are involved in any aspect whether it is
personal or professional front – liasoning, negotiation and persuasion are a part and
parcel of people involvement. Even in your personal life you play the roles of
negotiator and perform various roles of persuasion, mediation, conflict resolution
etc. as the situation demands.

Negotiation skill is a part-and -parcel of interpersonal and leadership skill too.


Your ability to successfully negotiate empowers you to achieve mutually agreeable
solutions while paying attention to others needs and viewpoints.

Whether you are a parent, a stay-at-home spouse, an employer, an employee, a


facilitator or an active performer – everyone needs to improve their negotiation
skills to gain self-empowerment and live fruitfully and in communion with others.

How to be a successful Negotiator

Good liasoning and negotiation skills will empower you to develop personally and
grow your business. Negotiation fails if it based on the foundation of over
confidence or lack of confidence and disregard for other’s perspectives.

 Consider the point of view of all involved


 Evaluate your leverage and that of other parties involved
 Your groundwork should be done well in advance and methodically
 Be aware that you are prone to making mistakes and consider your recourse
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 Listen carefully
 Communicate effectively
 Evaluate your ‘BATNA’

BATNA is a term coined by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book,
‘Getting to Yes: Negotiating Without Giving In’. It stands for "Best Alternative To
A Negotiated Agreement”.The best alternative to a negotiated agreement or
BATNA is the most advantageous alternative course of action a party can take if
negotiations fail and an agreement cannot be reached.

f. Communication Skills

Communication is important and it is the bridge to your destination. If written


communication is faulty and lacking, the document becomes inadequate. Good
correspondence has two rules; promptness and precision. Come across as clear,
confident and concise. If verbal communication is ineffective you don’t put across
your ideas and views in the manner you had wanted to and thus lose out on a
potential opportunity or valuable relationship. If your communication is not
accompanied with the appropriate body language, you run the risk of an unsatisfied
or unconvinced audience. Not only is communication vital in professional life, but
it is provides the ‘fevicol’ for relationships in personal life too – it can make or
break them.

Therefore, the quantity, quality and style of communication are very important for
climbing the growth trajectory to success. It empowers you to put across your
viewpoint in an accurate manner.

Effective ways of communication

The below mentioned points are ways to improve and make your communication
effective.

 To be a successful communicator, you first have to be a good listener. Listen


carefully to what others have to say and listen even more carefully to what
they don’t say. If you listen to their silence and interpret it correctly, you
will communicate better.

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 Don’t give your audience information overload. Authors Chip Heath and
Dan Heath in their book “Made to Stick, Why Some Ideas Survive and
Others Die” have mentioned in their book a study which became famous as
“the tappers and the listeners”. In 1990, a Stanford University graduate
student in psychology named Elizabeth Newton illustrated the curse of
knowledge by studying a simple game in which she assigned people to one
of two roles: “tapper” or “listener.” Each tapper was asked to pick a well-
known song, such as “Happy Birthday,” and tap out the rhythm on a table.
The listener’s job was to guess the song. The tappers were able to guess the
songs better than the listeners. The study showed that the audience was able
to grasp the communication better by actual practice rather than over-
communication.
 Actions speak louder than words. Your body posture, eye contact and
gestures communicate more than your what you are actually saying. Focus
on your posture. You cannot come across as clear and confident by adopting
a sluggish posture while communicating
 Any audience whatever the age group has very limited attention span. Even
if the written or oral communication is a subject of interest, the attention
span will dwindle away if the communication does not connect with them
fast enough. For example – when you watch a movie, within the first half an
hour (or even lesser) you have decided whether you would like to watch the
rest of it; similarly when you read a book, you read the first few pages and
put it away if these pages have not captured your attention; when you attend
a seminar, the communicative ability of the speaker determine whether you
will sit through the presentation or not irrespective of the topic being
discussed. Therefore, to grasp the attention span of the audience, make your
communication interactive. Let them participate and feel involved. Stimulate
your audience in whichever way you are communicating and they will love
to listen to you. If it is non verbal communication, the beginning and end of
your document etc. should be catchy bearing key points which hold a brief
vision of the magic which is yet to come – this will capture the imagination
of your audience.
 Natural Communication is more genuine and easier to relate to. Whatever
form of verbal communication you need to adopt, remember it is better to

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have your key points on paper, but your communication will turn boring and
unconvincing if you memorize each and every word and vomit it out without
any facial expressions and audience connect. Even reading directly from the
paper will ensure that your audience doesn’t want to listen to you. If you
practice, take honest feedback and listen to constructive criticism – you will
definitely become a good natural communicator.
 If you are communicating with an audience coming from different cultural
backgrounds, it’s a good idea to explore and understand the different
cultures and languages of the people which will comprise your
audiencebefore you intend to communicate with them.

A very important aspect of communication is “Silence”. When to remain silent and


when to speak is the core element of communication. It can help you to say a lot
without actually saying anything. Pauses in your communication while speaking
with your audience give them a moment to reflect. These pauses also give the
speaker a moment to gather his/her thoughts. A short silence in a heated argument
gives each party the time to figure out their mistakes. Similarly, when coaching or
imparting training, the trainer can ensure better outcome and absorption of his
teaching with the trainee, if he gives breaks in his communication and gives the
trainee pauses of time to soak in the information he/she is imparting.

You need to inculcate patience within yourself if you want to use silence as an
effective tool within your communication. Used well, the tool of ‘silence’ can help
you connect with the audience and at the same time have a lasting impact on them.

g. Perseverance Skills

Skill is the ability to do something well; and if you treat perseverance like an
inherent skill and hone this skill by continuous rigorous practice you will realize
that there is nothing in this world you can’t achieve.

It isn’t easy: but it has to be done. The only way to get over with it is to go through
it: face it headlong. That in a nutshell is perseverance – the persistence in doing
something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.

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The formula for success is:

Definite Goal + Definite Plan to achieved the desired goal + Hard work, Hard
Work, Hard work every single day = Sure Shot Success.

There are many great men and women in history who have achieved their success
through determined insistence – Thomas Edison’s perseverance is legendary and
he famously said genius is “1% inspiration and 99% perspiration”; Henry Ford;
J.K Rowling; Walt Disney; Brazilian retired professional footballer Edson Arantes
do Nascimento, known as Pelé; Venus and Serena Williams; the list is endless. The
only way to your goal is to keep moving forward. Keep at it all the time. Persist,
persist, persist; no matter how slow you are and how far the goal seems.

The more you work, struggle and do whatever it takes to reach closer to your goal,
you will observe that the worst is over and somehow things are getting better and
better. Remember your goal and your well defined plan to achieve your goal, just
focus on it; it will give you the strength to keep moving forward.

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is
more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded
genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated
derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘press
on’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.” - Calvin
Coolidge. So, every time you feel like throwing in the towel, remember this
famous quote of John Calvin Coolidge Jr., the 30th President of the United States
of America and a Republican lawyer from New England he had a quiet but
methodical climb up the political ladder.

Success and riches are not for the weak. You have to be made of strong metal to
survive all odds and march on. Patiently persist. Don’t lose your enthusiasm when
you suffer setbacks on your road to success. They are mere stumbling blocks.
Gather your determination and tenaciousness and with single-minded strength of
purpose forge ahead. The harder you work, the closer your goal will seem. To
reach the pinnacle of success you have to climb the small little steps on the
staircase which will take you there.

Practice these principles of perseverance:

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 Giving Up is NOT an option.
 Work Slowly but Steadily
 Motivate Yourself everyday
 Don’t indulge in Self-Pity. It will destroy you
 Don’t compare your life with others
 You are not the only one. Almost everyone has not had an easy journey
 Discipline your life
 Believe in Yourself
 Focus on your Goal
 Success doesn’t happen overnight. Remember ‘Rome was not built in a day’

Your subconscious mind listens to you. Motivate yourself to overcome temporary


failures. Listen to inspirational talks, read self-help books, stay in the company of
optimistic people and summon up that strength to surge through another day to
keep moving towards your goal. Quit quitting because there is always a silver
lining at the end of every cloud. You may have achieved a setback today but you
are learning which means you are not stagnant. It is important to grow and growth
encompasses good and bad both.

Through perseverance develop your resilience. The ability of a substance or object


to spring back into shape is called resilience. Some people get punched and
knocked down by life time and again, and each time they bounce back stronger.
Instead of letting miserable situations break their determination they face their
demons head on.

If you get punched down by failure and bounce back up, you have the strength of
perseverance, resilience, grit, determination. These are not just strong words, but
words which can make you learn, adjust and actually return better than before.

Imagine yourself in ten years’ time. What would you like to look back upon? What
would you like to achieve in 10 years from now? Now remind yourself that your
tough circumstances are just an obstacle between your ‘Now’ and your ‘Future’
which you can visualize ten years from now.

SELF IMAGE

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Self Image of our self, impacts many aspects of our lives. Our self-image in our
own eyes is the most important determinant of success. If an individual
himself/herself has self-doubt of his/her ability and is skeptical of achievement of
goals – it is impossible that success is ever attained by him/her.

Therefore, our self-image impacts our life in a big way – it builds confidence and
helps us to accept our strengths and weaknesses. Achievement becomes easier with
the starting point of a clear and confident self-image.

Your identity is the fact of being who you are, your beliefs, your likes, your
dislikes, your perceptions, your character. Your identity is central to you and
controls your growth, if you waver and question your identity, then the growth
trajectory also falters. The Japanese concept of “Ikigai” which means "a reason for
being” or “the reason for living” is a cornerstone of Japanese culture wherein it is
important to find your Ikigai, because discovering it brings satisfaction and
meaning to life. Your Ikigai is the source of value in your life and it makes your
life worthwhile. Your current situation may be good or bad but your Ikigai gives
you inner strength and makes you feel that your life is valuable.

The true reason for being, the fact of being who you are – is the nucleus of your
existence. A useful technique called “SWOT Analysis” is employed by businesses
to identify its internal strengths and weakesses, as well as its external opportunities
and threats. SWOT analysis is an acronym for Strengths, Weaknesses,
Opportunities, Threats and it is a structured planning method that evaluates those
four elements of an organization, project or business venture. Performing a SWOT
Analysis of yourself will offer you a detailed personal scrutiny of your capabilities
and surrounding environment and help you to connect with yourself. Strengths and
Weaknesses are intrinsic factors and will depict the strengths and weaknesses of
your character. Opportunities and Threats are extrinsic factors and will depict the
opportunities and threats which you perceive from your external environment. This
analysis will give you a complete picture of yourself if performed truthfully. Every
man knows his strengths and weaknesses and should have the courage to truthfully
state them to himself, for if he cannot be true to himself, he can most definitely not
be true to the outside world. Opportunities and threats exist in your surroundings
and are created by the life you live. But remember there are no fixed rules as to a

20 
 
person’s perception. So what one individual may consider as strength, another
individual may perceive as a weakness. That is a matter of individual opinion and
may be used likewise.

Be true to yourself when you perform your SWOT Analysis and you can apply the
results of this powerful tool to capitalize on your strengths and minimize your
weaknesses so as to grab the opportunities and work around the threats.

When you develop your identity, you resolve internal crisis and help yourself to
prepare for the future. Focus on your adaptive and creative characteristics to
develop your personality and unite with your inner self.

Market yourself well. How you perceive yourself to the outside world will
determine how people perceive you, your idea, your belief in your idea and the
success of it. Your first impression will make a lasting impression. To be
successful and strike gold you have to market your idea, your dream, your
unwavering confidence in your goal, your personal services.

When you are sure of yourself you market yourself well. You assume full
responsibility for mistakes, shortcomings, decisions, achievements and conduct.
When you assume full responsibility, the battle is already half won. Responsibility
brings with it, authority and accountability. You will exercise authority over your
methods and will stretch your limits if your goal is as important to you as life itself.
By becoming accountable to yourself you will perform differently as you will have
the extra pressure of not failing in your own eyes.

With the advent of internet, the world has become a small marketplace. You can
directly approach a future prospective customer or employer etc. without having to
go through various channels of communication. If you can sell yourself well you
will go a step closer to achieving your goal.

Write out your resume showing the confidence you have in yourself. Present
yourself skillfully and display your abilities to the fullest so that you become the
natural choice for the position. A dish has to look attractive and palatable for it to
be eaten; because even before we eat it the desire to eat it is aroused in us only if it
is presented wonderfully.

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When you approach your prospective employer or potential client treat it as the
make or break opportunity you have been waiting for. Put your whole energy and
passion into making that single opportunity as the opportunity of a lifetime. When
you approach it as the single most important event of your life – you will perform
the task vehemently.

Don’t sell to everyone. Connect with your goal – who do you want to reach out to?
What path do you want to tread to reach your goal? – these questions need to be
answered before you execute a planned strategy to market yourself as an expert in
your expertise to the people you need to reach out to. Trying to please everyone
will end you up with pleasing no one.

Don’t compete with anyone; compete with yourself. Remember that your
competitor may have a different set of goals and may be working to achieve his
own dream. So, don’t entangle your dream with someone else’s. Maintain your
focus. Train your mind to stick to your goal. Execute your own personal touch and
market yourself well.

STRESS MANAGEMENT

‘Stress - the new killer’ is here to stay. It’s a part and parcel of what we do. It was
always present even in earlier times, but probably didn’t get as much respect as it
gets now. Stress is the body’s response mechanism against situations. So, when the
body senses an uncomfortable situation it automatically kick-starts a “fight-or-
flight” reaction to protect itself. Walter Bradford Cannon, a physiologist and
professor coined the term ‘fight or flight response’, and described it to mean a
physiological re

action that occurs in response to a perceived harmful event, attack, or threat to


survival.

Stress can strike anywhere and anytime - before an important Board meeting, an
approaching deadline, a job interview, your child’s board exam, a surgical
operation of a loved one etc. The cause may be as trivial as the impending weather
conditions. Some people may even get stress just by the ringing of their phone,
even without having seen whose call it is or without even having picked up the

22 
 
call. It may be caused due to circumstances which are totally outside of human
control and thereby imminent – however despite that knowledge, when you
continue thinking of the circumstance, it completely stresses you out.In fact stress
is so bizarre that even happiness can cause stress – like marriage, pregnancy, start
of a new job etc.

Stress need not always be harmful though. It motivates you and helps you to
perform better. Stress to complete a project may actually motivate you to do a
better job. Similarly stress before a presentation may result in excellent preparation
and practice which in turn may turn out an exemplary performance from your side.

However, too much of Stress – turns it into a disease. It can create negativity and
generate inappropriate behavior which can cause immense loss in both personal
and professional life. Therefore if you learn to manage your stress, you can take
total control of your emotions, responses and mindset and truly empower yourself
to take control of your life.

Symptoms and Consequences of stress

 Complete Exhaustion or Burnout


 Inability to sleep or Insomnia
 Anxiety or extreme nervousness
 Headache
 Stomach aches
 Heart palpitations
 Hair loss
 Irritability
 Mood swings
 Low self esteem
 Low energy
 Contracting infections
 Increase in sweet intake
 Eating disorder
 Avoiding people

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 Indecisiveness
 Inability to Focus
 Increased intoxication

How to deal with stress

When there is ‘low battery’ you need ‘power bank’ – similarly when your body
experiences stress it needs stress busters to cope. There may be many ways to deal
with stress, and as the causes of stress may be different for different people, the
consequences of stress and solutions to manage it may also differ from person to
person.

Some methods you can use to deal with stress may be:

 Acceptance – Accept what is being offered to you by life. Stop doubting and
start accepting. If you believe that there is a universal energy over which
there is no human control, it will help you to accept everything as positive.
Even the most unspeakable negative situation can be dealt with acceptance –
‘what is…IS…it cannot be changed. Focus your positive energies on things
you can change to decrease the negative situation if not eliminate it
 Imagine – Imagination plays a big role in helping you to create positive
pictures in your mind and relieves you of stress. Visualization involves the
systematic practice of creating a detailed mental image of an attractive and
peaceful setting or environment which serve as an element of distraction
from stress
 Laughter – Laughter is the best medicine. Robert Holden, British
psychotherapist and stress consultant who is considered ‘Britain's foremost
expert on happiness’ has said that ‘laughter can be a great workout for your
diaphragm, abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg and back muscles. It also
benefits digestion and absorption functioning.’ Norman Cousins, political
journalist and author, professor in his 1979 book ‘Anatomy of an Illness as
Perceived by the Patient: Reflections on Healingand Regeneration’
suggested that laughter and positive emotions have healing power. He
recovered from a fatal illness ‘ankylosing spondylitis’ and he claimed that
10 minutes of hearty laughter would give him two hours of pain-free sleep.
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 Connect with nature – Nature calms. It is said that the cure for every
problem is found in nature itself. Since the first human civilization on earth,
records show that a universal power has created a self
rejuvenatingmechanism whereby every requirement needed by man to
naturally heal is existing in the environment around him.Nature has healing
powers. It has been proven that we are unusually different when we are in
the midst of nature - it makes us healthier, happier, calmer and smarter.
 Don’t Exaggerate with Internal Dialogue – Before something actually
happens, we make it happen over and over again in our own mind through
our internal dialogue. By the time the thing actually happens we have
stressed our self out just by communicating about it internally in our mind.
Stop this internal dialogue – if your board exam is on a particular date it is
going to happen on that date, no point internally discussing about this board
exam with your internal self months before the actually date. – its not
achieving anything.
 Rest – Rest and sleep are very important to overcome stress, and they are the
most difficult to attain as stress permeates all your senses. Just before you hit
the sack, create a picture of something you are really very fond of in your
mind. For example if you like cake – imagine a delicious chocolate cake. If
you are fond of travel – imagine yourself in Paris admiring the Eiffel Tower.
Let your last thought be a happy thought before you sleep and you are bound
to get a sound sleep.
 Relaxation techniques – practice relaxation techniques like Meditation and
Yoga
 Diet – eat healthy and balanced meals. Stay away from junk food and
unhealthy snacking
 Exercise - Exercise releases endorphins that make you feel good
 Activity/Hobby – get involved in an activity which ensures your complete
involvement. Spend time on your hobby so that it livens you and relieves
stress
 Music – Listening to music has always been termed a stress buster
 Express your feelings – If you aren’t comfortable sharing your feelings with
others, then maintain a diary
 Interact with friends

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 Keep away from technology
 Seek Professional help

Whatever your stress (it could range from something drastic as the death of a loved
one to something as moderate as loss of a lifetime opportunity) and whatever your
method you chose to adopt to deal with your stress, there could be one ‘root-
mantra’ you could consider keeping in mind which will most assuredly assist you
in eliminating stress out of your mind. That ‘root-mantra’ is - “the fact that you are
alive and in a stressful situation is a blessing – dead people are not stressed; so be
thankful for being alive and solve every situation without a feeling of gloom. If it
goes your way – it is good; If it doesn’t go your way – it is probably good which
you cannot see as of now and time will reveal sooner or later.”

“Everything is going to be right at the end. If it's not right, then it is not the end.”
- A Quote made famous by the 2011 movie ‘The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel’

TIME MANAGEMENT

If the Egyptians had known when they invented the 24 hour day that the future
generations will use it as an excuse for not getting things done in time, I’m sure
they would have added a couple of hours more to the day. However, we would
have found excuses of shortage of time in that scenario as well! Without realizing
we have mastered the art of ‘blaming time’ as a culprit for everything that goes
wrong in our life.

Now approach the 24 hour day with the attitude that you have 86400 seconds in a
day! Now that’s a lot of time.

The reason a 24 hour day seems short is because when we prioritize our jobs, we
take it as an excuse for never completing the ones on low priority. We all have
things we don’t want to do, but we have to do them anyway. However in life you
cannot chose the enjoyable parts and leave out the unpleasant parts of a task. You
have to do the entire job. That’s the only way to reach your goal. The sense of
accomplishment you will feel at the end of the most hard, boring and complicated
task is immeasurable.

26 
 
There is a methodological way of increasing the hours in the day. For having more
than 24 hours a day, improve your time management skills.

Ways to improve your time management skill

 The first stage of improving your time management skill is to list absolutely
everything that you have to do. This may sound obvious, but speaking from
experience, most people tend to leave important tasks until the last minute,
which can impact on the quality of their work and their overall grade.
 Prioritizing’ the work is important .This can be done by making 2 lists viz.
Priority List and Delegation List.
Priority List - Make a list of the important work which needs to get done in
descending order of priority – very high priority jobs moving down to the
lowest priority job.
Delegation List – Then study the Priority List you have made from bottom to
top and decide which of the least priority jobs can be delegated and which
have to be done personally by you. Make a Delegation list through which
you delegate the jobs which do not require your personal attention. This will
help you to focus your energies on the vital tasks and complete your tasks in
time.
 Think about when you are most alert, so that you can plan your most
important work to be completed around these times.
 Make sure that you get enough sleep. Most people need between 7 to 8 hours
sleep every night to remain focused and alert.
 Be flexible and realistic
 Avoid procrastination and distraction
 Motivate Yourself
 Take out time for relaxation and entertainment as that will increase your
productivity

BULLET PROOF MIND

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The single most important factor which directly determines your position in life is
your own mind. The ‘Placebo Effect’ is a proven fact that some patients' health
improves after taking what they believe is an effective drug but which is in fact
only a placebo (a substance or treatment of no intended therapeutic value).
Therefore, a person can recover from illness just by his own mind only thinking
that he is being treated.

Your achievement is a consequence of how your mind thinks.

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is an approach to communication used for


both personal and professional development. It was created by American authors
Richard Bandler and John Grinder in California, United States in the 1970s.NLP
works from the starting point that you may not control much in your life, but that
you can always take control of what goes on in your head.

A ‘Thought’ is the Alpha and Omega of success. Buddha said ‘what you think, you
become’. Accomplishment of your goal has already started when the seed was
sown in your brain as a thought. To be successful, you have to first train your
mind. You must master your mind and have dominance over your thought.

Imagine wealth, victory, success – and you will achieve it. You want success and
the universe will serve it to you if you can control your thought process. A human
mind is a reservoir of power: It can conjure up zillion thoughts. The art is in taking
that one thought which you believe in, and turning it into reality.

Fill your mind with positive thoughts. Let there be no place for negativity, gossip,
worry and criticism. You will destroy the beautiful seed of pure thought even
before it germinates. Water your thought, nurture it and let it grow into
unimaginable wealth and success. Every individual is his own person. He alone
knows what motivates him and drives him to achieve. With his personal
experiences and emotions he alone can work on his impulse to make it a reality.
Don’t poison that beautiful ability by clouding it with negative thoughts.

Negative thoughts are like toxins for the mind. They annihilate the vast universe of
the thought and reduce it to rubble. Add to it the venom of gossip and you have the
perfect recipe for disaster.

28 
 
The only way to control your mind and nurture your ‘positive thought which is
your goal’ to scale great heights is to live in the NOW. There is no past and no
future. Your present moment is the only truth and that is all that exists. Just focus
on the immediate present moment which is here and now and you will make
yourself powerful enough to control your mind.

Just like the water takes the shape of the vessel it is poured into, let your thought
also blend into the current moment. Let it not focus on what has passed and what
will present itself in the future. Be aware and chalk out a planned action strategy to
achieve your goal, but while on the path of achievement don’t let your thoughts
sway. Train them to remain focused on the goal.

Blinkers, sometimes known as blinders, are a piece of equestrian equipment that


are placed on either side of a horse's head next to its eyes in order to keep the horse
from seeing what is beside it and to the rear and, in some cases, to the side. The
blinkers partly cover a horse’s eyes so that it can only look straight ahead. If we
put imaginary blinkers covering our eyes, we will condition it to look only straight
ahead and not get distracted.

We tend to get easily influenced by the achievements, success and materialistic


possessions of the people around us. Instead of making the most of what we have
and counting our blessings we tend to count our shortcomings instead.

Let the mind be a storehouse of pure positive thoughts. There should be no room
for self-doubt. Bury your negative thoughts and just like you do spring cleaning of
your house, do mind cleaning 3 times a day. Flush out the negative thoughts before
they permeate you.

Let no one and nothing deviate your focus from your goals and shake your
confidence. One sure shot way to achieve a bulletproof mind is to declare your
goals each day to yourself by jotting them down in a diary. This keeps you focused
and on the right path without distractions and digression.

OUT-OF-THE-BOX THINKING

29 
 
Think laterally. When you observe something try not to see what everyone sees.
Make it a habit to observe things innovatively. Slowly you will realize that you
have started thinking ‘out-of-the-box”. ‘Out-of-the-box’ thinking refers to a way of
looking at things unconventionally from new perspective.

There may be many professionals with the same qualifications. There may be
many businessmen with business acumen. There may be many artisans with the
same expertise. There may be many people with the same skill-set. But what sets
apart one individual from another is their ‘creative thinking’ on handling
situations.

Ways to cultivate ‘out-of-the-box’ thinking:

 Take out some ‘Me-Time’ for yourself and just be with ‘YOU’ only and
then try to observe the situation you are trying to tackle.
 Do something which you love like early morning walks, going for a solo
holiday, visiting old friends etc. These activities which relax you and make
you happy will enable you to think intently about your idea from a new
perspective and silently brainstorm within yourself
 Avoid saying negative things to yourself that limit your thoughts and always
give you a dead end. "This will not work," "I don’t think I have ever done it
that way before," "I can't solve this problem," "There is not enough time” –
these kind of phrases you repeat to yourself will hamper your creativity and
nip your enthusiasm to ‘think differently’ in the bud.
 Broaden your perspective. Learn new things. Meet new people. Don’t follow
set routines every day. This widens your horizon and gives your mind the
ability to think differently. Even in something small like driving to work
each day, try not to follow a set route, but explore new roads so that it
awakens you to something you had not observed before.
 Identify your ‘X-Factor’. When you identify your X-factor, you will observe
things from your own unique angle and will be willing to go beyond set
boundaries.
X-Factor is that noteworthy special talent or qualities that makes you unique
and stand out from others. If you go for your dream job and there are other
30 
 
contenders for the job apart from you with the exactly same qualifications –
then why should you be given the job in preference over them. What is that
uniqueness in you which gives you an edge over others or makes you stand
out?
Your X-factor differentiates you from others. Identify it and enhance it.
There are many successful men who have achieved what they wanted and
have become sources of inspiration for others. It may be their intelligence,
hard work, persistence, resilience or charisma which may have made them
so endearing to others – but the most important quality in every successful
man is his ‘X-factor’ which is difficult to duplicate. You may acquire the
same qualifications and expertise as someone else but you cannot photocopy
his ‘X-Factor’; that belongs to him alone.

SELF-PRESERVATION

The idea of self-preservation or protection of oneself from harm is a basic instinct


in humans. Nutrition, healthy food, exercise, mental health, social activities all go
hand-in-hand in improving our quality of life. All these factors which help in self
preservation should be taken seriously as without having a healthy and well
functioning body, all other qualities are of no use and will not empower us.

Eating Right

Eating right has become a mantra in today’s polluted and adultered times. Every
person is becoming more conscious of the substances he/she is putting into their
body. A balanced diet comprising foods that contain vitamins and minerals,
proteins, carbohydrates and right amount of fats are the way to a healthy life.

If you have health problems which are lifestyle diseases – blood pressure,
cholesterol, obesity etc - you can improve your condition with better nutrition.

It is hard to make a radical overnight change in your diet and eating habits. But if
you consciously make small changes, you will eventually reach an overall healthy

31 
 
diet. Find the strong and weak points in your current diet and start from there. See
what you can immediately change, and what needs to be handled slowly. Consult a
dietician for best results and healthy way of eating. Keep track of your food intake
by writing down what you eat and drink every day. This record will help you
assess your diet. Try baking or grilling your food instead of frying it, so as to
reduce fat intake. Don’t eat in large portions.

There is innumerable literature on the types of super foods you should include in
your diet. Try to read up as much as it interests you. However, even if you have no
knowledge of what foods should be consumed for healthy living, remember one
thing which can never ever go wrong – “Eat natural. Avoid anything which comes
in a packet”. Limit your intake of sweets and calorie high food. Eat nuts when
hungry between meal times instead of snacks which come in packets. Small
changes can go a long way. If you truly want to remain young, energetic and keep
your body in good health – you can make small lifestyle changes in your everyday
life. Carry nuts and salted natural seeds which can be used as a quick snack when
hungry instead of ordering a ‘samosa’ from the vendor close to your office.

It is rightly said that ‘Health is wealth’. You will not even be able to read what you
are reading right now if you have an excruciating stomach ache. Even a small
imbalance in your body can turn your entire day upside down. Eat right. Live
Right. This will empower you to take control of yourself and perform to your super
best capability, as only when you feel great, you work great.

Exercise

Exercise benefits all parts of your body – skin, muscles, brain, heart, body weight
and also prevents us from chronic diseases. With so many benefits to boost,
everyone must obviously be exercising. But that is not so. We want to attain self-
empowerment by developing skills and goal attainment but how will we have a
body which is working in tandem with our goals and attainment of success. There
can be no way in which we can transform our external life without first feeling
totally fit, energetic and vibrant in our internal self.

There is strong scientific evidence to prove that whatever your age may be, being
physically active can help you lead a healthier and happier life.

32 
 
As reported on the online news section of Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public
Health, I-Min Lee, professor in the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health
Department of Epidemiology and professor of medicine at Harvard Medical
School, and Hans-OlovAdami, adjunct professor of epidemiology at Harvard
Chan, were co-authors of “Leisure time physical activity and mortality: a detailed
pooled analysis of the dose-response relationship” - a study, conducted with the
National Cancer Institute and other institutions. After pooling data on exercise
habits of over 661,000 adults, they found non-exercisers to be at highest risk of
early death, while those who did any leisure-time physical activity, even if less than
currently recommended, had a 20% lower mortality rate than did non-exercisers
during an average follow-up of 14 years. Those who followed the currently
recommended 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise each week had 31% less
risk of dying during follow-up compared with non-exercisers.The authors found
those who tripled the recommended level of exercise — working out moderately,
mostly by walking, for 450 minutes weekly, or about an hour each day—were 39%
less likely to die prematurely than those who never exercised, according to a story
in the New York Times. And, the benefit flattened out at this level—those who did
even more exercise did not experience additional reductions in mortality rate.

Meditation

Meditation is an art which makes you aware of yourself. It identifies “You” to


“Yourself”. As you meditate, you become more aware of each breath you take.
Through Meditation you can identify your energies and then harness them to
attract good fortune. To perform meditation and achieve its benefits it is always
advisable to get in touch with a certified Yoga and Meditation practitioner. If you
have never meditated before, follow these simple steps to make a beginning.

1. Wake up early at a time when there is absolute silence for you to meditate.
For meditation to be most effective (especially for a beginner) it is
imperative that there is silence around you.
2. If you are comfortable indoors - Find a quiet corner at your home to perform
Meditation. Otherwise go to the neighborhood park or other serene and
peaceful area in your vicinity where you will not be disturbed.
3. Close your eyes and sit with your legs loosely crossed and both feet resting
below the opposite thigh or knee. However, if this sitting position is
33 
 
uncomfortable for you, adopt the position that works for you. The idea is to
be comfortable and totally at ease so that you are not distracted.
4. Keep your spine straight and rest your hands in your lap. It is important for
the hands to be at rest so that the mind can focus within.
5. Shut out all thoughts and just focus on your breath. As you breathe in and
out focus on each breath. This may be difficult at first but with continued
practice every day you will master the art.

Social Activities

Man is a social animal. Healthy relationships are the fundamentals of good health
and well being in turn determining personal and professional success. When you
forge strong relationships with others you will generate a sense of camaraderie.
Declare your goals and aspirations with supporters and people you trust which will
in turn move you one step closer to achieving them.

The secret of happiness is being part of a community – a part of a whole. It gives


you a sense of belonging and the willingness to achieve. There is a certain feeling
of contentment or security which comes with kinship. Unification can come about
in innumerable ways knowingly or unknowingly – you forge strong friendships in
school and college; you strengthen relationships with relatives and loved ones; you
bond with your neighbors; you mingle with associates and colleagues to get to
know them better; you enjoy and party with friends; you join business groups with
likeminded people to connect and form a network; you join the gym, hobby classes
etc. to interact. Whatever the medium you adopt the purpose is to unify with
others.

Over recent years, the concept “hygge” has become a defining characteristic of
Danish culture. It is a sentiment or emotion which encompasses a feeling of cozy
contentment and well-being through enjoying the simple things in life. Hygge is
considered "a defining feature of our cultural identity and an integral part of the
national DNA," according to Meik Wiking, the CEO of the Happiness Research
Institute in Copenhagen. Denmark was ranked first among 156 countries in the
World Happiness Report 2016 (The World Happiness Report is a measure of
happiness published by the United Nations Sustainable Development Solutions

34 
 
Network). When asked to rate their happiness levels on a range of things, the
Danish have listed - Hygge: a special way of being together in a relaxed
atmosphere – as one of the reasons for their happiness.

Of the top ten countries in the 2017 World Happiness Report, Norway is in first
place and close behind is Denmark, Iceland and Switzerland, Finland, the
Netherlands, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, and Sweden. Most of these
countries have some distinctive concept of happiness like the Danish ‘Hygge’.
Notions similar to ‘hygge’ like ‘lykke’ (Danish); ‘logam’ (Swedish); ‘raison
d’etre’ (French equivalent); etc. all have one thing in common – they are not
individualistic concepts and generally engage the involvement of many people.
Remember that you are living in a world of people and unless you do not connect
with them you cannot experience their pulse. Bonding with others is something so
basic which fills us with optimism but we tend to overlook it in our daily life. Life
is a network of people, no matter whichever field you are in. You cannot be an
achiever in isolation. To be super successful, earn lots of wealth, make it big –
connect; network and unify.

Although each of us has different skills, understandings and interests, we can


become more conscious of our own thoughts and feelings when we integrate with
our surroundings. You can follow some of these ways to integrate with your
surroundings:

 Stop to greet neighbors and try to make the newcomers in your locality feel
comfortable by your friendly behavior
 Join your favorite hobby class in your area
 Start a book club and encourage people of your locality to join in
 Volunteer for community work. Be a part of your local resident welfare
association
 Form an exercise club or morning walk or joggers club with people who you
meet at the time of your daily exercise regimen
 If you are an employer, start a new informal interaction club within your
organization allocating just 2 hours at the end of the week for employees to
interact
 Join a business group to network formally or informally with others
 Learn a new activity or language. Acquire a new qualification
35 
 
FINANCIAL FREEDOM

Robert Frost, an American poet aptly said “A bank is a place where they lend you
an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.”

That sums up financial freedom in a nutshell. You are rich but don’t have freedom
to use that money. You are rich but don’t have freedom to earn that money. You
are rich but don’t have freedom to have alternative sources of income. You are rich
but don’t have freedom to lend that money to friend in times of need. All these are
cases of absence of financial freedom.

Financial freedom would mean the luxury of not having to be anxious about
money. It would mean a scenario in which money would not be the governing
factor when making personal and professional decisions in life.

The first step towards attaining financial freedom is to create a ‘Financial Freedom
Fund’.

Build an alternative fund other than your savings purely for utilization for that
‘One’ passion in your life which you aspire for but always ignore due to shortage
of funds or guilt of spending. It will motivate you to work hard and achieve. You
will want to push yourself everyday just so that you can make a small contribution
to your ‘financial freedom fund’. But a word of caution – Always contribute to the
fund only AFTER you have set aside the amounts you hoard every month as your
savings. Otherwise you would have not only misunderstood the spirit behind the
financial freedom fund but also put yourself in a difficult monetary situation.

Eventually, when you feel the time is right, dig into that fund guilt-free and spend
it on the ‘reason’ you created it for. If your passion is travelling – grab your time
and utilize your fund on that adventurous river rafting trip you always dreamed
about but were always cash-strapped to undertake. If your passion is shopping – go
splurge your fund on that Dolce & Gabbana designer dress you always pined for.

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Another word of caution – Always remember that the Financial Freedom Fund
HAS to be utilized for the reason for which it was created. It is not to be built and
then added into savings or spent on things it was not created for in the first place.

Always remember – Financial Freedom is more important than wealth.

MULTIPLE INTELLIGENCES

If you have skills and knowledge, they are useless unless they can be applied
appropriately as and when required. That ability to be able to acquire the right
amount of knowledge and then apply it accordingly as the situation demands is
known as intelligence. Multiple intelligences are needed to become a leader and
attain success in any field— cognitive, spiritual, moral, behavioral, and emotional.

The theory of Multiple Intelligences was propounded by American developmental


psychologist Howard Earl Gardner, Ph.D., Professor of Education at Harvard
University in 1983. According to his theory a‘one-size-fits-all approach’ is not
feasible and humans have several different ways of processing information, and
these ways are relatively independent of one another.

In his book “Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences,” Mr.


Gardner’s theory was that there are multiple types of human intelligence, each
representing different ways of processing information. Earlier identified as six,
today there are nine types of multiple intelligences as listed by him.

Gardner’s Multiple Intelligences:

1. Verbal-linguistic intelligence (Focus area: reading-writing)

2. Logical-mathematical intelligence (Focus area: reasoning-numbers)

3. Spatial-visual intelligence (Focus area: images-pictures)

4. Bodily-kinesthetic intelligence (Focus area: body movements)

5. Musical intelligences (Focus area: rhythm)

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6. Interpersonal intelligence (Focus area: other people)

7. Intrapersonal (Focus area: self-aware)

8. Naturalist intelligence (Focus area: nature)

9. Existential intelligence (Focus area: deep understanding of life)

People have different strengths and intelligences and they succeed in particular
fields as per the strong intelligence they have in that field. Additionally, a strength
or weakness in a particular intelligence does not imply strength or weakness in
another. For example – a person is good at mathematics because of he/she has
strong ‘Logical-mathematical intelligence’. However, ‘multiple intelligences’ as
proposed by Gardner is not synonymous with the concept of ‘learning styles’ and
‘senses.’

Accordingly, as a person requires multiple skills to achieve success, similarly


he/she requires multiple intelligences for success. Some of the common quotients
used are mentioned below.

Intelligence Quotient (IQ)

Intelligence Quotient signifies a number representing a person's cognitive abilities


(measured using problem-solving tests) as compared to the statistical norm or
average for their age, taken as 100. Standardized tests are used for this
measurement.

The term ‘Intelligence Quotient’ (IQ) was coined by William Stern, a German
psychologist and philosopher noted as a pioneer in the field of the psychology of
personality and intelligence.

When the term IQ was put forward byWilliam Stern in 1912, a number of
intelligence tests were developed in Europe and America to offer ways to measure
a person’s cognitive ability. One of the most oldest and famous way of measuring
IQ is the‘Stanford-Binet test’ which measuresintelligence through five factors of
cognitive ability - fluid reasoning, knowledge, quantitative reasoning, visual-
spatial processing and working memory. Each of the five factors is given a weight
38 
 
and the combined score is often reduced to a ratio known commonly as the
intelligence quotient, or IQ.

The question whether a person’s IQ score is a somewhat accurate representation of


his intelligence, is a topic of debate. As mentioned earlier, some psychologists
believe in the concept of multiple intelligences rather than a single intelligence
concept as a reflector of one’s abilities.

Spiritual Quotient (SQ)

Spiritual intelligence is a term used by philosophers, psychologists, and


developmental theorists to indicate spiritual parallels with IQ (Intelligence
Quotient) and EQ (Emotional Quotient).

The term Spiritual Quotient (SQ) was coined by Danah Zohar, a physicist and
philosopherintroduced the idea in 1997 in her book ‘ReWiring the Corporate
Brain’.Danah Zohar believes that SQ is uniquely human and, the most fundamental
intelligence. SQ is what we use to develop our longing and capacity for meaning,
vision and value. It allows us to dream and to strive. It underlies the things we
believe in, and the role our beliefs and values play in the actions that we take and
the way we shape our livesas stated in the back cover of her book Spiritual
Intelligence: The Ultimate Intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence means the ability of a person to manage his own emotions
and the emotions of others. Therefore there may be people who may not be in the
top performers and top scorers, but end up becoming super success stories in life –
they have always been able to conduct themselves well, display extreme coolness
and grace in stressful and turbulent times; they are empathetic to others need and
display foresight and understanding when in uncomfortable situations – these kind
of people may not have high Intelligence Quotient (IQ) but they may most
certainly have a high level ofEmotional Quotient (EQ).

Emotional Intelligence is a term coined by Peter Salavoy and John Mayer in 1990
describing it as “It includes the abilities to accurately perceive emotions, to access

39 
 
and generate emotions so as to assist thought, to understand emotions and
emotional knowledge, and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote
emotional and intellectual growth.” The Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional
Intelligence Test (MSCEIT) is an ability-based measure of emotional intelligence
which measures emotional intelligence through a series of questions and tests the
participant's ability to perceive, use, understand, and regulate emotions.

In a 1995 book by Daniel Goleman, science journalist titled “Emotional


Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ”, which went on to become a
bestseller and made EQ a world-famous term in languages like English,
Portuguese, German, Chinese, Korean, Hindi etc., it is propounded by Mr.
Goleman that EQ is as important as IQ for success. Based on brain and behavioral
research, the author shows the factors at work when people of high IQ falter and
those of modest IQ do surprisingly well.

In his book, Goleman lists five ingredients of Emotional Intelligence:

1. Self Awareness – the ability to understand your own emotions


2. Self Regulation– the ability to be able to regulate and manage your emotions
3. Motivation – the ability to be motivated by internal reasons that go beyond
external rewards
4. Empathy – the ability to understand how others are feeling
5. Social Skills – the ability to interact well with others

However, later in 2001, Goleman sought to put the ingredients that define EI on a
more systematicbasis as follows:

40 
 
In 2002, UNESCO launched an international campaign to promote emotional
learning in the classroom.

We are not taught EI as part of curriculum in professional courses, but it has


appeared in our lives and it can be learned as a skill and acquired through
continuous practice as our brain is flexible and continues to learn at any age.

How we can improve our emotional intelligence:

 Observing others
 Observing ourselves
 Observing situations as a neutral observer
 Paying acute attention to our emotions and behavior
 Determining if our behavior and emotional reactions would have been
different if different people were involved

41 
 
 Examining what makes us happy and calms us in stressful situations – When
you are in the midst of a stressful situation, think of this thing which
motivates you and don’t react negatively to the stressful situation
 Direct your emotional energy into productive energies
 Take responsibility for your actions and don’t pin the cause of your behavior
on others
 Don’t attempt to change others, change yourself

CHANGE MANAGEMENT

Change is the only constant in life. Accept Change. It is the shortest route to
success. Acceptance does not mean compromise. It means to consent to the reality
of a situation.

Flexibility or adaptability is a gift. The ability to be easily modified, change


directions easily when required and compromise when appropriate, is a quality
which people with strength of character possess. Flexibility does not mean ‘not
sticking to your time schedule’ or ‘not doing the required task’. It means analyzing
the situation and then altering a certain course of action to achieve the desired
results.

Refusing to accept ‘Change’ in our lives is like refusing to accept that we are
growing older – it will still happen anyway. We are too settled in our comfort
zones and feel uneasy on experiencing something different from the usual. What
we forget is that the only permanent thing in this word is ‘change’ and one who
does not change with the times gets left far behind.

Charles Darwin, English naturalist, geologist and biologist rightly said ‘It is not the
strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the
one that is the most adaptable to change’.

Search for different ways in which you can accomplish your goal. Sometimes in
life you need to stop whatever you are doing, take a deep breath and look from
another point of view to see things differently. Approach the goal more creatively,
42 
 
with a new mindset. Sometimes all you need to do may be just to take a leap back
and then re-emerge again, this time ‘packaged differently’. Changes are not an end
in itself. They are just new beginnings of something different. We just have to
transform, change perspective and work from a different angle.

Things, events, people cannot always be classified as good or bad; right or wrong;
black or white. There are greys too – that in between ‘no man’s land’. Sometimes
what is…is…and cannot be changed. In times like those it is best to change oneself
and go with the flow – and you will be surprised where the flow may take you.
Change your perspective and you may hit the jackpot.

LIFE LONG LEARNING

No person is ever old enough to acquire knowledge. As per the dictionary


Knowledge is “facts, information, and skills acquired through experience or
education; the theoretical or practical understanding of a subject”. Experience,
education, observations, abilities, creativity – is all knowledge. Even if you have
never been to an educational institution and acquired a degree, you may be
illiterate but you may still be knowledgeable.

Knowledge is free. You can acquire it if you want. It is everywhere around you.
The answer lies in choosing the knowledge you wish to acquire and the purpose for
which it is required. You may need expert knowledge for the goal you want to
achieve. Take steps to obtain expertise to achieve your goal. Specialized
knowledge may come at a price but it may be a small price to pay for the
achievement of your goal. Acquiring knowledge and training is an investment; it
should not be an afterthought.

Instead of fearing lack of knowledge, be ready to learn. In the technologically


advanced times which we live in, knowledge is available at the click of a mouse.
There are numerous ways to attain specialized knowledge – online courses;
training courses; continuous education; courses from colleges and universities,
libraries, apprenticeship, reading books, group discussions with people who
already have the required knowledge of your field.

43 
 
Many professional institutions and educational bodies have a system of Continuing
Professional Education (CPE) for their members whereby even after completing a
course and obtaining a degree, a member has to earn a stipulated number of CPE
credits to retain his/her degree. These credits are earned by attending educatory
seminars, workshops and conferences on further learning in the field. We must
imbibe the system of CPE in our life too. Never think you know enough and there
is no room for further knowledge.

Once you acquire the knowledge it needs to be organized and used in the best
possible way. It is a globally competitive environment. Excellent talent may be
available elsewhere but your expert knowledge will develop strong skills that
enhance your performance. The pool of knowledge you have accumulated will
give fresh ideas, expertise in the chosen area and practical techniques to grow your
wealth.

Your ability to learn and transform that learning into an advantage will be the key
to unlock your potential. Economically the world is going through a whirlpool of
changes. There is technological and economic volatility. Specialized knowledge
will guide you, show you opportunities and stretch your mind.

The ultimate purpose of being successful cannot be achieved if there is no


aspiration to be valuable. What is the value addition we can make – will determine
how successful we will become. What more can we provide? What is our skill set
that is unique and cannot be duplicated by anyone? The knowledge, with which we
equip ourself, will help us acquire that skill set which takes us to the goal of our
dream.

Sources to supplement knowledge could be of various kinds:

 Magazines
 Newspapers
 Radio and Television
 The Internet
 Books
 Academic courses
 Professional Development courses

44 
 
 Training courses
 Online courses
 Awareness to the environment around you
 Observation
 Communication with other people

Apart from acquired learning there are two more teachers which impart valuable
lessons to students who are willing to learn – These are ‘Criticism’ and ‘Failure’.
Take these teachers constructively and the life lessons imparted by them positively.
Thus life-long learning if undertaken with an eager positive mindset, will empower
you to reach the pinnacle of success.

Finally, last but not the least is to keep ablaze forever the fire tokeep learning. Age
should never be a barrier to stop studies, work or living. Train your mind that every
day you aspire to learn something new no matter howhard the concept is, how bad
my health is and finally how difficultthe circumstance is. Learn to overcome such
situations and then only you will stand out from the crowd.

WORK-LIFE BALANCE

Balance is everything. If you want to know the perfect work-life balance you
should accomplish - Ride a bicycle.As is the case in riding the bicycle –
maintaining a sense of balance while riding ensures you don’t fall off midway and
your ride is smooth and enjoyable - same is with life. A sense of balance gives you
a hiccup free daily existence – it keeps you away from boredom, over-indulgence;
sickness and disease; stress and anxiety; emotional imbalance and overall lack of
control over yourself.

When balancing your career and personal life don’t think it’s the number of hours
you spend on the two that create a balance. It’s not the quantity of time but the
quality of time spent. There may be days when you devote more time to career
while others where personal life takes a front seat. Have realistic expectations from

45 
 
life and don’t indulge in self-pity. Remember you are not the only one facing the
crisis of a perfect work-life balance.

Now just like in bicycle riding, the tough part in life too is – the weight on the
cycle and the force applied to take it forward ensures that there is a different sense
of balance for different individual. So what may work for one need not necessarily
work for the other because his/her parameters are different.

So, everyone must create their own work-life balance.

CONCLUSION

YOU empower yourself when you sow the seed of positiveignorance in your mind.
You will feel energized and empowered to steer your life to success if you stop
treating external and internal setbacks as roadblocks in life – Treat them exactly
what they are that is ‘merely a block on the road’. Deal with them the way you
would deal with any block lying on the road – Go around it. If you empower
yourself by honing your skills and attitude you are sure to attain whatever you have
desired and live a truly enriching life.

46 
 

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